Become Magnetic and Step Into Your Next Level with Aaron Doughty

I feel like a magnet right now in my life, and I think that is because of what you're saying. I've never had words to put to it where I've fully gotten into myself and been like, I'm just gonna focus right here on the things that make me happy and how I can be.

It is so powerful because you realize the more you are in your own frame of reality, the more you are in your own body, the more magnetic you are. The more you tune to other people. From what other people think of me, are they approving? Do they like what I'm saying? The more your energy is scattered. Pulling the energy back is the most magnetic thing can do, whether it's inside of your own body, whether it's pulling your energy back to your own frame of reality, and what do you value? And that's why when someone's in their own frame, it's so attractive when someone believes something, even if everyone else doesn't agree with what they're saying, but if they believe it and they hold present with that, it's attractive.

Aaron, I'm so excited to have you on the Earn your happy podcast. Thank you for coming on.

Thank you for having me on. I'm excited to be here.

I. Okay, guys. So this whole conversation right before, I was kind of. I always like to know, like, what is on the heart of the purse, the heart and the mind in that moment of the person who's coming on. And I'm so glad that I asked you because I had these other questions down for you. And we started talking about business and how much you love business and also just how kind of your personal growth and your spirituality and all of the things will show up in your business.

Yeah.

It's like the biggest. I was just talking about the saying, when you sign up for starting a business or being in entrepreneurship, like, it is the biggest personal development course you'll.

Ever take, for sure.

In your entire life. It will bring up all of your shit.

Yeah.

It will bring up everything for you, like, all at once.

So many layers to it.

So many layers. So I can't think of a better person to actually talk about this with. And, you know, something big on. On my heart right now is like learning how to be the magnet for my life and my business.

Yeah.

And so I just like consuming your content. You have so much great information. And what I love about you is you're really good with quick delivery, quick information on really tangible ways.

Yeah.

To shift your energy. And so for all the entrepreneurs listening as well, this Is gonna be a great conversation for them. Because you had mentioned you can only grow or your business can only grow as far as you're willing to grow.

Yeah, Yeah. I think everything in our life is a reflection of what we believe to be true. And we get in life a reflection of who we are being. And anytime I've noticed within my own business, if there's something that's stagnating or something that feels plateaued, I always ask myself, where in my life or in my spirituality or in my. My physical. What aspects of my life have I stopped growing as according to who am I being? So one thing that I've always come back to is focusing on that. Where can I expand in my own spiritual growth? Where can I expand and let go of limiting beliefs? And as I've gone through the process of always bringing it out from the external, Because a lot of times we'll focus on the external. I need to change something in my business. I need to hire the right person. I need to let this person go. I need to fix this area. It's always on the external. And what happens is a lot of times that can be deceiving because it puts us down into a distraction where the external, kind of like the symptom is a reflection of something on the inside that may have been. Priorly, we may have been unaware of. So anytime I'm able to kind of go in and look at, where am I not growing, where am I stagnating? What must I believe to be true, to be experiencing this? You know, it's always a reflection of me. If there's something with my team, for example, that's not. That's not jiving. Well, I have to take responsibility for it and realize there's something that I'm doing within myself that is causing that to happen. So radical ownership, radical responsibility for that. And then I can actually look at that within myself and then see how can I communicate more efficiently? How can I cast a better vision and get them bought in and have them excited about something that they feel like they're a part of? And a big part of what I've done is with the intention of really, in a way, starting a movement of people that are really passionate about transforming their life from the inside out. But looking at that spiritual component of how they can magnify what they want or magnetize what they want through their vibration, through their energy.

So tell me about the first time that you started to have that awareness around. It's kind of always you, like you're Always the person within your business. Did you always have a business or did you do personal development first to really learn about raising your vibration?

So for me, the thread, I'll take this back to is back. I used to have a 9 to 5 job selling women's shoes. And I know I talk about this a lot on my YouTube channel.

I love it.

For years, for 10 years, eight or nine years actually, I sold women's shoes. And that was my identity, that was my reality. I thought equal to that version of me. I felt emotions equal to that version of me. I took action equal to that version of me. And that was my reality for eight years. And the wake up call was when I realized that that was my identity, that was my self image. And that's how I saw myself. And then I started to ask myself different questions, like who do I really prefer to be? How do I really choose to show up in the world? And I realized that that identity was somewhat inauthentic for myself. Like some people say, oh, you know, fake it till you make it. Or there's like a feeling of feeling fake or an imposter syndrome. And I realized that not in a shame based way, but I saw that that was more of an imposter. Me living in this 9 to 5 job selling women's shoes, working at Barneys New York felt off.

Like what, what felt imposter during that time, if you can name it, like, this is how I always felt internally.

I felt like I was not living to my potential and I felt like I was rationalizing a lifestyle that I knew wasn't me. Yeah. So like me going to a 9 to 5 job selling women's shoes, I worked with someone there that love selling women's shoes. And ironically enough, she was the top salesperson. She was so passionate, she would, she was really good at getting people to open up accounts. Like everything they wanted her to do, she did a really good job of. Because she was passionate about it.

Yeah.

And then I'm looking at myself and having this also kind of like harsh reflection where a lot of the people I worked with, pretty much all of them, they were older than me by like 10 or 15 years. And many of them had just kind of gotten trapped into selling women's shoes where they weren't passionate about it. We would talk about it and there they were. And I'm thinking to myself, you know, here I am like 27 years old, realizing if I don't do something about this, that's my future. Ten years from now, I'm still going to be selling women's shoes. I'm going to get paid commission, which I enjoyed getting paid commission because I felt like I had a certain level of control over my paycheck. But I'm just not passionate about talking about shoes at that moment as well. It kind of got a little bit contradictory because I was at the time I was vegan. So here I am selling, selling women's shoes that are Italian made leather and there's this like value. At the time I was vegan. So I was like, it's like a major struggle.

You're like selling something that you don't.

Believe be passionate about it. I'm like, oh, this is great. And that was a big reflection to me that who I am being is not in alignment with who I really am. And in February of 2017, that's when I made the choice that every single day on YouTube I'm going to make a video until that's my reality of being a YouTuber. I kind of just made a choice that this is who I'm going to be.

Had you seen someone like that you liked, that was an inspiration.

Like what made you see there's a few threads. So I remembered this time when I was working in 2012, working at Nordstrom's in women's shoes and I read a book that somebody recommended. I don't remember if it was Wayne Dyer or it was Tony Robbins, but it was a book called Psycho Cybernetics. Have you heard of it?

I've heard of it.

I haven't read it yet. It's such a powerful book. But it's all about the psycho cybernetic mechanism inside of ourselves for our self image and how we see ourself. And one thing I realized when I was selling women's shoes at Nordstrom's was every day that I would go into work, I would go in and we would check the sales numbers from the days before. And on those sales numbers was everyone's numbers and you had to hit your numbers. And I always noticed that I was always right in the middle. So as I'm learning about this thing called our self image, which we all have, which we will do anything we can subconsciously to remain consistent to our self image. And I'm like, what is my self image? Where I realized that working that 9 to 5 job, I am an average 7 sales employee. So I'd go into work every day and see the day before, I was always right in the middle, wasn't at the bottom, wasn't the worst salesperson, but I wasn't the top. The two top people were always the top.

Yeah.

So I started asking myself, what would the version of Aaron that's a top salesperson, how would he think, feel and act? How would this version of me greet customers? Would I greet customers or would I be selective? Sometimes people that worked in sales, they would selectively greet customers they thought were going to buy. And I realized that the version of me that was the top salesperson greeted every customer. Didn't profile, greeted everybody. That version of me, I realized, also did this. This almost dumb little thing that I still use in different ways today. But I would do this thing to where after a customer had already bought, I would wrap up their shoes, I'd put tissue over the. The box, and I would walk it around like we're supposed to do to the customer. But the act of putting the tissue over the box was a permission slip for me because it helped me wire in that you are a top salesperson. No one else did that. It was such a stupid, small thing to do. Yeah. But just putting the tissue over the, the, the box inside the bag, it showed me that I go above and beyond for customers. And I would do it. And they also maybe just felt there was a little bit more care I was putting into it. But I started greeting every customer. I realized that I was more so focused than focusing on trying to get from customers like, I want someone to buy. I would focus on how can I add value. And then as I started having that intention to add value, it was like a more authentic energy. I noticed that version of me also was showing more of my personality. So I was focusing more on connecting with people than just getting the outcome. So all of a sudden, I see myself as a top salesperson. I am greeting every customer. I am. I realize that version of me didn't just bring out the one shoe they asked for. That version of me brought out two or three other had the courage to offer other things to them. Yeah. All of a sudden I go from being in the middle of the list to being at the top of the list within days.

Wow.

And it was because I saw myself as a top salesperson. I was being that version of myself. I was adding value. And I had this intentions that were just, I think, also much more pure. So fast forward from 2012, 2017, working that nine to five job. I don't like. I'm like, well, if I was able to go from a mediocre sales employee to more of a top sales employee back in 2012, why can I use that same thing that I learned about who I'm being to go from a 9 to 5 job go or selling women's shoes to being a full time YouTuber. So what I did is the same kind of technique. What does the full time version of Aaron, how does that version of Aaron, that's a YouTuber, think, feel and act? What are the skills of that version of me? How do I show up? What are the focuses every day? And I realized a couple things. One, I realized that that version of me had a lot more leadership, was, was somebody that had to be self motivated because the 9 to 5 job going version of me got told what to do. I didn't like getting told what to do and I resisted it. But still there was some level of safety in being told what to do.

Absolutely. I feel that.

So what I had to do was let go go and realize that I have to be the one to motivate myself. And there was almost this meditation thing. I don't even know how to describe it, but I was in meditation one day and I was actually moved back in at my dad's house because I wanted to give this YouTube thing a go. And I had this download or this idea that if I made a video every single day on YouTube, my life would transform. So in February of 2017, made a choice that every single day, no matter what, I'm going to make a video. And that's what I did. I made a video every single day. And within three to six months my whole entire life began to transform. And that version of me, I realized also had to learn different skills. That version of me had to learn how to edit. That was one thing that held me back. It's like I don't know how to edit. Well, the first YouTube video I ever put out, it says like first blog post because I couldn't figure out how to edit it out. And I spent like two hours.

That would be me.

Yeah, I'm going to put it out anyways, you know. And what I ended up doing is just learning as I went. Didn't have to have it all figured out. One thing that always remains sure, when we're talking about magnetizing your energy and increasing your vibration and being a magnet to your desires, there's the ego and then there's like a higher self that channels through. And when your intention is on adding value to other people, it's like there's a different energy that flows through when you have an intention. Just like in my 9 to 5 job, I want to add value to These customers, I did better than if I want to make money for myself or make a certain amount of commission. The same way, when I had the intention at the beginning of just genuinely, like, authentically sharing my experience and like, on YouTube, and I didn't. I wasn't some guru at the top of the mountain selling women's shoes or anything. When I'm like, on YouTube, I was just sharing what I was learning having that 9 to 5 job. But while I was, like, talking about in the YouTube videos about what I was learning with different law of attraction techniques, with this job, I go to where I start at zero every day. Yeah, you don't have to be a guru at the top of the mountain. However, when you're just one step ahead and you're just sharing what you're learning, people admire that, and it's all. It's authentic. So through the consistency of making videos and having this intention of adding value, it's like the more you step into that, the more ideas the universe sends you, the more people the universe sends you. And the more I stepped into that version of me, it was like people would ask me, how do you. How do you make daily videos on YouTube? Because I made daily videos on YouTube for three years straight.

That's amazing.

And people would ask me all the time, how do you do it? How do you do it? And I would say, like, almost like, I don't know. It just happens because it's a part of my natural identity. I make a video every Single Day on YouTube. It's not hard for me to make a video every single day. And because I had this intention of adding value, what happens is it's like the universe would send me those. As long as my intention is pure and, and. And my intention is of, like, adding value to a collective. It's like the universe flows through to help you to add more value to more people. Now, the thing that you have to be tricky with this, though, is for myself, what I've had to learn is as I started to build a YouTube audience that has over a million followers, what happened is then there was pressure. So you have a million followers now. What in the beginning was just this natural flow thing so bad.

And I can do these videos.

And then, yeah, I could.

Now people are watching.

Now people are watching. And now there's kind of pressure. Yeah, you know, that felt like there was pressure. And what I would flow through when it comes to this magnetizing energy thing that we're talking about, I was way more magnetic when I was making videos. That I was just passionate about talking about where it wasn't tied to views, it wasn't tied to getting a certain number of attention, certain amount of views. And what I had to do is I had to become aware of that within myself and realize for a while I was stagnating. I stopped making daily videos about three or four years in, and I started making five a week and then three a week. And then for a while it was at three a week. And then eventually I went to one a week. Cause I was just getting burnt out. And also when we were talking the beginning of this podcast, I was starting to stagnate. I realized that I was now in this comfortable identity of being a YouTuber, but it was no longer as fulfilling as this new aspect of myself that wanted to emerge.

Yeah.

So after about a year of just like, of just being on YouTube and, and realizing that it's not completely authentic for me to just be, you know, wiring in this YouTuber identity, I knew that my next step level for myself was doing live events. It was going in front of people in, in, in like live event format. And it was like the longer I was holding on to the YouTuber identity, the more resistant, the more blocks I was feeling. Once, funny enough, once I committed to doing live events, everything started to flow again. It's almost like the universe wasn't gonna like, give me and let me just kind of like pass by without personally growing with. Within myself. Because it got like, boring to make videos.

You weren't challenged anymore.

I wasn't challenged at all. I was just bored. And it was like, I was kind of like. I would just try to make videos on things I was passionate about. But also I realized that once I started doing live events, I was getting into new, uncomfortable energy that then it was exciting. All of a sudden. The, the energy coming through and the content coming through is passionate energy. It's new. It's. I'm. I'm expanding myself. And my. I've always known that my audience expands the degree to which I expand.

Amen.

So it's like, if I want. If I want, like, to have new groundbreaking content that I create or whatever that like, comes through, I need to put myself in the unknown and, and grow myself. So this last summer, I did two or three live events back to back in Sedona and L. A. And I just picked these cool locations. My team and I had to adapt to, you know, having hundreds of people in a room and all these things. Whole other thing, whole other world. But funny enough, then what I did is I took content from that. I was telling you before we started this podcast, the content from that has done extraordinarily well on Instagram, IG Reels and on YouTube. And it's. It's curious to me because it's like almost as long how I feel. Making the content is what the people feel that are. That are looking at the content. So if I'm stagnant and in this old identity of being a YouTuber, that's just like talking about the same old things over and over again. You know, once you've made 1800 YouTube videos, it's like how much new concepts are you going to create? But what I realized is I have to step out of my comfort zone and grow myself in order for me to attract in the new, in order for me to also get into a more passionate state. And one thing I've always known is people feel what I feel. So if I'm not feeling it, they're not going to feel it. If I'm bored of talking to a camera, then they're going to feel that. So how can I get myself and grow by also stepping into this new aspect of myself with the intention of still adding value to people. But as I've done that live on stage, it's completely changed my own sense of identity where now I see myself differently. Some of the challenge sometimes is in letting go of the old two. I think I could probably make less YouTube videos than I am right now. But there's an aspect of myself that is probably afraid to let go. Just like there was an aspect of myself that was afraid to kind of let go of that 9 to 5 job back in the day. So it's interesting how this whole game works, but it's all a reflection of who I'm being. And for all of us, it's, we get in life a reflection of who we're being. And our business is a direct reflection of who we are being. Our audience is a direct reflection of how we're showing up. They're feeling what we feel. So putting it back on yourself, letting go of what no longer serves, letting go of the past patterns, letting go of the stories. It allows you to naturally raise your vibration to where then your energy is more magnetic. And something else I'll say as well before I'll bring it back to you. We'll see where this goes. But is the thing I've also been learning lately is to really own the things about myself that make me different. When it comes to marketing, I think there's this like comparison where I compare myself to other people in my niche and I'd be like, well they're doing.

This and they're doing so easy to do.

And it's this like trap almost of like then, then trying to do it in my own way. But it's still what they're doing. And lately what I've been doing is just owning what makes me different. So when I do these live meditations, something I'm very passionate about is tapping into collective live energy.

So you do this online, like what does that look like when you do that?

It's a mixture of online or in person. Normally it's online. I'll do these challenges or 21 day challenges. It's the most successful thing I've done in my business over the last like five years. No, two or three years, I've done about five times. But we'll get like three to 5,000 customers. They come in and they're a part of a 21 day experience. And throughout those 21 days we do a lot of live guided meditations. And the live guided meditations connect them to the group energy and it creates this like safe container. And people have these extraordinary breakthroughs by using the power of group intention. So we've heard of, you know, the mastermind principle from Think and Grow Rich where when two people think of a similar outcome together, they get a certain result. The idea behind this is what if you get 2,3000 people to think about a certain result and what if when they're thinking about like everyone in this container having huge breakthroughs and creating their dream life or the love and the abundance or whatever, what if when you're doing it for them, they're doing it for you? And that's the kind of energy that I'm really passionate about working with. But it always was kind of esoteric and weird. And we do these things called ohm activations where we use frequency, we use sound to connect to the energy that kind of reverberates out of our bodies and into, into reality. And we use it as a permission slip to connect together. They're kind of, it's on the outside looking in, it might look kind of weird. But in live in person, either in person like in LA when we did live events, or on virtual on zoom with thousands of people, there's a certain energy to it that's very hard to explain. But what I've learned recently is that's what I'm owning. I'm owning these OM activations, I'm owning these Esoteric concepts that sometimes I was afraid to share on YouTube. And as I own it and as I know that I show more of that because it's. It actually stands out more. There's not much competition when it comes to, like, you know, live meditation experiences that kind of connect to this. This energy in this way. There's no one doing it that way. So it's like I get to be the one that. That kind of takes ownership of that for myself and my own audience. But for a while, I would block myself from doing that because no one else is really doing that. So I think a very important thing for anyone that's an entrepreneur or wants to be an entrepreneur and is looking on social media, where we're comparing ourselves to a bajillion people, focus more on what's authentic for you, but also what makes you weird and. Or what makes you different is not a bad thing. It's what actually differentiates yourself from everybody else. And if you would just own it, it's an energy that's admirable. Even if people don't like it or if they were to look at what I'm doing, it's kind of weird, but, like, at least he owns it. You know what I mean? At least he's. He's real passionate about it. And there's a lot of. I think there's a. There's a way of reframing that to relate to that in a little bit of a different way.

So when you're talking about that, because I've had to. I've had to learn how to own different things in my career, too. I'm like, I. I think there's so many fears that can come behind that. So for anyone listening, you know, who has something where they're like, God, I really want to do that, but I'm worried about, you know, maybe for you. I'd love to hear some of the fears. Was it like, are people going to think I'm a fraud? Or I'm charging people this money to, like, just do this spiritual thing that you don't get tangible results. And, like, what were some of the things that you had to work through to own it? Because clearly it's your most successful thing, so if you had those fears, it wouldn't work, Right? So what did that actual journey look like for anybody who's listening going, oh, I'm just like, maybe I have to do sales online. Maybe I have to. Whatever that looks like, to really own that fear.

I think for me. So we'll take. There's a couple layers to this for me. It brings me back in my mind to when I was first getting on YouTube and I was putting out Instagram content actually. And I was so afraid to put out Instagram content. Not for the people that were following me from YouTube or Instagram, but for the friends. The 400 people I followed that were friends and family and friends from high school. Those people, that's what I was afraid of seeing. I'm like, they're going to think I'm weird. Yeah, that. Who's this guy from high school that's now talking about these weird esoteric things. Friends and family are going to think I'm weird. That was what I was really afraid of. And for a long time I didn't share that kind of stuff. And then eventually I realized how ridiculous it was. I realized that there were eventually there was 10,000 followers on Instagram and I realized that 9,600 of them were people that liked and wanted to know what I had to say. But I was worried about the 400 people that were gonna judge me or think that it was weird. So what I realized in that moment is that I was in a way holding and robbing the 9,600 other people out from more content, from more intention of adding value to them. I was robbing them and I was in a way robbing myself from expressing the real me. So when I now get to that now even fast forward till now in these 21 day challenges and everything, I think a lot of it we can look on the outside of the symptom of all this. But for me a lot of it comes back down to childhood. A lot of it comes back to caring what mom and dad think. Caring and not wanting to their disapproval. And for myself, what I've really had to do was go through a whole process of individuation. That's something I've been talking a lot on YouTube recently about. But individuating from mom and dad where I think a lot of empaths, a lot of people that are maybe identify with people pleasing. There's this pattern from childhood where we tune to mom and dad to know how do I have to be so that mom and dad don't feel tension, so that mom and dad give me love in the form of approval or validation. So what happens is it's like a survival mechanism that we've, that we've attained from so late.

Yes.

And then what happens is later on in life we're constantly tuning ourselves to everyone else to know how do I Need to be successful so that I'm.

Safe, keep the peace.

How do I need to be to ease the tension? To keep the peace in childhood, in the household, or in life with friend groups and friends and people that are looking at me online. Exactly.

Yeah.

So the process is deeper than just like, oh, just think about the 9,600 people it gets down to. How do I find my sense of safety? Is it tuning to everyone else? Is it tuning to my audience? Is it tuning to my family and my friends and my colleagues and all these other people? Or is it tuning to my own body? Is it tuning within myself? I had to go through a process of individuating from my mom and my dad where I started to see myself. I wasn't praised growing up for having a different perspective. I wasn't. It was something that I kind of had to like, like, kind of like walk on eggshells around just, just everybody else in order just to survive. So what I had to learn is how to feel safe in my own body. And then also I had to start tuning to my own higher values.

How did you feel safe in your own body? What does that look like for someone?

Now what it looks like is there's this technique I have on, on YouTube and I learned it from a shadow work integration coach that I had a couple of years ago. And it's. It comes from a zazen technique, but basically I call it the frame technique. And Now I've made YouTube videos about it and there's. It's gotten a lot of attention online and I get, I see from a lot of people that it's like transformed their lives. And it's very simple practice. What you do is you stare at a candle flame. If you were to imagine there's a candle flame right here and what you do is on the in breath when you take a deep breath in. Let's do that real quick. So, and then you were to feel the separation between. You can breathe. Yeah.

Like how long do I hold it?

Aaron? You on the in breath, you feel the separation between you and the candle flame. And on the out breath, you still focus on the candle flame, but you focus on the peripheral. So even right now, as I look at you, I can look at. I can focus on the peripheral around you. And then what happens is on the in breath, it's separation and on the out breath, it's connection to everything. Now if you think about it like zeros and ones, zeros is other and ones itself. Now, empaths and people pleasers, all they See is zero. All they see is other. Everything is about other. I need to make other people happy. And they genuinely have trouble standing in their sense of power and their sense of self. So what happens is when you do this simple breathing technique where you stare at a candle flame, or any object could be any object, but you feel the separation in your body between you and that object, you will start to feel more centered in your own reality and within yourself. But then you'll also feel that other people's stuff is sometimes their stuff. So if someone has trouble setting boundaries, you look and you imagine someone that you bring to mind and you feel the separation between you and them. And then you realize their disappointment is not your disappointment. If you're an empath, everything is other is zero. So it's like, oh, their disappointment's my disappointment. I'm responsible. Yes. So the process and the power of the frame technique is that you feel the separation between you and a candle flame, you and a wall, you and someone else. And as you feel the separation, you start to individuate from thinking that you're responsible for fixing everyone. And the funny thing is about this too, the more centered you feel inside of your own body. And here's the thing, you are more magnetic. The more you are in your own body, the more you're in your own frame. When I learned about this technique, I was living in Sedona and I remember going out to the grocery store, just going to Whole Foods or even going for a hike. And I would practice just being in my body. And I would become aware of any time I was tuning to the outside for wanting to know if I'm safe, if I was like walking on a hike and there were people walking by me. And that past part of myself would have been like hell, like saying hi out of obligation to say hi. Even if I was in my own world, I didn't feel like it. What I would do instead is I just feel inside of my own body. And what was very fascinating to me is everywhere I went from feeling inside my own frame of reality, feeling safe within my own body. It was like people would want to talk to me, but it wasn't come. I wouldn't have to say anything. And it was like I was just good being in my own body, being in my own frame. It also brought me back to one time when I was in Costa Rica. I was at a life transformation place, and there was this TED speaker, TEDx speaker that was talking and she was teaching about the same idea where what she was doing is at the front of the room. She was asking everyone to send energy, send energy the front of the room, send energy to the front of the room. And everyone's sending energy to the front of the room to her. And she said that when that happens, it's like it makes you want to back up. Like it makes. It repels you when people send energy at you. Then she said, okay, now everyone in the room, bring the energy back in your body, Bring it back in your body, bring it back to yourself. And as she does that, as everyone did that in the room, she's like. It's like a magnetic pull that was pulling towards the audience. So what happened? And we do this at these live events that I run where we'll get people in a group that will do this with each other. And it is so powerful because you realize the more you are in your own frame of reality, the more you are in your own body, the more magnetic you are. The more you tune to other people, the more you're. You're looking for safety from. From what other people think of me. Are they approving? Do they like what I'm saying? The more your energy is scattered. This is why when people want someone, something from someone else, they think of someone else. They're literally saying, sending their energy towards someone else and it's scattering their energy. And what does it do to that person's energy field? It's intrusive.

Yeah.

They can feel it. Right. It's been. It's been.

We've all had it happen before. Yeah.

And it feels manipulative. Right. If someone wants something from.

Yes, totally.

So pulling the energy back is the most magnetic thing you can do, whether it's inside of your own body, whether it's pulling your energy back to your own frame of reality, and what do you value? And that's why when someone's in their own frame, it's so attractive when someone believes something, even if everyone else doesn't agree with what they're saying. But if they believe it and they hold present with that, it's attractive.

This is so interesting because it's a little bit opposite about what we learn about Law of Attraction in a way. Just where I feel like people think that they have to hold that thought and hold that person and hold that vision and keep holding it. And I think that it feels like to me now in my life, I feel like a magnet right now in my life. And I think that is because of what you're saying. I've never had words to put to it. Where I've fully gotten into myself.

Yeah.

And been like, I'm just gonna focus right here on the things that make me happy and how I can be.

Right.

So can you describe that a little bit? What are your thoughts around that? Like with law of attraction, with individuating. Have you thought about that?

Yeah. I mean I think the law of attraction. A lot of people want what they want. You probably want what you want now from an authentic place. From like your took me a while.

But yes.

Because in the beginning of the law of attraction, what do we want? Right. We want the right house, we want the perfect partner, we want all these things. And, and of course if we want it, it's I want that over here.

Right.

Which we don't already have it. You know, once I think you've also obtained a little bit of success and you start asking yourself what's important to yourself. It's not because you realize like you're successful. So you know that even if you buy a new car or a new house, it doesn't really make you happy. Like so what does make you happy? I'm guessing it's this. It's when you're, when you're expressing yourself. It's when you're doing what you love. It's when you're adding value. It's when you're on stage. Like it's when you're, when you're collaborating with your other friends. Like that's probably more fun. And it's not just an outcome. Yep. So what happens, I believe is when we get to our true authentic core of who we are, it's like we value more so the process than the end result. And individuation is becoming self aware of what that is inside of yourself. What really brings you joy, what really brings you happy. That's not necessarily an outcome. But you start living from that place not because of what gets you, but it's because it's who you are. One's a means to an end, one's an end of itself. And I think where the law of attraction sometimes gets it not wrong, but it's misunderstood is people want what they want because they think it's going to make them feel better. When it's not about that, it's about who are you becoming? Are you becoming a leader in your life? Are you becoming someone that's in your own power? Are you becoming more loving? Someone that wants to attract a relationship? They're always, it's what do I want in them? What. Here's my list of What I want them to have, but not realizing what is it that you must embody those characteristics within yourself because you're only going to attract it if it's a one on one reflection for the energy you embody.

Totally.

And it's also a lot of times like when people go out, whether it's attracting love, it's like, what can I get from this person? If you have two people, one's like, what can I get? What can I get from this person? Is this person a match for me? It's a very taking energy versus you go out with someone that's just comfortable with themselves, just wanting to have a good time. If anything, they're checking up on you because they're good, their cup is full. It's just a very different energy. So always bringing it back to people. Feel what you feel. And if you're projecting your energy out of yourself, you're literally like energy's leaving your body and going towards them. They energetically feel that. It feels manipulative. So bringing your energy back and focusing on giving yourself that which you think you want, what you think you want, you think will make you feel better. But the funny thing is is you can feel better right now. You can feel in that vibration and in that energy by focusing on gratitude for what you already have, by focusing on the aspects of yourself that you're nurturing to become. And as you do, you notice that reality changes as a reflection. So individuation is many times a thing that I think many people miss because otherwise they're going to like, if an empathic person's like, well, I want to, to grow on social media. I want this, I want to make everyone happy. You're going to have those desires. And you may not have those same desires once you've individuated because then you realize that you may still want to have an a message that has impact, but you don't want it for the same reason you're not wanting it. Because I feel safe when a lot of people agree with what I do and I feel validated because I didn't feel that in childhood, subconsciously, of course, normally. But then you, you realize, do I even care about the image of myself? Do I even want or need that validation or approval from other people. In fact, when I live according to the values of what's authentic and what's vulnerable, for me, it feels way more authentic. So instead of like, I've shared concepts on my channel that are more polarizing and the old part of me would have been Afraid to do that, but I do it now. Like even being vegan, for example, for a long time I was afraid of sharing that I'm not vegan on my insta. So I was vegan when I started my YouTube channel. And then I wasn't eventually. And then I was afraid to ever talk about it because I was afraid of knowing that a lot. Large part of my. Not a huge part, maybe it's less than I think, but knowing there's lots of vegans in my audience. Cause I'm in the spirituality niche. I was afraid of sharing that. But then one day I made a piece of content talking about that. Like, even as I share this right now, there's a part of me that's. I don't want to cause you tension because you're not going to like the fact that I'm not vegan. I'm not who you thought that I was. And you might think that all these things. But then I. That was part of the video lesson. I was like, this doesn't equal who I am. But also I have to detach from thinking that you are mom and dad, you know, And I think a lot of times we're trying to appease mom and dad and that becomes our audience, comes our business, comes whatever, whatever else in our life. And for me, individuating has made my content better. It's made my relationships better, it's made my energy better, it's made. It's made so many areas of my life better by empowering myself to be different, empowering myself to be safe in my own body, choosing my own values, and knowing that if other people don't like it, that's not something. That's not my responsibility to make them happy. And sometimes the best lesson for them might be to feel that tension. You know what I mean? There's so many times I've made videos before that triggered people, and people come back three months later and they're like, thank you. This video triggered me from three months ago. But now I see, like I went through a whole process or something. So it's like we're robbing literally people from knowing the real part of ourselves by holding that aspect of ourself back. And we're robbing other people from maybe the lessons or the. The content that might actually propel them to change by trying to tiptoe around them.

Yes, I talk about that a lot because I. So I love that topic because in the beginning, even when I started doing whatever I'm doing now, podcasting, speaking all the Things I was always, you want to be. You want to be the hero. You do. You want to be the hero for people in the beginning of the journey. And you have to. I had this realization that you actually have to play the villain for some people in order for them to get the lesson that they need. And like, you're going to even. No matter how hard you try to play the hero, you're going to be the villain for somebody.

Right.

And it made me realize how important that is though, because I look at the people I made a villain in my life and the role that or the lesson that they gave me is the most important one. The most important one.

Yeah.

And you know, because I think sometimes we can feel so misunderstood by people. I don't know if you've ever had that experience where you're like, it's like, the more I try to fix this, the more misunderstood I'm getting.

Yep.

And the harder it is. Oh my God. So tell me about something that I'm really thinking about as you're talking about individuating is like, how that's probably helped you in business, but I want to know the difference between how do you set goals in your business but still, like hold this intention while still just trying to be within your own energy and operating within your business? Like. Like, how do you reach your goals while not feeling like you have to or it's forced or putting your energy out so much to that goal that it's like a need?

Yeah, that's a great question. I. For me, it's kind of evolved as time has gone on with the process of like setting goals for my business. Lately, the things I've been more so focused on is doing the things in my business that bring me a certain amount of joy and identifying what that is and then offloading the stuff. That's not my zone of genius. And for me, having the vision, for me, the, the thing that's driven me a lot is always impact. So more so. And sometimes I got to catch myself because it's like I would have 10,000 people be in my, my 21 day challenges if I could and do it for free. But if I do it for free, no one, like a thousand out of the 10,000 people that signed up show up.

Yes.

If I charge a low ticket price, like 67 bucks for a challenge and it's only three or five thousand people will join. But guess what? I get 2,000 people on the live calls. And I've had, I've done, I've gone live for 21 days in a row. And by day 21, there's still like a thousand people on the call.

Energetic commitment. Like money is an energetic.

Exactly. And for me, the way that I view money is, is in proportion to impact. So for me with my team, a big part of the thing that we've focus on his impact is, is having a certain number of people in the challenges, seeing a certain amount of customer, you know, customer transformations inside the challenge, inside the Facebook groups and stuff of like people just authentically sharing testimonials. So a lot of our goals are around that. And there is a money component to it, to where obviously you have. I have to be mindful of the expenses and all of that. And there's definitely like a vision for that. But the thing is, with my kind of business, to have been on YouTube, it really. I can't plan out my year the way some people do. And I've always wanted to. I wish that I could plan out like this is what we're doing this month, like, like, I know, a month or two in advance, but not like seven months from now.

Right.

I might do three challenges next year, I might do two challenges next year, I might do four. I don't know. But there is, I kind of know, based on my connection with my audience, of when it feels appropriate, because it also depends on my energy. Am I having big breakthroughs right now? Is there something that I want to help my audience shift through? Because I'm shifting through it. So it kind of depends on that also. But when it comes to goals, there's a vision in the background. Every night before I go to bed, I do a technique where as you're going to bed at night, you feel the emotion of what you want to create in your life as if it's already happened. Not as if it's going to happen in the future, but as if it's happening now. And part of that is around the impact. And for me, it's like finding one vision that I can viscerally connect to. So for example, for me, it's being on stage. I love being on stage and I love like helping people have breakthroughs. I love especially leading guided meditations without with hundreds or thousands of people. That's my favorite thing is leading guided meditations that are in the moment. So I imagine being on stage and, and doing and leading people through a guided meditation with the lights dimmed down low and like people, some people sitting, some people lying on the floor and just like this energy that's being created in the room and just the information's all coming perfectly and it's a very detailed vision of what that is. And as I think of that, I feel into it. And as I'm feeling that every night or every morning when I wake up, I meditate right before I go to bed. And right when I wake up in the morning, it's like I'm anchoring in that reality. So part of it is a visceral, like, feeling that I have that's tied to a specific moment of what I want to create. That's kind of like a metaphor for what I want to create. My life. For someone that wants to attract love or something like that, they can imagine themselves in the perfect relationship where they can just be themselves and there's such high integrity and maybe they're at the beach and there's this one moment that they're in and they're sharing this beautiful moment together and the sun is setting and like they can put themselves there viscerally and feel as if it's happening and realize that emotions already inside of them. Doing that consistently brings through more of that energy in your reality. It's like almost like it's in your field more so. For me, business is very energetic, whereas normally I think the way is like, what are the numbers? We have to hit the numbers. But the numbers to me are always a reflection of impact. So I focus on impact. I focus on how many people do we want in this challenge. We want 5,000 people to join this challenge. And of course, there's going to be a certain dollar amount that's there.

Right.

But I feel like when the intentions on impact, it's also much more tied to the value it's going to provide them. Which means if we get 5,000 people in on a challenge, there'll be this number of testimonials which it's like them focused. Yes.

It'll shift your energy because instead of saying, how do I get the numbers up? Okay, well, I have to go online and say this today. Instead, it's like, how do I get more people? And, oh, well, I have to make them feel this way. I have to. So it. It helps you come from a totally different place, which is awesome.

Yeah. Even. Even that 9 to 5 job I had, I'd go in if it's. I want to. I want to. I want someone to buy from me because I want to hit $5,000 a day in my sales. They can. It's a different energy than if I go. I want to add value. Yes. In the background. I want to hit $5,000 for the day, which means $500 a commission, get paid 10%, right? That was, you know, that's, that's what was a great day back when I was working that 9 to 5 job that's in the background, but that's an exchange for the value. So how can I make people feel better? How can I enjoy what I'm doing? How can I show my personality? How can I connect with people emotionally? How can I. It's just a different intention, it's a different energy. And I think a lot of times with the law of attraction, it's on the outcome, it's on this result, it's on this thing that we want to get. And it's a very manipulative energy where it's coming. I want to get that from over there. Whereas instead when it's I want to give, it's like there's a different universal connection to that. And also it's then in alignment with everyone, with what everyone else wants to receive. Like everyone has an intention, right? If your audience has an intention of wanting to be added value or wanting a new insight or wanting a new transformational idea. So if you have an intention of giving that to them, it aligns with them. But if you have an intention of getting certain amount of money, they're going to feel that and it feels like taking. So it's like a. It's just a different way of approaching the same energy. But the more I've had an intention of following my passion, of what in my business feels the best to do right now, focused with, coupling that with an intention of impact, it's just a completely different energy that has better results. And in the background, I know I want to hit this number per year. I want this number come from challenges, I want this number to come from Google AdSense. Like there's a. There's an amount there that I in the background know, but people overly fixate on that, forgetting that it's not about the end result, it's about the process, it's about enjoying the process, it's about having more fun, it's about enjoying the process of the value you can give. For me, it's like I'd feel sometimes anxious before going on stage. And the moment I get up there though, the moment the anxiety is gone, which is kind of crazy, but there's a passion energy that flows through. So it's like remembering that and focusing on being in that passion frequency. The more I'm in that passion frequency, the more money I make. The more abundance is there and the more impact that happens. So how can I get in that energy more often? Is the question I'm asking myself. More so than what do I need to do to get this dollar amount so I can hit my numbers for the year? Yeah. That I found to be more powerful.

So we'll kind of end talking about money just because. Did you. Did you have to change your money story? How do you feel about money right now? Like, what? Tell me your relationship with money.

So my relationship for money is. I don't know if I, if I relate this to my astrology or anything. I have a Taurus rising, so. And I'm in the spirituality niche. Love it.

Love.

But I'm a very grounded person. I do love luxury. I love nice sensual experiences. I love crazy good food. That's always been a part of myself that for a long time I felt shame around because I was like, ooh, if you're spiritual, you're not supposed to enjoy any of that. It's all about meditating and getting to the fifth dimension and like connecting and, and being as.

You can't bring bags to the fifth dimension.

Like. Yeah, exactly. So, like, I've gone from being the martyr of like I need to like, suffer to then realizing way I can enjoy the human experience. And I believe that part of my lesson because I. I live in a nice house. I Sometimes I'm like, can I post about this post where I live because it's more unrelatable or something like that. But what I realized is just who I. There's things I value. I like living in a nice house. I've always liked nice houses. I don't really care about cars. I don't really care. There's certain things I don't really care about. I like good food. I like nice houses. And my relationship is how do I feel when I'm experiencing that? For me, to live in a nice house, for me is very expansive.

Yeah.

When I live in a small house, I don't. I'm not passionate about. It affects my content. It affects my energy.

Yeah.

And I could be happier with less. It's not about, like, am I not happy unless I'm living in a big house? Right. I enjoy it. And it's something that I've learned that I don't have to feel shameful about.

Yeah.

But with money, I think in spirituality especially, there's this distorted view on money where it's like, you can't. If you charge for your spiritual services, then somehow bad or evil.

Right.

When Money is simply a byproduct in our reality. It's just this. Everything in our reality is neutral. Everything is neutral has no built in meaning other than the meaning we give it. You get someone that says money is bad, okay? That's what they believed about money. Well, guess what? If money is bad, you're probably not going to attract a bunch of it into your life. Imagine you're, you're like gaslighting someone and you're wanting them in your life. Just, money is bad. Money is bad. Money is bad. Like if money were a personality, like it wouldn't like you if you're like money bad, right? At the same time, if you're like, money is so important, it's the best thing ever and you put it on a pedestal, that's also not good. It's making it very important. It's creating all this resistance around it and it's glorifying something. It's almost giving it too much meaning. It's given it too much meaning. Yeah. So in, in essence, money is just this neutral thing that we use in our reality to exchange energy. That's it. It's just this. It's just this thing that we use to exchange energy. I've always known that in my life, my money, that the money that I make and the abundance that I have is just a reflection of the energy I'm putting out in the world. And that's the way I view it. And honestly, also having more money allows me to have a bigger team. I think of it in forms of I can hire more people, I can pay them very nice, I can. They're very happy, they're very bought in on the mission. I'm able to have, you know, other aspects of my business I can flow money into like that. I view money more as just a resource. So it's an energy, it's a resource and I relate to it in that way. And in the beginning, I had to get used to viewing it in that way where it's not really good and on the top of the hill and it makes me worthy, but it's also not in the dumpster. This bad negative thing that is controlled by the Illuminati or something like that to where, you know, it's, it's bad because either one of those, you're going to resist it in your life or it's going to, it's going to cause problems because there's too much resistance with it. But if it's just this neutral thing, it's natural, like your identity, it's natural to be abundant. It's natural to have nice things. It's natural to have nice experiences. And that to me is what I let be natural for myself. And having that way of relating to it has allowed. Money's always kind of come easy for me. And it's not because I don't give it a lot of importance. It's funny, I have friends that are that area of their life that might be a big block for them, but. And I can. It's. It's clear that that's something they make very important is something. And I've done it to myself as well. So I'm not like I have it all figured out. But it's very clear that that's an area of their life that they make important, that they have resistance around. Whereas me, there's times where in relationships or in other dynamics of my life that there may be challenges. And I can tell that it's the same energy. It's just that we have different things. But money hasn't been that for me. Money is just this neutral thing that just kind of comes. And I've just always trusted that it comes as a reflection of what I give. So instead of focusing on what can I get? It's like, how can I give more? And the money will just naturally come. And I just have confidence in my ability to give and to tap into my audience to see what that is while also taking the importance out of it.

So good. I. I didn't even get to half the things I wanted to get to with you. This was so great. I'm feeling like all sorts of magnetized right now. Like. No, really, like that.

Individuated.

It was individuated. Magnetized, vibrated. All the things vibrated. Is that a thing? All right, well, just beyond grateful, but I want to know what you are most excited about right now in your life. Like what are. And how can we get involved with you? So if we're excited about your meditations that you mentioned or the.

I did a live meditation last with all the stuff that's happening in the world right now. I did a live unity meditation where we had 4, 000 people. There's some called the Maharishi effect where when thousands of people get together and they focus on peace and love, like it can decrease violent crimes in the world. Like it's this crazy cool thing. It's called the Maharishi effect. But anyways, I've been really passionate about doing live guided meditations on my YouTube channel for sending love and generating that love within ourselves and connecting to the group energy that's been very powerful. And so I've been doing that on my YouTube channel. Other than that, live events are coming up for 2024. I'm very excited about group live containers with like a safe space for people to transform and go into their inner work and elevate their vibration. That's something that's coming 21 day challenges I'm going to be doing in January. But yeah, just different things that are all along the same line of live guided meditations, group energies, self transformation from the inside out. And yeah, that's my focus.

Amazing. Okay, where can we find you? Follow you all the things.

AaronDoughty44 on Instagram, Aaron Doughty on YouTube and other than that, yeah, that's pretty much YouTube and Instagram are the main ones. I'm focused on Amazing. And podcasts, of course.

Amazing. I'm so grateful for you. Thank you so much for coming on the show. And you guys, the biggest thing that you can do for our guest is number one, just go follow him, go get on one of his meditations because they're life changing. But also give him a tag and let him know what your biggest takeaway was from this. You guys know I love to see it on stories. You guys know that I love to share it and we kept something from you. So we have some bonus content that Aaron did. So he is going to give us his top tip on how to come back to peace, come back to his power when he gets triggered. So all you have to do is go to the link in show notes and you're going to get the bonus content. Thank you guys so much and we will see you next week.