A Truly Hotter Sex Life

Okay, let's be real. Confidence is sexy in and out of the bedroom. And when it comes to performance, sometimes a little support makes a big difference. So whether you're craving more stamina, fuller erections, or you're just looking to level up your pleasure game, there's a tool that's been helping people feel more empowered for years. Meet Bathmate, the world's leading hydro powered penis pump. These aren't gimmicks. They're FDA registered, backed by science and designed to give real, lasting results. At Bathmate Direct, you'll find pumps that naturally support size, strength and blood flow, helping you experience bigger, harder, more energized erections over time. And because they work with water, they're more comfortable, more effective and way safer than traditional air pumps. With just a few minutes a day, the Bathmate hydro pump can help you increase size and girth, gradually boost confidence in and out of the bedroom, improve stamina and performance, support stronger erections through better blood flow. And the best part, it's all natural, non invasive and totally shower friendly. You can literally work out your sexual wellness while you wash your hair. It's iconic. Right now, Bathmate Direct is giving our listeners 10% off when you use code SW10@bathmate direct.com. that's Bathmate Direct. B A T H M A T E D I r e c t dot com. Use code SW10 for 10% off. So head to bathmate direct dot com, use SW10 and level up your confidence. Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. On today's show. I'm giving you some cold weather sex tips because, let's face it, what else are you going to do in the polar vortex? It's cold out there. I'm helping you through all your sex and relationship inquiries. Topics include turning up the heat, literally, ways to warm up your sex life. So you found yourself in the friend zone. Now how do you get out what to do if you can orgasm, but only when you're thinking about your existence and whether or not it's a good idea to ask a younger guy out on a date? All this and more. Thanks for listening.

Look into his eyes.

They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex.

Eyes that mock our sacred institutions.

Bedroom eyes, they call them, in a bygone day.

Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend?

Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standards.

Oh my.

The women know about shrinkage.

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean?

Like laundry, it shrinks.

Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me?

Oh my God, that feels so good.

Being bad feels pretty good.

But you know, Emily's not the kind.

Of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships and everything in between. Check out sexwithemily.com you can check out all the things happening on the show, all of our posts, and all the fun things happening there. We love when you comment and subscribe on itunes. That's amazing for us and it helps the show. We're releasing three podcasts a week. You can check them out every where you listen to podcasts. Plus I'm on Sirius XM Radio Stars channel 109 Monday through Friday, 5 to 7 Pacific. And you guys can get a free 30 day trial visit. Sex with emily.comsxm and the cool thing is you can still call in during those hours. I'm there answering your questions. 88947, 8277. As always, follow me on exemily across the board at all social media. You should actually do that right now because we're doing some great Valentine's Day giveaways. So if you go there, you'll check it all out and you can win some cool stuff. Hope you guys enjoy the show. I thought since it's cold outside, we can talk about some sex hacks to keep things steamy this winter. Mm. Yeah, because it's like a lot of people are staying inside. You're freezing, you're cold, you're like, how can I get in the mood for sex? And I love giving some sex hacks.

So I feel like you're just. Everyone's just like curled up in a ball and they're just like, I wanna have sex, babe, but I can't move, right?

Cause I'm freezing. Right? When you get home, you just like, yeah, right? You just wanna settle in. Like maybe you're just like eating more comfort food. You're not feeling sexy. So one thing is this is just something that is a scientifically proven fact is that wearing socks during sex, if a woman wears socks during sex, she is more likely to orgasm. She just is. So leave those socks on. I haven't tested that one, but it comes up all the time. Lots of studies hearing about it for years.

Yeah, I was just about.

It reminded me of winter.

I was just about to ask you that if you've ever done that. Cause I was trying to think of. I'm like, have I ever left my Socks on. And I don't think that I. That I have. Cause I mean, I guess it's just kind of weird. Like you're completely naked but you have socks on.

I know. Like you can get some cute fluffy knee socks. I actually have some cute fluffy knee socks that maybe I will wear socks.

Oh yeah, don't have socks. Isn't that like a thing? Like you know, like the button down shirt with the long partner socks?

Yes, I have those. So I think I'll just do that. I won't take the socks off. Exactly. The other thing is we're drinking tea anyway. Drink some hot tea and bring that into the living room. Maybe you're watching like some Netflix with your partner. Netflix and chilling. And when you have some hot tea, make it peppermint tea. And then you give a surprise oral to your partner. That is gonna feel great because the warm sensation. Remember this sensation play. You guys, this is a. This is something that a lot of people don't think about. But when you are playing with different senses with your partner and even if you're giving them oral, it can feel great to kind of use some. Warm up your mouth with hot tea. Peppermint tea would make it even a little bit more tingly.

And that's cool because it's kind of the best of both worlds because you have the hotness from it being hot tea and then the coolness from the mint of the peppermint.

Exactly. It's a mixture of all senses. And then the other thing, One of my favorite things, if you want to play with sensory play is to put a blindfold on your partner. And you could do this also without a blindfold. But massage candles, like tis the season for massage candles. We love massage candles. It's essentially not your regular candle at home. I'm not saying give them massage with a candle. I'm saying a massage candle. That's actually you. You light these massage candles and they turn into. You blow it out, you let the wax, the oil pool because it's actually oil. And you let it pool for a few minutes or, you know, a minute. And then it turns into warm, luxurious oil that you pour in your partner's body. And it doesn't get like messy or waxy or, you know, sticky. It just is luxurious. And you put it on your partner's body, give them a massage. We've got some on our site. We've got the Ignite Me Cand, which we love. And Jimmy Jane was one of the first to make massage candles that I love. But when you blindfold your partner, all the other senses become heightened. So you could. Even though it's cold, it's fun to maybe have some ice cubes by the bed, even though it's winter. But if you warm up with a candle and then you drag over some ice cubes over their body and then you blow on it, and you could just play with different senses and different temperatures.

I think going from one temperature to the next, like, it's really cool. Like, that feeling is, you know, when you go. You're like in a. You're in the Jacuzzi for a really long time and it gets too warm, and then you jump into the. To the pool and it's super cold. But when you get back into the Jacuzzi, it feels, like, so much better and more tingly.

Yes. That's what you can do for your genitals or your partner.

Not with the Jacuzzi, but.

Not with the Jacuzzi. But the hot to the cold. The hot to the cold. So I know these are all fun things. You could do the little oral, and then you could also use those breath strips in your mouth when you're giving oral. Oh, the Listerine strips. Those are really cool, too. And then the other thing is, if you haven't played around with glass toys or steel, like dildos, which is actually a toy that doesn't vibrate, you can make them hot or cold. You can put one in a warm water. Like, get a pot of warm water, let it sit for a few minutes, and then, you know, put the toy in hotter water till the temp. You know, get the temperature you desire. Then you could test it out. And like, a glass toy can feel really cool for insertion. You can even use it to, like. You can use them as, like, a massage. Like, if you're using a candle, you could use them as like a. A role, like, to kind of massage your partner as well on their body.

Yeah. And the. The cool thing about the. The steel and the glass, it's like. It is just like this different sensation of, like. Because it's like glass and steel is so smooth.

Right.

So when you play it, like, you know, it's just. It's just different. It's just a different feeling. I. The Enjoy.

Enjoy. Yeah, the Enjoy wand.

The Enjoy wand. I finally tried that. I, like, cooled it down a little bit. I was a little scared. Okay, so this is the thing. I was scared because my friend. I was telling my friend about it. I was like, I'll put it in the. You know, put it in the Freezer and. And then use it. And they're like, well, what if you get that, like that Christmas story situation where he, like, stuck his tongue to the pole and he got stuck.

Oh, right.

And they're like, that's gonna happen to your vagina. I'm like, no, it's not.

That's not gonna happen. That doesn't happen with my voice.

But I, like, I tested it very slowly. Cause I was like, what if that does happen? Like, she got in my head. I was like, fuck. Oh, my God.

And it, like, sticks to your. Inside your vagina. God, that would be. No, I don't think that's gon. So you haven't used it yet. You could use it at room temperature. It's not gonna stick to you. You could actually, you know, reconcile that. But that would be pretty funny. You'd have to take a picture.

Yeah. You would be the only person I would, of course, send it to be like, Emily. It happened. But no, no, I, like, I tried it and it didn't. But the way I guess what I did, instead of putting it just, like, straight in the freezer is I just took, like, a bunch of ice packs and wrapped it around and then.

Did you try it?

Yeah. And it felt amazing.

It was like.

Just like.

It's, like, coolness. Yeah. Even if it's hot, you can be under your sheets and then your warm covers that use, like, a cold. Oh, I should define my njoy and do that too. You are inspiring me for the weekend. The njoy is a is. It's great for penetration for women. Like, if you haven't found your G spot yet or you just, like, internal stimulation, It's a different kind of pressure than using a vibrator. And it feels really good. It's called the enjoy. We'll put this all in the show notes. And the other thing is, for warm weather, cold weather, cold weather sex. This is such a fun time of year to have sex in the shower, take a bath together with your partner. When was the last time you did that? Or yourself take a bath by yourself? This is like the bathing season. So, you know, you could. I don't know. Like, I, you know, I'm a huge fan of everyone masturbating. And especially for women, a lot of us, you know, what prevents us from wanting to have sex and what prevents us from wanting to masturbate is that a lot of it is. We're anxiety stressed. We don't make the time. But when you get into a bath and you, like, put in, like, your Favorite bath salts. Like, don't be saving them for, like, another day. Like, use them to pamper yourself. Your whole body just becomes relaxed, and you're more likely to get out. Use your favorite oil. Masturbate or with your partner. Take a shower. Take a warm shower.

And a lot of sex toys, if you are using a lot of them are waterproof or splash proof. And they'll usually say, like, on the box and stuff. So you can bring your toys with you.

Yeah, true that. It's true. Bring toys into the tub.

Toys in the tub. I love it. But my favorite thing ever, though, for sex in the shower is definitely this. Sports sheets.

Yes.

Sex in the Shower kit.

Yeah, there's a. There's a. Yeah, it's called Sex in the Shower, and it's a line of products that are made just for sex in the shower. Because the deal with sex shower sex is it sounds really fun and romantic and sexy and hot, but in when you actuality try to do it, it's like people can slip, they can fall. You think that water's a lubricant, but it's not. You need to add loop. So the Sex and the Shower line, they make products like a suction handle that sticks to the wall. So you are stur. They make a. This is my favorite, the vi. It never gets old for me. The vibrating loofah. It's like a loofah sponge, but it has a little vibrator in it, like one of those little bullet vibes so you can play in the shower. And they have lubes and things.

And it's concealed really well in the loofah, so it looks like just a regular loofah.

Yeah, you can't tell what it is. So I had that in my shower for a long time. I need to get a new one. Do we have any more here? I might take that home for a weekend, so I think that is fun, too. You can check this all out on our website. We've got a little store there if you want to do some shopping or just some looking or think of ways that you can continue to, you know, stay warm when it's cold out and turned on and happy. All right, Those little tips here. All right, we're gonna take a quick break, and then we'll come back with more.

We're gonna talk to Paul, who's 48 in California, and he's being put in the friend zone, and he's trying to get out.

Paul, tell me everything.

Hi, Emily. It's a pleasure to talk to you. And I really enjoy your station. I just got into it. I need a relationship, an answer to my relationship question here. I've been put in the friend zone by this wonderful girl that I met right after I got divorced. Well, about two years after I got divorced, we started dating. Nothing was serious. It was more. I was just really. I was nervous. I was very nervous. And to get in her new relationship and, and we started to become really close friends, doing a lot of things together and everything. And, and when things started getting a little serious, she backed off and said that she wasn't ready. Well, I kind of like took that as okay, well, I'll be here as your friend. I'm always here for you. And, and decided to keep on, you know, with, with dating and stuff. And I did. I, I dated. And, and while I'm dating, I still get calls and texts and emails from her constantly. She tells me her problems with her relationships, her sexual relate, I mean, stuff in her sex life. And I, I'm just kind of like, you know, I'm there to hear for her to hear it and I'm kind of uncomfortable by it. I don't know what to do.

So what do you want? No, I get it. I get everything here. So here's the thing. You. You had feelings for her or are you saying that you still have feelings for her? Like, what do you want from this relationship? Do you think it's actually eventually going to turn around? You still love her and want to be with her?

Yeah, I would love to be with her. She's, I mean, she's everything that I, you know, we were very compatible at the beginning and she travels a lot on her business and she's always finding, you know, relationships that don't work. And she's been in, through, probably in the past year and a half, she's probably been into three relationships and I don't know.

Yeah, okay, so Paul, what you gotta do is listen. You can't be her friend anymore. If you still, if you love her and you want to be with her, that's the only way you're going to be able to figure out what can actually happen with your relationship. If you let her know that I still have feelings for you. I want this to be more than friends. And so I'm gonna, we're gonna have to cut contact for a little bit because it's not easy for me to hear about all these relationships you're in. I think we should be together. I think we're meant to be together. We have this great connection. But I can't be available to hear about all these guys you're dating that aren't working. That just doesn't work for me. And it's also keeping you from meeting new people, Paul. Cause you're still there. And she calls and you want to be that friend, but I think once you like. And that's a very strong move, and that might actually. Who knows what could happen. But either way, you're gonn answer and you're gonna be able to move on with your life, either with her or without her.

Well, I did do something like that last year. I mean, this was like near the holidays. I did tell her we went out to eat, and she invited me out, you know, to eat. And I, you know, we spent a long time talking and I, I did give her that. That, you know, hey, I feel like, you know, I care for you very much. I'm tired of seeing these relationships. I would like to. To start one with you and go forward. And I never got an answer. She just like, there's no answer.

Yeah, but then the next time she called you. But then the next time she called you with a problem, you probably texted her back and said, oh, yeah, let me help you with this guy. So you have to stick to your boundaries.

I am too nice of a guy.

I know.

Be this nice to yourself then, Paul. Be this nice to yourself and don't waste any more time with someone who's not going to be able to return the love in the way that you need it. Maybe if you guys are truly meant to be friends, you will be. But it sounds like you are a nice guy and you want to be in a relationship. So. You said it once, but she didn't get an answer. There's nothing to answer there. You were telling her, I can't be with you unless we're romantic. And then she didn't give you an answer. And I'd say, no answer is an answer. She was like, okay, well, I'm not gonna say anything here, but I still need his advice because he's a really good friend.

Right, right. No, I get it. I just thought. I just thought, you know, because, I mean, she's always wanting to know about my sexual relationships with the women I'm with. She's always wanting. Giving me graphic detail on some of her relationships. And I'm. I'm uncomfortable. I'm thinking, wow, is this something you're into or. I don't know.

One more conversation with her then, Paul. One more conversation with her and you say, listen, I brought this up a year ago. And I just need some clarity on this. You know, how I feel about you. I love you. I think I care about you.

And you're telling me these things about your sex life and relationships. I want more from our relationship. Like, I think about being with you and having sex with you, and. So is that something that. That is interesting to you? Are you. Are you into me in that way? See what she says. And then if not, you're gonna have to just cut the communication. Not forever. Maybe for six months. No social media, unfollower everywhere, you know, and don't just. Then you're gonna realize it might be really hard and you'll miss her. Or maybe, who knows? She'll really miss you and realize that she has feelings. But right now, keeping it how it's been the last two years, nothing's changed. So you got to make a change. If you want to see some change, you got to do something different here. And I'm not gonna be easy.

I will.

You're gonna have to pull back. I know, Paul. I know it's not here, but it's true. Okay, Paul, do that and then let me know. It goes. We'll help you find someone else that. We're here every night. Okay. Thanks, Paul. I just want you to get what you. I want us all to get our needs met, you know? 888-947-8277 we used to get the friend zone a lot. That's a really interesting question. Like the guys. I guess women fall into the friend zone too, but we often hear from guys like, why is it. And you know, why you fall into the friend zone? If you're like, driving, you're like, I'm always in the friend zone. It's because you're leading with being a great friend. Because you're not leading with. I'm interested in you and leading with your letting. Being that man that's like desirous of a partner and letting them know, like, I'm interested in having sex with you and being intimate. I'm not your best friend. I'm not changing your tire. I'm not picking up your medicine at Walgreens. Like, I'm not your best friend. I'm not your friend. And I think a lot of times men are somehow told, I don't know. Ken was always in the friend zone. You wanna talk about that? Ken's happily married now, but I believe that Ken was a friend zone guy.

Yeah, for years, right? Yeah, years and years.

And why, though? Why do you think that Was, can you give us some insight into the mind of a friend zone guy?

Well, at least for me, yeah. So at least this friend zone guy. So one, it was a lot about self confidence where, you know and I know, which is strange because you know me now and Shane and Dan who are sitting over there, know me now and I'm sometimes too confident. But when it came to relationships, I never had the confidence. So like a lot of guys, I think they wait for the woman or a partner to make the first move and to be aggressive. So when that wasn't happening, the thought was, I'm a nice guy, you know, and so the approach was.

I would do everything I would want to do to show the person.

What kind of person I was and wait for the response. And if the response was, wasn't romantic, I would either, you know, continue, continue to be that, that nice guy and, and not ask. And then.

Then I would, I would wind up with, you know, with, with girls that I like. In high school, I remember we went out, we'd go out all the time and, and finally I took so much nerve and I got up the nerve and I, and I, and I did just what you just said. And I said, do you want to go out as more than friends? And she was like, no. And I'm like, okay, well I guess we'll just continue just like we are. And because in my head it was still like, okay, I'm just gonna keep doing the same path because that's all I knew how to do.

Right, because you're a nice guy too. And you're like, well, if I show that I'm a good person, like my mom raised me, I'm a good guy, I have error, I have emotions, right?

You just expect it, you just expect it to happen. And you know, and that led to my first marriage because she was the first one, you know, that was, she was the first one. She's like, oh, actually, well, she was the first, she was the first one that pursued me. And, and it was, and it was, and it was interesting and the, the. So when it was a short lived marriage and you know, and luckily I learned a lot from it, that changed how I approach relationships. But the, the interesting thing, and I found out years later that two, at least two of the girls that I was friend zoned with were waiting for me to ask them out.

Oh, you never even asked them out. You just assumed that if I was.

There, I was there.

That's another end of the friend zone, you're right. With guys who never Even get there, they're like, I assume that she's gonna let me know because it is confident.

It is. I have to say it was never.

Rejection and all those things.

Yeah, it was. I would just, I didn't, I didn't know how. And we would go and to me it was like, okay, we would go out and do things and you know, I would always be thinking, is this a date? Do I, you know, I don't know how to, how to do this. I would never be aggressive, certainly not aggressive sexually. Nothing ever came for it. And I was never in a position like Paul's where it, where, where it's, it's probably, you know, he started off in a romantic relationship with her or at least semi, semi dating and then, you know, he probably representing something very safe for her. And you know, but it wasn't, it wasn't what she wanted. She wanted, you know, who knows, something different. But I luckily was never in that position. It was, it was always waiting for it to happen.

Right, exactly. You guys can't wait around for your life to happen to you.

Let's take an email right now and this one is kind of a doozy, so bear with me here. Okay, so this is from Lena, who's 30 in California. She write, hi Emily. I spent half of my 20s in an on and off relationship with my college boyfriend. It was immature and complicated, but extremely passionate. Always crazy in love. After we broke up, we were intimate with other people while still being intimate with each other. We wanted to up together but wanted to experience other things first to see if it was meant to be. I finally gave another man a chance, which is when my ex finally decided he wanted to be with me. But I was getting older and didn't want to risk losing this new person that could be good for me. Fast forward. I married the guy after my ex. My ex is married to someone else and we've quote unquote, moved on. I love my husband. He's amazing. The sweetest, kindest man. But our sex is a lot more mellow compared to with my ex. My concern is that I'll never have the same connection with my husband that I shared with my ex. And I'm only able to orgasm ever by thinking about my ex. This makes me feel extremely guilty and frothy and this happens every single time. Any advice on how to erase past memories?

Oh, this is a really good question, Lena. Thanks for this question because, because I think this can be, this is relatable in a lot of different ways. I think we tend To. There's a lot of things going on here. We tend to glorify our past relationships. We get out of them. We have this thing called euphoric recall where our ex, when we first break up, we're like, yeah, we're breaking up with them. It's not great, but like a week, a month, we put them on this pedestal where all we can remember, all the amazing things. Sex was so amazing, was the best sex I ever was. Such a great connection. And we, our brains love to kind of attach to things that are gonna disrupt us from having happiness. Okay. There is a negativity bias the way our brains are just wired. So once we all get comfortable with that, knowing that we can change those thoughts, the better off we're all gonna live here. So I wanna know what I think is going on here as Leena, is that it's kind of. This has become a mechanism or a tactic for you not consciously to not really have to be present in your relationship with your husband. So I feel like this might be a way to be avoiding a real kind of intimacy with your husband. Because you always thinking about this ex, you've created this whole story that it was the 10 years. Like, this is your story. Like, I bet you tell the story to your friends and you tell the story like the one that got away. We get attached to these things, right? But I feel like he's moved on. You've been in a relationship now for how long? 10 years you've been with him. Are you married to this guy? How long have you been with your husband now? But the point is, you need to talk to your husband about spicing it up and get your brain out of the past and then moving into some future that we never know is going to happen with. If you think you're going to break up with your husband, end up with the ex, that is not going to happen. I really think that this is a great time for you to turn towards your husband and be like, let's talk about our sex life. What can we do that would be really interesting to spice things up and to make things interesting to both of us. I mean, sex is about both of you. You don't have to solve it on your own. So if it just mellow with your husband, he probably thinks it's fine. He has no idea that you might be needing something else. And I promise you, if you had amazing sex, amazing orgasms with your ex, it's completely possible to create something like that, but probably better with your husband, who you've committed A life to. So the only thing missing here, Lena, literally the only thing you have to do is practice when you're thinking about this ex and all these things is going towards your husband, not away from him. Have been saying, babe, how can we work on our sex life? What can we do together to make it more interesting, to spice it up, Try some toys, talk about fantasies. I mean, there's a whole lot of things we talk about here on the show.

Okay, should we take an email?

Yes, I want to do this one here.

All right, so we have Tammy, 50 from USA, which, you know, most of you are, but that's fine. She writes. Hi, Emily. Recently found your show. It's become my new favorite podcast, slash radio show. Love it. Anyways, I'm 50 years old, but when I meet people, they think I'm in my mid to late 30s because I'm active, in shape and healthy. I'm single and have been for some time. I've been working out with a trainer and found myself crushing on him. We have a lot of the same interests, but the issue is he's 31. I know people have issues with this big of an age gap. I don't because I don't see myself as a 50 year old woman, whatever that's supposed to look and act like. Dudes my age are older and too busy talking aches and pains and I just don't have time or any desire to deal with that. I'm afraid to ask this guy out, primarily due to the age thing. I've never done it before and I'm scared. What do you think?

Oh, okay. Tammy, this is a great question. First of all.

I totally get it. I look a lot younger than I am and I feel like I often do go out with younger guys. That's just how it happens. 20 year age difference is a lot. I get that too. But I don't really think that age has to matter if you feel compatible with them. So now is this someone that you think you're gonna have a long relationship with? Are you just looking for sex? I mean, I feel like if you're honest and you ask them out for coffee or for a drink and you, you know, see what happens, I think that maybe you could have some. Some great chemistry with them and some fun sex, but I don't. I'm not gonna judge you on this. I think there's a lot of older men dating younger women and older women dating younger men. So I feel like you're right on board here with saying that. Like, if that's what you're into and you're attracted to them. I mean, I was just texting with a friend who's 48 and she's dating a 22 year old. Like I right before the show. Dating, like flirting with, not probably gonna spend the rest of her life with. Maybe he's 25, but they're having sex and it's fun and they're doing things, so you never know where things are gonna go in life. Sure, maybe one day he's gonna want kids or a family or things can change. But right now, if you're really honest and you're like, ask him out, and there's a connection and you have sex and you guys keep protecting your own, you talk about what you both want and your goals, I don't see how you could both get. Get hurt with this. If you're honest, maybe you'll just have some amazing sex and it'll get your motor flowing again and then you'll be ready to go out and date some more. I don't have a problem with this.

Yeah, at least when you go for it, you know, you tried, you know your answer. And then I feel like, I mean, what's the age? Because I feel like when you're younger, especially like in high school or young 20s, and you find out someone likes you and you don't like them back, like you, you get all awkward and you're all like, oh, no. Like, I can't like talk to them normally because they like me, but I've never been that way. I've always been like, yeah, I know you like me, I just don't feel the same way. But I think we could be friends.

Right? Because you're saying, what could the damage be here be? I think that he'll probably still. She could enter. So, Tammy, you could say to him in a way that's like, hey, I feel like there's this connection. I'd love to get a drink with you sometime if you're into it. And then he could be like, if he says yes or no, or I have a girlfriend, you can say, you can switch it. We're adults. We don't have to hold onto it like we're 12.

Yeah.

If you don't feel rejected by this and you, maybe it's better just to be honest because your attraction is gonna keep going, so you might as well just, you know, face it. So I think being honest is the best way to do it. But if you decide it's uncomfortable and you don't have to train with him anymore. But this age thing comes up a lot. I think that there was a study that came out last year that said 10 years is the cutoff. Like 10 years and younger is when 10 years or less is when the age gap works. But when it's over 10 years, like for long term relationships, like it doesn't sound like Tammy's looking for long term hair. Maybe just some fun. Yeah, that typically doesn't work. But I feel like you hear exceptions to every, you know, in every case. And I think that, you know, a lot of us are living longer, we're going in second marriages, second relationships, that it just happens. But I think again, you guys like everything. It comes down to communication and thinking if you both have the same goals or you want the same things, even if it's just sex.

Like.

Like, define that. Thanks everyone for listening. Hope you love the show. Thanks to my amazing team, Ken, Samantha, Julia, Michelle, producer Jamie and Michael. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com.

There's one overlooked mineral behind better sleep. Sharper focus, stronger muscles and a healthier heart. And at least half of us aren't getting enough. Most people don't realize they're running low on one of the most vital minerals for human magnesium. And here's the thing, no single form of magnesium can deliver all of its benefits. That's exactly why Qualia Magnesium plus was created with 10 highly bioavailable forms of magnesium plus over 70 essential minerals. It provides total magnesium support, helping you sleep better, think clearer, move stronger and feel your best every day. And honestly, when you're less stressed and more energized, your intimacy and desire naturally benefit too. Sure, magnesium magnesium can help you sleep, but Qualia Magnesium plus goes beyond that. It's a whole body nourishment for how you think, move, connect and feel. More than just a sleep supplement. It's a foundation for daily well being which absolutely supports a healthier sex life. Getting enough magnesium from food alone is harder than ever due to depleted soils and chronic stress and our body's reduced ability to absorb it as we age. Well, Qualia's Magnesium plus formula is non gmo, vegan, gluten free and designed so all the ingredients work together for comprehensive of magnesium support. And personally, I've been taking Qualia Magnesium plus in the evenings and I really notice calmer nights and clear mornings and just feeling more grounded in my body which always makes intimacy feel more accessible and enjoyable. It's become such an easy part of my nightly routine experience the most trusted magnesium for your purity, potency and performance, go to qualia life.comsexwithemily for 50 off. And here's a bonus Use the code code Sex with Emily for an additional 15 off your order. That's Q-U a L I a life.com sexwithemily thanks for Qualia for sponsoring this episode.