How to Reinvent Yourself at Any Age with Ann Chikahisa

After 35 or 40, everything's downhill. If you don't know what you want to be, your career, it's kind of done for women, you know what I mean? Like, your best part of your life was the early part. And now I just have this complete, like, excitement for everything that's ahead of me.

Reinvention has no age. Reinvention can happen when you're my age. It can happen when you're 20. It can happen when you're 40. It's a mindset. Don't ever limit your reinvention to, I can't do it because— that's the biggest fallacy.

And welcome to the podcast. Thank you for coming on.

Thank you, Lori. I'm so excited to be here with you.

I'm more excited because it's a fellow jewelry girl.

Yeah.

And if anybody knows me and has followed any of my Instagram, they saw like a complete makeover of fashion and jewelry, essentially from even 2 years ago. And so something that I'm so excited about, about meeting you is we share this mutual love for jewelry. I know.

I love it. And I love how you're stacking.

Oh my God. Thank you so much. It's like the highest compliment coming from you.

You're so good at it.

Oh, thank you. And, you know, when I met you and saw your style, your jewelry, and that's exactly what you do. You are the founder of an amazing, meaningful jewelry company, which we're going to talk about and some of the business behind that as well. But I looked at you and I was like, that woman is literally stunning in every way. And a lot of it is because of also how you hold yourself. And I think for a lot of people, It's like we can want to look a certain way. We can want to start putting jewelry on. We can want to start. We don't know. A lot of people don't know where to start. For you, what is it when you're putting on jewelry? We're going to dive deep into your story. But another thing about you is that I had no idea what your age was. Do you mind sharing it first? Because I want people to first know because I'm going to tell a story.

I'm 62.

She's 62. Okay. When I met you, that was one of the most inspiring things for me ever because you are so such a fashionista. You're 62 and you're rocking it and you're rocking it more and more every time that I see you. Like, I don't know how you're getting better and better and better. And so for me, I'm 45. I'm looking for examples of older women who I like want to be like now.

Oh my gosh.

And you're one of them that when I look at your style, when I look at your jewelry, when I look at how you enter rooms, when I look at how you hold yourself, You're absolutely one of those people for me.

So thank you, Lori. That is like the highest compliment I could ever get. Well, thank you.

This is just so much fun for me to talk about because it truly is something I'm really passionate about because jewelry helps people's highest version of themselves come out. And it's not just about putting it on, it's about intentionally how do we want to wear it? Like when we show up, are we going to go, is this too much? Do I have too much jewelry on? Or are we going to say, no, I actually really love this and maybe I'll put on one more necklace. And so it's been an evolution for me. People might see it as, oh, she's just trying to get more stylish. I'm actually trying to let go of opinions more.

So good. And that is so true. And that's what I've learned as I've gotten older, is stepping into who you are, what is meaningful for you, and how you feel. It's not about what everyone else says. It's not about the rules. It's like what makes you light up. So It's been a journey for me. I wasn't always that confident in putting things together. And now, like, like I said, when I came in, should I put on more jewelry? It's, it's about what makes you feel powerful, embodied, self-confident. And it can mean so many things to different people. Some people only need one piece of jewelry. Other people like us, we love to— we just— I mean, it's fun. It's a self-expression. And how do you put different pieces together to create your own style. And I love that you are experimenting. I think every woman and even every man should experiment with putting things on and trying it on because you can always take it off.

Totally.

And if somebody says something to you about what are you wearing, who cares? If you feel good in your body and how you dress yourself, that's what you should do.

I totally agree. And we're actually going to dig— I like really want to dig into the psychology behind what happens when a woman puts on something that she has been desiring to wear or become a certain, have a certain look or style. But before, like the moments before we do that, it doesn't feel like you, even though there's a version of you that you're like, no, that's how I want to be. Yes, that's how I look.

Yes.

Oftentimes we can go and put it on and it can feel like we look like a clown show. Like when I first started wearing necklace stacks and I felt like a clown show and like Essentially, like, the fear that I had in my head was, oh, that looks like too much, or I'm not doing it right. And I remember your fears will be a self-fulfilling prophecy, right? Like, I came downstairs and Chris was like, what is this, the Mr. T starter pack? And I was like, oh shit, okay, I do look crazy. And he was just being funny, and he was like, no, no, I like it. But it's, you know, people will start saying things that can make you go back to how you were, like, oh, maybe this looks dumb, or maybe this isn't right.

Absolutely.

But you have to keep pushing through that. So kind of tell me, just for you, and we're going to dig into your business in a second, but for you, when you really started to layer, especially because I know that there's conversations even for me around my age, like when I start, you know, I'm, I'm going to be crop top girl the rest of my life for, for the most part. That's what I'm, that's what I'm proclaiming now. I'll be 70 with a crop top and necklace stacks.

I love that, and you should. You absolutely should. And I think as like just in, in the last 5 years, I see more and more women my age bracket, you know, 50s and up, who are really stepping into breaking the rules.

Yes.

And they just are styling to who they think they should be and not because they're 50 or they're 60 and that there's certain things you should not wear. Yeah. So I love— I hope to see you at 70 in a crop top.

It's happening. We're getting together and we'll both be in crop tops and all your jewelry. Okay, so tell me about that though. When you first started really stacking a lot and wearing a lot of jewelry, was there, was there like a personality or embodiment that you had to think about when you started doing that? When you were like stepping out of your house or going into places that made you question, is this too much or is my fashion too much? Did you ever experience that or has this always been like kind of part of you?

Well, I've always been a fashion girl.

Yeah. Okay.

It's always been, it's always been part of me. And how that all evolved for me is I, I don't know if people know this, but back in the day, Chan Luu had a store, a retail store before she had her jewelry brand. I don't know if you know the brand.

No, I don't.

They're the wrap bracelets that everyone did a while ago with all the beads and layered.

Okay.

Was very big, you know, maybe 10 years ago.

Okay.

And a lot of celebrities wore her. But anyways, before she started her jewelry brand, I worked for her and managed her store, and she was an incredible fashionista. She taught me about style, how to put everything together. And the biggest lesson I learned from her is you can take a normal outfit and transform it with accessories.

Yes.

Right shoes, right belt, and the right jewelry. And that's where I learned to really put on a beautiful pair of earrings, layer my necklaces, was from her. And so that's always carried me through. It's like your finishing touch to your outfit. And that's just evolved over the years by continuing to do that. And as I've gotten older, I've realized that I like to wear things that are meaningful. That help me carry the intention I want for a particular day or a particular era in my life. And I can wear like sweatshirt and shorts and tennis shoes and not feel put together. But once I put on jewelry, it changes a normal everyday outfit into something that makes me feel really good. And that's my intention behind wearing jewelry is how do I go from feeling ordinary to feeling feeling extraordinary. And just adding these pieces makes all the difference for me.

It's really changed my life. And I know that some people might be like, can it really be that life-changing? That sounds shallow. No, it really, really does.

It has.

And here's one of the biggest reasons why, is it inspi— it inspires people. I've had so many people say, you know what, I have always wanted to like wear things like that, and I just haven't. I haven't felt like I've had permission. And you give me permission. I guarantee you do that for everybody that you know. Like, I bet you don't even know that you're doing it, and they'll put on another necklace or another bracelet. And like you said, there's a difference of— some people look in the mirror and they're like, I'm not stylish. I believe that you are and that you can be, because if you really strip down what we wear every day, it's completely normal outfits, right? Maybe I'll buy expensive pants and put an Amazon top with it, you know? It's like, then I just put all the jewelry on, which is also very mix and match for me. Some of it's Some of it's very cheap, some of it's more expensive. Some days I'm wearing all cheap, some days I'm wearing expensive.

Exactly.

And it's just the most fun expression. So I wanna go back to 2018 to kind of the original story.

Right.

You were in corporate.

Yes.

Tell me that story and how things got started.

Well, actually I started the business in 2010 and I was in corporate. I was in corporate sales. You know, I was very successful in it. I love people, could connect with them. And I just was so disembodied in what I was doing. I hated my job, even though I was very good at what I did. And so I've always been a really creative person. I've always done crafts since I was a little kid. And so I knew that I needed to reconnect to that person. So I started taking classes at a local art center in Chicago.

Fun.

And it was super fun. And it became an obsession. You can talk to any metalsmith, anybody who works with fire and solders. We're all addicts. It's something about the flame when you start torching things. It's— we're all pyromaniacs. Oh, God, I feel like that would be big for me. Yeah. And it's like the transformation, the alchemy of seeing something melt and put together and taking a concept in your head and actually seeing it being built is, is really life-changing. So that's how it started, is taking these classes at an art center. And then it just kind of took off. And a very good friend of mine, I think she was really tired of me giving her jewelry for every single occasion in the world. She said to me in 20— I think it was 2011, something like that. Let's have a— I'm going to throw you a trunk show. We'll invite all our friends. And she opened up her house and we went and hung out and I was like, I'm not going to sell anything. Maybe like 5 pieces. People came in throughout the entire day and I sold 65 pieces that day. Oh my gosh. And she hits me and she goes, "See, I told you." And so that's—

Oh, I just want to cry.

I know. We were both so giddy at the end of the day. We were really, really high from all the interaction and the support and the love we got. And that's how my business got launched. So referring back to 2018, 2018 was a pivotal moment in my business. I had just been making jewelry, wholesaling it, doing it online. And in 2018, I went through a divorce. It was life-altering. It was also a moment that I didn't expect to happen. I came home and my ex-husband had written me a note basically saying, I'm leaving you, I'm going to file for divorce. And I was like, see it coming? No, no.

How long were you married?

22 years. Oh my gosh. Yeah, it's a really crazy story. And I, I, I don't feel comfortable sharing the details, but it was just devastating for me.

Yeah.

And so it was a Thursday night. I came home. Uh, and I got that note and, uh, I, I called a couple people. And, um, on— that was Thursday night. And then Friday I went and called attorneys, interviewed them. And then on Saturday I got on a plane. I had to be in Chicago for a show, so I went to Chicago and did a show. And that was crazy because—

sorry, show—

a jewelry show. It's my biggest show of the year and it was crazy. I I was so out of my head and my body trying to function, talk to people and sell my jewelry while my personal life was falling apart. So after that show, I came home and I just knew I needed something to hold me and keep me together. And for me, the biggest thing that I knew I needed to have was hope. 'Cause for me, hope is everything. I needed to see that. For everyone, for that light at the end of the tunnel, to know that I could get through it. And so that's where my first talisman was made. I created this piece. It's, you know, it looks like this. It's just textured. It's got a spinel. I put a spinel in it because spinel is hope and resilience. And I just started wearing it. And then people commented. So then I started selling them. And it, it really changed my business. I was able to create something that was meaningful and help people in transition. And it was really powerful for me because it helped me use my creative energy and harness it in a really positive way to rebuild my life. So the big joke is, you know, you can see my healing path by looking at all the different talismans I've created and the order, you know, that it came through because it's my journey. It's a physical journey of what I was experiencing and the emotions that I needed to carry with me while I was healing. Okay. And, you know, I'm still healing. We're always healing. We're always learning about ourselves and trying to improve ourselves. But, you know, I first it was hope and then it was truth and then it was strength and then it was healing. And so I think I have like, uh, 20 talismans now.

Can you kind of— now my curiosity is so piqued because I think anybody listening can kind of— they'll recognize themselves in that pattern. First of all, can you tell us what a talisman is for people who don't know what that means?

Absolutely. I know, and I always forget that.

I know it's part of your everyday life. I know it is, it is.

So a A talisman is a centuries-old piece of jewelry that people carry with them to hold intention. It could be hope, luck, strength, love, whatever. And so what I did was take this ancient tradition and I turned it into a modern way because most talismans are very literal in what they look like. You know, like, a four-leaf clover for luck, a heart for love, horseshoe, you know, those kinds of things.

Yeah.

And being a creative person, I wanted to harness energy without it being a literal translation. So I took words that were meaningful for me in my healing journey, and I created talismans that are artistic interpretations of those words. And so that's what I did. And so also, to answer your question about talisman, talisman can be anything that holds meaning for you that you can carry with you. And the intention of a talisman is to help you hold that energy in when you're wearing it. So it's a physical reminder of what you want to carry.

Those things really work, honestly. So I didn't have jewelry, but when I was going through a journey of, of growth, of, of getting over anxiety and wanting to be a public speaker back in the day, like way back in the day. This was pre-podcast. This is like fitness Lori wanting to go into being a personality that actually spoke on stage instead of just, you know, was up there for fitness things, not using my words. Like the whole point was for me to try to inspire with language, right? Except I had horrible anxiety, like debilitating anxiety. And so One of the things that really helped me, there was like, there's 10 things, right? But these little things really can also help you. I like found some like crystals that were supposed to be like for throat chakra and all of these different things. I would speak with them in my pockets. So I would wear outfits on stage, like these little stages that I would go on. And there was something about having something that said, hey, I have your back a little bit, or hey, this is going to help you through, or don't forget, or, you know, that every time I'd have my hands in my pockets, I was like, okay, this is, this is a reminder that I can do this. This is a reminder that, you know, this could be helping me a little bit, or here's what I wanna focus on.

For sure.

And so I do, you know, humans are so anchored in the physical.

Mm-hmm.

That I think that these physical, tangible things can actually really help us when we apply the meaning.

Absolutely.

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Absolutely. Like, I remember one of the first times I had to get up and speak. Yeah, I was terrified, right? Just like how you felt. And I would put on my Strength talisman, and at the time I wasn't layering anything. I just knew I needed to wear my Strength, and I would put it on. And when you're physically putting something on and you are embodying and thinking about who you want to be in the moment. You're visualizing, right? So it's not just the physical reminder, it's also who you want to be and visualizing where you want to be, right? And putting the two together. So I would put it on, do the visualization before I get on stage, and then you get on stage and you're like, okay, I got this. It's the same thing that you were feeling. And because it's there, if I kind of would steer, I just like physically touch it and I'm like, oh, bring me back. Yeah. And it's not rocket science. It's something really subtle and nobody notices because I'm a fidgeter. So I'll be going like— I'm such a— Right?

Between the two of us, this is all you're gonna hear on here. I'm like twirling rings.

I'm twirling— Right, right. But see, those little things make all the difference in bringing you back.

They really do.

Same with like this ring. I know this stone is really powerful for me. Me. So I'll put it on and I know it's here. And if I get nervous, I'll rub it or I look at it. It's those little reminders that can really help us.

You know, I want to, I want to point that out because that was such a big part of my journey is what you said, like the— it's like the getting dressed or adorning yourself. And when we think about how people historically in the past, before they would do things, before they'd go to battle, before they'd go to a baptism, before they go to— there were actual garment and protective rituals. Absolutely. It's so ritualistic to do this. Yes. And so when people see an evolution in your style, in my style, it's because I am physically putting things on and thinking about who I want to be, how I want to feel, and how I want other people to feel around me. Absolutely. And so it's like, okay, you know, you know what a crop top is for me? Permission for women. Like, oh, I didn't know we could still do that. I didn't know that. You could go to a podcast and wear a crop top. I didn't know you could be on stage and do that and still be, you know, classy on the bottom. But you could have your own personal style. And so, you know, these adorning moments, like putting on something that means strength to you.

Yes.

Is a moment of intention and true intention. Like you said, feeling it, grabbing it. It's what is that reminder that can consistently remind you of who you want to be in the world and how you want to feel.

Absolutely. And one of the stories that I remember hearing hearing about, you know, I'm Japanese American, I'm third generation, and Japanese culture is very important to me. And I just remember hearing about the samurai warriors and what, and they have, you know, they're wearing their kimonos and they have the belts on that keep their kimonos together and blah, blah, blah. They all would wear these little tassels with little adornments on them for protection, for strength. To bring in that warrior energy. So when I read about that, I was like, oh, this is how I can, how I can bring it into my world, in my vision, using history and culture and intention altogether. So that's kind of how it all evolved.

That's why I love what you're doing with your jewelry, because it really is— so much of it is a lost ritual.

Yes.

That actually makes a big difference. When you just said that, it's like they would adorn themselves with things that said, okay, now we're going to like, truly, this is where we get ready for what we're about to do and we're putting on strength. This represents strength. Okay, now you're good. And what's happening is in your head you're like, okay, I did the thing that I'm, you know, protecting myself. I'm doing the ritual, I'm doing the stuff. And it does. It makes such a huge difference. Like even when I'm speaking, I'm like, oh, I could never just go out and speak in like my You know, in sweats because there's a ritual of me getting ready, getting the shoes, getting like getting the power suit, getting the whatever it is.

It's your armor.

Totally.

For sure.

For the event. And it's really like, okay, now I'm ready. Now I'm the person. Now I can go out there. Yeah. So I love that so much. Okay. You talk a lot about the rituals that are really important to you. Let's talk about wabi-sabi, cuz I know that that also plays a role into your life.

Yeah. Wabi-sabi is, I, for those of you who don't know what wabi-sabi is, wabi-sabi is The art of imperfection. It's the celebration of imperfection in life. And to me, I grew up in a family where perfectionism— I think so many of us— perfectionism is highly sought after, you know, getting the perfect grade, looking perfect, skin perfect. Like everything has to be perfect. And it's a lot of pressure, right? And I see that so much with the younger generation getting the perfect score to get in the right school and to have the right pedigree. And, you know, the whole thing, it's so much pressure that you don't get to be who you want to be. And I decided that I didn't want my jewelry to be perfect because I wanted to celebrate the imperfection because I see so much beauty in nature with imperfection, you know, like the cracks in the rock, the twigs that are kind of bent in weird ways can be so beautiful. The aging of bark, you know, or moss growing on a piece of bark is beautiful. And so I took those concepts that I saw in nature and put it into my work to symbolize not only the beauty of it in nature, but also what it represents in our modern world of so much emphasis on perfection that we miss the journey of our travels and being who we need to be and accepting ourselves with all our flaws because nobody's perfect, right? We all have crazy things that we do or kooky things, quirks in our personality. But that's what makes us unique and that's what makes us beautiful. Mm-hmm.

Around what age did you have the realization that it's like, whoa, I'm supposed to be perfect?

Like, what do you remember what age that was when you really realized it?

And that felt like a lot of pressure?

Probably when I was middle school.

Okay.

Middle school age. And then going into high school and college, you know, all of that. And I kind of— once I got into college, I didn't go down that route. I didn't feel like I needed to get straight A's. I didn't feel like I had to always look perfect. Maybe it's because I was trying to buck the system. I don't know. Even though most of my friends in college were, you know, getting perfect grades, always dressed perfectly. It's— it— I kind of decided that's not where I wanted to be.

What would this version of Anne with this jewelry line go back and give the middle school, college version? Which piece would you give her and what would you tell her?

Oh, which talisman?

Mhm. And what would you tell her? Oh, that's a great question.

I would— God, it's hard to pick one. You could give her a couple. She can wear a stack. Okay, she can wear a stack. Okay, we're doing a stack. Okay. I would first give her love because love is imperfect and you have to celebrate who you are and love yourself first before—

Is that what she needed at that time?

Mm-hmm. Permission to love herself. I would give her strength because she needs strength to pursue who she wants to be and have the confidence, right? You can't have that confidence without that strength and inner knowing of who you are. And, um, I'd probably give her ascendant as well. Mm-hmm. That's, that's to inspire her to be her highest level of who she wants to be. Mm-hmm. So I think the 3 would get her where she needs to be.

Mm, I love that. We need to like go back, get a picture of you and like Photoshop those necklaces in.

Oh, that's a great idea.

So fun.

I don't know if you wanna see those pictures of me when I was a— Oh, I wanna see all of 'em.

I wanna see all of 'em. I'll show you mine if you want. You show me yours.

Okay, well, it's a deal.

You'd laugh. You'd laugh. Okay, I'll put my necklaces on me, my old self too.

Oh my God, that would be hilarious.

Let's talk about, um, when you're making these, because when you're coming up with the idea of, of strength, of, you know, hope, of whatever it is, I kind of want to know along the journey, can, can we— if you can remember, you don't have to tell me all of them, but can you kind of tell me some of the main points in the journey of what that beginning piece was. We kind of talked about it, but what were— what was the next evolution of where you were at in some of the words? And then what was kind of where we're at now? So beginning, middle, ending.

Yeah. Oh, that's a great question. So the first one was hope, because I needed to believe that I could get through a difficult situation. And then the next one was truth. I needed to find truth within myself.

What does that mean?

What does that look like? I had so much self-doubt of who I was, where I was going to go, so I needed to have that to move forward.

Yeah, because you were someone else in a relationship for 22 years.

Yes, yes. I lost myself, basically. I think, um, That's another thing is like so many women my age, we are taught to form our lives around our partner.

Mm-hmm.

And definitely, you know, our partner, our family, because that was the main priority. Mm-hmm. And it should be. It's just that I, I would want to redo it and not lose myself.

Yeah.

And really stay true to who I am. Mm-hmm. I, I lost myself. So truth was the second. The third was strength because I needed strength and confidence to do what I wanted to do and to believe that I could do it. After that was healing.

Because you still all of a sudden you were like, wait, I'm still not totally there yet.

No.

What, what was going on at that point in your life that it was coming up that you're like, okay, this is the word because here's how I'm feeling in this this is gonna help me?

I was in a lot of therapy. Mm-hmm. And I was just seeing who I was and how much, how far I needed to go to change my life. Mm-hmm. And not necessarily change me, but to heal my childhood wounds. Mm-hmm. The wounds I had from the marriage and all the baggage. So healing was an important part. And I love that piece. For me, healing is the sun's energy. So I created kind of an artistic interpretation of the sun. So that's where that one came. After healing, it was peace. And that was inspired basically because I needed to have peace from all the inner work I was doing. And I was feeling a lot of turmoil in my life.

Because when you start that, you're like, oh God, there's more here than I even thought.

Yeah. And then it's unsettling too because you're like, okay, I know I have all this work to do and all this stuff is coming up. Like, how do I be kind to myself? Mm-hmm. And move forward. So I needed that tranquility.

Yeah. I have a friend who says, you'll probably really resonate with this, but my friend Lindsay says, am I still healing or am now I hiding?

Yeah, it's true. It's It's hard. It's hard to know the difference between the two. So I think part of it I was hiding cuz there's, at some point when you're doing all this inner work, you can't keep going cuz it's too much.

No, cuz you'll unearth everything.

Yeah.

Like, cuz we'll always be healing. So you gotta choose, which I love that you're like, it was peace next. Cuz you do have to choose it. You have to go, okay, I think we're good for now.

Right, right.

Let's go over here.

Yes. Yeah. So I did that and then what was it? And then after that I did Rooted. Because I needed to feel grounded. And that one was really fun to create because to me I wanted to have the root chakra. So it's got a crystal on the bottom to represent the root chakra. And then I created these little discs that look like the spinal cord and it's on a chain. So it's a lot of movement. And to me, I needed to be flexible yet still grounded. And that's what that one what meant for me.

That's so cool.

Um, I can't remember what was after that. There's— oh, I think it was wisdom, because we need to find our wisdom to move forward. And then, um, fast forward, what is happening now is I did Ascendant, which is the sun and the moon. It's the rising and finding your true self and following that. So I feel like I've gone from the depths of of the worst of the worst to a healing path. And now it's like finding who I want to be and where I want to go. And then my newest one is Awaken, which is this one, and I just love this one.

That one's gorgeous. That's the one I've been staring at because it's— I love all of them. All of them together are perfection. But that one really is like such a good—

it's a good anchor piece. Yeah. And This one to me represents where I'm at now. I'm awakening my new self. And so this little hole here with the diamond is that inner person that wants to be developed and nurtured. So that's where I'm at right now.

So I loved that journey. That was so much fun. And you've got— you've got beautiful rings. I have two of your rings on right now.

Thank you.

They're stunning. And I love them because I feel like I can even see— I'm like, can I see some of your fingerprints in here? Yes.

I love it.

I love it. And so every piece is like literally touched by you. It's you making it. It's you behind it, right? What is something— do you do any ritual for yourself while you're making jewelry? Because I know that you like literally believe in like infusing yourself in that energy. And so tell me about that.

Well, as the business has grown, I don't make every piece anymore. I do have an assistant who's amazing. And so she helps me a lot with that. But when it comes to making things, especially when it's a new talisman, I will pick a word and then I really think about that word and then I create it. So I do two different ways of making it. One is I create it from just metal and I fabricate it. The other way I do it is I create a wax mold and I'm carving it. So either way, when I'm making it, I'm thinking about that word and what does it mean when I'm creating that new piece? And I don't, I don't sketch because I'm terrible at sketching. So it's all in my head. And so when I'm creating it, it comes out from the inspiration in my mind more than anything. So it's not really a fancy ritual. It's—

Yeah.

Just in my brain and, and transforming it into a physical product.

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My biggest inspiration is on walks.

Same.

I get a lot of stuff from that. Yeah, it's, it's so like, and I, when I go for walks, I don't listen to music. I don't have my headphones comes on, it's just me and my dog and we just walk and it's always these downloads that happen. I don't know if that's true for you too.

Totally.

You're just walking and boom, something comes in my brain. And the other place I get really good ideas is in the shower, which is really hard.

It's hard for a lot of people.

Right? But it's really hard 'cause I'll get a great idea and I'm like, oh, I gotta remember this. And then I get outta the shower and I'm like, dang it, what was I thinking about? Totally.

They've, they've actually made things for shower ideas.

I know.

I don't know if I'm going to ever put a board up in my shower.

I know.

But that's so true. It's very real.

I'm like, dang it. I know. I don't know what it is. I think maybe because you're really relaxed in the warm water or whatever.

Yeah.

No disruptions because people can't call you.

Totally.

I don't know.

I know. My brain just goes crazy.

And the third place where I get a lot of inspiration is tied to the walks is when I go out in nature. You know, it could be at the beach, it could be, you know, there's a couple trails I go on in the city. I'll see something or hear something that'll inspire something. So yeah, I love that.

Talk to me about, um, reinvention for women at every age. How do you feel about that now that you've had— so a topic for me, kind of have you this as a jumping off point for you. I feel really strongly about like the second half of our life can be the best half of our life.

Absolutely.

And I know from the era that you are from and from the cusp of the era that I am from, it's very much after, honestly, it was 35 or 40, everything's downhill. If you don't know what you wanna be, your career, it's just kind of like, oh, it's kind of, it's kind of done for women. You know what I mean? Like your best part of your life was the early part. And now I just have this complete like excitement for everything that's ahead of me because of how you can feel, everything you can do, all of the life that's in front of you. How do you view reinvention now? What would you tell either someone who's going through exactly what you went through or a past version of yourself?

Yes, I, I love this question. Reinvention has no age, and the number one thing I would say to anybody whether it's to my younger self or to anybody who's listening, is reinvention has no age. Reinvention can happen when you're my age. It can happen when you're 20, can happen when you're 40. It's a mindset. So, so don't ever— don't ever limit your reinvention to I can't do it because that's so— that's the biggest fallacy. I totally agree with you too. When I was in my 20s and 30s, I thought, oh, once I hit, you know, 40, life is going to end, right?

And it goes off a cliff, right?

And I mean, you know, when you're in your 20s, 50 is like old and you're like out to pasture, right? Totally. That's what— and now I think about it, I'm like, God, when I was in my 30s and someone said they were 60, I'd be like, oh, go to bed already, you know? But I think once you hit 40 and you're and you get older is we've had so many life experiences that bring us wisdom, and we don't understand how that impacts our life and our reinvention. So for me, like in my 50s and 60s, all the wisdom I've had from child rearing to being married to college experiences, friendships, these lifelong friendships I've had, has given me so much wisdom. And has taught me and formed me for who I am now, that it's enabled me to take a step into the next place. And the other really, really important thing I think for my reinvention is surround yourself with people who inspire you, for one, who have your back. And never question what you're doing, but are always encouraging you to better yourself. Because who you're surrounded with greatly influences where you will be. And I didn't realize how important that was until I got divorced. Negative energy holds you back. So if you feel negative energy in your life, you have to figure out either how do I get rid of it or how do I ignore it and still do what I need to do to be the best person?

So something about you that I'm inspired by is like, you're, you know, you want to grow your business, you want to do new things, you're always open to it. Like there is, there is a mindset with some people, even over, even over my age at 45, and I don't want to keep saying age, but I do because you are, you're somebody who You're like, I want to grow my business, I want to get better at social, I want to do this other thing. And you literally join the mastermind, you do the thing, you go to the places because you want to continue growing. Like you had said, and like from my generation as well, growth mindset is not— it's not a normal thing. It's not. It's very much like against the grain. So for you, how do you try to stay in that? Are your friends like this? Like, do you intentionally go out and seek it? What does that look like? And does anybody in your life kind of go, oh man, she's doing something again.

The, oh man, she's doing something again happens a lot. You know, I mean, my friends, they're great, but I think in the back of their mind they were like, what is she doing? Not in a negative way, but they're just kind of like, oh my God, she's doing what? Yeah. But I think it's really, really important to be uncomfortable.

Hmm.

And the other thing is, is age is a mindset. In my mind, people laugh at me when I say this. In my mind, I think I'm 45.

I totally get that.

And that's real.

Yeah.

And if you think, if you put yourself at like, if I, if I lived in the moment of I'm 62 and I can't, I would never do anything.

Anything.

But I've learned by joining masterminds and surrounding myself with people who are 10 million steps ahead of me— it's really like, you and Chris are so inspiring because of all the stuff you've done, and it gives me hope that I can do it too.

And you, you literally— one of my favorite things about you is that you will want to learn something, and I'll watch you learn it and then go great immediately. And so I think that time that you collapse in between from integration, it was like, I remember I was like, Anne, try this thing on Instagram because you're so stylish. And then all of a sudden the next day I think I saw a reel and I was like, that is, that is how you grow, is you're really willing to go try something on and not worry. I'm sure you worry a little about it, like we all do, for sure. Yeah, but like you don't think too much about it, and that's growth. Tell, just tell me about kind of how you face the discomfort? Because you're like, it's so important to do that. How do you keep that in your life? And how do you keep the mental chatter of what happens after the post, or after going out there to a new trunk show, or in front of people, or, you know, putting yourself out there? How do you deal with the afterthoughts?

Yeah, those afterthoughts and that, you know, your mind telling you, oh, you're a failure, you know, all that is, is hard. That chatter is really hard to turn off. But I think the thing that keeps me going is, what if I succeed? What if something happens if I do it? And I'll never know if I don't do it, you know. And I think I learned this from you, is the more uncomfortable you are, the more you need to do it, right? It just means that there's something there for you to to discover. And I think that's what I learned in therapy, because when you're in therapy, it's not so much about trying to, to fix the other person or to fix yourself. It's self-discovery of who you are. That's what I learned in therapy. So facing who you are helped me to take that leap in my business as well. Mm-hmm. Right. Because I have to face all the deficiencies I have in the business. I mean, because, you know, when you run a business, it's a mirror. Oh, God. All the failures, right? All the failures show up and you're like, oh, that's why that happened. It's because I'm not good at this or because I don't know this or whatever. But because of that, it makes you look at what you need to work on. Mm-hmm. So for me, like, the social part was really hard because I'd look at myself in the camera and I'm like, oh, my hair looks dumb. I stuttered or I said the wrong thing. And it's so much self-judgment.

Totally for everyone, right?

And I think it was freeing when I talked to other people and you about that, that we all do it, that I wasn't just this weirdo and it was me. And that helped me to figure out, okay, I just need to not listen to that voice and to do it. And, and I learned from it, like, okay, this worked, this didn't work, I need to do this. And using the knowledge to just keep taking baby steps, it doesn't have to be a giant step. It's just now I post every day, now I create new reels, you know.

And I've loved talking to you. This So much fun.

Thank you.

Truly. And you guys, I hope that you go check out all of her jewelry, especially whenever I talk to you, I think of certain people that I'm like, oh gosh, they could absolutely use this or they would love it, let alone of course I would love it. Go buy one for yourself, go buy one for a friend. But you have a special for all of the listeners.

Yes.

So $25 off goes towards your purchase if you DM her the word meaning or We're gonna make this super easy, you guys. If you immediately know that you want to have a piece of her world because it is so impactful, you can scroll down. There's a link down there and you can just go straight to the link and you can use the code MEANING. So instead of going to her Instagram page, which we want you to do anyway, all show notes are literally right below this episode.

Great. Thank you.

Um, so that they can follow you, they can find you, they can go learn more about you. Truly, you are such an inspiration. So if anybody really resonated with her story, you've been putting out such good content about your story.

Thank you.

And I think that's really important. That's how amazing people are finding you and getting into your world and wearing all of your jewelry. And I hope that I get to see so many necklace stacks out in the world after this. And I'm so grateful for you. Thank you so much for coming on.

Thank you so much, Lori Harder.

Yes. Until next time, you guys earn your happy. Bye, everyone.