How to Build Client and Candidate Relationships That Make You Impossible to Replace

I have clients I've worked with for over a decade. Some of them have been with me since literally the first year that I set up my agency. And they've been through management changes, restructures, periods where they weren't hiring at all. And they always came back. Not because I have the biggest database. I'm definitely not the cheapest because at some point we stopped being just a recruiter and a client, that kind of relationship. And we became something closer to friends who just also happen to do business together. And I want to show you this in this video about how this actually happens and why it's probably a super high leverage thing that you can do in your own recruitment desk or business. And it's arguably more valuable than automation and probably better than a bigger lead list and better than any tool that you're going to hire. Because when you get it right, what happens is candidates call you before they upload their CV anywhere else and clients, they end up calling you before they post a job anywhere. And the moment someone else approaches them, It almost feels wrong, a bit like going to a different barber or a hairdresser. And that's what we're building. So let's start with what the relationship is actually supposed to do, because I think most recruiters are aiming at the wrong target. Most recruiters are trying to build a relationship with a candidate or a client so that they have a vacancy or a person that responds or a candidate they can represent. And that's the goal. And honestly, it's not wrong. It's just very small, short-minded. And the goal I want you to aim for is this. You want to be in contact with every candidate and every client before they need you, not when they need you, but before. So I just want you to think about what happens when you reach someone who is already in the market. They've maybe already spoken to 2 or 3 other recruiters. They've got options. You're one of many. And now you have to earn their trust while they're already evaluating basically competing offers. And now I want you to compare that with Reaching someone 3 months before they're ready to move. They haven't spoken to anyone. They're not in an evaluation mode. They're just having a conversation. And when they do eventually decide to move, they're not going to call around. They're going to call you because you're already in their head. You already built the relationship and going somewhere else at that point would feel almost like betrayal. And that's why we maintain contact with every single candidate every 90 days, not when they're available or on schedule, just whether they're available or not. It doesn't matter. You don't want to speak to them when they upload their CV. You want to speak to them before they even think about uploading their CV. Those are 2 completely different conversations. And the rule that makes this possible is actually very simple. It's just not what most recruiters end up doing. You want to speak to them before they even think about going anywhere else. Not when they're already in the market. And the rule is this, you talk about everything except recruitment. Not always, not never, but the majority of your contact with your clients and candidates should have less to do with vacancies. Ask them about their family, ask them about their kids. If you're into cars like me, ask them what they drive, where they go on holiday, what they do outside of work. And when they answer, you remember it. And next time you speak to them, you ask them about that thing. Relationship building lesson 101. The last time that we spoke, you said that your daughter had some exams. How did they go? You mentioned you were going to Portugal on holiday for the summer. How was it? Was it good? It sounds really small. It isn't, because what it signals to the person on the other end is that you actually listened, that you cared enough to remember that. And it doesn't matter if the only way that you remembered is because you left a note on your CRM. Because from their perspective, they're not just another record that you have to call. They're a person that you genuinely know. I work in a highly technical niche. The candidates I represent are degree-qualified engineers with 100 different agencies that are chasing them at any given moment. And when one of my team members calls them and says, how's your wife? How's your kids? How's the new house? They answer because nobody else is asking them. And when you talk about everything but recruitment, you become the recruiter that they want to talk to, not the one they have to deal with. And I want to give you 2 real examples because I think this one is one of those things that is easier to understand through a story rather than an explanation. I sent a client memes about family life for about 2 years on WhatsApp every couple of weeks, and he responded every single time. We'd built a relationship over a long period of working together, and at some point our conversation stopped being mainly about recruitment and started being about all the other things— life, family, the pressure of running a business. And we'd had a proper conversation, and then at the end we just knew that whatever else we wanted from each other, whether it was work-related, it would just sort itself out. And then when something funny came up that I knew he'd appreciate, I just send it to him. Not a vacancy, not a follow-up email, just something that made me think of him. And a meme, a stupid video, like something that fit the ongoing joke that we had between us. And he told me one time that he was in the middle of the office and he got one of these messages and he started laughing out so loud that everyone else was just wondering what the hell's going on. And that's not a client anymore. That's someone who, when they have a vacancy, isn't going to call anyone else. The second one, I had a longstanding working relationship with a client, worked with her for years. And I found out that she was using another agency. So I just called her and I said, I heard you've been talking to other men. As awkward as that sounds like, she just responded with, excuse me? And I said, I thought I was the only recruiter that you talked to. And she obviously started laughing. And we still work together today. That joke only works because of 6 years worth of working relationship. You can't do that on the first call. So please don't. But by the end of year 6, it lands perfectly because she knows exactly who I am and what I mean. And that call reminded her of why she valued the relationship in the first place as well. And then the memes and the jokes and the questions about family, that's not small talk. That's retention, to give it a business definition. When they feel that comfortable with you, they don't go anywhere else. Like those phone calls when a client or a candidate calls you to say, hey, can I get your view or your thought or your opinion on something? They are the Best cause ever. And then there are moments that go even further than the jokes, the ones that build something that you can't replicate with any other tool. I called a client once and he told me that he couldn't talk. Sad news, his mother was in hospital and it wasn't looking good. I left it. I said no problem. I called him back a few weeks later and I asked how things were. He told me that his mum had passed away. I didn't have a vacancy to discuss. I didn't have a candidate to pitch. I just expressed that I remembered and that I was sorry and that I was thinking of him. And I still think about that sometimes because that conversation, not because it was strategic, but because it was real. And there's another one. This one's a little bit different. My wife was in labor and one of my longstanding clients just kept calling and my phone was on loud. I do not recommend that. But client just wanted to get through to me. When baby arrived, who's now just over 10 years old, I basically sent them a picture of my son and just said, this is why I couldn't answer. And The client called me later saying that, you know, that actually just changed like how we work with each other because it was the most human thing that I could have done. The client is still on my desk and working with us in our business now, 11 years later. We still reference that conversation sometimes. And those moments aren't something that you can automate. They're not something that you can systemize. It's what you can do only if you care. And when something personal comes up in a conversation, You pay attention to it and you follow it up. Because when someone knows that you remember their mum, their kid, that conversation that they had when their world was difficult, you're not a recruiter anymore. You're someone that they trust. And that trust is the foundation of every placement you'll ever make. So you become memorable when you talk about everything but work. You become irreplaceable when you're still there when things get really hot. Now, just a quick heads up. I'm actually growing my recruitment business. I'm looking to hire recruiters. So if you are an employed recruiter and you're making $200K plus in revenue, take a look at my LinkedIn profile, take a look at company website. If you feel like there's some kind of synergy, you could add value to our business and vice versa, then just contact me on LinkedIn because I'd love to have a conversation about hiring you. But there's also a couple of other ways that if you are serious about just setting up your own recruitment business and you would rather I just showed you how to do that, then I'll leave some details below in the description. And last but not least, if you are somewhere between 2 and 10 employees as a recruitment business, and you're thinking, you know what, I'm either going to part ways with my business partner, I'm going to close things down, or this is too much headache or grief, like, it's probably worth us having a conversation because it will probably be a more amicable close and a respectable close, certainly for you and for anybody else who might be involved if we took over the business. I'm not suggesting for any means like we just want everything handed over to us for free. But— a conversation about either a merger or even a buyout, I am open to that conversation because we are looking to grow into new areas. So especially if it's something to do with construction, the closer it is connected to what we already do, even bigger bonus applies to both recruiters looking for new employment. And, and also if you're interested in selling or having a conversation about an acquisition of your recruitment business. And if you're thinking about growing or scaling your own and you feel like I might be able to give you a hand, then video explainer below in the description. And if none of that is true, just carry on watching my videos. Feel free to send me a message on LinkedIn as well. I'm quite friendly. So let me just bring this back a minute and just explain what I was explaining before and just what it looks like day to day. Because I know the question is, how do you actually build this without it taking all of your time? And understand this, your barber understands this better than most people. And you got to give them credit for it. If you go to the same barber for years and the reason you go back Isn't only because they cut your hair well. It's because you sit down, they already know what you want. They ask how your family is. They remember you by name. They remember what you told them last time. And when you went somewhere else once, maybe out of desperation, and you walked back in the next month or week, they noticed. And then they said something. You probably never did it again. That's the relationship we want with clients and candidates. Now the practical side is this. First, make a list of the people in your database who you haven't spoken to for more than 90 days. Those are the people you need to go and basically reengage with. Okay. Not pitch them, just message them. Hey, how's it been? It's been a while. How are you keeping? That's it. It just restarts the conversation. They already know who you are. Don't need to introduce yourself again. And the second is when you're on the call with client or candidate and something personal comes up, Write it down. Their dog's name, their kids started school, the holiday that they mentioned, the team that they support, whatever it is. They didn't say it because it was just passing conversation. They said it because it was important to them. Put it in the CRM notes and use it next time. Feel free to ask them more questions about it. Can you tell me more about it? They are obviously excited and interested about it. That's why they mentioned it. So third thing, don't make every single contact about work. When a candidate gets a new job, Message them congratulations. When a client wins an award or announces something on LinkedIn, send them a note. When something funny comes up that you know it would probably make the client or the candidate laugh, just send it across to them. None of this is complicated, but it takes intention. And most recruiters are just too focused on the next outreach campaign to actually give any attention to the things that the people that they apparently care about are saying. So the goal is simple. You want to be someone that they'd have a coffee with. And if they were passing through your city or where you live or nearby, then they would probably message you and say, hey, do you want to meet up? That person isn't going anywhere else. And here's a question that always comes up. If you've built that kind of relationship and then a vacancy comes up from a client or candidate, what do you do? How do you handle it? It's very different. Yes, of course you contact them. In fact, you don't even have to ask for permission anymore. When you've built that kind of relationship, the transition to talking about a vacancy is completely natural because you've already established that they know what you do and they trust your judgment. And you know that if you're bringing something to them, it's worth them looking at. The way I think about it is like this. It's like a local coffee shop owner who decides to open up a car wash next door and you bring your car every week. If one day you show up with a freshly cleaned car, they're going to notice and they're going to say something on the lines of, you know, you have my coffee, why are you not using my car wash next door? And you're going to feel a bit uncomfortable. I know it's a bit of a far-fetched example, but you get the point. This is like a coffee shop that you go to all the time. They know you by name, they know your family, and they know everything about you, like family, friends, that kind of relationship. Okay. That's what it's like when you have a vacancy and you've built a relationship with somebody properly. When you bring it to them, They listen. And even if they're not interested right now, they'll probably know someone who is, and they'll send it on to them or introduce you to, because that's what friends do. So when they message you to go and get a coffee, you've won. You're no longer a recruiter trying to find candidates. You're someone that they already trust. And that changes every conversation from that point onwards. Now that said, I don't want to come across like I haven't like downplayed AI and automation. It's like, it's the big thing right now. Thankfully, I've actually been through the process of testing through a load of tools. So if you are in the process of like amplifying the speed at which you can build relationships with your clients and candidates, because a good recruiter knows that this industry is very relationship focused, then go and check out this video. I'll just explain to you all the tools that I've played around with. Hope it helps.