The Untold Truth About Scaling a Business as a Couple | Scaling Together w/ Josh & Yesenia Nelson

You're feeling in a rut, like when you wake up in the morning and you're like, ugh, dreading the day. That is your cue. That's the red flag that you need to set up a day guilt-free.

Bring it up and then try and find a way to disconnect.

As entrepreneurs, we're looking at our schedule and we're just adding. We never subtract.

It's also just reevaluating your whole entire calendar.

How do we balance big goals with protecting our lifestyle and our relationship?

As entrepreneurs, as Type D personalities, we want to conquer the world. We don't think there's any limit to what we can accomplish or what we can do.

What would we tell other couples who are struggling to find common ground on growth goals?

Reconnect with where you are, where you'd like to be a year from now.

Love it.

Hello and welcome to another episode of Scaling Together, where we're talking all about how to grow and scale your business as a couple. And today we're going to be talking about how to balance the growth, both personal and spiritual and financially as a couple. Because at sometimes, you know, we're on different wavelengths, right? And we're like, we're focused on different things. And so as the business grows, as you— as we grow personally, how do we balance that as a couple?

So some of the questions that we've gotten on this is, how do we check in with each other before making a big leap?

You want to talk about that first?

We always have a meeting regardless of what the situation is before we do something that's risky. Anything that is emotionally tied potentially, or is scary, or is, you know, sizable investment, we usually hash it out together before we make a decision, either whether it's your, um, something that you've seen to do or something I've seen to do, whether it's coaching that we're going to be plugging into, whether it's Hiring someone, firing someone, some new direction that we're planning to take, going into a bigger venue, anything like that, acquiring another business that we've done recently. So we usually are in tune because we are intentional about, hey, I have this new idea, I have this thought, let me run it by you first. And then we make the decision together. I think that's one of the biggest things that we've done.

Yeah, I think it just boils down to communication, right? Getting on the same page, making sure you've got a time to have those conversations. And because we implement EOS and because we're seeing each other on all of the Level 10s and we're seeing each other in those separate breakout meetings with the different departments, we're able to keep in tune and we're able to really voice those concerns and voice those issues privately So we can be on the same page before making a big shift.

Yes, and it's very easy because we live under the same roof to bring up issues or things that we want to talk about after hours.

Yeah.

Like over dinner or before bed or something like that. But we've learned over time where the end of the day is for each other. And whether the other person is like, okay, this is past the point of where this person's open to having this conversation. And so setting instead a specific time, one time during the week for about an hour where there's an open space that we can discuss issues, movements forward, risky items, like anything like that that we are planning to to implement, to first talk about it and having those set times in the schedule is what really helps as well.

Yeah.

What's our process when one of us feels burned out or overwhelmed?

I don't know if we have like an ironed out process for this, but I think the way it would typically go is we would bring it up and then try and find a way to disconnect, right? Whether it's like, hey, let's take Friday off and let's go do something different. Let's plan a little trip, a little weekend getaway, just voicing it and then trying to figure out a way to decompress or to get kind of get back on track.

100%. Anytime that I'm feeling very stressed about something or just overwhelmed with the amount of work that we have going on or back-to-back meetings or something that I need a breath of fresh air, I stop and I go outside and go for a walk. And for me, just going around the neighborhood, walking to Starbucks is about 2-mile walk and back. I've done that. So it clears the mind. It gives the opportunity for your mind to rest, get vitamin D, fresh air, and really clear the head and be on your own for a little while. And that's helped tremendously. And sometimes it's 15 minutes, sometimes it's 30 minutes is all you need. And sometimes it's a little bit longer, it's a couple of hours. And like you said, if it's, you're feeling in a rut, like when you wake up in the morning and you're like, ugh, dreading the day, that is your cue, that's the red flag that you need to set up a day, not an hour, not 2 hours, a day guilt-free that you're taking time off of work and doing something that you feel is relaxing, is stress-free and you can just let loose. If you need a babysitter to book that day, drop them off with family or something, that's the day to do it.

Yeah, and I think sometimes it's also like just reevaluating your whole entire calendar, right? Like there's sometimes there's like, I'm burned out, I'm not liking this anymore. And you need to go back to like, what is it that you're trying to accomplish? What are you doing with your day? Do a time and energy audit and say, well, you know what, maybe this portion of my week isn't the right use of my energy, right? I gotta, I gotta shift things up. So sometimes it's taking time just to blow off steam, and sometimes it's like, let's go address the issue.

That is true. That was one of the huge things that we did this past year was reevaluate our entire schedule because we, as entrepreneurs, we're looking at our schedule, we're just adding. We never subtract. It's always, okay, gotta add in this meeting with finance, All right, gotta add in this meeting with, uh, operations, gotta add in this meeting with sales, and it just adds, adds, and adds, adds. And then before you know it, it seems very overwhelming. It's like, where am I gonna have time to actually work on the things that I, I should be working on as the owner of the company?

Mm-hmm.

And so having the intentional— it doesn't happen unless you stop and you say, okay, I need a look at my calendar. I need a scheduled time, scheduled time into the calendar to actually look at it for an hour and say, all right, what do I actually need that's on here still today? Maybe I added this 4 or 5 years ago, it's completely irrelevant now, but I still am going through the motions. Or maybe it's an hour meeting that should be a 15-minute meeting or 30-minute meeting or combined with another one. And so totally relooking at the schedule is another way to find time when you're burned out. How do we balance big goals with protecting our lifestyle and our relationship?

Yeah, I think this is important because, you know, like we're as entrepreneurs, as Type D personalities, we want to conquer the world, right? And we don't think there's any limit to what we can accomplish or what we can do. And you have to always do a pros and cons. You have to do a, like, if that's where I want to go, what's the opportunity cost for that? And be clear, like, maybe you could accomplish that at the sacrifice of spending time with your kids and spending time with the family or having a personal life. And I think you really have to be conscious and be willing to say no to some big things because of the life you want to be able to live.

That's why EOS for us has been so integral, because it forces us to look at what 3, 5, 10 years is going to look like, not just in the business but our personal as well. Um, when, you know, we're getting together as well, you and I, and evaluating our lives and setting goals. And there are so many entrepreneurial opportunities out there. There's so many things we could be doing. Mm-hmm. It forces us to really hone in on, okay, here's our life goals and here's our business goals. We need to make sure that they're in alignment. And anything that hurts our personal goal but succeeds in our business is something that's not gonna work for us. Mm-hmm. And vice versa. Yeah. If it's a life goal that tramples on our work goal, that's also something we're not going to pursue.

Mhm.

So it definitely narrows down the field and makes a very clear path as to what we're saying yes to and what we're saying no to. And it's reminding ourselves, this is why we are choosing to do these items for work and not these. Yeah, for sure. How do we reconnect when one of us feels like the business is taking over? Mhm. So For us, we have a time that we get together to go on dates. And we try to do this weekly. And the thing about life is it's not perfect. We try to be consistent at this. And we succeed the majority of the time to spend time together and do fun things. But every now and then, it starts getting off the cog. And, you know, we don't connect and have our date night. We skip. One, we skipped two, we skipped three in a row, and then we're like, okay, before we know it, we're like, we need to really hone in and focus and put that back onto our schedule. And it's about the long game. So it's not about stressing that we didn't connect every single week and we missed one, we missed three. It's about the long game of consistency over time, how it looks over a year. Versus did we— were we absolutely perfect, right? And so not stressing about so much about that, but just, um, one of the things that have helped us in the past as well is having the executive assistant book, uh, a restaurant for us to meet at consistently. That was something that helped for us. And hiring a house manager to help with things at home so that we can feel like we can leave and, you know, our world not fall apart at home if we do. So there's different things that we had to put in place in order to make this happen. So what's it— what is your life, you know, if you're out there thinking about how you are going to make this happen for yourself? How do you make date nights with your spouse if there's no time because you're working full-time in the business, you have kids at home, maybe you don't have family that you can lean on, and you're considering hiring somebody that's something that we did. And we have another episode that we fully fleshed out what we did in order to hire a house manager and how that's helped us so immensely. Definitely take a look at that.

If you're interested. And I would say the biggest thing that you said there, that's the key is you've got to schedule it, right? Just like you would schedule team meeting or you would schedule client meeting and it's on the calendar and you do it. Like you need to schedule that time to get back on the same page and to spend that quality time.

Yes, and having a relationship for 21 years is something that is, it does take work. It does take intentionality is the word I like to use for it because we want to spend time together. When we are together, it is like, yes, it's the getting there. It's the logistics of planning and where are we gonna go? How long we're gonna do it for? Who's gonna cover the kids? It's the logistics part that would ever keep us because we enjoy spending time. We have so many things in common that we like to do and working out how to get to that point, navigating it is the biggest picture. Because once, when we first started dating, when you date anyone and even with kids, like when you have a newborn, your attention is on that other person. It's a new relationship. Even if it's a friend, if it's a team member, like they're coming on board, you're like, you know, loving on them a lot. You're like, yay, it's something new. And it comes naturally, but then it takes a lot more effort when it spans over time. And now it's like, it's been 2 years, 3 years, 4 years, 5 years. You just had need to be intentional at some point to make sure that you are continuing to connect. Yeah.

And the minute you stop making it new, is when it can die.

What tools or questions help us realign when we feel off? What tools? For me, it's the daily devotionals. It's leaning on God's word, what God has to say about the stress that I'm feeling at that moment, whether it's personal, whether it's a business, just overwhelm, or is it out of our control? Um, but definitely daily devotionals have been huge for me, getting into that rhythm and relying and just taking off instead of having that burden that I'm feeling on myself. And how am I going to solve this? It's first going to God and praying and, you know, handing it off to him and then knowing, okay, he's got my back, and now how do I continue to figure this out knowing that, you know, he's in my corner? So That has been a huge tool for me is my devotions. What would you say is a tool for you?

Yeah, I'd say the same, right? Starting the day with an exercise, starting the day thinking about your goals and what you're looking to accomplish, not just business goals, but life goals as well. And then having our weekly gathering or weekly get-together where we can talk about how things are going and personally check in, I think is a really important tool.

Last question. What would we tell other couples who are struggling to find common ground on growth goals?

I would say schedule a time, like a long time, like at least a 2 to 3 hour block, ideally away from the house. You could do it at the house, but ideally if you get outside the house at a restaurant or a cafe or somewhere nice and quiet and just reconnect with where you are, where you'd like to be a year from now, or kind of in the perfect, vision of your future and get on the same page and understand like, what is it that she wants? What is it that he wants? And then start to put together your plans on how you can make that happen together.

Love it. So good.

Awesome. Well, thanks for listening and thanks for joining us on today's episode. If you got value, if you enjoyed this, please drop a comment, leave us a review because we'd like to get the word out about Scaling Together and be sure to tune in for a future episode of Scaling Together.