Simple Things That Changed Everything, Confidence Glow-Ups & What’s Still Hard for Us, Q&A with C...

Thank God I realized this, like, copy paste method of, oh, you're scared. Okay. Get in the room with people who have already done it and they're gonna make it possible for you. Even if you don't believe it right now. A single room can change that for people. Yeah, truly. And we're back with another episode of He Said, she Said.

And we're not just back. We are back back the day after. We just hosted 10amazing businesses, 11 people in our house for a two day mastermind. It was unreal. And I, like, I'm not just saying that. It was better than I expected.

Well, this is something that we love to do. And this year, as you guys have been listening to the podcast, have been hearing us say that everything we do needs to be fully aligned with what we want and our skill set. And we did that not because we wanted to be selfish, but because we know that when we are in our zones of genius, when we feel good, when we love what we're doing, it literally radiates out to everyone energetically. And I will tell you, nothing feels better than getting the compliment that someone says to us, which everyone said, like, I can tell you genuinely love this. And we're so grateful for the impact I had because I do believe that we are the best at events, some of the best at events, because we really, our lives have changed at events. And we are not only, you know, whenever we go, we're not only attendees, but we're also massive observers. So we learn what we love, we learn what moved the needle for us. We learn how important it is to acknowledge fears. But say, you know, I understand that you feel nervous and I understand that this feels like a risk, or I understand that you feel nervous to even come in this room and. And that's okay, but we're going to move anyway.

Yeah, I agree. I hope people receive this as humble, but I really think we are the absolute best at putting together event experiences that grow your life and your business. And I meet the best. And here's why. We're not skilled more than other people. We're not special more than other people. That's not what I mean when I say the best. I think we just enjoy it so much. And like you said, we dissect other experiences. That tells us, ooh, I would do this or I wouldn't do that. And we just know how to dial it in and we know how to make you leave not only a bigger, better, stronger person, but with real, tangible next actions. You know, I mean, it's not Just a consume, consume, consume, and all right, good luck. It's, like, strategic.

Well, another thing about that is, is we're feedback people. Like, do I love feedback? Not necessarily. Do I want it? Absolutely. Because I want to get better. So I think that through the years, we've always been really open to feedback and asking attendees. I love how bold you are with asking. Like, hey, would you ever get on the phone? Would you tell me what you thought of this? Would you tell me what you think of this? Where. Where were we missing something? Where did you not feel good? Where was a breakdown? And I've always admired that about you, is that you'll literally strategically go straight for somebody to. To ask them their feedback.

Well, it's because we care.

Yeah.

We literally care. How can we take it from great to greater? You know what I mean? And at the end, the best compliment was this. Everybody asked us. Not everyone. Half of them, oh, my God, can we come back? Can we do it again? Can we come back to your house? And they meant it. And when I say they meant it, we chose dates. Like, we're like, okay, I guess coming back. Yeah, they're coming back. More than half of them are coming back. So I guess we're doing a second one. So if you guys want to come to our house and mastermind for two days, and I mean really mastermind for two days and be on both of our podcasts, that was. That was maybe the most fun part. That was pretty cool.

Yeah. I think that was the part for them that was probably some of the most expansive. But not only that, the value in being able to obviously come on the podcast and we. We help prep you. We dial in, you know, you. You send in questions to us so that it's in your zone of genius, and we really get you in a place where you are at your best for those segment that you're on the podcast. And that is so incredibly valuable for them because so many of them want to be on podcasts, but they haven't necessarily been on a big show yet. They've been on other podcasts. But to get on a big show and lead with that and put that in their media kit at the top with the beautiful clip with the reels on their page. It's a lot of credibility for people. And we realized that early on in our careers is it was really important for us to be able to get around people who were doing big things.

Lifted us up.

Yes. Not only because it really lifts you up, but also to the outside world. It's like Whoa, wait, who are they? Who are they hanging around with? What podcast were they on? And those things can really skyrocket where you're at and where you're going if you use them correctly. You know, when I was in fitness and when I finally got a fitness magazine cover, there was a really clear difference between me who got a magazine cover, and another girl who got a magazine cover who did not understand how to use that quote, unquote, 15 minutes of fame. Because I, like, utilized that thing to death. I pimped that magazine cover out so hard, I used it in pitches when I was on stage. I left it up on screen the whole time that I was talking up there.

Used to get other opportunities.

I used it for other opportunities. I literally used that thing like crazy and made sure people knew I was on covers. And so many girls went on a cover, and people were like, the second the month was over, it's like, they never brought it out again. They never talked about it. They never pitched with it. They never had it on, you know, their social media pages. Like, I was recycling the crap out of that and bringing it up and talking about it over and over and over again. And so that's what you need to do with those moments that you get. Yeah.

It became your backstage pass. Hey, let me on stage. Hey, let me in this group. Hey. Right? And that's what happens when you get to be on something like Lori's Top 25 podcast.

You can't be shy about it. You can't be humble about it.

Yeah. So the masterminding the podcast, the one on one strategy session with me, all that stuff, best bargain on the entire planet, by the way. Ten businesses. That's what we cap it at. So it's really fun, intimate, sitting around our dining room table while they all stare at the ocean and learn, which is epic. If you guys want to come to the next one, it's September 26th and 27th. Like we said, they grabbed half the seats already, so better move quick. Go to chrisharder Me weekend, because it is our VIP weekend mastermind. Again, go to chrisharter Me. That's me. Chrisharter Me forward slash weekend, and grab on those last spots. Okay, babe, you and I woke up today and we served our asses off. We're like, oh, we're tired, but we also have to record a podcast episode. Yes. And I was like, I don't feel like going deep on something or teaching something.

Yeah, let's have some fun.

Yeah. I was like, oh, let's just ask each Other questions. But let's not tell each other what the questions are. So guys, I'm going to ask Lori questions. She asked me one. Vice versa. Vice versa. We don't know what's coming.

I don't even know. We kind of said is this business or personal? So I don't even know.

Some of it's a mix for me. We do not know what's coming. So in that context, who wants to be the first answerer?

I'll ask you first.

Okay, go for it.

Okay. So you take one on one clients all the time.

Yeah.

Sometimes you take really big businesses. Sometimes you take businesses bigger than yours.

Yep.

You do strategy sessions. You run a very large portion of these weekends. The masterminds that we do together. Do you ever still get nervous that you're not going to be able to solve their problems?

Good question. No, but let me explain why not from like an ego standpoint, I'm not nervous that I can't solve their problems because I don't think I can solve everyone's problems. But I think that I have the network to help solve whatever has them stuck. There's times like with my one on one clients. Yeah. Did I go pay other experts to come meet with us or to go into my client's business and like work with their whole team or to come meet with us in our half day meetings and spend the whole day like, hey, what's it going to cost you to come spend the whole day in this half day meeting and be there as we work through this tech thing or this AI thing or whatever it is. So it's not that I think I have the answers for everybody, but at this point I've got the network say has the answers for him and I'm willing to go get them even at my own.

I've seen you do that. Like, hey, we're going to solve this problem for them. So I'm bringing someone else in. That's really cool. Yeah, that is also like, that just makes you feel a million times better when you don't believe you have to solve everything. I've actually, like, I think that's where people get it wrong. If they're coaching is feeling like they're going to have to know everything and that's so much pressure. I don't know. Anyway, I saw that you did that recently and I was like, that is so genius. Because they're going to get, obviously they're going to get exactly what they need.

Yeah. I don't, I don't believe that I have all the answers. Nor that I have to. But I'm willing to go leverage all the hard work I put into creating this epic, you know, network. Yeah. When somebody says, chris, I trust you enough to solve my problems.

Yeah, it's part of it, too, because obviously you do it with anything like that in an interview process, so it just makes you feel better.

I will never take a business that I'm not excited to work with. I mean, that would be torture at this point. We don't have to do these things. So I couldn't imagine, at 47 years old, anything worse than sitting, spending time with someone, number one, who I don't like, or number two, who I can't help. Like, that would be a unnecessary jail sentence. No. You know what I mean?

Not being able to help them would be the worst feeling in the whole world.

Going home. No. Okay, I got one for you. I can tell you're excited. All right, I want to start with this one. How the hell did you end up here? And here's what I mean, look at your life. You weren't supposed to be here like this. You beat all odds, from the fitness titles to the 11 magazine covers to all the money to the ocean view to the people you know and call friends. Like, you weren't supposed to be here because you grew up in a tiny town in the middle of nowhere with parents that had extreme financial struggles and, you know, albeit great parents, but, you know, certainly didn't teach you a damn thing about finance and lots of anxiety. That's the one I really want to drive home. Like you were an anxiety machine. People really need to understand that you couldn't step foot on a stage to save your life without go to dinner.

Without drinking a bunch of beer beforehand.

Yeah.

So it was beer. I'm so sorry, everyone.

Yep. And so how the hell did you end up here? And I don't want some long, drawn out diatribe about this.

Okay.

No, no. Ready?

Make it easy.

No, no. Here's what I mean. What's the one single thing do you think that made the biggest difference that allowed you to become who you are right now?

Gosh. Forcing myself to get in rooms with people who are doing it.

Really?

Yeah.

Give me an example. When did it start?

Kathy Savage going to her fitness camp.

Shout out to Kathy.

Seeing. You know, I want. I wanted to be on stages. And I was like, well, I better go find the person who knows how to put people on stages. But it wasn't just. It wasn't just, oh, she was putting girls on stage. It's because it's finding someone who says they understand what you believe is a unique position even though it's not unique. Meaning, you know, I had watched her on mtv True Life and she took a girl who wasn't in fitness at all, who was super nervous and I watched her put her on stage, like go through everything and she just kept saying, like, anyone can do this. I can help anyone do this. So truly it was like I was able to just do what I wanted to do because she believed in me and she had the path. So definitely going to Isagenix events, that.

Thing, those really did help like form your ability to speak and stuff.

Oh my gosh. I went to a David Wood, Isagenix trainer.

Trainer, yeah.

And that was just one of the biggest breakthroughs I've ever had. That was a breakthrough for speaking. So first, first, honestly had to come to stage because I was so scared, Chris. Like I was able to put my body on stage, but like to ask me to speak and say a word on stage was still impossible. Even after winning fitness competitions, I still didn't have a voice. Like my voice shook. I couldn't say anything. I felt like I would cry whenever I would like start to think I could form any sort of thought at all. So it was definitely first, like that's how much anxiety I had you guys, like full on panic attack breakdowns. And so it was first getting a fitness coach and getting in the room with her and all of the other girls and having them breathe life into me and seeing all different types of people who were also so nervous then, you know, the next step for us was we got into network marketing and the trainings that they had there to really create leadership is what really helped me break through in a major way.

Taught you kind of business?

Yeah, taught me business and using my voice. And they're like, it's really tough to be a leader there without being able to like, you have to speak, you have to lead, you have to get in front of people and there's very little risk, right?

Like very little. It was all aside, no risk.

So, yeah, that really started the breakthrough and thank God I realized this like copy paste method of, oh, you're scared, okay, get in the room with people who have already done it and they're going to make it possible for you. Even if you don't believe it right now you're trying to figure out the how when you've never been in a room to see the how are they.

By copy paste, I mean you did it over and over and over. Then it was Louis's room, then it was, you know, I mean, the tiger ring is all these things you just kept putting yourself. All right, I'm going to go into the scary room, but I know I'm going to come up better. And now I'm going in this next scary room, but I'm going to come out better. So that's the one single thing that probably moved the needle the most for you. Yeah, it's. I mean, I really want people to understand you shouldn't be here. Not in the form that you are. Not in the form. Hell, your boyfriend that you thought you're gonna marry. A lot of your friends, all of them are not even alive right now. So when I say you shouldn't even be here, like they've overdosed. Yeah. You came from really crazy beginnings to have this extraordinary life you have right now.

Yeah. I'm so grateful. And I'm. You know, a single room can change that for people. Truly. And that's what it did for me. Like, shout out to Kathy, because that first room. And then Isagenix the second room. Like, shout out, because that is like, thank God. I don't know where I'd be. Truly.

Yeah. That's so cool. All right, my turn.

Okay, your turn. Okay. What is something you do that doesn't match what people think about you?

Okay, I gotta put some real thunders. What is something that I do that doesn't match the way people think about me? So they. They probably assume I'm one way.

If you're a certain way. Maybe you're. Maybe they think you're super put together. Maybe they think. I don't know. What. What do you think they think of you? And then what are you like, oh, if they really hung out with me, this is what they'd know.

I think people think I am a lot more politically correct. You know, don't swear very much. Really? Kind of not prim and proper, but like polite individual. Yeah. And really I'm just a 14 year old pervert with a terrible swear mouth. And both of us. Yes. And just love getting in trouble and can have a real temper. And when you say love to mix it up.

Clarify.

Like, I don't even know how to clarify. Getting in trouble. Just like, I don't try to come across.

I don't know what kind of trouble he's talking about because he doesn't get in trouble.

But I don't try and come across as like really PC or really polite or really whatever. And I'm Glad that if that's the case. But if you hang out with me enough, I'm just gonna make nothing but completely inappropriate jokes.

I think you're just funny and down to earth. I think that you are, like, you're a little more unfiltered, but I'm the.

One that wants to stay out all night. But you put me to bed like that kind of stuff.

I don't know. I don't know if he stays out all night once in a while. Once in a while you want to.

I mean, if left to my own device.

If left to your own devices.

Yeah. Yeah. So I think people think I've got it buttoned up and put together and. Yeah, no, I'm still a 14 year old.

Yeah. I mean, same. That's why we like each other. So.

All right, I got one for you. Hold on. What made you step into this sudden fashion and jewelry era? Like, if people have watched you over the last year and a half to two years, you have become fashion obsessed, clothing obsessed, jewelry obsessed, really putting a lot of time into style. And that wasn't you. You were really pretty much sweatshirts, T shirts, sports bras.

I always liked getting really ready for dinner. Yeah, Like, I've always loved that. It's not that I haven't loved it. I've always, like, admired all the women who've done it. I just kind of told myself I couldn't do it or didn't know how to do it. It felt really overwhelming to me. And honestly, when you're really getting business off the ground, it felt really hard and exhausting. And so I've always wanted to do it, but I just felt like I maybe for a little while didn't have the bandwidth to do it. And it was.

Can I ask you right there, did you suddenly get the bandwidth or did you decide to have the bandwidth?

I decided to have the bandwidth.

Yeah. I think that's a lesson for everybody.

Yeah, I decided to have the bandwidth. Cause I didn't get the bandwidth at all. I'm. I. I got busier, to be honest, for a little while in life there. But the payoff, the payoff in my mind was gonna be a lot bigger because a couple things were happening. Like I was leveling myself up in. I wanted to level myself up in life. I wanted to level up my circle of friends, meaning I knew that the women who were having the conversations that I wanted, they'd already gone through kind of like this glow up, meaning when they started to really uplevel, they're like, I Wanna up level how I appear as well. I wanna up level because it changes how you feel in a room. It just does. And if you are admiring someone because that's how you want to look, then take the time to learn how to look that way if you know it's going to make you feel a certain way. And so I wanted to level up for those reasons of like, you know, the women that I want to be around, they take this time to care about their appearance or just how they're walking in the room. It's not just a how you look, but like, what did you put on and how are you holding yourself in that room as well. So it was an entire thing for me.

Has there been a benefit in changing this?

It was the third big reason that I wanted to was to attract a more up leveled audience and crowd because we were doing well. I knew that I was going to be joining you in the Elite Mastermind as well. And that is a woman who's further along on her journey. So I also knew I wanted to attract her, but I also wanted to inspire all the people who saw me in my sweatpants and my leggings and go, oh my God, like you made such a difference this last year. How did you do it? And honestly, when you do a style up level, you actually change in a major way because it takes commitment, it takes time, it takes effort and it takes intention. And as you're doing that, you just notice that you start kind of applying that to everything. And so, you know, every day that I'm, I get dressed, I also show up on social because guess what, I don't want to waste an outfit. And as crazy as that sounds, I kind of have this mantra of don't waste an outfit, get online. I like it. And that has been changing my life because two days ago, I post three times in one day. Yeah, Because I was like, I just feel inspired, I feel really good. I feel great in this outfit.

And you're already ready.

Yeah.

I have that mantra, it's never waste a black T shirt.

Oh, there you go. Yeah, it's like you're going to be online all the time.

You know, it's really neat. I've seen a trickle down effect and you know, I'm not going to name anyone because I don't want embarrass them, but I think it's really awesome.

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Clients and people that follow us for a while, all of a sudden, they've stepped up their fashion jewelry game. And in a way that I could tell, like, is inspired by the stuff you've put together, I. And it's really cool. Like, I love seeing. I'm like, oh, this has a positive effect on people that also always wanted to do this, but maybe didn't have a muse or an excuse or the guidance to do it.

Let me ask you a question. What happened to your mom when we went and got her second.

Second piercings?

Yes. Tell me what she did all day long.

She's like, I look so good. Oh, my gosh, I look feminine. Oh, I love that.

I look so beautiful all day. Is. She's still talking about that. And there's these little things for women that I really think that not every woman has to be this way at all. Trust me. I went through a big phase where this would. This did not serve me, this conversation. I was not into it Other. I was into other things. So if you're not into it, it's not your time right now. You're not being called to it. You'll hate it if it's. If it's not. If it doesn't sound exciting. But for me, it's like being able to adorn yourself and, like, put things on that feel beautiful or sparkly or they catch the light. I don't know what it is. It's just. It feels. Feels really good to be intentional with putting these fun things on and getting, you know, what is. It's getting a signature style. And I know that you actually struggle with this right now, and you want one. Like, how do I. Not necessarily signature style. Like, how do I make this look more exciting? And I've figured out that with accessories, you can do that. So what's your.

What's your world record for the number of accessories you have to take off at the end of the night? So far.

So far, I've had, like, 4:42, I.

Think, on you guys. It's a process.

Normally, the normal. The normal amount is 32.

Oh, well, good. That's a biggie that you saw me.

With all weekend long. But it's fast. It. It goes on in, like, four minutes.

This is fun. Should we do two more fast questions?

Yeah. Okay, hold on. I have one. Oh, what's something that you have to do in the next five years, no matter what. Are you going to be really pissed.

Off still my company. Absolutely. No doubt about it. Easy to answer. It's a bucket list thing for me to start a company from scratch and sell it for a significant amount of money. Partially for the money, yes. But mostly for the credibility and the validation that, yep, that is a true entrepreneur that was able to build something of massive enterprise value and find a buyer for it. I think that's the pinnacle of entrepreneurship. There's plenty of versions of entrepreneurship, but it's the pinnacle is being able to create something, a massive enterprise value that the world needed and valued. And somebody came along and said, oh, I want to buy that from you.

You got to be a really big part of the idea machine in the world that moves the big things.

That's cool. That one's easy. But I got a second one. I know you only asked for one. I want to start a classic car reseller. Like, have this incredible epic warehouse, maybe 50 to 100 cars in inventory, but. But not care if they sell. Just drive them, be around them, tinker on them. And then the ones that sell a little, sell great. You know, some money comes in first. We got to put ourselves in position to, like, not care about that. So that kind of comes with the company selling. Yep. But that is. I have to do that within five years or I'll be upset with myself.

Okay. That's exciting. I can already see it. Like, I already see it. I already see family members there. I already see you in it. I already see me, you know, driving down there and hanging out for a little while or bring out food or something fun. Or maybe I'll bring some rose. I don't know. I'll just sit in the corner, I think.

Rose and driving classic cars.

I'm not driving them. We're hanging out there. We're hanging out there.

All right, I got one making one up for you here. Let's see. What's something that you do right now that you really, really, really don't like doing, but you do it anyways because it contribute. Contributes towards a good life or a great life? Like, what's something you push through you don't like doing? You're like, you know, people might think, oh, you love going to the gym or you love doing this, you love doing that, but you've powered.

I've really done such a good job of getting all of those things out of my.

Yeah, I don't know that there is. Wait, this Might just be a good answer in itself for everybody. Build a life where you're not doing stuff that you have to.

I mean, one thing, I love my podcast more than anything, but I'm. I'm taking too many interviews, like up front, and that's really tough for me. I'm doing like four interviews a week right now and I don't want to be. I want to be doing two.

Yeah.

So that feels hard. Four feels hard.

You're super front loaded, aren't you? Like you're months ahead.

But the thing is, it's like what happens with the podcast is I always want to be networking and I always want to be helping people with their book launches.

Yeah.

So what happens is everybody comes who I want to be helping with the book launch. Like I can't even tell you how many people.

Yeah.

Here or with something that they're like, hey, you know, I have this or I want to come on or I have this message. And then we also have things that we want to do for our friends.

And people and, and that becomes all the extra interviews.

I struggle with that.

That's got your normal number of interviews booked. And then something always comes up. This friend has a book launch. Hey. This friend has this thing going on.

So I'm trying to work. I'm trying to mentally work around that because I don't know if that's ever going to end. So we'll see. But I don't love doing four. It's. It's way too heavy for me during the week.

It's way too heavy for everyone but.

Because what happens is if they were. Even if they were all on the same day, that would be better. But they tend to never fall that way. Cuz people's schedules are tough and I normally am so strict. But for those friends or for that person who's like, I have this tight book launch turnaround, I feel like I'm always like giving up another afternoon in the week and I just, I don't know how long I'm going to be able to do that. Because glo is number one priority right now and I need to be really strategic.

Numero uno, glossy. Okay, well, that's kind of fun. Should we just change a show to this? I'm not kidding.

People are like, no, please, no.

Actually I would like your feedback. Should we ask each other questions that we have no freaking idea what's coming more often, more often? Because it ultimately leads to value. Like, I was listening to your answers. It led to value. I don't think we're capable of answering things and not trying to spit it into value. It's like, just what we do.

Yeah.

All right, guys, well, thanks for listening to our shenanigans. We love appreciate you guys. And go grab one of those seats if you want to come to our house September 26th, 27th and mastermind and be on the podcast. All that cool stuff. It's epic. It's epic. It's epic. Best thing we've ever done. So go to chrisharter Me weekend for the weekend. VIP Mastermind. It's chrisharder Me weekend. All right, guys, thanks for listening.

We'll see you next week.

Sam.