Nick StumboExecutive Director driving healing from sexual brokenness

Helping Your Spouse Enjoy Sex More

10 Sept 2026 · 1 min

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In this monologue, the speaker shares a practical strategy for improving sexual intimacy in marriage by linking everyday chores to the mental space needed for sex. She describes a scenario where a pile of laundry on the couch creates a mental load that blocks desire. By explicitly asking her husband to help fold the laundry—framing it as something she finds sexy—they complete the task together, clear the mental to‑do list, and free up mental bandwidth for a positive sexual encounter. The anecdote illustrates how clear communication about household responsibilities, turning a mundane task into a shared, intimate activity, and reducing mental clutter can significantly enhance a couple’s sexual connection.

Chapters

you know, you have this pile of laundry that's on the couch and the kids are going to bed and your husband gives you that look like, hmm, I want sex. And I'm thinking, hmm. Start to pick up on the cues. I know. I have this huge couch of laundry to fold. And if I don't fold it tonight, it's gonna be waiting for me in the morning. And so I just got used to just saying out loud, you know what I think is really sexy is watching you fold laundry, you know? And so that then we would both fold laundry and then it's crossed off my list and my brain is free to engage in sex in, in this really positive way. But I think it did take learning those kind of things that, that these are my kind of where my brain is thinking, my responsibilities for today. But if you want to help me with that, and that frees me up to engage in sex, and, and that went a long way in our marriage. Yeah.