Lori Harder explains why prioritizing your own needs matters in relationships. She warns that chasing someone at the expense of yourself leads to anxiety and loneliness, and shares her own experience of unhappiness when she made that mistake.
Our needs have to be more important than the target of our affections or desire. Too many people have that the other way around. It's more important to get the person than it is to have my needs met. And then they find that they get the person and they're deeply, deeply unhappy. That relationship is a kind of hell. And I've been in a relationship like that. I was miserable. Yeah, you can be totally lonely in a relationship. I was lonely. I was in excruciating anxiety day after day where I didn't feel good enough. I didn't feel my needs were met. My mind was so focused on trying to hold on to something I didn't realize how miserable I was. And that was because I put a person before I put my own needs.
