Interview of Sheryl Ann Spady Sexton

Start all the way over.

So tell me again about you meeting Bud and getting to see all that.

Yeah, well, when you asked me about his job for Oral Wheat—

We'll go back to the marriage though, we'll come back to the job. So how'd you guys meet?

Well, it might sound like I was kind of spoiled brat girl, because when I met Bud, I was trying to help my friend get a date with him. Oh. Yeah. It's a scandal.

Didn't work out so well for her, it seems like.

No, it did not, because he asked me out, and I wanted to go.

Probably the last time she asked you to set her up.

Nope. Nope, she, you know what she did? She really, her name was Cheryl too. That's what's really funny too. We both were named Cheryl. Her with a C and I with an S, but I went by Cheryl and she went by Sherry. But she talked a lot, and I don't know, I don't know why Bud didn't really like her. I mean, like that, you know.

Did he want somebody that was listening more than talking, or?

Well—

Did he like to talk?

No, he wasn't a big talker. And as the years went by, he didn't talk as much. But then he said, I— didn't talk either. But you know, maybe because we had gotten everything pretty much worked out, we could just sit quietly and not talk. And then we like to solve mysteries on TV. You know, I don't know if that's such a good idea, but it never really, as long as they weren't really gruesome and nobody got tortured, because I couldn't stand anything like that. And I was pretty sheltered as a child because my mother was, she told me she was an old maid when she married my dad because he was coming back from the service. And so she was really sheltered, sheltered us girls. A lot, and she told us, from the time we were, I don't know, it seems like when I was, the first time I ever went to church down here, it was what you call a mission, and we had to clean out the Elks Club to have our service there.

Oh, yeah, I gotcha.

Yeah, and I can remember going down there and running around and picking up like bottles, you know, and they had— and cleaning, helped kind of cleaning up. We were like, I don't know, I was pretty small. But then at 3, we got to a different building and we got the upstairs. Stairs, and it was a bakery, and it was down on Main Street in Cottage Grove. But anyway, back to Bud. So, I mean, I've been—

You guys were some of the early members of the church here.

I cut my teeth on the Book of Mormon, probably, you know, because that's what I heard from my mom. It was always, you know, like when I'd say, "Oh, Mom, I had this happen to me." Well, one day I said to her, I said, what was it? Oh, she wanted me, I was hiding. Who is it? Is that mine? Oh, it's Cindy.

Do you want to go get us some Taco Bell or something?

I just won't take it right now. We'll do it in a minute. And so I told— I was 3, no, I was 5, because we lived on BB Route and Jackie and I, that was my sister, the second. I was the first, and then Jackie was the second. We had twin beds, and it was time to say our prayers at night, and Mom was teaching us how to pray. And I was 5, so I slipped into the— Jackie was 2 and a half, I think, because we're about 2 and a half years apart. And, you know, she was kneeling by the bed because she was 2 and a half, and she thought that was great fun. But I was hiding in the closet, and Mom said, where, where's Cheryl Ann? And And I was hiding down in there, you know. She opened the closet door like that and she said, "All right," you know, and I knew I was busted. So I came out and she said, "Why are you in the closet?" And I said, "Well, I'm not ready. I can't say any prayers. I want to hide in the closet." And she said, "No, you're not. Get over here and get down on your knees because that's what we do at night. We say our prayers." And I said, "But I don't want to say my prayers because I don't want Jesus to know that I've been bad." And she said, "Shelley Ann, don't you think that Jesus knows everything?" And I said, "Well, yeah." And she said, "Are you able to think about this a little bit? Are you big enough?" And I said, "What?" And I just sort of thought about it, and I thought, well, how ridiculous. I went in that closet and was trying to hide, and Jesus knew all this anyway. But you know, we never knew a lot about the gospel because when I was 3, And we went to church with Aunt Florence. Since Dad wasn't a member and Uncle Fred wasn't a member, they joined the church later, but Mom and Aunt Florence took us kids and Mom made sure we— I was blessed. I have a blessing certificate and all that stuff. I'm certificated up to the gills in there. I've got all my certificates. And I just, I loved the church from the beginning. It was just like I came home, you know. I'm sorry.

Nothing to be sorry about.

I just loved it so much, but there's so much about it I don't understand. I'm trying to study. This is supposed to be my study thing, and I bought those books on the Old Testament to study it because that's the foundation of everything, you know.

How did Bud join the church?

Well, go back to that.

I'm going to grab something, but keep talking. I'm listening.

Okay. I told him I wouldn't marry him if he didn't join my church. So he said, "Well, that means you don't love me." And I said, "I didn't say that." And he said, "Well, then what's the motivation? What's it that?" And that's when I said, "I don't want to raise my babies anywhere else." And then I got 3 little, pretty little hardcore people. And I didn't really know how to handle them at 17. But anyway, I, so he said, so do you love me? And I said, yeah. And he said, but you won't marry me? And I said, I didn't say that. He said, I said I wouldn't marry you if you didn't join my— you had to join my church. He said, well, what do I have to do to do that? I said, I thought, really? I thought I'd lost him. He said, what do I have to do to do that? I said, "Well, you have to see the missionaries and you have to take the lessons. When you take them, after you take them, you need to pray about it and you need to read the Book of Mormon and you need to do—" It was a process. He said, "Is that it?" I said, "Well, pretty much, because after you pray about it, you'll know it's true and then you will want to join it." And that's what I'm really counting on because I trust the Lord. And it happened. It all happened for me. And at first it was really good, but then we had our ups and downs because he came from the South. I mean, he had religion, but he didn't. And he was a young man. But my dad, he was— that was when he was the bishop, and he baptized him. And I can remember Dad would say to my mom, they were getting ready to baptize him, and he said, I hope I can get that kid down under that water. Because my dad was 5'10" and Bud was 6'4". Wow. And he was so tall and skinny. And Dad was afraid he wouldn't get all of his parts under. And Mom kept laughing and she kept saying, oh, Jack, don't be silly. He'll just slide right under there and you'll get him into there and be fine.

And then Jake gets his size. Yep.

Well, he, Bud wasn't, he was like you, tall and really skinny. He was a big man though. I mean, he always, I noticed your shoes because my grandpa used to wear shoes. Those are shoes, those are Mormon shoes.

Aren't they? I guess a Mormon's wearing them, so I guess so.

Anyway, that's how I always called Grandpa's Mormon shoes. He always had black ones and he had brown ones. And they looked, well, they're a little more modernized now, but they look the same.

And— Yep, these are the shoes they make us wear in my religion.

I'm sure they don't. You probably wear them because they last a long time. And that's why you wear your shoes. Tennis shoes just wear out really fast.

No, these are my Sunday shoes when—

Oh, there you go. Yeah, that's what Grandpa always wore, those with the kind of heel, you know, like the guy plays on the— well, organ. Yeah, yeah, those kind have a heel. Yeah, but anyway, back to the story. What was I telling you about?

Uh, about joining the church?

Oh yeah, yeah, he joined the church and then Things went along, but he had to work on Sundays, and so— What was he doing for work? Well, he was working at Safeway in Cottage Grove, and it's— have you ever been to the Tepetío for Mexican food? Well, that building right across there, that's where he worked. It used to be the Safeway, but now they've got the new Safeway over on Main, East Main, I think it is. They've had that for quite a few years. He didn't work there, but he went to— we had to move to Eugene, and he got to be manager of the little— they had a little Safeway there where the university is. It isn't there anymore. It's a— I think it used to be a bread company after they closed it down. And we didn't go to church a lot. I had to go by— well, Mom and Dad would come by and get me and I'd go. Peanut, you know, and then the kids were Little. And. And then it just got better, you know, as time went along. And Bud, he had to. Well, they pulled a. I don't know. There was a lot of this gal, she wasn't really very nice, and then he just quit. He walked out. And so that's when he got the job with Coke, and we had some experiences there that we didn't care for. So especially like their parties and stuff. And so that's when the bishops, I don't know, he also told Bud that since we, oh, Mom and Dad went on this tour, they went all around the United States and visited all the temples. And took their fifth wheel and we moved into their house. And they, we called it the big house. It sounds like, which house, it sounds like a prison.

Which house is that?

It was up on the hill. It's, it's on, you know, Saginaw.

Is that where that Walker Church is?

Or no, it's, it's up the road a ways. Um, yeah, and it's a terrible road and the church members would like when Dad was bishop, he had all that wood up there. They had timber in the back and they weeded out the, you know, and he'd cut it all up and then people that need, you know, we have a lot of people have wood stoves. He'd let them come up and get wood for free. I mean, you know, anybody, but, you know, the Saints especially. I mean, he kind of did it as a project for them. And so he was tutored under my dad, and he started, you know, feeling it, I think. And so we had a lot of good times with all the— he was in 3 bishoprics. Tutored in the gospel? Yep. Tutored in the gospel.

And then he got his own testimony. Yep. And then you said he served in some bishoprics.

Yeah, 3 different ones. He served with Bishop Venema, Doug Venema, and what's interesting about him is something, but that's another story. And then he also was under, let's see, Bishop Venema, Bishop Perry. Bishop Perry, I didn't care much for Bishop Perry. I was his, he put me, well, I thought I'd live and die in Primary because I loved the Primary children. Learned all the songs, and then I— there was that terrible day when they called me in and asked me if the Lord called me to be the Young Women's president. And I didn't want to do it. So I was really mad at Bud because I told him, you know, I want to stay with the kids while they're in Primary. Your kids? Yeah, my kids. And I needed to keep an eye on them anyway. They were kind of a little mafia. But anyway, I knew I couldn't turn it down, but I thought I'd go and talk to the Lord because that's the way I am. And so I went home. We had two cars then, and I went home and I got down on my knees and I said, 'Heavenly Father, I need to talk to you about this because I'm really upset and I'm really mad.' And I'm not kidding, I heard this small voice and it said to me, 'I see you're upset. Why are you upset?' And I said, 'I can't do that job. I don't like teenagers. I don't like them at all. I can't relate to them.' I just, I won't be able to handle it. And then he said, well, I guess it was a spirit must have said to my heart, well, he said, I've decided on you and I will help you do the job and we'll be just fine. You don't, you won't have to worry about a thing. I had the best calling I'd ever had, and they were fun, and they laughed, and they'd come to me with their problems. Lots of times they'd say, "Well, Sister Sexton, I'm really having trouble with my boyfriend." And I'd say, "Oh yeah, I had trouble with—" Brother Sexton a lot. And they said, you did? And I said, oh yeah. I go, you just got to go, go with it and just be the best you can be. And if anything happens that's not right, you need to go see the bishop. I do not want to hear about your problem. I want you to take it to the priesthood and they will tell you how to handle it. I don't know anything about that. I just know what— how Brother Sexton is, and everybody's different. Everybody has different plans, and that's what we're all working for. We're all working for to be together when this is all over. And they'd go, okay.

Well, it sounds like you were just the right person, and the Lord knew it, and And so he helped you do what you needed to do.

Yep, and it was really fun. We took trips to the coast in the denim machine because that's when Bud worked for Coke.

I don't know what the denim machine is.

Yeah, it's a— it was a big van and it was— it was— they had it painted up like Levi's and they let— Bud was in charge of the Coca-Cola part of it, they had 3 people that were bosses. He was one of them, and he asked to have the Venom machine to take the kids to the coast. And so, and like, we had a lot of dances, and I had a couple that her husband had a band and they would play and we'd have it in the cultural hall, you know, and we did a lot of stuff like that. And we had one time the Lord— I'd be vacuuming my floor, you know, and the Lord would say— I would be— I had a full crew because I had— I was the president, I had 2 counselors, And I had a secretary. And we, one time I was vacuuming the floor, and I did the 5th Sunday of every month. And so we were told that we had to have, you know, we had to figure out our own plans And I was trying to figure out what I could do that they would be interested in. Yeah. And it came to me just like that when I was vacuuming, and it was, um, I, I was supposed to do something about genealogy, and I, and I I just, I said, well, Lord, what can I do that will make these young people want to do genealogy? Yeah. And the most wonderful thing happened. I got Marie Osmond's, um, she sang that song Among My Souvenirs. I, I borrowed a trunk, I made up a bunch of fake love letters, things that young girls would be interested in, and put them in that trunk. And then I had— they were all sitting. I had a speaker and someone who could talk about their, you know, you know what they, but we played for the entry, we played Marie Osmond's song Among My Souvenirs, and I had a young, she wasn't really old, but she wasn't really young either, but that she was looking at them and seeing all the stuff that she'd collected and why she'd kept it, you know. It was really touching. The bishop came in. I had kept him a journal. Oh, she had journals we made, you know, I mean, put stuff in there that was— and she, and she, you know, she kept whenever she said something, the song said something, she'd look up, you know, and look at them, you know, and they were all just mesmerized. Well, the bishop, I had planned I just, for meanness— this sounds terrible to say, but just for meanness— I had kept a journal for a whole year of my thing, my so far what I'd done, everything I'd done in a book for him because I just wanted to. He told me one time I was light-minded, and that's not what I was about. And I said No, I'm not light-minded about this gospel. I love this gospel. And I am not— I smile every day because I have a Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ that loves me and protects me. And he went, well, okay, you know, because I got all choked up. But I didn't like him very much. I didn't think he was a very good bishop, but he was there for a reason. I knew that.

He's the one that called you? Yep. It sounds like he must have got some inspiration sometimes.

Yep, he must have. Or maybe, maybe he needed to be set on his behind once in a while when he was so high and mighty. But anyway, um, I've forgiven him for that. It doesn't matter anymore. He really helped me a lot when I had my kidney problem. He really did help me a lot. I mean, he really did know how to give. The funny thing about him was that he was just so, I don't know, I don't know what the word would be for him. Pious, maybe? I don't know. What does pious mean?

Like very religious or very, strict, right? Yeah, probably strict religious.

Yeah, well, he said the devil was always on his back, so I don't know what that meant. But anyway, you know how you have, you know, I was young, golly. And then I, I just What was I, what was I telling you about?

Just that your work with the young women that you enjoyed and—

Yeah, yeah, and you know, they, they really loved that and it wasn't even, I mean, it was, it was kind of like a movie, you know, where you, I mean, because people are people. Yeah. And like we have, and like I always told the girls, Well, one time we would— we— I had this really nice lesson planned, and these two girls came in the room and had a big fight right in front of me.

That's no fun. No.

Tell me about your parents. My parents? I had good parents. My mom was really nice. But she was like, she was English. What's her name? Her name was Mary, and she had an initial C, and it was Jensen. J-E-N-S-E-N.

Sorry, her first name was what?

Mary. M-A-R-Y. Like Mary. I named Mary after her because she was born on Mary Mary was born on her birthday, and I married her, I mean, I named her Mary Kay because my mom had just Mary C for an initial. And they were born on the 14th of July. Well, mom, I don't know when, what date mom was born. What year Mom was born in, but she was, she was really special because she was, well, she was the last child of my grandpa's, and then we had, we took Grandpa in because when Mom and Dad got married, well, when Dad asked Mom to marry him, um, She said, well, Jack, I can't marry you because I have my father living with me and I'm buying a house over on 5th Street. And he said, well, I live on 6th Street. And he said, you can't marry me because you have your dad? Well, you just call him in and just, I'll just take him. He can live with us. And so that's how it was. So Mom, she married him. He had the best pickup line there ever was. He was fresh out of the service. He threw— he opened up his— he said, "Hello there, young lady." He met her at an Elks dance or something. Some kind of dance they had in Eugene. And he said, "Hello there." And she said, "Hi." And he said, "Hi, my name is Jack Spady." And he whipped out his wallet and he said, "And here are my credentials. I just got out of the service." And I said, "Mom, he said that to you?" And she said, "Yeah." And she said, "I thought, Wow! And I said, wow is right. And she said, then, well, we went on a few dates, and then he, he took— well, they went down to Las Vegas and got married, and they had a 3-week honeymoon. And I said, wow, Mom, that is a long time. He must have a lot of money. And she said, he came back with a wallet full, and we just spent it all. And then his Oh, he got along so well with my Uncle Cordy and, and Mom's family. And, and of course, Uncle Cordy was— he was LDS, but he married a Catholic. They follow us around.

All right, so your, uh, your name's Cheryl? Yeah. And your mom was Mary Kay Jensen?

Yeah.

And your dad was Jack Spady?

Yeah, Jack Henry Spady, but they called him John in it, in the service. He was John Henry. He's sitting right up here, right there. That's him. He kind of looks like, uh, Jake.

So his, his real name was Jack Henry? Yeah. Yeah, there it is.

Yep. I have all these stuff. I have his death certificate and all that. Of course, Jackie. Oh. Do you think I should take this really fast, or—

You can if you want. I don't really want to. I'll just— And just hit that little thing that's like a text message. No, right, this one right here. Oh, I'll send it to voicemail.

Okay. Yeah. Um, now where were we?

Jack Henry Spady. Yeah.

Um, and But anyway, yeah, he lived, and all of his brothers came home from the service. He had 5 brothers, and they all came home. And I remember my grandma, when I used to go and visit— Did they serve in the war? Yep, they served in World War II.

Looks like he was in the Navy based on—

he was in the Navy.

You got more pictures than, than that of him?

Oh yeah, I've got pictures of how his whole body looks, and he's really skinny.

So when you— when next— whenever Jake's over, and you might be able to get Mary to do it too, is have them upload the pictures to FamilySearch.

Oh, okay.

That way they'll be there forever.

Okay. Oh, this is really cool. Um, oh, now where, where am I?

Mary C. Jensen. That's your mom? Yep.

She was the baby in the family, and, and that's why she ended up with Grandpa, because Aunt Dora was married to Uncle Elra, and And he owned the meat, some kind of a, he was like a meat slaughtering place.

He was born in Hiram outside of Logan, Utah?

Yep, yep. And they lived, and they had a dry farm too. I mean, Elroy, he had money. And he owned it with his brothers, but, and she had Uncle Cordy, and he came to Oregon, and that's how Mom came, because he, him and Mom were really close as siblings. He teased her a lot, but he really took care of her. Who was this? My Uncle Cordy. And I don't know, he said, he told me he was a black sheep in the church, but he wanted to give Mary, when Mary went on her mission, he called me up to their house, me and mom, and he made us milk soup. That's what they survived on in the Depression. What is milk soup? It's homemade noodles an onion, water. You boil the noodles and you boil the onion, and then you put a can of condensed milk in it. And you put— if you have ham, you can slice up ham and put in it, and then you thicken it up. And it's so yummy. I love it. Yeah, that's what they survived on. And it never gets old because you can season it up and down and, you know, sounds probably disgusting. Who, who, who told you about this? Well, my grandma, um, and let's see, Grandma Jensen. Are you an only child? No. I have a sister, Jackie. It's— she's Jacqueline. Jacqueline.

She's living?

She alive? She's alive. She's married to a Catholic.

Any other siblings?

Yep. I have this— the one that had Damon is Liza Dale Spady. That's her name. Mine's Cheryl. L-I-Z-A? It's L-I-S, so that looks like Lisa, but it is Liza. Liza what? Liza Dale. Dale? Dale Spady.

Is she alive?

Yep, but her husband passed away. She's the one that had Damon I was telling you about, and then Anthony. He went with us too. That's her other son. That's her second son. And then she has Tyler. And Tyler—

sorry, what's your other sister that's living's name? You got how many siblings?

I've got two others, two girls.

So there's— who's the oldest?

Uh, Jacqueline.

How do you spell her name? Oh, J-A, I don't know. C-K-L-Y-N?

Yep, yep, yep, yep.

Middle name?

Nope, she doesn't have a middle name.

And then you said there's a brother too? No, I don't, uh, the— There's just 3 girls?

Yeah. Okay, and then Liza Dale Spady. We should pop up because we've all been sealed, the mom and dad.

Um, and your husband's name was Charles Andrew? Yep. And his dad was Clarence Arville? Yep. And Lucille Ha— Hawes? Pass. Pass. And how many siblings did he have?

I don't know, that she never really— she talked about—

Are they living or dead, his siblings?

They're probably dead. He died when he was 66, Bud's dad did. Mhm. But he worked in the woods and he worked so hard Did, um, how many—

do you know how many siblings he had?

I don't know. I have a picture of them somewhere, but I don't know what their names are.

I'm showing Charlotte, Sandra, Charles. Oh, that's it.

That's his children.

Whose children?

Uh, Lucille and Clarence's.

And one of them is your husband?

Yeah, that's who I want to get sealed to Bud. Just sealed to his parents? Yes. And his sister also just died. She died a couple weeks ago. What's her name? Her name is Sandra Jean.

Somehow Charles is in here twice, but there was only one Charles in the family, right? Right, yeah. Well, that's some good stories. Yeah. Do you know anything about, uh, any grandparents?

Well, I only know what, uh, Lucille, um, Bud's mother— I used to go and visit her a lot, and she, she told me one time— she, she— hey, she told me one time, she said, you know, I didn't really get to know my mom because when I was 5 years old, she died. And she had some kind of a thing that the water came out in her legs and they had to wrap them. And her dad had to spend, he had to sell all their furniture. And she said that they were— To try to help her? Yeah. Because, you know, the South was poor. They were poor during the Depression, and she was born like in 1921. She lived to be 97, his mom did. The dad only lived to be 66, and she married another guy, but she divorced him because he was just after her property. And then she said when she was 5, when her mom died, her brothers, they had a 2-bedroom house, and she said, Cheryl, she said, I had to sleep in the parlor, and they had a little cot for her because, you know, she wasn't very big, she was just 5, and the boys had they all stayed in the bedroom, and then, and the dad, he had to work across the valley, and he had to take the road around, but she had this aunt that lived down the road on the property where they were, and that she was in charge of them during the day while the dad worked. And that's how they— otherwise they would have took those kids away from him. They wouldn't have let him have those kids, I don't think, because it wasn't— and it was— and they were kind of on their own during the daytime. She said the— I think it was— who's this? This is her brother's.

She said one— which parent, which grandparents are we talking about?

We're talking about Lucille's.

Lucille's parents? Parents, yeah. So William Andrew Haas and Martha Caroline Marcus? Yes. Who were in North Carolina. Mm-hmm. So one of them died early, the mom? Yep. And looks like the mom died when Lucille was like 9.

Oh, it was '9? Around there. She told me it was '5. Well, she probably couldn't remember. Well, let me see here.

Yeah, I think it was '9.

Yeah, well, maybe she was 8 or 9. Yeah, but she, you know, she lived with a bunch of boys and they had to take her to school She told me that too, that the oldest one, let's see, I think Carl's the one that blew his fingers up with, they were playing with dynamite, but they were unsupervised. She said, 'Cause, you know, Grace, her cousin Grace or something was taking care of them during the day. I know her name was Grace, but I don't know a lot about them. I know that the Capeharts were related to them, and they lived here in town in Cottage Grove. And I know that she had— a cousin that was doing genealogy, because she used to give Lucille a lot of pictures. I have some really old ones if you want to see them. I don't know, do they have names on the back of them?

Yes, she labeled everything. Okay, so you want to make sure that Jake and Mary take the pictures and attach them on FamilySearch. Oh, okay.

And see, I've got pictures of the boys up there.

Yeah, so the, the, um, why don't we stop the interview here and I'll show you some things. Okay.