7 Dec 2025 · 59 min
Emily Morse and Menace cover anal play safety and technique, emphasizing warm-up, water-based lube, condoms, and communication. They discuss why words like "anus" feel taboo, recommend beginner positions like missionary, and warn against petroleum products and food near the vagina.
Chapters
Stop what you're doing and listen closely because Bellesa and I are giving away free spicy toys or gift cards to every single one of you. That's right, everyone who signs up wins something. And if you haven't heard of Bellesa, let me put you on. They're a bi woman for everyone company that's completely flipping the script on sexual wellness and now they're hooking you up. You've definitely seen Bellesa's viral toys all over your for you page. Like the rose, it blew up for a reason. This little flower shaped suction toy is iconic.
Or.
Or their famous whisper collection. You know, the first fully ever silent vibrators. If you live with roommates, parents, or even if your partner is sleeping right next to you, these toys are silent without compromising power. Or their new Pebble Pro. They just one up their best selling pebble with a stronger, smarter and seriously spicy redesign. Ballast has somehow figured out how to engineer a one stop pleasure shop with three interchangeable heads. It sucks. It humps, it licks. It vibrates. I'm speechless. And of course I had to hook.
All of you up.
So my friends at Bellesa are sending out free toys or gift cards for toys to everyone who signs up. You heard that right. Every single one of you wins something. Just click the link in the episode description or head to bbvibes.com Emily that's B B V I B E S.com Emily.
You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com a lot of you are@sexwithemily.com now listening to the show, which is awesome. As you know, the show is now live streaming every day, Monday through Friday, 1 o' clock to 2 o' clock Pacific Standard Time. So you can take your lunch break, have a sandwich, watch the show. Soon you'll be able to watch Madness. We'll be getting more cameras in here. Hey, Madness, what's up?
Hi. How you doing?
I'm good. How are you doing?
I'm really excited because I actually, I was on my way to Pixar yesterday. Sorry, just to dive into a story, but let's just do it. I was driving to Pixar to go check out cars 2. Everybody go see it because it was amazing. And I plugged in my iPhone and I streamed the Sex with Emily show through the Stitcher app. We record the show@stitcher.com and I really enjoyed the show yesterday.
I know, so did I.
It was really Good. I liked it. Not to toot our own horn and stuff like that, but.
Well, it was funny because I liked it. I don't.
There was a lot of pussy talk on it. That's right.
A lot of pussy talk. Now look how easily it rolled off your tongue today.
Well, I just want to throw out once when we're doing the show. Yesterday we said, like, 15 to 20 times in a row.
I know, but you were uncomfortable by it. Your face turned red when you said pussy. But just now, you just said pussy.
Like, now it's embarrassing me because I are embarrassed.
You were embarrassed yesterday. But it was funny because. Menace, actually, I got home from a party. I went to a friend's book party last night.
Sounds amazing.
And I came home and I was like, I'm gonna watch. I'm gonna check out the show. Cause I don't typically watch the show, but since it's a new format and I was watching it, and I'm like, oh, my God, it's funny. And then Menace called me. He's like, I was just listening to the show, and, like, he just mentioned. Stitcher is an app for any smartphone. Can download and stream the show so easily.
Yeah, you have to be a Friends with Benefits member to get the full show. So just go to sexwithemily.com sign up, and then you'll get your password, and then you type in your password on your mobile phone, and, like, you only got to do it once, and then it just stays saved in your phone.
Exactly.
And it's amazing because I just plugged it into the speakers of my car and I was just, like, driving.
You're like, we're funny, right? Were you like, we're funny?
Yeah, I laugh mostly about my, you know, my jokes because they're hilarious.
See, I don't laugh at you.
Yeah.
But, yeah, everyone has to become a Friends with Benefits member. You get full audio and video episodes anytime on demand. And if you're saying yourself like, oh, I've been getting it for free, and why should I pay now? It's like millions of people have helped themselves, have helped their sex life through listening to the show by listening to the show. And we've been doing it for free for the last six years, and we wanna make a living at it and do it full time. So we just appreciate you supporting us and supporting the show and the Friends with Benefits.
And believe me, we've tried every single avenue to give it to you for free for five years. And this is what we have to do. And if you're upset by that. I'm sorry. And if you don't want to pay $5, I apologize. But this is what we have.
495.
495. To keep the show going.
Exactly. And then we're bringing you so much more content every day. We've got blogs, we've got. We've got videos, we've got interns doing amazing stuff. Sex toy reviews, as we talked about yesterday, they're so excited about their sex toy reviews and porn reviews and lots of fun stuff coming, so.
So how was it a sexy book?
It was a sexy book party. It was at Gump's, which is a department store in San Francisco, which is a beautiful department store. My friend. I gave her a shout out a few weeks ago. She wrote this book called Eco Amazons, all about women doing amazing things. And she had another book party last night that I went to.
Okay.
Yeah. And her name's Dorca Keen, if you want to check out her book. If you care about the environment and women who are doing great things.
Yeah.
And that's what I did last night. Then I went home and I was watching the show and then.
Is she part of the thing that's in town right now?
What thing?
I'm sorry if it's in your. Sex in the news, but they just released a story today about there's, like, an eco sex convention this weekend in San Francisco. Did you hear?
No, but my. One of my sex school friends just texted me about it.
Yeah. So apparently there's an eco.
How do I not know this? How did I not know this until I got.
Because you're all into that hippie crap, so I figured that you would already know.
Okay.
She said what was going on. You don't have to tell. You don't have to say what she said because I already. I know.
It's ecosexuality thing at seven. I should go.
Yeah, you should go. So this is what I heard about it, like, all weekend. So, like, these people that are, like, green, that are. They get off on having sex in nature and, like, being with nature. And, like, some of them even, like, married the earth and, like, Mary Snow and, like, Mary. There was, like, a bunch of other stuff that they were married. It was cool, though. They're just like. Yeah, you know, they're really into this, like, having sex in the middle of fields.
Yeah, we talked about that all the time. Sex outdoors.
Yeah, but they're just like.
No, but it's like their religion.
They're, like, off on it like crazy.
Right, right.
Right.
Which I just think it can be uncomfortable and you get sticks up your butt.
Oh.
So maybe you should go to the convention and tell them.
Speaking of up your butt, today's show, it's Anal Sex Friday. We're gonna be talking about anal sex today on the show, which I know that menace is probably excited about.
And then it's a huge topic with all the fellas.
It is. Do you and your friends talk about it?
No, we don't talk about. I don't talk to my friends about sex. No. Ever?
No. Do they ask you for advice now? Because you should be an expert too, by having sad hair for five years.
No, they don't ask me for sex advice.
That's probably a good idea. I'm kind of relieved.
Not in the bedroom or anything, but I give them advice on, you know, how to deal with certain situations in the relationship.
You do?
Yeah.
Oh, God. Poor friends.
So, no, my friends, dude, they love my advice.
No, I'm kidding. Your vice is good sometimes. Okay.
My advice is take no shit from nice. Be nice. You know, be respectful. But don't take no shit.
What kind of shit are you talking about?
I'm saying if you give me an example. If you are a man, you work every day, you provide for your lady, and you're not in. You're not. You're not a dickhead to her. You. You treat it with respect, and then suddenly she's trying to get all crazy with you and give you crap about something. I'm telling you, don't back down and kiss her ass. Stand up and be a man.
So you have friends who have issues. They're the provider. And the women are taking advantage. How so?
How so?
How are they taking advantage of them? I need specific details.
Because they don't treat them with the same respect. That's why that they. They give them.
What do they do? What do the women do?
What do they. Women.
Example.
Example of maybe he wants to go out with his friends and go to a bar.
Right.
And then so she starts. Freaks out, freaked out and starts getting crazy.
Right. Those women are annoying. I think you have to give men their time. You have to give men and women their time with their friends.
Yes.
So that's what I said.
That's. That's just one example saying women are.
Drama. Right, Right, right.
And it goes. It goes both ways.
Totally.
You know?
Right. You just have to.
That's just my attitude. It's like, be respectful, be nice, be cool. But once somebody starts trying to take advantage of you, you gotta, like, Nip it in the bud.
Yeah.
Immediately.
Yeah, I guess so. I don't know. I guess I don't. I don't know that many women or men. I don't know. I don't have that same situation. Like, I don't know. I'm not like that. I don't take it.
Because your friends are hella drama. You tell me the stories all the time.
They're not drama. They're just funny. They're not drama. They're not like, I need my man take care of me, and I'm not gonna. You know, it's not like that. Like, I'm not.
You have friends that want to text. You have friends that want to text guys and tell them how much they love their. That the guy spoogeoned him, like, five times? Yeah, like, I don't have friends like that.
That's funny. It's sexting. Oh, my God. I got a million responses. Yesterday. I put on Facebook, do you want to sext, or do you want to have phone sex or sex? What would you prefer? And it was. It was 50. 50, I think.
50. 50?
Yeah. People into sexting and phone sexting.
Dumb on the phone. Yeah. Sexting is so much better.
Sex just comes naturally to me, though. I think I'm a professional. But I can just do it. I can, like. Oh, yeah. I can just snap.
I'd be so afraid that you were recording me. Like, you would be saying such outlandish things and then getting me to say something, and then you would be like.
I wouldn't ever record you. I would never record you. I've never recorded anyone illegally. Unlike you. Although it wasn't illegally. You just taped them.
I don't tape people on the phone.
No, but you tape them having sex, and then you have a library. I keep thinking of you being like, that movie, sex, lies, and videotape like you have.
The hell are you talking. I don't have a hidden camera in my room somewhere.
Yeah, I was with a guy once where I. I was swear there was a hidden camera. No, I started freaking out because it's kind of creepy. He's the same guy that I had sex with. I told you at Coachella outside when I first started sleeping with him, he had something about him that was a little sketchy. And I really had this moment where I'm like, I think he's got a camera in here. That's when the time to end the relationship when you have feelings like that about someone.
But I thought there was a camera in there.
I don't think there was. I probably wouldn't know by now. It was years ago. Five, six years ago. But one time I asked him. I'm like, I just feel like there's something freaky in your apartment going on. I was like, paranoid.
You sound so paranoid.
I was like, are you taping? Because he was.
It's so easy to spot hand cameras, though, at least for me.
Well, you could, because you're like, do, do, do. Yeah, you could track it. I wouldn't. I. I'm so not a detail person. That there could be, like a whole crew and I'd be like, really? Oh, they were there taping. I didn't even know. I'm, like, not paying attention. Details. Okay, so today. Yeah.
Wait, what's going on with you? It's Friday. What's going on with your weekend?
Tjf Baby, my weekend is. I'm going to a birthday party tonight. Have you been to the new Phoenix hotel yet? How they changed it. Do you remember?
It was back invited.
Yeah. Tonight there's, like, a birthday party for, like, four friends there, and it's really fun. It's a really cool bar. There's, like, outdoor. There' there's a pool. Not that people swim, but there's an outdoor area. You've been there before, right?
Yeah.
And so that'll be really fun. Friends birthday. And then I'm gonna work on the weekend. I've got a ton of writing to do for the website, and I'm gonna go out with that guy tomorrow night that I've been seeing, and I don't know what we're doing because he's planning it, because I told him that I just don't bring that to the table. I don't bring planning.
Does he know now not to ever say that again?
Yeah, probably. He's like, what do you want to do?
How old is he?
He's older.
He's older. He's like, how does he not know that by now, then not ask the woman, what do you want to do?
Well, we've been dating for a while, so he's just like, what do you feel like doing Saturday night? And I'm like, I don't really care.
I don't care.
You just decide. You just decide. Please.
Is he gonna take you somewhere riveting like a. Like a museum, some science fair or something?
No, I think we're done with that. But speaking of which, we do have some date tips coming up. Since it's the weekend, we thought we should give people some ideas about some fun, different kinds of dates you can do this weekend. And some of them might seem cliche. Be like, yeah, I could do that. But really, people get so boring. They get so stuck in their routines that I'm just gonna name some fun things that you can do that you haven't done before.
Oh, they better be good, or I'm gonna rip them in.
I know. You are menace, and you just have to be kind, because people get stuck in ruts. They do the same thing. Like, let's rent a movie, let's order pizza. Let's do nothing. Let's just sit home and not have sex. Like, here's some fun things you can do. Like, go fly a kite. We're gonna be talking about that in a minute.
Flying a kite.
Flying a kite.
Flying kites could be fun.
Yeah. See, there you go.
You gotta find the right girl that's into flying kites.
Yeah, it's hard to do. It's hard to do. I'm not saying it's easy.
You are not a flying kite girl.
No, I'm not. I'm not a big flying kite girl. But I would like if a guy was like, oh, I guess if we.
Were already there, like, yeah, see, that's already your first response, I guess. And then, boom. And then I was trying to think.
Of, like, my best dates I've ever had, and I just. I can't even think, like, what was, like, a. I think it's more, like, about the connection. Like, I feel like I don't care where we are. If we're connecting and we're doing something fun and we're talking and, like, always talking about connection. Like, do you not know what that means?
No, I know what it means.
Don't break it down.
Like, it doesn't. I don't believe that it matters where you are to stay at home and be connected.
This is what I'm saying.
Yeah, but you're talking about places to go.
Well, I am giving people. Because some people have been together for so long that it's like. Or. Or even if you're a new first date and you want to try something new, we have some ideas that we're gonna give to you. But I feel like if I try to go back into my mind, I'm doing, like, the mental, like, flipping of all the dates. It's like, the best ones are, like, when I actually like the person, and we were just, you know, at dinner or seeing a concert or something like that. Something fun.
All right, what you got?
Okay, this is what I got in mail today. We're gonna be talking about foot fetishes, good sex, and bad relationships. What to do about them, how to know when you're. How do you know when you're boyfriend, girlfriend, and S and m. And on today's show, you'll also find out everything you really wanted to know about anal sex, but we're afraid to ask.
Cool. It sounds really good. I already got a bunch of ideas of things I want to talk about with just the list that you. You provided.
What do you mean, list I provide? Oh, all those things. And then we've also got some. Yeah. Sex in the news, of course, and some sex tips. Some, you know, some dating tips, dating, places to go.
Cool.
That kind of thing. And then we have this poll that we have.
Okay, so here's our poll that we had this week@sexwithemily.com we need everyone to go vote on these polls. So this was the poll we were asking, are you happy with your sex life? Okay. 13% said, I would be just happy having any sex. 20% said, yes, but I want to start trying new things. 23% said, My sex life is great. I'm having plenty of sex these days. So 23% of people are happy. But 44% said, no, I want more. So almost half the people are, like, not having enough sex, and they want more.
Those were guys that just want to have more sex.
Maybe, but it's not always the men. Do you know that's a myth? Yesterday's show was all about breaking sex myths. There is this myth that, like, men have this huge sex drive and women don't want sex. But I can't tell you, like, I think it's, like, when you get a little bit older, maybe like in your 20s, maybe men, but in your 30s. I feel like I have so many women who are dating guys, and they're like, he doesn't want sex. He doesn't want sex. Because I think that men get bored with sex when they're with someone for a long time, typically. And so maybe they stop or their sex. That's when you have to start to spice it up.
I've been noticing a lot recently that the women that at least that I'm around are worse than the guys. What do you mean about just, like, going out and getting laid?
We mean they're worse than the guys. They're going out getting laid a lot.
They're. Yeah, Their drive to go have that happen is, like, I guaranteed, like, twice as much than the guys.
What do you think that's about? What do you think that's Testament to.
No. Mid, mid-20s, late-30s. Just like.
Yeah. Like, they're like, I just want to get laid. I have so many friends I've done that to. I have friends who are like, I'm literally. I just need to have sex. I just need to have sex.
I just want to bring. I. I think I just want to break it down. As their teens, early 20s, they might have had a boyfriend or girlfriend for a couple years, and they're really serious, and they were so in love, and then they broke up with them. They're like, oh, I just want to have fun. You know, when they could have. Should have been doing that earlier in life instead of being locked down for.
See, I locked down. I always locked down. I was a serial monogamist from, like, 18 to, like, 28. I had boyfriends always. Two and a half years. Two and a half years. Two and a half years. And I was just like, done. I was like, I don't want to do that.
Why are you so crazy?
Why? Because I was always locked down.
But I wasn't happy you didn't have your fun earlier.
I know. So I'm having so much fun now. I'm having way more fun. Like, my friends are like, are you, like, 20? Like, what. What are you doing? The way I live my life. But I think that's fine. I think I'm doing it in reverse and I'm loving life right now. It's amazing. So here's the new poll that everyone has to go answer.
Okay.
And we talked about this last week on the show. We did a manscaping womenscaping show. How do you feel about hair below the equator? No preference. All natural is best. Trim to please or fit. Full Brazilian wax, no hair. So people gotta vote on that.
Okay. I thought you already had that vote, though.
No, we didn't do that on that show. We didn't do that.
We didn't on the poll.
No, no, no. This is the new poll that we posted today. We're posting three polls a week.
Okay. Sorry. We talked about it just recently. So that's why I was talking about.
I know. It's okay. It's totally fine. So then we've got some. Yeah, that's what we're doing. So we got some sex in the news.
Okay.
Okay. Oh, but first I'm gonna get into the date ideas for the weekend.
The date ideas for the weekend?
Yeah, do it. So. Because they're here.
Okay.
Okay.
Whatever's in front of you, you're like, eff, It. I'll read it. Okay, so what do you got?
Cook a meal together. That's a fun thing to do.
Cook a meal together. That's great. So when a guy comes over your house, cook a meal for Emily.
I just got myself in big trouble. I am not suggesting.
Why didn't you put that on there?
Because I didn't put.
How are you trying to suggest that to other people when you can't even cook?
Next. Order in pizza and have a candle at dinner.
That's what you can do.
Honey, I'm not saying I can do all these things. I'm just saying.
Go on a hike, bike ride, kite flying or long walk. Bring a picnic. That is so fun. Bring a picnic. I've had fun dates like that.
Oh, no. A picnic can be fun.
Nature.
I'll say. Picnic is fine. Kite flying is a stretch.
Kite flying came up today. One of my interns said a guy was like, let's go kite flying. And she was like, no, thanks. Okay. It didn't work. Yeah, but it didn't work for her. But it can work for other. But then my other intern, Aaron, was like, oh, that'd be really fun. So. See what I mean? I seriously have, like, a little mini focus group.
Should we. No, it's like a little mini focus group in my office every day. I'm like, who's done this? Who's done this? And it's amazing because they're all different, you know? So it's great. Okay. When was the last time you went out dancing? Dancing's fun. We were kind of dancing when we went out last week. Drunk in the Castro. Yeah, I like dancing.
I can get down on dancing. Yeah, that's fine.
Bubble bath and a jug of wine. This was our most.
Wow.
Yeah. That's awesome. No, we all love that one. Like, taking a bath with a guy is hot.
Is that real life or is that in real life?
In real life, you can take a bath. I have an amazing clawfoot tub in my house. Like, do a bath in there. Okay. Play a game of hide and seek. In the house or at the park? Who's gonna do that? Okay.
If you're high on peyote or something.
Movie night. Knockoff Knock off movies on your to watch list. I need to do that. I need to sit home. I just want to be locked up in a house for, like, two weeks watching movies. I haven't seen any movies in, like, 10 years.
I don't understand what you're doing with your free time.
I know. Me neither.
I don't I don't understand. I don't like that you don't have free time to watch some of this stuff.
I'm just busy.
Busy doing what? I don't. Working, museums. What?
Yeah, museums, working, not having sex. Really? Okay. Go to the pub and watch a game.
Go to the pub and watch a game. Yeah.
Watch a game. Yeah.
No, lately, like, I've been running into a lot of. See, the thing that sucks is I have to fake that I like sports.
Right. You're one of those guys that's a very San Francisco male thing. I never put you in the typical San Francisco male category, but a lot of men in San Francisco, my friends, they're not into sports. It's not like a sporty town.
I was. When I was younger.
Right, but you played baseball or something, right?
No, I played soccer.
Right.
Which is not really a sport. Just kidding. For all our listeners around the world. I want to piss you off, but I was really. Yeah, I was really into sports. Sports team. I collected all the cards and all that stuff in the early something. But now it's just. I. It's a time thing. I don't have time to sit and watch a game forever.
But some people are really into a game.
Going to a game.
Going to a game. Super fun.
Even though baseball is so boring.
So. But I love going to our Giant stadium. It's so fun. Yeah.
I do a field trip.
We're going to do a field trip there.
Basketball games are amazing.
Basketball games are super fun. I grew up going to the Detroit. Detroit Pistons basketball games. Yeah, they were a really good team. Then when I was in Michigan.
Yeah. But no, what I was going to say is there's a lot of smoking hot chicks that are like, die hard into sports.
Yeah.
I'll tell you this. Here's a little secret that if you guys don't know. The hottest ones are into hockey. They love.
They love the hockey players. I know.
I love hockey because they get off on the violence. Like all the fight.
No, the guys are hot. No, guys are hot.
That's what the guys are hot.
I have friends who are so into hockey players and date them and sleep with them. Like, I have those. There's a whole group of women who are just, like, into dating hockey groupies. Yeah, totally. I'm not into that. But the violence, I hate it, don't want to watch.
But that's what I hear. But those are the hot chicks.
So maybe you should go to hockey games and pick up chicks. That's a great, great point.
I know like, some. You know, some tens that are, like, really into hockey. That's like, their number one sport.
Wow. Yeah. I know a lot of women who like hockey, too. Okay. Make a trip to the farmer's market or flea market. I like going to the farmer's market. Boring. Video game tournament. Invite your friends.
Yeah, you love video games.
Do you have video games, art openings or museums? I'm telling you, these are people. When my guys was like, the guy that I'm dating, whatevs. Was like, what do you want to do Saturday night? I was like, I don't know, like, nothing. But these are some ideas. Volunteer together. Volunteer together. Start a project together. Dress up and go see an old movie or go to the drive in.
That'd be cool.
Make a trip to an arcade or pier to play games. Those are just some ideas that you can do. It's gonna be a beaut. Summertime.
Hey, if there's alcohol involved, then all those things are fun.
True.
I think you have a problem. We should send you to, like, meetings or something.
I haven't drank since last time we drank.
Really?
Yeah.
Not one sip?
Not one.
That's so weird.
Why?
I don't know.
Because I don't.
I think you binge drink.
I don't binge drink.
Maybe. Well, if you only drink once, you drink a lot.
If I have. If I have some. Yeah. I'll tell you right now, if I have somebody, if I have a ride from one place to another.
Right.
And I don't have to work the next day, then I will.
So what are you doing this weekend? Are you going out tonight?
Not tonight. Tomorrow, I am going to.
Oh.
Bunch of my friends, old friends from my old town are going to come, and we're just gonna drink around my neighborhood.
Are you gonna go fly kite?
We're not gonna fly kite.
You could do any of these things. Okay. So.
Might go to Britney Spears after, though.
Britney Spears. I want to go to Britney Spears. Do you have tickets?
Yeah, but somebody's asking me to go. I'm not.
Oh, check.
Yeah, but it's like a work thing.
It's a work thing. They're all work things. Whatever. Whatever's okay. Sex in the news.
All right.
Now that everyone knows what they're doing this weekend. UN Gay Rights Protection Resolution passes hailed as a historic moment. So this is a huge deal that the United nations issued its first condemnation of discrimination against gays, lesbians, and transgender people. Transgender people hailed by supporters, including the United States, as a historic movement. And so the quote from the US Ambassador Says you just witnessed a historic moment at the Human Rights Council and within the UN system with a landmark resolution protecting human rights of lesbian. I mean, it's the first time it's happened. The UN is stepping in. So that's a big deal for gay and lesbian rights.
So what does that mean?
And we live in San Francisco. Yeah, it just means that like the, the UN is now paying attention to it. Like all the different countries in different states, we've all done our own legislations, but now it's like the UN is like, we're there with you. Cool. We live in San Francisco. We were like the first city to have gay marriage and stuff. So we're kind of like, yeah, welcome to the club. But it's a big deal. Okay, man allegedly had drunk sex at 85 miles an hour and got busted.
Okay, break this down for me.
Okay. Ready?
Yeah.
So, okay. The latest allegation. Okay. At the time of collision, the. The defendant was going 85 miles an hour having sex with a female driving admittedly drunk and partially or totally in the backseat of the car. So he was driving, but he was partially. He now denies he was driving. He was coming from his 21st birthday party in Baltimore. Oh, my God. There was someone else in the car. And he says there was. Yeah. So it's a little. The 28. Yeah, exactly. The plaintiff, a 28 year old cab driver seeking damages. There's like a plaintiff because they got in an accident and so he was kind of having sex, I guess. I mean, he must have been having sex if they pulled him over. It's kind of a sketchy story, but it says that that's what happened.
I could see how that could happen, though.
How could you have sex at 85 miles an hour in the car driving, but you're halfway in the backseat?
I'm thinking of the logistics. Okay, so if he was laying down all the way on his back and he was using his feet as the.
Gas and brake and not watching the road.
No. But then the girl sits on top of him, his wiener, and she's driving. And that could work. See, I figured it out.
Right? Yeah, Right. That could work.
That could work. But he wouldn't.
Be really quick on the break.
No.
Why not?
Wait till you get home. It was his 21st birthday. My 21st birthday. My 21st Birthday. There's like pictures of me being dragged into. Oh God, I'd like 400 people at my. At my college house that I was living in. Literally 400 people, like a million kegs. And. And it was. I was like, I want it. And I've never gotten sick drinking. And I was like, tonight I'm gonna do it. And I still couldn't. But I did pass out. And there's pictures of my friends dragging me to my bedroom, like by my hair.
Nice.
Doing shots.
Jealous shots on sexwithemily.com right now.
Should we.
If you want to post them, I don't mind.
They're back in Michigan. They're funny pictures. I'm not that messed because I don't get that drunk. I have issues with it. I mean, I want to, but I can't sometimes. I mean, I have, yeah, but I don't get like sick. 21st birthday, though. Is sex too strenuous for men's hearts? It's a typical movie scene. Older man has sex with a beautiful woman when suddenly, wham, he has a heart attack.
That's me one day.
So should men be concerned? Yes and no. Finds a new study in the Harvard Men's Health watch. Fewer than 1 in 100 heart attacks are linked to sexual activity. For a healthy 50 year old man, the risk of having a heart attack at any given hour is one in a million. Sex doubles the risk, but it's still just two in a million. In fact, the review highlights research that suggests sex is actually good for men's hearts. So it's actually good for you. One useful gauge. If a man can't comfortably climb several flights of stairs, he should probably avoid knocking boots.
Well, I guess I should never have sex ever again. What do you mean, a flight of stairs? Who doesn't get tired on a flight of stairs?
Yeah, but are you like taking a break after like the fourth step?
No, I'm not taking a break. Just maybe after the seventh step.
Okay, maybe you shouldn't be having sex, but you're still young.
Yeah, whatever.
Sex with. Okay, so it's just. Ultimately though, experts seem to agree with just a few caveats. Sex with a familiar partner. Safe, even good for the heart. So, you know, you always hear stories about like, that's how people die. But I think that's quite a way to go if you're gonna go like if you're gonna die and you like die during sex, that would be the.
Best way people are. I'm looking over because I like to respond to people that are watching. There's a bunch of people watching us online.
Yeah, no, I know.
Sexyhomy.com if you want to watch this.
Live, I think that people. Yeah, I mean, no, they are tons of people watching.
If you Want to watch this live? It's Monday through Friday, 1 2pm Pacific.
Standard Time, every day, Monday through Friday. It's awesome.
Yeah.
Sex with Emily is your.
They're saying they're enjoying the show.
Okay, good. Okay. I think that we should get into some emails.
Okay.
And yeah. Okay. No questions. Dear Emily, no questions this time. Just have to say I love the new format with video. Emily, you're super cute and fun and you guys both clearly have more energy, just like you said you would. Props of San Francisco for being the most promiscuous city. I think Nashville would probably be the most guilt ridden about sex. Ha ha. Signed Marvin. He's a new Friends with Benefits member.
And I'm currently masturbating to the video.
Madness is on a big kick for everyone to masturbation.
Oh, no ps, right? You didn't read it.
There was no ps. There was no ps. So, yeah, we talked about it yesterday that San Francisco is voted the most promiscuous city. And I feel like I had something to do with that. Not personally, but the show. And we're all so sex focused in San Francisco. So anyway, it's awesome.
You're everybody's wing woman. You're getting everybody laid.
I get everyone laid. I do. All my friends. Like, of my friends, I would get laid, all of them. And I'd get you laid. I'd get anyone laid. Seriously, like, I feel like everyone in life. The biggest. One of the biggest challenges in life is trying to figure out what your skill set is. And once you have a skill set, you kind of move towards that and then you hire people to do the other stuff that you're not good at.
Yeah.
So I'm good at getting people laid. So I just. Just want to say that's.
That you put in your work for.
Yeah.
To help.
I feel like my friends. Yes. Okay. Hi, Emily. Okay. This is for you, Menace.
Okay.
I hope you're okay with this.
I'm okay with anything. I don't care.
I figure you are.
I don't.
I'm curious, what happened to Menace's engagement a couple years ago? It's from Collins. Oh.
We talked about this a bunch of times.
Yeah, but. I know, but it's been a while, so I don't know if it's like ripping the wounds off, ripping the scab off the wound.
I am totally. It is fine for me to talk about.
Okay. What happened?
Oh, that was it. That's all I said.
That's the only question.
What happened? I am constantly working and she didn't like that and caused issues. And it's either I don't work as much. And in my thought process because I've been through this before where I put. Started putting my relationship more over my work. I ended up getting let go from my job, so.
Oh, that's why you're so obsessed. Because you got let go early on from a job.
Job. Because I started focusing more on women, on my relationship.
Right.
And so once she started giving me crap all the time about being at work, I told her that it's not gonna change and.
Right. This is who I am. That's what I.
And then it is. She just wouldn't agree with that. So I said, all right. And then that was it.
Right. And you jumped into a little too quickly. You got engaged like on the second.
Yeah, but I think I would have been fine with it. It's just that it's.
Do you ever talk to her anymore?
No, I don't talk to her anymore. But I think it's just like a. It's a hard thing to find somebody that can deal with having your significant other not be there.
Right.
At all.
It's hard. Right.
And it's like, then people that I try to get with, people that work in the same industry as.
Right.
So they at least understand.
Right. They get your obsession.
Yeah. And then. But when I don't do that and I d. People, they always go, when I take them with me to like a concert or something like that, they go, why don't you like hanging out and stuff like that? I go, because when I go to concerts, working, Right. Not having fun and drinking beer.
Right.
You know?
I mean, sometimes you do, right?
Barely.
Okay. But you haven't dated anyone seriously since then.
No.
Right. Okay. Princess Emily, I'm an avid listener to your show and have a question for you.
Princess Emily.
I like it.
Are you serious?
Yeah, totally.
Of course you like it. It's attention, dude. Exactly like crack cocaine.
I do, I do. I love it. Who doesn't love attention? Find me one woman on the planet who's like, I don't like attention.
I don't know how you would live without it.
I wouldn't. I wouldn't even choose a life like that. I'm an avid listener to your show and have a question for you. I'm a single 48 year old male living in Kansas City. I'm currently seeing a beautiful 31 year old woman. I have a passion for the female foot. Buying shoes, pedicures and food worship. And it's cool with a foot Whichever is cool with that. But for some reason within our relationship that has lasted so far, three years, I can't seem to have normal sex with her. I don't seem to hold a steady erection unless she is. Has played with me with her feet. She loves being dominant in the bedroom, and that is cool with me. But without her feet, I can't seem to perform in the proper manner. Any ideas, Steven, real quick, before you go into something? Yes.
God damn it. I've been begging for a foot fetish guy forever to email the show and please try to diagnose himself. To think, what does he love about it so much that gets him off?
Right.
But he didn't. He didn't do that.
He didn't get into that. But there's just. They have an association with the feet. It's like anything like having a fetish. But you want to know specifically, like, what it is about the feet you.
Don'T figure out, like.
Right. I think it's just a lot of times they tie fetishes into early childhood things. So if a man has a certain. Like, something could have happened in his childhood with feet, like, he could even have been abused by someone kicking him and he could have a foot fetish that translated into that.
Yeah.
I mean, I don't know.
His feet are, like, so veiny and. Ugh.
Right?
They're gross, man.
Okay, so there's many men, right? So, Stephen. So there's many men who. Who do find it arousing. Women say arousing. And since there are plenty of women who enjoy having their, like, foot massaged and stuff, like, you could start with a foot massage. Women would be totally down with that. I don't know. I would kind of like to date a foot fetishist. I would give me a foot massage.
Every night if he. I wish to know if he, like, talked to her about this.
Yeah, he did. I mean, she knows it.
She knows it.
But if you reveal it too soon in a relationship, it could turn some women off. So there's. They may feel like you don't care about other part of their anatomy.
Yeah.
So you have to be kind of careful with that.
So the real problem, though, is his erection.
Yep. And it just.
So how are we going to fix his wiener?
Well, if the fetish present prevents him from having normal relationships with women, then he should seek counseling. But if it's not a problem and he can get off by just, like, massaging her feet or, like, maybe she likes her feet, like, up over his head or something, like, you know, Those positions where you put her feet up. Have you ever done that?
Yeah, the pretzel.
I don't know what it's called. Okay, the feet. Like, maybe he's holding him is enough and he doesn't have to. But if it's like a problem and he's not getting enough and that's all it is, and it's like an obsession, then he could seek help about it if it's ruining his relationship. But there are ways, like a foot massage. Like, I don't know how much the level of intensity that he needs. But again, like, massaging it or just trying to, like, not make it so obvious. I mean, because a lot of women could freak out by that.
Of course.
But if you, like, start again, start with a massage, or if you hold her and just needs to be seeing them the whole time, but it's not, like, totally obtrusive, then that's fine.
But again, he can just get a. He can get a blue diamond and it's all good.
A what?
A blue diamond. Do I just know so many street terms that you don't even know? Yeah, blue diamond. Viagra. It's a blue diamond.
Oh, right. It is. Blue diamond. Yeah. No, I wouldn't say Medicaid. I wouldn't say that, Steven. I would say just. I would. And I would talk to her about it eventually. If they've been together for. Are you stretching? I thought you were, like, punching me.
Or doing something or just, like, look at a JCPenney's catalog before.
But he's saying he's, like, feeling like he can't have normal sex with her at all. Like it's not normal. So he could talk to someone about it because there might be some deep seated issues, but if it becomes a problem. So. Okay. Hi, Emily. I really enjoy listening to your show.
I wonder if, like, Zappos is, like, porn for him.
Like Zappos for me. Zappos is porn for me.
Pornography just goes. That's what he should do. Just like, you know, just, like, go through that.
No, but he needs. But when you have a fetish, you need to, like, have the feet. Like, he needs to be engaged. Or maybe he needs her to play with his penis with her feet or something.
Okay.
You're like, okay, but if a foot fetish is listening right now and you'd like to email us about your deal, that would be awesome. You can email me@feedbackexthemily.com and it's also a lot easier right now. We've got a Q and A section on the site and you can just click and there's a page where you can just. It's an Ask Emily tab actually. And you can just email me there. It's really easy. Hey Emily. I really enjoy listening to your show and the variety of topics. Keep it up. I know you have a segment on. I know you've had a segment on good relationships, bad sex, but what about the opposite? Good sex, bad relationship. I recently got of a two year relationship that was very emotionally difficult and stressful most of the time. But our sex was really amazing. How is it that two people can connect so well with physical and emotional intimacy between the sheets, but struggle so much with their regular communication interaction and relating outside the bedroom? Thanks, Octavia. Well, this is a very common issue. Like the people, they would say like the people you have the best sex with, you don't end up marrying. You know, there's a lot. Because the thing is the reason a lot of times what makes sex great is that tension that you keep, that you, that you keep with each other. Some kind of turmoil, up and down emotions you're fighting a lot and you have makeup sex and breakup sex and get back together sex. And I'm mad at you. You know, it's. It's because you're so emotionally up and down.
Sounds like a nightmare.
No, but that, but that is, I mean that's how it happens. But you're just not compatible and it's a bummer. That's what, like there's, it's part of having really good sex. What's conducive to that is sort of keeping tension. So when you have like that tension with someone, that is what keeps it exciting. And after you're with someone for a while, you no longer have that tension and then the sex becomes dull and boring, which is why we're always talking about ways to keep it interesting. So it's very common that you could have the most explosive, amazing sex with someone that is just. And you're not compatible with. Which is kind of a bummer because then you're always searching for that person. And I still am. That you can have amazing sex with and be with forever.
Yeah.
Yeah. So that's. Have you ever had to get that? Have you ever had a good relationship but great sex, bad girl that you didn't love? Not a good relationship with great sex?
No, I don't believe so.
I'm trying to think if I have, I have. Oh, I. For sure.
Because if they started giving me problems, they're out the door.
I'VE had guys that I just like to sleep with, but not like I knew that it wouldn't go anywhere. They were crazy, but like the sex was amazing, you know, so. Okay. Dear Emily, I love your show. I've only recently started listening. I need some help. I'm 22 and I've been single my whole life. I've been on dates, but I've never met anyone I felt interested enough to pursue a relationship with. The last year I actually met someone. The only problem is I'm not sure what we're doing. He's met my family and stayed over at my parents house with me and I've hung out with his friends and he's introduced me to his family and we all went on a day trip together. He confides in me, listens to me and treats me well. We're very compatible and there's a strong attraction. The only problem is. Ready?
I know where this is going is.
That I asked him to be my boyfriend and he said no. I'm confused. And when I bring it up, he just skirts around the issue and says, oh, it's a lot of responsibility. But I don't get it. Being in a relationship is practically what we're doing. Especially now that I've moved back to San Francisco for school and he's been staying over all the time and even keeping things in my place. Please help Danielle San Francisco. Shout out to Daniel in San Francisco, our hometown. Okay, Danielle, here's the deal. You're not getting what you're want. You're not getting what you want in this relationship. You sound very non committal, dude.
That's what's going on.
Can I just.
Yeah, go ahead.
So. So I just think that you're not getting what you want. And a lot of guys are. You know, you're 22, it's young, you're non committal. He says it's a lot of work. It just sounds like he's not the kind of guy that you want to be in a relationship right now even though you are acting in a relationship. This is a very common phenomena that goes back and forth. It's like we're everything but commit. And I think I've done this to guys. They're like, we're. But you don't want to be my girlfriend. I'm like, exactly. And so you should run from people like that. No, but it's like, it's like the commitment thing. He sounds like, you know, he doesn't want to commit. He's got issues around relationships and he's still young. And Danielle, you have to pay attention to what you want. I think a lot of times in relationships, more often than not, women are trying to change men and men are trying to change women. But let's look at your situation. Since you're a woman, you're trying to change him. People do not change unless they want to change in a relationship. That is like the most key, fundamental thing that you can learn about relationships. You could want him to change. And getting into a relationship with someone thinking they're going to change is wrong. Is never going to happen. People are the way they are and maybe eventually he'll come around. And I think that's what you're thinking. He's going to come around eventually and he's going to want, but it's not going to happen. Like he's telling you right now straight and forward that he's not. Doesn't want to be in a relationship. So I would say if that's what you want, then you need to move on.
Yeah, and I totally screwed up what I was trying to say. I said, you're giving the milk. You know when they say, oh, the.
Cow milk for free.
What is it given them? They won't buy the cow if they.
Get the milk for free. Yeah, but what are you saying?
That she know. You're saying she needs to cut off the vagina supply. That's the only reason that the guy's staying around.
I don't know where you get your information from. What do you mean? If she needs to stop having sex with him, she needs to play mind.
Games with him and not playing mind games with them. But that's. I'm just saying that's why he is sticking around. Because he is getting laid. That's what guys do.
But he probably really likes her and he probably just a fear of he really likes her.
He would be with her.
I'm sorry, but he sounds like he's with her. Everything but the commitment.
That's great. But he wants to sleep with other people.
No, it doesn't sound like that's the issue. What do you mean?
We've talked about this. This is the same reason you won't put your status on Facebook. Because you want to leave your options open. That's the same reason. No, it's the same thing he's doing right now. He does not want to put a label on things because he wants to leave his option to open.
Maybe. Maybe he does. Maybe he does and she wants more, so she should get out. Yeah, just get out.
Peace.
Done. Bye. Bye. If you're not getting what you want in your relationship and you're expecting them, that you're talking into something, it's not gonna happen. And maybe leaving him, maybe he'll come back and realize, you know, whatever. But you can't bank on that.
I'm sure if you do leave him, then he might attempt to come back.
Sometimes they do people rejection, but don't bank on that. We don't want to tell you that. Like, I want you to move on and find a guy who wants exactly what you want.
And if you do that and he tries to come back after two weeks, like, don't fall for that crap. Like, cut them off for a long time. Go. You're in San Francisco.
You play games, man. It's such a mind.
How am I mine effort?
Because you're just like, all these games that women are conniving and they're trying to get. And then the men, how am I.
Saying they just want more sex? I was just talking about men. I wasn't saying women are conniving. I said earlier, like, so are women. And guys.
I know, but I just don't.
My brain doesn't go there is using you to get laid. I'm saying cut off your vagina and move on. That's all I'm saying.
And I said that too, in a different way.
How's that? Playing games?
Because you're like, then she'll come back. And don't get. Don't go back too quickly.
And yeah, don't. I guarantee you he'll probably hit you up because he's not getting laid after, like, a couple weeks. And then you're gonna be in the same position that you're already in.
We do that in relationships. We stay in the same positions. And that's what I was gonna tell her. I was gonna say, set a deadline and be clear in your intentions. Like, I always have done this with friends, and if they're complaining to me about a relationship, this happens a lot more with women, I think, than men. Because you guys don't sit around and talk about your relationships. I don't know what you talk about, but you don't sit. And you're not like women. We process our relationships. That's what we talk a lot about. And it feels like I have a lot of good friends that we talk about our relationships. And if the same issues come up over and over again, then eventually one of my friends and I started this years ago because I was dating this guy for, like, two and a Half years. And I was not. And she was like, okay, Emily, we need to set a deadline. She's like, if by just three months from now, if by December 17th. I remember writing this down. She's like, if by December 17th, you. Do you still feel the same way? In three months, we're gonna check in. You gotta get out of it. Cause I was not changing. I was saying. Cause you don't realize that you get in. The months go by and you're still having these issues. So I committed to those three months, to really working on my issues that I had with this guy and, like, figuring out. And at three months, she called me. Like, it was in the calendar. She was like, what have you decided? And I really made progress. We went to therapy together.
And decided that we didn't wanna be together. So anyway, it was good. It was like a good. It was good having a deadline. So even it's a month or two months. I do this with my friends all the time. I'm like, okay, we need a deadline for you. We write it down. I think it's a good system because you just. Your life goes by and you're with people that you shouldn't be with. That happens. Hey, Emily. I absolutely adore your show. I thought I'd let you know that you've got listeners over in New Zealand. You are stunning and you have a gorgeous voice to boot. And now I finally see men's photo and I know he's as cute as he sounds. How single is he? Even if it's just for my little daydreams over here, he's single.
He's single.
She wants to know if you're single because she wants to fantasize about you.
I was just double checking. She or he?
It's a she.
Okay.
She's from Brazil.
Brazilian women.
No, she's from New Zealand.
New Zealand. I don't know anything about New Zealand, but I'm sure you're beautiful women also.
So she wants to fantasize about you and he's single? Yes, you can fantasize about him all you want.
Cool.
Cool.
Thank you. And, oh, do you know why I got mixed up with Brazil? Because I wanted to mention a story right after this email is I, there's a Brazilian listener. They're saying how they're a huge fan and they really want me to follow them on Twitter, but they don't, like, have any. Like, I don't follow random people on Twitter that don't have a photograph or any, like, bio like that. So I have no idea who you are.
Right.
You know, so that's why I'm not following you. But I see your messages, and thank you. Thank you very much for listening.
Follow him. Give him a bone. He's a listener. Follow him. What's your problem?
Because if I follow him, then he might be.
Then you default and follow him. And you can find me at Sex with Emily on Twitter, by the way. P.S.
Okay.
And Facebook. Sex with Emily. And where do you. White Menace.com.
I'M just WhoMass.com youm'll find everything. But the. The other thing is, I just use Twitter for, like, news feeds and stuff like that. I get a lot of news off it. That's all. I'm really big into Instagram, so if you have Twitter, you might have Instagram. Get Instagram. Hit me up on Instagram and I'll follow you on Instagram.
But don't you need Instagram? It's only for your iPhone.
It's only for iPhone. Right now.
My iPhone. Drama carries on. I gotta get an iPhone. Okay, we haven't even gotten to her question yet because we got off on how if you're single and she can fantasize about you.
Okay.
Yes, Tessa, you can. I think you're doing something amazing. Letting women know it's okay to have a passionate sexuality and to embrace it. I feel like the more I talk to different women, the more I find out that they are scared of different parts of their sexual selves, whether it's physical or emotional. I'm gingerly putting my big toe into the S and M lifestyle, which I think was inspired a lot by your show. I just thought, why not try it out? See if that's my thing, and if it's no hot, and if it's not, no harm, no foul. Listening to all those people who push the boundaries of what is considered normal, and hearing you learning about so much new stuff really gave me the confidence to try it out. Tessa the Kiwi. She's a Kiwi.
I gotta look up New Zealand. The only thing I know about New Zealand is what. What is that? That TV show. Well, you don't even. You're not gonna help me.
I do know it's Flight of the Concords.
Flight of the Conchords. Yes. See, you would know because it's all, like, hipster and am I hipster now? I thought it was, like, indie and cool to, like, Fight of the Concord is hilarious. Yeah.
And the only reason I know it is because everyone knows I've been on television 20 years is because I was dating A guy with the TV during the time with the season it came out and I was an LA guy and we would watch it together and I would laugh so hard. I remember laughing so hard thinking like, this should be illegal. This is the funniest friggin thing I've.
Ever seen in my life. Are you serious?
You don't think it's funny?
No, I think it's cool for people to think it's funny.
No, I laughed. My. Like, it hurt. I was laughing. Sorry.
Watched.
It's not your humor.
It's not your humor.
Watch the entire first season. I probably laughed one time.
Okay.
It was not funny. Well, you know, funny. Watch Dave Chappelle. That's funny.
I know. I could. Yeah, yeah, he's funny too. You're right. You're right. I think that Fight of the Conquered is funny. Let's move into some anal sex tips.
Yes, let's do that.
Anal sex. Anal Sex Friday. I walked in the office today, I was like, it's Anal Sex Friday. Okay, so we get a lot of email. Oh, I have an email to read about anal sex before we do that, because we're gonna lead into it.
Well, that's what you really have to do. You gotta lead into.
Exactly. You have to be careful.
Anal sex tips.
Okay.
Can't just dive right into it, you know?
Exactly. Okay. My wife and. Dear Emily, My wife and I seem to be at an impasse when it comes to a particular topic in our sex lives. Anal play. In the past, we use things like a butt plug, but then we stop for a while. But now I find myself more and more turned on by anal eroticism. Are you laughing about that?
No. After you read this email, I want you to explain what a butt plug is.
Okay. Anal eroticism, whether it's touching, licking, using toys, et cetera, and for both giving and receiving. I've been trying to persuade her to explore this a little bit more with me. I've been reading a lot on this and I try to be gentle, use lots of lube, and I make sure to warm her up first. Yes. Yet this is to no avail. We've talked several times about it, but we always end up with the same roadblock. She said she had it in the past and it always hurt a lot. She says the only way it's gonna happen if she's. Oh God, I don't even wanna read this. The only way it's gonna happen is if she's completely loaded on alcohol. And I'll just be able to have my way. But I Actually want her to enjoy it as I. I think she would.
Enjoy it that way.
So I'm not just cause you date rape. Just kidding. Okay. No way. I shouldn't even make jokes about that. I'm not interested in it for the conquest. Can you help us with this impasse? Should I just say forget it. Should she explore on her own? Thanks, John. Okay, so it's great that he's reading up on it and it's great that he should read up on it as much as he can. There's a lot to learn about it and if she's had painful before, painful anal sex before, it might be hard to try to persuade her again. But we're going to give you some tips here. We're talking about it and here's some things I think that might resonate with him that he could work on. Okay, so first, how to introduce it? Because we get a lot of emails about anal sex. I cannot answer them all, but this is going to be a blanket answer for everyone. Ready? How to introduce it? Bring it up in a conversation or during sex. See if she is open to the idea. So just like bring it up. Be like, hey. Or you can also get closer to that area. This is what happens a lot. I think rather than talking about it, they try to. Yeah, don't, don't move in. Don't, don't just move in. But like play with that area. Like use your fingers, use your mouth. See how she responds.
She's really into the, the ass to mouth. I don't know.
I've got a whole section on eight. Analingus.
Yeah, Analingus. Can we rewind? Because you never explained what a butt plug was.
A butt plug is a sex toy that you can get@adamandeve.com okay. And it's a toy that goes in your butt and it can feel good to people. And there's different kinds. There's ones with ridges. It's like a cork. And there's like ridges. There's ones that are like ridges. There's ones that are big and small and they have like little balls on the end, like little ridges that go in and you can pull it out.
Yeah, you're talking about anal beads.
But there's also. But a butt plug is just a plug that goes in your butt and just stays there. Yeah. Okay, cool. I should give a shout out to Adam and Eve. It sounds amazing. But there are. I actually wish that I brought in because the AdamandEve.com is our sponsor. We love them. If you want to get Anal sex toys. They've got a ton. You can get anything else. At Adam and eve, they're offering 50% off most items to sex thumb listeners. They throw in three adult DVDs and a free gift and free shipping. Everything you want. Adam and Eve.com, use coupon code Emily at checkout. Do they have to buy a Butt plus for menace?
Do they have a thing called the anal ripper? Because I went into a sex store and they had the anal ripper there.
They probably do.
Maybe you should. Guys search that.
Google it. I don't know. Go to Adam and Eve. You can sort by anal toys. So does she. So when you're getting closer to that area during sex, so men, like, explore with their finger or do whatever. Does she tense up? Does she moan? Is she into it? Does she, like, jump? I mean, start to just, you know, gradually get punching in your face? Exactly. It's not something that you only do, but it could also, you know, men could also. A lot of men like anal play themselves.
Yeah.
And they might not even know it. So it's the same thing. Women can play around with a man's anus.
The first time that I. I don't.
Like the word anus that much either. Just like, I didn't like the word vagina the other day. I don't know anus. I was reading them, like, how many times have you say anus, but the more you say it, it's fine.
So I want you to say, but.
I could say, but. But this is, like, technical. We're, like, getting into it. So I'm using anus. So I don't know why I have issues with words. My friend texted me this morning because she listened to yesterday's show and she was like, I hate the word crotch, too, because I didn't like the word crotch.
Yeah, I don't use crotch. And I can't believe that you said snatch, too. Like, I wouldn't even bring up snatch.
I didn't, did I?
Yeah, you did.
Damn.
You guys call it snatch out on the street.
What do you call it? I don't know. Yeah, I remember. I remember, I remember.
But going back to analingus. No, not analingus. Oh, that's up with you. And ask the mouth. Hold on.
Ask to mouth is awesome. It's a way to start. It's a way to start. You don't go right with your penis into her anus.
I know the first.
You know, do not penis to anus right away.
Yeah.
Start with your mouth or your fingers. Okay. Or a butt plug.
Yeah, it was the. It was the movie Road Trip. And that was the first time I even heard or even saw about the. The milking. The prostate procedure.
Right.
You know, and then that. That told me that guys were into that kind of stuff.
There's so many men who are into anal play, they might not even know it. Like my friend I was about last week who bought the strap on with a dildo, she's gonna. Yeah, what's up with that?
Why do women want one of the.
Most successful, like, do.
They're guys in the butt.
It's called. It's called Bend Over Boyfriend. This. The Carol Queen, who's a local sexologist, made this film, like, years ago, Bend Over Boyfriend, and it's so popular, and it teaches women how to penetrate their boyfriends. Yeah, A lot of men are into it because it feels good, like, their prostate. Like, for men, it's very sensitive in there. And a lot of guys like that thinks of. That's gonna think I'm gay and da, da, da. But if they just, like, let go and they might really like it. A lot of more men than you can realize are into it. And you might be, too, and you just don't know it. Or maybe you are. I don't know.
I am. Totally. I am.
You're not. Use your lips. Kiss your lover's anus in the area around you.
My strap on is like the size of a Yugo.
Your strap on? You don't need a strap on because.
No, I'm just saying the one that's used.
Oh, right. Yeah, right. Okay. Use the flat of your tongue, press it against your partner's anus. Use the tip of your tongue, wiggle it around, slip it inside, move it in and out. Or wiggle it around in circ. That's how you can do analingus. And try it out at the beginning.
Oh, yeah. Just dive right in.
Okay. Preparing for anal sex. Read about it. Don't try to learn about it from porn. So don't ever try to learn anything about sex from porn, everyone. That is my. If that. You take one thing away from the show today, that's what it is. Porn is a visual medium that they're making that men fire women. Visually, something looks good, but it doesn't mean that's the right way to do it.
So is there, like, some kind of dressing that you put on it before, you know.
What do you mean?
I don't know, some kind of sauce or something?
Are you just dressing on the what? On the anus lube.
Is it edible? Lube?
Lubes are edible. There are lubes that are edible.
I'm talking about ass to mouth right now.
Right.
Okay. Are you just going. You could use a dental dam without, without any dressing on it. It's just.
Well, you could shower together. I think that if you're gonna experience anal sex that you should start by showering together and be very clean. You've never done it, so.
So.
And go to the bathroom.
Is it considered just like anal sex too?
What is.
Just ask the mouth.
No, that's not like. I mean, it's anal play.
Okay.
Yeah.
All right.
But it's.
I'm just trying to explore. Let's stick to ask the mouth real quick.
Okay.
So no dressing. No dressing.
I'm not joking.
Okay.
I'm asking.
I don't get the question.
What do you mean? I'm saying do you flavor it up first? Do you put like chocolate syrup on the apple? You should be careful.
No, no, you shouldn't. It's not gonna taste great. I get it, I get it, I get it. No, no. You should not put chocolate sauce or whipped cream and all that stuff is not good because it can get in the woman's vagina and it can.
Now that you understand what I'm talking about. Is there stuff, stuff out there?
Is lube out there that's flavored? Yeah. Adamandeve.com you can find flavored lube and you should use lots. Lube is very, very important. It's essential because I want to get that graphic. It's okay. The anus. I just was like, what? The anus Menace. Talk to me. What are you saying? Right? The anus does not have any natural lubricants. So you have to use lubricants. Yeah. What? You have to use lubricants. So you have to make sure you lose lubricant. Like lube is your best friend. If you're trying anal sex, you've got to use a lot of lube and you have to use a condom. That's an highly recommended. With a water based lubricant so the latex condom does not rip or break. Always use a condom. Always, always, always. When you're. Because you can just get diseases. There's problems you could get. The digestive tract might also contain harmful microorganisms that can be spread during anal contact. So you should just use a condom. Don't use sticky petroleum based products like Vaseline. People always think you can use Vaseline or cooking oil. Don't do any of that. That stuff is bad for you. Try taking a shower together before, like I said. And make sure your bowels are emptied before if you're nervous about it. It's your first time. Yeah, you got to do that because you just don't know what's gonna happen. So if you don't warm her up properly. If you don't do the warm up. What? What?
No, no. I just had a flashback about something I'll mention after this.
What was it?
The TV show Entourage? That girl, Michelle Gray? Not Michelle Gray, something Gray, the porn star turned actress.
It doesn't matter.
Something great. You can look her up on YouTube. But she. She actually did a whole video on getting prepared to have anal sex. I'll send it to you so you can put it on the website.
That sounds great. Please do that. So if you don't warm up properly, if you go silly enough, you'll probably hurt her. So you has. There has to be so much warm up, so much foreplay, so much gentle, like, get her into it. Get her turned on. Like, do other things and then, you know, you can move into it. Now there's a lot of so. And again, start to touch her closely and see if she's moaning or tensing up. Okay. What you shouldn't do, don't ever, never, ever enter without permission. Don't ejaculate inside her if it's requested not to. And don't slam or jackhammer. Be forceful. It has to be a really slow ease into it process. Like it's slow, slow, slow, slow. Okay. Like, I had a friend, so she was dating this guy recently, and when they were having sex, he had to. In order for him to orgasm. Like, like orgasm. He just stick his finger in her butt and that would make him orgasm every time. And he would just like jam it in. And it really bugged her. And it's not that she's not into anal play, but don't just jam it without any. Like, that wasn't good. They're not dating anymore.
That's what he had to do.
Yeah.
That is so.
It's not anything. It's not that weird. I mean, I think there's guys. Well, everyone's got their thing. But I'm just saying he would, like jam it and she'd be like, not prepared. Cause he wasn't doing any anal play. So just be careful.
Yeah.
Yeah. How about that? Okay. These are some positions that are good for anal sex.
Okay.
Doggy style, obviously. Missionary position, though, is actually the best beginner position for anal sex. It Allows the receiver to fully relax the anus, making penetration easier. So with the man on top, missionary, people think doggy style only because, like anal. But missionary is actually an awesome way side anal. This is another really popular position when you're laying on another when you're, you know, laying on their side and they receive it that way in the rear. Yeah, Yep. And yeah, that's why I got on anal sex.
All right. I'm sure that's gonna cause a lot of debate. Feedback.
I don't think so. I think it's like you just gotta warm up, you gotta go slow. You have to remember, just like, I think that a lot of people want to get their partner into it and I think a lot of women and men are like terrified by it. So it's just like have lots of lube on hand. Start something small like a finger or, you know, butt plug from Adam and Eve and then move on to the penis.
Yes.
Or penetration. Okay, I've got to talk about something. A new segment that we're having next week that people have to start emailing us right now.
Okay.
It is a 20sec 20 questions game. So people have. People are able to ask us 20 questions about our personal lives, you and I, and we have to answer them, but they have to go on and Click go to sexthompy.com and scroll down to where it says ask a question. Okay, so for example, if you want to know if I've ever like played a part in role playing or if Menace has ever. What's the best sex Menace has ever had? We have to answer submit questions and mention that you have a question for my 20 questions game and we'll answer them next week. Ask me anything. Don't be shy. All right. Will you answer anything?
Yeah, I don't.
I didn't ask you about this first if it was okay, you know me, I don't care. And then we're do a giveaway to the best question. We have a sex toy that we're going to give away for the very best question. So please email me and find me@sexfeldily.com it's really easy. Now you can still do feedback at sexfeldily, but again, it's really easy to go through the website. Is there anything that you've been dying to know about Menace's life, my life, or anything about, you know, anything? You could email us 20 questions. It's gonna be super, super fun. And then thanks everyone again for becoming a friends with benefits member. There's so much stuff happening on the website and we just want to thank everyone for their support. It means a lot to me, us. Truly, truly, truly. Okay, Anything else menace you got to say this Friday? Happy Friday everyone.
See you on Monday. I'll see you Monday. And yo and I'm sorry but I was so geeked out of listening to the show on Stitcher yesterday through my car. I know, it was amazing. It's the show. The Show's on.
The Go show on the Go Stitcher.com youm gotta go there and download the app, right?
The app is free and then just become a Friends with Benefits member. Type in your code and you're good to go.
You're good to go. It's the best way to listen. That's how I've listened in the past. So thanks everyone for listening. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwith.
There'S one overlooked mineral behind better sleep. Sharper focus, stronger muscles and a healthier heart. And at least half of us aren't getting enough. Most people don't realize they're running low on one of the most vital minerals for human health. Magnesium. And here's the thing. No single form of magnesium can deliver.
All of its benefits.
That's exactly why Qualia Magnesium plus was created with 10 highly bioavailable forms of magnesium plus over 70 essential minerals. It provides total magnesium support, helping you sleep better, think clearer, move stronger and feel your best every day. And honestly, when you're less stressed and more energized, your intimacy and desire naturally benefit too. Sure, magnesium can help you sleep, but Qualia Magnesium plus goes beyond that. It's a whole body nourishment for how you think, move, connect and feel. More than just a sleep supplement. It's a foundation for daily well being which absolutely supports a healthier sex life. Getting enough magnesium from food alone is harder than ever due to depletion, needed soils and chronic stress and our body's reduced ability to absorb it as we age. Well, Qualia's Magnesium plus formula is non gmo, vegan, gluten free and designed so all the ingredients work together for comprehensive magnesium support. And personally, I've been taking Qualia Magnesium plus in the evenings and I really noticed calmer nights and clear mornings and just feeling more grounded in my body, which always makes intimacy feel more accessible and enjoyable. It's become such an easy part of my nightly routine. Experience the most trusted magnesium for your purity, potency and performance. Go to qualialife. Com sexwithemily for 50% off. And here's a bonus use the code sexwithemily for an additional 15% off your order. That's Q U A L I alife.com sexwithemily thanks for qualia for sponsoring this episode.