​​How to Dress for Success in Business with Chellie Carlson

The more your wardrobe is aligned with you and who you are authentically, that's when the magnetism happens.

It doesn't matter what body shape, it doesn't matter how much money she spent.

No, has nothing to do with that.

The one who has put effort into her stuff. Yep.

And energy.

Yep.

Everyone is around her.

This is what I do for my clients. I take them from feeling fine to just magnetic. And everyone deserves to find that.

Shelley, welcome to the podcast.

What's going on, Shelley?

Oh, I mean, this is a dream come true. Oh, likewise. It's our style dream come true. Such an honor.

We're so excited to have you. So for those of you listening, you are on the Chris Harder Show because Chris is also interviewing you with me, and we'll talk a little bit about why. And you're also on the Earn Your Happy podcast. So this is super fun because we both have a different tie to you, um, which for Chris is the mastermind, and he can kind of talk about how he's worked with you in that modality in his mastermind. And then for me, I got the honor of, first of all, getting to know you as a person and a friend. And also, let me just tell you, your name for when I go travel to different events and meet different people— I swear you're like the top 2 people that always come up.

No, it's true, because they ask about her clothes.

I just love her. Oh my God. Like, I Oh, you know Shelley? And I'm like, that speaks so much to your reputation of not even really what you do, and that's something so incredible that you do, but who you are and how you make people feel. So I'm so excited to be interviewing you today all about, you know, everything from, um, what signature style means, what your method is, and why you got into that, and personal development, and how every, you know, style ties to your worth, and so many different things. So, um, I'm just going to share a little bit about how I got to work with you And then Chris, you can, you can chat on yours. But, you know, I got to do your, like, signature full method. Well, we kind of did it. We did a little bit of a smaller version because I was busy. But I will tell you that it was, it was probably one of the most stretching experiences of my life, honestly.

It really was like emotional.

It was extremely emotional. And I really understood, like, I started to really understand what other women are dealing with when they are, you know, trying to step into finding their style and feeling confident out in the world. Because I thought I was pretty okay and I still felt extremely stretched. And it really made me think a lot and it helped me a lot too, to— I need a little more time to get dressed is what I've learned. I need a bigger closet, which I'm working on right now this week.

So literally why we sold the house so she could get a bigger closet. I'm not kidding.

I can't see my clothes.

I can't see my clothes.

What percentage of the decision of selling the house was that?

I mean, it was a very large percentage because I actually can't see any of my clothes when I go get ready.

So I blame you.

You can't see it. You're not going to wear it.

You can't see it. You can't be it. So. All right, here's how I value that, right?

So you came into the mastermind and we start working together in a business capacity, and then you became a friend and we got to meet every single month. We got— I got to see you grow, right? And I got to see not just you change as a person, but change as a business. And then here's the best part. I got to see how you interacted with the other people in the mastermind and friends of people in the mastermind. And like Lori said, we can't go anywhere without people saying, hey, we know that you know Shelley, she's the best, she's changed my life. Or like, people put you on a pedestal because of how you make them feel. And I'm going to take that a step further. I think you give them hope. I think that, you know, when they get dressed in the morning and they feel a lack of confidence, I think even if they haven't signed up for your program yet, people like you out there give them hope that somebody can make it easier for them. And we're going to talk about that and the psychology behind that and all that fun stuff today.

Okay. Well, welcome.

I mean, that's— well, that's a big intro. Thank you.

Yes. So you have the Magnetic Style Method where I want to— I want to go back first to where did that start? What even got you into style? What was your personal moment of this means a lot to me. This is who I wanna be.

Yeah, I mean, so I grew up on a farm in Missouri.

Mm-hmm.

Which is not a lot of fashion. Yeah.

So the opposite of where you are right now.

Right, exactly. And then I got a fashion degree in Missouri. Wow.

There's a saying she never thought could be there.

What does that teach you?

This is teaching. Overalls and Carhartts.

Exactly.

Sorry, Missouri people. Don't cancel us.

Anyone out there that it doesn't matter what your degree is or where you got it. You can do whatever you want to do. So I got this degree, moved to Chicago. I worked for a lingerie brand for over 20 years. So fashion has always been in my blood since I was young. I've always had it. I've always been able to express myself. And I love fabrics. I love— I've been sewing since I was 15, so I love construction. The fabric store is one of my favorite places. I love to feel the fabrics. I love the energetics of fabrics and I know the power of beautiful things on your body. So I worked for this lingerie brand for 20 years. I had no idea. I found it on Craigslist. I had no idea I would be with them for 20 years. Wow. What I learned is every woman I would meet, the moment they would, one of my roles was working one-on-one with women in the fitting rooms. They would walk in the fitting room, instant they met me, they felt safe, they felt comfortable. They literally, had to get naked in front of me. Everything was, I'm like a doctor, I need to see everything. And once I put them in the best fitting bra for them, they would feel, they would cry, they would hug me. They like, "Shelley, I feel so much different." And it changed their posture, their energy, their clothes fit differently. I think it's the quickest way to look taller, longer, leaner is with the right bra. And there's so much shame around the breast area. You know, my full-busted women want to be smaller. My smaller ones want to be fuller. And so my job was to really understand and meet them where they're at and get them in the best fitting bra. And then women would say to me, what you just did for my bras, I need you to do for my whole wardrobe. Yes. And so then I started side hustling. So I built a website, business cards, and I would literally just pass them out. I built up a clientele to where I started making more money side hustling than I did in my retail job, which I made no money in, but I loved it. And I had flexibility. And then 2 weeks before COVID hit, I, we had mutual termination. I founded. Wow. It was like, I can do this on my own. And it was perfect timing. You know, COVID, I got to then go, I wouldn't have been ready to handle what I have built now. So I got to hire some more coaches. I got to, you know, we were locked up for so long. I got to focus more on my personal development, my spiritual path, and go deep within myself. And then I invested in myself. I hired my first coach who helped me create my 3-step methodology that I still use today. And that's how it began. And it just keeps getting better and better and better.

Can I share with the audience before you jump in just how far she's come, how quickly? You said that was right before COVID So this is like 4 and a half, maybe 5 years ago max. You're now the highest paid stylist in the US.

Yes.

Now, for those of you listening, don't freak out. She also has her membership, which is affordable for everybody and is super awesome. But for those true one-on-one people, you've gone from starting on a whim because, well, we're shutting down, might as well do something, to being the highest paid stylist in the country. That is such an accomplishment. And everybody listening, people should, if they're like on the fence about starting something, should realize how quick that journey can happen. Now, it's 4 to 5 years, probably didn't feel quick, but at the same time, it goes by quick.

Exactly. And I found it at the age of 40. I love this.

So that's cool.

All of my ladies out there—

wait, I thought you were 29.

Right, exactly. I found it at 40, and it's never too late. And I feel like I've just begun, and I'm I'm just so— there's, there's so much potential for anyone, no matter what age you are, to do what lights you up.

And it's inspiring.

Thank you.

Okay, so I want to hear, because what I just heard in that story is you went from, you know, not having a business to founding a business to then being the highest paid stylist. The journey of your worth and having to ask for what—

oh boy—

you wanted, because where did this come from? You were like, this is just what I want. I want to be the highest paid stylist. Obviously we know when we say that for anybody listening, there's a transformation that happens even when you say that within yourself, because you feel yourself having to rise to the level of what you're asking for, which can feel like a huge gap. So tell me about that journey from like zero to what— who did you have to become? What did you have to break? What beliefs did you have to break?

Major discomfort. So I was in scarcity for most of my life. You know, I'm— I was a in this retail job, I still remember my father saying to me month after month, you deserve more than this. You're better than this. You know, he's an entrepreneur. He's like, you know, what are you doing? And now I understand where it was coming from. But I lived in, you know, actually lived in a mold-filled apartment for 17 years. And I haven't really shared that with anybody, but it was a gift. That was my level of self-worth. It was all I could afford. And that was when I moved out in 2022 when I could afford to. And then I've had quantum leaps from that. But when I first founded and I started charging, I stopped charging hourly and I only charged for this package. What I charged for that package at the time, I thought there's no chance anyone's gonna pay $2,500 for this package.

To me, that was the first one. Yes.

$2,500 in 2021 is what I charged.

Wow.

And it's so much work. Like, what you do is so much work.

But in my mind, $2,500 was a huge amount of money. And now I've had to shift every day I do the work, you know, by listening to your podcast, by being in the rooms and growing. I've expanded. I've— my thermostat is at a whole nother level, but it's daily practice. And so every, every time I would invest more money into myself, I then was able to charge more. So my value and my self-worth kept rising and I just kept— my rate would go up and the value went up because I did the work, I did the coaching, I've done the spiritual work, the plant medicine work, I've done all of it and it all You know, I pour that into my clients through the energetics and through their transformation. And it's, it's priceless.

You did something even more bold in addition to doing the work. That is, you moved from Missouri to Chicago, established an awesome following in Chicago, like you were running that town. And from a style standpoint.

Yeah.

And you could have stayed there and things were really good.

Yeah.

But you wanted the best.

I wanted more.

And you wanted like your environment to really support you. So you literally walked away from the best squad ever in one of the coolest cities ever and moved out to LA almost— I don't want to say on a whim—

with not one client booked.

Not one client booked.

Not one client booked.

Because you wanted to be in the environment that would support your highest goals the most. Talk about that, because it had to be scary.

Exactly. It, it was, but it wasn't. I knew I had— I was I knew, I was certain it would be exactly— I've been wanting to go out west. I had the calling for years. I could never afford to do it. I had the— I was able to rent a home. I wanted this beautiful home and I was like, this is my home. If you build it, they will come. And I ended up in August having my first 6-figure month, my biggest month of my career because every client in Chicago booked me for the fall.

Wow.

Wow. They were all on board with working with me. And then I hired a whole new team in LA. And then, you know, I still have, you know, my number one is with me 2 years now.

Yeah.

And so it all just— and my community is everything in LA now. And everyone says, you know, LA's tough, you know, LA's not easy on a lot of people. And the moment I got there, I relied on You know, who do you know? Who's, who could be a new girlfriend for me or potential client? You know, I'm new to LA and I just now, you know, like even last night I hosted a, my, my, one of my dear friends, Danielle Page, lost her home and I hosted a dinner with, I mean, there was 30 people and, and I'm hosting and I'm creating my own community. And this is what I've learned from you guys. You know, I'm going to be the aggregator and I'm creating something that I don't have. So with my network. Yes.

So you've kind of always done that, offered value.

Yeah.

Because that's a huge question for people like, okay, where do I get the clients?

Right.

That's the big question. They're like, okay, maybe I could charge that. Maybe I, you know, could do what she's saying. But tell me a little bit more about creating that container. Yeah, creating the container, finding the people. Like, how does that naturally kind of happen for you that, yeah, you know, the containers that you create First, talk on that, but then how do they become clients?

Yeah, well, first of all, I'm very lucky because it's in my human design. I'm a 2/4.

Explain what that is.

Manifesting generator. So my 2/4, I'm a hermit. So I go to bed at 8 o'clock every night.

Lori makes us go to bed at 9.

And I protect my energy and I need to hermit and recharge my soul. And then I'm also the networker. When I'm out and about, I am connecting, I'm making friends, I'm planting seeds. Everything is intentional, but it's from— it's what I love to do. Whether they could potentially be one of my new best friends, or they could be a potential partner for me, life partner, or a new client. Yeah.

So tell me about what that looks like though. When you go out, is your energy open? Are you starting the conversation? Do you come armed with questions? Like, how do you do that?

I usually just, you know, I'm drawn to energy, and so I, I get dressed. So when I go out, I dress for myself. I'm like, this makes me feel good. And then I'm usually anytime Every time I walk in a room, like, I'm attracting the conversations. People approach me constantly about, "Oh, I love that about you. You look, you know, who are you? I love, you know, you're so tall. I love your outfit. You look like Sarah Jessica Parker." Something, you know, comes up and then I, you know, I really just wanna get to know them and like, thank you for, you know, I just wanna connect with them. And then I take it from there. And then usually I'll get there. Let's connect on Instagram, or can I get your phone number? Let's see how we could help. How can I help you? You know, what do you need?

This is interesting because, um, our friend David Norrie talks about like, if you want to get to know people, just look at what they're wearing and they'll tell you what to talk about, right?

Yeah.

So when you look at Shelley, she's inviting you in to say, oh my God, where'd you get that? Yeah, where did you learn to dress like that? It probably makes it easier for people to start conversations with you. Therefore, you meet that many more people, right, using style as an icebreaker.

Yes. And I also, you know, back to like, I, I always have my arms open. I'm always, you know, trying to have the smile and positive energy because I know that's gonna open me up to—

that matters so much—

that the possibility. So I always have the posture of like, come talk to me. I'm— let's connect. And then I, I feel like that's, that's huge. And then it draws people towards me.

That's cool.

Okay, so tell me about the method. Then I want to know why signature style matters, but I'll read.

What's the experience like?

Like, paint it for people.

Okay. It's a— and it's, it's hard to put on paper. So it's, it's a deep style transformation. We ultimately shift your style identity, who you thought you were before. You will now become the most stylish girl in the room, no matter what room you go into. Guy, guy in the room, stylish person in the room. And it is, it's shifting your identity and your beliefs about who you are and what you're worthy of wearing. And it's a physical vision board, right? So we're ultimately, what you're wearing is ultimately what you want to attract for the future. And you're going to get it 10 times faster if you're wearing it right now. A physical vision board right here.

That makes me feel different now.

Yeah.

It's powerful. It's like, what do you want to attract? It's, you know, so true. Wear it now.

I, you know, I talk to Kris all the time and I'm like, I— when I really started focusing on style, this is just factual for me. My follower count went way up. I was focused more on better content and I started attracting a different clientele when I was, you know, even when I changed kind of like the visuals of like what people were wearing and what I was wearing at Girlfriends in Business, it attracted a different level of woman that I wanted to work with. Totally different.

Totally different. Mm-hmm. I did the same for myself when I founded my business.

Starting something new isn't just hard, it's also scary. I remember launching my business and this podcast thinking, what if no one buys? What if I say the wrong thing? But I also knew that if I didn't go for it, I would always wonder, and I couldn't live with that. And so I'm so glad that I bet on myself no matter what happens. And it also helps when you have a partner like Shopify on your side. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around around the world and 10% of all e-commerce in the U.S. From brands like mine, Glossy, to brands just getting started. Get started with your own design studio with hundreds of ready-to-use templates. Shopify helps you build a beautiful online store that matches your brand style. Accelerate your efficiency with AI tools that write product descriptions, page headlines, and even enhance your product photography. And get the word out like you have a full marketing team behind you with email and social campaigns wherever your customers are at. And did I mention that iconic purple Shop Pay button? It's why Shopify has the best converting checkout on the planet, boosting conversions and reducing abandoned carts. It's time to turn those what-ifs into with Shopify today. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.com/happy. Go to shopify.com/happy. That's shopify.com/happy.

I knew the way I'm going to attract a higher level client was by dressing for her.

Yes.

And I became her by dressing for her and investing in my wardrobe. Sorry, I veered off. Back to the method.

I was gonna say, I'm gonna steer you back to the method.

I'm gonna go back to the method.

You should describe this thing 'cause it's pretty cool.

So we get to spend, my team and I spend a day with you in your closet getting to know you.

Literally.

Literally.

In their closet.

In their closet. No matter where you are in the world, we come to you. I was in the Philippines last month for a VC conference.

Chicago, New York, anywhere. It doesn't matter.

Chicago, all over. We need to be with you and your energy. I need to get to know you. I need to see— I'm going to see your body. I'm going to— we're going to do a bra fitting. I'm going to understand— guys, you're going to have no bras. Some, some, maybe.

See what we can do about this.

This is my time to get to know who you are right now. And I also want to understand What your goals are, what are your visions? Like, ultimately I'm styling you 3 to 5 years out, who you are becoming. So where do you— what rooms do you want to be in? Where are we traveling? Where are you going with your partner? It's like understanding where they're, where they're wanting to go big vision-wise, because ultimately I'm holding that vision and creating that through their wardrobe. And then I channel the wardrobe of them next level. That's really cool. That's the power of it.

So that's the first step. I'm going to hold you guys here because it's so cool. You go into their closet and you're literally— I mean, there's crying involved. There's like, why do you wear this? What does this mean to you?

Shame. There's a lot of shame around potentially—

you're shaming them?

No, they have a lot of shame around pieces they've invested in and that, you know, they keep shopping. So shopping is often where, you know, they go to Outlet. You know, think that it's gonna outlet. Yeah, they're stuffing with clothes. So let's just— We're numbing with clothes. Shopping, numbing, buying, buying more clothes, and it will not solve the problem. I need to get under the hood and understand, no, you don't need, you know, 70 pairs of denim. Yeah. Maybe we need 4. Let's, we go through every category and I'm getting a picture of what you've been doing. And then ultimately, most of my clients want a new capsule for that upcoming season. They want mostly everything new. But of course, if you have some beautiful pieces, we will work with those. The next step is when I get to source everything you need for your wardrobe.

This is a 3-day experience. So day 1 is in the closet. Day 2 is what, you sourcing?

2 weeks later, they come to shop. But in between, I'm shopping.

Okay.

So I'm shopping on my own with my, you know, at home remotely. So they, they don't have to think about a thing. They just have to believe again that they're worthy of this, right? So the beauty of working with me is I don't work with one brand. I can source from anywhere in the world. I can source from Zara, I can source from Chanel. What is important to me is the value. So I deliver what is the highest value garments in every category for you based on your wardrobe— I mean, your budget, your lifestyle, and ultimately, you know, your body. What's going to fit you? What brands are best for you?

So then they come and do—

they come in their shop.

Yes.

Try the new stuff.

This is when the client gets to fly in for one of the best days of their life. This is their Pretty Woman day. They walk in and they have everything they need from shoes, full looks, athleisure, bras. We start with bra fitting, of course, not for my men, and jewelry. We have everything there, accessories. And so this is when First few looks, Lori, you know, most of my clients look in the mirror, they don't recognize themselves. They look in the mirror and like, who is she? She's so beautiful. I love her. And they cry and they're like, I love this. And the only thing I ask them about each garment is, how does it make you feel? And they look at it and they're like, I feel so good. I'm— I can't believe I lived my whole life without this. It's a hell yes. If it's not hell yes, we remove it and move on. So everything has to be hell yes. And then throughout this process, every piece that we're putting on, I'm meticulously looking the fit. I'm like, do I need to size up, tailor down, or maybe we just need a little nip and tuck? Because at the end of the appointment, I bring in the top seamstress in Los Angeles. She tailors every garment that needs tailoring.

Wow. She was amazing.

Yes. Lillian.

'Cause fit matters.

It's not just the garment. Fit is everything. You're huge on fit. Yes, I am.

Huge.

That's one thing that you are crazy about. Yes. And I'm meticulous. So every hem, you know, I work with a lot of petite clients and I also have a lot of plus-size clients. So it's no matter what size, everything will fit perfect.

Yeah.

Because when it's in that closet, it's ready to go. You just have to put it on and you know it's perfect for your body. So at the end, ultimately these clients, you know, they're experiencing things they never thought they could wear. You know, this is— I could go back to— I'd love to share A little bit about the limiting beliefs and body dysmorphia, because oftentimes in the closet I'll have women say, no shorts, Shelley. I don't wanna show my legs. I haven't since I was a child. I look at them and I say, received, understood. Third or fourth look I put on them in the style studio are beautiful shorts styled with a beautiful full look. They, they literally get physically, I see the physical reaction when I put apprehension, the fear of putting on a short, they look in the mirror again, tears. They're like, I look amazing.

I can't believe it.

Yeah. I'm like, yes, you can wear shorts. So it's these limiting beliefs. And then arms are the other thing. Women, I don't want to show my arms, Shelli. They're not good enough. I'm like, who told you they're not good enough? I'm like, we're going to be wearing— you're going to look so balanced. Nobody's focused on your arms when you have a beautiful look and you feel confident in it. So it's, it's really there's so much— it's, it's all psychology. It's 70% mindset, the work I do.

I think some of the really cool things that I picked up when we worked together were what you said with like, I wasn't a shorts lover either and kind of balancing all of it. But what, what happens is it opened up looks that I thought weren't for me because there is an art to figuring out what certain things work with and why.

Yeah.

And, you know, if you've never worn shorts or put— or you've put them together with t-shirts your whole life and never actually dressed them up, that's a very different experience with shorts, then like, yeah, I don't like shorts and a t-shirt, you know, like that's just not going to make me feel my best.

So, so many women are held back by all of these beliefs you learned from childhood, from your mother, what you should and shouldn't wear, what you're worthy of. You know, if your mom says you can only buy everything that's on sale, you're still running that story. My job is to set you free to wear what's authentic to you. And that's what I find. That's what this work does. So the more your wardrobe is aligned with you and who you are authentically, that's when the magnetism happens. And that's what I've done for myself. And I know this is what I do for my clients. And it's, it's an evolution. We keep growing and, you know, honing in on what really feels good for us.

How do we find that? Tell me about what a signature style is. Why is that important?

Why is it important?

How does it transfer into life and business?

Yes. I feel that these days everyone listening right now, you're a personal brand. I don't care if you work for Kraft, I don't care who you are. You are a personal brand and what you wear matters.

So I wholeheartedly agree.

Yes. So you, every time you show up consistently in a similar look, you're building trust with your audience.

Ah, it's the familiarity.

Yes. And so if you are constantly shifting from, you know, bohemian to, you know, all these different styles and aesthetics, you're— people are trusting you less. So for me, I know it's, I'll use my examples of, you know, like this black boot. I just literally wear this boot. I went to New York, I wore it for 5 days straight. No shame. I love it. It's a signature piece for me. My necklace that I'm not wearing because I have this, I wear it every day.

Yeah. And people, I know the necklace.

Yes. And if I didn't wear it, people are like, what's going on with you? Mm-hmm. And finding what that is for you It's— that's my job. So whether it's a sneaker or a piece of jewelry or, you know, something that lights you up, like every time you wear it, people look at you and they're like, what's going on here? Like, I like that about you. Like, Kris, for you, like your sneakers, that signature. And so it's— and then it's just outfit repeating. You're going to save money because you don't need to keep buying more.

Totally.

And then it's going to be— it's, you know, it takes less time to get dressed, and you're going to be more trustworthy. So it's really important to hone in on what that is for you. And that's the work I do one-on-one. But for anyone in the audience, it's, it's knowing like, what do I get complimented on? Just start wearing it over and over again in different ways and styling it differently. And you're going to start seeing, oh, I'm known for this. And then your audience is going to recognize it and it's just going to create your signature look.

The way the familiarity builds the know, like, and trust factor— I bet nobody saw that coming, and it's brilliant. It's how people can associate. When they hear your voice, they see you now. Yeah, when somebody brings you up, they see you now.

It's—

they know how to see you in their head, and that drives home the know, like, and trust factor. And when you have a know, like, and trust factor, they're going to do more business with you. That's literally just how it works.

So this polka dot, for example, I've had this for 5 years. I wore it for a photo shoot 3 years ago, and then I wear it on a daily basis. And it's, it's something that I just repeat. And people, you know, of course I could go buy something new for this, but I'm like, you know what, I'm going to wear the piece that I love. It feels good for me and people know me for it and it builds trust.

Okay, wait, wait, wait. I've got to jump in here because I hear out of you quite often like, oh, I already wore that. I can't wear it again. And I hear it all the time and I'm like, of course you can wear that again. So unpack this for me.

I mean, there's certain things I do wear frequently, but there are things that I used to think before you, like something like that, that was a statement, a statement piece that was hard to wear over and over again.

Yeah. And my— I— society tells us that buy something new. You're not good enough if you don't have the newest, hottest thing. And my, my wish and my message for women especially, but men too, that, you know, that's a lie. You know, we've been told this lie and I want to break it. And I think if you love something, you should just wear the shit out of it and enjoy it.

I think people are relieved to hear.

Yeah, well, I love that about you because you style it different too. So that's something that I learned is like watching you because I've seen that piece, I think maybe 3 times. And but you've worn it totally different and I've never, ever been like, Oh, I've seen her wear that a lot. I've always been like, that's cute. Like, because it's, it's like a new way of wearing it, a new way.

And so there's— it's reimagining. So, so many men and women, mostly women, are stuck with, you know, they have a lot of clothes and they're like, where do I even begin? It's like, let's work with what you have. Like, and then first of all, edit out what doesn't serve you. You, you've got to then let your favorite pieces rise up and just style those. Wear them over and over again. Again, this boot, I wore it for a week straight with no shame. Yeah. And I'm like, I could have bought 5 boots. Why would I do that? I'm packing a little carry-on. I'm all about just less is more.

And you're mixing metal right now.

I just noticed.

Mixing metal. Oh.

So I struggle with that too.

So you have silver on a black boot and you're wearing a gold belt.

Yeah, and I have a silver watch. Mix your metals.

Okay.

Have fun with them.

Freedom.

Freedom. Set, yes, I'm here to set us free.

When you finally get those chandeliers in a new house that you love, You can mix metals on your home as well. By the way, there are rules to it that I just learned on Pinterest today, this morning. But yeah, I love that. And I just realized it, like, on you, it looks amazing. So here's my question.

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Like, even when we were, you know, getting me dressed together, it's like I could love the outfit, but on me, it— I felt like I looked weird, even though I know that it looked nice.

Yeah.

How do people get around that? Because, you know, we, we can go try on these clothes and it just feels so foreign that it's almost like How do you start embodying a new look and how do you find your actual look?

Yeah, no, that's a, that's a great question. And so I think, I think it's wearing it and seeing how people respond to you. I think social, that, that factor is big, seeing how like maybe Chris would respond or, you know, your friends or strangers on the street. And then once you start getting those compliments, it's reinforces, I look incredible. I can pull this off. Because so many women are blending, they're fine, they're blending right in with every other woman. They won't get judged, they won't get critiqued by others. My wish is for all of them, I take them from feeling fine to just fucking magnetic. And everyone deserves to find that. And so back to how to do it is It's work. It is. And what I recommend for my clients, we do a digital album. So I, I have them take selfies. It's a habit. Every day they take a selfie, they upload it. I wanna know what they're wearing. And then I start seeing them, you know, really push their own limits.

Mm-hmm.

Right? And I've helped them find their edges of like, okay, you did this, now maybe try this. And so they're just seeing, they're just becoming more confident the more that they do it. To do it, right? So I think it's total sense doing it daily, and it's that habit. And this is the one thing I recommend for everybody is— and this is what I do for myself— no matter what, if I'm working from home, I will get dressed as though I'm seeing my top client.

Interesting.

And it increases my productivity. I eat better. People treat me differently. Everything is better. My energy levels are higher. And this is something I've put into place. My team— a few years ago, I had an assistant show up in sweats and her hair was kind of messy and she had no makeup on. And I— she sat at our morning meeting, I looked at her and I was like, nope, this is not going to work. I'm like, you go get dressed as though you were seeing our top celebrity client.

And good for you.

Yeah. And that's our standard.

Sets a culture.

It's a culture. And so you are— a lot of, you know, listeners out there have teams, and ultimately the way you're dressing You know, you're the boss. You need to walk— you're setting the tone for everyone below you. Yeah. Yeah. And so I think it's— it, it literally changes a lot. And I know it's all a lot of subconscious, but it's, you know, everything gets better in your day when you get dressed for your next level self.

I've absolutely gotten dressed. Now, I was at like 0%, like it was bad. It was really bad for a while there. Like, people think I get dressed up because they'll see me stage, or they'll see me like if I'm doing like a, um, a content day. But everything in between was athleisure or not dressed up, or just like— because my, you know, a lot of people listening, like, everything that she's saying, it is so worth it. And this is reinspiring me, by the way, like more than I can possibly tell you, because you're reminding me that it is a magnet. And I did see that in my life a lot, um, just throughout every interaction. But it, it felt challenging because people listening to this podcast, they absolutely— their brain is already being used so much of the portion of energy on their business or whatever that looks like. But I do believe that you can take away like some of the work because of what you'll be attracting. You won't have to work as hard, maybe marketing or trying to connect with people because more people will be drawn to you. It's just factual. When you're, when you're out and about, when you're at an event, the girl who's dressed the best— I'm just, I'm, I'm just being 100% 100% honest.

The girl who's dressed not even the best, it doesn't matter your body shape, it doesn't matter how much money she spent, it has nothing to do with that. The one who has put effort into herself, everyone is around her, authentic to her soul.

People are talking about her. Yes, you want to work with her. It's like I see it in every room. I'm like, oh yep.

And she's probably making the most money.

So do you have a real life tangible example of something? You don't have to say who they are, but like of money, of a client who like change how they dress and all of a sudden other things tangibly change in their life? Oh yeah.

I mean, all, every client, realtors, for example, my realtor clients, after working with me, they nail every, they get every listing they go on, every listing appointment. Who are you going to list your home with? The woman who looks like she really cares about her image, her body, her health. You're gonna list with her, not the one who looks casual. They don't really give a shit. They're not gonna care about your house.

Interesting.

It's huge. They make more money, they get the higher level listings. It's, you know, just like Million Dollar Listing. I mean, those people go in dressed for, you know, if you want a $25 million listing, you have to dress for it. Yep. Mm-hmm. Lawyers. I have a female lawyer. She's now like the top divorce lawyer in the country. She's like, Shelley, I'm the most expensive cuz I, I look the most expensive.

Wow.

She's like, when people come in to hire me, they look at me and they're like, she's gonna take care of me.

Dang.

Mm-hmm. That's cool. I mean, yep.

The way that you, the effort that you put in is what they equate to the effort that they're gonna receive. Yep. Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

That is so interesting.

So powerful.

Let's talk about, cuz we're, we're already on it, but using how you dress as manifestation.

Yeah. Ooh, this one. Mm-hmm. This is one of my favorites. I think it's one of the most overlooked manifestation tools. Mm-hmm. Okay.

Well, you already said you're walking vision board, right?

I do it. Yeah. And I, I'm a, example of it. So every time I get dressed, I want— I dress as my higher self. Like, what would she wear? And it is work. And I have to even— it's hard for me some days. I mean, do you think every day I want to put a great outfit on? No.

I wonder that. I'm like, is she just comfortable in those leggings?

I'm glad you said that. I was wondering if that's like—

I just want to put on those leggings. But I know how much of a difference it changes my day. And I know I'm setting the example for my team. And I work harder and I have a, I mean, I'm more productive ultimately. And I feel like for the other example is number one, the movement, and you get this, like I have to have my movement in the morning. That's the most important thing. The food you choose to put in your body is the second. And what you choose to put on, you know, your body as your wardrobe is the third most important decision you make in the day that can affect the trajectory of your day. So back to the physical manifestation. So ultimately it's, just, you know, telling the universe, like, when you invest in a garment, like, I touch it and I look at it and I'm like, I love this piece, I'm obsessed with it. And typically, you know, ideally you can buy it because you know that you will be able to— maybe you can't really afford it right now, but you're like, I'm gonna buy this and then I'm gonna attract, live into it, I'm gonna live into it, I'm gonna become her. And this is what I've done my whole, I mean, even with my last house I rented.

Yeah.

It was, I had to become a different person. Yeah.

You had to live into the person that paid that.

To live into the, yes, that could afford this home. And I did it. I stepped into her and every day I wake up, I'm like, this is my reality. And I did it. Same thing with my wardrobe. It's like, I wanna know, I'm putting on these beautiful pieces knowing that, This is my new normal. Like, I'm raising that thermostat with my wardrobe every day. Like, just, it's a habit. We're habit stacking.

So I want to know, tell me, like, from the woman who— or actually, your, your personal experience when you go and do this. Like, do you wake up with this intention? Is it like an exercise that you do in your mind? Do you visualize? Like, how do you personally get dressed? Do you have style boards for yourself? Like, how do we start stepping into that version?

It's not easy. And I still, you know, back to feeling good in my body. I mean, after a workout, I'll feel better putting my clothes on, right? I still struggle with, you know, my body every day too. And I know every woman out there, men, but I know for a fact every woman is as well. And I know that, especially when I put on pants, it's like they have to feel perfect. Otherwise I'm gonna feel uncomfortable all day. Pants, I would rather rewear the same two pairs of pants that make you feel great, that make me feel great, than put on a pair that doesn't feel good. And so it's letting go of anything that doesn't make you feel good, that's maybe a little too tight, yeah, is like low vibration, low quality, doesn't fit well. Like, let it go. And then wear, you know, like, I'll rewear this short over and over again. I'll wear it twice a week, maybe three times a week if I'm feeling it. So it's It's wearing the things you love over and over again and then change the top. You know, you can just swap out the top. And then also it's maybe taking a rack and pulling out your 10 favorite pieces. Let's say this is a challenge. Pull out your 10 favorite pieces for the week and you're gonna mix and match those 10 pieces to create your 5 to 7 looks for the week. That is all you need to do. It's so simple. Most women have thousands of pieces in their wardrobe and they can't even see the pieces that they should be wearing because there's so much clutter and their closets are a disaster. So no wonder you walk, you walk in the closet and you're just like, I don't even want to deal with this. I'm going to open up my drawer and pull out my workout leggings. I'm safe, right? And so it's setting that, taking the time and energy doesn't cost you a dime. Put that rack out on a Sunday, spend about half an hour like styling some of your looks. Maybe you wanna do a flat lay, maybe you wanna try them on. And then you can, you know, take selfies and you create your own digital lookbook. Like that's what my clients do. You know, they take selfies and then you like recreate that look. Like 3 days later you can wear that same look.

Yeah, totally.

Right? So it's, it's really just taking fewer pieces that you love styling them together, creating your digital lookbook, and then outfit repeating. So keeping it simple.

I mean, there's amazing ways to work with you, which we'll talk about in a minute. But for people who are just— they want to start dabbling, one thing that you had said, you know, that I'm actually going to get in this next house because we have room for it now is a rack.

Yes.

Like, tell, tell me about that. Like how the ease of just like—

kind of rack we talk about Amazon.

Oh, $40, $50 on Amazon.

You keep a separate, almost like rolling rack kind of in your closet to be able to pull looks and kind of like put things together. That you can see them too.

See them, because you can't see them when your closet is so disorganized and the categories are confused. And that's why organization is really key. And that's, you know, what I have, you know, a system that I share and I can share more about that. But it's, you buy the Amazon rack and also every season you're gonna do seasonal swaps with your wardrobe. So no matter what market you're living in, you need to seasonally swap out your wardrobe.

Instead of just leaving everything crammed in there.

Swap it out. Yes, swap it out. So right in front, right now in my wardrobe, we're actually, We're shifting into spring/summer with my clients. So we're editing their wardrobes all over the country. We're taking their winter, we're editing it again.

That's cool.

Every season we're gonna edit everything and then we're gonna swap it. So we're gonna pull out the spring and summer that they love, put it front and center. Then I can see what holes need to be filled immediately. But you can't see it if you're, you know, and some people have, you know, gowns mixed with their everyday clothes, and they have their ski gear, and then they have— so no wonder you can't get dressed. You've got to archive anything that isn't current. Put it in another room, put it in bins if you don't have space, put it in bins, remove it from the space, bring it back. Another thing is often people have a lot of different sizes in things. So say they're holding on to things that they want to fit back into. We need to archive those. Mm-hmm. You know, if you wanna fit back into it, let's put it into a different room or space. But every time you're getting dressed, you're feeling shame because it's in your closet, you can't wear it. So then you just, it's taking up space and you get overwhelmed. Let's remove it. And when you can fit into it, let's reintroduce it to your closet.

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What I learned from you is the amount of decision fatigue that I was having and also how, you know, because if you are looking at everything for all year long, looking at so many pieces, it's like, it's overwhelming decisions.

Yes.

And then the other thing was, you know, my struggle when I first came to you is I'm like, I buy so many clothes. I have all of these beautiful trendy clothes, but I don't know how to wear them. And one of the gaps that you filled that really actually helped me— I'm still— this is a learning process, you guys. Like, this, this takes months and years. It really does. I'm still in phase 1. I'm going to graduate to phase 2 in a few months. A few months after this podcast, because now I've reignited. You've re-excited me. But one of the biggest things that was really eye-opening, and maybe you guys are going to get this as well, is that I was missing basics, basic pieces, your foundation, so much trending stuff, but I had no basic build.

So then you didn't know how to put it together.

Yeah, I didn't know what it together because a bottom was trying to be a top. Was trendy and I call it the glue.

You don't have the glue to build your look.

Totally. Yeah. So you got me some amazing basics, some amazing glue, which I have that I love, and I wear them over and over and over again. I will say I did wear my, my— it's like this commando bodysuit. So I just wear like 3 times a week. So good.

As you should. It's a great piece.

I love it. Okay, so how do you think, like, if there's something coming up for you, like a big— I know you had some big meetings. Yes, I know that you recently— tell me about that. Tell me about some of your recent travels and one of your dinners that you did. And how did you get dressed for it? How did you pick?

Oh yeah. What I— so I had— I hosted a Miami luncheon at Curio. So it's— I partner with Curio.

It's—

is that a clothing brand connected to the Faena Hotel? It's a clothing boutique. So they do beautiful resorts. It's like 20,000 square feet. It's like a dream partnership, beautiful brand.

And did you go to them?

Yes.

So I went there. Listen, guys, all the subtleties that she is saying, she's doing this.

They're not coming to her.

You're going to them. Yeah, I connect. So I invested in hosting a luncheon where we invited 20 women in the Miami market to come shop and have a beautiful lunch and learn about me and, you know, experience the Curiose. It was a beautiful partnership that we had and it was, you know, again, another way of investing in myself that I know I'm planting seeds, they will come to fruition. And then I did the same in New York. So I'm working on, you know, expanding my men's business. And so Eleventeen Milano is my favorite menswear brand and I've been working with them for 5 years. We have a great relationship. And I reached out and I said, hey guys, you know, I'd love to host something with you in New York. And they said, Shelley, for you, absolutely. They're like, we don't do this for any stylist. I was like, let's do it. So they, we partnered in at one of the hottest Italian restaurants, hosted private dinner for 22 men.

That's cool.

And we did a masterclass. We had a model. And the best part was a lot of these men actually through different networks were connected, like 6 degrees. So it was a networking opportunity for them. They got to know me. It was just a beautiful partnership. But again, it was another huge investment in my brand, myself.

I hope people catch that. You're investing in creating these opportunities to partner. That's very important to understand that order. You're investing in creating the opportunities to partner with somebody.

People will see that and they'll be like, oh God, I wish a brand would reach out to me.

I'm like, they're coming, they're coming.

You had the idea, you put all the money in.

But I had created a relationship with them for years. I had been working with their product and they know, you know, I work with incredible clients and they know that in the future I will be working with a lot of men. So it was a beautiful, like, value exchange. Value exchange. And it's just the beginning of what we're going to create. And, you know, there's a lot of future potential with them and lots of other brands. But it's like, I'm, you know, it was— there was discomfort, you know, I—

oh yeah.

You know, to push myself out of that. Yeah. Of to like reach out and just, you know, commit to that, book the flights. You know, I brought my assistant along. It was a huge deal.

Yeah.

Like, time investment. Yes.

Yeah.

Are these men gonna show up? Everybody showed up.

That's amazing.

And there was, there was over, we overbooked.

What do you think made them show up? How did you pitch that?

So here's how I feel. I had friends.

Okay.

I reached out to my network in New York and I said, who do you know that could be, you know, potentially interested in working with me or joining this beautiful dinner? Mm-hmm. And through my network, we received 25 men, which it wasn't easy. And to get them to show up, I was shocked that everybody showed up. And I kept saying it's complimentary because people are like, well, how much is it? I'm like, it's free dinner. You just come and learn about the brand. And not one of these men had heard of Eleventy. So it's creating brand awareness for them. And they'd never even been around a stylist before. So it's a newer, industry, newer things. So it was a win-win. But there was, you know, even just putting myself out there with these men and saying, you know, here's what we're doing, I'd love to have you. And then we followed up. There's a lot of follow-up. So we sent like 4, you know, reminders, invites. I text them all. It was a lot of work.

I'm so proud of you. Listen to what you did to get people to show up. You could have done this and 4 people could have showed up, right? So one, you took the risk. Two, you didn't just take the risk and hope. You sent all the reminders, all the texts, all the be there, all the— like, you really went all in to make this happen.

Yeah. And then the follow-up was even more important. You know, we even— we did a— some of the men were like, oh, I want to know every man that was in there because I have some potential connections. So I created an email. I shared it with everybody. I was like, guys, that's cool. Here's, here's the group. You know, I can't wait to see what you guys are going to create. Keep me posted. And then we followed up up with everybody repeatedly, and we're, you know, we have some potential new clients through it. So it was a learning opportunity, but it was out of my typical, you know, of course I could just stay in my house and work. I'm trying to get myself out there and put myself out there, and it's scary, but it's worth it.

You're creating a perception of a very large brand that's very desirable by other people and big brands. And people think that that is just like, poof, it's, you know, you just show up there. No, you literally create, create it.

Wow.

I am, I am like so freaking proud of you. This is if people want to know how to like level up, get the perception of their business, start working with bigger clients. Like this was a literal handbook. Yeah, exactly how to do that. Whether you listen to this for like, I want to make sure people who aren't even interested in style listen to this for how important this manual that you just laid out for everybody is. So, but we want to go back to the ways that we can work with you because you have two different ways. So tell us.

Yeah, my one-on-one high-touch signature service, The Method, Magnetic Style Method. You know, it's completely bespoke to you. I work with men and women. I work with couples. I'm going to Sarasota for a couple next week.

I was going to say, what a great gift. Like, guys, if you're listening, get this for your wife. Like, the ultimate cool gift.

Gift. It's really a matching track set.

Yeah, it's the gift that keeps on giving.

Yep.

You know?

Yeah.

Like my husbands are like, you changed my wife's life. Thank you. So that's my one-to-one. She's so non-intrusive.

Exactly.

And then I also have a membership. So I have a beautiful Style Society membership.

That's really dope.

Hundreds of women around the world. It's a style sisterhood.

What do they get in it?

They get 5 digital lookbooks every month, style boards.

And it's so cool. I wish people could see it. It's so good.

And it's more about how to style what you own. So for instance, like wide leg jeans, so many women are concerned, like, I can't wear wide leg jeans or straight leg. There's so much confusion. So I break down, you know, every month what's going on, what's coming up for the market, you know, for spring. I'll be sharing what I, what I offer my Method clients. I'm giving to these Style Society members for $55 a month.

Wow.

It is. It's— there's so much value. And then the best part, once a month we do a style masterclass. I review do the boards and the members can ask me any style questions. So it's like having me in your back pocket. Shelley, I just bought this. I don't know how to style it. Or there's a lot of vulnerability, like I'm struggling with this. Shelley, can you help me? And all of these women are, number one, connecting with one another. So I've seen friendships, podcasts through my Style Society, which is great. So it's community that everybody's wanting to improve their style and grow. And there's just, it's a really beautiful community that I'm honored to be a part of.

I love that.

Wow. So they get like a call, they get a Zoom masterclass with me and all the other members so they can answer questions. Like anything that comes up for them, I'm there to answer it for them.

How did they find you in order to enroll in either one of these?

Well, I'm definitely on the Instagram. I hang out on IG a lot.

She's so fun to watch. Go follow me.

Follow me on IG.

Share your Instagram right now.

I'm @shellycarlson. It's Shelly with a C. Yep. And then my website, shelleycarlson.com. You can sign up for either.

Awesome. Very cool.

Well, we're so grateful for you. This has been— I mean, in all honesty, this was such a good reigniter for me because even though it's a lot of work, it's making so many other parts of your life and business less work. And just, you feel good. You feel really good. When I was really getting dressed from you, I felt really good.

I think that's my takeaway is people and me The fear is if you give me all this stuff I'm supposed to wear, it's going to be more work. But no, you're actually making it easier and less work.

Right. And less is more. I want you to have fewer. When I work with clients, they're letting go of half their wardrobe and we're not like it's— we want less quality over quantity.

That's so true. Yeah. I said goodbye to a lot of things in my closet. Okay, this is hard, but it's also great. Now I have, you know, I can see what I'm wearing. So thank you so much for coming on.

We're so grateful for you.

Oh my gosh.

Thank you so much.

And you guys, until next time, earn your happy.