Turn Your Setbacks into Your Greatest Strengths, Live Living Room Session with Lindsey Schwartz

I get a phone call from my publisher. There's a typo on the COVID The word fulfill had too many Ls fulfill. I'm so fulfilled.

I didn't even tell my husband until after we were married. Guys.

That's how I forgot about that. Got him. She calls me bawling, and she goes, I got canned. And it was the first time ever in my life that I had the thought, maybe I need a plan B. Powerhouse women. All of this very well could not exist. Everything in me at that point wanted to pull the plug.

It's okay if someone doesn't like you. It's okay if something didn't work out. It's okay if you said something stupid. You don't have to go and send 50 texts and make sure it's all good. It all has to be that I'm okay with me.

How's everybody doing? Oh, my gosh.

It's all my face.

This is great. Okay, perfect. I know. I always feel like I have to scan the room and just, like, acknowledge everybody with my eyes. Hi.

Hello.

Hi. Like, who's here?

She does the tickets. So I don't ever know who's coming until I, like, get in. And I'm like, oh, yay, Our friends are here. Who has not been here yet? Oh, my God.

Really?

That's crazy. You're gonna hate it. I'm just kidding.

We really hope not to disappoint you. Every time we come back and do these, it's a reminder to keep asking ourselves and for all of us to ask ourselves, like, how can business actually be more fun? Because I just notice how much I tend to bring the weight of the world into it, especially when things are a little bit more challenging. And we're going to dive into that a little bit tonight. Just how we've really reset our mind in seasons that we were really under pressure there was really. I've been talking a lot about this within the powerhouse community, and we're going to have another version of this conversation tonight. But just about. How are any of you right now in this season where you feel like you're on the verge of a major up level? You just can feel it. Do any of you feel like it's the opposite? Like, actually, you're in a season of contraction, and all of you are probably going to raise your hand for both if you're truly on the verge of that next expansion? Because that is what it looks like.

I feel like they're the same.

It's the same thing. And we looked back at Our each of our journeys and realized that there have been these pivotal moments where now with the hindsight, the benefit of hindsight, we realize that we were being prepared for what was coming next. But it didn't look like that or feel like that at all. And so we're excited to dive into that in a little bit.

Yeah, I love that. It's really like your next level is going to come in the form of something that feels like a breakdown for sure. So that might be the season that you're really in right now. It might just feel like small things keep happening or it might just feel like a giant like mountain or weight. But that is the form that it's coming in. It doesn't come any other way. You don't get an up level in like, hey girl, you're already doing awesome. Here's more awesome.

Like, it's like you're doing awesome.

You thought you were doing awesome. Here's a shit sandwich. I mean, how you have more fun in business. I was just thinking like in that top, you have more fun in business.

That's how I'm afraid to shimmy too much. You just never know. There's children in the room. Okay.

Speaking of shimmying, I want to do a bestie edification. Like a bestification. I don't know. I may.

She came up with that in the back. Please laugh. I knew that was spent. A lot of time was spent on that joke.

Could we get an apology clap sign up here. Would be like, this is not funny. But I just want to do a major shout out because she just finished Powerhouse Women. I think many of you.

Delayed reaction, but thank you.

And I just want to say because, you know, I. I have an events background. Like, that is one of. Events are one of the most challenging, challenging, like spiritually shaking things that you can possibly do. Who's done an event in here? It's like, it is so emotionally, it's like the biggest thing that will test you because it's not only will people show up, you'll have times through your ticket sales where it's like you want to cancel the whole thing. You'll have things go wrong. You'll think you're losing your mind and your money and your, you know, your family. I don't know. And that will happen throughout, like doing events. It's so much pressure. And I just want to say that you have just hung in there and built it to what it was, which was 800 people. And that is so freaking exciting. So, so cool.

So cool. My turn she's the Sagittarius of this friendship, and she helps for what I need.

I get what I need.

Okay. She really. You really do help me remember to pause and allow that in. So thank you for that opportunity. There's so many things that I love about this woman and really, like, sitting here doing a podcast together is the reminder of, like, I remember when you started Earn your happy and what an inspiration it was to me because I was that person with, like, the podcast equipment collecting dust in my closet. Like, damn it, she did it. And now to see. I mean, I think this week it was number 16 on the entrepreneurship charts, ahead of Gary Vee. You heard it here. She showed me the screenshot, and it was all the bros and then this beautiful blonde, and just. And just to see the impact that it's made. I mean, most of us are probably in this room indirectly or directly because you went first, and you've been so consistent over a thousand episodes. I remember when we were celebrating your thousandth episode, and now it's just gone to a whole new level, and it's been so fun to see and to watch. And thanks for letting me be on your podcast.

Oh, my gosh, are you really hear what make it fun. And thank you so much for that. And just thanks to everybody who listens because I. And also, I hope that it proves that you can be an absolute mumbling shit show and still somehow. But truly, like, they. I always like to share this with people who have a podcast or speak or do anything like that. Like, probably 70% of your stuff will feel really, really mediocre or maybe not even good to you. And a lot of times that's the stuff that still within there hits, you know, so you have to remember, like, your version of just getting on a mic and feeling mediocre and saying what happened that particular day or what you're going through is someone else's, like, Bible. It's their playbook. It's their, like, saving grace. So just the consistency is what's going to work for people.

Yeah, it's so true.

So we're gonna chat about what we thought we could do is go back to pivotal moments in our lives. Like, we kind of rewound about 10, 15 years and said, okay, where were we? What was the mindset we had, like, at that time when we were thinking of doing the thing that we wanted? What was the thing we wanted to do? And then what was, like, the breakdown to the breakthrough? So we've picked about three or four in our careers to go no, no. This is how we actually used to think. Here was the breakdown that made us have to find a different way to think. So you want me to start or do you want to start?

You go first.

Okay. Yeah. So my very first one is actually when we. In 2008. So for some of you who are. Were fetuses at that time, 2008. 2008, there was this thing called a recession.

And all the money dried up.

All the money dried up. My husband was in mortgage and finance and he was the main breadwinner in the family. And I, at that time, we had just gotten married. We were probably like three or four years into our marriage and I hadn't graduated high school. I was working, like, jobs. Like, I was working at a coffee shop. I was working at a drive through coffee shop. Hey, I loved it. I loved it. I loved to provide happiness for people in a cup. But I always knew there was so much more for me. But because I had this constant asterisk in the back of my head going, you're not smart enough. You can't tell people you didn't graduate. You'll never get a job anywhere. So I would always take, like front desk at a salon. I would wear. I worked at Ulta and, you know, did some makeup and did the checkout counter and did, like I said, the drive thru coffee shop and all of these things. I would go to that job and I would super excel because I wanted to be like, I wanted to be great. But this hurt my heart even more because I was like, I'll never be better than this because I just felt like I'll never be able to go to that next level. So it was always, you're not smart enough. You have so much shame around not graduating. You can never tell people like it was. So I don't know if you Even remember, but 10, 15 years ago, if you told someone you didn't graduate, it was like a very not okay thing. It was like, oh, okay, loser. Yeah. And so I hid that. Like, I didn't even tell my husband till after we were married.

Guys. That's how I forgot about that. Got him.

I was like, and then here's my baby Tommy that you've never met.

Just kidding.

And Jerry.

Okay, Tom and Jerry. See what you did there? Oh, man.

Okay, so back to it. So that was where I was at in 2008. And the recession was like a giant. It was just a giant reset. It's what it is, right? It's a reset for everyone if you let it be. And I think so many people looked at that as a really terrible time. Just like maybe we looked at the pandemic, but if we can look back now, it's like that is like such. I think in life there are these natural resets and these natural wake up calls, if we can see them that way. And a lot of times we look at the major challenges and the major hard times as like, why is this happening to me? And this is horrible and the world is bad. When I think they're offerings. Like, you have to. I don't think they're offerings. I believe they're offerings and that's why they always will be for me. So if we can look at them that way, so 2008, we lose everything. He doesn't have a job to even go to because that job is no longer. It doesn't even exist. Like it's not even possible to go back into what he was doing at that particular time. So this was my moment after growing up and my parents losing everything. They had gone bankrupt once this happened. Now it felt like it was happening a second time. And the thing I didn't share before this is like he was rising in his job so fast and we were buying big homes and cars and it was just like, whoa, we're so. We've got all this money. We can't believe it. We're these Midwest kids. This is amazing. We were overspending. It was crazy. To losing everything, to having people walk in our house and buy the furniture we just bought for pennies on the dollar. Like literally walking out with beautiful furniture for like what felt like five bucks and just picking it out and watching it just go away. And then having to leave the house and then not have any money and having to borrow money from your in laws and take all of their retirement to get back on your feet. And so that moment for me was the mom, like, I'm already at rock bottom. Like, you better just freaking go for it. And I don't think you need to be at a rock bottom to have that belief. But you can look at it as I am already in worst case scenario. There's nothing to lose, you guys, if you don't have the friend group that you want right now. There is nothing to lose by asking 50 women that you'd love to be friends with if you don't have the job you want right now. There is nothing to lose by going and trying something else. Because guess what? You can get another shitty job if that one fails. You do more out there. Like you're kind of like, oh, I don't know. I'm so scared to leave. Trust me, you'll find another job. Like you're all beautiful, confident women. You'll get another job, probably a better one. So it was just the moment of, you better frickin go try everything and you have nothing to lose because you're already living out your worst case scenario. And that was when I just, I went to town. I was like, I can't live this way anymore. And like being afraid of everything isn't working. So the question became, how can I learn how to support myself? And that's really what I, what I started to do.

Was there like a little moment that there was a pity party?

Oh, God. I mean, the little moment lasted like a year.

Yeah, yeah. Was there. What was the point that you made the decision or was there like a catalyst?

Is.

Was it just one day you woke up and got sick of your own shit?

It truly for that one. You know how sometimes it's like you get sick in the moment or sick of it in the moment, but then it takes a while. Truly. Actually for that one, it was so visceral because it was such a big. It was a big moment in history then. It was a big moment, my husband coming home and saying that and losing everything. It was a cellular rejection of. I said to him, this will never happen to us again, ever. And it was because I also knew that I was not taking responsibility for where we were financially before that. So I wasn't mad at him at all. It was a true moment of, oh, I've kind of known we're not like spending in a way that we maybe should. And we kind of started to see the writing on the wall, but we just kept kind of like living this lifestyle because we're young, we didn't know even historically what happens in the world yet. And so I think there was a moment of I need to take responsibility. I wasn't mad at all. And we just like, let's do this different. Like, let's be smarter.

I can just relate to that so much because number one, like so many of those common themes of getting to a place where you knew that a change needed to happen, but you ignored it. And I think so many of my seasons, I realize I'm so not a fast learner at all. I will just keep feeling that pressure until it forces me to make some kind of a change. I think I'm getting better at leaning into the pressure and creating pressure that forces me to change in a way. That I have a little bit more control over, which feels a little bit more comfortable. But it's funny you mentioned that timeframe because for me, at that time, some of you know my story. I sold carpet for a living.

How much do you love that about that?

That's not like a euphemism for something that's just. That's. I. That's what I did. I. I drove a minivan.

Tell me about the weaves. Tell me about the weaves of the carpet.

That's not a thing. That's not a thing.

Not like tight weaves or loose weaves.

Or anything you want to talk about pile height or stitches per inch. If you want to talk about a hot water extraction and maintenance program, I could talk about that all day long. I still walk into an airport and I'm like, wow, they've just really been slacking on their maintenance program. It's not my, not my job anymore. But I look back and I realize how much I've always been really intuitively guided. And at that season of my life, whether I realized it or not, I was being pulled to make decisions that to my conscious mind didn't seem to make sense. I mean, growing up in the Midwest, I think people are just excited when you get a job. I mean, I literally thought I had made it.

True story.

I really had. I remember being like, mom, I got this job. They're going to move me somewhere it doesn't snow. They're going to give me a car. It's a big deal. An expensive house.

That's a huge deal. Anybody from the Midwest?

Yes.

No.

I was like, I got a four. I made it on my $40,000 a year salary. And the company car was a hand me down minivan. So I would. My sales territory included Las Vegas. So I would pull up to valet at Caesars for like a lunch. And just this is, this is still me to this day. Like, do not care at all. I would just pull my free minivan up behind a Bentley and, you know, the ballet guys would run over. And then they kind of look like.

You'Re like, leave it in front.

And I'd be like, who wants it? But what I remember about that time period and what ended up happening was actually the catalyst for the entire life that I've built now because, yes, I sold commercial flooring. So I worked with, on these big construction projects. And I was in Arizona at the time, right on the, on the edge of the recession. So the moment I got here and started to build this career that I thought I had it made. I mean, I would get commission. I was like, I could probably make like 80k a year at some point, maybe in 5 years. Just. That was the biggest I could dream. But then the recession hit. Commercial construction was hit the hardest. And I watch all my friends get laid off. I remember my roommate calling me. We had just had lunch. She was an interior designer at Caesars. Dropped her off. I know she was in Phoenix. She wasn't that fancy. And I get down the street and she calls me, bawling, and she goes, I got canned. And I just watched people my age get laid off. And it was the first time ever in my life that I had the thought, maybe I need a plan B. Like, maybe, maybe this version of success that I had been fed as, as a, you know, someone growing up in. In a place where that actually was the biggest that most people dreamt. I had never allowed myself to think bigger. I never knew anyone who was an entrepreneur. I just had this. The seed of a thought that just said maybe. And it led to this path that I started to open my mind up to other ways of earning money. And eventually, I think a lot of us find our first business in network marketing. I think that's just like the rite of passage. And it was such a beautiful season because I don't think. Had I not been put under that pressure, had I not seen that, oh, all of a sudden one day, my perspective of what was real actually just completely shifted. It was like the veil was lifted. And I realized, oh, this isn't the sure thing. I was still building my career. I hadn't. I was living, like, in an apartment with a girl I met on Craigslist. So I didn't have a lot to lose at that time, but remembered watching what was happening and realizing, oh, I've been living into a reality that maybe isn't always true. So the truth for the American dream that my parents lived into, and that was they built their career, they worked. My dad worked at the same company for 20 plus years. Maybe that isn't always the truth for someone's reality. And I realized things were changing and I had to change really quickly, which someone who's not an early adopter. I am grateful for the pressure that applied to make me think differently because I. I weathered the storm. I never was laid off. I got to keep my minivan till the day I turned in my carpet samples.

Like, did you want to keep the carpet samples?

Oh, I did. I keep. Kept some of them. Yeah, they make great, like, entry mats for your house. Anyone who'd been. I mean, Taylor's been to my house.

She was a bad girl, guys.

Yeah, I really was. And, But. But still, you could look back at that and say, that's such a, like, weird plot twist. But I remember feeling so clear coming out of Colle College that I was supposed to say yes to that opportunity, even though it was weird telling my friends, yeah, I'm moving to Arizona to sell carpet. That's just not, I don't think, the path that anyone saw for me. And yet I knew. I knew so deep down there was something for me in this season. The same way that I knew there was something for me when that. That reality of what I thought I was living into and what my future looked like, that shifted. And then I just kept trusting that next little step that I was guided to. And I think that was the start of this point, because then entrepreneurship is just the biggest trust fall any of us will ever embark on. It's the biggest personal growth journey. It was starting to build this confidence in trusting myself. Even if everyone laughed at the decision I was making or didn't get it, I really just knew. And that season taught me so much about listening to that intuition because it brought me here. I think that being in that industry at that time, I don't know that I ever would have become an entrepreneur otherwise. I don't know. I think I could have been totally happy just building my carpet empire.

You could say the rug got ripped, Right?

You could say, oh, thank you. We'll be here all night.

All right. All right. So what was kind of the biggest takeaway, though, from that time?

Yeah.

Do you remember what the mindset shifted into?

It really was just learning to trust myself.

Okay.

And. And I have this. This personality trait that is optimistic to the point of delusion. And sometimes I question myself. I feel like, Danny, we were just having this conversation at the live or the podcast we were recording the other day is like, is this just being so much into personal development? But I will actually. I can actually look at something that is the worst case scenario. I never would have chosen. And I would have been like, this is somehow going to teach me something. It's for me. And I just have leaned into that. And it's true. It's actually what I believe. It's what I know. I have certainty in it. And so every single time I've been faced with. And there's. We'll get into some of the other ones, things that I just never would have chosen every single time. Yes, I have the moments of fear, yes, I have the moments of breakdown. But in those moments there's also just this deeper knowing that there is going to be something for me. I've just always known that I am very supported on like a spiritual level. I know that I'm being guided by something so much more powerful than me. And you either believe that all the time, it's either 100% true or it's 0% true. And there are times that I'm like, I don't think it's true today. I had one this morning, if I'm just being totally honest, like, I was bawling my eyes out this morning, having just such a hard moment. And I remember I just said, I need strength. I need strength. I need to remember that you are there. And I got it. I got the confirmation that I needed. And it. And that's deepened for me so much the more. I've gone through some of these phases that we're going to talk about and my relationship to what that guidance is has changed and deepened. But I've always known, and that was the time when I just started, I was like building my own career, building my own life. I was no longer asking myself, what do my parents want me to do. I was leaning into like, for whatever reason, I feel like this next step for me is Arizona. And yeah, I'm going to sell carpet and whatever, we'll figure out what that means. But. But it was just like a knowing. And I think the confidence, the certainty in that, that you're being led in a direction that is for you, it's going to teach you something, it's going to expand you. You just can't really go wrong if you're willing to lean into that. And for me, it's been, it's either 0% true or it's 100% true. There's no in between.

They said there's no part time faith. Like it's full time faith. Yeah. Otherwise. Yeah, Chris just said that to me the other day. He was like, well, it's either all true or none of it's true. So you pick. I'm like two middle fingers. Exactly. Okay. So the second one in my life for me was fitness, which I feel like we had. We lived parallel lives. I actually don't know if we met through network marketing or fitness. Like, we don't know. Those two worlds were colliding for both of us. And at the time that I had started getting into when I say fitness, I had wanted to do fitness competitions, but the main goal at the time was to be on a fitness cover that was kind of like if you were into fitness, that was like the end all, be all. Does anyone remember that? Now it's like, nobody wants to be on a fitness cover. They're like, I'll make money as an Instagram model. I'm like, you go, girl. Because you will make more money than not getting paid for a fitness cover ever. So anybody get paid for those? I didn't. So at that time, that was like the end goal. I thought that people would. I mean, in all honesty, at that point in my life, it was just like validation. Like, I just wanted to be seen. Like, I wanted anybody to be like, oh, she's credible. And especially coming from the background that I came from, it was like very much a. I think just wanting to feel like I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, people want me. And I had never experienced that with not going to high school, not graduating, never really getting any accolade like that in your life. So we all need attention, right? And it's okay to want attention. It's just, how are we gonna seek that? How are we gonna get it for ourselves and how are we gonna know? Also, a lot of the, like, a lot of the attention that you do end up getting, it's not gonna matter. Cause ultimately it's going to have to be you who are validating yourself. If you feel yourself in the same story that I'm telling, like, you know, that your journey was that you had to self validate. Because if we're seeking it, it's probably that we need to learn how to self validate. So for me, that's what the entire, like, beginning of my fitness journey was about was. Okay, I want these fitness covers because when I get that, then I'll be credible enough to have the business, then I'll have the community, then I'll get asked to do these things, then I'll get paid. And so four years go by where I'm working insanely hard and competing for four years. That's a very long time to be competing, like doing competitions maybe four times plus per year. That's a lot of competitions in a year. It's like you're just a lot of tilapia. It's. It is so much.

Helen knows.

Yeah. Oh, my gosh.

Felicia knows. We don't want to talk about it.

They call tilapia the rodents of the water.

So.

Because they're like bottom feeders, you know, I'm just like, oh, I'm so glad to know that. I know.

Exactly.

So anyway, yes, a lot of tilapia and a lot of asparagus. Can't eat either of them anymore. So, yes, at that time, just really, like, feeling like I'm putting in the work and putting in the time. Who feels that way right now? Like, I'm putting in the work, I'm putting in the time. Who's on year, like, two of kind of, like, really grinding on something. Okay. Year three of really grinding on something. Be like, come on, who's on year four? Okay. Who's like, you're five. Okay. Yeah. And what's so funny is, if you look back, you still are way ahead of the version of you one year ago, two years ago, three years ago. But we want it fast, right? So when you're in it, I really. One of the beliefs that came out of this, one of the first beliefs was I started to notice that things come at a speed in which you can handle them, and they won't come any sooner and they won't come any later. And some things that don't come were actually never, ever meant to happen. And you'll find that five years forward, you'll be like, oh, that whole thing was never, ever meant to happen. Because that would have taken me this completely different direction to never meet this person or do this thing or whatever it is. And so that was the first lesson I learned because it felt like everything. Maybe, Felicia, you've had this experience too, like, the girls that you'd kind of come up with or compete with. It felt like all of my friends were winning and getting covers and getting magazines. And I was like, on year four, and I'm like, hi. I was also from the Midwest. I wasn't very pushy competing with girls from Boston. They were getting everything because they're like, look at me.

Do you like me?

It wasn't working until it worked. And so what ended up happening is I got the memo. Like, I got the universal memo. But the way that I got it was because one day I just had a realization that I had all of these covers up, up on, like, a vision board, right? I had covers up of fitness magazines. It was like five different covers of different women that I loved of this magazine that I wanted to be on. And I stood in front of this magazine cover after being rejected multiple times. And this was actually after getting chosen to go up and shoot a cover to have them, then not use it and not tell me why. But there are stories in the industry, and they're like, if you go up and they don't use your cover, you're done. Like, you're done for life. Like, you're just done. I'm like, so this is how. I'm standing in front of this vision board going, I didn't have another plan because I didn't graduate, and I could do fitness without the education, right? So that's still a story. So I'm standing in front of this vision board, and I just have this moment of, like, I let myself go there, of this may never happen. Like, this might never happen. And so I have a complete meltdown. Like, right now. If the biggest dream that you have, like, completely, 100%, if you had a realization that it may never happen, like, it was just taken from you. Like, maybe the country changes and we no longer have a freedom to do something. Like, that's. It's like that realization. You may never get this thing ever. And it's the part where you have to get okay with that. But before you get okay with it, you get real crazy. And so there's the vision board, and then my bed. And I remember just being like. You know the feeling where you just. I threw myself on the bed and screamed, and I was pounding my legs and pounding my fists, and I was wailing, like, at the top of my lungs, like, the craziest screaming, because it just felt like I needed to let it all out. And I was angry and resentful and upset and, like, what did I do wrong? And why aren't they picking me? And choose me. Choose me. Choose me.

See me.

See me. What else do I have to do? And, you know, when you, like, are crying, I'm sure maybe this morning might have, like, had an experience.

I'm like, were you this. Did you have a hidden camera in my room?

You get to this place where you realize, like, there's no audience watching you, and no one's gonna, like, be like.

Oh, are you okay? And you're just like.

So you're on the bed.

Like, there's just the whimper.

I remember being like, shoot. Like, no one is gonna. Like, no one is gonna save me. And so I sat. Like, when you're just like, Was that useful at all? And I remember saying, okay. Then my logical brain took over, and I was looking at this vision board, and I said, why do I want this? Like, truly, like, be the most raw that you've ever been with yourself. Because at this point, I had started doing personal development a little bit as well, and it was like, really dig into why you want this. And it Was like, well, okay, Validation. I want. I want to feel like I'm good enough. Like, I want to feel like people are like, whoa, good job. I want to work with you. I want a community. I want to be helping people all the time. I want to be on camera doing different things. Like, and I named everything and realized that there was no barrier of entry to any of those things. It was me waiting for a cover to think that they were going to give it to me. And so that whole season of my life became anoint yourself and get out of your own way. And so I started a fitness community. I started doing these, like, boot camps at my gym all the time. I started Busy Girl Healthy Life, where I made food.

I still have your cookbook.

It was go. I mean, look it up. You will get. It is the most fun thing you'll ever watch. It's horrible. I will cook turkey sausage on there like a boss. Like, is it great? It's like, hi, everyone. It's so bad.

It's.

You should watch it. You'll be able to do anything after this, truly. So started that, and what ended up happening is I created this community, and people started following for those things, and I. I started getting a big following on Facebook because I was constantly, like, creating this life for myself. And so a year goes by of, like, really putting in work, and I'm like, you know what? I'm just gonna try again, because now I don't feel attached. Like, I felt a completely different energy, and I ended up trying again in multiple different ways. It wasn't just one way that I ended up getting in there, but I had gone to an event where I knew an editor was at and kind of planted a seed there. And then I went to another event, and then I had emailed a bunch. Then I was like, oh, you know, I'm gonna be in Toronto in two months. I wasn't going to Toronto.

Who goes to Toronto?

You know what I mean? I was like, I'm gonna be time. If this works for you, I'll buy all my outfits and pay for my way. And they're like, okay, great. And so I ended up going up there and shooting the COVID but it was a totally different energy. I don't even think the first cover was probably so desperate. They were, like, this bad. I actually know why it was. It had something to do with the owner's wife who got that month instead of me, but I didn't get to find that out until, like, five years later. So which was, for me, it's And.

I still remember that cover. I remember that cover coming out. It was before we had, like, officially crossed paths and. And not even knowing the story behind it. It's like, you know, when you can feel the energy of something, you just don't even really need to know the story behind it, but you can feel that something had to transform in order for that to happen. And I just remember that. I think that was, like, around the time that we started to kind of be in each other's circles, and we didn't even. We still don't to this day. People will ask how we met, and we're like, we don't actually know.

No clue.

I think our souls were probably friends in. In other lives, other lifetimes, so we just found each other in this one. And, I mean, there's so many things that I'm actually, like, really impacted by hearing you tell that story because I realized that up until this point, something that I really have that has really held me back is I don't like to risk very big. I don't give, like, my hundred percent. And it's tricky because my 80% looks like other people's hundred. Anyone else know that about yourself? And just even listening to you share these stories, it's like, I'm just so. I'm so proud to know you. You have been such a constant source of inspiration for me. And I think I'm seeing a lot, even in my current season where I see why I don't have everything that I know I'm meant to have. And part of it is just so afraid to show up and do it messy and look stupid and. And just fail more often. And without you even knowing it at the time. I always feel like I share this story a lot. So I'm having this internal dialogue right now. Like, you guys have heard this, but I'll just share it because maybe there's one person in this room who hasn't heard the story. And it was in this season where I knew I wasn't meant to sell carpet forever. Shocker. I was building my little health and fitness network marketing business. It was probably around the time that. It's so funny that there's very significant women in the room for me. Taylor, who's here, we used to have this. I don't know why we started it, but we had matching shirts that said Friday. And we used to get together at my house on Friday in our matching Friday shirts, and we would just talk about the big dreams that we were actively working toward. The one I was doing is I was writing a book at the time. And you don't realize, but there was something I probably heard on a podcast or at some point that you said and you, you might have even been quoting someone else. But I just had you anchored into my mind as the person who I give credit for reminding me that done is better than perfect. And when I was in this season, I was very clear that there was a lot more for me. And it felt like physically painful. I feel like a lot of my stories are like, what happens when you aren't willing to lean into that, that discomfort and go that extra step beyond where you would normally go. Like, how far can you take it? How, how many more times are you willing to show up and fly to Toronto and fund your own photo shoot? Not knowing what's going to happen is I would sit and think about buying the plane ticket and think about I would overthink writing the message, so I just would never do it. And I had a lot of that and it just started to eat away at me. And it was in this season that, you know, I had my podcast equipment collecting dust. I had bought it a few years earlier and just again had all the excuses for why I never started that. And really all it was, I think I was afraid to be seen. I was afraid to be seen imperfectly. And I just had a lot of self doubt. I think it is really hard to put yourself out there when you are your own worst critic. And a lot of what makes me successful is I have really high standards. And a lot of what holds me back is I have really high standards, standards for myself at all times. And I was on Facebook one day and I see an acquaintance post something about a program she's doing to help entrepreneurs get their message out in the form of a book. And I still have the screenshot to this day. I DM'd her saying, I don't know why I'm messaging you, but something in me remember what I said before about always being guided? Said something in me said, hey, you should do that. And that DM led to a short phone call, led to me handing this woman $2,000 to join a program that she was going to help me write a book. And I had a lot of evidence for why I wasn't a writer. I had this cute little blog some of you've heard of, none of you have read called Love Lindsay. And it was, the branding was pink and purple like Lisa Frank pink and purple. Because that's all I could afford was someone like, who's in My BNI networking group to put it together. And because I didn't have the confidence to tell her I hated it, I was like, yeah, that's great. So couldn't tell.

She scared me again.

I hope she's not listening to this, but she scared me. She was very scary. I was like, no, it's great. It's good. Because she was sure it was good. And I published one article per year and no one read them because I never shared it. So now I sign up for this program and say, okay, I'm gonna write a book. I couldn't even get myself to publish a 500 word blog. And now I decided I'm gonna write a book. But what was so powerful for me in that season, number one, I signed up for this mentorship program. So there was accountability, there was structure. I was showing up every week. Not only did I have my friya bestie who would sit with me and we would talk about all these big things we were gonna do, and I would show up to these zoom calls that had me confront week after week, all the. That held me back. Because as someone who has really high standards, that's a nice way of saying I'm a perfectionist or I have perfectionist tendencies. That's what I don't actually claim any of this. It's not me. That's just part of what I. That's a learned behavior. I'm not a perfectionist. Like, who my soul is is not a perfectionist. I just learn that for whatever reason, I thought I had to be perfect. And so on these calls, we would have to show up and we would have to read out loud a thousand words that we wrote in front of people who would judge them. And they were always very kind and very encouraging. It was so annoying. And every week I remember feeling physically ill because I was overcoming so much of the conditioning that had kept me stuck and kept me in a life that on the surface looked really great. Even the minivan version, right? People back home were like, lindsay moved to Phoenix. She got out of Wisconsin. I didn't post. I mean, there wasn't Instagram back then. So I wasn't posting pictures of my minivan. Would you have posted maybe? Yeah, I was pretty proud of it. I mean, it was free gas. Yeah. A free car and free gas. Listen, that's big. And you could hit the button and all the doors would open. Just saying, don't knock it till you try it. But here I am in, you know, years later, committed to writing this book. And then I will never Forget the day that I had decided I was going to quit and I was going to be a woman about it. I was at least going to show up to the call and tell them because that felt like the personal development version of me. That's what I should do. And I remember showing up to the call and I had my thousand words written that I was gonna have to read that day. Cause I was gonna tell him at the end of the call. You know, it's like as we signed off, I was gonna be like, by the way, and I read the thousand words and someone that day broke down in tears and was like, I needed to hear that because I was gonna quit today. And I was like, I was gonna quit today, stealing my thunder. And I. Something came over me where it was like this almost this out of body experience where I came could zoom out and I could. I could see the perspective of almost like my higher self or that part of you that knows the deeper part of you that is prompting you to take that next big step to keep showing up for the scary thing. And it was like, I just want to remind you that you already know what this story looks like if you quit now. And I thought about the podcast equipment collecting dust. I thought about all the things that I had started and never quite quite finished or never quite launched. And it was just this awareness that, number one, I wasn't actually doing this for me. I wasn't didn't sign up to write the book, to become some famous author. I was doing it because I really did want to serve. That feeling inside of me I knew was a sign that there was something I was supposed to do with this message I wanted to share. And. And then I remembered, like, wait, I do. I already know how this feels and how horrible this feels to start something and then stop out of fear. And I just decided, okay, I'm gonna go one more week. And then one more week after that, and then one more week after that. And I'll never forget then I got to the point where I had written a whole book and. And then I realized people were gonna read it, which was actually the most horrifying part of the journey because it was the part where I was now gonna have to confront being seen and I didn't have an audience. So people, if you're kind of just entering the chat right now, you know, we've grown the powerhouse women in Instagram. I have more of a personal Instagram. I had no ins. I don't think. I had barely an Instagram, if any. I Had a Facebook audience who had kind of grown this health and fitness journey with me, but I was about to, like, come out of the closet and be like, I want to talk about personal development. What do you want to listen? Wasn't popular.

It was not popular.

And. And I really was. I was just regurgitating stuff that I had heard other people say. And I knew it, but at the same time, I felt like I was supposed to share it. And I'll never forget hitting publish on this little Facebook group that I called the Powerhouse Posse. Again, follow me for marketing tips and just to. I individually messaged 100 women that I knew and said, hey, I did a thing. I wrote a book. I couldn't even get myself to put it out there publicly to, like, the whole Internet. I was like, I'll just tell a hundred people in this Facebook group. And I'll never forget the day it published. Those people started to share. People in my life started to kind of catch on. And I remember, like, my fourth grade reading teacher, Mrs. Reineck, posted on Facebook, I didn't even know she was still alive, much less on Facebook, because she was. She was quite. She was quite advanced in age when I was in fourth grade. And so now I want to. Was 20. Now I was 33.

Probably 30 when you were young.

You know, it's like when you see now that, like, the golden girls were actually 40. And I'm like, wait, I am 40. Hold on.

What?

And. And just kind of had this moment where, number one, I realized, wait. If I had realized all this support was waiting for me when I was stuck in my fear, I think it would have helped me get out of my own way a lot faster. That's ultimately what inspired the community that was born out of that little book. The book was called Powerhouse Woman, Just one. And I published it. And I was like, wow, we hit, like, Amazon bestseller. Which really just means you get a bunch of people to buy it all at once. Just everyone, you know, just at one time. And then 10 seconds, you're an Amazon bestseller. And then it drops.

Screenshot that shit.

You screenshot it? And then I do. Well, yeah, my. Well, this is a little bit polarizing now, but my book was number two ahead of Ivanka Trump's book in. This was like 20, 2016. And so I still have that screenshot, but I don't really share that anymore.

So popular.

But then I get a phone call from my. My publisher, my editor and publisher, and I was like, she's calling to congratulate me. Let me be Humble. So I answer, and. And she. And I said, hello. And she goes, lindsay, I'm sick to my stomach. And I said, why? What did you have? Some weird Brazilian food for lunch? What? What's going on? And she said, I can't believe we didn't catch it, but there's a typo on the COVID Now, this woman has a PhD in English. I, before I sold carpet, was a fourth grade spelling bee champion. So the fact that we missed a very obvious typo in the subtitle, everyone always asks, what was it? The word fulfill had too many Ls, which is funny because now my Instagram handle, I had to add an extra L's. I'm so full. And. And we missed it. And it was like this moment that I wish I could have laughed that much at that time. That would have been, see, I needed you in my life at that time. Just. It's a mouthful. It really is.

We'll know when we're really happy in life. When we go back to that.

When we go back to that. There's probably. Well, now there's at least 200 copies in the world that are a collector's edition. We did eventually get it fixed. You have one. You think so? You just might. It'll be worth tens of dollars someday. But I remember in the moment. So when we go back to the actual transformation in that moment, that was the moment where a previous version of me would have stopped everything. I would have pulled back. I would have been so embarrassed. I mean, that might not be the end of the world to some people, but to me, that was like, I just did the scariest thing I could ever imagine doing, and I failed publicly. Not that anyone, like everyone didn't notice there was a typo, but it was like I knew. And then you think it's like when you have a zit and you think everyone is just talking directly to yours. It. And in that moment, I think I had this awareness where I remembered all the times when I got over the cute quit, where I was. I was really trying to talk myself out of doing it in the first place. And I kept going and remembered the mantra that I learned from Lori, Done is better than perfect. And again, it's either all for me and it's all part of the bigger plan, or none of it is. And I was like, okay, what if I just let this play out? And what if I just trust that maybe for some reason, people needed to see me do this imperfectly so they could do their thing imperfectly and see that they're not going to die. And that little book, which really was little, I didn't sell that many copies. I didn't have a big audience. Went on to inspire this little event called Powerhouse Women. And that event, seven years later, we just had 800 women in the room from all over the world. And it's never lost on me that all of that, like, sitting here with you today, having finally a damn podcast called Powerhouse Women. All of this very well could not exist because I really. Everything in me at that point, wanted to pull the plug because I was facing everything in me that really thought other people could do it imperfectly and be okay, but not me. That wasn't for me. I really thought it had to be perfect if I was going to put myself out there.

I love hearing that story because we always, like, that's the hesitation before we do anything is either someone's doing it better than me, or does this look like, you know, you just feel like it's just like a giant mess. And the thing is, is if we can just. What you want to do is to learn how to get past that faster. Like, put more messy things out quicker because. And just know that if it's out there and something happens, like, nothing can take you down and everything is for you. Like, truly think of someone who has been canceled beyond belief. Like, let's even think of even what happened with, like, Will Smith, like, a little bit later, he was in a movie again. We were all like, oh, man, he's probably done right. Like, no, he's in a movie again and he's back out in the world. And just using that as an example for thinking of anyone that you're like, oh, that's real bad. Like, they come back. Nobody can take you down for long. Yes, it might take you down, but it's actually gonna take you down a path of complete reinvention. And the faster that you can move through it yourself. I don't believe that you're gonna have. Have to get the messages as harsh if you can just put yourself out there quicker today. This is hilarious. Which I don't really have a perfectionist thing, but I just find it really funny. I think it's God continuing to be like, you better keep laughing at yourself, like, nonstop. I went on our friend's podcast. That's a pretty good podcast. It's Dr. Amy Shaw's podcast. And I get there and do the podcast, and it's awesome, and we're having fun, and I kind of feel like the guys there are not making eye Contact with me. And I was like, it's kind of weird. I'm usually really funny and people like me. I get home, which is not a long drive from this podcast studio, maybe six minutes, And I get home, and I sit at the table, and Chris is doing a strategy session with our friend Aisha. And I'm, like, sitting there, and they're asking me for some advice, and I'm talking about something. And Chris looks at him. He goes, I'm so sorry. I can't even take you serious, because this whole time, you have the biggest bat in the cave I've ever seen. Like, a giant booger, potentially through the whole podcast. Lindsey. So I have a text going out to Amy, going, going, did we just film this the entire time? Because I'm pretty sure no one was making eye contact with me. And are you really my friend?

So anyway, you failed the test. I immediately checked to make sure you didn't have one.

Now text her and be like, what kind of friend are you? Like, this is because it was on camera the whole time. But anyway, the reason that I say that is, like, I really think the universe will keep saying to you, how much can you laugh at yourself?

Yeah.

Like, oh, you got on this fancy schmance podcast.

Cool.

Here's a booger.

Here's a booger.

And so I just, like, do it on your own. Laugh at yourself on your own. Because truly, it will. It will continue to do that. And I think the more fun that you can have. It's just life gets funny after that.

Because painful for me.

You cannot. You cannot.

It's hor.

It's horrible.

I don't like any of this.

We're going to shed vice. You're like, I'm so uncomfortable right now.

I'm sweating.

Do I have a booger?

Here you go. Thanks.

Okay, so I want to go into kind of our last, like, where we're at right now, just like, what is. What is going on in our life right now as far as the belief that we're holding? We don't have to go too much into the story, but maybe a belief that's just kind of really feels like the overarching message of right now.

What's your.

Yours? Mine is everything is happening for me. And I know that I mentioned it before, but truly, I cannot tell you how much I am clear that everything that's coming that's hard right now and that feels challenging is simply to allow me to work, to become the woman that I envision in my head. And every obstacle, every Challenging email. Every moment that I feel like, oh, my gosh, does someone upset with me? And they're not, and that I don't text them back. Freaking out and trying to get a quick hit of dopamine, like, are you mad? Like, doing all of those reactive things. I'm working so hard to not be reactive and to realize that everything is happening for me and it doesn't have to be fixed right now. And it's okay if someone doesn't like you. It's okay if something didn't work out. It's okay if you said something stupid. You don't have to go and send 50 texts and make sure it's all good. Especially if you're in a place where you're really working on great friends. Like, all of that is okay. Which means it kind of goes back to what I originally had said. Like, at the end of the day, it all has to be that I'm okay with me, and that will make everything else go all right. You know, if my business is falling apart, right? Like, what will people think of me? What will if I'm having a major challenge? It's just all of these things that we spiral into that take you away from the main objective, which is to get through it. God's just like. Like, yo, you don't need to do all that. Like, you can just work hard to get through it and validate yourself and lean on me and stop thinking about everyone else. And so that's really where I'm at right now.

I know. And we're sharing so many of the similar themes. So if I were to add something on top of that, I'm trying to think of even how to put it into words. I feel part of it's hard because I'm, like, in it right now. It's kind of like when I think of the movie Twister, like, when they're in the middle of the tornado, like, you see everything moving really fast, and, you know, there's, like, a lot of chaos, but you can't see it clearly yet because you're still in the middle of it. So the biggest thing it's reflecting back to me is just that, that everything externally, if I'm willing, again, it's either 100% this or 0% this. It's all reflecting back to me exactly what's in the way. And sometimes it's not what I want to see. Some. Like, lately, a lot of what I've been wrestling with is just. Just how much this need for control over things really limits me how much my need to be right really limits me. And I am very right in my own perspective of the world. But so is, like, if it's in a situation with another person, so are they. And just to realize that Both can be 100% right and true for each individual standing in the shoes that they're in. And I can spend all of my energy trying to convince others of how right I am. And that's energy that could be spent building my dreams. And there's just a lot right now that's kind of fighting to keep me in a place where my energy is not focused on building my dreams, which tells me that I'm probably getting dangerously close to a really big breakthrough. And again, whatever you want to believe, whatever context you see this through. I just think that every single time I look back and I had a quantum leap where, from the outside, people are like, where did she come from? It was preceded by something that felt like the most intense pressure of my life. And I've actually never felt pressure like I feel right now in terms of just so many of the things that I thought I was building my identity on crumbled. So I could see that my identity was never in those things in the first place. And that actually is a point of freedom, but it can also be a point of, holy shit, I'm scared. What do I do now? And there have been those moments, and I. I think I'm really learning how to hold space for myself and feel all the feelings completely all the way through, have the moment this morning where I couldn't ignore that, like, some emotion needed to come out so that I could. It wasn't like I rushed it through. I actually had other. I had a to do list, but the to do list got set aside so I could just feel everything that was asking to be felt right at that moment and then be clear to reevaluate what needed to happen from there. And it's just been this interesting. That's. That's the part that's really breaking my need for control, because I actually created crazy momentum today by not doing anything that was on that to do list. And it still kind of fucks with my brain because I. I just really am sure that I need to, like, do X, Y, Z in order to produce results. And I'm just in it. I'm in this lesson that I'm so excited to explore more because I just think it's showing me another way of operating. It's showing me my power, the internal power that, yes, of course, there's action that's necessary. But it starts with my energy, and it starts with my presence. And it starts with me getting clear of everything that's in the way of me showing up as that most powerful magnetic version of myself. And I keep laughing like, we did this expanders retreat. Some of the women in the room were there in March, and I had no idea what I was calling in. I mean, I called in the most intense expansion of my life. But a year from now, I can't wait to sit here with all of you and tell you what happened and really get to put context to the part that I'm navigating right now. Because it's still. I'm still in it. But it is the most profound transformation I've ever been through. And I also wouldn't wish it on anyone.

I think that's. It's so important for us to hear that because everybody's navigating. And something I really picked up on with you saying that was just whenever you speak, I'm like, oh, that's right. Like, you're so good with being able to drop us into, like, oh, what do we do in these moments? And something that I got from what you just said was, you know, when we're in it, like, it feels like we have so much to do and it's so hard. And there's this big list of to dos and we have to get through this and how am I going to piece this together? And I think the conversation is. It's hard right in our heads. This is hard. This is a lot. And I'm watching you because I'm watching you navigate things right now. And it's like, like, okay, asking for, could this be easier? And like, God, whatever you believe in God, show me a different way. Like, show me how this could be easier. Put someone in my life. That could make this easier. And I think even the thought of that right now, like, even when I was thinking about it, because I. I'm feeling the other way that I had just said in my life. When I'm thinking about, like, saying the prayer or doing the meditation, I literally have these moments of, duh. Those are the things that have worked for you in the past. What makes you think as you've transitioned into something else? Because there is a story that is out there about being a female founder and having a product, and you're gonna have to risk your. Or, you know, let go of some of your health or your relationships or whatever that is. Like, I don't wanna buy into that story. I'm working really hard to not buy into that. And the only way to do that is to stop it and go, God, what's another way? Or like, like show me another way. And giving yourself the space to meditate and drop in, which is. We're on kind of a bit of a challenge right now that we just started like a week ago. We have to listen to something either like abundant or a meditation or something that puts us back into like, oh yeah, life is very abundant. This is going to happen easily. This can happen super easy. And that's been really, really helping. Just go, yeah, it doesn't have to be that way. And ask for what you need and you'll find it.

I'm so grateful. Thanks for being one of those people that anytime I need to be reminded of my own power, even if I need to sit and cry first, it's just being in your presence is that reminder. And I think that's why we all crave community. I think it's why community is so important if we're committing to this journey of self development. Because it comes with these pressure points that are, they really are transforming you. And I don't think you are meant to go through them alone. I don't think you're supposed to be able to see your way through alone. And it's just been so much fun to. Even the shitty parts are fun with you.

It is. Do it together, you guys. Like this has been. I have a lot of women in here and you in my life who've just been so transformative. And I saw a quote the other day, it said, community is how you become consistent. We will let ourselves down, but we won't let our best girlfriends down. So the closer you get to somebody who is doing the do you don't want to let them down. And I think that's one of the most powerful, transformative relationships. So I'm so grateful for you.