God, why are you so quiet?

I was like around 17 years old and I was youth group. And I always go back to the story and you know what? Before I share that, there's something that I never remembered. And I only remember it like a couple of seconds ago. And I will talk about it, dude. And when I was five years old, I will always remember because I had on a Lion King, Akuna matata pajamas kind of dress, night Caribbean, we said 19. And I remember I was five years old and I woke up that morning and I told my parents something that the Lord came into my dreams and told me I need to be this when I got older. And I remember seeing this iridescent light, you know, but I really forgot that memory until now, you know, and just add with any question for it, you know, it shows that God was always there from since a tender child. Even though I may think like, okay, I gave my life to Christ at seven years old, always brought up in a Christian home struggle, you know, it was more than that because. And I think now being even 32, that's why he never let me go, because he appointed since then, you know. But specifically, when I was 17 years old, I was at a youth group and I told God, God, I want to break up with you. Remember it plain as day. It was worship music. It was worship time. And I was like, lord, I just want to break up with you. Let's just take a pause from our relationship. Don't ask me to do anything. Don't convict me. Don't give me any ideas. I don't want to do anything. But he was silent. So I remember asking God, why are you so quiet? So you don't have anything to see? Because I really developed a relationship where I always heard God clearly, you know. So I realized he was silent, said, oh, my God, why are you so silent? Like you don't have anything to say? However, the youth leader, which I never really spoken to as much because it was a new youth group, I started going, it was big. So she called me over and she said a strong anger came. Strong came across me. And I'm like, God, where is this anger coming from? She's like, but then he showed you to me. So I was like, okay, because it's the first time, you know, like somewhere. So I was like, okay. You know, she's like, janae, God said, there's some people he allows to go into the world. That just is her word. She has no idea my conversation with God, right? There's some people I allowed to go into the world. And I bring them back. And they're strong leaders today. You could hear it in their testimonies and everything. But there are some people I don't allow to go in the world because what I have for their life has to happen now.