Master The Art of Public Speaking and Build a 7-Figure Personal Brand with Jen Gottlieb

Speaking can be the key that can unlock so much for you in your business and in your personal life. Just learning how to tell epic stories. Because if you can be a great storyteller and you can capture people's attention and you can communicate with people and make them feel seen and heard and take them on a journey, you can sell anything. You can get people to sign up for whatever you're trying to sign them up for, whether that's convince them to go on a date with you, convince them to buy your products or services or go to the restaurant that you want to go to. Being a great speaker speaker can lead to absolutely anything in life becoming a lot easier for you. And so I'm really excited to teach people how to do that in every way.

Jen Gottlieb, welcome back to the earn your happy podcast. I just want you as a regular co host friend.

Can we make that happen? I'm sorry, I was thinking, how many times have we done this now?

I don't know. It's been a lot, but not enough.

Not enough. Never enough to be back. Any excuse I get to hang out with you.

I'll see you next week. You know, let's do it again. I guess we have to start. But you guys, I was really excited to have Jen back on the show because, number one, you always have so much to teach and so much value to add, especially in the topics that you are an expert in and what you love to talk about. Because it's one of the most important things in all of brand building. I believe in all of personal brand, growing product. I'm going to talk all about why this is so important. Even if you have a product company, even if you're just growing a personal brand, if you want to raise money, all of the things you guys, and that is learning to be an epic public speaker, learning how to tell your story, all the things that you have just become an absolute expert in, Jen, throughout all the years. So thank you for coming on the show. I'm really excited to dive into all these topics.

Thanks for having me. This is the first time we're really honing in on talking about this like, or that I am ever on a podcast. So of course it's your podcast. Has to be. And I'm so excited because genuinely, like, I, I don't even like to call myself an expert. I'm really just a gigantic enthusiast when it comes to this because I am, I'm not here claiming that I have all the answers, but I'm actually in the field doing it and I, I made this gigantic claim a few years ago. I decided that I wanted to be the best speaker in the world, or I remember what I said, like, the greatest female speaker in the world. I don't even know what that means, but I knew that I wanted to be amazing at speaking. I knew that I loved it. I knew that it was where all, like, you know, just that thing that you feel in your heart and that knowing, like, this is where I belong. Like, it's a combination of all the skills that I've been using since I was a kid performing, like on Broadway stages and on TV and all that stuff that I used to do. It just, all, all the dots connect to this, and I love it. And I went on this quest to start speaking as much as possible and learn everything I possibly could about getting stages, branding myself as a speaker, building relationships that would help lead to more speaking opportunities, telling epic stories, what type of keynotes resonate the most, how to practice, how to get my reps, and how to become great at this. And not only did I work on that for years and years and years, I'm in it, working on, currently actively speaking, you know, more than five times per month now, and just learning so much. And it got to a point where I'm like, okay, I, I, I know a lot about this, and I really want to share everything that I'm learning with as many people as possible because, like, speaking can be the key that can unlock so much for you in your business and in your personal life. Just learning how to tell epic stories is, I think, one of the best investments that you could make in your life, period. Taking that time and energy to focus on learning that. Because if you can be a great storyteller and you can capture people's attention and you can communicate with people and make them feel seen and heard and take them on a journey, you can sell anything, you can get people to sign up for whatever you're trying to sign them up for, whether that's convince them to go on a date with you, convince them to do, buy your products or services, or go to the restaurant that you want to go to. Being a great spot speaker can lead to absolutely anything in life becoming a lot, a lot easier for you. And so I'm really excited to teach people how to do that in every way.

Oh, my God, I love that. That got me super pumped up because I just think about all of the misconceptions that I used to have about speaking. Like, I'm too nervous. I don't have good stories. I'll never be able to speak like that. Like, there's so many things that I think we're going to bust through today that, you know, you don't have to be one of these super polished, perfect speakers. You. You can find your own way of doing it. You have big stories. Because the big stories are the little stories with just some work put in and some enthusiasm and, you know, practicing and putting in the reps and all of the things. So anyone. I believe anyone can get good at this if they commit to it, because they have a voice and they do have stories. So why don't we kind of start at the top with just, like, what got you into acting, like, what made you want to do that? And let's talk about some of the key points that you didn't even realize that you were learning through that, that you can apply to speaking.

Well, I actually was a terrible speaker when I first started because of my acting experience. Basically had to forget everything that I learned as an actor. So those of you that are listening, you have no idea who the hell I am. I used to act like I went to school for musical theater since I was a little kid. I was in a Broadway national tour. I was on tv. Like, all of my schooling, everything that I ever wanted to do was supposedly leading me towards a career in acting. I wanted to be a theater actress. And so I studied hard in school, like how to sing, how to dance, how to tell stories in the way of becoming a character. Memorizing lines and creating an objective that this character had and portraying that objective and being that character and being somebody other than myself. And so I was really, really good at being someone other than myself and telling people's stories. So I'll never forget the very first time I was asked to speak and tell my story. That was the scariest moment. And I had performed. Lori. I've performed in front of thousands of people because I was. And I did 10 shows a week and tons of shows before that. I was like a pro at performing in front of people. I didn't really get that nervous, but I was. This is when I was a trainer. I was like a. I guess like an affiliate for carbon 38, which is a brand. And they found out that I was pretty successful in my training business all around New York City. And they asked me to come and speak to their other Carbon38 affiliates or their other trainers. And this was. I'd never spoken in front of people and told them my story ever in my life. And so I was so nervous about this, Lori. And I thought that being a speaker meant memorizing my lines like an actress.

Yeah.

So I wrote out my speech and I spent days and days and days trying to memorize this speech word for word, like a good little actress would. My teachers in school called it being dead letter perfect dlp. And I would have to be dead letter perfect with all my lines. So I'm like, I'm going to memorize this whole thing. It was like an hour long talk. Oh, God, I'm terrified. There's 12 people there. We're at a bar studio. Like, I'm not wearing any shoes. There's no microphone. It's like there's these lovely fitness instructors are sitting on the floor and I walk out in front of them and I'm gonna go tell them this story that, that I memorized.

A full keynote for 12 people in a fitness studio.

I love it.

Okay, this is the vibe. This is the vibe.

Yes. And meanwhile, like, to great. You guys just know that I was an actress that was performing on professional stages in front of thousands of people, and I'm pooping my pants, like, so terrified for these 12 people. I just. Because I had never said, hi, I'm Jen and I'm about you. It's always been me playing somebody else. And so immediately I knew when I looked at these people's faces that I could not recite the lines that I had prepared. I just felt that. I felt the shift. I felt the thing that I try to explain to people as to why you can't get on a stage and recite memorized words. Yes. Something that you feel. You'll feel it when you break the fourth wall and you see other people and they look at you and you want to connect with them and you genuinely want to tell them a story and help move them or. Or like help them in some way. I immediately felt a shift and I was like, I need to throw this entire thing out the window. And I.

Did you hear that? All the time with people is they say, you know, I had all these notes and I. I'm putting them down. I threw them away. Like, you hear that? Because that's a real thing. Okay.

Yeah, it's a feeling and it's. You can feel it. And anyone that's listening that's ever had that happen, really lean into that. Because that feeling still lives in me all the time. Because I bring that feeling with me to every single stage that I step onto. Because I think about my acronym that I talk about a lot on On Social Hope help one person every day, because it really is about thinking. I think the best speakers are the speakers that can make the audience feel like you're just having a conversation with them. And it's not planned. It's not something that you mapped out. You are having a conversation with that one person. And I felt that it was, like, not something anybody taught me. I was like, I have to throw this out the window and I have to just talk. So I talked for an hour for the first time ever in my life, telling my story as me. And towards the end, I started to see the girls on the floor starting to cry because they could. And they were actually getting impacted by what I was saying, which I never thought in a million years would happen. And in that moment, I was like, holy, I want to do this more. There's something here. And that was the first time ever. And from that moment, I wish I could tell you that, like, from that moment, I was like, yeah, I'm going to be a speaker. It didn't really happen that way. I was like, I really like this. I'm exploring this, and it didn't happen. I didn't actually start speaking until years after that. But that was the first experience where I really understood the impact that being a speaker could have, that I really loved it and that you need to throw away the script. Mm.

So for anybody listening, I want them to understand, even though you had past experience, like, with acting, which, by the way, even when you started that, that was scary as well. Like, this is a completely different experience of just, like, really trying to move people, relate to their stories, not having a script, like, trying to be present all of those things. And I know that, you know, everything that you do now has, like, you have a framework, you have tools, you have a plan for if you're nervous. You have a plan for if you need to, you know, switch what you're talking about. You have a plan to ad lib. And these are all things that you get to collect throughout your toolbox of becoming a speaker. And I know that that's also things that you love to teach on and can teach on. Let's talk about why, like, why are you so passionate about learning how to speak? Teaching how to speak, teaching people how to tell a story?

Well, I truly believe in my book behind me is called Be Seen. And I. I lived a fake, like a lie, a fake version of myself for so long. And I talk about it a lot in my book. Those of you that are like, are that listen to your podcast probably, hopefully have listened to some of our. Several, several podcasts ago where I told the whole story. But I built this brand and I was being very visible as an actress playing a part on a heavy metal talk show and all these other parts that I. And it was incredibly out of alignment to who I truly was. And I dreamt of this life that I wanted to live, and I kept hitting a brick wall when it came to living that life because I was showing up inauthentically, I was showing up as a version of myself that wasn't true to who I really was. And it wasn't until I started being seen as, like, the real me allowing people to, like, like at that fitness studio, like, just hear my story come out of my mouth, the actual real story, that things started working for me. And I truly believe, like, over the course of the. Especially the last seven years of building a business and making this pivot and writing a book and speaking on all these stages and trying to help people as much as I possibly can, things always work the best when you're real, when you're authentic, and when you allow people to see you and when you share your personal story, because there's thousands of people out there that might do the exact same thing as you, but there's only one you with your story and your experience and. And there's going to be people out there that desperately need to hear your story and your experience in order to move to the next step for themselves. And it's always fun for me to talk about this topic when I'm on this podcast with you, because you were that person for me. You being seen and speaking your stage wasn't an actual real. I mean, it was for, you know, the events that you did. And I never got to see you on a real stage before we were friends. But the stage that you were on for me was this podcast. And this was a way for you to speak and be seen and share your truth and be who you were. And I was the girl that you didn't know that was walking around New York City listening to you in my ear on your stage and be exactly who you were and share your stories. And it was helping me more than you even knew move next step and be seen as me and build my fitness business and then go out and speak in front of those girls like you were inspiring me. So those of you that are terrified to get on a stage or speak your truth or be seen, but you know, you feel a calling that you need to, please remember that if you have A story or a service or product that can help people. And you're not getting on some sort of a stage for those people to find you. You're actually being quite rude because, Lori, if you didn't do that, I'd be pissed because I. You changed my life. And so I do feel that, like, I know that nagging feeling when you're not. When you're not expressing yourself in the way that you feel in your heart. You know you need. Yes. And you're hiding because you're afraid of people judging you or you're afraid of not being perfect, or you're afraid of saying it wrong or doing it wrong. So you just. You aren't being seen. You're not sharing your gifts. You know that there's people out there that you could help, but you're just. And you feel that knowing, but you're not doing it, and you just feel stuck. Please remember that there is at least one person out there, probably way more than one. But just think about that one person that really needs to hear what you have to say. And because you're seen and you get up there on whatever stage it is, whether it's an actual real life, in person stage, or a podcast or an Instagram Live or a post or a piece of content or whatever type of stage you want to be on, it could be a virtual zoom call. Anything where you're communicating, it's your responsibility to be out there and do that for that one person because they might hear something that you say and go show up in a different way in their life. And then you create an entire snowball effect. I don't even remember what the initial question was, but I think that it's important for us to know that if you're feeling a calling to do that and you're feeling a calling to your story and you're feeling a calling to communicate, you should probably show up and do it. Even though you're feeling afraid, even though you're feeling like. Like people might judge you because there's that person out there that. That needs to hear what you have to say.

It's so important. It's so important for everything that we do. You know, we were. We were kind of talking through, okay, who is this for? And we've come to the conclusion it's literally for anyone who has to communicate with anyone. And that's just the truth. It's. It's. If you want to be a better parent, like, the key is communication. It's why we go to therapy. If you want to be a better partner. The key is communication, like learning about how each other communicate and how your communication is being perceived by another person. Like, there's so much to communication that when you learn how to communicate, everything gets better. I'm talking your posts get better, your friendships get better, your relationships get better, your podcasts get better, your speaking gets better, your sales convert better. Literally everything gets better. So even if people don't have plans of doing a keynote, I believe every, everybody should go through some form of speaker school. I truly do. I hadn't had plans to do like a massive, Like, I didn't want to be a keynoter, but I did want to be able to speak in small groups for a while, be able to like really communicate messages and move people. And so I had joined a kind of like a speaker school, like a train the trainer, where you also did speaking. And I joined another one. I can't remember the name, but it was specifically for speaking like two in a row. Early on it was like 20, 2013, 2014. And it changed my entire life because before that point I could hardly communicate to people. Like, I would be in front of four people when I worked at a gym at LA Fitness and they'd be like, hey, Lori, could you, you know, during the team meeting, could you read this and like share something around this? I would get full on panic attacks, Jen, like sharing in front of my teammates, like, and I'm not, I'm not even kidding you, as a full on bodily like meltdown. And I would have to share like, I'm so nervous, guys. Like just even talking in front of you guys makes me nervous. So to come as far as I've come and how much now I love doing it and love communicating the message and know how important it is. Like, everybody needs to learn how to do this. So I think we should start there for you. Like, can you kind of walk through why it's really important for people to be able to do this and how it can impact their business in their life?

Yeah. So I mean, I want to be able to speak to every type of person. But let's do the business owner right now that wants to get on. There's two different ways to essentially get more clients from speaking. Well, there's probably more than two, but the two that I'm going to talk about are directly and indirectly. So directly is like when you get on a stage and you pitch your offer and I, I've done that. If you read the book, I've done it very badly where I've shit the bed horribly and like completely, like just, oh my gosh, fired myself from pitching from stage. And because of that, I've gotten really good at it over the years because I forced myself to. But then there's also indirectly where you start to speak on stages and gain the credibility and the influence and the authority and other people's stages. And then people follow you or they opt into your email list and then you're able to sell them their. Your products because they saw you on stage and they really fell in love with you. Being on stage and communicating with an audience in that capacity is one of the most powerful ways that you can generate a connection with in audience because you're there and you're in person and you take people on a journey. I will never forget when I saw there's a few speakers that I really admire and I saw them for the very first time. It changed my life in person. And the way they were able to move me and make me feel something. I walked out of the room like, so moved into action. There's. It's way more. It's really powerful to have somebody in your ear talking to you. It's really powerful to read a book. It's really powerful to watch a zoom call or, you know, work with a mentor in that capacity or. But being in an audience and seeing a powerful speaker move around, having that experience with other people around you, there's a connection that happens that I feel. I felt it so many times that it's really, really, really special. So you've got your direct, like you're. You're hosting an event, you're selling your services and products, and that's a great way for people to just like when they're in the room, they make really emotional decisions that are probably in the most, in most, most cases from their true desire, what they really want. And they're like, you know what? I feel this. I'm in this. I really want this. I've made so many amazing decisions in rooms. When a speaker has invited me into mentorship or they've invited me into buying a service or a product where I'm like, I definitely want that. I'm in the room. I feel the energy. I'm in what Tony Robbins calls peak state. I want that. And I thought in that moment and I was the best decision ever because I was in that state and I felt the energy. Then of course, the indirect, where you're just creating that credibility. And that's an amazing way. Just like press or getting featured in the media is a great way to build your credibility. Being on stages is also a great way so that if someone sees you speaking on stage, you immediately get that cred and that authority from being on somebody's stage and, oh, that's cool. Let me follow that person. Like, if they are trusted enough to be on that stage speaking with a microphone in their hand, I think I want to follow them a little bit more. Or I just really love what this person is talking about. I want to learn more about them, and then in the future, they'll fire stuff. So if you're an entrepreneur that's selling services and wanting to generate leads, speaking is actually one of the best ways to do that, because you have two different ways of doing it, directly and indirectly. If you are someone that is just a regular human being in life and you want to be able to walk into a dinner party and make really powerful, amazing connections, you want to be able to host parties, you want to be able to date, you want to be able to get your kids to do what you want them to do. Being able to communicate and essentially influence people or sell to people without selling, basically just convincing people to do things through the art of storytelling and through the art of speaking and being able to connect with people through the power of your words, it's just an incredible skill to be able to hone in on.

Okay, so let's talk about the main elephant in the room, which is fear. Because when people think of speaking, when they think of, you know, learning to be articulate, getting on stages, maybe they're like, oh, I think I want to be a podcaster or go on podcasts. All of these things require, you know, feeling confident and understanding how to tell a story. Like, let's talk about the fear in the room of how do we start coping with that? Like, do you have tips and tricks? Like, how do we start putting in the reps? What does that look like?

Yeah, Public speaking, I think, is the, like, number one fear in the world. I think it is most afraid of. So I'm never going to tell anybody that they need to become fearless in order to be a speaker, because I always feel fear. And I talk about a lot of really successful people all the time, big speakers, and I ask them all the time, like, do you still get nervous? And they all say, yes, I still feel fear. I still feel. Feel imposter syndrome. Sometimes. I still feel like I get the shaky mouth syndrome. That's what I call makes me feel.

So much better knowing all of this, because you're on a Stage, like a few times a week. Yeah.

And each time I get scared and I get nervous. It's not about not feeling afraid.

If I don't.

If I'm about to go on stage and I don't feel nervous, there's something wrong because it means I don't care. I know that. Well, first of all, listen, it's not. I just like, to finish my sentence, it's not about not feeling fear. It's about feeling the fear, acknowledging that the fear is there, and allowing yourself to do it with fear there anyway. Because every single time you do the thing you're afraid to do, you take away the power that fear has over you. You say, screw you, fear. I've got this. I know you're going to come with me. I know I'm going to be shaky. I know my hands are going to be sweaty. I know I'm going to be terrified. I know my heart's going to be pounding, but I'm going to go. Go do this anyway. And when you're done and you take a bow and you walk off stage or you get in your bed that night, because no matter what the scary thing ends, it ends every time. And you can look up at the ceiling and you can say, I did that confident. And that's how you develop confidence with absolutely anything, especially speaking. So the more reps you get, the more power you have over the fear. But it doesn't mean that it doesn't come in. It comes in all the freaking time. So I do have a couple of. I want to give your audience some tools that they could use to harness it. So I. I don't ever want to fight the fear. I don't ever want to fight the anxiety. I find, and this is not my quote, what you persist or what you resist persists. Yeah, that I try to push anxiety or nerves away and get rid of them, the more they attack me because I get nervous that I can't get rid of the nerves. And then I'm nervous, right? Like, it's like I'm anxious that I can't get rid of the anxiety. It's never going to go away. And then I'm more anxious. So the way that I think about fear for speaking and nerves is that nerves are actually my superpower when it comes to giving an amazing performance, because nerves create adrenaline, and adrenaline is like a superpower. Adrenaline makes you not have to pee. Adrenaline makes you be able to lift really heavy shit. Adrenaline makes you so true. Faster, jump higher. We do things that we never thought we can do. And we've got a lot of adrenaline. And that nerves, all those nerves that you're getting. Before you speak, those are good because they're going to create that adrenaline that you need to get up on stage and crush it. It. The thing is, is that we need to learn how to harness those nerves and make them work for us instead of against us. So I just like to reframe it, and it's all about the framing. And I heard this on a podcast. Lori, I think you'll appreciate this analogy. It's really fascinating, and I think about it all the time. So, you know when you go and you do a really hard workout and you're sweating, your heart's pounding, you can barely catch your breath, you feel like you're going to die, but you're like, that's fine. Means I'm working out really hard. Feels great, right? We're all about it because the frame is that I'm at the gym working out, and this is good. But if you were sitting in traffic and all of a sudden you started panting and your heart was pounding, you'd think you're having a heart attack. Because you're not supposed to feel that way in a car. You're supposed to feel that way in a gym. So what if we just change the perception of, okay, I'm having. My heart's beating, my. My mouth feels shaky, my hands are sweaty. I. I can't even focus on what anybody's saying to me right now. I'm just super nervous. What if I just change the frame and said, that means I'm gonna crush it? And I think about being like, Super Mario used to play Super Mario a lot when I was a kid, and whenever he would, like, get the mushroom, he would run really fast, and it was like, the superpower. Like, you get the mushroom. So I just envisioned that my nerves are like, oh, get in the mushroom. And this is gonna make me supercharged as I go on stage. So I'm gonna take all of this nervous energy. I'm gonna thank God for it. Thank you for this. Because it's creating adrenaline that I need to get up there and crush it. I'm going to embrace it. I'm not going to try to make it leave, but I'm going to let it stay. I'm going to actually envision it being like. I actually give it a color in my body. It's like bright red, and it's. It's just all in my body, and it's just making an amazing speech. That's about to be given to the audience, and I bottle it up and I allow it to work for me. And it's just about changing that perception. It's not nerves that's negative. It's like, hell, yeah. It means I'm excited. It means I've got this adrenaline. It means that I'm going to get up there and I'm going to crush it with this superpower. I'm Super Mario. Let's go. And then I say one thing. I say, God, speak to me and through me. And you can believe whatever you believe in. God doesn't matter. It's not a spiritual, religious thing. Speak to me through me. It just reminds me that I know my stuff, and I'm going to let go, and I'm going to trust that I've got everything that I need. I've prepared. I'm going to let go, allow. Speak to me. And through me, I take the stage and I allow the nerves to be there. Who?

Okay. Whenever we talk about it, I feel like I can literally put myself right on a stage. Like, and every single time, I get those rush of nerves. And just like you say, like, it was when I would try to make them go away or think, like, when is this going to go away? That it would just. It would just get worse. And so now I'm like, okay, here it is. Yep. What is this? What is this gift? Like, what's the gift in this? And so I've also found, like, really deeply asking what the gift is. One of the other things that I found for myself that really helps is I know that a lot of the people that I speak to are people who deal with anxiety. Like, it's just because that was the gift that was given to me so that I can speak directly to. To them. And so for me, I'm like, oh, if I didn't have this anymore, I wouldn't remotely be able to understand who the people are that I'm about to talk to. And so it just makes me feel like I am super connected to the audience that I'm about to go talk to, because I'm like, oh, no, no, no. Like, we are the same. I am still experiencing what you are most afraid of up here. But I'm up here. And so that's, like, been one of the most powerful reframes for me, everything that you said. And then also remembering, you know, like, whatever it is that people are afraid of, if they. If they're like, oh, my God, I'm so afraid I'm going to fall on my face. Maybe you are meant to fall on your face to help the person who's like, I'll never go up there because I'm going to fall on my face. Like to go, guess what? It still goes on. And you give everybody permission. So we get so many, like, gifts. And I know that it's uncomfortable and I know that it's like, for me, Jen, I'd love to know in your body, like when you. I don't know if you still get to this point, but sometimes I'll get so uncomfortable. Especially if it's a talk where, like, you know, I'm used to talking to women. Maybe it's all men and maybe they're like in finance. And I'm just like, what am I doing here? And I'm like, do I have value? All of these things are going through my head. What are some of the things that you have done in those moments of just complete, like, it can feel like you just want to break down and cry. That's sometimes how fear can come through. For me, it's like I know I can't go anywhere because maybe I'm paid or I signed a contract and I feel stuck. I feel like I want to cry. I feel like I don't know what to do. Like I'm going to break down. Tell me about some of those moments if you've had them.

Yes. Wait, so the first one is about speaking for like a bunch of dudes where I want to change my entire talk. Right?

That was me too.

I have an entire mantra that I say now to, to sure that this doesn't happen because many times there's many times that I'm speaking in front of a lot of men. And that's just, is there's not a lot of, you know, there's, there's female events, there's, there's women at events. But in the entrepreneurial space, I think that we could both equally say that there's more bro events. And I'm often one of the only women speaking at these bro events. And I take pride in that. I, I love it. I think it's great.

Love that about you.

And I love bringing my feminine energy now especially. But when it first started and I first started finding myself in these rooms, I will never forget there was one, it was called the eight figure boardroom. And so everyone in the room was like, they were all like dudes, like real like dude dude dudes. And they were all eight figure dudes or wanting to be eight figure dudes. So they were There to learn how to make money. And I'm sitting there watching. We were in Mexico. It was at their Mastermind event, and they flew me in to do this. And there was all guys there. There's. There's maybe three women in the entire room. And every guy that goes up and speaks before me has, like, laser pointers. And they're doing 1, 2, 3, 4, step 5, step 6, step 7, to make a million dollars. Then you go and you do. And they're teaching tactical stuff. Make a lot of money. And my talk is all story based. I have them, like, visualize their perfect day for a minute and 47 seconds in the beginning. You, like, it's. It's all my stories. And it's totally different.

Yes.

Just completely different. So I'm sitting there thinking, I have to change my entire talk. I have to change the whole thing. And I'm having a panic attack. Yeah. And I'm sitting there thinking, oh, my God, what do I do? Okay, I'm gonna throw this out, and I'm gonna start teaching them step by step process to xyz. And I'm mapping it out, and I'm planning it out in my mind, and I'm freaking out. And I remember calling my husband. I was like, I cannot do my talk here. I cannot. And he's like, you are. You have to stay true to who you are because they brought you there for a reason. Just do it. And he talked me off the ledge, and I was like, all right, I'm terrified right now. I'm literally in tears. Like, this is not okay. They are going to boom me off the stage. They're not going to understand me. This is. This is mortifying.

Oh, my God. I want to cry right now because I know this feeling.

Yeah, it was. No, it was. It was not fun, but I. I forced myself to do it. Now every time you do the thing you're afraid to do, you take away a little bit of fierce power. So this was important that I did this this one time. And I go up and I do it. I get off stage, there is a line out the door of these guys to come talk to me. The majority of them in tears. I said they needed to hear because heard it all day. And most of them knew all the strategies, they knew all the tactics, but really there was fear holding them back of being seen. And what I came up there and said was so different from everybody else. And I brought my own spin on it that nobody else could because they were my stories, and I made them feel something. And that was the moment where I realized, holy crap, your secret sauce is your uniqueness. And every time I get up, I go to an event, this happens to me. And I'll see Ed Mylett or Eric Thomas, these guys like, before me that are, like, screaming at the audience, and they're all. The audience loves it. They're so amped up. And I feel like I have to be more like them. I start to feel it every time I'm like, oh, God, I got to be more like that. They like that.

I have same.

And then I have to check myself. And I remember that time at the eight figure boardroom. And I say to myself, be more Jen. Be more Jen. Because there's already an Ed Mylett, there's already an Eric Thomas, there's already a Lori Harder. There's already. Everybody has their own individuality. And the only way that I'm going to be memorable or touch the people that I need to touch is if I bring more of me and my story. And there will be people that don't like it. And that's okay. That's okay, because I'm not talking to that person. And so my other mantra after God, speak to me and through me is be more gen. And I lean into it, and there's been rooms that I've been in where it's been even more broly light than that. And now I actually have fun with it where I'm like, all right, I'm going to be as girly as possible for this room. Yes, Jen, as I possibly can. And it's. It's a lot more fun. And you'd be surprised how many people resonate with you when you are just. Just authentically yourself, because people can sniff out inauthenticity from a mile away. And I think that the number one thing that I find that the most powerful speakers in the world have in common is they show up on stage, is exactly who they are, and they bring their uniqueness, their stories, their individuality to the table. Because people connect with vulnerability. Vulnerability is the way that we connect with one another. And sharing your true story and who you truly are and allowing your heart to just be on the stage and not try to be anybody that you're not is always going to be the way that you allow other people to do the same, even when they're sitting in a. In a chair watching you. I love to watch people just, like, completely let their guard down when they're. When they're watching me. And I feel like me being myself and allowing Myself to share, like, my. Who I really am and my imperfect stories and my, like, whatever. Like, I tell stupid jokes sometimes that don't land. I'm like, that was dumb. And then just people just, like, they exhale and they're allowed either with me and experience it. And that's. That's the key.

It's just everything you just shared, just what I love about it is you're not even trying to make them some crazy, like, perfect, flawless speaker. That is not the goal. It's like arming people with enough tips, tricks, experience, info about how to create talks and, you know, create talks that fit them and who they are and how to be authentic on stage. Like, that is the key. You are so you on stage. Which also probably makes it a whole lot easier to prep keynotes when you're not trying to be somebody else or talk about something sciency that you thought was so cool. And now you have to learn about it and talk about it. Like, this is. It's such an art of just fully being you on stage. And I think that is what makes people completely drawn to you. And it's not a secret. It's like you're teaching people how to do this. So let's talk a little bit about that because you've created something where you are going to be able to give some framework around creating keynotes for people being able to create signature talks, which, by the way, you guys, I just have to say, like, yes, I do talks, but let me just tell you, I tell my story sometimes two times a day on a podcast. Like, the power of how much better I feel now kind of knowing what my key points of my story are, which, by the way, I want to get even better with it because, like, it's so important to be able to walk through your story powerfully and connect people quickly, whether you're doing an IG Live, whether you're doing a podcast, whether you're writing an email, whatever that is. Like, it's so powerful. So tell me about what you've created and why.

I finally created this thing that a lot of people have been asking me to do for a while, but I never felt like it never felt like time. And I hate saying the right time because I'm always a start before you're ready type of girl. But I felt really, you were there with me when we decided I was going to go for this. And, you know, when things I was like, this has to happen, and it clicked and it was pouring out of me, and this is the time. So I created the speaker school and this is my very first program, all around speaking. And I'm not trying to teach anything that anyone really actually taught me. It's all from my experience. So everyone that joins this with me, it's going to be an eight week program. I'm teaching it live because this is the founding group, this is the first time I'm ever doing it. And so every single week we're going to get together and I'm going. You're going to walk away with your signature keynote. You're going to walk away with your core story formula, which is how to tell your story in three parts, super simple. You're going to walk away with your brand snap, which is like your one liner, how to say who you are and what you do in one sentence. You're going to walk away with all of your stage essentials, your speaker kit, your speaker reel, your speaker bio, how to brand yourself as a speaker. And my hope is that everybody leaves speaker school with at least one stage booked. Because I'm going to give you all the tools, not just to be able to crush it on stage, but how to book stages, how to build the relationships to book stages, how to pitch yourself to stages, and then how to, once you've gotten a stage, amplify the crap out of it so you can book more and more and more and more stages with that stage. So we're going to go all the way from building the keynote, the stories, the takeaways for your audience, the way that you can monetize all that talks about, to getting on the stage, stage presence, crushing it, to amplifying it, building the brand around it so that you get booked again and again and again. We're going to do it all together in eight weeks and at the very end, we're going to have a really amazing live event where you get to workshop with me in person and have a graduation event. And it's everything that I've learned from becoming, I would say, I mean, Real Leaders magazine called me the top 50 speaker in the world. So I say that now. But like, I don't even claim that I'm an expert. Again, I am someone that's in the field doing this day in and day out. I speak, I think I've spoken on well over 100 stages in the past couple of years. So I'm going to teach everybody in speaker school what I've learned from the wrong way to do it to the right way to do it, the way that feels the best. And I want everybody to Leave with stages booked, standing ovations, and most importantly, feeling freaking confident. Every time you tell your story, every time you communicate, whether that's on a podcast or that's on an actual physical stage or a virtual stage or in a conversation on a, a date, I want all my students feel like they've got it, everything that they need under their belt to be able to be their most authentic selves while communicating an impactful story.

Okay, what goes into a good keynote?

Okay, so there is. So some people are gonna be listening to this and they're like, jen, I, I don't agree with you. And that's totally. Okay, great.

Because this is our, this is our version, so whatever.

And listen, there's a zillion ways to do everything. There are a zillion ways to do everything. Take it or leave it. The most important thing is that you do what's right for you. But I've done keynotes both ways. I've done keynotes with a framework and step by step systems, right? Like, okay, part A, point B, point C, and step one, step two, step three. And I've also done keynotes that are all story based. And I've been in the audience for keynotes that are frameworks. Step one, step two, step three. And I've been in the audience in keynotes that are story based. And it doesn't matter if you're teaching something really, really tactical or not. I always find that I remember the talks that are stories. Same emotionally get attached. And I have an emotional connection with keynotes that are based on stories. So I find that when you tell stories as, and, and you attach a tool and a takeaway to every story. And that's how I build keynotes. And when you come to speaker school, I'm going to give you an exact framework to how to build your keynote. A story based keynote. Even if you're teaching rocket science, I don't care what you're teaching, you can still make it a story based. You know, Andrew Huberman did an entire episode of this and I'm not a scientist, so I can't tell you the science behind it. But why? Our brains actually remember things when we're told stories way better. So I always just open with an amazing opening line and then I've got 4, 3, 2. Depends how long my keynote can be. Different stories that answer a frequently asked question and within the story give a takeaway, a major takeaway that you want the audience to walk away with and a tool that they can use. And it's all based on that story that you told that helps answer a question that they're asking. And there's all kinds of ways to figure out what those frequently asked questions are. I do a lot of Instagram lives. I do a lot of polling, my audience, I have a lot of conversations. And in speaker school, we go into that in detail. But I will say that if you have a framework based keynote, I would invite you to start to shift and start telling some more stories and just see how that feels for you. It also feels a lot more natural and the audience connects with you a lot more when they're not looking at slides behind you when they're looking at you.

Mm. Okay, I love this. So you're gonna get really tactical. Like, you're gonna talk about slides. No slides, story key points, all of these other things. And okay, so this is huge because whenever I want you guys to think about all of your favorite books, like, they're probably like. Especially if you're in the self help department, like, probably people listening to this podcast, you're. Probably. When you. When I say someone like Elizabeth Gilbert or Danielle laporte, you're like, oh, my God, those books moved me. Like, even like, Gay Hendricks, like, the Big Leap. Like, there are so. These are books that are so story based. Like, when you really look at the books that have really hit and shifted people, yes, there's a lot of learnings and sometimes there's steps in there, but there's rich with stories. Like, they just. At a fundamental level, you are com connecting because it's another human telling you, like, the truth of their life around the. Their lessons and things like that. And so Chris and I will listen to a lot of, you know, like, books out loud before we go to bed or on walks. And this summer, we. We were like, not. We were in a drought. We were in a book drought. And we were kind of going through and listening to these books, and I'm like, like, God, I feel like they're just, like, telling me what to do. Like, they're yelling at me. And he's like, have you noticed there's not been one story in any of these books yet in the first, like, three chapters? Because we're just going through them. And I was like, oh, that's what it is. Okay.

Yep.

These are all, like, very tactical. Like, I know nothing about the person telling me what I should be doing. I'm like, stop telling me what to do. And I don't know if you've ever sat in an audience like that, but that's how it feels. It's like, oh, my God, I'm overwhelmed. I don't feel like I can do this. It's just more steps. Like, it's when we stop and go, okay, like, here was the step or here's the lesson, but here's how it really looked like. Here's how it actually works for me.

It.

It. I think what storytelling does is it humanizes the lessons and makes them possible a thousand percent.

And honestly, like, there's. Like I said, there's so many ways to do one thing. There's so many ways to build a business. There's so many ways to start a podcast. There's so many ways to write an. There's so many ways to scale your company. There's so many ways to raise money. If you were to go on stage and say, this is the only way to do it, I feel like that would be irresponsible. And I do an Instagram Live every single day. And one thing that I say every day when I get on Live is I say, I'm not here to give you advice. I'm not here to give you advice because that would be irresponsible of me because I don't know what's specifically going on in your business. I don't know what your goals are. I don't know what you like, I don't know what you dislike and what's going to work for you. But the only thing that I do know is my personal experience and the stories that I have that relate to your question. So I can share with you my personal experience, my story, and hopefully you can take something away from my story that resonates with you and do it your own way. So here's another thing, Lori, what I found. A lot of the times I'll go to an event and I'll see speakers go on stage and say pretty much the same thing that I'm saying. Like, we've been to several events together where everyone's on the stage saying, oh.

God, I have the same talk saying.

I'm saying the same thing. Because in personal development, it's pretty much the same concepts.

Yep.

Pretty much everyone's saying the same thing now. The only way, like, I know, no matter what, with the keynote that I've built, the keynote I'm going to teach people to build. No matter what anybody says before or after me, it could be they could be saying the same thing. Mine's going to sound different because no one's going to tell the story that I'm going to Tell, because it's my story. So the way that you just completely remove that and get. Put it off the table, that you're going to say the same thing as somebody else is telling stories, because somebody can get up there and say, the steps to creating confidence. Now, if I went up there and said, okay, these are the steps to creating confidence, and my steps are different than that person, that's going to look real, well, wild, like, oh, whose steps do I believe? Who's telling the truth? But if they say the steps to creating confidence, and I go up there and I say, here's my story of how I learned how to create confidence. And I'm still not that confident. But here's how. Just, just listen to this story. And I was really confident at this moment. And like, in there, you. You find, oh, she did this. Oh, she did that. Oh, that's interesting. Interesting. Then I'm not saying that I have all the answers. I'm just saying this was my experience and this is how I did it. And you can take it or leave it. And I find, like, that is there's a way, way less imposter syndrome that comes with that, because you're just sharing your truth.

Oh, my God, I love that. Because I can't tell you how many times when you start getting opportunities, guys, like, especially after you do her. Her speaker school, and you meet so many other people who are in there, not only wanting to do the same thing, but also creating opportunities for you. Like, you and I create opportunities for each other to speak all of the time, because we're both interested in speaking. So it's like, come to my stage. Come to my stage. Come to on my podcast. Come on my podcast. Come to my mastermind. And that's the really cool thing about getting in the room, getting in speaker school, is that it's a ton of people who are all either creating stages, know people who have stages, referring people. And let me just tell you how many people have you, like, referred to other stages? Because the, like, the founder of that particular event is like, hey, do you know anyone else who's a great speaker? Because great speakers know great speakers. It's like this ripple effect. You need to be hanging out with these people and get in the groups and get in the rooms. But let's talk about how you put in the reps throughout your life, because I know this is such an important piece of what you're about to teach as well. I'm sure you'll have some sort of, you know, who knows, some sort of Contest around it. Very gen. Like, I don't even know. But tell me about the reps that you believe in putting in around speaking.

Oh, man. Well, I learned about this from. I tell this story on stage. One of my favorite stories. I learned about this from Jerry Seinfeld, Ironically, back when I lived in New York, I lived in New York for 17 years, and we lived right down the street from this little comedy club. It's like tiny, tiny comedy club. It's like 15 seats. And we knew the owner, and the owner called us this one day, and he was like, jerry Seinfeld is coming to the club tonight to do a set. You have to get over here. And no one knew. It's very secret. So we ran over, and we sit in this comedy club getting ready to watch, like the goat, the greatest of all time, billionaire comedian Jerry Seinfeld. And I'm, like, ready to hear him crush it. I'm ready to laugh. I'm so excited. Jerry starts going. He's telling jokes, and he's, like, shitting the bed. Not funny. I'm like, what is stuttering? He's forgetting his jokes. And then he pulls out this piece of paper, and he starts reading jokes off of a piece of paper. Paper. And I look at Chris and I'm like, oh, my God. He's practicing right now. He is working out his material. He's allowing us or allowing himself to be seen as a beginner and allowing us to see him not perfect, a mess. Getting a wrap to see what jokes land, what don't, what's funny, what gets an applause, what doesn't, what feels good, what doesn't. We are a repetition for Jerry Seinfeld right now. And at that moment, I realized even the best are practicing and getting their reps in. And then that was the day where I was like, holy shit. Like, what? How do I become a better speaker? Like, I don't have stages to speak on every single day. I can't, like, ghost practice on a stage in front of people. So then I realized I had a stage in my pocket. Why was I not using the stage of my pocket? Because at any moment in time, we can press a button on our phones now and we can speak in front of an audience. So that around that time was when I started get ready with me. And I put my makeup on every day, and I practice telling my stories. And I'm not telling you guys that you have to do this. Find some way, shape or form. Because my stories in my keynote and the things that I talk about and the stuff that I do on stage is not like, I figured it out once and I mapped it out once with a coach, and then it landed. It's. It's. It's been hours and hours and hours of me practicing, telling those stories on Instagram live, on stages, in conversations, on podcasts, and hearing when the. When people laugh, hearing when people zone out, hearing when people just go quiet, and it's like, oh, that didn't work. Getting the reps and doing it again and again and again. The way that we get good at anything is by practicing. Professional athletes, they don't practice less. When they get really good, they actually practice more. So I find that the more repetitions we can get with speaking specifically, the better we become. And it's really about being courageous enough to be seen as a beginner and to not be perfect all the time. And I find for me, that Instagram Live is a great place to do that. But in speaker school, I'm going to share with you a lot of different ways to get your repetition. We'll be able to do that with the community as well.

Oh, I have so many. Okay. So many things came up for me around that. Number one, the Jerry Seinfeld thing. In order to be really, really good, the amount of grace it starts to take, because the better you get, the bigger of a reputation you have to keep up for people. And the more that you are willing to, like, risk that reputation, let it be okay for people to see you sucking as a beginner, the better you're gonna stay. You'll stay in a class of your own. You'll be untouchable. And, you know, I also think that that is going to help people with pivots in their life, pivots in their career. Because what happens is, like, Jen, like, people perceived you, you know, when you were an actress, like, oh, my God, she's a great actress. Now she's speaking. No totally different ball games. Like, you actually have to suck it. Like, you're gonna suck at speaking in the beginning because it's not the same. So it allows you, when you see. Start getting used to that. It allows you to pivot easier because you're like, oh, I've been a beginner before. Like, I can be a beginner again. Even though I had the success, Like, I'm. I'm good with that. So it's super powerful in that regard. I think that's actually been a huge secret to all of my pivots, is I'm totally willing to risk, like, or not even Risk, like, know that I built up that reputation in that other place. So wherever you guys are right now, like. Like, you don't lose that reputation. In fact, speaking is really cool because you get to give context. You could literally be like, hey, guys, I'm a beginner again with you. You know, I'm a beginner again. I'm gonna try this. Like, give context and then go for it. So I think that's so powerful that the best people are really willing, like you said, to just look foolish again, start over, be a beginner. And that is, like, the most relatable place I feel like you can ever be. And you get to be there all the time. If you keep growing. The other one is. I love that you and I truly. I think the. The place where we really put in a lot of reps was lives. Like, I started a. I used to do Facebook Live every single day for a year, and it was a huge. It was something that, like, catapulted my career, helped fill my events, and completely changed my life. And I can tell you that because of those lives, I think that's why I was able to start a podcast with less being stuck in my head, because I was like, oh, I already do this. I already kind of talk to nobody and fill space for 15, 20 minutes every day. Like, I can absolutely turn on a mic and record it. So I love that you talk about putting in the reps, and I love that you still do that. Oh, my God. Are you still doing that, like, every.

Morning, every day, no matter what? And when I'm not getting, like, there's some days where I'm traveling and I'm not putting my makeup on, so I just make sure I do it in the car or I do it on a walk. So now we just. And just on a total side note, the power of going live on social, y'. All. We've created, like, come join me in the morning. It's a community. And now it's not even about me anymore at all. It's like I'm holding space. I. I have the post, the party for all the people that come every day to connect with each other. And that alone is so fun and so cool. It's way bigger than what I ever thought it would be. And it still is a platform where I can practice new material, too. Every day.

I practice telling people, yeah, I love that. Oh, my gosh. I actually just got to go to a comedy routine where it was Ellen DeGeneres, who is, like, has a Netflix special coming out, but she was going around booking all these really small venues, practicing her Netflix Live. So they don't just like write the talk and practice for friends. They want to do it in front of an audience for that reason. So how cool that we have an audience. Ellen can't necessarily go on and turn Facebook Live on, on. So that's like a. We have a really unique luxury and gift with social media. Like, don't waste it, try it. It's the thing that'll scare you the most, that'll get you the fastest results is, is doing that.

Agreed? Agreed.

All right, so tell me, tell me all of the rest of the details that we're gonna do in speaker school. I know you went over it, but let's talk about it one more time for people because I think it's, I think it's vital for everybody. In fact, I'm like, okay, so I need to tell my story better and my just like one liner of what I do better. So yeah, do tell again anytime.

Or you can join speaker school.

Yeah, I'll call you.

Yes, I think that's, that's perfect. So speaker school, this is kind of timely. So we are opening the enrollment on September 23rd and it's closing on September 30th and speaker school starts October 1st. Because my goal is that you are done before the holidays. You've got your signature talk Talk. You've got everything in place so you can step into 2025 with all of that confidence, getting ready to crush the speaker game for the year in 2025. So it's going to be an eight week program and every week I'm going to teach a module live. You're going to get Q A live with me every week. We also are hosting the community in a really, really cool platform called Member up that a few of our friends founded. And it's beautiful and amazing. So everyone's going to get to be in touch with each other every week. And every week you're going to have a performance assignment. So that means that you're going to be held accountable to creating your signature talk, your speaker kit, your, your brand snap, your power and all of these things that you need to have to be able to build out the best speaker platform. Your. All of your stage essentials are actually going to be assignments every week. So you're held accountable. So by the time you're done, it's done, you've done it, you have everything. And you're not doing it alone. You're doing it with a community one week at a time. I'll be guiding you. I'll be with you there every single week. We're going to be talking about everything from building out that keynote to also brushing it on stage. All the secrets that I've learned along the way of what works and what doesn't on stage and then how to amplify it and build your brand as a speaker so you can consistently book more stages and get paid to speak, monetize all those engagements. And then at the end, December 1st, we're going to have a graduation event, an in person event that's there's two different levels of speaker school. So when you do the second level, level icon, you get to come to that event, workshop with me in person and celebrate with all the other graduates. It's going to be epic. So I would love for anybody that wants to start speaking and communicating better to join me. And the link to sign up will just be in your show notes.

We'll put that all below. And you guys, I really like, I am not, I am not kidding when I tell you I think this is one of the biggest things that you can do for your life and your career and your confidence and that will ripple into everything and it'll. When you finally get yourself in those rooms too, it changes what you get out of the rooms because of what you're able to say, articulate how you show up in the room. It, it's everything. It's literally everything, Jen. Like everything I trace back to, like being brave enough to start telling stories and opening my mouth and like taking up space. Like speaking is truly like allowing yourself to be confident enough to know that what you have to say is good and it matters and you've put thought into it and, and it adds value and I think that's what really creates confidence as well. So I'm so excited about it and you just reminded me the importance of kind of like tweaking those things because I'm so out in the world telling stories right now and I want to feel more confident. So there you go. But I'm so grateful for you. The links are below. You guys go and check those out. Like she said, it is really timely. So if you felt called to this, just go do it. It's. It's only going to make your life so much better. So thank you so much, Jen, for coming on. I love you so much.

Love you so much. Thanks for having me.

Absolutely. And you guys, thank you. If you know anybody who could use this, share it with them and share it quickly because it's timely, but share it with them. Let them know that they have a story and they should be heard. And until next time, everyone, earn your happy. Bye, everyone.