A man who has survived 42 surgeries and childhood torture learns he has an inoperable heart condition. He reflects on suffering, mortality, and what Good Friday means now that he's facing death, drawing parallels to Christ's crucifixion and wrestling with fear alongside his love for his family.
Chapters
It's like experiences that other people also don't have, you know, that, and so you can get to the point that you're at in life and, you know, you can be told you've got X amount of time or you're going through these things like I'm going through now. And you can look back and you can say, you know, I've had a really good life and somebody else is hearing, you know, you've had 42 surgeries, you were tortured as a kid, you know, you've had to compensate for this and that, you're missing a finger, you're missing part of your shoulder and everything. You've had a what? You know, and you can see, yeah, I've had a really good life. I mean, God has just done miraculous things. You know, you're laughing and you're smiling and they're thinking you're either nuts or I want to hear about this God you got because it's— he's that redemptive. He's that. And last Good Friday was so special to me because I had just found out, I mean, just gotten word like on Thursday that I had still yet another heart problem they had just found and it was inoperative and it would probably be the thing that would take me out and probably relatively relatively quickly. It was like, and you know, it really brought meaning to Good Friday because, you know, we're thinking of Jesus on the cross and we're going through this Holy Week of where we're kind of trying to walk through what he walked through. And it was like, I have suffered so much loss and so much pain and I could relate to that. And it was like, yet all I could think of was how much more he suffered and how much more loss he did. And he did it for me without, like, I'm invested in my life, you're invested in your life, you know, we, we kind of are We're so limited as humans and so selfish, you know. It's like we don't mean to be, but we just are. We just want to know, you know, what's in it for me. I mean, we don't want to be that way, but if you really cut it down to it, we kind of sometimes are. It's like, okay, if your wife and your kids are involved, you might extend that to them. All right. But it's sort of like, well, kind of scared to do that. Kind of, you know, this is hard. This is this. And it's like, I'm facing the end and it's like, I love my family and stuff, but I'm going to be the one going through this, okay? And how do I feel about this? And it was like, that's a big subject, you know, facing the end is a big subject.
