The Broke Girl Mindset Disguised As A Rich Girl Mindset

Wanting to get paid for everything is a broke girl energy. And you're not broke because you're unpaid. You're broke because you don't see the value in what you're gaining by doing certain free things. You have to understand the leverage and learn to recognize the opportunity. And that is the real rich girl mindset. Hey, everyone, welcome back to the podcast. It's time for another quickie, because there's always time to fit in inspiration. And I am so fired up about a topic right now. This is one of those topics where I'm like, well, they're either gonna love this or they're gonna hate this. But one thing that I'm working really hard to do is to stand for something and share where I feel really, really passionate, where I believe something is holding people back, even though it might be a way that a group is thinking that is controversial. So I want to share something that I believe is a broke girl mindset disguised as a rich girl mindset. You guys. I also believe that this is something where people are confusing entitlement with empowerment. So from there, I'll tell you a little story. The other day, I was scrolling and a girl's post came up. It was like one of those posts that pop up on threads. I do not know this girl from Adam. She seems great, but she was very passionate about something that she had posted. And it said, if you're having a women's empowerment event and you're not paying women, you're disempowering women. And so I was like, fair? Totally. I'm a woman. I can fully understand where this matters. And I also think it's so layered because somebody who has also had events for nine years and has spoken at so many events, who has not gotten paid and who has gotten paid. I believe that if you are just putting a blanket statement down that you're actually blocking yourself from some of the biggest opportunities out there. And before you start to think what some of these people are saying in the comments to me, like, cue the comments that say, fuck you, pay women. I can't believe you'd spend a hundred thousand dollars on an event and not pay your speakers. Which, by the way, I have paid speakers, and I do pay speakers, and sometimes I don't. And there are many layers and why. And sometimes they get to do offers from the stage. So let's dive into that. So before you start thinking anything, and maybe you're already on the side of, like, no, I believe in opportunities. Like, I really am doing this podcast so that you can start to understand where you should be putting your time, effort, energy, dollars, all of the things. Whether you're someone who's thinking of having an event, whether you're someone who's going to speak at an event, whether you're someone who's trying to charge for speaking at an event, or someone who should be speaking free at an event. And again, this is all my opinion, but I will say I have an extremely successful career. I have made millions and millions and millions and millions of dollars based off of doing some of these things for free. And the people who I know who are still stuck getting rejected because they want to get paid have not gotten on a stage yet or are not getting on the stages with the largest opportunity. So I'll leave that right there. So this is not black and white. And before we make blanket comments like fuck you, pay women, no matter what, we need to understand that this is not just about women. This is about business and this is about opportunities. So I believe that this is a broke girl mindset disguised as a rich girl mindset. So broke girl mindset says, if you don't pay me, I'm not doing it. Rich girl mindset says, I understand the opportunity, leverage and long term positioning. Now I will say I have never been paid for any of my fitness covers. I have been on 11 magazine covers, covers that have been on national newsstands everywhere. These are were extremely popular magazines, were the celebrity back in the day, besides tv. I did not get paid for one of them. In fact, I paid my way to get up there and most of the times I had to buy a ton of outfits. Now I could have been like, screw you guys, I'm not going to do any of this. Or I could understand the opportunity and that it's a business and if that's how it's going to go, that's how it's going to go. And that's the game I'm going to play. And I'm going to leverage the out of that opportunity. And that is exactly what I did. And there were other girls who got on those covers who did not leverage it, who had 15 minutes of fame, were pissed off about it, and they never went anywhere because they had a pissy ass attitude about the opportunity. Now do I think that this is absolutely the most fair thing on earth? Do I think I should have at least gotten my flights and hotel paid for? For sure. But at the same time I understood the opportunity, which is why I was able to grab it and run with it and capitalize on It. And so I actually think that this is okay and you're making life a little bit easier for the people who understand the opportunity. Now, not every opportunity that doesn't pay is disempowering. I believe some are actually your gateway to your largest empowerment possible. I've spoken on stage for free hundreds of times, but I've also been paid, but far less times, you guys, because I understood that being on the right stages was worth more than any paycheck they could ever rate me. I've spent over a hundred thousand dollars on events, single events, way more than that. I've some speakers I've paid, some I haven't. Events are extremely high risk. Most people break even or lose money. This is literally why I tell people who are in our masterminds and coach with us in the mentor collective mastermind that they are not for everyone. In fact, I think they're for a very select few. You have to just be the person who's like, if I don't do this event, like, I feel like I'm going to die. Like, that's the only way I want you doing events is if you know you have to do it in your heart of hearts, because they are extremely risky, especially if you've never had an event. And please, for the love of God, start small. We've had people lose hundreds of thousands of dollars on events because they paid speakers before they sold out the event, and they never sold enough tickets. So we're talking like they sold 50 or 100 tickets to something that cost them $200,000 or $150,000, and they maybe sold $30,000 worth of tickets. So they actually went in debt over paying speakers to show up that they didn't have the money on. So you have to be strategic until you're dialed in. So every decision is going to make or break you when you're doing an event. And most of the time, these events, they're brand moments. They're not profit centers until you're looking at someone who is, like, really, really good on the back end, meaning they know how to pitch from stage. These probably aren't massive profit centers for them. And even the people who are pretty good at pitching from stage maybe make up what they did on the event and then some. So it takes a while to get dialed in on these events, you guys. So I want to share, like, the opportunity equation, because I absolutely have paid for hotels and flights for speakers. Yes, for sure. Do I believe in paying women whenever possible? Absolutely. By the way, I pay a ton of women. One of the reasons that I'm so obsessed with starting glossy is that I get to pay women. And it is the best. But here's the nuance. When you're new, when you're a new speaker, being on someone's stage is the payment. It was my payment to get on stage with big names. It was the opportunity to be able to get up there and do a practice run, you guys, to do practice runs in front of a ton of people. And if someone else take a risk on you because you're being given, number one, a warm audience that's already been nurtured and marketed to all year. Do you know how much money that person has spent between their team and what their marketing dollars are to get people into that room? Not to mention energy, effort, time, stress, everything. It is instant credibility. The second you step on a large stage, it's like saying, I vouch for that person. I don't remember if you guys are or I don't know if you remember the Oprah effect. It was like Oprah had to be so selective because the second they came on her stage, their career was made forever. Do you think those people were paying Oprah to go on the stage? Hell to the no, they were not. They knew the opportunity Oprah had poured into her life and her career so that anyone that went on that stage, their life and their career turned to gold. Because she said, I vouch for this person opened up the floodgates of the audience. Their life was made. Career was made. Why do you think people wanted to be on that stage so bad? Besides Oprah being awesome? So it's a chance to practice your craft in front of real people. So if you're newer, you're still earning the right to be paid. Like, you need to be good. I don't know about you, but I have sat through some speakers where I'm like, oh, man. Like, my stomach hurts because I feel embarrassed for them. And that's not a bad thing. I did that to people when I first was on stage two because I was so uncomfortable that I clearly made other people uncomfortable. Should I be paid for that? No, I shouldn't. I should be grateful for the practice. Sometimes the opportunity is the pay. So I want you to think of it this way. I pay to produce this podcast. I pay anywhere from 500 to $1,500 per episode, maybe even more, depending on if I'm renting a space, if I've traveled, whatever that looks like. If you come on my show and get to sell your Offer and grow your audience and gain exposure. Should I pay you for that? And here's the other thing. I have had people come on and share their offer and I know because I've seen it and they gave me a testimonial that they have made around 40 grand from one episode in the first hour of launching something. So I need you to understand that if I also paid that person to come on after having a podcast for nine years and paying as much as I do per episode, does that make sense to you or does it make sense that the person coming on absolutely pay for their way to get to that podcast? You can feel any kind of way that you want about this, but I am so passionate because I need people to understand that they are passing up opportunities with a broke ass mindset of thinking the world owes you something. And you need to stop confusing empowerment with entitlement. That is entitlement. I do believe that we have to earn the right to get paid and to be good. So the person hosting the platform carries all the cost, they carry all the risk, and they carry the audience that they have built forever. So this is something Chris and I call that we teach in the mentor collective Mastermind, and we're actually going to be teaching more on buy it, borrow it, or build it. And that is how you're going to get an audience. You can either buy it, you can borrow it, or you can build it. And you would have to pay how much money in ads to get a warm audience like the stages and the podcasts that these hosts are allowing you to come on. So you can either pay a shit ton for ads to get cold leads or you can go for free to get in front of super hot fucking leads that are perfect for you as long as you are noticing who is the right fit for you. Now, if you go on a stage that maybe you only speak to women and have women's programs and events, and you go on a stage that's all men, that's clearly not a great fit. Or maybe if core beliefs are completely opposite, like you really need to do your homework, but you have to know how to capitalize on the opportunity. Now, I have gone on a men's stage, 10,000 people in that audience, and I will say nothing really transferred to my brand. That is not why I did that stage. I did that stage to prove something to myself and to give back to that audience. I wanted to prove that I believed at the, at the, at the core that humans were humans, men or women, and that my message could be Carried throughout that and that they would feel it. So was it resonant, you know, into my business because I had only female offers? No, it wasn't. But I did go and I did speak for free. And it was worth it because I knew why I was going. You have to know why you're doing it or say no. So the event host reality is what I want to talk about. The host invest massive money and time and stress to pull this off. You cannot imagine the load, the emotional toll, the sleepless nights, the risk. Like, I was sick to my stomach three months leading up to my event that I had my big one with 500 women for the first three years. Sick to my stomach because it is such a risk to get people there, let alone thinking, will they show up? Will people like this, oh my God, I can't believe I'm going to be on stage for this many days. Like, it's not comprehendable to people who have not done this. So people don't do events because they're glamorous. They do it for brand credibility and community and they're building that brand credibility around you. They're helping you build your brand credibility. If you get to be on that stage and they're fudgeing, handing you a community of people who are like, if they're friends with her, this must be also my person. I'm going to go follow them. I'm going to go purchase their stuff. Guys, it is priceless. So unless you have cash and a strong stomach, I actually fully recommend against doing events because they are one of the most stressful things that you will ever do in business. But when it's worth saying yes, I want you to ask yourself, is the audience aligned with my business and message? Am I allowed to share an offer or collect leads? That's huge, you guys, because that will make it worth it on its own. Like I said, buy it, borrow it or build it. So literally, if you are going to be able to get on stage and collect leads, think of this as if you were doing Facebook ads. You'd have to pay a ton for these leads and they're just free because they love you and they get to have an opt in. So will this help me practice or build my relationships? Will this help me practice or build my craft? Could this give me content? Could this give me photos? Will this give me credibility? If yes, it is worth it? If no, it is more than okay to decline. It is more than okay to be like, absolutely not. But this is your choice. It's not someone else's rule and it's not disempowering. I've been an entrepreneur for over 15 years but when I decided to start my brand Glossy, which was no longer a digital product but instead a CPG consumer packaged goods product, I felt like I was starting from scratch. I had to get together all of my partners, my co packer, my manufacturer. I had to learn how to formulate. I had to figure out my tech stack. Like what even is that? And I will tell you that finding the right tool that not only helps you out but simplifies everything is such a game changer. And for millions of businesses, including mine, that tool is Shopify. 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Turn your big idea into With Shopify on your side, sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com happy go to shopify.com happy shopify.com happy so after living in about five different places in the past five years and having to do all of the window treatments myself and have to source that, I can tell you that I've had a plethora of bad experiences and I decided to try blinds.com so blinds.com calls out the the window treatment industry for what it was. Outdated, overpriced and built to serve salespeople, not customers. So they flipped it. While others may over promise or overcharge, blinds.com delivers custom window treatments for your space your way at your convenience. You guys, I've had times where I have been waiting and waiting and waiting for my appointment and no one shows up that day. So unlike some other competitors, the price you see is the price you pay. No hidden fees and zero pressure. Whether you want to DIY it. Let the Pros handle it or maybe something in between. Blinds.com gives you you options so you're in control. And I will tell you that I went with the help. Need help picking the right look? Blinds.com design experts are available on your schedule with free consultations and if you want the full white glove treatment, they even schedule licensed vetted pros to measure your windows at no cost. And they'll install everything for one low price. And this is exactly what I did. It's all backed by blinds.com's 100% satisfaction guarantee. So you know you're covered literally and figuratively. Because@blinds.com, the the only thing they treat better than Windows is you. RightNowBlinds.com is giving our listeners an exclusive 50 off. When you spend 500 or more, just use code earn at checkout limited time offer rules and restrictions apply. See blinds.com for details. So I call it an internship era. You're not entitled to be paid for everything right away. You're learning, you're practicing, you're proving your value. So I used to pay my own way, like I said, my own flights, my own hotels, my own outfits just for the chance to speak to an aligned audience and get those people to funnel in to my world, into my text list, into my email list. I can't tell you how many people have been in our elite Mastermind which has a very large price tag on it. Who said I saw you speak at blankety blank stage and that is a stage I did for free. Now that stage clearly continues to pay me 50k. 50k, 50k, up to millions of dollars with how many people we have had in our Mastermind throughout the years. Now if I would have said no to that, don't you think that's a broke ass mindset? Don't you think that that's a little entitled, not thinking of the long game and being like I'm new, new ish. But you need to pay me. By the way, some of these were not when I was new. Some of these is because I understand how events work and I understand that they kind of didn't make a lot of money from that. And if you're hosting an event and hosting all of that risk, I believe the event host does deserve to make that money. It's my decision if I get asked to speak at an event and I get to negotiate the price tag and if for some reason they're just not paying, guess what? They're just not paying. And that's okay. I don't have to think. I can think a certain thing in my head, but I can also understand that that's a great opportunity for somebody else who is aligned with that audience. Like, if we start blanket statementing everything, you're going to miss all the opportunities. I clearly feel multiple ways about everything. If someone clearly disses you or is like you're not worth that, then you have the right to get offended. But if that's just not how they function, then great, right? Like, let them. Mel Robbins. Like, let them the fuck out of it. Let them do them. Let it be a great opportunity for someone else. But don't get so butthurt and go rant to everyone that women should get paid, because that's not actually going to pay any women. Like, we need to understand how it works, especially if women are creating stages for women where they can go and get paid. Like, guys, you have to understand how layered this is and that you could take that opportunity and run with it. So I do believe when a woman puts herself out there, does an event takes all that risk, that fear, that judgment, the possible debt that she's about to take on. I do believe that it is very empowering if she invites you but can't pay you yet, or maybe doesn't even pay. But if she can pay you, freaking awesome. But it is your responsibility to find the opportunities that fit and to not get stuck being butt hurt and then telling other people that this is just how it is. So if you're in your internship era, which I believe is one to five years, because you're not a great speaker until you have spoken on hundreds of stages, you're not entitled to be paid for everything right away. Because like I said, you're learning, you're practicing, you're proving your value. So I hope that this helps. Because wine get paid for everything is a broke girl energy. Like, it's literally a broke girl mindset. And you're not broke because you're unpaid. You're broke because you don't see the value in what you're gaining by doing certain free things. Some of the most empowering experiences in my life, I wasn't paid for. And I will tell you, some people are doing some things for free for me right now. Some women and I fully, if this works out, I fully plan on blowing up their business more than any form of payment could have ever done. So you have to look at this as proximity, as gaining confidence, as practice, as proof you can't skip the apprenticeship phase. You have to understand the leverage and learn to recognize the opportunity. And that is the real rich girl mindset. Guys, I'm going to step off the podium for a moment, but I could not shut my face around this, because I believe that this sort of mindset is literally robbing women of opportunities and possibilities of what is going to be possible for them. If they understand you got to put the reps in and that sometimes it's just an opportunity, and that's how you have to look at it. And you don't need to go around and spread something or wreck someone's name, which, by the way, I don't even know this person. Like, I legitimately do not know this person. But I have enough friends with enough events that have paid and that haven't paid and that I have experienced to get very passionate to understand how business actually works. If you are a public speaker by trade, and that is it, you need to get fucking paid, okay? Like, you're a professional speaker, you need to get paid. If you do not do professional speaking for your life. And even then, sometimes if you're a professional speaker and you have a book or something coming out or you want the opportunity to pitch something, that is very different, that is very different. So you have to understand, if you get to pitch on stage, if you get to keep those people, if you're trying to branch out, that's the opportunity, that is the payment that you're getting. If you're going there and you're about to give all of your value, you've honed in this craft. This is what you do. There is nothing that you're allowed to offer. You're not allowed to transfer that audience. That is when you have to get paid and paid well. All right. I'm sending you guys so much love. Please let me know your thoughts on this. And until next time, earn your happy. Bye, everyone.