Let Go of Silent Beliefs Holding You Back and Go All-In On Your Dream

And a big thank you to the sponsors of this podcast, Moonpig. Order your holiday cards and more. Try your first card free with code free at moonpig.com forward/us forward/happy and openphone. Get 20 off with open phone on your first six months when you sign up at openphone.com forward/earn and shopify. Sign up for your one month trial period at shopify.com forward/happy found. Try found for free at found.com earn and constant contact. Get customized marketing campaigns built for you in just a few clicks. Go to constantcontact.com for your free trial. We can do all the actionable things in the world, but if you are holding that little unconscious little secret to yourself, conflicting belief, you will be fighting a double uphill battle. It's working on letting that go and figuring out how you can become the person who's all in on the dre.

And we're back with another episode of.

He Said, she Said.

And I love the subject that we're about to get into today, but you know, I gotta ask you your glossy tip. Gotta keep it going.

Glossy tip. It's that time of year. You guys are gonna hit January 1st and you are going to be wishing that you ordered your glossy to help you feel less bloated and to have something that you can get into a routine right away. It's going to help you drink more water, it's going to help you get that glowing skin. It's going to help with your gut health. And that is such a huge part of feeling better, feeling healthier for so many people, they have health goals, they want to lose weight. I'm telling you, if you want to absorb more nutrients, feel better, feel less bloated, wake up feeling leaner. This is such a great kickstart. And you guys stay tuned. We're going to be doing a free glossy challenge that you can all join. So make sure you go, go follow the Instagram as well. So you can go to getglosey.com and use code happy and that's getglossy. G e t g l o c I.com all right?

And I just want to add something too to that. Like straight up, no agenda. Not because you're my wife, not because it's your product. The dude's version of this. I take two a day and I feel really, like, way debloated, like way leaner and feel way better because I don't drink water otherwise. And when I don't take two a day, I don't Feel that way. Last night we had sushi.

Drink water.

Last night we went out for sushi. Before I went to bed, I got a double glossy water and I woke up feeling, you know, not bloated like I normally do after sushi. I'm telling you, this is the key to fix any damage that you do over the holidays. So, seriously, go to getglosi.com and use coupon code. Happy to get 25% off. All right, One more thing, too. The applications coming in for the elite level Mastermind, which you are now a part of. Running. Yes. God, I freaking love that you're part of this now. Have been awesome. They are now just like someone turned on the faucet and they're flowing in. But to give you an idea and don't let this shy you away from applying, it's our job to curate the perfect room where everything you need is in that room or one ask away. Right. And so not all applications make it to an interview. And yesterday I went through about 40 of them and I said about 12 interviews. So I want the best possible applications in front of me. I want the best possible people in that room who are absolutely going to be incredible collaborators with each other, locking arms for an entire year and help us fulfill that promise so that we have diversity in the room so that everything that you want that year is in that room or one introduction away.

I can't wait.

Yeah. So literally, just hit pause real quick. If you're going to make over 500 grand in 2025, just hit pause and go to Chrishard Me Mastermind and click apply. That's Chris Harder. Me Mastermind. Go find the Apply button and click Apply. And then I'll look through the applications. I'll set an appointment to jump on Zoom with you and make sure it's a perfect fit. All right, here's why I love today's subject. You can't want two opposite things at once and think you're going to have a good outcome. And I have done this, like, my whole life. Like, people might outside looking and be like, oh, you guys are a success story. Oh, you guys do so well. Yes. But on different scales. We're nowhere near, nowhere near our dreams. And I'm only going to speak about me. I can't speak about you. I have held us back so many times by wanting opposite things. And I'm going to give you an example, and I'll let you weigh in on this.

I'm all ears.

I simultaneously say things like, I don't want a big team at the same very next breath, I'm like, I wish our brands were three times bigger. You know what I mean? Making three times more money. Those two things can't coexist.

Yep.

Yet I say them both like they're both truth. And so what does that do? It causes you to be stuck in the middle of the two. And being stuck in the middle is a worse place to be. Either be all the way one way or all the way the other way. That is the only happiness zone. Yeah, stuck in the middle is the unhappiness zone. You're always wishing you had both things and you have neither. So what's one of your examples where you wish for opposite things and it gets you stuck in the middle?

Well, it's not only wishing for opposite things because some of you are going to be like, you may have a clear one. Some of you are like, I, I don't know. No, I don't have an opposite thing. I really want more money. I really want the big house. I really want that friend group. Right. But unconsciously you have a conflicting belief that you have to get to the root of. So I'll use a basic one. There's so many people who want to be in an up leveled friend group and you're like, God damn, damn it, why can't I get in this friend group? Like, why aren't they letting me in? Why am I not attracting those people? But unconsciously, you know that in order to stay in that friend group and in order to continue to grow and be the version of the person who can add value to that friend group, that maybe you have to stop doing some habits you don't want to be doing. Maybe you secretly really like getting shit faced on the weekends and that won't really apply in this particular group. That's just a random example. Maybe you feel like, oh my God, now I have to be really accountable to these goals. And you know what, honestly, I really love slacking off and partying on the weekends a little bit, or I really love watching my Netflix and I can't seem to let that go to reach these goals that I'm telling people.

Boy, that makes sense. Like, oh, I really want to be a part of this group or why can't I have a group of friends like that? And at the same time you're like, oh, I know they're going to demand more out of me. I know they're going to demand a better me.

They're going to hold you.

And I like, you know, having these party nights, I Kind of like having these lazy days or whatever it might be. And listen, there's no right or wrong way to do life. This whole point is you can't want two things that oppose each other because you're just going to get stuck in the middle. And whether that's a subconscious want or a conscious want, because you're right, a lot of this is subconscious.

And I have another example. So for me personally, it's like, you know, I have a goal of what I want to hit with Glossy this year, and I have a goal of what we want to hit with our personal brands. And I have an underlying conflicting belief that I've discovered of I already feel exhausted, I'm going to feel too exhausted if I'm going to set those goals. So I secretly have been sabotaging myself without even realizing it because I'm like, yes, I want that, but I've been really afraid to actually commit my soul to it. Like to commit my brain to it a hundred percent. Because I'm so afraid that I'm going to burn, burn out. Like, for me, if I don't get some downtime and if I don't get some fun time, I don't get the ideas that can get me to those numbers. So for me, what I'm writing down, what I'm doing to get over this. So if you just found that you have a conflicting belief, what I want you to do first is to write down the things that you want to do. And then I want you to go into the nooks and crannies of your brain and figure out what is a belief that could potentially be holding you back around getting that thing. Like, where is it challenging you?

Where did it come from?

Where did it even come from? What are you afraid of?

I have an example. And this can be good for everybody. Lori just nailed it. You guys, you got to dig deep. Like, take the time to dig deep. Say, where did this story come from? Because all it is is a story. Lori can quadruple glossy and quadruple our personal brand and still not be too busy. So we know these are stories we're making up because there's ways around everything. So I'll give you example. We were in Costa Rica, and I'm not going to name the names, but we were with a couple that we're good friends with. And I'm like, hey, man, how's it going? I haven't seen you in a while. And he's like, honestly, not good. And I'm like, oh, God, you know what's? Going on. Why is it not going well? He's like, I just woke up one day and felt like all I do is manage people. And they had a great big company. It was thriving, and I was expecting to be like, oh, my God, this is awesome. It's great. This is winning, and that's winning. And it was the first time this very positive person I had ever seen him kind of, like, disappointed or dejected or, like, not in a great spot. And he went on to say, he's like, you know, I started out growing this thing by just doing what we love, and we did what we love so well that we started bringing on lots of people to support it. And then our dreams got really big, and then we needed a really big team. He goes, and now I wake up and all you do is hire and fire and manage human issues and be responsible for, like, these 50 people. And that moment stuck with me. I was like, oh, I don't ever want to wake up and say, oh, what happened to the fun days? Now all I do is manage and hire and fire. And so that's always weighed on me. And instead of saying, well, that's one person's version of it, there's different ways to get there. That's where my I don't want a big team yet. I have these big dreams conflict came from.

And I feel the same way because I actually do not want a big team in Gloce. I want to run it small and tight. And so what I am doing is I'm looking for examples of companies who do have smaller teams and how they're doing that. And I'm not saying that we have to stay small. Like, maybe the number is bigger than I thought, but how are they managing these people? And look for the stories that are the good stories, because for as many negative stories as there are, there are plenty that are like, we love our team. Like, we're obsessed. We've got someone who's so good at managing team and they love doing it and they love company culture that we don't really even have to do that. And so that's something that I am clinging to. And also this year, it's like, I'm doing a lot of work around getting the help that I need to break through kind of these plateau areas. I'm getting help in social media. I'm getting help with media training. I'm getting help with storytelling, all of these things that I'm like, no, I don't need help. I should just be good at this. I can Go learn on my own. No, I cannot. I need someone to help me. I need someone to kind of create the guidebook for me that I can follow. And I need. Oh, my God, do I need accountability? And that's changing my life because it's dates in the calendar where I meet with the people to get the work done. Because if it's just done on my own, I don't do it.

You know, you just said something. I want to make sure everybody caught it. If step one is identifying where the limiting belief came from, conscious or subconscious, then step two is what Lori said, and that is you need to go find new evidence to support the dream that you do have in the way you want to have it. Because there's always two examples of every single story out there. Always. So, sure, there's plenty of people saying, oh, my team's too big and I'm not having fun managing them. But then for every one of them, there's one or two people saying, actually, I dialed in perfect. I've got the perfect CEO or CEO or perfect chief of staff, and they run everything, and I just do the creative. And there's always a story for both versions. I call it stacking evidence. You have to go out and purposely look for and stack the evidence in your favor for the belief that you want to hold, because the evidence isn't going to fall in your lap. Lap. You want to know what falls in your lap. The loudest information falls in your lap. And the loudest information is typically the complainers, always. And so it's not going to fall in your lap. All these good examples, you have to actively say, okay, I'm going to go stack evidence to reinforce the beliefs that I do want to have. And I'm going to look for it. I'm going to look for the founders, I'm going to look for the stories, I'm going to look for the examples, I'm going to look for the relationships, I'm going to look for the whatever so that you can then have enough overwhelming evidence in your conscious and in your subconscious that says, oh, I know how to do this. Let's go. Let's roll up the sleeves. No more conflicting beliefs. I have one belief, and that is exactly what want.

I think the biggest work that we can do for the new year is this, like, of course, actionable things, but we can do all the actionable things in the world. But if you are holding that little unconscious little secret to yourself, conflicting belief, you will be fighting a double uphill battle. It's like we're already trying to get the thing that we want and stay in that energy. But if there is an energy that you are holding that you don't even realize that's actually such a big bl block, it's working on letting that go and figuring out how you can become the person who's all in on the dream.

I love it. All right, guys, well listen, if you want other people, like minded people to do this with, remember what I said in the beginning. Sounding things like this out and finding evidence to look how you want it to look means putting yourself into rooms where people are already doing that. And that is our elite level entrepreneur mastermind. So now that we're at the end of this thing, hit stop and go to Chrisharder me Mastermind. Fill out the application. We can't wait to jump on a zoom and see if it's a great fit. Chrishard Me Mastermind. All right, guys, thanks for listening. We always love and appreciate you.

We will see you next week.