Our 3 Part Formula to Create Space for Big Ideas & Bigger Moves

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This is the secret to everything I have ever done. I can trace it back to Sitting for long periods of time with people is endless. The ideas that you get from people who are doing business every day. But this is the difference of working on the business instead of in the business. This isn't about people telling you what to do. This is literally about throwing all the ideas in the hat and then deciding to see what is a fit for your business. And we're back with another episode of he said, she said.

And we are literally back. So this is kind of cool. We aligned our trips really well. I and my brother, I should say my brother and I, if I spoke proper English. We took my mom on a five day road trip, which is a tradition that we do. Except the tradition changed this year. And I'll explain that in a minute. Laurie, you just got back from an awesome mastermind and it's something you do twice a year with the same group. You want to describe kind of what the group is.

So this was something that Lindsay Zastro and I actually sat around one day and said, you know what we really want women who are like even ahead of us, who inspire us, who we just like want to be around and in these rooms with this level of energy that we know they have. And we put together a list of names that were like in a dream scenario. Who do we think that we could get together to do this? And Lindsay and I wrote down these names and you know, asked these people one by one if they'd be willing to do it. And I remember we got our first yes. And that was it. We're like, okay, we can do this and we can do it together. And I think doing it together like that, you guys was super powerful. If you're thinking of doing this, maybe grab one friend that you can start with. Because honestly, it felt okay if we both got rejected. Like, it just felt like, okay, that's fine, we're doing this anyway, so if you don't want to be a part of it, fine. So what we did is we put together this group and said, you know, let's meet once a year. That's what it was to start. And it wasn't even let's meet once a year. We actually did it in the beginning with let's just try this first meetup so that nobody felt held to this. We said, let's meet for a weekend. Let's allow everyone to have a hot seat, which is when they get a dedicated hour to say something that they need, what they're working on, what they need help with, and get everybody's input from the group to do that. And so it just turned into now we're doing twice a year. And it's myself, Lindsay Zastrow, it is jen Gottlieb, it's Dr. Gabrielle Lyon, it's Jasmine Starr, it's Jimmy Krin Lima, Amy Porterfield. And it is like the most incredible group of women. It's kind of mind blowing that this little idea that we're like, okay, let's play stupid idea time. Do we. We actually think we could do this? Is this possible? Are they going to even say yes? Came to be. And now I think this is like our fifth one that we've done.

Yeah. We're going to talk about some of the really cool breakthroughs that you guys. You're going in your third year of doing this, right? So it's a really cool example of, like, what happens when you get together. What kind of miracles can you create? So that was your trip? My trip is a variation of what has always been a tradition. So the past several years, you know, Laurie and I had a lake house that was 2,000ft down the shore from mom's lake house in Wisconsin. And so every summer since dad died, we would go to the lake house for about three months in summer so we could primarily so we could be close to Mom. And she wasn't alone all summer. But going to the lake house, of course, is really fun. But it got to be too much. It was too much. Going back and forth is too much. Picking up our lives for three months, it seems really romantic on paper, but in execution, it's just a lot of work. Especially when you add in like boats and, you know, water toys and fun and maintenance and everything else. So we decided this. Here, we're like, you know what, let's just sell the lake house. Because mom wanted to sell her lake house. You know, she's a 76 year old widow and wanted to move to Scottsdale full time and she didn't want to go back and forth anymore. And so when she brought it up, I know she thought that we were going to be like, sad and we were like, relieved, like, oh my God, no, we were only going there for you. Like you weren't alone. So the whole point is, I used to drive mom every single spring back to Wisconsin because she would spend the winters in Scottsdale when she was going back and forth. And we would make a little road trip out of it, kind of a cool vacation, so that we could make some memories. Because I knew that one day those memories would be absolutely priceless. And sure enough, every time we take that road trip, we would have such valuable conversations that just wouldn't come up without that type of intention, without that type of space, or going out to dinner each night, you know, stop in a hotel, go out to dinner. We'd have such incredible conversations. And I'd learned so much about my family and my background. And she'd help me with work or something that I was going through. And I didn't want that tradition to end. And of course Nick would, my brother would drive her out to Arizona every single fall and he didn't want that tradition to end. And so the variation of tradition after we sold all the lake houses was, we gotta keep this thing going. How about we do it together? So Nick and I loaded up the sprinter van, Lori and I have one of these all like tall, pimped out sprinter van things. We loaded up the sprinter band and took mom on a five day vacation all the way up the California coast and back. And it was everything I hoped it would be and then some. And what came out of it was such valuable conversations. Like I said, that won't happen otherwise. Where we're like, I had no idea about X, Y and Z, about our family, or about our past, or I didn't know you felt this way when this thing happened. Or I didn't know that we were building this story this whole time thinking you wanted X when you really wanted, you know, Z. And you can't replace what happens when you create a container. So in our case, that's the road trip. In Lori's case, that's getting together twice a year with these girls. So first you need the container, then you need the intention behind it. We would ask very intentional questions instead of just letting conversation happen. Of course, there's plenty of letting conversation happen because you always have to leave room for the miracles. But we would ask very intentional questions such as, mom, what is something that you think you know about us that might not be accurate at All. Or we'd say, mom, what do you think is something we think about you that may not be accurate at all? Or we. Gosh, that's awesome, right? And it would spur such great conversations that would turn into stories. So, Lori, I want to ask you, what is something powerful that happened when you were on your trip with these women because you had the container and you had the intention of the exercises or the questions?

Okay. I'm so glad you asked it in that way because I was just going to say there's no way to get into these groups without making sure that you are prepared with an intention and with questions that you guys know you're going to ask each other. Or like I said, facilitate something where everybody gets that specific time to talk about a need, a desire, something that's up, something that they need to. That they really want to let go of. So I think having intentions for the group is really important. And I will say, when we first started, it was very, very business intended. Like, we would get there and it's like we're going to work on, you know, what's not working in our business, what is working. These are all the things we're going to be sharing. And you start to learn that as you meet more. It's very hard to talk about what's not working in the business when you can't also really talk about what's not working in life. Like what's blocking you, what's something that you. Continues to drain your energy, that you feel like if you were clear of this, you would maybe be able to get all of those creative ideas that you need in your business or you're really struggling in something, whatever that. Whatever that is. So I think that, you know, in this particular group, especially this last round, I did go in with the intention of some very specific things because I. I feel pretty darn good in my life right now, which is so exciting to say. We have, you know, all sorts of seasons, and if you guys have been listening to the seasons of this podcast, you know that I've had some rough seasons for the few years. But with that said, I'm in a really good season. So I do feel like I can specifically focus on Glossy right now. And so my intention for this was to not only be there just to help other people and listen, but to come up with a new skew for my company and to just like, be really listening for anything that I can do to make my company win. And so with that intention, I find it so funny that of course it didn't come until like the very final hour. I'm not even kidding you. It was like we were gonna get on road in only a couple hours. I ended up skipping my workout that morning and just sitting and having coffee with the ladies and sharing some things with them about what I thought about some. Some different things that are coming. And I almost didn't share this thing that I'm like, this absolutely needs to be it. Because I got some advice from some different people on my team or and also in life who are like, eh, I don't know if that's gonna work. I'm not really sure. And I'm so glad that I threw out this wild idea because they were like, that is absolutely it. Like, are you kidding me? Like, of course I can have these insanely amazing women weigh in on my business. I'm gonna listen and I'm gonna take their advice. Like, if someone's exited for a billion dollars, I think I'm gonna be listening to that person. If there is one of the top doctors in the world right now, I think I'm gonna listen. So I will say, I'm so grateful to my past self who was scared shitless to ask these women to get together because it's like my. My future self knew that I would need this kind of support. And you guys, I know some of you are listening. You're like, that must be nice for her to be able to do that. Yes, it is. I built, you know, I built my network and I. I definitely spent time building myself, my network, going into masterminds, giving back, adding so much value. So that when we asked, a lot of people did say yes. But when I first started this, I had a completely different group as well. And that served me for so long. It was one of the most powerful things that I did. The women that I was in that group with were really kind of at my exact level and maybe ahead of me in certain areas, but I think I was also ahead of them in certain areas. So I highly recommend starting this now. And I promise you, you're going to be able to advance, you're going to be able to excel later on, but just start something that you need. So it could be, you know, once a year, like we started with, with no expectations, everybody goes in that if this isn't, you know, something that you want to continue, we don't have to. But there is something like chr about the time spent. I don't even recommend doing this for one day. I mean, I do. I think that's great. If you can only do one day, but there is something about two to three days. Like I said, it's like you, you really have to drop in with people because the first day is almost like getting the cobwebs off of not seeing each other. Because if you're anything like us like that social, you know, comfort takes a little while and you're not going to get to the really good stuff, the big breakthroughs until day two and day three. And maybe sometimes it'll be on meetup two or meet up three of those two or three day meetups. But you have to drop in and create intentional times where you're there for long periods of time, where you're. You guys start to get all comfortable with each other and you go in with intention and you share those intentions, you're gonna change your life. This is the secret to everything I have ever done. I can trace it back to sitting for long periods of time with people.

Yeah, I mean, there's actually a third component or ingredient, if you will. I mentioned the first two. The first one was the right container. That means the right size container and the right setting. And the container really has to be able to hold what it is you want to get out of the sink. So in my case, the container was the five day road trip and it was the right setting, you know, maybe cocktails at dinner, or maybe it was, you know, the many hours on the road with the intentional questions. So the first ingredient in both these cases is the right type of container. The second ingredient is the right type of conversation. Starters, intentions and questions. I'm sure that if you just left time for the miracles, some of them would happen, but not nearly as many without accelerating it by having the right intentions and the right questions prepared. But then the third ingredient, as you were talking that I realized was having the right people at the table. You know, in my case, call it a family mastermind. This road trip, mom and I alone have good conversations. Nick and mom alone have good conversations. The three of us together had brand new conversations. Right. Because the third person was there to add insight or say, wait, this is how I remember it. Or wait, you guys don't even know X, Y and Z happened. And so in our family mastermind, if you will, having the right people at the table, all three of us, was what made it so special. In your case, having the right women at the table is what made it so special. You're each experts in different areas and you each have different. I'm going to say what you said like you're ahead in certain parts of life or business than the other person, and that person's ahead in certain parts of life or business than you are and having that right mix of individuals. And I think the important point is you can go out and build this if you know the people. You can go out and build this if you have access to the right people, or you can speed it the heck up by going and joining these containers already already built. And that's why we do our VIP Weekend Mastermind so that you've got two days plus the big dinner route and all that stuff in our home with the right people sitting at the table and Lori and I leading it with the right questions and intentions. I mean, this is what we do better than anybody else on the planet now at this point because we do it for ourselves so much. And when we did the first VIP Mastermind weekend at our house a few months ago, they freaked out because it's not an accident. It is a formula. Right container, right intentions and questions, right facilitation, and the right people that are gathered. And when I say they freaked out, I mean at the end they're like, can we do this again? And that's why we're doing another one. Half of them renewed. And it was them asking if they could do it again. So we picked a date and said, okay, well, we'll do it. And so now we're doing one in October.

I'm so excited about these. It was one of the most fun weekends that I feel I get to do in my career. Although at this point, Chris, you and I just love putting masterminds on.

Yep.

It is our secret sauce. Because like you said, this is what we do for ourselves over and over and over again. And it's no secret why they work. You are in inviting other business people into the equation of your business. They're going to see blind spots that you do not see in your business. They're going to tell you things that they see in you that you don't see, like superpowers, where you should be leaning in where your skill set should be at, who you should hire. What are you missing? Why don't you have this in your business? Why don't you have an opt in? Why don't, why aren't you collecting or why aren't you growing your email list in this way? Why aren't you showing up this way more on social? How can you show up more this way on social? Who do you need to help you build that? Like is endless. The ideas that you get from people who are doing business every day. But this is the difference of working on the business instead of in the business. You can't see from inside the bottle, you can't see the label. So you need to step out. People need to give you all of those ideas and see what hits and what lands. This isn't about people telling you what to do. This is literally about throwing all the ideas in the hat in the middle of the table. And we don't literally do that, but.

We could, we could.

And then deciding to see what is a fit for your business. And really, you know, I think some of the fun conversations that were at the last one that were pretty mind blowing for people is they shared their pricing and everyone was like, what? Like, I would have thought you were priced at this. Why are you priced so low? This is insane.

Let's start doing business together.

Some of them started doing business together. Some of them have already filled their next round with the higher price. Like, like, it's pretty crazy what happens. It's borrowing belief from other people. And you're not just like borrowing fake belief. It's like, oh no, this is what I'm charging. So you could be charging this to like, what makes you know, you any different from me? So I think it's being able to see what others are doing in their business. It just gives you this confidence that you didn't have before.

Yeah. On the pricing and product thing, here's what happens.

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In an echo chamber unless we like radically change who we're listening to. So that's like picking yourself up outside of your group of peers and friends and family and throwing yourself into a new one that you've never been a part of before. And if you don't do that, when I say you live inside of an echo chamber, I mean your peers are about the same place as you are, so they're going to condone your current pricing or your friends are going to Say, oh, these products are really good. Of course somebody would want the X, Y and Z type of product. When really, if you got into a different group, the different group would say, oh, that is completely outdated. Here's what the new trend is. Here's what people. Here's how people are packaging that. Here's what people want. Or why are you selling all these things when you could just put all this together into one and sell this thing? And those become the radical new ideas. Because you take yourself outside of your echo chamber and put yourself into a brand new set of eyes and ideas.

Yeah. For example, I'm going way back to when I owned a gym and when my, you know, current starting prices for my training were like 59 a session. And when I asked, you know, my current clients how they felt about that, they're like, it's, you know, it's great, but it's a little high. And I'm like, oh, well, then I really can't charge more. Like, how am I ever gonna afford, you know, like, my own space? And I remember talking to you about it, Chris. And I don't know, I can't remember if we talked to a few other people, but it was like this realization that these other trainers were charging, like 1 29, 59, 200, which felt insane at the time. And I remember thinking, well, I can't charge that because my current customers are like, hell, no. Like, I. You're gonna. I'm gonna lose my current customers. And it was the realization of. That's the whole point. I'm not saying like, oh, get out of here, people. I wasn't trying to force them away, but I am saying the only way for me to be able to charge more is to get a completely different customer. And so, you know, when I started asking other people who had more money, a client, like a clientele that I wanted, the ones who, you know, showed up for every training session who really took it seriously, and this was the people who were spending more. Because when you spend more, you do take it more seriously. And so it was this, like, moment of realizing I had to get out of the circle I was in to understand, like, no, these other people are charging more and they are getting a completely different type of clientele. The type that I wanted at that.

Time, your echo chamber was two things. Your current clients saying, well, this is what I'm comfortable paying. Oh, God.

And then.

And then, hold on, your ears. Oh, your peers, your. The other trainers you knew were pretty new trainers. So they were saying, oh, my gosh. Lori, you're already doing so well. Well, listen, everybody meant well with their advice, but that was the wrong echo chamber, giving you recycling current information instead of the information of what could be. And that's why you have to pull yourself outside of your echo chamber and throw yourself into one of these events, whether you curate it yourself like we started out by talking about, or whether you just go join the one that's curated for you. What we haven't even mentioned. There's two components, too. It's the new ideas from the new echo chamber. Oh, yeah. But once you have those ideas, you need exposure. And that's why, with the VIP Weekend Mastermind, we sit down in our home podcast studio with you, and we film both audio and video, a segment on our shows about you and your background and your business and your strengths so that tens and tens and tens and tens and tens and tens of thousands of people per episode can learn about you and hear about you that will never hear about you, probably otherwise, at least not that quickly. And that's one of the things that we do at the VIP Weekend Mastermind. It's not just masterminding. It's getting interviewed by Lori and I and being dropped on both shows at the same time in these really cool shared episodes so that people can learn about you and what you're doing. And when you have that one, two punch, the new ideas, the new approach, and now the new exposure. That's why everybody pops off and says, oh, my God, it's the best thing I've ever done.

Yeah. And if you're. If you're like, oh, my gosh, that sounds, you know, like a big, audacious, scary thing, but also excites you. You know, you have time to prep for it. You send us questions, we make sure you're in your zone of genius. It's definitely something that you feel very prepped for. And I will say everyone who sat down was like, oh, my God, I'm so nervous. And then they knocked it out of the park, because Chris and I know how to be able to make you comfortable and make you feel like you are in a powerful place when you are on that podcast. And the other thing is that's so cool, is that podcast episode gets shared out to each of our lists, so you also get to go to our email list, which is exciting. And, you know, when we were talking about the VIP weekend, at the end of the weekend, we were chatting with everyone, and we had asked, you know what. What kind of pushed you over the edge to. To come to the weekend. And majority of them said the podcast because they're like, you know, we realize the value of the podcast alone is.

What you want other big shows.

Yes. And so it's. It's about using that 15 minutes of fame and making that on your one sheet, which is something that you create that you go and you pitch, pitch other podcasts with or you pitch people to speak on their stages because they get to see a video of you in our podcast studio doing amazing. And that is like a calling card. That is like your. Your way of getting more exposure, saying, okay, you know, I can now pitch these maybe a little bit bigger shows than you would normally pitch because now you have this beautiful street cred podcast footage and you have street cred of being on a top 25 entrepreneurial podcast. So you have to realize that we have to use these moments in time. You have to prep for them. You want to show up, you know the way that you want to show up. And we promise you, it's going to be amazing and you're going to have this incredible footage that you can add to your media kit and that you can use.

Yeah. So listen, if you guys want to come, it's already half sold out. It's in mid October. All the details are at chrisharder Me Weekend. And when you go to that site, you got two choices. Grab a seat right away or send us a dm. If you have any questions, we're happy to answer them. But seriously, go to chrisharder Me. That's me. Chrisharder Me Weekend again. Chrisharder Me Weekend. All the details are there, the dates are there. It's only 10 businesses in our home. Hey, you know what my favorite part at the end was? When everyone broke out into a photo shoot on lunch. Lunch breaks. And at the end, because they're like, oh, my God, like ocean views and this home and everything. And they broke out into their own photo shoots. I think we might have to add a photographer. That'd be a cool idea. That would be fun and get some good pictures for somebody. Anyhow. All right, go to ChrisHarter me forward slash weekend, and we will see you in mid October.

We're so grateful for you guys. I hope we get to hang out until next time.

Adios. It.