Neil T. AndersonFreedom in Christ Ministries · Pastor

That allowed us to kind of get on the same page

4 Mar 2026 · 3 min

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2:36

In this interview segment, Speaker A asks Speaker B to describe the early difficulties faced by a young couple: 27‑year‑old Steve, a military veteran and computer‑science student, and his 19‑year‑old wife who had been over‑protected and never lived alone. Speaker B explains that her fear‑based, hell‑fire religious upbringing created expectations of constant presence and immediate response, which clashed with Steve’s night‑time lab work. The lack of communication left her feeling abandoned and angry. Their father intervened by buying an overpriced vehicle, but the couple instead invested in a heavy 28‑pound Kaypro “briefcase” laptop, a dot‑matrix printer, and a 300‑baud modem. This home‑based computer setup let Steve complete his work remotely and transmit results to the lab, reducing his overnight absences and allowing the couple to align their schedules, easing the marital tension.

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But let's take a step back. So I just say that to say, help people get to know Steve a little bit. So you've got a 27-year-old who's been on his own for 17 years, in the military for 10, married to a 19-year-old who's never been on her own, has been overprotected. I can just imagine, but share with our audience, what were some of the issues that arose in your heart and mind or in Steve's in those early years of marriage?
Well, probably the main one was I was raised in the era of hellfire and brimstone, and being fear-based, it was all about being taken in the rapture. And if Steve didn't come home when he said he was going to come home, or he didn't respond in a way I expected him to, you know, that was before cell phones, so, but he was in computer sciences. He was in college when we got married, and the only time he could get into the computer lab was at night, and he would be gone until 3, 2, 3, 4 o'clock in the morning. And here I was, never having been alone. Suddenly I'm in this apartment by myself, and just, I mean, it was tough. And I would get very very angry with him. You know, hey, you're not taking care of me, you're not here when I need you to be, and you know, all that. And the interesting thing is my father somehow or other understood that. My mom was worried that we would survive our first year. My dad, on the other hand, said they need some help. And so he bought a vehicle that I had for 3 times what it was worth. And just to help us out. And we, instead of helping ourselves out, Steve went and bought a computer. So we had what they called a briefcase computer laptop. It weighed 28 pounds or something like that. It was called a Kaypro. And he bought a dot matrix printer and a modem. And it was a 300 baht modem. It was so exciting at the time, you know. And so he could do all of his work at home, send it to the computer lab, and then print it out when he got to school the next day. So in that, that allowed us kind of get on the same page where I wasn't alone all the time.