The REAL Reason People Pay You & How to Succeed Faster

Big shout out to my sponsors this week. On this episode we have BetterHelp for 10 off. All you have to do is go to betterhelp.com forward/lori. HelloFresh wants to give you free breakfast for life@hellofresh.com forward/free earn. And found wants you to try it for free at found.comforward/earn. And Quince wants you to go to quince.comforward/earn for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. We are not getting paid by our clients. We are not getting paid by our people in our programs. We are not getting paid by the people who hire us for our successes. Yes, those are things that catch their attention, right? Those are some of the reasons why people get excited to work with you is because of who you've worked with or things that you've done. But the real reason why you are getting paid and why people will stay with you as a client in any form is because of your failures. Hey everyone, welcome back to the show. It's time for another quickie because there's always time to fit in inspiration. And today I just finished back to back calls, which many of you probably have. But these back to back calls were for glossy. So if you don't know if you are a subscriber on glossy, if you go to getglosi.com forward/happy for 25% off and you become a monthly subscriber, you actually get a free 45 minute call with me for any questions that you want. I also connect you to our community which is just an incredible group of women. I love, love, love these conversations, you guys. We do breakouts on there. We do Q and A, we do connections, we do, um, sometimes I'm teaching on there, sometimes I have some of my amazing friends come on some people in different industries who are experts in their industry for free for 45 minutes every single month. I also have an affiliate call if you are an affiliate. That I also do for 45 minutes. So you guys, if you are not on here yet, I'm telling you, not only is the product freaking amazing and if you are really working on your gut health, you want to wake up feeling leaner. You want to wake up feeling like you have a flat stomach. You want to wake up just feeling, feeling hydrated. This has magnesium, zinc, prickly pear, hyaluronic acid, an amazing clinically studied probiotic. I created what I wish existed. So I said to myself, if I could only take one thing a day, what would it be like if I Got rid of all of my supplements and only took one thing because I'm so over taking pills. Like, I just didn't want to swallow pills anymore. And this is what it was. It was glossy. So, you guys, I'd love to see you in the community. I'd love to see you on the calls. And all you have to do is go get a subscription. So let's talk about this week. I have been a traveling woman, so I was in Austin for Melissa Hanault's event called Burnout to All Out. We also had our amazing podcast team there, too, capturing some behind the scenes. So shout out to Brianne and Danny, who are editing this. So what's up? It's always fun when they're editing to be like, oh, hey, that's me. And we had a great time there speaking and also just getting to really connect with a lot of people I haven't seen in a while. And I was sharing some different things. And you know those moments when, like, I was being doing a Q and A with Melissa, who was hosting the event, and she stopped me while I was talking and she's like, oh, my God, say what you just said again. And normally I don't remember what I just said. I'm like stream of consciousness. I don't even know what I was saying. So do you want to repeat it? But this one I remembered because I'm like, this realization that my entire career, everything that I have done is kind of summarized in this sentence is that we are not getting paid by our clients. We are not getting paid by our people in our programs. We are not getting paid by the people who hire us for our successes. Yes. Those are things that catch their attention, Right? Those are some of the reasons why people get excited to work with you is because of who you've worked with or things that you've done. But the real reason why you are getting paid and why people will stay with you as a client in any form is because of your failures. Because you are helping them skip the line. You are helping them to not have to go through what you did. You are helping them from not having to lose the money that you lost. And you're helping save them time, save them money and give them the plan and help keep them on a track that helps them to know what to look out for. So you're getting paid for your failures. And the funny thing is, is failing is the exact thing that we're trying to skip over all the time in our careers. Right? Like, none of us want to fail. None of us especially want to fail publicly. But do you want to know the main thing that people love when I'm going and speaking in all of these rooms? What really, really resonates with them? What makes them, you know, convert into clients of Chris and I's for different masterminds or programs that we have? Do you want to know what makes them convert? Is the vulnerability of sharing my major failures. So the very thing that you're trying to avoid, because it's going to be embarrassing, because it's going to be painful, they're paying you to tell them how to avoid it. And also when they go through it, because they will. We can't make them avoid everything, right? That's just they. They have to go on their own journey. It's vital for their own journey that when they go through the. The fall, when they go through the painful thing, you can guide them. You know exactly what to say. You know exactly how it feels, right? You can give them an example. You can tell them what you did. You can tell them how to take care of themselves, who to surround themselves with, how to prepare for what the public says, how to prepare for the pivot, how to prepare for all of it. And you would never, ever, ever be able to do that if you didn't go through that yourself. So get excited about the things that you're failing through. Get excited when something happens that you get to have that experience under your belt and learn from it and be that much better of a. A teacher or a coach or a business coach or a public speaker. Like, the people that we are most magnetically attracted to have some serious stories, right? They've gone through some shit. Like the people that you listen to on podcasts, the people that you look up to, you look up to them because they've gone through it. They talk about it, They've gotten to the other side. Like, how freaking boring would it be to listen to someone's just wins all day long and be like, you know, I can't really answer any of your questions that you have audience, because I've never struggled with a family that didn't support me. I've never struggled with a marriage that failed. I've never struggled with, you know, getting canceled. I've never struggled with people rejecting me. Everybody's just always said, yes, and I win, win, win, win, win, win. You'd be like, get this person away from me. We're essentially pushing away the very things that turn us into a fricking magnet, that make us interesting, that make us stronger and so you are getting paid for your failures. Not immediately, but eventually you are. And so I had posted a reel the other day, and this is another thing we're going to talk about, that I had posted a story. Actually, this reel started as a story because I was like, you know what? I want to go on live and just talk to people more. It's like always what I'm working on, right? I die, I go in and out because sometimes travel just throws me off. And all I'm doing right now is traveling. And the busier I get, the harder it is for me to remember to go on stories. But it's. It has to be a part of my business. It has to be a part of my life. It just has to be what I do. I can't make excuses. I can't say I'm too busy because there's always a million people, 100 million people busier than I am in this very moment, who are doing more than me or who are doing exactly what I want. So I don't ever want that to be an excuse. So I was like, okay, while I'm curling my hair, I'm just going to turn on some stories and talk about some thoughts that I have right now. And the thought was around this idea that I'm talking about. But what happened is this story just kind of hit for me. I was like, okay, that felt really good. Like I want people to know this. So I immediately took that story and I was like, you know what? Screw it. I'm going to save this. I'm going to put captions on it. I'm going to turn it into a real right now. I'm not going to think too much about it. I'm going to post this real and so a crappy ass story, you guys. Like, I'm curling my hair. Like women are literally like, why are you curling your hair forward one way and back the other way? I don't know because I didn't know you weren't supposed to do that. I did not care, right? I was just getting ready, talking to stories and posted it as a reel. And that reel got like over 40,000 views right now. And I'm like, okay, that's not too shabby for a shit story that I turn into a reel. That this took me all less than five minutes. All of it where I've been spending so much time overthinking the process, right? So it's like, how can you be okay? But what did I first have to do in order to even do that? I Had to be okay with failure and okay with that sucking and okay with, like, you know what? I don't really care what this content looks like because right now I like the message, but I'm going to put this out there. You have to be okay with failing and failing publicly more frequently because you will get paid for the failures, not necessarily for the successes. So I talked about that on that reel. You will be compensated for the amount of scary things you're willing to do in a day. This was the other portion of it. You will be compensated for the amount of scary things you are willing to do in a day. Tim Ferriss quote is you. Your level of success can be determined by the number of hard conversations that you're willing to have in a day. Let's talk about that in terms of this. Your level of success will be determined by the amount of challenging things you do in a day, by the amount of scary things you do in a day, by the amount that your capacity and your threshold expands. So I think back to myself, even, let's just say 10 years ago, because five years ago is different again. Another huge leap from doing scary things every day. Ten years ago, what I do in one day would have been what I accomplished in 30 days. I'm not even kidding you. Maybe three months. The amount of scary things I do, the amount of asks that I make, the amount of things that I get through, whether it be I made three reels that day. I recorded three podcasts along with that day. I wrote an email that day. I got on three meetings that day. Like, this is my schedule now. Where in the past it would have been like, oh, I have to record a podcast or two. That's going to take me all day. I'm going to have to think about it. It's going to have to be perfect. I'm going to have to go through this whole thing. No, no, no, no. That's like an hour now. Like, I'm like, oh, my gosh, turn it on. Like, go in my notes section. What have I been writing down? What have I been thinking about? Turn it on, Record it. Don't overthink it. Send it off. What's next? Okay, I have to ask these people to get this thing done for my company because now I have hired, like, I have people on my team. I can't disappoint them. Okay, Just, like, write it with the best intention possible. Say a little prayer over it. Send it off. Like, it is so much faster now. You need to get to the level in which you are moving through challenging things quickly. And that is when you're going to watch your not only your compensation start to go up eventually. This takes some time, right, for reality to catch up to what you're doing. You're going to watch how your inner circle is going to improve because you are now somebody who's playing a different game. You're playing a totally different game when you're willing to do more scary things more frequently. You speak a different language. Like, you know, if I was to go have a friend circle who was scared all the time of things, I wouldn't fit very well in that friend circle because what would end up happening is instead of us talking about things we're doing or how we can support each other, I would just end up talking them through how to do those things. Right? So that's another reason why your friends up level is because you now have the same things in common and the same problems in common and you can support each other in the same way. So everything improves. Your capacity improves, your threshold improves. And it doesn't happen overnight. Like you just start trying to do even just one scary thing a day. One scary, ask one, you know, big leap, One thing that feels so outside of your comfort zone. Put content out every day. My God, that's enough to improve somebody just having regular reels, regular content, getting better on the mic, getting better on camera. So, you guys, I hope that this helps. I really hope that you take this challenge. I hope that you understand the level in which people who you're looking at that you want to be doing outside of myself, like, they're doing 10x what I'm doing in a day. So give yourself some time. Start with the one scary thing a day. I'd love to hear if this is something you're going to do, if this open your eyes to the realization of looking at what people have to handle, dealing with negative comments all the time. Like, that's all going to be what happens in how your capacity expands when you do the scary things, right? Because when you do one post a day and you're nervous about it and it's not perfect, the comments come in. So you get to quote, unquote, practice in the comments section, letting it be okay that someone doesn't like you block and delete, don't engage, or, you know, engage with a positive intention. But this is how we grow. It's not just because we put the post out and we're like, oh, congratulations, you put the consistent scary post out. That's amazing. I'm Proud of you. You start to grow when those comments come in, right? You start to grow when you. You want to improve that content. You start to grow when you're getting more vulnerable with your content. You start to grow after this consistency thing is down. So the beginning is just the consistency. Give yourself the grace and the space and the time to grow. And then also give yourself the grace to be able to handle all of the things that come with it before you go to the next layer and the next scary thing. But I promise you, if you stick with this, it will happen automatically and you'll actually crave more. You'll want to do more. Okay, you guys, I'm so grateful for you. These are some of my favorite things to just be able to come on and chat with you while you're on, on your walks, on your dog walks, on your runs, you know, driving to work on your recruits, putting on makeup, whatever that is. I just feel like I get to be with you in those moments where maybe you need a little pump up or you need a little reassurance. We all do. And I'm here to tell you that you are made to do big things, and you know it. The pain of inconsistency and the pain of playing small are far, far worse than not doing it. It's far worse. So do the scary thing. I know that you can. I'm so proud of you. I love when I get to hear your feedback and when you do the scary things. When I see you on the glossy calls and you tell me about what you're up to, and I get to see all the awesome things that that community is doing and the support that you're giving to each other. So, you guys, thank you so much for always supporting. I will see you next week. Bye, everyone. It.