Adventures in Foreskin

Stop what you're doing and listen closely because Bellesa and I are giving away free spicy toys or gift cards to every single one of you. That's right. Everyone who signs up wins something. And if you haven't heard of Bellesa, let me put you on. They're a bi woman for everyone company that's completely flipping the script on sexual wellness. And now they're hooking you up. You've definitely seen Bellesa's viral toys all over your for you page. Like the rose, it blew up for a reason. This little flower shaped suction toy is iconic.

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I didn't drip anything on you.

No, you didn't. But I was with someone and I was like, God, you know, I've used them, but it's been like. I mean, oh, there's a comma.

There was a comma there.

I actually used it with someone recently and they poured it on me and I forget. Like, it truly is. It's. All of a sudden you just feel sexy and you kind of sink into the moment. And then he rubs it all over your body and it just. You can rub it on her body, whatever. It feels amazing. And you have incredible sex. And the feedback has been outstanding. One of my listeners wrote, my girlfriend was skeptical at first, but agreed to try the warm oil on me first and gave me a back rub. Then I reciprocated and we had amazing sex. She could not stop talking about how good the candle smells, how how great the massage oil feels. And I'm convinced that the scent and the candle helped us through some of the barriers to sex that we have faced lately. So I basically created these candles so you can have the best sex of your life. So go to emilyandtoni.com anytime. Use code EMILY for 20% off your first order. That's emilyandtoni.com. use code sex with or use code Emily. Oh, sex with Emily. Whatever. Use code sex with Emily. That's the best thing to do. Thanks for listening.

Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them, in a bygone day. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend?

Cuz My man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. A girl's gotta have her standards. Oh, my.

Do women know about shrinkage?

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me?

Oh, my God, I feel so drunk.

Being bad feels pretty good.

You know, Emily's not the kind of.

Girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com where you can, you know, subscribe to our podcast. There's an Easy button there. You just press subscribe and then we do two shows a week. And you will never, ever miss another show again. And really easy to listen to. You can download the Podcast One app, the iTunes podcast app. And so super easy. And you'll get them. And you can also, once you do that, if you happen to be in itunes, you can rate the show, tell us what you think of it. Love it, love it, love it. I'm here with Anderson.

Hola.

It's so good to see you. Hola. I did just get back from Mexico. I know I've been traveling a lot lately, but this was my first true vacation.

Was it like a compound? Was it like one of those club med places?

What was it? No, it was a beautiful hotel in Tulum, Mexico, which is the Yucatan peninsula. You fly into Cancun, and I went with some friends from San Francisco, and it was just the most idyllic, beautiful hotel. I have to show you pictures on the beach.

Was it Hido missing Sexy.

Was it? Yeah.

Have you ever been to the Jamaican hido?

Yeah, but they wanted me to come for free once.

And, like, that's weird that they would want you. Sex with Emily down at Heedo.

You know, I could get a lot more bang for my buck here.

Did you be disabled?

I didn't, but I could bang for.

Actually, you could get a lot of.

Bang for my buck. Wait, that could be a good tagline eventually for my show. Bang for. Get a great bang for your buck. And it doesn't even cost you a buck. It's free podcast. Mexico was great because I had been traveling a lot. I was in Israel with my family, which was wonderful. But family doesn't equal vacation.

Israel, Mexico, they were kind of synonymous, though, right? Very synonymous.

Not at all. And I, like, laid on the beach, went for a run. I love running on the beach. I meditated every day, hung out with friends, had great meals. It's kind of this hippie. Tulum has been really built up over the years.

I've never heard of Tulum. Ever heard of it? Never heard of it.

The Yucatan peninsula. You fly in Tayun. Hour and a half. You drive. And yeah, it was super chill. And I got to read and hang out, whatever. Yeah.

Speaking of beaches and sex in the news, I got something for you. It just occurred to me, go Venice beach here, Locally, California. There's been like, I think I don't have my facts straight. Cause I didn't do the research. It just came to me. But I heard today there's been like a 4050 year ban on nude sunbathing. They're trying to lift it.

No.

Yeah. Venice beach tabloid.

Oh, my God, that would be insane.

Not done yet, but they're working on it.

Well, that's so funny that you say that, really, because first of all, that would be insane because there's really, you know, like, San Francisco had one new beach, it was Baker. First of all, no one goes to the beach like three times a year.

San Diego's got Black's Beach, I think.

It'S called, but it's like a little tiny off the beaten path.

You gotta hike to get there.

No, same with San Francisco beach on Baker Beach. But Venice beach, naked Santa Cruz has got one.

I went to it by mistake. It's usually old people that you don't want to see naked anyway.

Yeah, but. Okay, well, it's funny that you say that because I was with a bunch of guy friends and girlfriends in Mexico, and one of my guy friends looks at me. We're sitting on the beach one day and there was some women topless. You know, people from all over the world. Typically, it's not the Americans, like the Europeans. So he looks at me and he's like, see, what am I supposed to do about that? Look at her. Look at her. I'm not supposed to be turned on right now, like, because he doesn't. He's not really into being monogamous right now. And he's struggling with this girl he's dating. He's like, look at that, she's hot. And I'm like, she's really. Okay, got it. And he's staring at her and then all these women walking by. And we had this whole thing about monogamy because he's just like, what are you supposed to do about that? Like, a woman takes her top off at the beach, like, no matter what. How do you.

What. It's like the guy with the foot fetish, I mean, he's probably got the same problem when he's.

He doesn't have a. No, it's a chick naked fetish. Who doesn't have a.

No, I know, but guys that like the feet, like, whenever they go to a place where the shoes and socks are off, it's like going, oh, boner time. You know what I mean?

Yeah, but this is a universal. If you're at the beach with your wife, everybody knows a chick, blonde chick, who's like 24 years old, dark hair, chick.

You.

Me, with no top. The only time I had no top on was when I was. Went backpacking after College. I went to Cannes. Cannes, Cannes, Cannes. With my best friend, Lisa. And we were on the beach and we thought, okay, warm France, let's take our tops off. And we're like 21 years old, a little awkward. And we're lying there, we're like, okay, it's a little scary. And then these American dudes come up and start talking to us. And then it's completely awkward. We're, like, covering ourselves. Like, we don't want to talk to American dudes.

Especially when you're in France.

No, have the French guys come up.

You want a stinky cheese flavored dude? Yeah.

I felt like the wrong thing to do. But Venice beach naked would just be without the pot and all the crazy.

For the record, I'm very against it.

You are? Why?

Because parking's already ridiculous down there. And the parking spots cost so much money in the lots that they're all gonna double, triple.

Oh, my God. And it's already a spectacle. Like, there's so much to see there. You know, you see the homeless people doing their charades. You see Muscle beach, there's pot stores, like every five feet. And then you throw in breasts.

Yeah, It's Satan's playground already. Yeah. Once you put the nipples in there, it's game over.

Yeah, I'm not into that, but it would be great to go every once in a while. But I'm not into that for Venice. Venice already has enough problems as it is. Okay.

Plus, the homeless people will probably start getting naked. We don't need that.

Yeah, the homeless people. You're right. Like, San Francisco homeless people are naked. Everyone's naked, though, in San Francisco. Yeah. That's interesting. Sex in the news, because I've got some coming up. But also another thing coming.

Soon. Masturbation month.

You do that on purpose?

No, I can't help it. It is coming soon. It's May. May is masturbation month. Are you ready? This is an important month. We talk about it every year. Because you really. I cannot emphasize enough the importance of masturbation for men and for women. Getting to know your own body, which is. Does change over time, as we know things that you liked when you were younger, you. You might elect now. And our body has such an amazing capacity for pleasure that a lot of times you're not gonna find it with your partner. It's by sticking a finger in weird places that you wouldn't normally. In strange places or touching your nipples. What? A woman playing with her nipple. You know, I'm obsessed with the breastgasm. Okay. I gotta practice what I preach. If it's the second most common orgasm, I've never had a breast orgasm. But let me be honest.

You like unicorns too?

I've never worked on it. You don't believe me. You think I made that up, But I've never really, like, focused on, can I have one? Can I have one? You know, no guy's ever been like, let's give you one. So that's my thing. You know what? This year I'm gonna have you know what, in May. I'm gonna spend every day trying to have a nipple orgasm. And by the end of May, I will have one.

That's how you're gonna celebrate?

Will you remind me that I said this? Yeah, I'm gonna celebrate with it. Yeah. I'm just saying is that we all get set in our ways of how we have an orgasm. And yet I'm here to tell you, as I have before, that our bodies have an immense capacity for pleasure. And this is the month to go crazy.

Who's the Asian dude that can give you an orgasm without touching you? He covers his hand over your vagina.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And he like pulls it out of you?

You mean he's from India, The Indian guy?

Is he Indian? I don't know.

There's an Indian guy who does that. And I've seen a film. A friend of mine has a film coming out about this and she actually went to see him and he like waves his hand over this woman and she has like a full body orgasm, placebo effect, right? Who the hell knows? But I'm going to India.

Yeah, you gotta get for May. You should do that.

That's a lot to do. Maybe I'll just masturbate on the plane the way there. Yeah. No.

Oh, I saw a video of a girl doing that the other day online.

What? Masturbating on a plane?

Yeah.

Was it real or was it.

Oh, yeah. Her boyfriend was like shooting on his iPhone and he was like, you know, panning so you could see other people on the plane there in first class.

Did she have a blanket over her lap?

A little bit. But then she's like got a little bit, you know, crazy. Pulled it all out. Yeah, she pulled it all out.

Wow. Was it hot?

All over. Pink parts.

Was it hot? It was like a voyeur.

It was risky. Risky. All of her pink parts I saw.

Did she have hair or no hair? Like, what's attract trend lately? I'm just wondering if hair is coming back.

I think there are people that are Saying that it's coming back. But those are probably people that are sick of shaving.

It's a pain in the ass, I gotta be honest. But I get it. I get it. The bush is bad. I just think it's coming back a little bit. Maybe I should say stubble's coming back as I say scruffle.

The strip is back.

The strip is back. Okay, another thing I want to tell you really quickly is that May 12, I'm doing a live show. I'm gonna be guest on a live show with Lynette Carolla. Her podcast is crying, for crying out loud. And it's gonna be. It's May 12th at Tinhorn Flats in Hollywood off Highland Avenue. 8pm Doors open at 6. Free admission. There will be alcohol served.

That's a Tuesday.

It's an unfiltered take on relationships, sex and life. And I love this woman. I friggin adore Lynette. She is hilarious. Her podcast is great. She's awesome. And we're gonna have a blast. So I wanna see you there. I wanna meet you. But come say hi. Damn it. It would be awesome to see you. How are you, Anderson? It's been a while. Anything you need to tell me you.

Feel like you keep saying it's been a long time. I feel like I saw you just a minute ago.

You did see me a week ago, but I was the.

You've been through a lot, so.

Yeah, I've been through a lot since I've seen you. Customs, for example.

Time zones. I get it. But yeah, not much has happened. It's been pretty much, you know, a couple days a week. Same old stuff.

How's the quitting smoking thing?

I took the trash out. Oh. I've not smoked more than. I've smoked seven cigarettes in the last two weeks since April 1st.

Okay.

Which is pretty goddamn good considering I was smoking 20 to 25 a day.

You know, for the last 20 some odd years.

Yeah. Since I was 12. I don't want to get into numbers here, but. But the guys over at Kraft Vapory who you had on your show, I love them. They hooked me up. They're sponsoring me both.

They're sponsoring your quitting?

Like Jenny, they're sponsoring me two different ways. Like they're like. I can call them whenever I. Like I'm having a breakdown. Usually it's like four.

Really? Is it like a hotline? I want to smoke.

Yeah, I can call Josh. He's one of the guys over there. But they hooked me up with everything they give me. Everything I need. And they're hooking up my listeners, anyone who listens to this or the Film Vault or the After Disaster, much like you do with your little promos, which is podcast. Yeah, you just go to craft vapory.com and they have the best, widest selection of different juices. They call them juices. The. Not the analog cigarette. I'm off of analog. It's what they call actually smoking cigarettes. Analog. Go digital. And they have so many great flavors.

Yeah, they're like curators. Right? Like connoisseurs. Send you what you want.

They got tons of stuff. So you go there and if you do get something, you just type. Make sure you type in my name, Anderson, and you get 20% off.

Oh, my God, that's perfect. Well, I'm proud of you because I know it's been a struggle.

It's tough. But you know what? This vaping is making it so much easier. And there's a lot of naysayers. And they're starting to be like commercials now, just like the anti cigarette commercials.

Like secondhand vapor smoke.

They're so annoying. Yes. Because there's no studies. And I've done a ton of research, even talked to Dr. Drew about it, and there are a couple chemicals that might be in question. They're not even sure yet they might be in question. And most of the stuff that Kraft Vapoury has is that chemical free. They're making sure that that's not in their stuff.

So you get the good ones.

And if you have any concerns, call them up. Make sure that those chemicals aren't in there.

That's better than Smok.

I can tell you, every morning I wake up, I feel way better than I did.

Yeah. Good for you. Well, you look good. Perfect. Okay, let's get into some sex in the news.

Let's do it.

All right. Science proves listening to sexy music does get people in the mood. We all know that music has the ability to change our mood. Listening to Taylor Swift's sweet, upbeat lyrics makes you want to jump around the room and hug your enemies. What? Okay. Or Marvin Gaye's Let's Get it on actually makes you want to get it on. So, surprisingly, this is a really interesting, intricate study. So I'm not going to read it all to you, but surprisingly, there's been a ton of research on the psychological effects of sexy song lyrics. And even more surprisingly, those lyrics do a whole lot more than get you in the mood. So you're more likely to give your number out to strangers. And when we say when like by strangers. They don't mean that you're going to start like handing out your number to any.

But like people you just met at.

A bar, right, Exactly.

Or a dance club.

But this shows that this experiment involved 18 to 20 year old male and females. The women were divided into two groups. One listened to romantic music, the other to neutral music. The guys were supposedly administering a market survey, would ask for the numbers during the break. Those who listened to the romantic songs were far more willing to share it. So I don't know what that means. It means that sexy music made them more likely to share it. But the next one is you focus more on people's looks and ignore their personalities.

They say when you're listening to romantic.

Music, when you listen to romantic music. So that's another study that says what.

Makes it more shallow.

So it says they judged profiles when they were dating online in terms of the person's physical appeal rather than, you know, their wholesome characteristics like reliability, honesty, trustworthiness. And then also you might feel anger at the opposite sex. So if it was, if there were sexually aggressive song lyrics, the researchers who were guys, they gave more, they were like serving food to the women and they doled out more chili sauce to the women so they would like their mouth would be on fire because they were angry. And then what was the other one? I don't know. You have more elation and well being. So it's. What's this one? Okay, so your favorite songs, whatever. The thing is, is that it hits the same pleasure centers in your brain, like dopamine, like when you're happy. Neurological researchers found. So everything's more pleasurable. And even when you're anticipating one of your favorite songs, you're dopamine, you're happy, whatever. So listen to some sexy music. And I actually like, I like listening to music during sex, but I'm never the one that instigates because like I need a speaker and I need some good new music. But I looked up like the top 10 songs, like from sex playlists from Spotify, and I don't know a lot of them, to be honest. I know Magic, Coldplay.

I've got another idea. Adore you, Miley Cyrus. Just give me a reason. Pink mirrors, Justin Timberlake. What?

Yeah, I know less about music than you do, especially modern music.

All of me, John Legend, whatever. I think that I like music during sex. Can I tell you why? Because I will tell you, I don't have to ask permission is because I feel that one of the things about sex Why a lot of particularly women might have a hard time getting in the mood or being focused or have orgasm is because we get distracted. So you hear a noise, you're looking at the clock, you're thinking about things. But music can really transport you in the moment.

Helps you keep track of time, too.

What do you mean?

Like, oh, four songs have gone by. It's 20 minutes. Not bad.

No. Who's think that's the problem? You're not thinking that.

I do. Yeah.

During sex you're thinking that. Oh, yeah.

A lot of guys would. Not bad. 20, that's five songs. Maybe three, four minutes a song.

I hope you're in the moment and you're just wanting to bang.

No, guys are definitely keeping track of stuff like that. Am.

Why? Because you don't want the sex to last as long?

Well, no, if you have problems with premature and like, you know, you go too quick or you're not doing enough for her, and then, you know I'm talking about my younger years.

Right. Of course. Now you would just be in the moment.

Junior high. Yeah. I pay attention to how many Depeche Mode songs played. But no, here's an idea. It's a pain in the ass already. Getting the condom on, getting the condom out, opening it up, and then to add a step of like, hold on, let me go find my playlist and plug it into.

When you walk in the house.

You know those greeting cards? You open them up music.

Yeah, but they're like, you can have.

Some sexy music when you open the condom and it just. It plays music out of the wrapper.

Yeah. Don't think so. Oh, a condom that plays music.

That's what I'm saying.

Yeah. Be cheesy music. I don't know.

Fine.

No, but I like your ideas. I like that you're always coming up with creative ways to talk about things. Okay, listen, I love this. You always come up with, like, new condom ideas and sex ideas. Not that I.

Because I never think about this stuff unless I'm sitting here with you.

Okay.

You're always taking me down roads that my mind never.

Dark, dark roads.

No, they're happy sexual roads.

Good. I'm glad. I hope it makes you want to go home and bang your wife.

Not till May.

Masturbation month. What's your goal for masturbation month?

You can think about it. Yeah, I don't know.

All right, get back to that. Okay, so the 10 least attractive phases used in online dating. I love this study because first of all, who isn't dating online these Days no longer a stigma. People aren't all tripped up about it. And it's almost like the go to thing to do, right?

It is the go to thing.

Yeah.

And you can remember when it was really taboo and like, oh, my God, you met them where?

How exactly? I mean, I went to a friend's wedding. I mean, maybe it was about 10 years ago ago now, but she. I knew they met online and they didn't tell anybody. The parents, like, she told me before the wedding. Like, don't mention it. Don't mention it. Now it would be a whole thing, like, oh, my God, we met online. It's just funny how it's changed. So I think that's great. Nothing wrong with online dating. And I've actually been thinking of. Of revisiting it. Not that I've did that much. I did that Tinder date.

Never did anything on the show. Yeah. Oh, my God, I ran into that guy.

Dude, shut up. My blind Tinder date.

Yeah. And it was the strangest thing.

Was he on a date?

Know this is off topic a little bit, but no, I get my hair cut by this girl in Hollywood, right? Just a friend of mine from, like way back when. And actually go to her house and she has a couple chairs in there, but it's like one of those bougie, like Hollywood she lives in, where she works, right? And there's this guy, and he's sitting there and he's talking to his hairstylist because there's two hairstylists in there. And I'm like, I know. I know this guy. And then he comes up, he's like, hey, how do I know you do? And he's asking me all these questions, and then I'm like, I work on Loveline. He's like, oh, I had that date with Emily. What's up? Yeah, yeah, yeah, Chad. His name was Chad.

Chad, yeah. Did. Did he say anything about me?

He was really bummed that you never called him back.

He didn't say that.

Yeah, I swear to God he did. He's like, yeah, I thought it went pretty well, but she never called me back. I don't know what the problem was.

We went on a second date and I didn't kiss him. And then, yeah, it was over. Yeah, he was sweet. He was bummed I wasn't into him. Didn't want to bang him. Okay, so online dating. Back to online dating. But he was great. He was a great Tinder date. He was a great live Tinder date. Couldn't have asked for a better.

He Was fantastic. He was very forthcoming. He was good on mic.

You guys could check that. It's a Tinder show on IG Is what it's titled.

Tinder.

I don't know what it's titled.

I think it was probably titled that.

Maybe it was Tinder Dating Emily's Live Tinder Date. We've got, like, 200 shows up there now. Okay, so no one is claiming that penning an online dating profile is easy. It's tough. It's like writing your own obituary, except in this case, you're trying to convince a woman to go on a date with your dead carcass.

What? Who wrote this?

I don't know.

Okay, what creepy fuck wrote this?

It's like, read your own obituary, said this case. Try to. I don't know. That's not even good writing. But let me tell you the best part of it. It tells you the 10 things. Statements that you are not supposed to say.

Where'd you find this study?

Oh, on the dating website. On mutual terms.com was curious about how the things people say in their profiles were screwing up their chances at finding a match. So they analyzed the least popular profiles and then scrutinized what these profiles had in common. So they dissected them, and they wanted to find out basically their thesis. What dumb shit are these people saying that's keeping them dateless? Ready? Here are the phrases that people use the most that are keeping them from getting dates. This is pretty scientific here, and I agree with all of them.

What are. Is there, like, a top five?

Yeah, here we go. I'm over the bar scene.

Is that bad?

Yeah, that says, like, I'm kind of slutty and hook up with random people, and I'm probably an alcoholic is what I think it says.

But she's over it.

Or he's over it. Yeah, like, I used to be. Like, I go. But they're really not.

All right, that's.

They're just trying to say it, but I don't believe him. Okay, I'm too busy to meet someone. Okay, then you're too busy to date me. Yeah, that's what I think. Okay, I can't. But this is the worst, because this is one I thought has been ruled out years ago. Can't believe I'm online dating. You know, not to say that anymore, because no one can believe it. We all do it now.

And now you're judging the other people that are online.

That's the wor. Yeah, you're judging me because you can't believe I'm online dating. And actually, I have a friend who dates on Tinder all the time. And he's like, yeah, but I can't take any of them seriously, even if he likes them, because he's like, well, I met him on Tinder. I'm like, dude, you're on Tinder getting blowjobs on Tinder. Why can't you take him seriously? So it's this hypocritical thing, and no one can believe they're dating because it's saying, like, you can't believe it and you're disrespecting me. I'm tired of the games. That's not a line, okay? That says, you're just still a game player.

That's number two.

I don't know. It's number four. Whatever. I've gone through. Like, I'm talking faster.

Okay?

Yeah, okay, how about this? I like moonlit walks on the beach.

Oh, no, that could be real. People don't actually write that.

Yeah, they do. You like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain. That song?

Yeah, it's a great song.

Cheesy.

Great song.

Okay, here's this. I live life to the fullest.

Oh, Jesus. One quarter of a mile at a time, man. That's from Fast and Furious.

Okay?

Terrible, terrible life.

That says that they don't do anything. They're home playing video games. To me, it says that they don't.

Have one ounce of creativity or know who they are, and they're just, like, a composite of everyone around them because they have no original fucking thoughts in their heads. Sorry.

Okay, ready? Here's this one. I want to be swept off my feet. Now, you know that women say this, not men. And I'm telling you, that just says that you are super high maintenance. And I want you to send me, like, your bank statement before our first date.

Kind of, yeah.

I want to be swept off, but.

I bet it works.

But that.

I bet you guys are like, hey, I can sweep you off your feet. I got a bank account. I got a fat wallet. I'll sweep your right up.

I don't know. I think that just says you're high maintenance. Like, who does? Like, I. I don't want to be stepped off my feet. You know what? When you get sucked off your feet, those are the ones that don't even last because it's all bs. It's not like really getting to know a person. Here's another one. I work hard and I play hard. I just think these people play harder than they work.

That's another just taking what they've heard a thousand times.

So that's it. So they crazy.

I would think that the worst would be like, like my clan meetings got moved to the morning. I have nights free now. That would probably be the worst.

Dude. These are the most common ones that people say, and these are the least success. Look, do you understand? They analyze the least successful daters who got the least hits and released responses and these are the common statements that they all had. And these are so cliche.

Honestly, any one of those things for me, and I'm pretty tough and I think you might be too. But if I see any one of those things, you just read off. I'm not.

You're out.

But unless she's really hot, you're right.

You know what, can I just tell you something? That that statement, unless she's really hot trumps almost every scenario.

I hate it.

She's a drug addict who, you know, I found like sleeping on the street, who was flashing her breast naked and she slept with six of my friends. But she's really hot.

I got this thing.

Every woman gets like a get out of free jail free card.

People aren't using their blinkers. And I don't know if it's getting worse or I'm getting older and noticing it, but it's like an epidemic. Especially here in Southern California. People just don't use their blinkers. And you're trying to like turn right or something and there's somebody coming down the street and then they turn right in front of you and you could have gone, but they didn't put on their fucking blinker. And I get furious. But then like, as they get closer, if they don't have the blinker on, like I'm flipping people off now and they don't even know why. But then they get closer and it's like if it's a hot girl, which often it is, I'm like, oh, free pass.

Really?

But I hate myself when I do it. But like the anger, the anger just goes away. As soon as I see that it's an attractive girl, I get way less angry.

Because what? Really? Yeah, because she's just hot.

And you're like, hey, yeah, like, oh, she's hot. You're okay. Go ahead.

See what I'm saying?

It's embarrassing.

And I hate to get out of jail free card sucks. I don't know, I kind of like it, but it's not ideal. I mean, I get why it's use your blinker.

Blink it, use it.

You know What? I'm not the wrong person to ask.

I would think you don't. Your car's in the shop right now.

It still is. My cars were in the shop, but they're painting the whole thing. It's taken three weeks. Wasn't my fault. The accident. Exactly. Okay. I just got back from Israel. I was jet lagged. Not my fault. Okay, let's get into the emails from the.

Sounds like it was your fault. You're absolutely the driver at fault though, right?

I was at fault, yes. But they close.

It wasn't really your fault.

Whatever.

I don't want to talk about it. I just want a driver in my next life. Okay, I'm gonna get into your emails.

Here right after I live.

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No, like a real love song. Sexy, sexy song. Okay. Because Promescent is all about. They close the arousal gap, the orgasm gap. So if you've had sex, you probably know that women sometimes takes a little bit longer to get to orgasm, to reach orgasm, men a little quicker. So there's a gap. Sometimes you might even last three minutes or six minutes, but you want to last 12. Promescent is a quickly absorbing delay spray that you can use on your penis. She doesn't have to know that you're using it. You wait 10 minutes, you have sex and you will last longer in bed. That's promescent. Check it out. P R O M E S c e n t.com Change your life. Listen to more music. Have a nice life. Have a good time. Okay, back to emails. Thank you everyone. I love hearing from you. Email me feedbackexwithemily.com youm can also just on a side note, cause sometimes I forget to mention this. It would mean so much to me because at the end of the show we're rushing. If you followed me on Twitter, which is sex with Emily because I give good tweets. I gotta say it's informative. Sometimes people like to learn by reading. They waste their time on Twitter. Waste your time on my tweets. And also facebook.com sexwithemily our page is off the charts. We have like 300,000 likes?

I was gonna ask you how many likes you have.

It's ridiculous because people really like it. Cause it's actually funny and entertaining. And then also Instagram sex with Emily. Do it mans if you love me. Okay, Emily, I really appreciate what you're doing. I love listening to your podcast and getting new information as much as I can. I admit you really helped me a lot from your insight to your personal guests. This is some really good stuff you have and really effective. My question is, how do women feel about uncircumcised men? I'm a 27 year old male who have never had problems receiving oral, vaginal, or any type of sex at all. I'm very well kept, handsome, well dressed, with good hygienic habits. Now that I'm older and more aware, I can't help but wonder what women may think about an uncircumcised penis. Do they want to give less oral or is it all about the same? Whatever it is, I'd love to hear you cover this topic. I'll be patiently waiting on your amazing feedback. Thanks for your time, Mr. Man. Dude, you call yourself Mr. Man. You're totally fine, Mr. Man. I'm so glad you enjoyed the show though, and that it's helped you. That makes me feel good. So thank you for letting me know. And here's the thing about foreskin. Unfortunately, you can't warn them ahead of time, right? There's no like, hey, you know, sending a text like, btw, packing some foreskin, you know, like, there's no way to like warn them before she actually sees it. Cause it's kind of awkward.

Have you ever had like a surprise moment where you're like, yeah.

I mean, whenever I've come across uncircumcised penises, which is a few, maybe two or three, it's always like, oh, okay. But it's not like.

What's your initial response though, honestly?

Well, the first time it happened, I was with a British guy and it was my early 20s. Like, same trip, backpacking when I took my top off.

Yeah, you were just going crazy.

I was going crazy and I slept with this guy, but he used a condom. So I saw it and I was like, oh, interesting. I've never, you know, but I couldn't feel any different. And it didn't like freak me out. I don't think I gave him a blow job or anything.

He didn't handle it much.

I didn't handle it. No, exactly. And I was like, interesting. But it doesn't like nothing. I mean, Honestly, I gotta be honest that most women out there.

Who might even be intimidated or have a look on their face like deer in the headlights is probably because it's just unfamiliar to them, but not cause they think it's gross or weird. They just are like, oh, this is my first rodeo. This is my first uncircumcised rodeo. So if it comes up in conversation, you could give them a heads up so they're not surprised. But I'm not sure how this happens in real life. So here's the thing. Sounds like you have the whole package there, Mr. Man. Oh, there's a lot of.

There's a lot of innuendo's going on.

I don't even mean it. Chances are women who are interested in you are not gonna run in fear when they unzip your pants. However, they might need a little like debriefing on the topic.

Are you doing this on purpose, Em?

Are you.

I mean, you can be honest with me.

It just comes to me. Oh my God. That was.

Dude, this happens all the time to me. It can't help it. Okay. If you're not sure how to pleasure it or how to accommodate the extra skin that you're packing. That was on purpose. If you suspect that she's taken aback, you just might want to say something like, show her how you'd like to be touched. Because there are some women who are pleasers, you know, tell her you like to have the skin pull back, you know, like curtains. That's kind of how you do it. You pull it back and you give them blowjob. You pull it down. Or tell them that more gently, like however you like it. And take this opportunity to teach them how to pleasure it. But in my experience.

Having sex with an uncircumcised penis or not, and I've had it without the condom in later years. Not different. No, not different. Like I think it's fine. Like sex wise, the same. And it adds a little extra girth. So, hey, Good for you, Mr. Man. Research shows enhances female enjoyment during sex.

Hey, so make sure you clean your.

Post, which you are. Tell her, yeah, pull the skin back. Sounds like you're doing fine, so keep doing what you do. But I'm glad that you asked, but I really don't think if. The only reason, again, a woman looks dead is because she doesn't know. Yeah, go ahead.

And if, if you know you're hitting off with the girl and you know, things are. Conversation is a little bit loose, you might be able to say, hey, have you ever dealt with, you know, you can just throw it out there, right?

If you're with a woman that you're comfortable with and you haven't had sex yet.

Yeah, just throw it out there and be ambiguous about it. Like, hey, if you ever. I don't. It might be tough. Depends on the relationship, right? But if you guys are having like, you know, a couple drinks and then things are going well and you guys are joking back and forth and sex comes up somehow. Maybe sex with Emily. Oh, you listen to sex with Emily. So do I. Have you ever dealt with an uncircumcised penis? You know, something like that?

Yeah, you could totally do that.

If you're trying to joke about how it's knowing that uncircumcised penises are more sensitive. Penis.

Yeah, yeah. Maybe he starts rubbing your pants at the bar, giving you an erection, but.

You wait till you go, dad, now you're getting a little nutty.

Oh, yeah. Okay.

But also. And here's.

He could drop it.

Drop it.

Drop a load. He could drop it. Could drop a load.

He could drop Ems. But here's the good news. If she does, like, look at it and she's a little bit concerned, and you're one of those guys that wants to be with a girl who hasn't been with everybody, chances are she hasn't had that much experience. If she's really surprised by your uncut penis.

Surprised. Not grossed out, like, you know what I mean? Surprised.

If she's like, oh, yeah, I've seen a dozen of these.

And you're like, oh, no, how do I please it? Right? And she'll be like, hey, babe, take her hand and be like, here's what I like. It's all good. You're good, but thanks for asking. It's a great question. Because there are some most the world is uncircumcised.

So weird.

So weird. Okay. Dear Emily, I'm a 23 year old straight male from Ohio. I've been dating a girl for about eight months now, and things have been going pretty well, except for the sex. We have sex about three times a week, which is great, but we don't communicate about it at all. We typically do the same thing almost every time. She gets off, then I get off and we're done. It's not much more exciting than that. My real issue is not communicating, though. And I know from listening to your show that communication is so important. Anytime I even bring up anything sexual, whether it's a joke or asking if we can try Something new, she shuts it down, gets upset. I don't know how to get her to be more open. We constantly fight because she says she hates talking about sex, doesn't see the point. Is there any advice you can give me? How do I get her to talk to me? Love your show. Thank you, Chen.

Okay, Chen, tough situation because successful communication about anything, including sex, does require two people. So it's not unusual that your girlfriend is uncomfortable. How old are you? Here talking about sexual. He's 23 year old. Okay. Oh, first of all, back up. When you email me, tell me where you're from, where you live, how old you are, how you listen, or just where you live and your age. Okay? So it requires two people. It's not unusual that women of your age, of that age, they might be uncomfortable. They've never talked about it. She says she doesn't see the point. So it might help to explain to her how important it is. And you could say, I think it's important because I know sex is something that can be so enjoyable. Wonder what else we can do that would be just as fun as a sex we're having. She gets angry about it. Say something like, I love our sex life. So hot. And I often think, what else could I do to please you? You know, make it about her. You know, I think it'd be so sexy to see you with a blindfold on or to have you climb on top of me so I can watch your amazing body. You know, something like that. Suggestive. Because she needs to know that you're enjoying the sex that are satisfied. Because if she's thinking you want to talk about sex, the first thing she might hear is like, you're not into her, something's going on, she's doing something wrong, giving a bad blowjob. So you want to discuss the sexual so you can make the intimacy better for both of you. And you can let her know that it could also help if you just ask her, what does she think about your sex life? What would she do? What would she do differently? But it sounds like she's not really open to that. Remember, don't be pushy or argumentative. But one more thing I have to say to you is, Chen, you said you bring it up as a joke. And I know that for women, when you bring up sex as a joke, sex isn't a funny joke. When your partner brings it up, it's not funny. Because all women here, like I just said, you don't like your sex life. You think I'm fat. I don't please you? You want to be with someone else. Da da da. So if I'm assuming your jokes are like, well, we gonna get on tonight? It's been three days, or hey, are we gonna. Whatever your joke is. Like, women just, you know when guys joke about like, it's like gonna be the night or do I get a blowjob? We just like wanting. We want to, like the, the last thing we want to do is have sex with you.

Sex is never funny.

Well, it can be. You can. I don't know what I'm saying. I'm saying don't joke about it when you're really trying to communicate about it, because we know that jokey can be serious and just. It's not working for you.

Poor Chen is uncomfortable. Obviously.

I know that's what I'm saying. So stop the joking. Bring up the topic in a neutral setting, not near the bedroom, like when you're on a road trip having breakfast, lazy Saturday afternoon so she doesn't feel threatened, like she's doing something wrong. And if all else fails, ask her to listen to sex with Emily with you. I mean, not this episode.

That's gonna be a tough sale.

Not this episode.

I hate sex talk. Wanna listen to sex.

But maybe one of the episodes where he said he heard me talking about, which I always do on every show. Communication might be interesting. A lot of couples listen to my show together. I'm like the. In the room, like the mediator. So do that. Okay, Virgin advice. Emily. First of all, I want to say thank you for always delivering entertaining and insightful segment. Insightful segments. I've learned so much. I know you're best at giving advice on everyone's sex life, but today I'd like your advice on my sexless life. I've just turned 25. I'm still a virgin. I haven't been waiting. I haven't been waiting for certain someone or holding out. It just hasn't happened. I can be very shy and self conscious and have always struggled with my weight, which are all playing a part in my non existent sex life. I don't want to show my thirst or desperation, but the virgin title has been hanging over my head like a dark cloud. I'm afraid my life will become the humorous version, humorless version of the movie, the 40 year old version. Do you have any tips for putting myself out there? And once I do decide to have sex, do I tell my partner? I don't want them to think it means more than it actually does. Your frustrated friend 25 and sexless female. PSN from B.A. forget it. Okay. She says she where she's from, but she wants to remain anonymous.

And it was a very specific place.

Yeah, I'm over it. Okay, so here's the thing. It doesn't matter what age you are sexless. Don't rush into losing your virginity just because you're worried about becoming like some weird cautionary tale because you're only 25. There's plenty of time. I do believe that it's important to wait till you're ready. Some people might disagree with me that, you know what, just go out and do it, whatever, but I think especially for women, okay, the first time is never that amazing. I think that many people can will agree with me, right? Men and women, first time, not amazing, but at least kind of try to make it someone that you have, that you trust and you have a connection with. Okay.

If you're a girl, especially.

Yeah, especially if you're a girl. Overall, it can be comfortable and a slightly awkward experience at the beginning, but again, someone you're comfortable with. And the thing that stands out to me the most, though sexless, is that is your body image issues, which is very common among men and women. And they keep you from having sex. Women just, they worry about it, they're thinking about it, and it's just going to be this like, vicious cycle. So I want to say work on. You know, I'm going to say this, and it's hard to say, but you got to work on feeling better about your body. And again, I know it's easier said than done. So what if you. I mean, this is. Sometimes I just want to be like, just exercise, just eat healthy. But if you just start to move your body and it's not something daunting, like you gotta join a gym, you gotta start taking spinning classes. But like 10 minutes a day, you go for a walk, you do something outside, you move your body, you start to understand, like, how it feels to move and to exercise. You might find yourself that you're walking for 20 minutes. Join a gym with a friend. It keeps you accountable. Like go walking with someone, a friend. And this will help you feel better about your body image because you'll start to like, feel more in shape and, you know, you'll be more open to sex. Now there, it could be a lot of underlying issues. People have body image, maybe there's eating disorders that takes some more serious therapy. But I just want to say that there's ways to work on it. If you're concerned about Being too shy to meet men. Online dating, Love it. Don't use any of those terms. Don't say that you want to be so off your feet. But there's a little less perceived risk for people who are shy, because online dating, you can kind of play around. You can talk with a lot of people, and there's apps like OkCupid Coffee meets Bagel Hinge. Tinder.

This is a Tinder case.

Once you get to know someone you know you want to be intimate with, you know, I would let them know, but I. Cause she asked also, do I let them know? No, you don't let them know your dating profile. You don't let them know on the first, second, third date. You let them know when it's about to get intimate. Like, before you have sex. I'd say maybe that night. Or, you know, I don't think it's like, you need to send out, like, three days before. You know what I mean? Because I don't. I think you have to be chill about it, too, because it's not like you are saying to him, you know, hey, it's a really big deal, because the right guy, first of all, will be understanding and patient. But let him know it hasn't happened. You haven't been inspired yet, and you're ready. You know, don't make it this whole weighty thing. Da, da. But if you make it nice and loose and light and happy, he'll be the same way. So, again, respect yourself. Make sure it's on your own terms. Anything to add to that?

Good advice. That's good.

Thank you.

I think she set a goal. I don't know how heavy she is, but, like, you know, once she drops 10, then she puts up a profile on one of these sites.

Exactly. Who's 10? Like, do something. And again, I've even found with my own life, like, everything that I do, meditation or exercise or even work, I need a partner. Like, I need someone that holds me accountable. My assistant holds me accountable.

Right. Or some people can hold themselves accountable.

I can't.

Like, if you can. If you're one of those people, sexless and not a sponsor by any means, but, like, the Fitbit helps you keep track of all your stuff, and then you can go farther every day and that you keep track of what you're putting in your body as well as, like, the calories that you're putting out. And it'll.

I have to say, the Fitbit inspired me to exercise more. I have it on. I have. Why I lost it. But I have the app. So I actually, like. Even when I was in Mexico, I was like, I want to do 10,000 styles. Kept walking like you. It gets. It's weird. It's like you're competitive with yourself. That is a great accountability thing. And it's a free app. You can download and then don't let.

Yourself actually go on one of these websites until you've hit a goal that you've attained. And then you're gonna have more confidence when you put up your profile and you're gonna be ready.

That's great, great advice.

Ready to give it up.

Exactly. Give it up, baby. And then let me know how it goes. Okay. Hey, Emily, we have time.

Yeah, you got five.

Okay. I wanna say thank you. All your advice has paid off. My confidence with men, sex and how I take control of my sexual experiences has changed me for the better. I just started seeing this great, amazing, really nice guy. However, he lacks confidence in bed. And this is because his past partners were not adventurous. So I surprised him the other night. I took him out for drinks and then walked around till I found the right place where I stopped and I told him, this is where we're having sex tonight. It was in a beach hut. Hidden and dark, but still very much of the public. He loved it. Keeps saying that he wants to do something like that again. I really want to as well, but talk on ideas that are, like, dirty, sleazy, boring, something that.

Teenagers would do. We've spoken about a few places, but I really want to surprise him again. He loved it and had no idea. Thanks for reading, Amanda. Okay, Amanda, good for you. Awesome. You hit the two indicators of hot sex for many people. Spontaneity, huge for sex, and also outdoor sex. So you were spontaneous and you had sex outdoors. Those are very adventurous. Those are great things. And a lot of people say their best sex was spontaneous. Okay, so sex and outdoor places can be very sexy. The thrill of getting caught. It can also be illegal. You want to be careful. So here's some other adventurous ideas. You can have sex in the outdoors while camping. That's kind of a safer place to do it. Not as cheesy. You're like in a bar or something.

Except for the bears.

Watch out for the bears. Do it in the tent. It's summer. There's lots of country fairs around. You can get on the Ferris wheel. Join some sneaky sex on the Ferris wheel.

Better be pretty slow, or he better be pretty quick.

I don't know, something like that. Or you could give him a blowjob. Dressing Room at a retail place during its slow time when they don't have cameras.

That's good stuff, right? Plus. Cause the slots, you can see out a little bit. Like you can see people's legs, but they can't see in at all.

Exactly.

Oh my God. There's someone right there.

Totally perfect. Utility closets. Often neglected. Next time you're at the mall together, you can duck in, get busy among the brooms. Cleaning solutions.

And you can clean up pretty easy in that too.

Totally. So that's what I would say. Do that. Do that. Now do one of those things. I love that she did this. See what I mean? People listen to this. Spontaneous sex wasn't so crazy. She didn't have to go and buy anything new. She just dragged them and had sex with them. And we all. It's like the spontaneous blowjob that every guy wants. Or a woman wants her guy to go dine in him for an hour.

An hour, half hour.

Do something. Undress me slowly. I don't know. What do I want to go down?

What would you want?

What would be spontaneous for me? I don't know. I guess taking me away for a night to hotel or something.

That's it.

Hotel. Sexy.

And you're so tame. You're so tame.

Okay, what would you have to do? I mean, throw me against the bed, tie me up, frigging, pour a massage candle over my body and blindfold me. How's that?

Sounds good.

Rip off my clothes. Okay. Anderson, you're awesome. Thank you.

Thank you.

So good to be with you. And also everyone, here's the thing. We need interns. We love interns. Follow me, email me feedbackextextwithelmy.com if you'd like to be our intern, we're looking for social media, marketing, production, video editing. You get great experience and you get free sex toys. Also, newsletter. Sign up for it on our website, sexwithemily.com and I love you all. Thanks so much for listening. Email me, was it good for you? Feedbackex. What do I say again? Oh my God, I've done this for 10 years. Thanks for listening. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.

You had to go back. You had to go back like it was the Alphabet.

I know.

And say it again.

I've said it 8,000 times. Okay, everyone, thanks for listening. And one more thing I gotta tell ya. I gotta talk to you about the Fleshlight. It's the number one sex toy for men. And it's probably the only one that you want or need because it was just so funny. Cause even in Mexico, Anderson, I was explaining to my friends what a Fleshlight was and they were like blown away. They all wanted to hang out with.

People who don't know what a Fleshlight is.

Well, they've heard of it, they've never really seen it. I like, was explaining to them this like patented material created by NASA. They're like, what else was NASA creating it for? I don't freaking know. All I know is that guys are like, holy moly, this is the best thing I've ever felt.

It makes perfect sense that NASA would create because those, the astronauts are in space for a long time.

Right?

A long time.

Exactly. But I think what they were saying is they probably were creating it for something else.

Maybe it was like a suit to beat off with.

To beat off with. Why not? I mean, you guys got your hand. Masturbation's coming up and I'm saying, like, the thing about masturbation month is taking your sex life to the next level. So if you always use your hands, why not try the Fleshlight and feel some extra, some different experiences. Or if you're a chick, buy it for your partner. And if he has a penis and if you're straight and you know it's a great gift, you can masturbate him with it. Little lube. It sounds great, you know, it feels good. The Fleshlight stamina training unit helps you practice lasting longer and you become a better lover. And you'll experience some of the most mind blowing orgasms of your life. So check it out. Go to sexwithelmily.com, click on the Fleshlight banner, use code Emily. And because they love you and I love you, they're throwing in some, some, some lube. Flesh lube. Their lube is award winning. So again, sex with emily.com click on the Fleshlight banner, code Emily. That's so easy. Get some lube. Check out the Fleshlight. Thanks for listening.

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