Boundaries, Business Anxiety, and Why Your Dreams Deserve a Timeline

If you're in anxious mode, let me tell you what doesn't happen. You don't start making more money in that mode. And you absolutely don't get creative ideas when you're coming from a place of lack and anxiety. What we want to make sure on is that you don't create resentment around relationships that are actually important to you, and that it doesn't get blurred in thinking that it's a them thing, when really we have a lot more control over it than we think. Some people slide into my DMs and just say, wow, this looks like my absolute dream come true. And I thought to myself, they're totally right. This is my absolute dream come true. But it's more than that. This did not just happen. This was my intention come true. Hey everyone. Welcome back to the Earn your happy podcast. Today's episode is another throwback, one of my favorite conversations. And you guys know that I've had this podcast for eight years. So if you're newer to the podcast, I have literally recorded over 1400 episodes, you guys. So I want to make sure that you don't miss any of these super amazing, juicy conversations that I have chosen just for you. Because I can't tell you about the wealth of knowledge that is in this freaking catalog of throwbacks. I don't want you to miss it. It's truly what has changed my life and helped me on my journey of growth in entrepreneurship, in relationships, in personal development. And I know that these messages are going to hit you in the same kind of powerful way that they hit me. So I hope that you love this one as much as I do. And let's get started. Hey everyone, welcome back to the show. It's time for another quickie, because there's always time to fit in inspiration. And I'm gonna keep reminding you every podcast during the holidays that instead of skipping your routines when it gets crazy, I just want you to modify them. Modifying means have a plan B and a plan C. When you start getting busier and you start noticing maybe that your motivation is going down, don't skip it. Figure out something that is easier and quicker that you can do. Because when you have a plan, you're way more likely to follow through on the plan than when you don't have a plan at all. And you think that you're going to come up with one in the moment. And so many of us are like, well, I go to the gym three times a week. I have my routine. If I can't do that, just screw it. Skip it all together. No. At least have a plan for a 20 minute walk or a 20 minute at home workout. It makes a difference. When January 1, 20, 25 hits, you will either still be in a habit and momentum or not at all. So I know so many of you out there were just like me where it was. So all or nothing. I was like the 20 minutes doesn't really matter. It's not about, you know, the calorie burn or did I tear my muscle down enough to make progress during this time. It's not even remotely about that. It is about staying in motion, period. If you were get out of motion during this time out of your routine, it's going to feel like you are pushing a boulder uphill. Come January 1st when you're looking for all of that energy for these new big goals in this new version of you, it's not going to happen. You're literally benching yourself before the game starts because you're not giving yourself the fighting chance to even have the energy to do it. So get a plan B for all of those things that I just said that you always know, fall by the wayside and then get a plan C. Get your easiest plan. If I don't that, then at least I'm going to do this. And I want to also help you with staying in a routine. So you guys can go to getglo.com and use code happy for 25% off. That's G L O C I.com because if you stick to gloi during this time, it's telling your brain that you take care of yourself and you're prioritizing yourself. So have it in the morning or the afternoon and have it at night as well. So do two a day. You'll be hydrating, you'll be getting your zinc, your magnesium, your vitamin C, your probiotic, your hyaluronic acid, your prickly pear, your coconut water powder, your trace minerals, your little bit of sea salt, all the things that you need for the cold and flu season and also just to feel good. And it's gonna help so much with your gut and digestion and making you feel less bloated. This Probiotic has over 30 clinical studies and so many of them are on. Better digestion and better nutrient absorption is going to help you not feel as bloated and it's going to help you just feel better all around. So you guys, you can go and check that out today. I want to talk to you about intention versus dreaming. So I just had a birthday and it was just the dreamiest weekend that I can remember. And to date, it was my favorite birthday. Not because of, you know, anything wildly crazy, not because of, you know, certain people were there, certain people weren't. It was because I got really clear on what would make me happy and what would be fun. And of course, I wish that there were more people there. And so many of the people during this holiday season, you know, don't live near me. And some people couldn't fly in or they had family stuff or holiday stuff already. Great. Totally great. I want to tell you about intention versus dreaming with how this all came to be as one of my dream weekends that maybe I've ever had. And I had somebody after I posted a bunch of photos and some videos of me and some girlfriends and friends on a yacht on the ocean in this, you know, beautiful 55 foot, white, new glorious yacht that was like a dream, absolute dream boat, literally, that I was like, I just want to spend my birthday on the water on this beautiful boat that just reminds me and makes me feel so abundant. And it's just a beautiful surrounding that gets beautiful photos that's so comfortable. And I want, you know, my playlist on the stereo and I want to bring my portable karaoke machine and I want to sing Christmas karaoke as the sun is setting with the harbor lights and going through the marina with all of the homes on the water so that I can see into their homes and see all their Christmas trees and all of their Christmas lights. Because, yes, that's totally what I do. I'm that creeper who's like, okay, let's go at dusk so I can see into their house and look at all of their Christmas stuff on the water. You don't live on the water unless you want that. You definitely don't decorate unless you want that. So this time of year, that is what everybody is doing in Newport beach is decorating the crap out of everything, going on boats and looking at everything. So this was my dream. And right down to me and my girlfriends I had went and bought some matching sweaters and then a few of them went and like matched the sweater as well. And I was very excited about this. Number one, because I've never done that. Number two, it was like kind of my, you know, birthday dream and content dream for my birthday come true. So we're all out there having just like literally the time of my life. And I also made sure to have people who I knew I wouldn't care if I was a hundred percent myself, if I monopolized the Karaoke machine or, you know, people think if I suck at saying it didn't matter to me. I wanted to be with people who did not judge me whatsoever. In fact, who I knew loved me unconditionally. Like, they can love me at my best and they can love me at my worst. And I wanted it to be people who were super laid back and just matched my energy and I didn't have to entertain. And this was my absolute daydream. All of these different things all coming to fruition at once. And so I posted some of these pictures and some of these videos, and I had some people slide into my DMs and just say, wow, this looks like my absolute dream come true. And I thought to myself, they're totally right. This is my absolute dream come true. But it's more than that. This did not just happen. This was my intention come true. This wasn't just a moment of intention. This was years and years and years of intention. Because a dream is just a thought. It's something that you like, it's something that you want. It's a picture in your head. It's something you cut out on a magazine and you put on a board. It's something that you look at and you say, wow, that's the dream. That would be the dream right there. Or, I have this, you know, thing that I would love to have, but an intention. An intention is an action plan. It's something that's happening because you're going to make it real. Intentions don't leave room for if or someday. They absolutely beg for a plan. And people get stuck because they think, like, dreaming in the board. And maybe taking a few actions is enough. But if you're going to make an intention, it is when you put things in the calendar that are immovable. It's when you send emails to people that you know most likely will return with rejection or no answer. It's when you go out of your way to make something happen that may appear impossible. And you're going to try it until you've striked out so many times that you're unfazed by striking out anymore. So I think of a few people when I think of an intention versus a dream. And I think of Ed Milet, who talks about one more in his book. And he's not talking about, you know, one more thought or one more dream. He's really talking about one more action, one more call, one more email. I think of Annie Frisello as 75, hard right. He does the challenge. He's not asking you to think about being fit or dream about it. He's asking you and telling you the unfiltered truth, that if you don't take 75 days of action in a row to do hard things, you're not going to get it, period. So I know that, you know, it's that time of year where manifesting and dreaming feels so incredibly good. And you put it on a board and you put all of these different thoughts out. And I think that is so vital. But I want to add doing your dream calendar, like, get it in the calendar, send the emails, get intentional. You know, work on getting that friend group that you want, work on saving that money to go on that boat ride that you want on your birthday. Like, coordinate the things that you need, tell the people what you want, join a mastermind, do the things that it's going to take to get that dream life in one year from now or five years from now. Obviously, being able to go on a yacht on my birthday on the Pacific Ocean, looking at the Newport coast with girlfriends in matching sweaters with my portable karaoke machine with a charcuterie plate with champagne, of course, that did not happen overnight. I have been dreaming this dream, but for 15 years, I have been getting intentional with this dream for 15 years. What is something that you want to create in your life? And yes, this may not be your dream, the one that I just said about your birthday, but it was mine. And I'm willing to do anything that it takes to create dream scenarios that I look back on and say, oh my God, that was the best freaking birthday I have ever had. And it was the best because that was my intention. So I'm sending you guys so much love. I'm so grateful for you and I hope that you go out and you create your next dream birthday in this next dream year in 2025, because you have an action packed calendar full of intentions and stop dreaming about it and make it happen. All right, you guys, I'm sending you so much love. And until next time, earn your happy. Bye, everyone. Welcome back to the podcast. It's time for another quickie because there's always time to fit in inspiration. And as the holidays are here. Guys, they're here. Hallmark has started doing all of the Christmas movies. Everyone's decorating. I hate to tell you, if you are someone who decorates in December, I am so sorry. I decorate November 1st. I would actually love to start decorating in October. I am gonna maximize this the holiday season. I just want Christmas to explode in my face. That's really what I want come November 1st. So I'm in it. I'm loving it. And I want to tell you that one of the biggest hacks that you can do during the holiday season is to stay in some semblance of a routine. It doesn't mean that you have to keep your exact routine, your gym routine, your supplement routine, all the routines, your routine for your routine. Trust me, I get it. It's insane. I don't even know how we do this as human beings, you guys, but if you keep one to two of your normal habits that you do and you just promise yourself that you're going to stick to these throughout the holiday season, it's going to be huge for you. And one of those routines for me, obviously, you guys know I'm never going to stop walking, no matter what. I'm going to keep my walk and I'm going to keep my glossy. So I'm going to be having my two sticks of glossy per day and I'm going to be doing my walk. And come hell or high water, no matter what happens that day, no matter what kind of Christmas shenanigans are going down, I am having my two sticks of gloi and I am having my walk. So there you go. I hope that this helps you guys. If you want to get 25% off, you can go to getglocey.com and use code Happy, Please tell me what you are going to keep during the holiday season. And today I was thinking, I literally just got this thought of what I wanted to talk about on my quickie in the shower because, you know, sometimes we get our best thoughts there. And I was trying to think of the things that I've been doing lately that have been helping me. And I was racking my brain and racking my brain and I was like, oh, my God, you know what? I have been investing into organization. So my word of the year is organization. And if you know me, I am super creative. And it's funny because my house is insanely organized, but, like, I really struggle in the department of, like, just the flow of my day and what that should look like and how to get really organized in my company and how to get really organized in my email and organization on all of those types of things. So I've been investing in organization. And so I want you to look because I had this just epiphany in the shower and I was like, your anxiety is begging you to invest. Because if you have anxiety around something, it probably means you don't have a plan that you feel confident in. And when you don't have a plan that you don't feel confident in, it may just mean that you don't have a strong skill set in the thing that you're planning. And so for me, I admittedly can tell you that I do not have a strong skill set in organization. So in order for my anxiety to calm the F down, I am investing in organization. So if you don't know where to invest, I want you to think of the place that you carry the most anxiety around. For me, I'm really trying to figure out a daily schedule of, like, I want my podcast all to fall in one day. I want team meetings all to fall in one day and different meetings all in one day. I want to feel like my I know my exact content days. I want to know what I'm filming on those exact days. I want to look at my schedule and be like, I know what I'm doing. I know when I know what I'm having to deliver so that in my free time, I can actually chill out instead of freak out. So that's where I'm at right now. And so, you know, looking at, what do you need to invest in the most? Where is your anxiety the highest? What feels like you do not have a plan around it. And from that, if you don't know someone who can help, you start putting it out there, put it out on social media. I was just with a bunch of girls and I said, hey, does anybody have, like, a life organizer or someone who can really help me in business and in life to just organize my entire schedule, like, come and look in at everything that I have to do in a week, in a month, and help me just get this to a place where I feel good. And one of the women was like, yes, I have the perfect person for you. So literally, I have the email in my inbox. I'm going to be emailing her right after this to invest in organization in that particular arena in my life. The other one that I have a lot of anxiety around is social media. And while I have a team who helps me post and get it posted, I'm still coming up with the content strategy. And so for me, it's tough for me to, like, look at all of the businesses that we have, along with glossy and go. What's a really great content strategy for all of this? So I am hiring a social media strategist who's really freaking good. And if it goes the way that I hope in the next Couple months, I hope to have her on the podcast as well because if this is something you're stressed out about, your anxiety is asking you to invest in it. It's worth it, you guys, to get the plan. So not only am I about to invest in this kind of like life and business organizational woman, I'm also going to invest in a social media strategist. On top of that we're doing, we have this big team meeting coming up for Glosy that we're getting a plan for 2025 around that was also a really big stress for me is like I need to know the exact org chart of everyone in the company who's covering what, what do we all need to get done, Making sure that every single job is accounted for in a really powerful way and that we have our set plans moving into 2025 of our one to two main focuses. And so for you, if you're thinking of next year, you might have 10 different things you want to focus on, but getting it really narrowed down to, to what are the main things that are moving the needle and what are the one to two things you're going to focus on. If you don't know what that is yet, you might have to do what I did this year. And you sample a whole lot of marketing ideas and you realize some work and some totally don't. And the speed in which you are willing to get through those and try them is going to be really important too. That's a big lesson that I took away from this year is yes, try the different modalities for marketing and figuring out how your business is best going to catch on or be seen. But if you realize in three months that one is not working, move it on out. Like start the next thing as soon as you possibly can because you don't want to stick with something that's dead just because you hired this team, like hire all teams on a 30 to 90 day basis, a trial basis, because you just never know what's going to work. So you guys, I hope this helped. I hope that you look at the places that you're anxious around and you know that an investment in that particular area would be huge for you. And I get it, I get it. There's been times in my life where I have not had the money to do this. So I just pick one and I try to work out as much as I possibly can into investing into that particular thing because it is going to save you time, it's going to save you money eventually, and it's going to help your anxiety and free you up energetically to get those creative thoughts again. Because if you're an anxious mode, let me tell you what it doesn't happen. You don't start making more money in that mode. And you absolutely don't get creative ideas when you're coming from a place of lack and anxiety. So, you guys, where does your anxiety want you to invest? So I'm sending you so much love. And until next time, earn your happy. Bye, everyone. Hey, everyone. Welcome back to the show. It's time for another quickie because there's always time to fit in inspiration. And I am just sitting here my first day in Arizona out of 10 days. Chris and I came back because it is his birthday week, it is Thanksgiving week, and also our favorite vet for our dogs this year, and poor Bonkers is about to get neutered. So we are back here for all of the things. And let me tell you, all of the things are also happening to my skin back here. That typically happens in wintertime in the desert, and that is I was feeling dry, I was feeling cracked. And I am doubling up on glosi, which is per usual. I'm telling you, I don't know how I even survived without glosi. It is so huge for skin hydration, for gut health, and especially with this holiday season, there's so many different foods that are coming in that you don't normally eat. Like, literally just getting here. I bought some snack food from a gas station and I'm like, why am I eating string cheese? Like, this is not the best thing for me right now. But I swear it's helped me not bloat, like, wake up and not feel like my stomach is bloated, feel like I have a flat stomach, feel like I'm not retaining water. I'm sleeping better. I swear, when we created this, I wanted to just look at all of the different things that I hated feeling. And I'm like, I want great skin. I want to wake up. I want to feel lean. I don't want to feel bloated. I don't want stomach issues. And that's what we did with glossy. So all you have to do is go to getglossy.com and use code happy for 25% off today. I want to chat with you about the season, what's coming up, what's on your heart right now with getting to know that you are going back to see your family, most likely, or you're going to go be around a whole lot of people that maybe are challenging to you. Maybe it's not the easiest time when you think about holidays because it's extended family or it's dropping in for long periods of time with family. And so I just did a teaching into Growth Day. Growth Day is an app that Brennan Bouchard started, and I was teaching on better family communication. And it really brought up a lot of things that I deal with and that I've dealt with in my past. And I can sit here and say that after a lot of family challenges and a lot of uncomfortable holidays or holidays that we didn't necessarily love, that we've been able to have incredible holidays and really improve our relationships and make holiday time something that we all look forward to. Because I actually used to get so stressed out about it. I'm like, oh, my God. I have to be around people that I'm uncomfortable around, or we have to, you know, do things that we don't love. Or I'm going to feel awful. I'm going to feel bloated, I'm going to eat all this food, I'm going to drink all this wine, and we're going to spend all this time with people. It's not going to be super fun. Right? Like, I don't know anybody who wants to get out of their routine to spend like three to seven to 10 days in a house doing things so far outside of your routine that you feel like crap. You start getting anxious. You start to just feel terrible in your body. You start to feel depressed because of what you're eating and what you're drinking and what you're talking about. Maybe it's really negative. Maybe you're just not loving the conversations that you're having. So I want to give you some things to think about right now to improve this time of year in this experience. So a lot of you are going back for Thanksgiving. A lot of you are going back for the holidays. A lot of you are going back for Christmas, New Year's, whatever it is. I want you to think about one to three things that could make this holiday time better. So I'm going to use a couple things as an example that we did when Chris and I first got together and we were going back to his family's house for the holidays. Mine does not celebrate holidays, but we would go back for days at a time. We'd go back for five days, seven days, 10 days sometimes. And we had a couple of experiences that were not awesome because we didn't set boundaries. We didn't have the conversations that we wanted to have. We weren't eating healthy food. We totally got off the rails. We completely were not on our routines or schedules. We got so far behind on work that when we started to think about going home, it actually stressed us out beyond what we could possibly tell you because it felt like we were getting behind in everything. Getting behind in work, getting behind in, in fitness, feeling like we're gaining weight, not feeling good, relating bad feelings to it. And we're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. This is not what this time is about. And we can't necessarily even blame these people. Like, it's not their fault. It's the fact that we are not interrupting this pattern in these traditions and saying what we actually need in order to get a holiday experience that we desire. Just because something has been done one way for however long in the past does not mean that it has to continue to be that way. It's okay to have conversations. It's okay to ruffle some feathers around it. What we want to make sure on is that you don't create resentment around relationships that are actually important to you and that it doesn't get blurred in thinking that it's a them thing, when really we have a lot more control over it than we think. So when we were thinking of the situation, we were like, okay, what were the one to three things that we could change? Because you don't want to bring them. Like, 10 things. That's going to be overwhelming. They're probably, probably going to be like, hell no. Like, who do you think you are? We brought one to three. So we said, what are the three things that we would want to change in order to make this an incredible experience for us and for them, like, really think about them as well. And the first thing that we said was that we would need to stay in our routine and what would that look like? So we want to be able to walk. We want to be able to walk alone together. We want to be able to keep our morning walks. We want to be able to eat something healthy in the morning. We want to go do our power nine that we do the three gratitudes, the three excited abouts, and the three manifesting things that we do. We want to be able to have a little bit of time in the morning to get that walk, maybe a workout because, you know, it's holiday time and you're off. Why not? And then we also want to be able to catch up on work if we need to. Like, maybe it's just 20 minutes, maybe it's an hour in our inbox Every day, You know, not on Christmas Eve or Christmas, but like, maybe it's an hour where you're just playing catch up so that you don't feel like you're getting behind so that you're just on top of things so you can really be present and enjoy and not feel like, oh my God, my team needs me. Oh my gosh. My, my parents are like upset with me because I keep looking at my phone and trying to answer things. And so that was the first thing that we brought to them is we said, hey, you know, we're excited to come home. But the one thing that we've really noticed about the past is that we start to kind of start to feel crabby or anxious and we really fall behind. You know, we have health goals and we start to feel bad. So then we relate like feeling bad to the experience of going home. And that's not what we want at all. So here's some of the things that we just want to kind of ask for and let you know that we're gonna do in order to be our best, in order to feel our best, in order to be fully present with you from this time to this time. And so we started to say, hey, you know, from 1:00pm or 2:00pm on, like, we are all yours. We'll be fully present, whatever you want to do, whatever that looks like. But up until that time, we need it for our walks, we need it for our workouts, we need it for catch up time. We want a healthy breakfast, whatever that looks like. And it was pretty well received. Now, of course, there's going to be days where maybe you're starting a festivity earlier or you know, maybe there's a day, whatever that looks like, it's starting early in the morning and you need to be a part of it. Great. You're not saying you won't be flexible. You're just saying overall, these are the things that you would love to ask for. You're setting up the expectation so it's not weird that you go and do it. You're not excluding anyone. They know why you're doing it. They know that it's so that you feel good and you feel present and you don't feel stressed out. And yes, they still may comment, they still may say something like, well, gee, I wish you, you know, you had a job where, you know, you could take off more time or wow, it's. I just wish we could be a little more present with you the whole time that you're here. That's okay. It's okay if they say that. You don't have to let it stick to you. You don't have to take the bait, you don't have to respond, you don't have to let it trigger you. You can just know that this is sometimes what parents do, what siblings do, what family does. Let it be okay and know that this relationship is worth preserving and just letting that slide off you. Right? Like be Teflon. During the holidays, the next thing that really helped us, asking if we could play with some new traditions. So at holiday time, at Christmas time, it always felt kind of stressful to run around and get all of these gifts because there was just this pressure on so many presents and getting the right gift and just we found it to be a lot more stressful than fun. And so it's, we said, you know, why are we doing this thing that stresses us out? Just because it's always been done this way. What if we had a conversation around like, hey, can we just try this on for this year? Can we just try this? If we don't like it, we don't have to do it again. And so around gifting, we said, what would it look like if instead of having to buy gifts for everybody and everyone's stressed and financially this isn't great for some people in our family? Like, what if we just did White Elephant and bought one gift per person and set a spending limit on it and made it a really fun game and instead of spending all that money on gifts, we went and created experiences instead. If somebody really wants to do something else, we can put some more money towards family ice skating or a ski trip or, you know, maybe there's some fun events going on in your town that you go and. And you do that instead. And this was one of the most like life changing experiences. We've done this for the past. I don't even know, maybe it's been eight years now. But instead of running around and worrying about so many gifts, now we've changed some of those traditions and it's been incredible. It's been amazing. So if something's not working for you, all you have to do is have a conversation around it. And the third thing was that we noticed if you get a bunch of adults together and you don't create a plan or things to do, it's not a very good formula for sitting around and drinking and talking about things that maybe you don't necessarily want to talk about, or politics coming up or what, you know, different belief systems. It's so amazing to have games planned, have different festivities planned, have different things that you want to do plan, and different traditions planned. So we try to make actual plans to keep us busy during the holidays. So one thing that we love to do is an ornament tradition where we all buy like each person gets one white ornament. You can find these on Amazon. You can find these at, you know, I think I found them at Pottery Barn one year. You take a black Sharpie, you write your name on the bottom of that ornament, and you, you all sit around a table and you pass it to the right. Then what you do is you write a word about that person, whoever's name it is that you have, and you write something nice. You can write a powerful word about them. You can go on to elaborate why you picked that word, and then you pass it to the right. And what happens is at the end of this, everybody has these beautiful words on their ornaments. And it's really fun to go around from person to person. You take about a minute to two min and each person says why they wrote that word on that ornament. Then you get to go put them on the tree. You have this lovely tradition. This can take from one to two hours. It's just such a beautiful sentiment and a beautiful way to open up communication and create new tradition. So challenge your traditions. Challenge what you're doing. You guys try one or try all three of these and let me know what you think. I'm so grateful for you. And until next time, earn your happy. Bye, everyone.