How to Create Bigger Opportunities Through Community & Podcasting with Natalie Ellis

I still to this day am challenged by anxiety. Like, I feel it's fully in my body right now, like, but I'm still up here. This is something that has been my entire life. And when people are like, does it go away? It hasn't. So I wish I could tell you that it has, but do you know what I've done? I have so much self-trust that I'm gonna do it anyway. I have so much self-confidence that I have shown up 2 to 4 times a week. I have so much evidence that I'm gonna be okay and I'm gonna figure it out. Even though I truly sometimes say to God, I'm like, why did you plague me with this? Like, do you know what I'd be doing without it? And then I get this answer back. It's like, no, you could never talk to the women the way you're supposed to if you didn't have it. All right.

I'm gonna ask you a few questions.

We're like switching gears.

Before I start crying.

We love the tears.

10 years of Earn Your Happy. 10 years of podcasting. To do the same thing for a decade is no small feat at all. That takes an enormous amount of discipline. And I'm gonna guess there have been more than a few moments where you've wanted to throw in the towel. I'm gonna guess there's been more than a few moments when you've thought, no one's listening to this, I'm not doing it anymore. And you kept doing it, and you've done it to a magnitude that most of us couldn't comprehend. 3 to 4 times a week, you have done this with discipline for a decade. The most consistent person that I know. What within you has kept you going this consistently for this long?

Oh, you are so right when you say it has been the, the most wild journey of, you know, there are so many days that I do not want to do it, especially like the first 3 years, honestly. And when you hear this, I want you to understand It wasn't like, oh, it was the first month was hard. It was like, no, the first 3, the first 4 years. And you have days where you're crying all day, or you feel terrible, or you feel like you have nothing good to say. Like, literally, you turn the mic on and you're like, oh God, Mom, Mom. How do I even start any topic whatsoever? And so, you know, I will say that the consistency came because From the beginning, I decided to adopt an attitude that no matter what happened with this podcast, it was my personal development journey. And I knew that if I could show— like, if it taught me to show up 2 to 4 times a week, what else could I do in my life? I knew that if I could talk 2 to 4 times a week on a podcast, what could I not do in public? And one of the reasons that I wanted to take this challenge on is because I still to this day am challenged by anxiety. Like, I feel it's fully in my body right now, like, but I'm still up here. So like, I get butterflies. Sometimes I'll have moments even while I'm up here where I'm like, okay, just breathe. You were holding your breath. That's why you feel like you're gonna pass out. Okay, just keep breathing. And so this is something that has been my entire life. And when people are like, does it go away? It hasn't. So I wish I could tell you that it has, but do you know what I've done?

What?

I have so much self-trust that I'm going to do it anyway. I have so much self-confidence that I have shown up 2 to 4 times a week. I have so much evidence that I'm going to be okay and I'm going to figure it out because I made that promise to show up on the podcast. And so even though I truly sometimes say to God, I'm like, why did you plague me with this? Like, do you know what I'd be doing without it? And then I get this answer back. It's like, no, you could never talk to the women the way you're supposed to if you didn't have it. Like, it would be too easy. I'd be like, yeah, this is so great. Oh my God, I can't believe that you're nervous about getting up there. I'm like, no, every goddamn time. I'm like, please. I'm like so nervous. We were just back there. And so I think the thing about being consistent with the podcast is truly, I was like, I'm gonna commit to this. I'm gonna learn from it. I'm gonna see what it teaches me. I want to get to know people. I want to, you know, get into communities that I wouldn't normally have access to. And I just really viewed it as the path, and I treated it that way. I was like, okay, I have trouble being consistent with a lot of stuff in my life, you guys, which might be shocking after hearing that. But I've pivoted more times than probably most people that you know. But that's the one consistent that I said, this is going to be the thing that teaches I love this so much.

And I feel like one of the themes that's just coming up that we're talking about is the power of building and having a community. And as women, that's what we've always done since the beginning of time. Not that I was there, but that's what I hear we've always done. We've always built community. We are so much happier when we are around other women. We are so much happier talking to other women. It's so incredibly important, and building a community, I think, now is one of the best things we can do, yes, for ourselves, but also to be able to live out our dreams. When we have big dreams, if you have built a community around your mission, it allows you to go and do so many big things. Like you said, you've pivoted in so many ways, but always held really consistent with this one thing.

Mm-hmm.

And I'm curious, speaking of that, Through having a podcast and growing it in the way you have, what has it given you? What are the things it's given you that you could never have predicted when you first started it?

Oh my God, and I know you know this, but what has it not given me? And that is the only statement that I can tell you is it's brought me things that I can't even fathom. Like, I actually want to cry sitting and thinking about the women that I've connected with through here, or through the podcast. Like, how many of you have found me through my podcast, or knew about it, or have been on it? Like, I'm just looking out, and the number The number of connections that I have gotten to make, the amount of things that I have gotten to learn, I can say probably 70% of my friends have come through podcasting or deepened through podcasting. One of the coolest things that it's done is that when I go out in the world, let's say I was just meeting Natalie for the first time, and I'm like, ooh, I really like her. Like, what is some value that I could give to her? And how can I also kind of get to know her better, drop into her world? It's the power of having a platform and going, oh, Natalie, like, I loved this conversation with you. I would love to have you on the podcast and push your stuff out to my community. Like, whatever you're selling, I would love to share it, hopefully introduce a new community to you. That has been probably my most powerful calling card of anything I've ever experienced, is to be able to have a place for those relationships to go. Do you know what I mean? Where you're like, oh, I really like them, now what? And so that is a way that I've utilized the podcast, but it has come relationships, It's allowed me to launch or to pivot in many different ways. And I love, I mean, I'm a builder. I'll always build. I'll always have something that I wanna build, whether it's an online product, a physical product, a, you know, I get all of these different ideas. And the thing that the podcast has allowed is to truly have that audience that it's like, okay, we're gonna test it. We're gonna put it out to this audience and see. We're gonna be sharing this. And the best part is, how many of you know that when you are, you know, when you're about to launch something, The thing that you are always told to do is to start talking about it, right? Start taking people on the journey. And so I'm a little— I can be a little long-winded. You can ask my husband. And so for me, a podcast was a really beautiful place to, even if I had an idea or I wanted to see how something felt in my body, or I wanted to be like, let me just start talking about this. Like, it doesn't feel like me yet. It feels like people will think I'm a little bit of a fraud or it's not my identity. You know what I'm talking about when you're pivoting? And you're like, oh God, this feels like out of left field to go do a totally different social post. The podcast has been like this playground for me of, I'm just going to put out a podcast about this thing and see how it feels. And sometimes it feels really terrible in my body and I'm like, never mind, we're not doing that. Or it's like, oh, I really started to riff on it. Like, I really see myself talking about this. I love it. And by the way, I do want to share throughout this, like, you don't have to have a podcast to do this. You can go on podcasts.

And try this.

So you don't have to go and think you have to start a podcast. You can absolutely go and do that. But I have gotten investors for things. I've literally gotten business partners. I've gotten best friends. I've been able to just experience a different version of myself. So I can almost trace like every big relationship and moment back to a podcast, which I have like 1,600 episodes. So that seems accurate. Wow.

And I want to come back to that guesting on podcasts, because that part's really interesting. But I've been blessed to know you for almost 10 years now, and I remember one of our first interactions. We'd been online friends, and then I told you I was moving to LA, and your first reaction was, great, does this date work for you? I'm going to bring you a ton of women you should know, and introduce me. And you've always been that woman who has being such a great connector. And one thing I really admire about you, which everyone who knows Lori in this room will know this is true, I have never in the entire time I've known you heard you speak from a place of scarcity as it pertains to another woman and what she's doing. You truly believe and embody what it looks like to know that there is enough space for all of us, always. And I'm really curious, what mindset Do you— have you, have you had to shift anything? And what mindset do you embody to really live that? Because you live it. It's not just something you say, you live it.

This is such a good question because, you know, it's, it's really easy for me to feel jealous of people.

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I wish I had what she has. Or honestly, I get really jealous of skill sets. Who gets that? I'm like, if I just knew how to do that, I could like integrate this and put this idea out. A true ideator here. I'm like, if I just knew that skill set, I could put this new idea out. Um, so, you know, one of the things that has really helped me is to understand that when you get another woman in your life who is amazing, that you absolutely love, you actually get her skill set in your life. So when you can deeply grasp that if you have someone that you, you know, really look up to or who's stunningly beautiful, amazing with fashion, guess what? If you weren't, ask her about her necklace. Have her dress you. Have her help you out. Having all of these incredible women in your life gives you the— you are now surrounded by all the skill sets that you want. And so when I start thinking of, you know, not being jealous of women and also having friends, my friend Lindsay Sikornik told me the best story that actually this is where this kind of all pivoted for me years and years ago. And she said, you know, when it comes to friends, 'cause she had like the most eclectic group, I was like, mm, like, I'm not sure I wanna hang out with some of your friends 'cause they're just, they're, I don't know, they're different, you know? I feel like we're gonna get along.

That's all.

Like, you go do your thing. And she's like, well, I collect people. And I was like, okay, tell me more. Collecting people. This is interesting. Take me somewhere. And she said, you know, I'm not great with fashion. And she was a yogi, like, through and through, and just very, like, deep wisdom, like a little Buddha. And she said, I'm terrible with fashion, and I really wanna— like, I wanna look cute. I wanna look great. And there's this woman that I couldn't And she'd show up in the parent pickup line and it'd be like 6:30 in the morning and she'd look hot, like head to toe, just everything is perfect and looks great. And she was like, I was hating on her, jealous of her, like, what are you trying to prove? And then she was like, wait a minute, she could really help me look hot. And so she had a moment that not everybody is going to be exactly who you— they're not gonna be exactly like you. And so when we start to realize that everybody needs to play a role in your life, then you can start letting people play the role they're meant to play instead of going, you're not really for me. Like, you're into yoga, I'm not. Okay, well, let them play that role, but also figure out, like, look for the gold in people, because that's what's changed my life, is whenever I meet a woman or whenever I'm jealous or whatever it is, I'm like, she has something to offer me and I have something to offer her. And so it makes me stay in a conversation a little bit longer. Because normally it's like, what do we do in these rooms? We go to people who look either like us, no joke, right, that look like our twin, or we go to people who look approachable or comfortable. And so if we all did the most crazy experiment today where you went up to someone that you wouldn't normally go up to, I guarantee you'd get an answer that you've been waiting on for a long time. Because God does this thing where he buries treasure in people who you would We never think it's there, and so we walk by it every day. And so when I think of people and women and opportunities, they are everywhere. Like, they're, they're at the coffee shop, they're at the cashier, they're at the person sitting at the table next to you. And so, you know, in terms of people in general, I think that's just how I view people.

I love this so much. And so coming back to podcasting, I'm very curious, for anyone in the room who has a podcast, is looking to start one, or wants to be on more shows. What have you really learned about being in the game? Because there's a lot of rules to the game that are kind of gatekept. What have you learned?

Oh gosh, there's so many gatekept ones especially. Um, I think some of the, some of the things that like once you get into the industry too, you're like, wow, a lot of the top 25 spots are paid. So even if you were in the top 25, you're probably getting kicked out by the paid spots. Um, there's a lot of eye-opening things like that that you actually can't get caught up on. And you have to just say, nope, I'm in it because I love it. I'm in it because it's offering me so much value. And I think that the biggest pieces of podcasting and like what you have to know is it's got to be good content. It's just literally got to be good content that you're putting out. Meaning if people want to— people aren't going to share content that isn't great. And so if we're looking at the algorithm of a podcast, It's really brutal because there really isn't one. Unless you have a great YouTube team putting you on YouTube, unless you have a great social media, unless you have a team that's really focusing on getting your content out. It's kind of like Instagram. If you don't get a focused strategic plan of how you wanna get out there, you're probably not gonna grow in a really big way. You know, I do think that a big part of podcasting is getting more well-known guests on sometimes, but it doesn't have to be all the time. And I meet a lot of people who chase a lot of shiny guests. And that doesn't always work either. And I've met so many people who just have conversations with their friends all day, and that works. And so I think it's, it's kind of like finding what fits for you and deciding if it's something that you want to go all in on. Because especially at this point in the game, I think that there is a lot of podcasts out there. You have to really be committed to a podcast if that's the way that you want to grow. And nowadays you kind of do have to put a lot of energy and some money behind it to grow. But what I want to really talk about right now is the power of how many people are starting podcasts and the power of being a professional guest on a podcast. So some of you might be thinking, oh my gosh, Lori just told me all the reasons I should start a podcast. Like, I'm feeling FOMO. I should really have one. Who's feeling that just a little bit? Okay, I mean, I feel that whenever people talk about anything. So truly, who, who feels that like, oh, maybe I should have Podcast. Okay, so in a world where it is a little bit of an uphill to start a podcast, to get out there and, you know, then put it on your social media, and if your social media is not growing, let me tell you, podcast, um, reels and clips don't really do that great. So if that's the way that you think you're going to grow, it's going to be an uphill challenge. Now, podcast guesting in a world where everyone is starting a podcast and where everybody is paying to have a podcast, Guess how many of them all need gas every single week?

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Would you rather pay for a platform or consistently understand how to borrow a platform over and over again? You guys, it's like if Instagram had to have guests, if she had to have guests every day on Boss Babe, like, wouldn't you be applying to be a guest all of the time? All of the time. All of the time. If it was like Natalie was like, I need a new guest. Oh my God, this is a hungry baby. I have to do another interview. I have to do 2 interviews a week. I have to do 3 a week. And something that I'm really learning about interviewing, and Natalie, I know you know this, with the sheer volume of— Pitches that I see, 99% are terrible, terrible. And then when they come on, nobody knows how to tell a story, nobody knows how to bring me through a beautiful storytelling sales funnel, and nobody knows how to give a call to action that captures my audience into their email. I am like astounded by the amount of people who come on and waste an opportunity in front of hundreds of thousands of hungry people who I've already sold, I've already made millions through, so it's an audience of buyers that come on. And do you know what they say to me? This is, we've decided this is the worst thing you could ever say to a podcast guest, and it's gonna be opposite of what you think. I say, okay, so what would you like to talk about? Like, how can we make sure that we really promote you? And they go, I'm just here to serve your audience. And I'm like, oh man. Because here's why that doesn't serve my audience. If you are profoundly amazing at talking about the psychology of marriage, let's talk about like really dialing in like a relationship, right? Like having the best marriage of your life. And maybe I saw some content you put out recently and read some other things, and it's about something else. But your zone of genius is not the something else that I'm about to do an hour of podcasting on. Now all of a sudden, you're not even in your zone of genius. You're not giving me the good parts of you. You're not even giving me a good story because you left it all in my hands. to try to guess exactly what I should ask you about to drop you right into the center of your zone of genius and give me all the great things that you know. And so I think that, you know, one of the things that I'm gonna be chatting more on and actually doing an offer on is truly like getting you to all understand I need better guests. Like, I need you to be a better guest. And so I think there's just such a gap in getting people to learn how to storytell and bring them through It's almost like a life funnel. It's truly a— you're learning how to do a podcast funnel as a guest and bring me through the story all the way to the bottom, but keep me interested throughout to that call of action, which is really, really exciting for me. And because I've been in it for 10 years and I've heard— I mean, that's 1,600 conversations. That's a lot.

Signing up. I just want to echo that, because it just— when you were talking, it took me back to the very early days of my podcast. And I had Mel Robbins on there way before, um, she started her own podcast. And the way that she took podcast guesting was mind-blowing.

Mind-blowing.

So she sent me a podcast pack ahead of time, and it had all of the hooks that work really well for her, all of the stories that she's very well-versed in telling, and she had a recommendation what would land for my audience, right? She was prepared. She gave me a stack of notes. She told me what time she'd arrive, what time she would leave, what we had to really cover. And again, this was, this was a long time ago. This was way before she really leapt into the zeitgeist. And we weren't getting huge traction back then. We had our current audience, but like Lori's saying, that's not really enough to get your podcast out there. And I read this press packet, made my life as a just very easy, and I'm still like learning how to interview. And I asked her the one question she told me to ask in the way she told me to ask it, and then I titled the episode in the way in which she told me to do it. That one clip blew up single-handedly my YouTube, my podcast, my social media. It went so mega viral. I think that one video alone brought in 15,000 subscribers on YouTube. It was mind-blowing. And that was all because she knew how to be a guest. And that's always, always stuck with me, but I haven't put the two and two together since you said that, so I absolutely love that. Okay, tell me, what are you most excited about right now?

Oh my gosh, I think I'm kind of like you where I'm like, my God, I actually have a life where I get to do these things that I love every single day, which is so awesome. I'm actually very excited about that. I can't wait to teach people how to be a guest. I'm coming up with something right now because that's one of my biggest struggles is good guests. And I think when you have that much volume and in a world of podcasts going up, like, it's insane. Everybody has a literal podcast, everyone. I really, really want to teach people the power of exactly that, going on and making the podcaster's life easy. But then also, you guys, the money that is in that is staggering when you do it right. Like, I can't even imagine what audience that brought to Mel, for sure. Now, there's been people that have gone on her podcast and no one has ever gone to the guest that's on because they didn't have any of that. I guarantee majority of those listeners went and got in her funnel and purchased something from her. And so I'm very, very excited about that. Always so excited about Glossier and getting to do those things with you. And I'm excited about— we actually also became a part of a peptide company, so I'm excited about that.

I love this. Hit me up when I stop breastfeeding.