How Your Energy Shapes Everything You Attract (Mic drop Moments From Your FAV Quickies)

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By the end of 2025, your friend group could look totally different.

I believe every single thing that has happened to me truly has happened for me to evolve into the person that I came here to be. Brene Brown says your story is someone else's survival guide.

In order for you to take leaps, it's not going to be as crazy as you think in terms of workload. It is your internal work. If you change these things, the way that you perceive things is going to be the thing that's going to change the game for you.

Hey everyone, welcome back to the Earn your happy podcast. Today's episode is another throwback, one of my favorite conversations. And and you guys know that I've had this podcast for eight years, so if you're newer to the podcast, I have literally recorded over 1400 episodes, you guys.

So I want to make sure that.

You don't miss any of these super amazing, juicy conversations that I have chosen just for you. Because I can't tell you about the wealth of knowledge that is in this freaking catalog of throwbacks.

I don't want you to miss it.

It's truly what has changed my life and helped me on my journey of growth in entrepreneurship, in relationships, in personal development.

And I know that these messages are.

Gonna hit you in the same kind.

Of powerful way that they hit me.

So I hope that you love this one as much as I do.

And let's get started. Hey everyone, welcome back to the show. It's time for another quickie because there's always time to fit in inspiration and I wanna wish you a happy new year, you guys.

Happy 2024. We did. Doesn't matter where you are right now.

Or what you are feeling. It's one of those things that you're probably going to roll your eyes if you're not in a great place right now. But I promise you, you are exactly where you're meant to be. And if you have been following me or the podcast at all, I recently have kind of come out of one of those seasons. And when I say seasons, it TR three year period that felt like a winter. It felt like nothing good was happening. And I was in the hardest experience of my life mentally, business wise, physically. It's like I just felt like nothing was ever going to be the way that it used to be or feel really good again. And it's a crazy thing for me to even say that because looking at my life, it was amazing. And sometimes I think that we can all have incredibly blessed lives and beautiful families and we don't necessarily share where we're at because we feel like no matter how we feel, we should be grateful. And feeling grateful and feeling like you're in a winter season are two things that can absolutely live together. It doesn't mean that you're not grateful because you are in a winter season. It means that you are probably in a season of deep transformation and growth. You are probably, probably going from one big chapter of your life, one big section of your life, into the next. So wherever you're at right now, I just want to say it is the perfect spot. And whether you can see the lesson that this season has brought or whether you can't see it yet, I promise you that if you just keep going, the other side will come. Because life is just all seasons now. Maybe you're listening and you are ready to go. Maybe you're feeling like me, where you just came out of what felt like the longest winter of your life and it is fricking springtime and it is time to go create new things, collaborate with a bunch of new people, be out in the world. Like you have this 2024 energy that you want to share with everyone. And that is definitely where I'm at right now. And I'm really, really excited about that. So you guys will be hearing a lot on the podcast. I'm sure. This year is really some rocket fuel energy. So depending on where you're at, you can tune in for some rocket fuel energy. And today I want to chat with you all about your perspective on how you're viewing your daily habits. So I'm reading an incredible book right now. I'm only in chapter three, so don't judge me if you read it and you don't like the rest.

But I'm going to give you some.

Cliff Notes that I've gotten already in three chapters, and it is called the Gap and the Gain. And the reason that I want to share a little bit about what I'm learning right now is because it is not going to be these giant leaps that you do every single week, or these things where you feel so overwhelmed by your new habits of 2024 that you're trying to incorporate. Those are not going to be the things that are actually going to work and get you to where you want to go. It's by focusing on the small, mundane habits that equal success that are gonna get you to where you wanna go. And I'm gonna start off just by saying it's gonna be the things where you focus on your health, where you focus on moving your body, and you focus on just getting in rooms with people who think big, who are doing the things that you wanna be doing. It's about making yourself uncomfortable and learning, growing, just reading. So, honestly, if you could just do a few things this year would be to eat better, move every single day. I don't even think you need to.

Go to the gym.

I just think even if you just take a walk every single day for 30 to 60 minutes, you're going to change your entire life and listen to something positive while you go on that walk. Now, that is like next level. That's going to bring you to the next level and then getting in the rooms with the people who are going to expand you because you're not going to be able to graduate to the next level with your current environment, which is your people. Right. We always talk about how you can't graduate high school with your kindergarten teacher. You have to go on to first grade, fifth grade, seventh grade, twelfth grade, and you have to have all of those different teachers in order to elevate you to the next level. So we expect to go to the next level without new teachers, and I just don't believe that it can be done. We have to go tap into books, podcasts, and people who are on that next level version of themselves and next level thinking. All right, so that's the first reminder, is that it's not going to be these big giant leaps done all the.

Time that are gonna get you to.

Where you wanna go, that's gonna burn you out. Of course, I always talk about taking.

Big leaps, but you don't have to.

Do them so frequently that you're always freaked out by them and that you are constantly feeling burnt out and you just quit altogether. It' small habits done frequently that are really gonna create that foundation for when you take that big leap, or you're gonna feel like you're ready for the big leap. You're gonna feel confident enough for the big leap and you'll be Able to take them more without them wearing you out, because your foundation is so strong. But the next thing I wanna remind you is that this book talks about how you perceive the habits that you're doing is going to greatly affect your outcome. So what do I mean by that?

That means that when you go and do that walk and when you go.

And do that workout, if you actually believe it's making you better no matter what, even if you don't see the results right away, like if you go into the workout and you fully believe this is good for me, this is good for my mental health, this is good for the longevity of my health, this is good for my muscles, this is good for staying strong throughout my lifetime, this is what's going to put me in a really good mood. Your perception of how you think about the habits that you are doing actually impacts your outcome. And in this book they talk about a bunch of studies that were done with different groups of people who, they did the same workouts, they ate the same exact shake every single day for real. And they split these different people up. And the one group who did not view it as anything that was doing anything good for them or special for them, and they were already kind of negative about it, actually saw a decrease in what they were doing. Whereas the people who believed it was a good thing actually increased their gains. They got more fit, their blood markers all went down, everything got healthier because of how they perceived it while not doing anything different. And you guys, they actually did studies like this in a bunch of different categories. And every single group that perceived the habit that they were doing as really good for them, even if it was just sleeping, getting your eight hours of sleep, this increased the positive outcome that they had.

And I will tell you that I've.

Always had this idea around working out.

That whether I like the workout or.

Not, even if it's a small workout, even if it's just a walk, I always say things to myself like, moving is the best thing I can do for myself. It's the best thing I can do for my mental health. Moving is the most self love thing that I can possibly do today. And it does that for me. It absolutely has results that I cannot argue in my life that have impacted me more than I can possibly tell you. And this is also how I perceive challenge. So when you look at how you are confronting challenge in your life, if you believe challenge can make you better, it will. And there's studies to prove it. It's all about how you are perceiving the things that are coming at you. So in the end, no matter what happens, good, bad, whatever, if you perceive it with amazingness and that it's going to help you on your journey and it's going to help you become the person that you want to be in 2024 for, then it absolutely is. And this is not just positive talk talking. This book has all of the studies in it that you can actually review, which is so cool. So if you guys love that, you can go and check it out and learn about all the studies. But I want to remind you that in order for you to take leaps in 2024, it's not going to be as crazy as you think in terms of workload. It is your internal work. If you change these things, the way that you perceive things, the food that you're eating, is this food good for you or do you think it's bad for you?

Right?

Like, even if it's unhealthy, are you going, this is going to make me fat. This isn't good for me. This is.

Yeah, we all do it.

We all eat foods that aren't great.

But if you perceive it as it's.

Not really affecting me that much, I'll get right back on. I eat mostly healthy. Like, perceive everything as it's working in your favor. P.S. not an excuse to go to in n out 247 and think that it's good for you and it's going to be great for you. I don't know, maybe that should be a study. Please let me know if you do it. Get 10 of your friends together, but tell me your outcome. But make sure that you are taking care of yourself. And remember, it's going to be the way that you perceive what already is in your life is going to be the thing that's going to change the game for you, because you can change the way you perceive it and what already is can completely be the thing. Things that can bring you to your next level because you changed how you're viewing them. All right, you guys, I'm so grateful for you. I would love if you shared this podcast with someone. All you have to do is text it to somebody if you know that.

They would love it or they just.

Need a quick mindset shift or if they're in the mode where they need a quick podcast for 2024. I'm telling you, these quickies, they're that.

Thing that you can just turn on.

While you're getting ready.

It's not a big commitment and. And it's just a reminder of how to perceive things for the day because that is going to be some of the biggest impact that you can do. I'm so grateful for you. I am sending you so much love, you guys. I don't know if you know this, but if you go to my YouTube channel, you can watch all of the interviews that I am now filming in person. So if you're someone who likes to watch interviews up on your TV while you're cleaning your house, you can throw that up there. Because now all of my podcast interviews are in person and I have been recording those for about the past three to four months and it's been super fun and they are all coming out now. So I just wanted to tell you that I'm just grateful for this evolution of I think seven or eight years with you guys talking into an empty room for so long, wondering who I'm talking to. And now I actually get to see my guests face to face. But I still get to talk in an empty room to you right now, which is what I'm doing. But I'm picturing all of you walking, driving, running, wherever you are. I think of all of you. Okay? I'm sending you so much love, you guys. Happy 2024. I believe that this is your year if you believe that it is.

Until next time, earn your happy.

Bye everyone. Welcome back to the earn your happy podcast. It's time for another quickie because there's always time to fit in inspiration and I am legitimately fitting this. In between some mastermind sessions that we are having up in Napa, California, I put together a group of to come together to hang out, to come to One Hope winery and just get together, get to know each other better and talk about business. And we are up here staying on the property and it's been the most magical experience of incredible food, incredible wine and incredible conversations. So this is your reminder that if there's something that you want to go and create or if there's something lacking in your life or if you want a deepen relationship, it is up to you to work really hard to cultivate that. And this used to be a dream of mine, to be together with amazing, high achieving women coming together to talk about just things that felt like they matter and getting help in your life, your relationships in your business from other amazing people. And I didn't have that. And so I've spent the last decade or so and really in the last like seven years working hard to figure out how to cultivate these relationships. And let me tell you, it's not easy, but it's worth it. And there's definitely been a lot of heartbreak along the way. But you can't ever give up, right? It's just like a relationship. Just because 1 goes bad or 2.

Go bad or 3 go bad, you don't give up.

Because relationships truly are life. So if it's something you want, you have to be willing to be rejected. And this conversation has come up a lot here because you really have to develop thick skin, and that's not the easiest thing to do. So if right now you're thinking that you want a deeper relationship, the first place to start is to think of exactly the type of people that you want in your life. And so I would write this list down, like, maybe it's people that you.

See on the Internet.

And what I want you to be attached to and detached from. I want you to attach to the personality type and the things that you like about that person and why you like that. But I want you to be detached from it actually having to be that person. And so that's where I went wrong in the beginning, is that I saw people on the Internet and, you know, authors that I loved and books that changed my life, and speakers that changed my life. And I thought that I had to be their friends, even though they were so far beyond the path that I was on. They had a lot more life experience. They had a lot more business experience. I was like, no, I need those people to be friends. And while some of them are my friends now, years and years later, there are many that aren't. And there are many that I'm glad I didn't become friends with them. Not because they're bad people, but because it's not an energetic fit anyway. And when we're first starting out on wanting these relationships, sometimes we can come from a place of lack. And maybe we want the relationship because we think we'd be in the popular group. Maybe we want the relationship because we.

Would feel validated about something.

Maybe we want the relationship because we think that they could do something for us. So when I let go of those things, it took me a little while being completely honest here, because I want you to give an honest assessment of yourself. Like, is there that side of you that's a little bit of an egoic side of why we want to be friends with someone? And, guys, this goes way back in history for survival, right? I mean, like, even if you not going way back in history, I want you guys to think about, like, your high school, like you wanted to be with the popular kids, or even if you didn't, you wanted to be liked within some sort of group, because that was like survival in high school, right? Like, you think of the movie Mean Girls, and it's. It's like, oh, my God, you all find your ways to fit in and survive. So I want you to think of.

The parts of you that it's like.

Oh, yeah, like, honestly, if I really thought about hanging out with that person, I'm not even sure what.

What that would look like or what.

Would we talk about or what would we do? And so I want you to hold tight to the type of person and the way that they make you feel and start looking for that amongst the people that are maybe a little more attainable. Maybe it's the event attendees of that person's event, right? So if you love what that person stands for, see if they have an event, see if they have some sort of online group, see what they're into, go to it. Because most likely they're attracting the type of person that you would want to hang around. And so this is what I really started doing. I was like, okay, well, I love Tony Robbins.

Okay.

I love Gabby Bernstein. Okay, who's going, like, who would want.

To go with me?

Who's in the audience?

Who can I meet?

Clearly, we have some sort of something in common here, because what's going to happen is you're all going to be able to create a relationship much quicker based on kind of this desired goal and where you're at and these shared core values, rather than striving to be friends with people who are so busy that they wouldn't even necessarily have time anyway because they're so far ahead of you. And this was a huge lesson for me. I've shared this quite a bit on the podcast, on stage, in my books, and I hope that it creates a shift for you, too. Like, it's really easy to get caught up and look at people and think that you need to be in that popular friend group or you want to be in that group of those people who are, you know, crushing it in a certain industry. And while, yes, of course, I think that there's things that we should aspire to, I think that there's rooms we should absolutely try to get into. There is, like, a time on your journey for that, and there are things that you can do simultaneously while also cultivating really beautiful, deep, more attainable friendships for where you want to go on a similar path of where another person is wanting to go to, like, where you're kind of at the same level and you can give back to each other and really support each other. That is a type of friendship that I cannot even tell you how beautiful and how deep that can go.

How when you're both on your come.

Up or when you're both like very like minded around what you want to do, that is huge. So you guys, while we have been doing this mastermind, we have been drinking tons of glossy because we're also eating a lot of food and drinking a lot of wine. So it's definitely been one of those trips where I brought a water bottle and a box of Glosi for every single woman here. So there's six of us and we've been slamming glossy. So if you are like in the middle of really wanting to make sure your holidays just feel a little more grounded, a little more hydrated, that you're staying on track with, you know, some of your wellness routine because we all know the holidays are coming up. And I swear the thing that goes first is our wellness routine. Just drink your glossy in the morning and drink it in the evening like I do and like we have been doing here, it's like that thing that keeps you grounded, feeling good, feeling hydrated. You're going to get your zinc, you're going to get your probiotic, it's going to help your digestion. You're going to at least wake up and feel like you. You can still feel regular, which is huge. You guys, there's nothing worse than feeling like you haven't gone to the bathroom in three days. You know what I'm talking about? It's a nightmare. So go check it out. You can go to getglosy.com and use code Happy. And I hope that if this resonated with you, this podcast, this message, that you'll actually make it a goal in 2025. Because by the end of 2025, your friend group could look totally different. Like if you're really struggling right now and you do not feel supported, your friend group can drastically change in one year. I'm not saying that you are going to find people who you ultimately feel like insane best friends with at the end of next year, but you could find people who you could well be on your way or at least feel like you have a support group of like minded people. And really it just takes one. It just takes one person who gets you in the beginning and then all of a sudden there's two, then there's three, then there's 10.

It's crazy.

Like I've been saying gratitudes in this group and it's just like I'm so grateful for this and I also have been acknowledging myself like I'm so grateful for what I created because the version of me that started this was so scared and hated being rejected and was so shy. Yet I I wanted to be. I wanted to feel connected, I wanted to stop feeling lonely more than I was afraid. So if that's you, life is literally only as rich as the relationships that you have. So I hope that you start putting way more energy into your relationships in 2025. Because you know, it's crazy. It's like as I get older, it seems to be the conversation for women that they don't like getting older. But because my relationships have been getting richer, I just feel like I'm around people who make me like who I am more. And I pray for that for you. So you guys, I hope that this helped and until next time, earn your happy. Bye everyone.

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Hey everyone, welcome back to the earn your happy podcast.

It's time for another quickie because there's.

Always time to fit in inspiration. And I just posted the most delicious spicy margarita mocktail recipe that you will ever have in your entire life. I'm literally only telling you because it has changed my life. I'm telling you that like on the weekends, if I'm like, oh my God, I'm just really craving a cocktail or at home at night, I'm trying to drink less because I just feel so much better in my life is super demanding right now in a great way. And that is something that is making me so excited for the evening. I'm like, oh my goodness, I get my little break with my spicy margarita. And you guys, it has a stick of glossy in it. So we actually call it a spicy marglorita because it's good for your skin and gut too. But if you want to check that out, you can go to my Instagram or get Glossy's Instagram at get Glocy. And you'll see the little margarita shaker on there with the spicy margarita recipe. But I'm not kidding you when I say it's the best one I have ever had in my life. This was made by Liquid caterers when we did our activation at Powerhouse Women. And now we did an activation this last weekend at Girlfriends in Business, so we had them there. And we did another activation at the Body Gym when we did one there. And everybody, everybody, everybody freaking raves. They're like, I literally, like, my mind is blown at how good this is.

I'm not kidding.

If you love a spicy marg, I actually think it's the best one I've ever had in my life without alcohol. How that happens, I don't know. I think it's the cucumber juice mixed with, like, the lime and the jalapeno and the agave. It's incredible. Mixed with some glossy in there. So go and check that out. And also, if you need to get some glossy for this, you can go to getglocee.com and use code happy for 25% off. So let's talk about the weekend that I just had. We just finished Girlfriends and Business. It is all about growing your business and your network. And what I do at this event is I invite in my favorite women. Like, women who have impacted my life in some way. So every single person that comes in speaks has either had an impact on my life or my business. It's someone that I know. It's women that I've either taken their courses or learned from. Like, these are incredible experts in their arenas. And we had Hala Taha, who runs YAP Media, and she was so freaking knowledgeable about podcasts. Like, the whole room either wanted to get on a podcast, had a. A podcast, or wanted to launch a podcast. So, of course, having Hala there was such a gift because she is literally, like, the podcast princess right now, truly. And we had my friend Aaron King there, who is one of the best speakers I have ever heard in my entire life. She is a professional speaker. It is what she does for a living. She is booked and busy traveling all over the world delivering keynotes. And this particular keynote is one that I'm going to talk about today on the show. We also have had the incredible Rebecca Cafeiro from the Pitch Club, who taught us how to actually take all of these relationships that we made in the room and make them work for you. And that was an incredible framework that just blew my mind. How to make coffee, chats, and everything like that work for you and how you meet all of these different people in so many different ways. We had Katherine Zankina there, who is Manifestation Babe, if you guys don't follow, I have been following her work for so long before we became friends, and then when we became friends I'm like, this is the coolest thing ever, because now I get to have you in my life. So she talked all about manifesting the courses and launch of your dreams, and it was just really cool to get a full inside look at every single thing that she does. We had Dr. Amy Shaw there, who has grown just the craziest, biggest brand online with millions of followers on different platforms, and she is a doctor. It's really, like, not a normal thing for a doctor to be able to grow such a huge brand. And if some people are like, we talked about this in the room. Some people are like, yeah, but it's easier for you.

You're a doctor.

It's actually not easy for them.

It's more risky.

And it's something that is a bigger.

Challenge to do online.

And I'm telling you, she just, like, really found her niche. And she talked about all the different ways that she doesn't. She doesn't necessarily follow a routine, but her routine is tapping into being authentic before every single thing that she does. And she really went deep on talking all about that. Then I had my friend Lindsay Schwartz. We did a Q and A for the whole room. Wrapping up the day. And back to. I want to.

What? I want to get back to.

I've been thinking about this a lot. I want to get back to Aaron King's talk. And she opened up the day, and it was all about energy. She did a study for over a year with thousands of people talking about energy being one of the key factors of what makes a person successful. Like one of the main factors of what makes a person successful. Because at the end of the day, I really believe people are not necessarily buying what you're saying selling. I think they're buying your energy, they're buying your certainty, and they're buying your belief. And I think that the outcome of certainty and belief is energy. I think that you go through your life very magnetic because you're energized. You feel alive and awake when you work on feeling certain and when you work on your beliefs. So this got me to thinking, what.

Are some of the beliefs that are.

Making you not feel energized and are making you trapped in a spiral of negative thinking over and over, which lowers your energy? So I believe she used a scale. We'll have her on the podcast we're having her on really soon. So she used a scale of like 1 to 7. And it was people who were, like, in 5 through 7 who were the most successful as far as the energy scale. And I'm thinking, you know, if you rated yourself right now, today, in this very moment, listening to this PO Podcast, or before you turn this podcast on, right? Because sometimes things can energize us. What would your energy level be? Because if you're not in that five to seven, and this is one out of seven, so five to seven. If you're not in that five to seven frame, you're probably not attracting the things that you want or creating the things that you want, because that's really kind of like the frame is, this is what I took from it. That's really the place where you're going to get the all. All the good ideas and track to all the people that you want and create the life that you want. So if you're measuring throughout the day under that particular, you know, if you're like, yeah, I'm lower than a five, you're probably not moving towards the life that you want. So what are the things that you're trapped in? And I was really thinking about some of the beliefs that people have and that I've had in the past. And it is one of the beliefs that keep me up in that, like, 5 to 7 range majority of the time are that I can't make a bad decision. I can't make a wrong decision, and no decision that I've ever made was bad or wrong. And, you know, that might, like, blow your minds because you might be like, yeah, but what about this one time I did this, or I said this, or I hurt this person, or I felt stupid here? I felt so ashamed, or this happened in my life or, you know, this put me into victim mode and I can't get out. I really, really. This might seem crazy to some of you. I believe every single thing that has happened to me truly has happened for me to evolve into the person that I came here to be. And that simple belief system alone of working so hard to know that something good came out of every bad thing, whether that was just for me to get more of a backbone, for me to get stronger, or for me to relate to someone I once could not relate to and help them out. Brene Brown says, your story and that thing that happened to you, your story is someone else's survival guide. So even if it was just to get the survival guide for someone else, that is my belief. And that keeps me from going to these places of, like, you know, those fights in your head with those people where you're like, like, if I just could say this, I'd show them. Or I'D win that. Or I'd say how bad they are. I'd tell everyone what a narcissist they are. I'd tell everyone how they wronged me or how they did this or took this money or like, set me back. All of those conversations are pulling you below a seven, guys. They're pulling you below a five.

And that means that it's only hurting you.

It's only stopping people from being attracted attracted to you. It's only stopping people from coming into your courses, into your business, buying your stuff, because you're trapped in a cycle of believing that something bad happened and you made a bad decision or you didn't do something right, or someone came in and cursed your life. And when we believe that or we think that, or we feel that, it lowers that vibration which then pushes everything away. So I'm not saying be a pushover. I'm not saying let people walk on you. I'm saying create the boundary or leave or, you know, protect yourself, but then forgive, bless and release and believe that it happened for you, it happened for you. So you know how to keep it out of your life again. So you know how to create that boundary. And so you know how to give someone their survival guide and relate to people and have compassion and be a more loving person and be able to help more people on a level you could not help them before. If we don't go through these experiences, you don't get to help people, we don't get to understand people. And it moves us further away from what I believe is about feeling one with everyone, understanding that the world, that we're all sharing the same kind of experience in this world. So, you guys, I hope this helps you today. I hope that you look at those beliefs that are pulling you out of being a 5 to 7. And I can't wait for you to listen to Aaron King's podcast, which is. Which is coming in the next couple months. Otherwise, you have to get in the room with us at Girlfriends In Business too. It's just such a fun next level experience. If you're truly ready to put your stake in the ground and grow your business and your network, you leave with the best business besties ever. But I believe we're gonna be doing another one in February or March. I don't have the date yet. I'm gonna share on here about a save the date too. And I'm sending you so much love. Thank you guys for listening. If you love this, send it to someone who needs it. Go follow the podcast. Go send us or give us a review because that means the world. If this has given you value, you can stop right now, go on the podcast app, give us a five star review if you feel we deserve it, and then leave a review. Maybe it's something that has shifted for you, changed your life, but that truly is how these podcasts thrive. And guys, it's been eight years, so if you've been listening for eight years, all I ask is that you head on over, follow and leave a review. I appreciate you so much and I will talk to you next week.

Bye, everyone.