Multi-Million Dollar Success Starts with Releasing Shame & Owning Your Story with Shoshanna Raven

It's unconscious for so many of us. We're like, I don't have shame. If you've ever hedged, if you've ever apologized, if you ever said yes when you want to say no. What if I'm not lovable? What if he leaves me? What if I end up alone? All of this. This is shame.

The thing that shame does is it keeps you quiet. The thing that you need the most in a lot of those times is someone to say, oh, my gosh, me too. Everything really large in my life, that has been one of the largest challenges I haven't gotten through alone. It's been because someone says, me, too. Here's what I did. Shoshana, welcome to the podcast. I'm so excited to have you on.

I'm so happy to be here.

I found you through one of our mutual friends, and I'm so excited that I did, because I love all the topics that you talk about.

We.

You know, I had seen my friend Amanda Francisco and speak at your event, and I was like, hold on a minute. Who is this person? Because I have a big background of female events, and I feel like whenever I meet another woman who does large female events, I'm like, okay. A lot of times, our mission, our vision, those things are very much the same, because if you feel called to put on an event, which is very people who do have never done them, it's like, one of the most expansive things that, in my opinion, you can go through as a human. So I reached out because I was like, I feel like I would love to have a chat with this. With this person, because I got to see the event, I heard great things about it, and I really wanted to connect. So I'm excited that not long after this, we're having this conversation right now. And the more that I dug in, the more I'm like, oh, I really, really love your message. Where it's coming from, the values, the fact that you're really all about, like, slaying shame and fear and continuing on with it. So I'm excited to open this up because, like, that is your battle cry, in a way, is shame. Right. So tell me, like, where that came from.

Well, I want to start off by saying, are the pure embodiment of collaborative frequency. Of more is more of just like, yes, new friends, which is everything I'm all about. I'm like, I want to join a new space and, like, blow up. Like, if it's a chat box, chat room, I'm like, oh. Like, I want to be a Party. I want to connect, and you are probably, like, one of the top super connector people I've ever met. Like, it is just amazing. You've already connected me with people who have really, like, changed things for me, who have just. And it's. Having someone like you in your orbit is just such a dream. So I'm so excited to, like, collaborate with you, to get to know you. It's. It's amazing.

Okay. I do have to tell you that that is my. It's my absolute favorite thing on Earth to do with the right energy. And I can, you know, I can recognize it now really, really fast. So I will say it took a lot of work of doing wrong connections and collaborations to learn. The energy that I understand is something that I actually just call it girlfriend energy. But that means a lot to me. It means, like, my solar plexus feels good. It feels very mutual. It feels excited. Both parties feel excited. There's not one that's kind of like, I'm really, like, I feel like you're benefiting from this, but I'm not. It's very. It just feels like a very clean, mutual girlfriend. Let's be friends, like, see how we can help each other. And that's just taken years to learn. And, like, I won't jump into things as quickly as we did if I don't feel that.

So.

Yeah, that's you.

Yeah. And it. You have to make all the mistakes. I think Christians, that's something recently, like, an expert is someone who has made all of the mistakes imaginable in a narrow window. It's like, yes, that is it. Like, being so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You see, you learn. And. Yeah, I'm just. It's. It's such a joy when you see someone who's also creating for the love of creating. I know that we were speaking about that before, like, collaboration. It's like, yeah, you win, and who's winning more? And it just all feels very transactional rather than. What I love about podcasting is I started living brave with a podcast that had no business, that had no offers. I just felt like I had a message that had changed my life, and if I didn't share it with someone, like, I was going to pop. Every time I got quiet, I sat in a meditation. It was like. It was kind of like all this creative energy bubbling inside of me that was just looking for a release valve, and it was going to come out somewhere, and so I didn't know what I was doing, and I didn't know how it was going to work. And like I was staying up until like 3:00am, you know, editing this podcast on GarageBand, just trying to get my voice out and my computer actually crashed. Like my first podcast and I didn't back anything up. I didn't know what I was doing. I'm like crying in the back of the Apple Store, like so much grief, you know, because you forget like tech just happens. And when you have a media business, you figure this out. And I started all over and it just felt good to create and it just felt good to express and it just felt right. And I think as someone, I never considered myself a creative person. I wasn't good enough to be creative. I was analytical. You know, we get put in our lane at an early age to really claim that we get to make art. Even if I don't know how to draw a stick figure and my handwriting looks like a raccoon on crack. Like I can make something and then other people can benefit from it. And I think people lose, lose that in their business when it becomes very transactional. And what I like to teach is that we're, we really are co creating our reality on different planes. Like there's our focus and what we feed, we focus on and energy flows to and our frequency, like what we are drawing in. Vibes don't lie. You can feel it. Like you don't have to get super woo to understand that. Right? And then on the material plane. So when you're loving what you're doing, when you're doing it, when you have passion and when you're really playing the game for the love of the game, like you're collaborating with people not to get something next month or next year. But you see that everything you pour in when you are playing to just keep playing because you love it, it comes back like tenfold in six months, like in six years. It just through a doorway that you weren't even looking at, that looks unrelated. It's just like what you pour in comes back. And that's what I love so much about collaboration. What you guys are doing with Gloce and how all the dots on your journey have only connected, you know, looking back. So Shane slang. Okay, Shane slaying being the foundation of what I do. And you said, you know, helping people work with their shame and with their fear. We definitely slay shame. But what I've learned, and I haven't met a single person who has slayed fear. Like I have been behind the scenes of so many successful women's lives, businesses and I actually Love to just give people permission to be human and to feel brave. And bravery. Frequency is not like confidence. Confidence is like settled and sturdy and we all want that, but we don't want like the really kind of messy, crazy, what feels chaotic part of the growth journey which if you're growing at a rapid pace, you're never really settled. This place of confidence. There are some things that you feel confident in because you have evidence and then you're being brave over and over, which literally means you're just with fear all the time. You're with uncertainty. And the greatest thing in my new book I it's called the Limit does not Exist. I talk about the four main limits that hold us back from the sense of, oh my gosh, like the limit does not exist. Lindsay Lohan moment. The first limit that makes everything else quite impossible. Like I love talking about, you know, how we navigate relationships and circumstances and societal systems. But the first limit is ourselves. And shame is like the deepest lie that we hold about ourselves. It's so dense and it, it's so unconscious that it, it sucks your energy and you walk around like hiding and so shame. It's okay to have things that we hold private from the world. I think people see me and they're, I don't want to tell the Internet about my herpes status, thank you very much. You don't have to do that. Right. But the idea is that anything that we're holding back, like what if they find out the truth about me, that there's this thing, trauma is anything that we feel happened to us not for us. And there's nothing from our past that we can't turn into post traumatic growth. Right. So this thing that I'm holding that happened to me that if people found out, they would know I'm not really who I say I am. I'm not really lovable, I'm not really enough. I don't really deserve to be here. And that just distorts every single layer of reality that we're creating change on. We hyper focus on something that doesn't need to matter. All the energy flows there. And then we make it mean that we're bad, that we're wrong, that life forgot about us. And we start to compensate in our action. We start to like try to hide and protect and avoid. And as you know, being someone who's created amazing things, it takes having an approach strategy like I'm going to run towards what I want to create. But when we're protecting, hiding, avoiding, it leads to like very short Term strategy. It leads to building a life that doesn't even feel like our own to prove that we're good enough. And so my, like, main way to break through limit one is through vulnerability is through, like, what my podcast did in the beginning, before I had an offer. It was like, let's just talk about the stuff that no one's talking about. Because through authentic connection, you will find freedom. When you drop the mask, you give other people permission to my modeling the way the rarest thing on planet earth is not the woman who's confident. That's amazing. It's not the woman who has it all figured out. That's great. It's the person who's willing to be seen and who clearly loves and accepts themselves. Like, I wasn't the prettiest. I don't have all the clothes. I didn't have a boyfriend. I didn't have the bank account. I built my business from my par, you know, house. It was like the 90s 80s decor. It wasn't that. That's magnetic. It's someone who's like, wow, they love and accept themselves, like, for who they are and where they've been at, and they know who they are, and they know at least not even where they're going, but what matters to them. And they're willing to find the gap in the conversation and go places other people won't go. And so that's my passion in the world, is to help people liberate themselves and then play all these really fun games in business and the world. Like, okay, now we get past ourselves. That's just a ticket into the arena. You know, here we can actually play the game.

That is.

So that is.

That is the number one foundation, truly. I. I have so much to say on this, and I want to hear just one or two of your stories as well. But as you're talking, I'm like, yep, that was the first thing I had to get over. I had two. I. I had like, two really large moments in my life. I actually had hundreds and hundreds of these moments. But some that popped into my head immediately were I did not graduate high school. I was raised Jehovah's Witness. So, like, door knocking my whole life. And I wasn't allowed to hang out with anyone outside of my religion. So that really caused a lot of, like, just kind of like a lot of challenges around even learning how to, like, talk to other humans and networking and. And pretending as I got into business, quote, unquote, that I was smart enough. And I had such shame around how are people going to take me serious? Which, you know, when I started business, this was. You guys, this was like, 17 years ago now, when education truly, if you don't remember, if you're too young for this, it was everything. Like, if you had a business, you better have gone to college or you better have something that people will take you serious on. Not some high school dropout who figured out how to sell some stuff online. So literally, it was like I was hiding this thing that I thought if people found out that they wouldn't take me seriously. So it just felt like, oh, my God, any minute someone's going to research me. They're going find this out. I'm going to be a fraud. I'm going to be canceled. It's going to be all the things. And that was holding me back in so many ways and holding me back in, like, rooms that I even wanted to be in, because I've always felt like I was one deep conversation away from getting found out. So guess what? I never put myself in those experiences because it was always like I was kind of protecting myself. And I think people felt that. It was like, why can't we go super deep with this girl? It was such a protective layer which doesn't allow your absolute, like, genius to come out, which will come out, you guys, because if you know it, you know it. Listening to us right now, like, you felt it. You know it when you had heard her open with those first, like, few minutes. You feel it, you know, you need to. You know you're going to burst if you don't get that thing out. But the foundation is literally exactly what she's saying, is that getting past that. And the only way I got past that was being vulnerable and being like, hey, I got to talk. I got to, like, get this out there. I got to tell the story. And I had to believe. I loved what you said. I've never heard that. Trauma is the belief that it's happening to you, not for you. And I actually had to frame the story. Like, if I can do this without graduating, look at what you guys can do. I flipped the story. That's what gave me freedom. And so before that, no freedom. After I flipped the story, talked to a bunch of people, got vulnerable with girlfriends, you know, started letting that out one person by one person. That's when I freed myself, and a whole other level came through. So I have a couple others, but I want to hear one for you that was like, what was your first foundational? Like, oh, shit. Like, this is shackling.

Me. Oh, I love that we all feel sometimes alone in our journeys until we see it's different content but the same context. And I think that's really the path of transformation. Why transformation is such a. A spiritual journey is that you're so. In your story, you're so. You take everything at face value. And that's really what I did. It's like someone tells me this is good, Someone tells me this is bad. Someone tells me this is how you get taken seriously. But even when we're talking about success, like, people are confused about what success is really about. It's like if we want to get a promotion, get a raise at a traditional job, or you want to get an A in school, like, then, yes, follow the rules, play the part, look the part. But in real life and love and entrepreneurship, that's not how the world works. You're rewarded by creating something rare and valuable. Like, Right. Like then the more rare and valuable it is, like, that's, that's how you gain success. And then having the right business model allows you to scale. Right? So it's like it has nothing to do with what you think it's about. And I think when you break free from the box and you realize you weren't even in a box, like right now I feel like I have probably reached 1% of my capacity. Like, I don't know what kind of matrixes I'm still living inside of. Right. But it's like that whole discovery process. So for me, it was really the whole journey with. I was, gosh, what age? I was in my 20s and I was traveling. I had quit my job. And I felt like this conditional sense of confidence on the outside. And I dove into some spiritual work. Like, oh my gosh, I'm my mo. I'm more than my mind, my body. I am not Shivshana. I'm the unborn undying self. Yes, right. And like in the part of my journey. But what I did and the how naive I was is I thought that meant I could just suppress my human story and I could just transcend it. And I was in Nepal and I got really sick and I had a 104 fever, nerve pain down my legs. Thousands of miles away from family and friends, staying at this five dollar night guest house. And Bhaktopur, this medieval city, huge new year celebration. Thousands of people in the town square playing tug of war over a giant chariot. I'm trying to hold myself up on this Ganesha statue. Like, where? What's going on? You know, the $1. Antibiotics weren't working. I'm shivering under piles of blankets. It's like the heat of the summer, and it's really scary that. Finally go to the hospital. Like, okay. You know, women sometimes just get stressed. I'm like, that moment you just feel like. Like angry, but really scared. And so I got back and I just had this feeling. I open up my phone, and my hands, like, start shaking as I'm typing. Like, I. I just know. And the. All the anonymous threads come up full of pain, full of heartbreak, full of shame, isolation. Accounts that don't even want you to know their name. Herpes. And I just know. In a second, my whole world crumbled. I actually saw a photo of myself and saw someone else. It was like that. It was a complete, like, identity. Ego, death, really. Moment of, like, wow, my life is over. Like, I had it coming to me. I attracted this thing. No one's gonna love me. And it was like all of this, like, confidence that it looked like I had on the outside, like, traveling the world. I'd quit my job. Like, you saw what was really underneath. You saw what I really felt about myself. You saw what I had inherited from women from generations and generations in our families, right? And so I didn't want to get found out. And so I booked my flight home, and I just felt like an absolute victim. And it didn't matter that people told me, you know, that I saw the stats, that 1 in 2 women will have an STI before age 25. Didn't matter. Not because the shame was already there. It's unconscious for so many of us. We're like, I don't have shame. If you've ever hedged, if you've ever apologized, if you ever said yes when you want to say no, like, there are reasons why you are not acting in alignment with your truth right there. It's. It's there. If you already maybe felt like, what if I'm not lovable? What if he leaves me? What if I end up alone? All of this. This is shame. And so it finally gave my shame something to grasp onto, and I started running for myself again. This girl who had quit her job to go, you know, find enlightenment. India. I moved to Denver, and I start going out all the time. I have no boundaries. I let everything in and out, and I'm completely. I'm running from myself. And isn't until I am crying myself to sleep one night after a party where I feel so alone in a big room, and I just hear that familiar voice, which is Our high self. Like, who lives in that little. When you're. Sometimes she comes to you and it's just. There's nowhere else to go. It is so quiet. There's. You can't hide, you can't run. Like, you know exactly what to do. You can keep doing this, you really can, and no one will make you wrong for that, but you know what to do. You can become your own best friend again, was the message. And it's really starts with what's a good place to start on any journey. It's like loving. Love yourself, love yourself back to wholeness. And not through really thinking so much about it, but through taking all the energy and focus back onto my life and back onto treating myself well. It ran a half marathon. I traveled across the country, learned how to pitch a tent. It was like elbow deep. And like other people's dishes on the Blisswear team at yoga festivals. Through that journey, I started to open up. I started to come back to myself and I started to talk to people. I had this feeling like, maybe you're carrying some pain, like maybe you can heal yourself. It was just, we get these nudges, we get this guidance. And I thought, what if I started playing with this, with this thing I'm carrying? And I think with the travel and with all the new adventures, I started to feel space where there was one shame, started to just play. I didn't know this was energetics, but my focus shifted because there was new space. And then I started entering the field of energetics, like, what if I didn't approach this, the sob story and this victim story? Because often when you're like, I have something to tell you and you tell them a lot of tears, people are like, my God, I'm so sorry. And they tell you a scary thing back. So it's like, the world will match you. And I started kind of playing with it. So people would ask me, like, can I have a sip of your water? I'd be like, yeah, I have herpes. Don't worry, you won't get it. Like, I just started playing. Like, I'd be like flirty and funny and I'd be like earnest and sincere and passionate and say, like, yeah, I'm actually really passionate about this. And people started listening and I started to really stand out and I made a lot of new friends and I knew that's when I had to share my story and I was going to go public about it. But I had this intuition, like before I do that I am going to prepare by doing the Scariest thing that I could possibly think of. And I called it the Vulnerability Project. It's a episode one of my podcasts. You can listen to me, like, shaky voice talking about it. It's like, I'm going to tell the people I'm most terrified to tell who. Like, including the person I was dishonest with. If I can meet them in person, better. I'm just going to do the thing that scares me the most because I'm feeling that'll just set me free. And then what? What can touch me if I. If I share this that I don't care to share it with. And it was just the most. I did not want it to end. It was the most liberating journey. Realized I'm the only one holding myself back. People are trying to make out with me as I tell them about my sti. Doing your herpes, you know, like, did you hear me? Like, what's going on? And you're like, hey. Like, I felt like love. I always thought that people loved me for who I was pretending to be, but when I had nothing to hide and people like, I. How can I support you? Like, can I help you with a website? This is so cool what you're doing. And then opening up about their stuff. Like, I couldn't shut up about this. I was like, I found the magical elixir. I'm free. And I felt all this energy rush into my life. People always tell me how much energy I have. I'm like, I really feel like it's all this weight that you're holding. Every time I told the truth, I felt lighter. Felt like. Like all this energy rushed back into me that I can just tap into. And I just did not want to shut up about it. And that's really how the living brave started through that vulnerability story. So I love hearing about, you know, your journey of this thing that we think is such a big deal. And the crazy thing about that is that when we hide it to belong, it keeps us separate. But when we share, builds a bridge. Now we can connect. Now we actually feel like, I know you, I trust you. My defenses are lowered. Which for anyone in business, for sales, for any kind of relationship, I mean, that's the first step.

Yeah. I'm thinking about how every time we don't share something that is. And like you said, we're not saying, like, go and share all of your stuff right away. This comes in levels, for sure, you guys. Like, it comes in waves. You get to a place where, like, over time, when you do this Enough. You actually do want to share the thing that might seem the craziest to you right now, because what happens is every single one of those, it, it weighs something. Like it's baggage and picture. Like every time you go to do something even challenging, you're like, nope, you got to pick up every one of those shame suitcases and carry it with you. Like, there's just no energy for that. And so as you put them down, you're like, oh my God, I had no idea that I'd feel more alive, awake, more connected to people, more willing. Like, when I walk in the room, I don't feel as, like, scared. I don't have as much anxiety because you're just like, here I am.

Like, yeah, I outed myself.

Like, you outed yourself totally.

It's is realizing it's just content. And I think that's what putting it out there is. You see it for what it is. You see it's a story. You see it's a valid story, it's a real story, but it's just a story like, oh, I'm doing this thing, Lori. I was feeling this thing, right? Like that this is what was happening for me. It's like I can observe myself. I'm the context of my thoughts and feelings. I don't get wrapped up and just live as a reaction to my life and to circumstance. I see that I'm, I'm co creating with life and the material that it's giving me.

I love this because you're flipping even so much of what is happening in my life right now. Like, I'm in a, I'm in a fundraise. There's some, you know, normal challenges of being in a startup, but if I were to look at them as, wow, there's a lot of challenges right now. I can actually flip it and say, how could this be happening for me? And truly it's directing me. If I really dig into each one of what's working, what's not, who's actually working, who's a lot of talk. I need to move quicker because success loves speed. And you just, it's like, it's making me very clear. So there's a lot of challenges that if we looked at them that way, they're actually just trying to get you more clear, faster. If there's a whole bunch of shit in your life, it's probably asking for you to like, sit, get some more clarity and move, move a little quicker on the things that you know are not for you anymore. And so I know that there's four limits. So we've talked about the shame. Being number one is like the foundation I really like. I really deeply feel that the only way to go to a level two in your life is to start confronting these things. So I love your vulnerability project. Before we go to number two, I just want you to share, like, what's a mini vulnerability project that we could do for ourselves?

Like, honestly, what I always share with people, like, the practices are so simple that sometimes we don't allow them because they're too simple because that means we have to do them. Amen. Like the really getting through the main limit us and shame being the number one thing that holds us back. It's like exploring it. And you can do that through talking about it. You do that with yourself. You start, even just through this podcast, you're probably starting to go, you know, what are some. Some of the things that I tell myself? What are some? And you're just looking at the content of, like, what comes up for you, what you tell yourself. And so I would say explore it and then name it. So you're like, oh, this is what's happening. This is the shame. This is the story. And then speak it out loud. And so I didn't go and publish my podcast. The first thing I started telling, like, Uber drivers, nail artists, like that per, like, not my friends or someone who I thought would say, don't share that. Right. But somebody who I was like, I trust this person. I'm going to share my story. And then I went and I told the people that would be most frightening to tell, you know, And I've had, I remember had a client start to work with me who she signed up for business support. And obviously we are the bottleneck most of the time. When we dug in, she had a lot of. She had postpartum depression, really, that she hadn't looked at, and a lot of feelings that she didn't want first to be found out about at all. She was very afraid that people would know the truth about her. She had read this blog article that made her feel really connected. And then at the end it said, but I don't regret motherhood. I'm not a monster. And it was like the second she read that, she's like, oh, never mind. I. I have a monster and I'm having. I'm. That I can't tell people how I'm really feeling. And so she started opening up to me and I started to, like, really hear her and started to see what was going on for her. And she just started a conversation with her community, right? It wasn't even about what she did for business, but it was just like, hey, why are moms like real experiences? You know? And she started to see that people actually felt had similar experiences as her. And when you integrate that part of yourself, you realize it's not all of you. You realize it's just a part. You realize that it's just a shadow. You realize it's just fear. You realize the more you try to suppress it, the more you feel like, that's what I am. And it takes over your whole life rather than like, accept, embrace your. Your whole self. So these are just little, like, the many vulnerability projects that people can do.

I love that. And what I. What I want to say, that's like, such. The thing that shame does is it keeps you quiet. The thing that you need the most in a lot of those times is someone to say, oh, my gosh, me too. And then also to get support. So everything really large in my life that has been one of the largest challenges I haven't gotten through alone. It's been because someone says, me too. Here's what I did. And so holding all that shame and holding all of those secrets is keeping you blocked from the support that somebody who went through the thing now feels like, you know, it's their life purpose. They came out with whatever it is that was shameful, that they feel bad about it. And it now is like, you know, you came out about your herpes. Now I can't imagine how many women are being freed of feeling the shame because it is now part of your life purpose, not only to free women who have that, but so many other women that you're freeing from other things. But it becomes like. It's like this thing that's a deep shame to you becomes your purpose, and someone is waiting to help you. Like, someone is actually waiting to feel their life purpose and fulfillment for you to speak up and say, I need this help. Like, this is where I'm at, and they're waiting to help you, and that's going to give them purpose, and it's going to help you through the process. And it is, like, undeniable how I see this in every scenario. You know, I know that you've. You've probably heard this before, but like, truly, when we're in our purpose, it's. It's the. It's that we're helping the people who are three or five years behind us. Like, we're just helping a former version of ourself and we don't get to do that until we literally like share the biggest thing that we need to get through. And so can be small to start. But I'm telling you, once you start this game, I know it's unbelievable to think, think that you're going to be sharing the thing you feel most ashamed about or dumb about or if people found that out, they wouldn't take me seriously or whatever it is. But that might just be like the pivotal portal to this, this life that you dream of.

Well, there's so much I want to say about this because there's on the personal side of things like get help, get support. There's also on like people still think of vulnerability as weakness, that I need help, I need support. But when I look at this like you're not asking people to co sign collapse because then people just start dumping everywhere and they're like, we can bond on this horrible thing that happened to us. Yeah, like, that's not the point. It's like this thing happened me and it happened for me and I'm sharing this and here's who I am and here's the truth of who I am. And here's how, oh my gosh, you're a. You help people in relationships. You say, I, I got mad at my partner yesterday and I said something I didn't want to say. And then I use the tools in my toolbox and here's how I led myself. And you're being a real ass person. Like you are inspiring. You know, you're not just like saying, I'm in a lot of pain, right? Like, no, you get support, you heal, but then you get to actually share from a space of leadership. From a space of like, I'm human, I'm a person and I lead because people don't need leaders when it's like sunshine and rainbows, right? Like for me I've grown my audience and my, it has not a huge community. But it's like it's been, you know, five, six years and remember showing up in the middle of my heartbreak and I wasn't like, I need help, help me. But I was just like, it's been three weeks and, and I could not walk on day one. And I am like, I'm going through it, but here's what I have used to help myself through this. And like I was shaky and I, I wasn't like the most confident I was in it, but I was sharing from a space of leadership. And I showed up during my heartbreak and I showed up with like tears and in the realness of it, and people remember that. So that on the right day, when I have an offer, when I have an invitation, they're like, I know who you are and I trust you. And that's really what intimacy is, an intimacy of your community leader. If you're a movement maker, it's built on intimacy, even at scale. And so if we want to build, like, real intimate relationships with people, how do we do that? It takes time, but it also takes collapsing time through, like, authentic connection through going through shit together and showing people who you are under pressure. I think, like, that's. That's what reveals true character, is pressure. So when you're under pressure and you can lead through that and you don't say, well, it's all perfect, and I'm in pressure, and it's perfect because no one learns from that. But you're like, like, wow, that was so helpful. You, like, do a podcast of. Here are some of the challenges that we're navigating during this fundraising round, and here's some mistakes that we made, and here's what we would do better, and here's what we nailed, and here's how I led myself because I felt. I felt angry at myself for this part. But if you, like, that's, you know, that's leadership. So I'm so passionate about that because I feel like, you know, so many people, it's like they look like stock image of successful women, and it's like, yes, we need aspiration, but leadership builds a bridge where I'm like, now I feel like I can go have that too. Right? And so that's. That's the bridge that we walk over. I love that.

Okay, number two, let's.

Number two. Oh, my gosh. Well, the part, like the first part of the book is all about life, artistry, magic, and inspiration. And then it's all a shame slayer. So part two is where I think things get really fun, and I love playing here. And I already saw some of this come up in our conversation. So you are the first limit, and shame slaying is the tool to. To move through that. The second one is circumstance. So it's like life lifing. So when you said, like, things are challenging right now in the fundraising round, like, events are. Are expansive, like, those kinds of things, like, oh, my gosh, my tech broke the zoom link. Isn't there. They sent the wrong link. I bombed the speech, like, thing. I wanted it to be sunny outside. It's raining. Those kinds of things. Like, that's often what holds us back. And so the tool is the chill rocket ship. All about the chill rocket ship. How we can like expand our capacity, how we can get out of this dualistic world of like good and bad. And we can be in a state of active surrender and we can be in a little bit more of a, of a flow. And then the, the third is social. So we had internal, external, and now it's social relationships. And this is really the, the realm of emotion, like energy between two things, right? Energy flowing is energy, emotion, emotion. So how we relate to not just other people, but also our relationship with money. Because our attachment styles show up with everything. Our avoidance patterns, like how do I play with energy, how do I shape shift outcomes in my favor and that of the highest good. And how do I learn skills of influence and leadership like this there gets really fun. And then the. And that's the Jedi, the Jedi training school. And then the fourth limit is systemic. So I call it rules. And the tool to overcome that is the rock star. And this is like they all kind of came through every year or two in my business as I was growing. And so the rock star is really like my whole probably since motherhood, but I've always had threads of the rock star. But it really coming out and saying, oh, this is a thing, is breaking through the old systems of success and wealth and, you know, the way that you're supposed to do things and allowing yourself to stop trying to be taken seriously and innovate and play and do the work. And I think rockstars prove that all you need to be successful is to create. Create stuff that you love that other people want and hang out with other rock stars, it does not matter. Even though all of these amazing books, unlike habits and making your bed is great and journaling, all these things are great, but it's like, don't get distracted. Don't let your work prevent you from the work. Like make great art that you love and other people want and what they want, they will pay for it and just hang out with other rock stars and everything else you can just strip away and like have some freaking fun and innovate. So that's like the, the fourth limit.

Oh my gosh, I love this. So I, you know, podcasts allow you to talk to hundreds and hundreds of people. I think I, I think I've done maybe it's like 1450 podcasts now.

With.

That, I want to point out some of the most successful people that I have interviewed and things that have gone well in my Life is because we've started to turn these things that look like challenges and problems into how could I play with this? Or it's like, it's treating life more like something that we get to interact with in a playful way. And that, that has been a life changing thing for me. So I love that. In, in all of your languaging through this whole podcast, it's been like, how can I play with this? Like, maybe it's not what I think it is. Like, maybe it's not happening to me. If it, you know, how could this be happening for me? And if so, how could I play with this and use it for something else? It's like life is offering us. Yes, life is lifing. But you just pointed out something that is so important for people to realize. Like, life will reflect back to you whatever you need for, like, your highest evolution and that thing that you want. So if it's. If it's fucking life ing hard for you right now, which. There's certain areas for me that are like, I am on the brink of a next level. And everything, if I assess it, is confronting some patterns that are not gone for me yet. Like, I have an avoidant pattern that even if I, even if I like, you know, think I've gotten better at it, it'll be like, no, but I hid that one avoidant one in the closet. Like, I have been avoiding knowing that I have to empower myself with certain skill sets. And that is like, blaring me in the face because I'm handing my power over to people in certain ways. So with that, like, it's, it's, it's being able to go, okay, but where am I really? Actually, like, a lot having that thing still show up. And I hope that you can hear, like, I'm not. I was upset for maybe like a week. That's okay. Like, I was like, oh, God, I can't believe, like, I let this happen after all this time. And now I'm like, no, no. Like, you're doing so good here and you're doing great here and good for you and having so much grace with myself. But I had to, like, work back to that and go, okay, this is like truly asking me. Like, here's where your power can come back to you in the weakest place. Like, that is your biggest offering of your highest power is in your weakest place.

If you're willing to sit in that. That's beautiful. And self forgiveness, just forgiveness. General. It's like, that's one of the bags that you're carrying. And so it's like, can you. Healing is bringing dignity to a past version of yourself and saying, I did the best that I could. And then moving forward. And it all like, it all comes back. So it's like, really, are we back here to self love? But it's like, that's a good, that's a good starting ground. That's a good place to be. Then from there, moving forward. I love what you said about like, you're starting it. Just asking you, like, what if, what if, what if, what if? And when I talk about life, artistry and living braves being like one of my paths of life, artistry, there are many different paths. It always starts with plane. One, there's three planes. It's focus. And that's usually where transformation starts, is just what if? It's like you turn the disco ball and you see actually there's like infinite fractals of reality. And then comes the energetic and then comes the action material plane. But it's like it really does usually, you know, start there. And one thing that, that I'll bring forward, I want to hear more about your story, Glo is like when you were talking and just for everybody, like, about some things that are going on for you. A part of the book I speak about is called Part of the Game. And like you said, like, this is a game that we're playing and people don't realize, like, part of the game of being human is the stuff. Part of the game of being a leader is that people are gonna. And having a really strong message. People are gonna love you and people aren't gonna like it. That's all part of the game. But part of the game of being in a relationship long term and coming up against edges of each other's stuff, and it's hard. And that's, that's part of the game. Part of the game of having products and services and having some people, I don't know, maybe they even, they don't like you. Maybe they even charge back. Maybe they write lies about you on the Internet. That's part of the game. And that's what it's like, eliminated the charge on so many things. It's like what we think sometimes is a mistake, or we did this wrong, or this isn't supposed to be happening, or this negotiation went sideways. It's like once you're in the game long enough, you're like, oh, this is just kind of what happens. Like, of course I can mitigate this, right? But like, these are part of the Taxes that I pay. And I will happily pay the taxes, right, like, this is it. And I don't be so, like, I try to over compensate or control or fold back. I can be with this. That's. That's happening. So it's really cool. You know, that's something that I find so inspiring about you and all your businesses is you're constantly. You, like, can always make anything successful, and then you're constantly, like, going into a new industry and new market and new collab connections and, like, learning so much. So, so cool. I'll thank you. Like, can you share this more about where you're at with glossy? And even though we're calling it glocky.

That'S the big mystery. Everyone's like, how do you say this? I'm like, glossy, but, you know, well, glocky, whatever you're calling it, we' figure it out with Glo. And I. I love, you know, I. I think the journey of glossy because it's a physical product, you guys. I started in the fitness world, first of all. Then I had a big online fitness membership for years, and then I did digital products, I did books, I did women's events, and then we're doing entrepreneurial events and masterminds. So I've been in this game for, like, oh, gosh, 17 years now, and also did network marketing. So people are like, whoa, you did a lot. I'm like, that's 17 years of stuff. Like, you will blow your mind of what you can do in 17 years. So with that said, it's like every single thing that I just mentioned had a massive one through four of everything you're saying, Shosh, that I had to go through. And I think the reason why I've been able to be successful in most of those, there's been giant failures within there as well. And those were incredible learnings that helped me be successful in the next one. But the reason that I've been able to pivot in that way is because I know that at every new venture, you're starting from the beginning, and I'm not too ashamed. And I've never let ego be my biggest overhead. I've always gone right back to beginner mode and been like, grace, you're a beginner. You start over. Vulnerability has been my literal default of like, hey, I don't know what that means. Like, you can. You can imagine someone who did not graduate high school then going and trying to fundraise and learn the language of fundraising. They're trying to explain to you things. It'd be like trying to learn Greek except they're explaining it to you in Italian and you know neither language. And that is actually what it feels like. So when you enter into these new spaces, if you do not get vulnerable from the very get go of. I don't know what that word means. Could you explain? Could you actually dumb this down to someone, Treat me like I don't know anything because I kind of don't, you know? Oh, I'm not sure I'm understanding that. Could you re say it again? Like, this is how my first six months looked. And this was on calls where people, you feel like you're supposed to know everything and you just. You literally know nothing. And they kind of treat you like you do because maybe you've had success in one other thing. And if I walked into these spaces and. And Preet was pretending in any way, you cannot get to where you want to go. Like, you cannot get to where you want to go pretending to be somebody else. You can't get to where you want to go pretending to know what you don't know. Like, that is the fastest way to stay stuck. And so I would say that glossy is kind of like the epitome of all of the lessons that I've learned together and teaching me that even after 15 years, like Europe, I'm a beginner again. Like, such a beginner. I had to change the network of people that I was hanging out with. I completely change it. Meaning I still have those friends, of course. But where I'm spending most of my time is I have to be with people who know this industry and who can feed me words of life during this time. People who understand that even though some of these challenges that I'll explain to someone who's never been in it, like you said, they'll kind of match, like, oh, this is bad. When you go to people who have been through this before, they go, oh, what did you say? That's part of the game.

That's part of the game.

That's part of the game. And immediately, oh, okay, Exactly. And so instead of my comeback rate going into, like, instead of me going to shame, oh, I screwed up. Oh my God, what am I going to tell my investors? This is so bad. You feel like such a fool. Instead they go, yeah, that's part of the game. What are you going to do about it? Here's our next steps. Like, here's what you have to go do. Like, you only fail in this if you quit. Like, you only fail if you don't stay in the game and learn from your failures. And so this has been such like a collective moment for me of like all of the bravery and all of the grace lessons that I've learned moving so quickly. There's no time in this type of industry. There's like no time to feel bad, feel shame, to get stuck. It's literally reminds me I'm really into like big sports analogies right now because all NFL football players, all of those people, they have to have something called a short memory. You can't get stuck on the last play. It's like you could feel so bad, you could completely literally just lose what was handed to you at a game time score. You could absolutely have just completely fucked up that catch. The whole team is pissed, the whole audience is booing you and you literally have to go, doesn't matter next play. You cannot get stuck there. And so I think the bigger, like the risk and the challenge and you know, other people's exterior, money and everything that comes with holding that capacity has just taught me that you have to get even better and better with this. So what it's taught me is that the bigger the blessing, the sharper your toolkit has to be and the quicker you have to tap into them. So glossy is like the, it's, it's just like the whole collection of the learnings and I know there's only going to be more learnings for me as I move into different phases.

I love this. There's a, there's a chapter in a book that I call champion strategy. And it really is like in part of it, it's like why it's the end of the shame slaying part. It's like once you've nailed shame slang and now you can actually live bravely and start approaching. It's like to be a champion if you've got your eye on the gold, you got your eye on winning like the highest possible level. You cannot be in an internal war. You can't be asking, should I be playing? Am I good enough to be playing the game? Like you've got, you've got. You're literally like, you have to play the game. There's literally no time. Am I on the right path? Am I meant to be on stop. Like I literally, it's like you should be playing with so much like intensity. I don't mean burning yourself out, I mean like a good level of intensity. Like I am present. Like I am locked in. I am honoring the miracle of my life that you don't even have time to Ask those questions. You don't have time to be at war with yourself. And so I love this. Like, you know, there's a Michael Jordan go about. He's. He's missed more shots than, like, most people have ever taken. Like, he's, you know, but that's. You have to. You have to keep going. And that's part of the rock star as well. It's like, less thought, more action. It's like always a mantra of mine. Let's not more action. Let's thought more action. Like, yes, we use our mind. But then it starts to sabotage. Just go. Because in business and entrepreneurship, there is such a benefit of fast action. There's. It's like you can spend more time on something and get it from 80% to 98%, but the person who puts it out, 80%, it's like, by the time you did the 98%, they've put out 10 different iterations. So they're not looking at an 18% difference. They're literally in a whole different league because they got feedback, they got data, they've got embodied experience. And that is just so much more than just sitting there at the drawing board. So I love that Glossy is like just that. Just at a whole new level. And so I'm. Obviously, we'll talk about in the. In the intro, like, what. What Glossy is and how it came to be, but what's your vision for Glossy? And like, you could talk to us a little bit about, like, what it is, how it came to be and yeah, how you see this growing and what it could do for.

For what I, you know, a. A big. A big reason I feel really tied to your messaging. When I saw some. In the beginning, some things that you were chatting about is because Glossy is the embodiment of permission for women. I knew that the category that I was in of just not just. It's insanely amazing, but digital marketing, writing books. There. There was sort of. There can be a limit on some of the money you can earn. Not necessarily, but back I felt there was a limit. Now, obviously, Shosh, you're teaching a lot about no limits, and you are blowing the lid off of a lot of things. But a big conversation with a lot of my girlfriends was like, it's hard to keep seven figures and beyond. Like, I'm getting really burnt out now. This was. This was back before 2020. This was like 2018. And there wasn't. There weren't a ton of other ways figured out yet of how to really, really scale a digital company. Now. There's like, a lot of different things that are being.

Being learned.

But with that said, there felt like a cap on where we were at. It felt like a cap on your book deals. It felt like a kind of a cap on the earnings that you could do. And simultaneously, we were kind of freshly moved to LA within the first few years. And I was from the Midwest, and so the conversations were very. They were much smaller there in terms of what was possible for you. So when I moved to la, you know, the conversations got bigger, which was exciting. But in my female conversations, they were still having this, like, very much felt like a cap on our income earnings. And we very much were starting to feel that we knew money in the hands of women was really important. Not just a little money, but like a fuck ton of money. Like hundreds of millions, if not billions of dollars. And I was like, okay. And at the time, it was really only Sarah Blakely, who was like. And maybe Ali Webb was just kind of exiting some of her company at the time. And there wasn't a whole lot of people, which is so crazy to say. Just a little while ago. And so I. My husband was like. He came home from a few of these dinners with some guys that he went to dinner with who were like, guys who were ahead of him. And he was like, laurie, oh, my God. This dinner table, like, these conversations. They've sold their companies for hundreds of millions of dollars, and they're helping each other do these deals, and they're, like, doing, like, almost these masterminds, but in this different way with this large products companies. And I was like, so interesting. And he goes, do you want to come to one of these dinners with me?

And I was like, yes.

And so I went and I was vulnerable enough to ask questions and say, I don't know what that means. Can you explain that to me? Like, I piped up at a dinner where I felt like the dumbest person, and I was like, you guys, I was. I was like, women are not talking about this. Can you take a second and explain it to me? Because I'm getting, like, some major hits here. Like, I need to learn this. And so I had a couple of those dinners, and I was walking around my house one day, like, thinking about something that I wanted to create. I'm such a consumer. I love products. I just have always been that way. And I literally fell to my knees. This doesn't happen very often, but once in a while, my body gave out, like, in a good way. I fell to my knees, got full body chills and it was a message like, you have to be the permission, and the only way to do that is to do it. And so I was like, oh, fuck, I. I have to go do this scary thing. And so that, like, unlocked that I wanted to do a products company, and that went down the rabbit hole of figuring out what is that product, what is something that a problem that I really want to solve. What is something that could be a bit of a white space in the industry, but not so much so that I have to do, like, so much education. It just sent me down this rabbit hole. And so Glossy is a daily beauty supplement. It's skin and gut. And it's really true, like, truly beauty from the inside out. When I was in the fitness industry and I would do cover photo shoots, they would always write me an email before I'd go fly up there, like two weeks before, and they would say, make sure you're eating for your skin, because we don't want to have to airbrush too much. And so. And they would write what eating for your skin meant. They're like, you know, when. When women diet down or a lot of times, they don't take care of their skin. You need this nutrient, this, this, this in order for you to look good, for the makeup to go on, for your tan to look good. And I was like, of course it's. That's, like, impacted by your gut, your, like, everything you're eating. So I also wanted this in a very easy, deliverable package because guess what? You're busy. I'm busy. There's so much overwhelm out there. I just wanted something that I knew if you only did one thing for yourself a day and you did this, that you would feel good, you would feel accomplished in this. It would be this beautiful. I call them domino rituals. That if you do this one thing, it says to you, like, tips the domino for the day that says, I take care of myself because I did this thing and I deserve it. And so that says so much to yourself in your psyche, like, unconsciously, that I am a person who takes care of herself, shows up for herself, because I did this one ritual. And that one baby ritual tips the domino for the day of you doing other good things for yourself, which then adds up day after day, and in a year, you're like, wow, I'm a person who takes care of herself. And you've got beautiful results on your skin, on your body and your mind and all the things. So that is really like what. What Glossy is. And it's Permit. It is like permission to say if I can do it with no education and this background, that you can do it too. So I really love like slaying shame through the. The whole story for another time. That's really what it is for me.

It's permission, permission, like self love. Everything that we've talked about, like in this product, which for you, I know you shared with me, you. You're like, I was. If you were saying like this has been the through line is like health and fitness and wellness and to actually specifically do that for female entrepreneurs, for people who are sometimes, yeah, you're, you're putting your dreams first, but are you putting like your body first and creating that domino? And it makes such a difference. Like, oh my gosh. Having like you're mourning like that and you're like, okay, I just got all my nutrients, I got all my vitamins. It just feels. Shifts things. And so I'm so excited for more people to like access it and for it to keep growing because there's really nothing like it. And thank you for starting it. That's just such a beautiful story of when it comes to you. And I think just a little tap for anybody listening that that's, that's how it comes. You know, sometimes that's. You'll know, you feel it. Like, that's the calling and to just say yes and go on this journey. I'm. I'm so happy to be, you know, in this. I feel like you're really at an inflection point with, with Glossy right now and to like be getting really great partners on board. And so I'm excited to share with my community and see, you know, where it goes. So exciting.

I'm so excited. I'm. I'm really excited that we've gotten to have this conversation that you're excited about the product. I'm excited about your book. Just tell me three and four quick because we want to just leave them with a little. You know, they just got an appetizer today because this book is like a freaking buffet. It's going to like, I. My brain felt so excited and like stimulated and like, I literally cannot wait for this book, literally. Because if it's anything like the way that you're speaking, it's going to be like decadent through the whole thing. So tell me three and four and then we're going to talk about how to make sure that they get the book.

Yeah, absolutely. Well, the three limits. So really the book starts and the premise is that we're all life Artists, right. We are all co creating our reality and we talked about the three planes like our focus, our energy and our action. And so there are different art forms just like there's contemporary music and there's electronic music and so the form of life artistry I teach is the art of living brave. We have like four tools, main tools that coincide with the four limits. Because when you embrace the art of living brave the limit does not exist. We exit the one plus one equals two world into one plus one equals limit does not exist. And those are you. It's of the. The tool is a shame slayer circumstance and the tool is the chill rocket ship relationships and the tool is the Jedi and then rules and the tool is the rock star. So that kind of takes you through all of that with, with story and with. It's just, just it's. To me it's like this stuff matters to me so much. I've been going through like every line. Like I just spent the whole day on this chapter that I had already written and like it's, it's crazy. I did not know how much it would take because I'm a writer. I was a writer before I was a coach. And I just like to me it's like I want this book to be something that I go back to. Like listen, I study this stuff like I need to hear and I just know that like if I, if this were my last year on earth that I'd be like, I want this. Like this is what I need to be doing. Everything.

Yeah.

Stop. And this is it. So I'm so excited to get it out. Thanks.

Okay, where can we find it? Where can we get it? Because I'll put it in the show notes. So what should we do right now?

So right now there's a, there's a link on my website so you can get it directly through us. The website? Well, just Shoshana raven.com but it's also on Amazon so the limit does not exist. Shoshana Raven. So you'll find it there. Amazing.

Well, I'm so incredibly excited and I'm grateful for you and we're going to pump this book out and.

Yes. And we're going to have an out. Forgot about this. We're going to have an event. I want to have you as a part of it.

It is going to be happening when.

We launch the book. So look out. That'll be like a big free event and we'll do like a VIP for all the pre sale buyers and stuff. So I can't wait to get you on board for that.

I'm so excited. And thanks for doing this work and being brave so we can, you know, have a piece of that in our life. That's going to help propel us into everything that we are meant for, too. So I'm so grateful for you. And I will put everything in the show notes below. You guys go check it out. You can go grab the book. You can go follow her from there. And until next time, earn your happy. Bye, everyone.