She Reinvented Her Body, Career & Life After 50 (Here’s What Changed)

I've done all of this scared shizless. I just started doing it. I started— I was like, I'm gonna create my first programs, I'm gonna launch them. It happened really quickly with social media. Everything started taking off literally, I mean, kind of overnight in my 50s. In your 50s.

This is why I'm obsessed with this, is some people are like, what do I do? It's the second half, Mom. I'm like, you could legitimately be just starting. Alicia, welcome to the podcast.

Thank you so much. I'm so excited to be here.

I'm so excited you're here in the flesh. To anybody who's not watching this on YouTube, you guys, she has come in person to my home studio, which is so fun because we also are sitting here with 2 big sheepadoodles.

Mm-hmm. They're keeping us company.

Yeah.

They're cute.

They barked at you when you first got here.

Mm-hmm. Just showing my— they're showing their love for me.

I love it.

I just want to give me a nice warm welcome.

And I love this because you built this into your travel. I'm actually telling people right now, like when they go travel somewhere, see what podcasts are in the area, like make it a trip, you know what I mean?

Make it a thing.

Because these in-person clips, you get so much more out of podcasting when you're in person. And then also the fact that I actually get to like sit, meet you, feel your energy, talk to you, which is amazing, by the way. You guys, I know you'll feel it on this podcast, but Same. So welcoming, so nurturing, so open, so just awesome.

So thank you for coming in person. I'm so excited. It truly is different when you can do something like this in person as opposed to on a Zoom call.

Yeah, it's totally different.

There's a total difference. So I jumped at the opportunity.

I love it. You look amazing today too.

Thank you.

You look amazing every day.

I clean up.

You clean up real nice.

Every once in a while.

Okay.

I'm so excited to dive into your story because I was just telling you we have such I feel like whenever I meet another fitness person, I could talk to you for days because there's so much that goes into a fitness journey, especially when you are as— when you've gotten to a place as serious as you are and when it also becomes a career and you start helping so many other people.

Mm-hmm.

You just get to see the gamut in how much of our identities, backstories, trauma, Joy, pain, happiness is all associated to food, bodies, environment, the people that we're with. I mean, it goes so deep.

Yep.

That this topic could— I mean, we were going to go there.

So, and I think that's something people don't realize how deep it goes. You know how deep it—

yeah, how deep it goes. And I didn't, I didn't understand it until I realized, even as, even as a teenager, I started to get this is that If I want to change my body, my mood, and the person I am, which I didn't know that could technically all be done at that age.

Mm-hmm.

But in the beginning it was, I just wanna change my body because I was an overweight kid. My family was very overweight.

Mm-hmm.

And what ended up happening was the realization that my environment was keeping me in a certain position in my body, in my life, in my mood, in how I was feeling, and even the weight that I was holding because of our habits. And so while I was a teenager, I tried to, um, you know, change that. But you can only go so far until I was like, I'm going to have to leave when I'm 18. And so I would love to hear your story of kind of the beginning that you had to, you know, what were some of the beliefs and habits that you had to break, um, in order to be the person sitting here now?

Um, so you want to hear from the very beginning of everything?

I would like to hear from which point. Tell me one of the main stories. That you can look back on that was a catalyst for where you are now?

I'll give you some points, some like pivotal points.

Yes.

Because it's like I said earlier, it's really— it's always been part of my, like, what I do and how I live from a very early age. So my dad actually was into triathlons and Ironmans, and he was always very active. He brought me to my very first ever fun run. I think I was like 2nd or 3rd grade.

Oh my gosh.

And I know, and I remember feeling a little twinge of that runner's high afterwards. And I thought, even at that young age, I thought, this feels good. I like this. This feels good. And so it became a part of just my regular cadence of life. Like, I knew not just for the, you know, the outside. Obviously it makes you feel good on the outside, but it made me feel so good on the inside.

Yeah.

I felt like looking back on my life, it got me through so many times of my life, just even adolescence. Having kids when the kids were little, needing that little break, that little time for me to pour into me, to get movement in my body. So it was always something that was a priority throughout my life.

So you associated that that young?

Very young. I remember specifically very like thinking at a very young age, I need to do this for my mental health.

Like when you were stressed out, you'd be like, I need to go. You work this out of your body when you do that.

Yep.

That is such a gift.

Yeah, truly. Yeah, it really did click with me very young. Okay. And I could sense it even after having kids, that a little bit of that postpartum coming up. Yeah, I need to get out and sweat or I'm going to go insane.

Yeah.

So I was really into running. I ran 6 marathons. I did a half Ironman. So that was kind of my thing was running.

Hmm.

And probably in my 30s, I got a little bit acquainted with lifting weights. And but really kind of gravitated more towards like the boot camp classes and circuit training classes. I started doing CrossFit in my 40s.

Okay.

So I did that for about 8 years. But what another real pivotal moment of my life was in my mid-40s. And I think I do believe this was when I was starting to really come into perimenopause and I noticed my body was changing. And at that point I had had a real love-hate relationship with alcohol. It was never something that I felt like You know, I think a lot of women have a hard time explaining this because they think, do I have a problem? Do I not have a problem? Is there an issue? Like, I would look up and Google AA, you know, what's an alcoholic? Am I an alcoholic? And I really deducted that that's not what I was. I just didn't like my relationship with alcohol. Yeah, but it seemed to always kind of rear its ugly head, and I felt very misaligned because It was like I loved doing CrossFit and I loved being active and doing the fit things, but then I also loved my nightly wine and it just felt like I was constantly battling with myself about it. And then as I was coming into perimenopause, I really felt like my body can't do this anymore. My body can't handle this anymore.

And I was like, you knew it was just telling you.

Yeah. And it was just kind of on every level— spiritually, mentally, physically, emotionally. I felt like this was holding me back in so many ways. And so I decided to commit to 90 days. And that was October 1st, 2018, and I never looked back. I felt so freaking amazing. It was literally like feeling chains fall off. Felt so good. And I noticed how I felt better in the gym, just in my body in general, and my mind, like the mental clarity, the energy skyrocketed. So that was a pivotal point.

Mm-hmm.

But I did feel again, like that slightly morphed into a bit of a sugar addiction for me.

Okay. Because something like kind of came in and replaced it a little bit.

Exactly. Okay. It's like you kind of trade one for the other.

One vice for another.

Yeah, exactly. And so that was at that point that I was dropping my youngest daughter off in college and we had already dropped our oldest off. So 2 girls out of state college. I was 48 or sorry, 49, was going into my 50th year of life. And I just thought, I've been working out my entire life. Like I've been moving my entire life, doing some type of movement, working out, working my body. And I looked at myself and I thought, I don't really have anything to show for it. I just didn't feel like I looked the way I wanted to look. I didn't feel the way I wanted to feel about my body. And I do believe that women, especially in my age group, were brought— maybe, you know, all women can speak to this, but just fed this belief that as you get older, it just goes downhill.

Oh yeah.

You know, you can't do anything.

All of our birthday cards at 40 40 are like, you're over the hill.

So, and now I look at that and I think that you're literally babies at 40, just getting started.

Literally saying it is so true.

But I had had that narrative replaying in my head and I thought, I'm 49, I've worked out my entire life, I don't feel like I have anything to show for it. But I had seen other women online in my age group making that change to their physiques, and I thought, what are they doing? I'm going to do that. And my body responded so quickly when I stopped doing certain things and started doing certain things. It was like instantly. And that was when everything just really pivoted and changed for me in the way I felt. Um, and then this whole movement that started with my life and the whole business part, that's when I was like, I need to let every woman in my age group know that she can do this, that it's not too late. She can change her physique, that this is the time you can make it happen. And that's kind of when everything pivoted and changed. That was a long answer to— Really?

I've heard a lot longer. That was great.

Okay.

No, I love it. Okay. So you said that there were these things that you stopped and these things that you had started. And it sounds like you truly hold a belief that any— anyone can become fit. Over 50. I don't know how old you are.

How old are you? I'm 53.

Okay. Love.

Yeah.

Thank you for blazing trails and showing us what's possible. I'm 45, and all I'm doing is looking at women in their 50s right now, literally going, thank you for showing me this because I'm excited.

Yep.

You should be. So I'm very excited because whenever I meet a woman and I had a psychic tell me in my 50s, I'm going to pop off even more.

So here we go. Thank you so much. Oh, this is literally when everything catapulted and just took off for me.

I love hearing this.

Yeah.

I mean, we're just gonna— you guys put this on repeat.

Yeah.

This is what we need to hear. And I'm sitting across from you and I'm like drooling at you and your physique.

Oh, you're so sweet.

Your energy is incredible.

Thank you.

And I think that, you know, I have some friends who are in like their 50s and 60s and they're some of our best friends and they live in Italy now. And when I sit with them, I have this realization that Your energy is really what keeps you youthful your whole life. Because I look at them and I'm like, I see no age. I'm obsessed with these people. They're, they're incredible. They're attractive. They're awesome. Like, energy keeps you young your whole life.

And I think that's why I'm here in this space with you. I think that is a huge reason why I'm here, what I'm doing with my life. Everything that's happened up until now, it's been energy that I've honestly worked on and cultivated my entire life. And then it's just come— everything's come to fruition now.

Makes me so excited.

Yeah.

Okay, so things you stopped, things you started. Somebody listening is like, I, I don't know. I don't know if I could do that. Number one, let's talk about a couple of those things. And then I also want to talk about what, like, mentally changed for you— environment, friends. But let's start there. Some of the main things I know you had said that you quit drinking. Do you believe people really need to do that or not?

So I think it really— obviously it's up to each individual person and their journey, but for me, I knew that when that 90 days was up— I always say this, I say try it for 90 days. Try it on.

Yeah, I love that.

Don't say I'm doing this forever, I'm never gonna drink again, or whatever the vice is. Say I'm gonna remove this for 90 days and then I'll reevaluate. I feel like that's a good enough chunk of time to where it's a decent chunk of time, but it's not too long. Yeah, by the time you're done, you have Like your dopamine receptors have reset. You have a clear vision, whereas that might have been clouding your vision a little bit before. And now you have more clarity and can say, well, I could try to add this back in and see how that goes. If it doesn't go well, then I'll remove it because I know I can and I know I'm able to. I'm capable. So for me, I just decided I feel so freaking good. I feel better than I felt in my entire life. I have so much clarity. I have so much energy. Why would I want to do that again?

Yeah, like the payoff was far better than, than without it.

100%. And so I say, you know, some people still have a drink or two, you know, even after doing something like that a month. And if that works for you, that's great. That just wasn't for me. That wasn't what I wanted. And so it really comes down to your own personal decision. I mean, at the end of the day, alcohol is kind of a poison. But, but I think, I think also, you know, like my husband drinks. And it's fine. I don't mind. It's okay. I'm around friends that drink. I don't mind. It doesn't bother me at all. It's just the right decision for me.

Totally.

So I'm okay with it. I mean, obviously, I just, like I said, try it and see how you feel.

I love that. That's been a motto for my husband and I, like, is just try everything on for size. And especially with alcohol, 90 days is— I used to do fitness competitions, so I'd go like 3, 4 months at a time, all the time.

Exactly.

And it is a good amount of time to You know, kind of create new habits within there. Yep. And you start just leaning into different things. But I love that trying it on for 90 days.

I think with any vice, with anything. Yeah. Just to prove to yourself, I don't need this. I can actually go without this.

Yeah.

And that, that's what builds confidence, like proving to yourself that I don't need this. Okay. Yeah, I'm good. I'm fine.

Yeah.

Because we get in our heads thinking, oh, I can't live without this. I need this.

And then we go back to it.

Right, exactly. But You know, to me it was like I was holding on to something that I thought was good when there was something so much better.

Yeah.

Over here.

I feel like when we do the thing where we put things off limits or we're like, we're never doing that again, or I'm going to— now I have to go to the gym every single day and I'm never going to be the, you know, I'm never going to go back to this thing. I was such a— and I'm sure you see this with people. I'd love to hear your thoughts around things that keep people kind of stuck. For me, some of the things that kept me stuck in patterns for years was like such all or nothing. Like, it was like, if now I'm lifting, I'm— I can never go back to this thing. And now I'm lifting forever and it has to be this way. And if I miss certain days, then it would just feel like I ruined everything, right? So like, tell me some of the all or nothing habits that you see with people. Why do you think that keeps people stuck?

Yeah, so I think this is kind of— this is where there is nuance because And this might sound a little off, but I do believe when you're first really establishing healthy habits and establishing new habits for yourself, I kind of say you almost need to get a little obsessed at the beginning.

No, I agree.

You know, and then—

I could have never done it without it.

Right. And then after a while, that's when you get flexibility and the balance. But obsession and like just that locking in, really getting laser focused on what you're doing because there's always so much noise.

Right?

Whenever we're trying to do something new and figure something new out and learn something new, it's like block out the noise, focus on the thing, get obsessed with the thing. Once you've got it dialed in and you've nailed it, then that flexibility and balance comes in. Does that answer that? Kind of a little bit.

It's— I totally agree.

And then it's—

but then it's like, okay, because I've absolutely been like, okay, you have to be obsessed.

And you do.

You do.

Because I think what happens is that you have to Be like undistractable because it's very easy to get sucked back by, you know, friends or—

Old habits too.

Old habits for sure. And people around you even reinforcing those. But then there became a point in my fitness journey for sure where I just created this like cage of routine. And it was like I, I was having trouble even traveling because I was like, I can't. It's going to throw my routine off.

Yeah.

And I don't know if that's because it was a fear of me always being one bad month away from, like, spiraling and becoming the family that I grew up and seeing.

Yes.

I think there's a lot of— there was a lot of fear around that for so many years.

Yeah.

Now I'm in a place where I'm like, oh, you'll never go back there. But I do think that some of my habits of extreme obsession started to become like a cage.

Yeah.

So tell me about that.

I can see where that can happen. And I think that I mean, I would say that I do have a bit of a— I mean, I guess you could say addictive personality.

Yeah.

You know, like, obviously I had the wine habit.

Yeah.

And I traded it for a gym habit.

It's a better habit.

You know, it's a better habit, but it's like at the same time you need to know how to live your life. Yeah, too. And so it's really learning how to be self-reflective and being self-aware and understanding when it starts to affect the people around you and it's limiting you and what you're doing and becoming your entire life, like, You know, I can travel. I do go out to eat. I do enjoy my life. I do have that flexibility, and that's okay. But I I do think that you have to check yourself. You have to learn how to be self reflective and say, okay, what like like you know do a self audit of what's is this too much? Is this taking over? Is this too much? Do I need to I don't know reel this back in somehow? Does that make sense? Yeah.

What's been like the biggest challenge for you throughout creating this new life for yourself? What's been a belief that you've really had to work on that you kind of see show up in different ways over and over again?

I mean, I think probably self-doubt a little bit, or like a little bit of— I mean, as far as with this most recent chapter, You know, I was a portrait photographer for 13 years.

Yeah.

And so I was doing portrait photography. And then once this— once I started transforming myself, I said, okay, I'm going to go get my certification. So I went and did my own certifications. But it happened really quickly with social media. Everything started taking off literally. I mean, kind of overnight I had, I don't know, 4,000 followers in December of 2023.

Okay.

And then by March I was at like 300,000. I mean, it was, it was like, I was like, why are all these people following me? This is so— it happened very quickly. But I do believe that I was in this place, like God put me in this place for a specific reason and for a purpose. But it was me getting myself caught up to speed with how I'm, how I'm, how am I going to help all these people and figure out what I'm doing and what I'm offering and how I'm helping and getting that all into position and be confident with what I'm doing. So that's— it's happened so quickly that getting myself into the right place, in the right mental space to be like, okay, I got this, I can do this, I'm doing this. I've had a lot of people help me to put everything together, which has been amazing. But I think probably just being thrown into a completely— even though it's been a passion, a passion of mine my entire life, it hasn't been my job, it hasn't been my work. And so all of a sudden being thrown into that out of nothing from being a portrait photographer. That was a big shift. A lot to hold. Yeah.

A lot to hold.

Yeah.

I don't think people— I think, I think everybody is wishing for what just happened to you, but people don't realize what happens to your life and your capacity and everything that you now do. Just, you have to view it through multiple lenses.

Yes.

And there's so much self-preservation and protection and family protection, relationship protection like that has to happen.

Yep.

That people don't realize that you have to become a totally different person, like overnight, when that type of thing happens. That's why whenever people are like, no, I want to go viral, I'm like, there, just be careful because your life will absolutely change. And not be careful, I want anyone who wants that to have that, but I want you to be prepared for what comes with it.

And so you gotta have very thick skin.

Very thick skin, especially, you know, a lot of us are on Fitness journeys and weight loss journeys, and a lot of us get into fitness because we probably had a lot of self-doubt. We lacked confidence. There's something that we're trying to work through. And so, you know, for you, what got amplified when that happened? What did you notice that maybe there was something, I know that you said confidence, what did that all of a sudden show you that had to be worked on? Some of my favorite finds ever have come from tiny local shops I stumble into when we're traveling. Chris and I used to RV across country for a few years in a row, and I will tell you there's just a different feeling walking into a small business versus a big box store because everything on those shelves got picked by an actual person who loved it. And running my own product-based business, I know how much work goes into building that kind of trust through your inventory. And every item you stock is a decision about who you are and what you love.

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Well, I needed to double down on my confidence and also boundaries because I do think that I'm a very— I'm an empath and I love people and care for people and I trust people. And so I definitely saw myself trusting people and making friendships and And through online. And that kind of came— would come back to bite me. And so I just understood, like, I really realized I need to have boundaries for myself and not be as trusting of people, if that makes sense.

Because it's exciting at first. Yeah, it's a lot of things coming at you.

Yeah. So it was, it was like protecting my peace, protecting my space, protecting also my family and my husband too. For me, I mean, this was a lot for him. For all of a sudden everything to be on blast, you know, people making comments, trolls, things, different things that we were not used to. Yeah. So that was a huge adjustment. But definitely it's given me some serious thick skin. I still have a soft heart and a good heart. Yeah. But it's very selective with who I give that to.

Yeah.

And I, I believe it's given me even that much more confidence. I've 10x my confidence.

Tell me about that journey though, because I know even still for me, you know, I'll get comments and it's like I have to take a second, metabolize it.

Mm-hmm.

I think of the things I wanna say, let myself say 'em in my head, maybe say 'em out loud to Kaeli, to my husband.

Yes. You gotta flesh it out with the people that you trust, you know?

Then I kind of block, delete, do whatever. And yeah, it's very quick now. Like it's for the most part.

Oh yeah.

It's very quick. And then sometimes when I see different things, I'm like, oh, why is this one really? Bugging me. And then it's like, what do I need to look at? Or what do I need to think about? Or sometimes I'm like, no, you don't get to do this to me. You don't even get to have access. So block, delete, whatever. Block, delete, mute, all of the things. For you, how do you get through that, metabolize it? Because I'm sure you get— I'm sure you get a decent amount, especially because body stuff is so triggering for people.

Yeah.

So what would you say you do now to kind of work through that?

I have people that I am very close to that help me digest and work through all that. Okay. My husband is amazing. We've been married for 28 years and he's just has a very solid head on his shoulders. And he also can call me on my stuff, you know? And so I just trust what he has to say. I trust his judgment. And so I always filter stuff through him first and foremost because I just really— I trust his judgment on things. And then I have amazing people on my team, my coach, my, you know, people that will— they're my sounding board that I can work through that stuff with. Because it's— you can get in your own head when you try to work through those things by yourself. You're thinking, am I wrong? Did I do something bad? Did I— am I wrong on this? Did I say it? And then you need the people that you trust that have good heads on their shoulders that can help you filter through this stuff to make sure and, you know, digest all of this and break it all down. Okay. No, this is actually how it is and help you to see things more clearly because it can get— it can feel like, wait, what? Yeah, we need people.

I mean, you're not being our own, like, silo, you know? It's, it's so important to have those people to pull you out.

100%. Yeah. And I trust myself too at this point. You know, I trust my judgment, but I do think it's important to have those people.

Yeah.

In your life.

So you're telling me you're grateful for the challenges? That's what people really need to hear is I think as, I think as women, we're obviously usually— I'm not speaking for everyone, but more sensitive. And so as we get out in the world, as you get the success, as things start happening, it's, you know, you open up yourself to all of this criticism. And I do think that that stops women from being successful before they even start, is they're so afraid of what are they putting out there, the content, what are, you know, how are people perceiving them?

Mm-hmm.

Were you thinking of that while you were doing this, or you just— you kind of were doing videos? Tell me how that happened and why you think that happened. Why did you blow up overnight?

It's so crazy because I've been on social media forever. Yeah, I've been posting on Instagram forever, and for me it was fun. I enjoyed it. It's a great way to connect. It, it's a creative outlet. I love connecting with people. I started to share about my sobriety about a year in. I kind of waited for a minute before I started sharing about that, but I noticed how many women would send me messages and say, thank you so much for sharing. This helped me so much. And so I just thought, if I can help, like, even one person, just a few people, and that they feel seen and they feel not so alone, because I feel like so many women with that or any, any other kind of thing in their life that they hold guilt or shame around.

For sure.

Like, once you bring it out into the open, it loses its power and then you can start talking about it. And so I just thought, if I can share about this and make a woman feel empowered and feel okay and feel seen and like she can work through this too, then my job is done. done. And so I kind of always just shared from that space. And then when I really started to transform, I thought, this is freaking amazing. I'm going to share about this because I want women to be inspired that they can change, that they can do anything that they want with their lives. And I don't know what the heck it was like the law of what is it, latent potential. I don't know if you like Atomic Habits. James Clear talks about there's an ice cube and it doesn't melt until 32 degrees. And it's still heating up at 25 degrees. It's still heating up at 26, at 27. You don't see it melt though yet. You don't see it. You don't see any, any of the work progress happening with it melting until 32 degrees. But all of that work that was put in up until that 32 degrees was still there. So it's almost like I was doing all of this and then all of a sudden it just started taking off. So I don't know if maybe there weren't as many women in that, in my space, in this age group. Making content. And so it was, it was like, oh, somebody who's, you know, it's always the 20s and 30-year-olds that are putting out the fitness content. This is a woman who's 50, is putting out this content. This is insane. This is crazy. And so maybe that's why it took off so fast. And I think it was at that time it was like we were really starting to speak up about perimenopause and menopause and all of that was just kind of taking off. So it was like the perfect storm of everything coming together and it just And I think people saw that I am who I am. Yeah, I don't. And you meet me in person, I'm the same person in person that I am online. There's nothing different. I'll show up without my makeup on. I'll show up with just like me, who I am. And so I think people can sniff that out.

Yeah.

You know, people can, people can sense that. They can see if somebody's being not themselves. And so I don't think it's like a mixture of all of those things.

Yeah.

That just drew people to me. me maybe somehow.

I don't know.

I, I kept saying to my husband, I don't know why all these people are following me.

Yeah. I mean, I think a huge part of it too is like, I, I think it's being able to see someone, which I hate even saying your age because you're so young and you look amazing. Mm-hmm. But I think it's like giving hope at that level.

Mm-hmm.

That it's like, no, it's not just like, hey, we're doing okay. We're thr—

thriving. We are thriving.

Thriving.

I feel the best I've ever felt in my entire life.

And I feel that.

And you see that, like, my physique is the best it's been in my entire life.

And I think that that narrative is so different than anything we have ever seen or heard. And I still think it's new. Like, I know it's getting out there a lot. Yeah. But at the same time, it's nothing like, you know, what we're used to right now or being trained for. It's just like 20s and 30s and all the marketing and all the different things.

Mm-hmm.

But this is the— it's crazy to me because this is the age 40s and 50s and 60s, the women who are spending money. Like, why are we not— why are more women not going for it? And I think there's so much around, you know, we were raised in a generation of women who it was still like, it was a lot if you put yourself out there. You thought that you were like, you had an ego, or, you know, women should be humble, all of those things. What What did you grow up seeing your mom like? What was a belief that you just feel like you've busted through for a woman your age?

For sure, being concerned about what other people think or what other people say. I've definitely busted through that because I know who I am. I know what my identity is in. I know what I'm rooted in. And so I'm good.

But how did you do that?

Was it books?

Was it events? Like, what are some of those?

I mean, probably some books, but I feel like, I mean, I am a woman of faith.

Yeah.

And so I, I just like, I am so deeply rooted in who God says I am that that is like, that's the core. So it's, I feel so good with like, me and God are good. I'm so at peace with that. Obviously, like the books help, you know, the different, you know, mindset books that I've read. But it's like, that is the core of who I am. And so I'm so good with that. I don't, as long as me and God are good and our relationship is good, I know that I'll be corrected if I need to be corrected or called out on anything. Yeah, but it's, you know, I don't have to be worried about what people are saying or what I—

Has your faith always been that way or did things— what are some major catalysts that kind of strengthened that faith along the way?

So I actually came into faith at age 24.

Okay.

I met my husband and I think just life happening, life circumstances, totally things going through things, Really tough stuff in our marriage. Tough stuff with friendships. Losing my dad.

Yep.

He passed away, uh, in 2013 from cancer. Just going through life stuff that just brings you to your knees.

Yes.

Where you're to the end of yourself and you just feel like, I don't know how I can do this. And, you know, God's there. He's been there all the way to strengthen me and to, um, bring me through it. And so I just think That's, that's where your faith is tested. You know, it's not really faith unless it's tested. And so it's been tested. And I know that's where my strength is, you know? And so I didn't grow up with that faith. I didn't grow up with that, that core belief. So I, you know, I feel I wish my family, like, had that too, you know, to raise me with that. But it's okay. You know, it's okay. But I definitely think The older generation is, was very much wrapped up in what other people think and what other people say. And I, I think it's a generational thing.

Mm-hmm.

I don't know if you ex— have experienced that with—

Oh yeah. Yeah.

Like very much about putting on a certain image and putting out. I think it's, it's, it's a generational thing.

You know, even I, I, my husband struggled with perfectionism cuz I think it ran, it ran so deep in his family. Like what it definitely was in my family and for sure with my mother, um, just needing to look a certain way and, and definitely with my religion. I think in my husband's family, because of just kind of just the stature that they were raised in, it was a little more like upper middle class for where they were. I think there was a lot of just pressure around that and like the friend groups that they were in. So when I met my husband, that was like kind of new to me. He had this perfectionist thread through him that in our marriage kind of kept us— it was really interesting. It's, it's cool. completely gone now because we've worked so hard on it. But just seeing how that trickled down to him from, you know, his parents and kind of what he saw as well. So I do think it's just a generational men, women.

Yes.

It was kind of just what, what was expected and kind of keeping up with the Joneses and how were you out in public and how did people perceive you. And, you know, you keep everything swept under the rug in your family and everybody needs to think that everything is perfect. And I just just going to make you explode. And that's not, that's not useful at all. And it's not useful for, you know, your relationships, for your friendships, for your body. I actually think that's why we, in my personal opinion, I think it's why we see a lot of like, I just see like a lot of autoimmune with certain—

I totally agree.

Women and your body. Depression.

Keep check. Your body keeps score of what's going on.

Totally.

And not, it's not just, it's The emotional, it all is connected.

I was going to ask you, so that's my next question, like how much are you finding with people, like in your— I know you do like subscription-based model for fitness, right? Okay. How much in your business do you find you have to do mindset work, or is it mindset work?

So, so we— I, I currently offer 3 different things. So with my subscriptions, it's really just like my lifting programs. Um, I have my recipes in there. I have community in there. And then once you get into group coaching and then one-on-one coaching, we really go deep on mindset. And that's something that actually a lot of the ladies make comments about when they come in, and because they've done previous programs and they say, I've never done a program that goes so deep into mindset. And it's so important to get your mindset right because how many people start something and quit 2, 3, 4 weeks later because, oh, this just doesn't work, and oh, I can't do this? It's because your mindset was not right coming in. You got to get your mindset right. You got to understand how your mind works. Then you're going to understand why that's so important to have that part established before you even start working on your nutrition and on your movement routine, because you need to start believing and understanding how your mind works and how your mind is going to play tricks on you and how it's going to try to self-sabotage you and hold you back and keep you, you know, preserve you, keep you safe with your limiting beliefs. So you're gonna have to understand how you can break through all of that. So there's a lot of mindset work that we do in our coaching, which is super powerful. It's super exciting. The ladies just go, this is so amazing. Yeah.

Yeah. I, I owned a gym years ago, and I— when people would come in, we would first have to just be like, what do they even believe about what's possible? What, what is there? Like, I would kind of dig into like, what are the family beliefs? Like, what are the family habits? What does this all look like? What are some of the things that you just see on repeat? Like, especially, do you work mainly in that midlife with midlife women?

Yes.

What are some things that you see that you could just know sitting down with a group of 100 midlife women? What are the things that if they don't have what they want right now, why? What are they thinking?

Well, for sure thinking that they can't do this, that it's not possible for them. That they don't deserve it, that they might not be capable of doing it. I think that's probably the, like, the main.

Mm-hmm.

How many of them are you like, oh my gosh, they have to change their environment or who they're around?

Yes.

What does somebody do when they feel like they can't change their environment or who they're around?

Well, that's why I— we have communities. Yeah. You know, with our coaching, we have— it's Circle is the name of The platform that we use, but I always tell them you need to plug into this community. Like you need to this this might be the only time that you are connecting with other women that are doing what you want to do and want to accomplish. Plug in and connect with the women here because that is that is your accountability. That is your community, and because who knows what's going on at home, what they're what they're dealing with at home, and we talk about those things regularly on our calls and in. Circle. We chat about that regularly. Like, I'm having this issue. I have an event this weekend. I'm going to be with people. What do I say? We talk about, okay, this is how you can talk. This is how you can say. This is what this is what you can communicate to your family. But it's a huge struggle. Yeah, it's a huge struggle for a lot of women. But I say get plugged into our community. Like, really connect in here and reach out to the women that are going to be able to walk you through it and hold you accountable.

It's all this literal theory on life success. success is you have to, you know, when I, when I wanted to go be in fitness and fitness competitions and all the things, I got a coach and plugged into that community. When I wanted to write a book, I then changed that community once those habits were solid. And I did that part of my life and I was like, okay, now I'm plugging into the book community, authors, meeting with them, taking their programs, going to their events. Then when I wanted to do events, I went to the event community, went to events, made friends with people at events. I go and immerse myself in the lifestyle, the culture, and the people who already are doing it and people who only believe that's possible. And then all the other people who have the same desire as me. And you become your environment. Like, your environment is stronger than your willpower because you, by osmosis, will become your environment.

Right.

So how do you create that environment? And that is how. You have to. And online totally works because I've done it. I changed my own life with fitness online.

Yes.

But you can still have the husband you have, still have the kids that you have. But if you immerse yourself enough in an online community or a community, like, you do get— it's like, it is truly brainwashing yourself, kind of like what we said, just saying this is possible for me. And I'm borrowing the belief and the stories So I always would go do that.

I love that.

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Go find— yes, the people who are 53 who look insane. And that's the story that I'm going to use. You know, I'm not going to use the other stories.

100%.

It's like, oh, you have to change.

And I encourage the women too. I say, you have no idea if you really lock in with this and you really connect with this community and you really go all in with what you're doing, you are going to start to change because I don't want this just to be surface change for you. I want this to be from the inside out. I want you glowing from your innards to the outwards. Yeah. And so you have no idea the kind of impact that you might have on your family that maybe is questioning you right now. You know, maybe you're getting snickers or you're getting— people are snickering at you like, what is she doing? And why is she measuring her food? Or why is she working out so much? Or why? Then all of a sudden you start to change, you start to transform. They see you're changing and they say, oh, okay, What I want to do, what you're doing. And then all of a sudden it has a trickle effect.

Yeah.

And then your spouse, your partner, your kids, your community, your friends all of a sudden want in on what you're doing. So do not give up. Keep going because you have no idea what could come of all of this. You know, it could be amazing.

First they laugh, then they ask. Yep. I had the same thing happen to me.

You know what I mean?

It was— I remember one of the biggest challenges. I'm not sure if this was for you and your family, about holidays. Like, it was just like, this is how holidays are. You have just mass amounts of food. Everybody's eating, everybody's drinking. You get together, you stay at their house for a week, and you're just gonna eat till you pop. And obviously, in, in my life, my goal was to be on fitness magazine covers. So having those conversations around the holidays, and my shows were always like right after Thanksgiving, of course, you can imagine.

Yeah.

Shit that I had to endure at Thanksgiving with a show like a week later, which, who does that? It's like awful.

Yeah.

Um, and sitting at holidays and being like, this is my, this is my life dream, can you support it? And still they could not support it, which now we talk about it and now they can, but they're like, oh, sorry about that. Like, so sorry that we—

So how long did it take for them to—

Um, years, years and years of conversations. 'Cause for them that was, and I can't blame them, like, because they love through food. Like, that is how they were programmed is, you know, accept me, love me, I'm cooking for you. This is how I show love. And there's no, I don't know other ways of doing that. And if you reject this food, you're rejecting me. And you'll either get that or you don't get that at all. Like, if you're listening, you're either from a family—

Yes.

feels rejection through, like, not, you know, partaking in their, in their habits or whatever that looks like, because we haven't developed a different way of connecting.

Right.

And so to other people, it can often, when we're going for our goals, it can often just feel like rejection and disconnection. So when I was creating different goals, I remember we did a lot of self-development. And so thank God I had, you know, other people telling me different things to that we could do, but we were trying to create new ways and new traditions that we felt very connected. So I started doing like all of these, um, you know, at Christmas instead of just sitting and eating the whole time, we would play different games or we would get these ornaments and write like little sentiments on them and make like a 2-hour game out of it so that we were starting to bond over doing things.

Yes.

Like then we'd go on different hikes and we started to be more active. We started to bond over Like experiences over food.

Yes.

And so we started to have these conversations in our family about how do we create experiences at holidays over food, which was super helpful.

It's amazing.

Um, and that started to kind of change, change some narrative. And also like telling people— what really helped me is, is saying, you know, I feel like very unhappy and miserable because I'm not becoming the person that I want, or like, this is a huge dream of mine and I really need support around it. Like, maybe this is just a year, I don't know, maybe this is 2 years, but if I could get support around this— and here's what support would look like.

Yes.

So I started telling them it would look like always having 2 or 3 really healthy things there, whether I bring it or whether you want to try cooking it. And then it ended up changing so much that my mother-in-law actually started cooking all healthy, and we made a healthy cookbook together. Oh my gosh. And this was the person that kind of gave me the most shit. And it just like over the years transformed. So how about for you? What did you see in your family that's kind of like changed the most and become something that's like a really cool experience?

Well, I mean, they're all lifting weights now.

That's so cool.

Which is pretty awesome. Yeah. And I think, you know, for my girls, it's been a huge eye-opener. Like, they love lifting. They're also getting into a little bit of running now, so they're enjoying that. But just understanding, you know, like nutrition even better and food as fuel and how it's— so it's how you can't really build a physique and undereat, you know.

That's not—

yeah, no, that's— I think that's such a common misconception. But really understanding how important it is to fuel properly if you want to put on muscle and understanding about putting on muscle. And so that's been kind of exciting. And then watching my husband get back into the gym because he was, you know, when this all started for me, he was not in a great space. He's in real estate and it was a very stressful time in 2022. And, you know, I told him, this is what I'm doing. He said, okay. I said, you don't have to do this with me, but I'm just gonna do this. And he was drinking quite a bit more and he was on blood pressure medication. And, um, about a year and a half in, it kind of— stuff kind of clicked for him. And there's actually somebody from my gym that said something to him at an event that I was speaking at. It was like, why aren't you working out at the gym? And he— something clicked for him and he got back into the gym. And he— so he actually— he's always been pretty active too. So he was a D1 football player at Boise State. So he's been active, he's been fit in his life, but he was not in a good place, you know, when this all started for me. And, uh, he just went past— he surpassed his 1 rep max for his bench press. So he did 315 in college. He just did 320 this year. So he's been totally back in the gym lifting like 5, 6 days a week. We love to walk. We love to hike together. That's been kind of our empty nesting thing as our girls have gone is getting out and hiking. And so it's just that's been awesome for my family. That's been so good. We weren't as entrenched with the food situation as far as like extended family, but I definitely think like my lifestyle is something Different for most people as far as how I live and how I operate. But I like what you said just about how you communicated that to your family. And I, I talk to clients about this all the time, just being very communicative, like, this is what I'm going to do. I love you and I'm not expecting you to do the exact same thing. I'm just going to do this for me and my health because I want to feel my best. And so this is how you can help me and this is how you can support me. And I love that you said that. You know, and how can they refute when you say, I want to feel my best?

Yeah.

How can, how can anybody come against that? Like, I just want to feel good.

Yeah.

You know, it's not anything about them. You're making it about you.

Yeah.

But then they start to see that and they say, I want to feel good.

Like, wait, I want to feel good.

I want to feel good too.

Yeah. So this has turned into a really big business for you.

Yeah.

Were you expecting that at all?

I had no idea.

No idea. What did you think you were going to do in your life?

Well, I just I knew that when I started to transform, I knew for myself, like, this was the next chapter. I want to be done with photography. I wanted to help women somehow, which is when I said, you know, I'm going to get my certifications. I don't know what it's going to look like. I got like a website domain, themidlifemaven.com, and I didn't know what it was going to look like. But I was doing workouts in Playbook, which is the app. Okay. I was doing lifting programs in Playbook and I said, I don't see any other women in midlife. Doing this. Like, I don't see— I didn't see any at the time. I didn't see any midlife women as creators in this app. And I said, well, guess what? I'm gonna do it.

Yeah.

So I did. I was like, I don't know what the heck I'm doing. I'm gonna figure this out, and I'm gonna do all the research. And like, I'm gonna throw myself into this. I'm gonna figure it out. And so I just started doing it. I started— I was like, I'm gonna create my first programs. I'm gonna launch them. It was right Coinciding with the social media taking off, but then right when everything was it was like within like this whole storm of stuff was happening, and the CEO of Playbook reaches out to me. He he emails me. He's like, "Hey, I'd love to get on a call with you." I see that you know everything's really popping off for you, and I see you're actually already one of our creators. I really love to help support you. And so we got on a call, and he's literally like Playbook has changed my life.

Wow.

Changed my life. He's helped me create every single thing that I'm running right now. He helped me totally build up my app and all my subscriptions on my app. He helped me build my group coaching, and he's now helped me build my VIP one-to-one coaching. So I know I have a team of coaches that work under me, and we do, we do one-on-one. So we handhold the ladies and we take them through a program, and it's been amazing. Wow. And it's changed my entire life. And my entire family's life. But he's been, you know, he's he just said to me at that and we'll never forget that first phone call. He said, "I've been working with creators in the fitness space for years and years." He said, "There's something different about you. You have something different. I don't know. You just do. I know because I've worked with people forever, and I would love to help you grow your business as much as you want to grow it. You know, I'll you I'll let you lead, but I'll tell you what I can help you with." And he has been my connector that has put me in touch and connected. with everybody that's helped me along the way. And it's been insane.

Sometimes when you step in—

Amazing.

Yeah. It was really the thing that I want people to know is like, it was extremely brave of you to step in. Like, no matter what, for anybody who's gonna go create and put themselves out there, especially—

Yeah.

In fitness, people don't understand. Like, it's, it's not only like getting out there, it's getting out there and your body getting out there judged.

So personality and body, which is kind of Like, which is again why knowing who I am to my core is very so important, because I know who I am. But I've done all of this scared shizless. Like, I've done it just like, okay, we're doing this.

Yeah, let's, let's just go for it.

And I haven't had to know everything that I'm doing along the way. I'm just, I'm trusting because I trusted Jeff. Uh, he's, uh, CEO of Playbook, and he's just, he's like, we're gonna do this, we're gonna do this. And I'm like, I'm trusting you because Nothing. He's never led me the wrong direction. Everything he's done, he's totally led me in the right direction. Everything's been amazing. So I'm like, okay, I'm trusting you. Let's do this. Yeah, let's go, go, go, go, go. I'm on it. And it's just been a wild ride and it's been amazing.

Wow. I'm like so excited that that has happened for you in that way.

In my 50s.

This all started in your 50s. This is why I'm obsessed with this is some people are like, what do I do? It's the second half, Mom. I'm like, no, you're, you're, you could legit Legitimately be just starting, right?

And I look at my past and what I was doing before, and I've done other businesses besides photography, like we did Airbnb and all that. It's all that experience that I had with that has totally poured into what I'm doing now. All of it, you know? Yeah.

Even on—

even if that was on a small scale and on a small level, I was building the skills, I was building knowledge through those years to what I'm doing now. And, and to have Bravery to do what I'm doing now.

You know, nothing is never for naught. Like, nothing.

Exactly.

I'm just thinking of your faith journey too. Like all of the, you know, all of the pain that you went through to strengthen that connection to God. Like, you have to have that to be where you're at. You really do. Like, for sure, there's, there's no way I could even do what I do without being able to be like, okay, fully surrender. I, I'm— I loved what you said. I don't think I'd put it heard that way. Like you are at the end of you, like you are out of human power.

Yep.

Fully. Yep. So you have to rely on a strength that's outside of you.

God plus nothing equals everything. Mm. That's so, you know, I love that. It's, it's just like you come to the end of yourself with certain situations, but I think God allows that so that you can fully rely on him and say, okay, I'm trusting you. I know you got me. You know, whatever it may be, I'm going to trust you. And that, that, and that is like why I am who I am to my core and why I'm solid with who I am. You know? Yeah.

Thank you for that sound clip.

We're just going to click.

Yeah.

Loved it.

It was so beautiful.

Yeah.

Well, I'm so grateful for you coming on. I would love for you to share how people can work with you and find you.

So if you go to Alicia Erickson app, That's a website that you can go to that will give you all the info on the app, on coaching, and then Alicia E on Instagram, Alicia E on TikTok, and I think on YouTube as well.

We're gonna put that all in the show notes.

We're gonna make it so easy for you guys.

You can just scroll down. We're gonna show you all the stuff that she just said where they can find you.

So thank you so much for coming.

Thank you for having me.

This has been so fun. You're a delight.

Oh, thank you so much. And you guys, until next time, earn your happy. Bye everyone.