The Real Deal of Building Business & Marriage | Scaling Together w/ Josh & Yesenia Nelson

How do you do that as a couple? We've been married for 20 years. We have 3 kids and we really do it together.

Stresses and hassles and frustrations and how we overcome these things.

Don't try and put your significant other in a box. Let them flourish.

What's the toughest decision?

Letting people go.

How do you prevent business stress from seeping into our personal lives?

The right person in the wrong seat.

If only one person was making decisions, it would be a difficult path. Submit to one another.

Welcome to the Scaling Together podcast where we're talking about not just how to grow and scale a digital marketing agency, but really how to, how to grow and scale together as a married couple. And Yesenia and I have now grown our two agencies to multiple seven figures, the coaching business and the digital marketing agency. And we've been married for 20 years. We have three kids and we really do do it together. This isn't like sometimes you look at Seven Figure Agency and you think, oh, Josh is the face of the organization, but we really run the company together. And a lot of people have been asking at the event, clients that are members. Like, how do you, how do you do that as a couple? And so that's why we had the idea to start this podcast. I'd love to hear your thoughts on kind of why we put this together, Yesenia.

Yes, normally we tend to talk about business and how to scale your agency like Joshua was talking about, and we don't get into so often the nitty-gritty of the day-to-day stresses and hassles and frustrations and how we overcome these things in our personal life with our family, with our kids, with our spouse, um, how we make it all work in our businesses as well, running the business together as a team, and what that looks like behind the scenes. So, uh, this is special, this is exciting, it's fun. I'm looking forward to having these conversations and, um, getting deep into some of these topics that we've been asked a lot over the years. So, um, Excited to get started.

So if you run an agency as a married couple or as a, you know, united front, you're really going to enjoy this podcast because we're going to be talking about— be sure to subscribe. And if you're getting value as these episodes go, please leave us a review on whatever your favorite podcasting platform is. And let's get into it.

How do we decide who takes the lead in different areas of the business and home life?

That's a tough one. I'll let you go first.

Uh, so I had this great conversation with Dr. Bill Attaway the other day, um, when we were having dinner, and there's this verse, Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, that we were discussing that says, "Two are better than one," and that's how we have really just looked at our entire relationship as a whole. So we got together when we were 17 years old, and we met in high school, and from there we just grew together as well. We didn't have kids until, uh, 8 years later, and we had that time to really fine-tune who we were and who we were together and growing together and maturing. And so that allowed us to then, um, when we started to start businesses, a couple of them failed, we did that together, and just so much growth and learning. So much that we had to learn and pick up.

Oh yeah.

And so going to all these trainings together and coaches together has been a really wild, fun ride. And then adding kids to the mix and then now having solidified businesses that are full functioning machines that are now working and bringing in other people into our, our sphere as well and trusting us with, right, with our team. And having people, more mouths to feed, like, you know, responsibilities in that arena has all been challenging throughout the years. And, um, that has been a really helpful tool is the fact that we see everything as a team. Um, we're not like, okay, Josh, you're gonna take it and I'm gonna like help here and there, or you don't do the same thing, vice versa. It's just we look at everything as like, how are we gonna conquer this together? How are we gonna conquer our finances? And we do it together. And how are we going to raise our kids? And we have those conversations, and that's really what makes it work. Because if only one person was making a lot of these decisions, um, it would be a difficult path. Like, one person would just have to, like, fall in line, and that person's just taking the lead. And, and that's a struggle no matter who it is, whether it's the, the man in the relationship or the woman in the relationship. Like, you want to make sure that it goes hand in hand.

Yeah, no doubt. And you know, there's a great quote by Dave Ramsey, uh, he's famous for EntreLeadership and a lot of other things, but I remember it at one point he said, trust the wisdom of your spouse. And like, he's like, that was like one of his top 5 key principles for success in life and business. And you know, your spouse is the person that's there with you, that's hearing what's going on, that truly is just vested in, in what's in your best interest in the company or as an individual. And, you know, I really let that resonate that, you know, even if I should maybe on the accountability chart be the person that makes this decision, you know, my spouse, my partner doing this together has a lot of insights and a lot of wisdom to bring to the equation.

Of course, I feel the same exact way. You were our best friends. And so it's so nice to go into business with somebody that you fully trust. And that, you know, you lean on for support. I lean on you for support in every aspect of our life together. And even when it comes to just like being that, that accountability partner for working on health that we were talking about earlier, and with our kids and in the office and things like that.

So, so we talked a lot about the, you know, in kind of business, how do you decide who takes the lead? How about in the, in the family?

In the family, it's the same thing. Going back again to that conversation with Dr. Attaway, he also mentioned Ephesians 5:21, which says, "Submit to one another in reverence to Christ," and that verse is just saying how we come together, not like with what my agenda or your agenda. It's like, how can I serve you? And the fact that we both come together and meet each other halfway in that concept, where not one person is, you know, the domineering one. And because if we had a relationship like that, it, you know, one person would be walking on eggshells and would be keeping secrets and hiding things from the other because they're afraid of, you know, upsetting this person or having these conversations. And it's the same thing with the other, if it's regardless if it's like the husband is walking on eggshells with the wife or the wife is walking with eggshells on the husband. And so it's so important to have that team mentality of like, we're in this together, we are each other's best friend, we're, you know, it's us against the world kind of thing, you know, have each other's backs. So important in life. And so I think that has been a really impactful thing going into our business that has helped us be successful in this together.

Yeah, so, so on the family front, you know, like Again, the common thought is, oh well, I'm running the business. She's going to take care of the kids. She's going to take care of the house. She's going to do all that stuff. And I think that's counterproductive thinking, right? You guys run a business together. You run the family together. Like, take responsibility, take responsibility for the things that need to be done and share the load.

And with that comes different kinds of responsibilities where we have to figure out then, okay, if you are not going to be home with the kids and I'm not going to be home with the kids, who is? Because we both work full-time. So navigating that has been a challenge until we got to the point where we hired a house manager, and now I'm able to go in full-time and our kids are taken care of. And we also have my mom that also helps support since we still have a 3-year-old in the house too who's little. Um, but we've, we've done so many things, so many movements and places in our in our personal lives to make it all work for our business as well, so that when we're done at 5:30 at the end of the day, we get to just hang out with the kids and just relax. Because we put it all on, leave it all on the table, and then have the evening to ourselves. Um, it's not like nobody has their perfect life. Um, of course there's other challenges and there are things that come up, but for the most part, that has been such a nice way to be able to think We're in control of the decisions that we make in our life. And if we don't like something that frustrates us, to make those decisions and make the changes that we need to make for the betterment of our life, no matter who, what, what other people are doing or friends are doing and peer pressure of like, oh, that's so strange. You guys are doing the, like, you guys hired a house manager, you know, took your kids out of school to homeschool. Um, you know, of course it, it probably seems odd to the outside world, but for us it just makes us happy and it, everything works. In our lives because of it. So that's what we did. We just take the risks and, and go full force and we do it in love.

Yeah. And one of the, one of the beauties of, of scaling together and having businesses that produce income and profitability is you can find like where your time is being sucked and buy back that time, as Dan Martell says, and hire a house manager or hire someone to help, you know, train the kids and, um, you know, create that freedom to, to still have time to spend with the family in a meaningful way outside of work.

So another question that we've gotten before is how do we handle decision-making without stepping on each other's toes? Mm.

Yeah, I think decision-making always needs to come back to like the end purpose is to serve the client or to serve the member and to do the very best for the team. Right. And for the business. And so I think having mutual respect for your spouse, for the rest of the team that's involved, and really having the time to sit down on a consistent basis, whether it's part of the Level 10 meetings or outside of the Level 10 meetings, and have the deep conversations about, well, what's the problem? What's the opportunity? What do you think? What do I think? And then come to a consensus that makes the, you know, makes the most sense for the business and for the customer.

100%. Yeah, we don't always, of course, see eye to eye like every other relationship. And every now and then when we don't, we have our Justin Simmons, who is our third party, right? Like, our— as our integrator comes in, and he's wonderful at that, um, to navigate that with us, right? But we're transparent. We're like, hey, look, you know, he's thinking this, I'm thinking that, what do you think? And it just— it it really helps to have that third person sometimes. But thankfully, it's like, it's more of a rare thing. Usually we come to the same logistical, like, thought to help the business because, like you just said, we're all— our main focus is how can we serve our members better, how can we serve our clients better. And when that is the driving force, it's just it makes sense for us to just come together as partners because that is the ultimate goal. And so we hear and we listen to each other, what each other's point of view is. And so that has been really helpful to have that set time where we meet. Sometimes it happens over breakfast where, you know, an email came in and we're like, oh, we gotta make a decision on this. And we just resolve it just then and there because our whole, we look at our day and it's like, meetings throughout, and so that's the time that we have for that sliver. Sometimes it's the kids have been tucked into bed and we have like 10, 15 minutes to go over this issue, and then when it's done, it's done, and we just like, "All right, what are we gonna do now? What do you wanna watch on TV? How do you wanna hang out?" So having those just, and that, we weren't always like that. We, you know, sometimes we would talk into late in the evening, over business until we, you know, made that decision of, all right, I can tell Josh is like, all right, I'm done, I just want to check out. And, and same thing for me, right, where we're just like, okay, I think we need to just take a break for a minute, you know, I can't have this conversation any longer, um, let's put a pin in it. But we have set those times aside and kind of over the years figured out where our natural tendencies are like, okay, so Josh likes to work in this method, he likes to meet on these times and be structured in this way. And so I've come to meet you at that, and you the same way, right? Like, you understand, like, meeting is so important, and so you set aside time on your schedule to do that. And so the fact that we get together typically on Fridays, you know, we set aside about 30 minutes to an hour to make sure that we, you get through everything so we are on the same page, that has been very instrumental.

Yeah, for sure.

So the next question is, what's the toughest business decision we've had to make together and how did we handle it?

We might both have different answers to this. You know, as you can imagine, running a 7-figure digital marketing agency and a 7-figure coaching business, with, you know, combined probably like 60 full-time employees, there's tough decisions that have to be made.

Oh yeah, so many.

I would say, you know, for me, the toughest are decisions around letting people go, you know, and sometimes you have the right person in the wrong seat. Sometimes you have the wrong person in the right seat, and you have to make those tough decisions, even if they're good people, even if they're people that you care about, but they're just either not getting the job done or they're not a good fit. And we've had to make, unfortunately, a lot of those tough decisions. And what's really interesting is when we come together, sometimes it's you that sees it and it's like, this is an issue, right? And we got to work through it. Sometimes it's me that sees it. When we do finally make the decision, it's always been for the best for the business, for the best for that individual, because they are free now to go do something that's going to fit better for them. But then also better for the team, right? 'Cause it creates a vacuum for more, you know, the right person to come in and fill that gap within the organization. And so, you know, I think if you're dealing with these types of tough decisions in your agency, you know, there's always a breakthrough on the other side of a tough decision that you, you know, do what you think needs to be done even if it's hard.

Yes, those are the decisions when we're dealing with people and people that we, grow to spend so much time together, we love and we care for and we have respect for, and we have to make that ultimate decision because unfortunately it's not the right person in the right seat. Those are the kind that really bring stress, um, keep us up at night, uh, brings us down some negativity until, you know, the decision is made and, and we have that conversation with the other person. Which we have learned to do that quickly. The sooner the better so we don't like drag it out on the feeling of the emotion side. For us, it's so hard to go through because we bring them into our lives. We have a team culture where we care about each other so much, and that is the absolute hardest thing to do, is do those. Aside from that, the only other thing was with the agency providers too, having that switch where same concept, it's people again that we love and we care about so much and a change that we made ultimately keeping the members in mind. Like for the other one, it's our team as a whole, but this one in order for the cohesiveness of the members, they're asking for something and so making a shift so that we don't have of people in the immediate group that are selling to the group was such a big heartache decision to make. But ultimately, I think for the best for the members, they've spoken and we listen and we make the change.

Yeah, so takeaway on this one, when you're making a tough people person decision, there's a great tool from EOS called the People Analyzer, right? And it's where you stack the person. Do they get it? Do they want it? Do they have the capacity? And then you rate them on the core values within the organization. Are they plus, plus-minus, or minus? And usually if it's somebody you're already getting a gut feeling they're not a good fit, you run that People Analyzer and it becomes very clear this isn't objectively the right fit and they're not meeting the KPIs that you've set aside or the scorecard metrics. Uh, and it, and it feels a lot better to, to make that decision and share with the team why.

Absolutely. You give them a 90-day window, uh, if If it's a situation where the way that they're handling the job, like it's the right person, but they're showing, like for example, they're late to work or they're non-responsive or they're just not coming up to speed, but you think that they should be able to, then you give them a PIP, performance improvement plan, and work with them on that. Be straightforward and open and honest and have those communication channels. I know it's really hard to like keep it inside and be like, oh, I'm like annoyed by something, you know. And but being open and upfront is the quickest way to just get that negative feeling off your chest. And everyone will be so much better for it. Having those tough conversations right when you feel them, I think, is one of the biggest growth things that we've had together.

Yeah. And I really think a measure for a successful person is how comfortable they are dealing with and pushing through uncomfortable conversations. And so, you know, all of us resist confrontation, me especially. Like, I don't like to deal with confrontation. I like to— let's just— we'll deal with that when it needs to happen. But on the other side of tackling that confrontation and pushing through that uncomfortable obstacle is, is a next-level breakthrough within your business.

100%. So next question is, how do you prevent business stress from seeping into our personal lives? How do you deal with stress, Josh?

So dealing with the stress within our personal lives, I think having a great daily routine helps. There's always going to be chaos. There's always going to be problems. There's always going to be issues. But if you start your day and you know you're going to wake up, you're going to exercise, you're going to do some type of prayer, meditation, devotion, whatever it is for you, and then you're going to do a little bit of focusing on what you want, your goals, your targets, a little bit of focusing on your gratitude. Man, I've got this amazing life. I've got a beautiful wife. I've got amazing kids. I live in this amazing home. And you settle in that for a little bit before you start your day. You've worked your body, you've worked your mind, you put yourself in a right emotional state. I find, you know, the biggest stressors, you know, go, go by the wayside when you have your mindset right.

It's so true. When we focus on the positivity, that's what expands. And you realize how, how grateful you are and how ahead you are, how far you've come when you focus on all the things you've achieved getting to this point. And putting God first in our lives and making sure that we, you know, have devotions where you read verses and you memorize them and you have them in your heart. So when you do have that stressful moment, you lean back on that, like, okay, God says, you know, be still, I'm here, I'm here to support you. And there's just so many verses to go to and reflect on that, that really helped me. And I'm so grateful that I learned that from a young age and have been able to memorize that. I'm trying to instill that into our kids as well when I sit with them Monday through Friday before they start school. But that part is so important too. And the health, if your body's not right, your mentality's off.

Yeah.

Right? So making sure that we're getting enough sleep, 5 days a week at least, eating well makes such a big difference. On whether you're going to be sluggish by midday, you're just not going to perform against your competition, right? If you are struggling in any of these aspects, like you want to work at your utmost optimal position, and you do that by eating right, doing the things that you know we should be doing. Like, and the other thing is, if we— when we don't do that, like for me, if I don't work out, it it sits on my shoulders and I have this like negative whisper in my ear telling myself, man, you really messed up. You know, you're this, you're that. You know, just the negativity starts to seep in and overcoming that instead when you do work out, even when you don't, you wake up, you're like, oh, I gotta work out today, man. I'm so sore. Really don't feel like doing this today. But when you do it anyway, that supercharges your, um, confidence level.

Yeah.

And your positivity and outlook in life. That whole morning just shifted majorly for you that day. So that is also just— it's so important how you kick it off. And the other thing I'll say about that is just anything that has been a stress recently for us, like this past year, I've tackled writing down a list of all of the things that for me personally have been a challenge. Like, I keep coming against the wall for these things. And it was like my health. I was like, how am I going to eat better? And we were doing Uber Eats constantly, all the time. And we were not having time to fully be consistent with our workouts. I was not able to wake up in the morning and push myself, so I needed an extra person, outside influence. So I hired a trainer. And then for the Uber Eats, we're like, we gotta solve this. We don't have time to cook ourselves with our lifestyle. We've got kids and everything that we're trying to set up in the morning. If I leave to go work out, I don't have time to also cook and, and eat the food. So having the house manager come into the play has been such an amazing thing to relieve that stress of figuring that part out. Yeah, so so many different aspects of thinking like, how can I relieve this stress? What is it that's causing it? And if it's continuing to be a pain point, stopping and thinking like, all right, I got to do something about this. This is starting to have an effect on my psyche. And so the more that we remove all of these frustrations that we have in our lives, the better that we're going to be off. Yeah. And more positive we're going to feel for sure.

And I think, you know, just in the last year, we've seen a massive transformation in that side of our lives, right? With you, with consistently working out and doing your devotionals and plugging into Gratitude and getting that additional help and support has been a game changer. Going back, I think this may be the last question for this episode. So just kind of going back on a takeaway there, how do you deal with stress, right? I think the biggest thing, and the bigger the stress, the more important this particular thing is. You just got, you just, got fired by your biggest client, or, you know, your operations manager that runs everything within the business just quit, and you just feel complete stress, complete chaos, remember, God's in control, right? I mean, at the end of the day, in the grand scheme of eternity, God is in control. Go to God in prayer. Really, if you put that into perspective, all of the, all of the other issues in your business, you know, they're, you know, you're going to work through it.

Absolutely. Um, that's such a great mental recharge of thinking in the grand scheme of things. Like, we have our, our life that we're looking at, and in one scale, we have one life to live. And so do you really want to have it spent mostly stressing about things that 5 years from now is not even going to matter? Um, so that's something else that, that I think about too, is where I'm like, I'm worried about something. I'm like, is it going to affect me a year from now? I wish, because I think I even think to myself like, I wish this was a year from now where I'm not thinking about this issue and I have it solved already. And so kind of backtrack of like, what would I do to get there, um, to relieve this stress and worry from me for those kind of situations? But I know some, one of the biggest ones have been when, you know, if we had to hire a new salesperson, we're like, how are we gonna find somebody that was good, as good as X if the person left? You know, and we always, I'm a big believer of things happen for a reason. And when a person who we felt was great, a great team member leaves our business, we always find somebody even more, like, stronger, have bigger strengths and more experience. Like, it's such a perfect person that God puts in our lives to replace that hole. So I feel like it— everything is going to work out for your good, as the Bible says, right? So lean into trusting in God, because, um, if you are going to put in your effort and work he's gonna repay you with those kind of benefits from just making sure that you have your life taken care of.

Well, this has been a lot of fun. We really hope you enjoyed this initial episode of Scaling Together. If you liked it, be sure to subscribe. If you've got follow-up questions, you know, as you're running your agency and, you know, it's like, or running your business and you're like, hey, I'd like, this is an issue I have or a challenge, post that in the comments wherever you happen to be watching, post it in the comments. We will be reading those comments And stay tuned for the next episode of the Scaling Together podcast.