Be the Partner You Want to Attract with Vincent Genna

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If you are not with your knight in shining armor or your princess right now, no matter which gender you are, no matter what sex you prefer, it's because you don't believe you're lovable.

I agree with that.

Yes, absolutely. We are manifesting creatures. We tap into an energy, a source of power, and we attract to us.

Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. I'm Dr. Emily, and on today's show, I'm joined by world renowned psychic therapist and motivational speaker Vincent Jenna to talk about how to really make sure you're getting the most out of your relationships. Topics include why we so often get in our own way when it comes to relationship happiness. So they say opposites attract, but in reality, similar attracts similar. Why? There's no such thing as soulmates, but you can create a soulmate relationship. And how working through your childhood will help you with your adulthood. All this and more. Thanks for listening.

Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them. In a Bygone day. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend, cuz? My man E here, he just got his heart broken.

He thinks you're kind of cute. A girl's gotta have her standards. Oh my.

The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge?

What do you mean?

Like laundry?

It shrinks.

Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me?

Oh my God, I feel so good.

Being bad feels pretty good.

You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships and everything in between. For more information, check out sexwithemily.com. our website has tons of information to help you have better sex and relationships. And our social media is Sex with Emily across the board. All right, guys, enjoy the show. Very excited to welcome my guest, Vincent Jenna. He's a spiritual teacher, a psychic therapist, world renowned. I've been watching your videos and I'm like, we gotta get him on the show. You know, you do keynote presentations, Self love mastery, teach courses. You help people. People call you a lot about relationships too, to know, like what? Do they ask you about relationships, Vincent?

Oh my gosh, they are.

How can you help us all?

Oh, please, I'd love to help everybody, but I mean, some people are helpless. No, everybody can be helped. And most people wanna know why the relationships aren't working, why they aren't with the right person. How did they become a person that's in a good. Attract the right being. It's all about what they think everybody else is doing wrong. You know, the partner is wrong and bad. They never take responsibility themselves for why the relationship could be bad.

Yeah, that's such a good point. I love that you're also a therapist and a psychic. To me, like that makes so much. That makes a lot of sense.

Well, here is the thing. Not only yes, because psycho and psychic tends to go to. I'd like that better because usually people have called me psycho for many years. So now I formalize that by being a psychotherapist. I wanted to know all about the human mind to start with, if I'm going to dive in there as a psychic. Because that's all I care about going in there, releasing the blockages, helping people with their issues and stuff like that. I wanted to know the ins and outs, the ups and downs, and give me more credibility. So when someone is sitting in front of me, they know I know what I'm talking about.

Right. Well, because also if you're just giving them a psychic advice you know, you're just telling them what's happening or what you see in them then and now. You can also kind of advise them from the psychology perspective, which makes a lot of sense.

And I combine both, because there's also the spiritual perspective. That's the part that the. The psychotherapy does not include. And we are body, mind, and spirit. And I'm telling you right now, the major problem that people have with their bodies and with their mind is because they're not including the spirit.

Okay, so tell me more about that.

What are they are not feeling empowered. If you just think all you are is a body, okay? And then. And the mind to go along with it, you're limiting yourself, you're limiting your potential, your possibilities. But we are manifesting all the time, consciously or unconsciously, we're manifesting what we want or we're manifesting what we don't want. And if you don't include that, you're going to be developing defense mechanisms to help excuse why things are not going right in your life. Like, especially when it comes to relationships, I cannot tell you the number of couples. All they do is just blame each other. Oh, he doesn't meet my emotional needs anymore. Or. Or she is too demanding. Or it's all this nonsense when it has nothing to do with the other person.

So it always has to do with us because we're bringing ourselves to every relationship. I'm talking to Vincent, Jenna. You can find him at vincentjenna.com, g, E, N, N A. We'll also put this in our show notes@sexwithemily.com so the main thing is that people aren't taking responsibility. So then how do you gently read their whatever's going on with them and then put it back on them? Like that's also a thing.

Oh, that's really interesting that you use the word gentle. Well, you have to be with me. No, no, my God, not at all. We don't have time for that anymore. Here's the way I portray it to people. Okay, let's say you're walking down the street together of Manhattan, and I happen to look up and I see a piano that's being moved from the 40th floor to the 30th floor, and the rope breaks. And now the piano is headed towards your head. Okay, I have one of three choices that I can make in that instant. I can run across the street and get out of the way and say, hey, sucker, that's your karma. I'm not dealing with it. Right. I Can do that or I can, like some people, the gentle way. I can tap you on the shoulder and I go, excuse me. I really don't want to interfere in your life, but I just want to let you know, splat, right already too late. The piano's fallen on you. You're dead. Or I can grab you by your freaking shoulders and throw you out of the way. Now, yes, you may land on your arm and break your wrist or hurt your ankle, but I saved your life. So that's where we are right now. We are not in hand holding. Gentle stuff. There is a large number of relationships that are breaking apart. And it's all because people do not understand how to even form a relationship, that it has nothing to do with another person to start with.

So that's the first thing when someone comes to you and says, my partner, blah, blah, blah. And then you're like, no, we'll look at yourself. And then you can pinpoint what their issue is.

I can pinpoint. But here's the bottom line to that and why it is gentle, okay? Because the pinpoint, if you are not with your knight in shining armor or your princess right now, no matter which gender you are, no matter what sex you prefer, is because you don't believe you're lovable.

I agree with that.

Yes, absolutely. We are manifesting creatures. We tap into an energy, a source of power, and we attract to us. We don't go shopping. I just had this conversation with a friend of mine just recently in the car on the way over here, and we were talking about. Relationship is like, people right now, they go shopping for a lover they gave. What do they go on the website, they go to the right clubs, they go to all. So you go shopping. You know what it's like to go shopping for something that you need and you want. Have you ever gone with your friends and you happen to be hanging around the stores and you might find a beautiful. Oh, wow, look at those clothes. Oh, my God, look at that gorgeous pair of shoes now. And you don't need them now. You need them now. An affair is coming up and you have to go get a great outfit. Do you ever find.

Never. It's so stressful to go shopping when you need something for that night. I hate that. I'm like, I need a dress, Right?

The same thing is going to happen if you go shopping for a relationship.

So what do we do? How do we. I'm single right now.

Open the door. See, this is great. Now I gotta tell you something about you, Emily, right now.

Okay. Okay. All right, I'm in. You don't have to be gentle.

All right. I am sitting at a desk right now with several vibrators and lubricants sitting.

In front of me.

Okay.

Uh huh.

Okay. Do you know how many men in the world or even women in the world are capable of dealing with that and handling that from the onset?

No.

You are a different woman. So you are going to have to put that out there. Strong enough, secure enough to be able to attract a partner who's gonna be able to.

He's gonna be cool with dildos and all.

No, really. They don't wanna know that the dick you have on your desk is bigger than theirs.

I know. I told you we should take the dick out when he was coming. There's a man coming. But I also don't like it's a glowing penis. But.

I know, but do you know how intimidating that was?

I want that idea.

As an erection. I start well. Right.

Right.

We just started decorating the studio and I. I just felt like everyone coming into the office would be very busy. We don't usually have that in here. And I'm like, I don't want that glowing dick next to me during the show. Is it gonna. Is it gonna bother you if I'm holding it? But I don't know.

Depends upon how you're holding it.

But this is a new thing. But we do have lubes in here. I get it.

You know what? It could be a lollipop. That could be worse.

No, but I get it. I think it's a fun thing.

I understand what I mean.

So guys like she sex with Emily. They Google. Right.

But here is the thing about you that's really interesting that you're not paying attention to. You know, you're a big package but you do not appreciate yourself enough to know that somebody else would appreciate it. None of your relationships have.

Completely fulfilling. Otherwise you would still be with that person today. Attraction is the most natural thing on the face of the earth. We created it when it didn't work the first way we came down, we came down androgynously. The first time on this earth. And I'm not talking about the Adam and Eve and the caveman time period. I'm talking about before that. There was a life here on earth. When we came down with all our power and of one gender, of one sexuality. And it wasn't working. We destroyed ourselves. We were like a bunch of kids let loose in Toys R Us without adult supervision. Not only were we going after the Dildos. We were using them wrong. So what? I mean, you know, so. So it doesn't make a difference. We needed to do it a different way. So relationships are the most important, vital things on the earth because they help us to learn more about ourselves. A relationship is not to complete us.

We're already completely. I do not believe that to think a relationship is going to complete change.

No, but here's where the problem lies right from the get go. Because we've forgotten who we are. As magnificent divine being. None of our emotional needs were met when they were supposed to be as a child.

Right? Exactly. We're not. That's our lesson here, is to learn from our childhood.

That's right.

We all have something to deal with in childhood. And I get upset when people are like, oh my. Like, childhood was perfect.

No, it's not.

They designed it as perfect.

Or prop like, no, they create bubbles for themselves and these beautiful visions that I have to burst constantly. And I live in the South. And they go totally on image and constantly convince them, oh, no, you don't. You do not love yourself. And no, you didn't have a perfect family. And when we go there deep enough, we can see the faults that happen. We can see those things. And once they admit that, they recognize, wait a minute, I don't love myself. But our defense mechanisms get in the way of that. So here we have those stories, and it right away takes away the idea that we're lovable. We're egocentric as children, we blame ourselves for everything. So if mommy and daddy are not getting along and they're fighting, or mommy and daddy are sick or one of them dies, or there is a divorce, children blame themselves. Now those same children grow into adults and they want to believe that they're lovable. They want a different relationship. But the partners, where the spiritual part comes in, that's so important, their manifesting power resides in their unconscious minds, not their conscious minds. So most people do not believe what they think they believe. So they may. I deal with them all the time. And New York women are the worst because they are thoroughly convinced they know what they believe. And so I have to. They're telling me, I know I'm lovable. Oh, really? You know you're lovable? How about those last four relationships that went to hell in a handbasket? That's really love there. Oh, no, because they're all jerks. Well, why would you be attracting jerks if you thought you were lovable? A relationship to start with has nothing to do with another person. And this is what I want your listeners to do. Everybody out there right now, get a pad and a pen, get a list, and at the top of the list, title it the top 10 traits I want in my partner. Then list those 10 traits, the most important ones. Most people can have 20 to 30.

I'm sure she's got like a hundred.

Okay, Yeah, I know you got 100.

No, I don't. Kristen does. I've never been focused on.

All right, then this is what you do. Then when you're done with that, okay, go back to the title, cross out the word partner, write in the word.

Me, and those are the traits you want in yourself.

10 traits I want in me because like attracts like. That is myth number one, that opposites attract. They do not. You may have opposite personality styles because of the gender or whatever the person, but like attracts like. If you don't believe in yourself and believe you're lovable, guess what you're going to attract. Now you've got two people searching for love, trying to get it from each other, and both are starving to death, and they want to blame the other person for why that's happening. No, it's happening because of you. You never thought you were lovable to start with, and you attract that person, it's going to break, going to end. It's going to get sabotaged in some way or another. So that's part one. Part two, where you take the romantic bullshit and throw it away. There is no such thing as a soulmate.

I believe in that, too, that you're going to be struck and be like, of course. This is the one.

All right, now, your job is to make your relationship into a soulmate relationship.

Do you think you can do that in any relationship?

I have been married for 46 years and with my wife of 40, married for 41 years. Absolutely. We made that. And this is how you do that.

Okay.

When I do couple therapy, I never teach another person how to talk to each other. That is bull crap, too. And also, I do.

That's my career. But go ahead.

I know. Thank you. Okay. I know. Well, I'll tell you why.

You're psychic.

I know. I'll tell you.

People have to start with talking. Okay, got it.

Yes. They have to start with talking.

Who's this guy? You don't tell him how to talk to each other, but.

That's right. But here's. It will end up that way, and I'll tell you why. Why? Because you're going to teach them how to talk to themselves, how to Heal themselves, but do it together. Now, when they're talking to each other the right way, when they're reading a book and they're discussing it together, when they go to a movie and discuss it together, when they take a lecture, listen to your show, and they discuss it together about healing their issues, their past, but they're doing it as a partner. They're strengthening and empowering each other while they're doing that.

No, I agree with you that the best thing, though, Vincent, I believe that for you, people who come to see you are already in the door. Like, they believe in your psychic powers and psychology and all that. But most people, I believe. Yeah, I bet you do get skeptics, too. What I find a lot is that there's typically one person in the relationship that is ready to do the work. Like, they're looking at themselves, they realize their issues, and there's one who's just kind of more shut down, don't go to therapy. Doesn't want to look at their childhood, doesn't want to look at their part in it. Like you were saying, most people are blaming.

I'm going to tell you. I'm going to tell you, you tell you why. Okay. All right. Wait, can. Did you. Are there any sharp dildos in here? Because I don't want you throwing anything.

At me right now. I don't even feel comfortable.

Not even boxes. Because I'm about ready to say something.

We'll talk about that. Sorry.

All right. I know there, you're about ready to want to throw something at me with what I'm about ready to say.

Maybe. Okay.

Okay. There is no such thing on this planet as victimization.

Okay. All right. Tell me more.

Because. And this is where the spiritual part comes in. And this goes against a lot of people's wanting to believe, especially with all the abuse that women go through and people have gone through. Right. Okay. But when you take it to a deeper level, everything happens for a reason. Now, it's not.

People like to debate that as well.

Right, right, exactly. It's not that it's your fault. However, there is an intuition, and most of the time, and this has been scientific, researched and proven, and I'm probably going to say something that you already know. Okay. For example, women who are in domestic violence situations, the research they've done on them is that 80% of them come from an abusive past that had a father that abused them emotionally, physically. Okay? So now this woman becomes a child, she becomes an adult, she goes out into the world. How is this working? She's at a party. There's 10 guys there. All right? Out of the 10 guys, one guy makes eye contact with her. She makes eye contact with him. A spark flies or something. Flies. They get together. Three months later, pow. He punches her in the face out of anger. Why did she pick him out of the other nine that would not have done that? Because it's an energy thing.

Because he was most familiar to her father.

Exactly. And she, deep down believes, number one, unconsciously, because of the child, I deserve it. That's what I'm used to, Right?

It was familiar. His energy was familiar.

But also, I deserve it. I'm social worker and we have worked with women who are in domestic violence. There is an organization in North Carolina called Interact. And what Interact tries to do is to provide a safe haven for abused women. But one of the first problems they have in trying to remove the woman from the domestic violence situation is the woman turns around and says, what? What, it's my fault. I made him angry?

Right.

So if they're thinking that as an adult, what's going on in their unconscious mind believing that. So their energy is being put out there and they're attracting to them somebody who's going to do that. So you can't change the outer world. You have to change the inner world. So if you are attracting a guy who's not willing to do the work, guess what? There is a part of you that's also afraid of doing the work.

I agree. I believe you're attracted to money, emotionally unavailable people, that you are not emotionally available yet. Okay, we're gonna take a quick break. And we come back even more with Vincent. Jenna.

I do want to say this, that we've got to get out of the habit of trying to make the genders the same. Okay, we are equal as human beings, but for goodness sakes, there is a reason why there's male, why there's fema. And I'm going to tell you right now, you will never make a man live up to what a woman does, and you'll never make a woman psychologically. Now, with some of the things, do what a man does, and you don't want to have to do it. Now, I'm not talking about thinking and reasoning and having an equal job. That is all the stuff that should be happening already. But why a guy becomes more physical than a woman, why he doesn't want to talk emotions all the time, except why, but then work with it. It doesn't have to be an excuse. It doesn't have to be no guys should be able to communicate their emotions. But we need to understand why they don't. And why.

Why don't they. Why are. Why. Why don't men know how to.

Because they're dominant thinkers. We came into the. Okay, here is how it happened to start with. And we got to take it back to the beginning now. And this is a philosophy.

Yeah.

Wait, what were you going to say?

You have a call. I'm saying, but people.

You want to come?

No, no, I want you to keep going. We got time.

Here is the thing I like first started. And like I said before, we were the way we are now. When we came down with our full power and understanding, we went downhill right away and we started destroying things. Well, we said we had to do it differently. Our two greatest gifts that we were given upon creation is intuition and intellect. Well, when we were going down the drain, both the intuition and the intellect was going with us. So we said, you know what we have to do? Do we have to separate those gifts? So we divided ourselves.

Talking like Adam and Eve and.

Exactly. That's a metaphor. We divided ourselves. And by the way, the male wasn't first. And you can from a written. The book was written by a man anyway.

Every book was written by a man. Right.

Of course. It was always going to start with a man. Right, right. So we divided it and we put both in each, but. But one more dominant in each one intellect or courage and thinking. Left brain. Thinking was going to be dominant in the male. Intuition was going to be dominant in the female. And then we figured it out. Why do we need intuition in the female? She's going to have the babies. We need to procreate over here. And there has to be somebody who knows what to do without having to think about it. Because it'll take forever then. Right. And then over here, this guy is going to be going out, he's going to be hunting and he's going to be building a house. So he has to be able to think about what he's going to do. But they both need to develop the other side strongly to balance out so that we can correct and remember who we are. And together we're going to figure that out. We're going to become even stronger together. Okay. Not complete ourselves either, because like I said, we have both sides.

Exactly.

Okay? So that is one of the major reasons we are not changing that as soon as we get rid of the sexes, all right, you won't find the same problem. But as long as you want a heterosexual relationship, women, you're going to be dealing with men who are naturally thinking first. Now, you get a good relationship like my wife and I. We do both. We've learned how to do both. A matter of fact, when I went to school and I was getting my degree as a psychotherapist, there was that standard test that they don't use anymore is which side of you is your right brain? Which is the female side? The nurturing, intuitive, creative, emotional side? Or is your left brain, the thinking, the reasoning, the courageous side, more dominant? So we took that test. I was 50. 50, right in the middle. I can design our house and decorate it. I've even done sewing. I made my wife a dress when she was pregnant for her mother's wedding. Because my family were seamstresses, I was able to do that. I'm emotional. I share that. But that is not every guy, right?

You're not every man. That's why you do what you do. We got some people who want to talk to you. Absolutely.

Let's bring them on.

So, talking to Vin, Jenna here, and we're gonna. We're gonna talk to Jackie, 45, in California. She has a question for you. Vincent.

Okay. Jackie. How are you, Jackie?

Thanks for calling. How can. How can we help you?

Hey, so I was listening and, you know, I got some advice. You know, it's all about self worth. But I've been single for five years and I open myself to dating. I'm a single mom.

Mom.

But it just seems like every man that I meet just wants to be a fuck buddy. And I want to get out of that rut. How. But I also have needs, so.

Well, there you go. You just said a word there. And I'm going to tell you something about sex, which is really interesting. And this will be interesting if Emily goes along with me here. Sex is not an expression of love. It was supplemented for the lack of emotional relationship, which is the wrong reason why we have 8 billion people on the earth and why there's so much promiscuity that goes on for the wrong reason. People are having sex for the wrong reason. And they'll, They'll. You'll have guys convincing you. And here is the one thing that both men and women do. If they can't find an emotional relationship, they can put a notch in their belt if they get one sexually. If they have one night stands or something, they go, oh, wow, I got a stroke. Your ego. You do not. I can tell you that as a psychic right now, you do not believe in yourself as a woman, as a Beautiful, divine woman. You do not believe that you are loving but you also know how to have sex. And so many of the guys want to use you as a fuck buddy because you don't believe you're deserving enough to have something more than that. I'm telling you that right now. You may argue against that, but I'm telling you, go within.

Jackie, what do you think?

Oh, hammer on the nail.

Okay, I know that and it's from your past hun. It has nothing to do with you and it has nothing to do with your value. You were supposed to be taught as a little girl, especially being heterosexual, that you were a princess who deserved a knight in shining armor.

That's not true.

Those aren't fantasies. Those aren't fantasies. Those are. We create those icons because of the possibilities of what love can be. And that's what it was for me. But the moment you now reparent yourself and let you yourself know that you deserve that. And as a single mom you think that that's a strike against you. It's not for men. There are men who love the idea that a woman has a child and can be nurturing and loving and you deserve to have somebody better. But you've got to put that signal out there and go deep. Take a spiritual path and what I mean by that is not a religious one. It's a deep one to examine your self beliefs of who you are are, your relationship to others, your relationship to the world and your relationship to something greater. And you will have and attract a better relationship than you have in the past. Forget what you've done in the past and just realize you deserve your night. Okay?

Okay Jackie, Thanks Jackie. All right, thank you, thanks for calling. I mean I feel like. Should we try to take one more. We're okay. Let's talk to Ryan 30 in Los Angeles question for you about his luck life. Hey, is this the Ryan.

Hi Ryan. Hi Ryan. Ryan's a frequent caller fan of the show. Hey, so what's your question? Vincent Jenner.

Yes, Vincent. All right, well yeah, so I, I wonder if I can get some insight here. I feel like. And it's been the same with the last caller, it's been quite a while since my last series relationship, a lot of flings but nothing really that I felt like I could really commit to in the long run and I'm starting to think is there such thing as having too high of standards? Like if I, I feel like I don't want to settle.

Okay, great, we only have the two more minutes so so. Okay, go ahead. Thanks, Ryan. Okay, hold, please.

If you were listening earlier, make that list of the top 10 things you want, but make sure they're in you. Your list and your expectations have nothing to do with another person.

You.

You have no expectations for yourself. Create them for yourself and you will attract that in another person. It has nothing to do with somebody else that they don't live up to your expectations. You're creating excuses because you don't believe you deserve it. Again, like the other caller, you've got to go in there and believe you deserve something more than that. And the other piece of advice that I've got to tell you is stop focusing on your penis.

Ryan, are you focusing on your pen?

I guess maybe a little too much. I guess so.

Wow.

That's what you got a hand for, buddy.

I'll think about that.

I will.

I like it. Thanks, Ryan. Thanks for calling. Now we won't hear from Ryan again because we just solved Ryan's problems. I do think that Ryan needs to look at himself a little bit more. He's called in a lot. We love Ryan, but I feel like, yeah, he's got to do his work. Yes, we all have to do our work.

You do, but it's because you're so worth it. It's not because I don't want anybody to get the wrong impression that I am putting everybody down. You all have problem. Problem is that you don't know that your problems don't define who you are. Your soul, your divinity, your magnificence defines who you are, the meaning of who you are.

Please rate us wherever you listen to the show. You guys, it's awesome. You can give us five stars. Just look down right now at your phone and whatever platform you're listening on, do that review us comment on itunes. Thank you. Thanks to my awesome team. Ken, Kristen, Elisa, producer Jamie, Anthony, Michael, was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com.

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