Who are your energy thieves?

7 Apr 2026 · 1 min

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In this short conversational segment, Matt Cooke and Speaker B discuss the concept of "energy thieves"—people who drain personal energy. Matt emphasizes that protecting one's energy is a top priority for him and his wife. He explains that some energy thieves are close relationships, while others are more distant and easier to cut out. They use a simple heuristic: does a person fill up or deplete your energy tank? Matt describes how to assess interactions, such as dinner conversations that feel exhausting versus balanced exchanges. To guard against energy theft, he recommends rehearsing responses before potentially triggering situations, visualizing an "energy bubble" to filter out negativity, and allowing unwanted input to pass through "one ear and out the other." He also stresses the importance of regular check‑ins with trusted partners to monitor energy levels.

Most important thing my wife and I do is protect our energy from energy thieves.
Ooh, I love this. Yeah. Defend your energy. From energy thieves. Yeah.
Some of those thieves are your nearest and dearest. Some of them aren't. The ones that aren't are easier to cut out. Let's be brutal.
Yeah.
You know, and Coruscant and I tend to say, does this person fill up our energy tank? Or deplete it?
Yeah. Yes.
Yes. Is it the type of conversation where you go out for dinner and all you've done the whole night is listen to their life?
Yeah.
And you come out going, that was exhausting. Or actually, was it 50/50 where they asked you questions and you asked them and it tended to be this like sort of filling up of each other's energy tank? When we go into an environment where we know we might be triggered or we know we might like, someone might steal our energy, we just rehearse first. Okay, this person typically does this that annoys me, so I'm going to rehearse ahead of the event how I'm going to be in that moment. I know it's going to happen. I'm going to allow it in through one ear and out the other, or I'm going to imagine like an energy bubble around me and I'm going to walk in there and protect that energy. And it's— we check in all the time.