Lori HarderFounder of glōci | Bestselling Author

How Codependency Shows Up in Women

29 Apr 2026 · 1 min

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In this monologue, the speaker (Lori Harder) introduces a contemporary form of codependency that she labels “HFC” (Hyper‑Focused Codependency) and explains how it uniquely manifests in many women. She describes HFC as an excessive emotional investment in the feelings, outcomes, finances, careers, and circumstances of the people around them—empaths, lovers, friends, daughters, aunties, etc.—to the point where personal inner peace is sacrificed. The speaker differentiates genuine caring (wanting others to be happy) from the pathological sense of responsibility (“I feel responsible for you getting what you want, I feel responsible for how you feel”). By illustrating this shift from supportive desire to personal accountability for another’s emotional state, she highlights the subtle but damaging nature of modern female codependency.

Chapters

there's a different flavor of codependency for modern women. And I knew it so well because it was my own flavor. It was what I had experienced in my life, which is you being overly invested in the feeling states, the outcomes, the circumstances, the finances, the situations, the careers of the people in your life, to the detriment of your own internal peace. So what does that mean? It means as Women, as empaths, as lovers, as friends, as daughters, as aunties, as all the things. Of course, we are invested in our people being happy. We love them. We want them to get what they want in lives, you know? I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about when you're an HFC, as we call it, it's more than that. We go from, "I want you to get what you want, Lori," to, "I feel responsible for you getting what you want, Lori. I feel responsible for how you feel."