A person raised outside Christianity describes feeling like a dump truck overflowing with burdens, yet says God has met them in every messy place. They draw a parallel between death and present problems: both are transitions, not endings, because divine presence persists through them.
Chapters
And it was like, that's a big subject. You know, facing the end is a big subject. But I thought, but I've been through so much and God's always been there. Even when I didn't know it, even when I didn't know him, even when I was mad at him, even when I was being very bad and all the, you know, things that life entails, you know, I was not raised in a Christian home. And I mean, and for a long time, I think one of the big issues I've talked to you about this, Amanda, is that I've always felt rejection or lack of acceptance was a big issue because you didn't belong anywhere. And I always feel like when I listen sometimes, and Dan, I hope you don't shoot me for this as the president, but a lot of Christian testimonies are, they have this beautiful package to bring to people. They're just these beautiful gifts and they got, you know, maybe their ribbon's broken or their bow's offset and they're just, they bring this beautiful gift. And I come and I'm like a dump truck. Yeah. I just, I just have loads of things to bring and it's like, you know, you'll say God loves, prove it. You know, I don't think so. And it's like, I'm such a complex person and I bring so much complexity that, you know, it's just like, I have felt sorry for everyone who's known me that's tried to get me to walk with Christ and then to, you know, lead me to salvation and then help me to find freedom because I'm so complex. But when I think of people out there, I think, God, I needed God so bad. And I needed all these wonderful people. And God has always provided just along the way. There's always been somebody to meet me right where I'm at and to take me to the next step. It's no matter how grimy or slimy or messy my life was, or I was, or I was making it, or somebody else was making it, didn't matter. God always provided, always. And that's the redemption of God. He always is there to redeem it, no matter what it is, no matter who he has to provide, no matter how sloppy you are, He will come into that and he will redeem it. And it's true right up till the end, right up till the end. And that, you know, I can say full-heartedly that facing the end really is no different than facing your current problem because you're not alone in it and it's really not the end. It's another transition. So, yeah.
