Break the NEGATIVE PATTERNS That Hold You DOWN! | Lori Harder
Lori Harder argues that productivity failures come from disbelief, not lack of discipline. If you truly believed the gym would work, you'd go. She cites Steven Pressfield on resistance to your creative calling and frames time management as breaking old patterns to live intentionally.
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Time management for me is actually one of my biggest struggles. You know, success leaves clues. And I think the coolest thing about having all of these different teachers on here is that you see a common theme. The reason that I love this so much, all of the common themes, is because these are the formulas that people have figured out that works. That's a pretty cool thing, right? Like, if you can understand that these formulas work, what is the likelihood that you're actually going to do the formula? It's a lot higher. Right. My friend and I were chatting the other day. I was talking about some of the things that I want to be doing, and I'm like, man, I just feel like it's a discipline problem that I need to hone in on a little bit more. And she was saying, you know, I was just listening to a Joe Dispenza podcast the other day, and I don't know if it's discipline. She said, if you knew that the things that. That you wanted to be doing that you were avoiding would actually get you the result that you wanted, if you knew they would work, if you had the belief, if you really believed that they would work, would you show up for those things? Absolutely, I would show up. Raise your hand. If you knew that going to the gym three times a week would get you the body that you wanted in a year, would you actually start showing up? Raise your hand. Okay, cool. Then it's not a matter of discipline. Right. It's a matter of belief, because you just told me that you would show up if you really believed it would happen. So, for example, right now I'm working really, really hard on growing my social media and growing just my. My presence out in the world, mostly just kind of that social presence. And the reason that I'm doing that is because when you launch a product or when you launch books, it's never really a product problem, or it's never really like, you know, maybe something that you're the. Let's just say the course that you're working on or the thing that you want to launch into the world. Yes. You have to make sure those things are good. But it's usually an audience problem, Right. It's usually that you need to get it in front of more people. You need more people to know, like, and trust you. So right now I'm working really hard on just really building up a social media presence even more. And you'll be like, okay, I feel like you're already doing this. Yes. And I've always had a little bit of Trouble being consistent and really finding the lane that I love to talk about. I've been working really hard on doing that, and I find that I struggle with wanting to show up to those days of creativity, and I struggle with wanting to show up on the filming days. And I had a moment of, if I really believed that doing these things would work, if I really believed that in one year, if I just show up consistently, my audience will grow, people will start seeing me as the expert. People will start knowing, liking, and trusting me, right Then I would show up to these things. So I was like, I actually don't have a discipline problem. I have a belief problem in thinking that this will work. And so what I've been doing is saying, I know that if I do the work, I'm going to get better and better. I know I'm going to find my zone of genius, and I know this is going to work. Because what I have learned throughout my life is that no consistent work goes without a result. We typically just end before the result. So if there's something in your mind that you're thinking right now, before we go into this whole time management discussion, I first want to bust that block that maybe it's not a time management or discipline problem, but maybe it's a belief problem. Maybe it's a belief problem. And whenever you find resistance around that thing, maybe say, what if I really worked on my belief around this. What if instead of being like, I don't want to do it? You said, if I really believed this and I worked on believing it and I created a mantra around it that I believe it, maybe that is going to work. And I want to take out the maybe it's going to work, you guys. So I don't want you to get overwhelmed. I want us to find the one thing. Because what I need you to know about me is that I have an attention problem. I have a. Like, I have trouble sitting. I want to be moving. I want to be doing other things. I like when it comes time to do the things that are most important to my soul's evolution. Do you know what I would rather be doing? Like, that I would normally never rather be doing is unloading the dishwasher or cleaning the house, because I am the queen of distraction. So let's just make it really clear that I am in the same exact seats as you all are right now. We are all human. Time is the great equalizer. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, we all have the same 24 hours as Oprah and Beyonce which is sometimes hard for me to grasp. All right, so let's talk about time management. So time, first of all, is the great equalizer. And most of us have two lives. This is Steven Pressfield. If you guys have not read the War of Art, that is a book that dramatically changed my life. It's called the War of Art by Steven Pressfield, and it talks about resistance around the things that we want to be doing in our lives. So he says that most of us have two lives. The life we live and the unlived life within us. And between that stands resistance. So I'm looking at all of you, all of your beautiful faces right now on this zoom. And what I can see is that all of you have this big life and this big purpose that you are meant to be living. Every single one of you. That's why you're here. It's in the forefront of your brain. You know you want to be doing it. But in between that life stands. All of these things stands. Family stands. Relationships stands. Old stories stands, old beliefs stands. Oh, my goodness. Just all of the things that come up in life that we're just reacting to instead of approaching it differently. Right. Because I don't know about you, but boundaries and time management were not modeled for me growing up. Raise your hand if you did not see a model of these things growing up and maybe the things that you saw, for the most part, yes, I did see some things, but for the most part, I think that, you know, life was a little less intentional 20 years ago, 50 years ago, as far as, hey, you've got these dreams inside of you. It was more like survival mode. Right? Or go work for someone and just create a life and just live in survival mode. And that's kind of what majority of us may have seen modeled. So now what we have to do is we are breaking patterns around who we were. That's what time management is. That's it. We are literally breaking patterns and learning how to live more intentionally and creating these intentional pockets in our day. So Steven Pressfield says, this is one of my favorite quotes of all time. The more important a call to action is to our soul's evolution, the more resistance we will feel around answering it. I'm going to say it again. The more important a call to action is to our soul's evolution, the more resistance we'll feel around answering it. So if you're feeling a lot of resistance around something, if you're really fearful of something right now that, you know, needs to get scheduled, or if you're allowing things in your schedule to keep kicking out the most important thing in your schedule, it's because those things are the things that you need the most right now. So what I'm doing is I'm. I'm trying right now to attach you so closely to the big vision, and the things that you need to do the most are the things that you're probably feeling are the biggest challenge. And for me, right now, I've had a lot of favorite topics, but I think this one might be my favorite, because time management is your actual life. It is the life that you live every single day. And life is not like an equation of days looped together, to be quite honest with you. Life is the life you're choosing today, and then it's the life that you choose tomorrow. Because someone is waking up today. And I don't mean to be morbid, but I actually think the more that we are close to our mortality, the happier that we are and the more that we live. But someone is waking up today, and it is their last day today. Somebody in the world is waking up today, and it is their last day today. And so when we start living knowing that there is an urgency to life, there is an urgency to the reasons that we're going to say no to things, right? And I believe that the things that you say no to are more important than the things you say yes to. A lot of us are very afraid to say no.
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