Nick StumboExecutive Director driving healing from sexual brokenness

A Difference In Sexual Drive is OKAY!

9 Sept 2026 · 1 min

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In this segment, Nick Stumbo explains that it is far more common for married couples to have mismatched levels of sexual desire than to be perfectly matched. He emphasizes that this disparity is normal and often shifts across different life seasons, sometimes even reversing. Rather than assigning blame or viewing one partner as right and the other as wrong, he advises couples to acknowledge the reality of their differing drives, communicate openly, and work together toward a mutually fulfilling sexual relationship without demanding the other to change to match personal expectations.

Chapters

The author just brought up that simple observation of the likelihood that you are in a marriage where one of you is a higher drive or higher desire partner than the other is the majority. It's common. They just said the likelihood that 2 equally matched people would marry is slim. And so rather than seeing it as a problem, just acknowledging like, hey, this is normal. It's normal that one wants it more than the other. And he even brought up in certain seasons of life that might flip-flop. And so rather than looking down at one or the other as one being right and one being wrong, just saying, hey, this is reality of where we're at, what's the best way for us to come together and as a married couple acknowledging this, do the best we can to really enter into a mutually fulfilling relationship and not get stuck in our corners of like, well, if you were only more like me, or no, if you only were only more like me, we'd be happy. Because that— I think a lot of couples get stuck in that.