My Drug-Addict Friend Was Locked In A Psych Ward For 13 Days

When did you go to rehab?

Rehab? Wow, which one?

First time.

First time. First time at rehab was 2013. Drive. You hold the brace the whole way through. And breath.

Yeah, I try to. Yeah, yeah, intra-abdominal pressure and keeps that stability by holding the breath.

Yeah, first—

how many times have you been to rehab?

Twice.

Twice.

First rehab was 2013. Yep, it was an amazing place to meet some contacts, um, a bit of networking and that kind of thing.

What do you mean networking for?

Yeah, well, you got to be careful, those places, they have some amazing outcomes But then they also have— you're surrounded by a lot of kind of bad people as well that are on the other side of the law.

And so the contacts that you met there weren't good influences?

Well, to me then, if you asked me, they were good. But when I look back now, no, not really. So look, I did get sober for a period of time, probably a couple months. Um, but it wasn't really the, um, it wasn't the thing that kind of turned it around for me. The second rehab in 2016 was the one where I was able to kind of meet all my dark demons and work through a lot of the trauma and shit.

So you struggled— would it be fair to say you struggled with this for what— well, just that when, when the— I suppose the drugs start The drugs started, uh, probably in my late teens.

Um, yeah, I was never really into drugs at an early age, but when I went— got out of school, I was in a very kind of Australian school. Is it my turn?

It's your turn. Weakest always goes first.

Yeah, that's right.

Sure, this is still warm up. 1, 2, bit more control, 3, there you go, 4, try and straighten the elbows at the end, 5, 6, you got 8 here, this is still warmer, good, 2 more, 1 more, 1 more, 1 more, just do 8, we're not going to count that as a working set.

What was your question? When did I get into that?

Yeah, when did the drugs start for you?

Probably when I was about 18, 19. So I grew up in an Aussie school. I was very kind of, um, I suppose introverted, very passionate about nature and wildlife and animals. At a young age, I wanted to be a herpetologist, which is a study of reptiles and amphibians.

That makes so much fucking sense now.

I didn't know that. Um, so I was out, and we grew up as well in North Warrandyte, which is bush everywhere. So I was out running amok in nature. Um, and then when I turned 18, got out of school, I wanted to follow my dreams. I got into biological science, but then I met a lot more people that were more culturally similar to me. And so I started going out a lot more into the club, into the nightlife.

When you say culturally similar to you, what do you mean?

Well, I was in an Australian school and I was raised, my dad is Serbian and my mother was Dutch. So it was very like, you know, I was hanging out with Aussie kids. I had lots of friends, but culturally it was very different as well. So when I got into La Trobe University in Bandura, there were Wogs, Arabs, everything there. And culturally, I think it felt a lot warmer, connected. I felt like I had a family that maybe I didn't feel like I had growing up as much so, so to speak. And so I really connected with a lot of people there, but then I started going out and exploring the nightlife and women and that kind of thing, and that's where I started dabbling in drugs.

6 reps. This should still be— this should probably be our last warm-up. Yep. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. No pains?

Nah, feels good.

Good. So yeah, so from that, like, then that you got exposed to drugs, but like, was that circle like drug dealers? Were they not really at that stage, or was it just like the gateway of—

look, I suppose it was a progression. It just started enjoying the nightlife and then networking and meeting others, and then before you know it, I was a promoter. Um, working at clubs, and then I was a host, having my own board of promoters at some of the biggest clubs in Melbourne back in the day. And then I suppose you start connecting with other people around drugs and that kind of thing. And, um, yeah, using, selling, whatever it may be.

So when you went to the rehab though, it wasn't enough of a wake-up call for you to get clean completely? Like, how long was it before you— you went to rehab 2013, and what, as soon as you get out, were you using again?

You know, look, I was somewhat coming back with an idea of being able to manage myself and manage my substance use, so to speak, which didn't really last that long. Yeah.

So you didn't get out thinking, I'm going to be clean. You got out thinking, I'll just use a little bit.

I got out thinking I was going to be clean for a period of time, but not with a real strict focus on turning my life around, just to kind of give myself a break, so to speak. This is also after the time I had a psychosis. I got locked up.

Was that 2013?

Yeah, that was 2000 and probably 2012 to 2013, somewhere around there, right? And I got locked up at Austin Hospital for 13 days in the psychiatric ward, which was a very scary time and a scary place. It's actually one of the most scariest things.

Well, I've got a question on that, but get yourself set up here. Yep. 1, 2, stay tighter, 3. 4, 5, 6. Gotcha. Very good. So you said it was one of my scariest times.

That was scary, yeah.

What— how does one bounce back from psychosis?

And you know, how does one bounce back from a psychosis?

I'm guessing it was a drug-induced psychosis.

Well, it's funny you should say that. It was considered a drug-induced psychosis, but for that period of time I hadn't had drugs for quite some time. I think it was more induced by sleep deprivation, right? Um, but tomatoes, tomatoes, tomatoes, you know, it's, um, hard to say exactly. The fact is that I went into it and, um, almost didn't come out of it, right? Very scary place. And once you're kind of institutionalized like that and you're fed more, um, psych— antipsychotic drugs and that kind of thing.

Yeah, it is.

It can be really hard to come out of. I turned to my mom, I said, I've had enough of this, I'm ready, I want to get sober. And she said to me, Luke, if you're serious about this, 100% serious, you can come to me, we'll have a chat, and we'll start the process. And I went to her, um, that day at her house. I was living by myself with my dog at that moment. And I had a chat to her and she told me I could detox at her house. She didn't know what I was detoxing from. Um, I laugh about it now, but back then it was quite crazy. So I started the detox. The first night I was there, I started getting paranoid, almost falling into another psychosis at night. I couldn't sleep. Um, and I ended up— I realized something was going on physiologically in my body So I got up and I went to my brother's room and I just dropped in front of his door. I fell into his door, dropped on the ground, started going into a seizure. And then woke up maybe 12 minutes later to the ambos. Yeah, kind of resuscitating me, getting me back kind of thing. I was foaming and everything like that. And I remember waking up and seeing my mum and brother looking down on me. And in that moment, that was it. I knew that was my rock bottom.

Right.

So I was in there for 13 days.

Yeah.

And then I went back home, stayed at my dad's house for a period of time. And I think it was, yeah, 3, 4 months until I slowly really kind of regained reality and reconnected. You want to lift off? Yes, please.

Drive up, up, drive up. Good.

Yeah, so that was a really scary time.

Was there something— you're in this deep hole, and that wasn't rock bottom yet. We'll get to rock bottom, but you're in this deep hole. Was there something calling to you on the other side of that deep hole of the psychosis? So you're in this, you know, I don't know, are you questioning what's the point of life at that point? Why do I keep going? Was there something on the other side that you like got an inkling of, I need to keep going?

Um, there wasn't at any moment in that stage, and I'd been through dark days in the past where, you know, moments of, you know, contemplating suicide as such, whether how close I was to it or not, I don't know. But not necessarily wanting to be here. And that wasn't really a moment. It was more just trying to kind of regain reality, I suppose, and get back in touch with what's real. And extreme fear and confusion. It's essentially hearing, seeing, imagining things that aren't there, that they are there, and I don't know, like even today looking back at that, and I don't necessarily say that everything I experienced was a delusion or not real. I may have also kind of been seeing things that on a frequency we're unable to see on a normal day. And I was getting in access to that. I don't know. But at the end of the day, I'm very happy that I came back from that. It was scary. It wasn't the last time as well. I ended up going into almost another psychosis down the track when I, uh, the last time I, before I got sober.

When, before we move into the next time you went to rehab, what, when you say there's access to things that you can see, yeah, what do you mean by that?

Um, what I mean is that I think the way we interpret our reality right now is only to a level of understanding that we can necessarily comprehend, any normal person out there. Um, and I think there's a lot of different things that might be happening all around us at the same time, and we might just not be on the frequency to pick up those things. Um, and so I think people that may get into that zone where they disconnect from reality and they experience different experiences, um, who are we to say what's real and what's not?

Yeah, I guess when you say different experiences, when you say different experiences, you're talking about different emotional feelings, states, or you're getting information from the world around us that wasn't accessible before? Because obviously we're always editing things, there's so much happening around us.

Probably a mixture of all of it, and even seeing certain things you know, different things which might be there or might not be there.

Um, yeah, 8 reps. Good. Keep that rib cage stacked.

1, 2.

Good. Just use your elbows. 4. Good. 5, 6. Good. Come on, Timo, man. 7. And 8. Very good.

The rib cage was a bit better.

It is a lot better. It's a lot better. It was a lot better. So a few— 3 years lapse. 2013, I opened up Enterprise. 2000— we're 3 years in now.

So that was the year you opened up Enterprise?

Yeah, 2013.

Wow.

Yeah, March. Yeah, opened up Enterprise 2013 in March.

Yeah, it's just one street.

Now we're 3 years on.

Yeah, so for me, before that, the period between the first time I went to rehab and the second, I was, um, somewhat on a steady downward spiral, hanging with the wrong people, living on my own. I was living with my dog and hanging with the wrong crowd, doing the wrong things. And yeah, I just slowly— go, Mark, push. Yeah, I slowly kind of more and more began losing myself to drugs, alcohol, whatever I could get my hands on, becoming kind of paranoid again and distant from everyone, family, friends, and whatever, isolating myself. And then towards the end, I always had my mum in my life. My mum was an alcoholic when I was younger. She was an incredible mother when I was sober, when she was sober. Um, but the times when she would drink, she would turn into another person. And so when I was 17, 18, she got sober. And so in my adult life, she'd been sober for then, by that stage, maybe 15 years. But she was still in my life with my brother, um, and that last straw was she kind of kicked me out of her life. She said, I can't do this anymore, you're on your own. And I think that was one of the best things that she did for me And yeah, I just kind of slowly declined after that period. And I turned to my mom, I said, I've had enough of this. I'm ready. I want to get sober. And she said to me, Luke, if you're serious about this, 100% serious, you can come to me, we'll have a chat, and we'll start the process. And I went to her that day at her house. I was living by myself with my dog at that moment. And I had a chat to her and she told me I could detox at her house. She didn't know what I was detoxing from. Um, I laugh about it now, but back then it was quite crazy. So I started the detox. The first night I was there, I started getting paranoid, almost falling into another psychosis. At night I couldn't sleep, and I ended up— I realized something was going on physiologically in my body. So I got up and I went to my brother's room and I just dropped in front of his door. I fell into his door, dropped on the ground, started going into a seizure, and then woke up maybe 12 minutes later to the ambos, yeah, kind of resuscitating me, getting me back kind of thing. I was foaming and everything like that. And I remember waking up and seeing my mum and brother looking down on me. And in that moment, that was it. I knew that was my rock bottom.

Right.