LIVE Q&A: Reinvent Yourself and Build Community for Where You’re Going (Not Where You Currently Are)

It affects you on such a deep cellular level to leave the current people that you have because they don't believe the way that you believe. And there's something telling you, without having any proof of your own, that there's more for you out there. Why wasn't I allowed to hang out with people outside of my religion? Because you start to believe like them. When you start hanging out with other people, you start to believe like them. If you hung out this room for one month solid, you would believe anything was possible.

You ready to hear from the brains and brilliance of an incredible founder and human being? Is everyone ready? So I actually prepared 12 questions, which I know we will not get through all of them, but I want to start. I want to dive right into pivots because I had the pleasure of watching you with what was light pink and glossy. But not just that. Over 11 years, I've seen you transition from network marketing, into thought leadership, into product based, into events, like, all of these different things. So when you're navigating these pivots, these changes in your career, what is your approach to embracing change, even when it feels really uncomfortable?

You know, I heard a quote the other day that said the opposite of success is resistance to change. And so, you know, when we're looking at. When we're looking at our businesses, a lot of times the goal is like, I just want to get it to a place where it's like, you know, it's. It's. It's running on its own. And I feel like I know what I'm doing. Well, good luck, because that's not a business you'll probably never get to. To that place because the world is changing too fast. Like, everything is changing. You're growing, your customers are growing. People are wanting different things. So I think it's the understanding of what business really is like. Rebecca, I want you to think about how much you've even had to change this event and how you market it and how you show up and who you want to attract. So when I'm thinking about navigating pivots, there is such a massive amount of grace that's going to have to come in when you're navigating pivots, because to the outside world, and especially people who maybe don't run a business or your family or your friends, a lot of times pivots look crazy. They look like, oh, she's doing that now, or what is she thinking? Or whatever that is. So it's like pivots are those things that you. It's from the person that you just grew to be. So you know who you all are right now, right? Like, you've got a pretty good identity established. A pivot is the leap into the next version of you. That's gonna require you learning completely different skill sets and also having completely different friends, listening to completely different books and podcasts, because what you did won't get you to where you wanna go. It got you to where you are right now. So pivoting is just like this giant free fall, no man's land, right? Where you're not yet the person that you wanna be, but it's the journey to that person. And everyone from the outside world thinks you're. They already have a perception of you. And in order for you to grow, you actually have to leave that all behind. You have to let it be okay to publicly fail and to have something like just the willingness to look foolish multiple times. And I think that that is. That's the hardest part, because once you build yourself up to this point, because I'm looking around, a lot of you, probably so many women look up to you, so many people look up to you and your businesses already. And that's the place where it's like, if you want to grow, sometimes you have to be willing to be like, wow, these people think a certain way of me. But that might totally get shattered in the process of becoming the next level.

How do you. Because I've seen you, like, shut down businesses to make room for new ones. How do you measure, like, calculate the risk? And if it's worth it to go toward the next thing.

I really go off of my gut. So I don't. I was going to say I don't recommend it, but I think all of you probably do as well. So for me, you know, I'm in a place in my life where I am. This is. This is my work right now. Like, if I lost everything, could I still be okay? And I'm going there frequently because I think that. That when you get okay with any outcome, like, if you can realize that you will still have maybe your friends, right? Like, maybe you're really working on your, like, friend group right now. If you realize I'll still have Rebecca, like, if shit hits the fan, like, if things all fall apart, I'll still have, you know, my husband. I'll still have my health. I'll still have, like, you have to make those lists and go, could I start over? Could I reinvent? What would that even look like? And I think when you become okay with worst Case scenario, you get all of your power back. You get all of your power back. So when I'm assessing a risk, it's like, how much do I want this? Am I okay in my life if I don't attain this thing? And if the answer is no, like, I must do this thing, then the risk can be super high. Like, the risk could be, oh, you know, you could actually potentially lose everything. But if that's the answer, and I'm okay with that. And of course, you know, some of you have children and you have to think about those things. But fine, then make the risk. Like, keep a reserve, have a plan B, and then put everything else on the line. Because your next level, you guys are already at. If you're in this room, you're already at a level that you've already put a lot on the line. And as we move up that ladder of becoming that higher version of ourself, there's going to be more at risk, right? There's going to be a lot more at risk. Especially as you grow and you achieve things and you. You get things and you get the home or the cars or whatever that looks like, there's a lot more on the line. And that's why as you grow, you have to put a lot more on the line in order to grow. So a lot of people will hit a certain amount of success that they're not comfortable with now, losing what that perceived image of you is. And that's where your ego will always be your greatest overhead, because it will keep you right there.

Ego is your greatest overhead. So good. That's it. That's a criticism.

Yeah.

So, I mean, you built multiple successful businesses, and what. I think people only look at the success right. Right now. Like, no one knows. Well, maybe they do, but they don't.

Let's tell them all the bad.

Let's tell them all the bad stuff. No, but I mean, they look and they're like, I mean, I can read your resume of successes, but what have you learned from the failure? And you could talk, if you want to talk about the failure that you then, like, became the phoenix rising from the ashes.

I mean, I'm still. I'm still in it right now. Like, it's just a constant. It's a constant up and down. And what I want to point out is, you know, you came to Bliss project in 2014. That's 10 years ago, you guys and I had started, like, five years prior to that. So when people, when you read the bio, that's 15 years. We did A live podcast last night, and some of you were there in the room, which props to you guys. You were like event queens. And we were talking, and one of the amazing women in there was like, oh, I'm not successful at something yet. We said, how long has it been? And she said, two months. And I was like, okay. But she had had so much success prior, you guys, that she wanted to apply it to the new thing. And I think we all want to do that. And it's what stops us from going into the next thing, first of all. And it's also what makes us quit too early. Because you have to remember, you're successful now because of the 15 years you put into becoming the woman who could launch the business or do the thing. And so you just have to know when you are going forward on a business, it's going to take a lot of time. But what was the original question again?

What is a lesson that you've learned from failure?

Lessons that I've learned from failure? That it's never a failure, and a bad decision is never a bad decision. So I believe that everything that has happened to you and that will happen to you is already, like, truly chosen and on your path. So. And I know a lot of you work with women, and I want you to think back that if the worst case scen or the worst scenario in your life, I'm talking the worst scenario. Had never happened to you, do you feel like you'd have as much value to offer all of the people who follow you? Like, real question. I just want to see, like, show of hands. If you can honestly say the worst thing that's ever happened to you has actually made you more valuable to the people that you help, raise your hand.

And this event is about being seen and heard and valued. Because I didn't feel seen and heard and valued by my family.

Oh, my gosh. Yeah. So. And that's what a lot of us in here, everyone in here has probably had that with our family. So that's what I always have to think about with failure, is even if I fail, especially if it's publicly failing, which I have done, I've absolutely done, and we can talk about that. That I can't tell you how many people are like, that's actually why I follow you, is because you share that and you show the real stuff. Because it's hard for me to follow the person who's always bright and shiny and doesn't show that, because otherwise we all feel like we're failing. Because guess what? Every single Day in business, you're failing somewhere. Is that a true statement? Like, you're dropping the ball somewhere and you're failing somewhere and something's not working. That is what business is. And so it's like falling in love with, oh, what I signed up for when I start my own business or when I'm a part of someone else's business is actually just solving problems. That's all businesses all day long. And so if you are someone who does not like the problems that come, you're actually in the wrong business. Like, you should get in someone else's business, because when you have your own, you just signed up for your own problems. Does that make sense? So it's like falling in love with what that actually is and that every problem and failure is an opportunity to become the next level of yourself. So without those opportunities, like, what if you can actually reframe it in your brain? And this takes a lot of work. And I'm still working on it. But when they come, when that nasty ass customer service email comes that you just want to, like, fire off or be like, you know, you get defensive. Like, when those comes, I'm. I'm like, oh, thank you. Like, thank you for allowing me to let this feeling that's like this emotional wave of, like, anger, frustration. Like, thank you for the opportunity to let me work to get through this. Thank you for the opportunity for me to have more of a backbone because I know to be the founder that I want to be. This can't even faze me. Like, I need to be able to look at this email and feel nothing. Like, I need to be like, that's okay. They had a bad experience. Let's try to make it right, you know, and so that truly is the work is, that's okay. Let's try to make it right. Or thank you for this opportunity, because the woman I want to be would use this as a teaching moment for herself to become someone better.

We become professional firefighters, but there's no actual death at risk, right? It will not kill you, even the days it feels like it will. Let's talk about, I think one of your favorite topics, which is community. Lori and her husband create and curate the most incredible communities. I mean, I was at an event of theirs. When was the last dinner series? February. February.

I think so.

Yes, I think so.

Maybe May. May.

It was May.

Thanks. I never remember.

And Brendon Burchard was one of the speakers. You're like, I. All right, so how important has community been in everything that you have done? In the chapters I was sharing earlier, I have women in here that I've known for 20 years, 10 years, through all of these chapters. How important is that? Building community as a through line, through your business and your success, it's literally everything.

It's why you're here, it's how you're here. It's why I'm here. It's how I'm here. It's the women who you are maybe striving to be like. It's because they put a lot of effort towards their community. It's one of the most important things. And I can say that because I was someone who did not start with the community. In fact, a lot of my story, why I'm so passionate about, like, friendships and community and getting women together is because I did not graduate high school and I left a religion that I was a part of my whole life where you can't, like, be. You can't talk to the people that you left. So when I left at a young age, I had nobody. Like, I didn't have friends from school, I didn't have friends from the church. It was really like starting completely over. And that was such an impactful point in my life that it affects you on such a deep cellular level to leave the current people that you have because they don't believe the way that you believe. And there's something telling you, without having any proof of your own, that there's more for you out there. And so I thought, how do I help people? Because I navigated that, how do I help people to navigate that leap from their current reality, current friend group and current family who maybe don't support them. And yes, some of them might support you, but for a lot of people, a lot of them don't. Right? Because change is hard for people. And if you're changing, they don't like that. The thing to do in survival mode is, is if they love you, they're gonna try to keep you small. Cause they wanna keep you in the group. They wanna keep the core, the core. And so a lot of my passion became how do we work to cultivate community for where we're going, not for where we are. Because our natural tendency is to reach out to people at our exact level. And so I became super passionate about the realization, okay, this also came from religious roots. Why wasn't I allowed to hang out with people outside of my religion? That was a question I really, really started contemplating. Because you start to believe like them. I want you to get that when you start hanging out with other people, you start to believe like them. If you hung out in this room for one month solid, you would believe anything was possible. And that's the problem. And that is also the answer. And so community became this thing of, wait, so you're telling me, like, the reason that your parents don't want you to hang out with, like, the bullies at school is because you become them. So I just had this realization of, put myself in the room enough, and by some grace of God and osmosis, I will actually become these people. And it started happening to me because what happens is you. You know, maybe I see Felicia on stage, and I'm like, she's talking about her business hit seven figures this year. Whatever she's saying, that's amazing. And so I ask her later, like, how did you do that and where did you start? And she tells me that she started in the same place as me or that her family had the same problem as me, or that she really struggles in her marriage or whatever those things are that feel like they're the same for you. And all of a sudden, that becomes a possibility. And so community is the key to consistency. It's the key to your next level, because you have to hear from another human what is possible for you. And that's what community does. So you'll see me online. Like, I will only now. I will only put myself in rooms where my dreams are those people's realities, because they make it real for me.

Another hard question. So as you've continued to evolve and your beliefs have changed and you've continued to uplevel and expand, how have you navigated breakups or leaving behind groups when their beliefs no longer, like, fit what you know, is possible?

Oh, this is a tough one and a great one. That gets. It gets way easier. Who's had to do this? And, like, in the moment, it's really hard. But looking back, you're like, divorce, friendship, divorce. Yes, totally. Like, you're like, oh, thank God. And now it's so easy. Like, it doesn't feel hard to you anymore. In fact, once you start doing it, can I get people, like, who's done it enough that now you actually see it coming and it never even happens anymore? Like, those women don't even. They. They are repelled by you because they can smell that you won't put up with that shit. It is so who knows what I'm talking about? These women don't come in my life anymore. Like, when I get this question, I'm like, nope, I have some Sort of repellent now because they never ever show their face. Because you become so clear on exactly how you're being. You're really clear with your words. It's the coolest thing. Like when you actually say your expectations in a friendship and from the top you're just like, here's what I'm looking for, here's who I am. And you kind of don't stand for like the little petty stuff anymore. You don't allow that into your life. That's how those things stay and get rooted. And you feel so much resentment is because right now there's something in someone that you're allowing to continue to either cross a boundary or continue to. You're holding onto it.

Right.

And so in the beginning it's tough because I do believe Rebecca, and I think you can vouch for this. So you'll have to tell me. There's an initiation.

Oh, yes.

Of hell. And the friend thing is it's so for you and it's so for you so that you can get to the place that I just told you where if you get through the initiation, you get a little vial of a 1 ounce repellent from those women. Truly something happens. And so the initiation is that it requires somebody who knows you really well to then really make you feel bad about your character. And it has to go so deep and hurt so bad that you question yourself and where you're going. And it almost makes you want to turn back and be like, am I a bad, selfish, horrible person? And at that point when you are in that place, you have two choices. You can go back to the life that you had, or you can know who you are, you can know your intentions and you can continue to be a great freaking person. And you can continue to say, you know what? I know that's not who I am. And I know I've invited you along and I know that you're crossing the boundary whether you say this to them or not. Some. Some conversations don't even need to be had if they're not going to go anywhere. Right. It's like a bless and release type of situation. If it's something you want to save and you believe it's worth saving, have that conversation. Like, hey, I want you to know, Rebecca, like, I love our relationship. Here's really where I want to go. I would love for you to go with me, but I'm not going to be able to do like our Wednesday night wine nights all the time where we get shit faced together.

Yep.

Insert laughter and if you're like, I hate that you're changing, this is where it is. It's, you know, however you come back at it, it's like, I really would love, like, if you could support me in this, this would mean everything. Because I can't live the way that I'm living. Like, I love the night with you, but the next day I do nothing. I'm depressed, I'm anxious. It's like ruining my life and my marriage. I don't do anything. And so if that person can't understand that, that's the moment of you've said your peace, like, they don't want to come with you. And now they know moving forward why you're going to keep saying no to them. And a lot of times what happens with those people is they don't leave quietly. They're not like, oh, peace be with you. Like, yes, go on your journey. Godspeed. I'll cheer you on. The whole time they go back to your friend group, say horrible things about you, try to make people not like you, and. And this can happen even in business. I've had this happen in different network marketing groups I was in where for a whole year, someone made up rumors about Chris and I because they were upset about something. And that was one of the most powerful things that ever happened for me. Because no matter what was being said, I didn't go back and defend myself. Because thankfully, at the time, I was reading something called A Course in Miracles, or Gabby Bernstein, who teaches on that, and she talks about how a defense is an attack back. It's fuel for the fire. So in those situations, the most powerful thing for me to do was let it be okay that they were talking and let my intentions be clear to the world. So your intentions will speak louder than words. Because I'll tell you, it was about a year to a year and a half later, we had this whole group, group of people come back to us and say, I am so sorry. Like, I got so looped in and down the rabbit hole of what they were saying that all of a sudden it was like a year goes by and we saw what the intentions were and what was actually happening and realized you guys were over here not doing that at all and, like, just bringing people up and whatever that looked like. So that, for me was a huge lesson. And stay the course. Do not attack back and defend. And let it be okay that that person is going to talk about you, because people who you want on your journey in the future are not going to join that bandwagon and even if they do briefly, they'll figure it out. But if they join that bandwagon. Good, you guys, good. Like, get it out. Get that energy out of your life. Because there's a beautiful quote. Hold on, let me see if I can. If I can keep it beautiful or if I'm going to slaughter it, but it's okay. It says, your blessings can't land because they're all stuck up in the clouds because you have too much mess on the Runway, so nothing is gonna come down. You know, that, that UPS plane, that FedEx plane with all of your amazing blessings and packages is like, look, I can't land. There's puddle jumpers, like, messing up all down here on the Runway. Like, you don't even get to get this blessing because look at how you can't even manage this chaos in your life. And you're holding onto that energy because somehow it's actually serving you. Like, that's the hard part for me to realize is that I would hold on to some of these people because there was a weird part of me that was serving me where I was like, this is hard. People don't like me. Like, this is, you know, this person doesn't support me. Okay, well, you don't have to have them in your life. You actually don't. And I think that that was one of the most challenging things is, you know, I've had that with family. I've had that with family. And leaving that behind or creating those super clear boundaries feels mean, Especially if you're from the Midwest or Oregon. Who. Who is like. Who's got that. Those roots of, like, you be nice. Oh, don't say anything back. Well, that keeps you stuck in a real crappy life, you guys. And if you want to know what kind of life you get from doing that, a lot of us, unfortunately, can look at the, like, our mothers, our grandmothers, like, so much resentment, so much, you know.

Martyrdom.

What's that?

Martyrdom.

Yes. And that was one of the things that. It's like, looking at that going, how do I not do that?

Well, because the most happy, fulfilled, successful people are typically not the ones that are putting down, criticizing or questioning that repellent. Just understand it is very painful and expensive the first time you buy the bottle, but you have to go through it to get, like, to get your membership card. I remember my husband. I mean, my first time, I had a best friend divorce about.

Six and.

A half, seven years ago, and it took me about three years to emotionally recover. And now it's like maybe a week or a day. But my husband, about two years ago, he's like, told someone, rebecca doesn't even care about the haters. I'm like, what are you talking about? I don't have haters. He's like, she doesn't even see them anymore. I'm like, I don't.

They're repelled. Totally. That's so true. And I think mine was actually like a good three years. And once in a while, if I really think about it, I can still get a sting.

Oh, let's not go there. Right? It's not bypassing. We've just moved on.

Okay.

Kind of a practical question, like, how do you balance in the day to day between being the visionary of where you're going and also with the day to day logistics of like, running and being in a business?

I really don't. People are like, how do you balance it all? I'm like, I'm like a frazzled rope right now. Like, I'm on the very end of my rope. Honestly, it's always changing. I'm trying to figure that out because as you grow, new things come in and they pile on the plate. And right when I think I'm like, oh, I'm getting it. I'm not getting it again. And so instead of looking at balance, I'm trying to figure out how to nurture and support the stress and how to learn how to delegate faster with the chaos and trying to figure out just how to delegate faster all of the time. I think that I don't. I don't know anyone, Rebecca who is like, oh, I'm like, so balanced in.

My business harmony sometimes.

Yeah, I think there is definitely, like those times where you're humming along and it's good and those are super fun. But a lot of times humming along doesn't always mean that you're growing. So I would say when it comes to balance, I'm always just trying to figure out how to also feel joy and happiness within my business. So a lot of that is where do I need to be in the business that moves the needle the most? And I'm always trying to get back there. So right now, the thing that brings in or the thing that moves the needle the most in my business right now is me out in the world or creating, like social or writing emails, like, being the creative. And so for me to feel very balanced, I need to learn how to start delegating or, I mean, I need to keep offloading, like everything else. So the goal in the business Right now is like, how do I get me back into creation mode, back into getting eyeballs mode. And that's going to feel really balanced for me. Now there's a ton of stuff that I still have to do because we're still a brand new startup. But if I can mostly be in where I know I'm supposed to be and I think that's the key, I think the fight of chaos is going. I shouldn't be doing this. Right. That's what makes us feel unbalanced, is this isn't where I'm meant to be in the business. This isn't what I'm meant to be doing. And that feels so like it feels like we're betraying ourselves mixed with chaos. And so I think getting clear on where should you be? Is a dairy, A very, a dairy different energy, a daring, a very lactose free energy. It's a clear energy. Energy on. You can handle a lot more when you're in what you know you, you can be in. You know what I mean? Or when, when you're in what you know you want to be in and what feels aligned. So that can even feel chaotic. But as long as it's in what I want to be, it feels better. But balance is always like something is always out of balance. And that's become the best realization for me.

To feel balanced is like more comfortable with the discomfort.

I talk about. This is a big one. Talk about the season you're into, your friends and your family. Because a lot of times the balance can come from feeling like people have an expectation of you that you haven't said out loud. So it's, you know, it's like I'm out of balance. My mom keeps texting me and I'm not getting back to where my husband's upset. We haven't had a date night. You know, my best friend's upset because this is talk about the season you're in. Maybe have a time frame where you're like, hey, you know, after Christmas, this is what it can look like. Let's make some time together. Let's go on a retreat together. Let's go on a weekend retreat together. Let's do this or that so that then you can get all of that energy back that is pulling from everything that's making you feel out of balance and chaos. Because a lot of times when we can get that energy back, there's so much momentum that you can get in your business. Because they say that women think like compared to how men and women think, men go To a website, right? They go to cars.com and they look at all the cars that they want to look at. And when they're done, they log out. Like they click the little X in the corner and they're like done. And then they go to packers.com and then they look at that and they log out. And then they go to whatever else the hell they do. They look at that and they log out. What women do is we go, okay, I'm going to Revolve.com. leave it up. Okay, I'm going to go check what Rebecca's doing. Leave it up. Okay, I'm going to do this. And all of a sudden you have literally, I guarantee I could go to your phones and see that you have 87 windows open and you haven't closed out of it and they're all running in the background. You're like, I'm so tired. It's 2pm I'm like, stop thinking about everything. So your goal is to go, what is, what's the windows like? This is a really good exercise for you guys to do tonight or later. What are all the windows that are running? How can I have a conversation or delegate or create something to close these fricking windows out? I was just having a conversation with Brianne over there, the wonderful woman filming me just about like, what's something running that's pulling energy from you and you don't realize how much it's taking all of the time that's what's taking from you.

And sometimes those are logistical or the to do's that we're putting off. But can we talk about closing the energetic loops that are draining us all of the time, even when we're being productive.

Do you have an example?

Many. Sometimes it's the hard conversations, sometimes it's giving up the idea that like I can't do it all or I can't do it at the same time. I'd love you to talk about because you talked a lot about delegation. We're going to talk about this later today about like the automate delegate delete. But I know for me I enneagram 7 to 8. Like Chris, I had a really hard time and sometimes still do on one, asking for help even if I'm paying for it, like asking for it. And number two, admitting to myself I can't do it all and being willing to receive. So what's your advice about like stick to your lane. Either the thing you're great at, the thing that your business needs and offload the others.

Where you can put this phrase on your mirror. I'm the bottleneck. The realization that if you don't delegate, you're actually slowing your business down and insane amount. And you know, we, we talked about this for a lot of you who's create a creative in here, who's more creative. Okay. Okay, cool. This is really cool. This is great. I'm, I'm a creative. So it's, it's realizing where in the business are you going to be the most impactful. And so if you're doing a ton of other stuff, and like I said, you'll always be having to do some of those things here and there. But if you find yourself doing all of the other things outside of like the thing that you got started for, what's the reason that you got started for? Because you could do what? Write that down. Like, because you could do what? Have events, be creative, post on social, get the eyeballs, be on podcasts, talk to women. Are you doing that? Like, are you doing the things that actually get the energy around your business? Because we talk all the time about in your business. It's probably not necessarily that you have a messaging problem. It's probably not necessarily that you have a branding problem. Like some, all those things can always be tweaked. But I have seen really terrible messaging and branding make money. Have you seen this? Okay, it's that you have an eyeballs problem. It's that you have a lack of audience problem. Who has that right now? Like, who has the thing that. If you, if you had, if you woke up with an email list of 1 million people who were all interested in the niche that you had, would that solve a lot of your problems? Okay, so for a lot of you, we're not doing the things that help get those eyeballs and help keep the brand, like with the heartbeat of the brand. And so anything that is pulling you away from that, if you don't have the person who can do that, like if you've hired a market marketing team and they're just not nailing it, if you keep hiring a social team and they're just not getting it, if your brand doesn't feel like you and it's not getting attention, it's not getting what you want, you might have to go back and kind of find out how you can create a schedule for yourself to be that. If that's going to be the thing that grows and delegate the stuff you're not good at. Like, go try to figure that out. So where's the place for you that is going to bring the most money, because money is the most important thing. It's not like, oh, I do accounting really, really well. Like, okay, like. But someone else can do it really well, too. But what do you do really well that brings in the money, honey, you know, because that's the only way to keep the business, to keep inspiring, to keep doing the thing. And that's really ultimately what we want to teach everyone anyway. Because money's just energy. Like, it's literally, you will get paid for the amount of things that you figure out and do well and. And the impact that you make. That's all it is. So that money will go up, which will then prove to other women they can do it, which will then allow all the women to walk out of any situation that doesn't serve them anymore. Because money is what keeps us stuck. Right? Lack of money is what keeps us stuck. So the goal is to get you into that place where you can make the money so you can walk out of any situation that you don't want to be in.

So good. Let's talk about relationships. I want to talk about your relationship with Chris first. Maybe we talk about the Power 9. Like, again, she has one of the most incredible marriages. I'm sure it's not always, like, smooth sailing every moment.

We have a lot of tools.

Yeah, you have a lot of tools, a lot of support. But, I mean, you guys have been.

Together for 20, 22, 23 years, married 19.

He's doing a startup. He has his own mastermind. You've got collaboration projects. I mean, you do so much together and separately, where you're always supporting each other. So what are some of the. I said, the things that you always lean on to make sure that you're in connection, that these women, when they go home to their partners or their support team, they can utilize so they can bring that person along with them on their vision.

This is such a great question. And, you know, I think the main thing has been creating a space every single day for intentional communication. And, you know, the. Because Chris and I have gone back and forth with the kid thing for so often, for so many years, this also really applies to people with families. I ask a lot of people whose families I really, really look up to, who they just have great kids who want to hang out with them, like, as teenagers and beyond. And they said the biggest thing that they do is create really intentional moments every day where they connect, whether it's the dinner table or breakfast, where they have guided questions like, you know, I just Talked to someone who does, like, the rose and the thorn.

Rose, thorn and bud.

Yeah. And then, like, what was your favorite part of the day? Like, something where you're always, you always have your finger on the pulse of what's actually going on with them. And so for Chris and I, you brought up the Power 9. We've done that for over 10 years. We've walked and we've walked even longer. So when we first got married, we got a very hyperactive Goldendoodle, which was sent from God, but she required, like, honestly, six miles of walking. She was hyper hyperactive, and she was so psycho that if we wouldn't walk her at night, she would actually chew on our fireplace and bite us, like, non stop, no matter how much we trained her. And so we found the only thing, like, she'd be at the brick, like, like looking at us like, you're next. So we learned that walking three miles in the morning, morning. And walking three miles at night was like, oh, this girl gets a little sedated. Like, put her out, you know? And so on these walks, we had started doing something called the Power nine. And I think we had gone to Tony Robbins and he did the gratitude thing. And we're like, okay, how can we, like, mega stack? And like just kind of, we were doing like Law of Attraction and learning all that. So we created this little stack and it's.

Write this down, by the way.

It's. It's life changing. I'm not even kidding. So. And it's so basic. But aren't the, aren't most life changing things so basic? Like, okay, eat some meat and veggies.

Like that, Drink your hydrate, hydrate, sleep, sleep.

We'll see. So it's three things you're grateful for, three things you're excited about, and three things you're manifesting. It's so, so simple. And I promise, if you do this with a bestie or you journal it, or you do it with a partner, you do it with your kids. Like, if you start making this a normal thing. And by the way, so many people have told me, they're like, I started it. My kids think it's corny, but now they ask for for it. Or my husband thought it was so dumb and now he loves it. So hang in there. Be like, just do this for me. This is really important for me because I want to know where you're at. And that has changed our lives, and I'll tell you why. So no matter. Especially with two startups, no matter how crappy my Day is I still have to find things I'm excited about. Right. I still have to find things I'm grateful for. And then I also go, oh, yeah, this is why I'm doing that, because these are the three things I want to manifest. So there's a lot of things that you can change. They can change every single day. They don't have to be the same thing. But what you'll start finding is that there's a common theme that you keep on either being grateful for or that you keep manifesting or you notice. Like, oh, I get really excited on the days I have this. More of that. Right. And then also if you do it with your partner, it's like, I never not know what he's thinking. I never not know what he's trying to cultivate in his life. And you can't do this without having conversation off the back end of it. Like a lot of times it's, oh, I'm so grateful for my health right now because last week I had this thing like my vision was feeling this way or whatever, you know, that you're like, oh, I didn't even know that. I didn't even know you were struggling with that. And so there's, it's like nothing, not a day can go by where I don't know what's going on or what he wants. And then in the evening we do three wins of the day. So that one's just super fun. Like what was the win for the day? What felt really good for you and that keeps us really connected.

And with as much as you have going on, like I said, that connection is always it. Like things break not because you're going fast. Things break when connection is broken. Okay, talking about now business partner collaboration because you had a very exciting announcement this year. Has everyone heard of Boss Babe? Yes. Can you talk about one? I want to talk you to tell about who your business partner is in Glocee and, and what made you realize like it was time to bring on a partner.

So the business partner that we just took on as a co founder is Natalie Ellis of Boss Babe. And that was really, really exciting. And her and I had been in each other's worlds for a little while.

You met in a mastermind.

Met in a mastermind and she had come in actually and helped me with a couple different things business wise a few times. And when I had started the first company, Light Pink, which was a non alcoholic rose and a light wine spritzer and this was like just when White Claw was out There wasn't about a zillion of them that come out monthly at that time. I wanted to create a product that really brought women together and I wanted it to hit more mainstream women. In the. On the back of the can there were going to be three questions that I knew helped connect women. And so this was great. Other women wanted this as well. The cans weren't very different, so you couldn't tell who was drinking and who wasn't. Because I don't know if you remember, but in the beginning of like the whole non elk thing, you felt really isolated. If you weren't drinking that night, they're like, weird. Why aren't you drinking? And so it was kind of this thing that was like, oh, this is great, like we can all do this together. There's the questions on the back of the can that are going to help you get an answer that you need. So it was really like, what are you working on right now? What are you struggling with? And because I at the time was living in LA and going to all these different networking events and leaving these events, like that was horrible. And we didn't get anything we needed, but damn, we looked cute. And so I just felt this like big gap for women to truly connect, especially mainstream women. Because when I had written my book A Tribe Called Bliss, and that was about connecting women deeper. And while it did good, it didn't do exactly what I wanted it to.

Do and get into the mainstream. I mean, you sold like 100,000 copies, but you know, you know, but it.

Still was not like mainstream women. It was a lot of personal development women who already kind of had an idea about this. So that was why Light Pink had started. So great idea, right? Going into the pandemic, not such a great idea. Especially with co packing manufacturing and something we called a candemic, which was lack of aluminum. So we had a little problem there. And what was the original question? This is. See what I do. I'm tangent.

No, no, I mean I wanted to.

Ask you the co founder. Okay. So I had worked with Natalie in Light Pink and she had invested in it. So she was one of the investors in Light Pink. And so I had gotten to work with her with like some, some planning. We were doing some strategy sessions and we just had a really good time. And then throughout like our lives, we just hung out and we kept crossing, crossing paths. And I have always respected her because we are so. I mean, not for this reason, but we tend to like really love and respect the people with the opposite skill set. That we really want. We're like, oh, my God, she's so linear. Oh, my God, she's so strategic. I am not. And so I always follow her and learn from her and listen to her podcast because those are things that were really lacking for me. And so fast forward. We were just friends in life, and when light pink became glossy, you know, it was. I had thought about bringing on a business partner multiple times. In fact, I almost brought on two. We were super close to doing it. And somehow with both of these contracts, at the final hour, they fell through. Like, I spent so much money on getting these contracts as well, like, lined up and on their end. Something happened in both of their lives at the same time that was so big that it did not allow them to come in. And so I was devastated because at that point, and I'm going to get real, real honest, at that point, I was bringing on a partner because my confidence was so low from having light pink fail because I couldn't bring it to market. It's like, no matter what I did, I could not get this thing to market. A million dollars later, you guys, of mentor's money, of best friend's money, of family's money, I could not get it to market. And that was the lowest that I've ever been in my life because I didn't understand. Like, even though you tell them this is the riskiest thing that they can do, even though people know this about investments, even though Chris and I have had 10 major investments fail, like, you still feel as a woman, because we're not talking about it enough, you still feel such incredible guilt that it threw me into the darkest point of my life, where if I would have been, if I would have put myself sooner in more founders rooms, I would know that all of them have gone through something fairly similar. And that probably would have saved me about three months of the worst, like, period of my entire life where I just didn't even know who I was. I didn't even know if I wanted to get up. I just felt like such a horrible failure and such, like, a. I, like, lost people's money. And so at that point with the partners and having it fall through and feeling like, oh, my God, here I am again, failing, I was gonna bring in the people who I thought could really help me, like, you know, blow this thing up in a beautiful way before it launches. And maybe, like, my investors would look at me and go, okay, thank God they're in the business now. Like, because this girl sucks now we feel okay. Like, do you see the energy of that? Do you see why God pulled that away from me? Because I wasn't even making great decisions. Like, it was like I was making those decisions out of fear, and I was making them out of lack of. And it wouldn't have been a good fit. It wouldn't have actually been a good fit. They're like, the best people on earth. But it was not a good fit. It wasn't a good fit for how we worked together, for what the vision was. But I was desperate. So guess what happens from that. Like, sometimes, yes, if that would have gone through, I would be having. Like, that would be the. That would be even a bigger lesson that I went through, having to break that up, right? The realization of, oh, I'm so sorry. This is just really not gonna work. And so I think the biggest lesson there is just wait. Do not make those decisions from a place of fear or lack. Like, hang in there. Remember who you are. Get in the rooms with the women who help you remember who you are. That's one of the only ways you're going to remember ever again is for them to sometimes slap the crap out of you and be like, what are you? Like, this isn't who you are. What are these decisions you're making? You're strong. You're brilliant. This is why people invested in you in the first place. Let's get you back on the saddle. Let's get you to stop drinking wine every night. Cause you're depressed and you don't know what to do with yourself. Right? We go back to those places, and I had to really focus on me and my health and getting back to me. And that's when I was like, whoa, what was I doing? Okay, so fast forward when I get this voice note from Natalie. And it sat there for like, a day. Who else does this? Because I'm just like, okay, I'm gonna. Especially a voice note. I'm like, ooh, I wanna listen to that one. And I can get back to it. And simultaneously, I'm looking at the business, and I'm like, okay, I either need to do another raise to feel really, really good about everything that we want to do, or bring on a partner, or I need to go out there and figure out, what does this look like to really bring in. Just do some crazy thing to bring in a lot of sales. And so all of those felt fine. It didn't feel scary because we had enough. My CFO team has me so nice and far ahead, which, by the way, is invaluable. But it came literally the day of that email of like, hey, let's start looking because here's the year. Let's figure out, like, what feels good, what do we want to do? Let's make this plan. And so I get that email and then I get the voice note that same day. And so I open it up the next day and she's like, hey, I can't stop thinking about this. She goes, I'm just going to throw this out there. It doesn't even. Like, I feel weird even saying this, but I'm just going to do it. And she's like, I love this product and people are coming to me who want me to make another product. She's like. And she's always been passionate about a product. I knew this way back when she was in light pink. It was why she wanted to invest in it. And she's like, I love products. I want to do something biohacking, something that's good for you, something wellness. And so she had said, what would it look like if I could be a bigger part of it? Because every time I think of creating something, it would be glossy. And I was like, at first I was like, oh, I don't want to make that decision again. Like, I don't want to, like, get excited and hyped up and make a decision out of like, oh, here I go again, like, needing a partner. And so I sat with it for a couple days and I was like, this actually just makes sense. And I think for the first time, it was like a decision based on partnership. Not the first time, actually. The second time. The first time was with Lindsey Schwartz. But for the second time, I had the feeling of what it feels like to make a decision from like a very, like a calm business standpoint instead of a super hopped up, hyped up, like, excitement standpoint when you're making those long term, like, relationship commitments. And so I had put everything on paper and I was like, this just makes sense. Like, she has this community. She's very strategic. She's fricking brilliant. Like, she loves the product. Do I want a competing product with her? Not that it would be, but it kind of would be. And it's like. Or would we partner and have, like, you know, be able to separate the work, have so much fun. She doesn't want to be like, super front facing. She loves strategy, back end, like all of the things I hate. So it was a decision that just came down to, like, putting it all on paper and going. Also, I love the energy that we have between us and working with her. So there was a lot of thought that went into it. And also, I love it. I'm so excited, and it's been. It's been so much fun. And let me just tell you, I have a call with her right after this.

She's my phone call, off the call.

12:30, because we have really big decisions to make. And that is the most incredible thing right now is that what I didn't have before is this call. I'm about to go. Have to go. We've got some big, hard decisions to make, and I'm going to get on the phone. They don't feel half as big or half as hard because we both get to look at them and kind of, like, sit with each other and go, this is just business. We look at each other. Truly, this is just business. Like, let's do this in a loving way and let's move forward. So good.

Well, tell us about gloce. By the way. There is a stick right behind you. I forgot to bring it over, but you literally could show it. So I have to say I am neurotic about health. I'm certified in holistic health and integrative nutrition. I don't tell people what to eat, though, except my children and husbands sometimes. And last night, a couple of our girls had eaten gluten accidentally. And that is like, my new thing if I get gluten, contamination is I always take it in the morning, but I take it at night now to, like, get rid of the bloat. So talk a little bit about what glocy is and why it's so important.

So glossy is a daily beauty supplement. It's for skin and gut. And it came kind of out of the idea of, if I could only take one thing a day and make it simple, what would that be and what would it do? And we got to also, you know, we put down our desires, which was actually this. But then we surveyed groups. And what's so funny is before Natalie and I were even partners, I went to her because she was an investor, and I said, hey, can we put a survey in, boss babe, so that I can get, like, 5,000 responses really, really fast? And she was like, absolutely. And we asked them, you know, what are the things that you want to feel like, what would you want in this one? Stick wonder. And the answers were essentially all the same. It was like, we wanted to feel lighter. We wanted something that was good for our skin. A lot of people were struggling with, like, what they were thinking was just like, Digestive issues and bloat. And so we were like, us too, girlfriend. Like, we want to create the exact same thing. And so that's when we started, like, deciding that that's exactly what it was going to be. And simultaneously at the same time. I come from supplements. You guys in the fitness industry. That was huge for me. And then also network marketing. I mean, I've sold supplements for 15 years. That's actually kind of the main business is that I was a salesperson selling supplements. And so for me, this is not like, even though the idea of a product is new, this is not new to me because I really am a. I believe what I sell to people is truly, like, habits that transform you. Like, little habits that transform you, that can transform you. And so this felt really good to be able to say, okay, let's simplify all of it. Because I do feel like the world has gotten so complex with, like, you need to use this and that and this and that and all of these things that I'm so overwhelmed in my company. Just give me, like, one thing or two things that I need to do every day. And so we wanted to simplify because you are our exact demographic. Like, women, ambitious women who know that their health is the foundation. But a lot of times that's the first thing to go. And one of the most important things we can do for ourselves is just have the one or two things that you stick to to prove to yourself. You're like, okay, I did these good things. Tip the domino in the morning and then start habit stacking throughout the day. So even a walk in gloce, I'm telling you because I'm so passionate about it. Those two things, like drinking your water with your clinically studied probiotic and your vitamin C and your magnesium and your zinc and prickly pear, like, all of the things like, drink your water, take your walk. Do you believe those two things could completely change your life in a year?

And your power nine, Just add that.

Into the walk and your power nine. And so Glo C is essentially just something that we really wanted to create a community around of a simple routine that can totally change your life and make your skin look amazing and make you feel amazing. Because I really think that, you know, some of the things that when we show up in the room, it doesn't feel great to feel bloated. We're like, oh, it's this asterisk. You know what I mean? It's like, oh, I don't feel great, or, oh, I'm breaking out again. So we really went to town on trying to. To do everything in our power to.

Create a great product for that last question. What are you excited about next?

That.

That. Amazing.

This is. This is my. This is like the next 10 years for me. This is my everything. So I'm going all in. And I want to go all in with the women who, like, believe in it, too, because I think we can create some awesome stuff.

Amazing. Can everyone give Lori a big hand of applause?