Best Of: 5 Bedroom Mistakes You Might Be Making

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Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex.

Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them in a bygone day.

Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standards. Oh, my.

Women know about shrinkage.

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean, like laundry? It shrinks.

Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me? Oh, my God. That feels so good.

Being bad feels pretty good. But, you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com where you can listen to all of my podcasts, which there are plenty. But you can also just subscribe on itunes so you never miss another show again. And you can check out my mailing list. And we add blogs every day and videos and things that will help make your sex and relationships so much better. I am thrilled to be sitting here with Mana.

Hello, Emily. It's been a long time.

It's been like, the longest we've ever gone.

I know.

We're, like, in a long distance relationship.

I felt like you broke up with me.

Did you?

No, no, no. I know that you were busy because I follow you on Instagram. Sex with Emily on Instagram.

Sex with Emily on Instagram.

And you were everywhere. It seems like you. Seems like you were out of town a lot for some reason.

Yeah, I was.

There was, like, this awkward photo shoot with you and your brother that I saw, like, photos of, like, what is that all about?

Okay, so you have to. So the commercials, I'm actually gonna be tweeting them this weekend because they're funny. It's. I'm Twitter Sex with Emily. Menace is menace across the board. And so my brother, you know, he's a lawyer.

Yeah.

And he does a lot of commercial advertising in Michigan.

Yeah. Your brother's a badass, by the way.

I know.

He's way more fun than we are.

He is, right? How fun is my. We partied hard with my brother.

Yeah.

And so when I was in Michigan a few weeks ago doing some other work, he was like, hey, will you be one of my commercials? So we shot these, like, 30 second spots that are playing, like, all over Michigan. I was going to tweet one out this weekend because all my friends in Michigan are like, hey, you're on tv. So. But we looked like a couple or something. Right? It's weird. Or like a news team.

Yes.

Sitting there. Yeah, it was fun.

I thought it was hilarious.

It was big.

Like, what is this all about? Because I knew your brother did.

You're like, why would he want sex with Emily? Talking about lawyers, I just said, my brother is the best lawyer, you know, or something like that. I don't even remember. But it was good. You know, people. My brother's like a celeb there. He walks around, he's like, michael. Hey, Mike. Because it's like, what is it? 855? Mike wins. Like, that's his whole thing, you know, he's like an ambulance chaser, but he does really personal injury. No, he's super successful.

Yeah, he's a good lawyer.

Yeah. And he's like billboards everywhere. And so I just said, my brother is. You know. You know what? I'll show him to you. So it was a good time. And then I was in Michigan. I was in Las Vegas for the sex toy show, which I got, guess what? A lot of new sex toys.

A dump truck full of sex toys.

Yeah. We drove in the Mini Cooper.

Two of us, three of us, and a whole buttload of sex toys. And that was really fun. And what else is happening?

I'm surprised you didn't get stopped at the border between California, Nevada. That would have been hilarious if we.

Got stopped for the sex. Well, you know, I. Well, that's why I drive now. Because the first time I went to the sex toy show, I had probably like 40. That's when I was like. Used to be like, I was like, oh, my God, you're gonna give me a freeway now. I'm like, I've got that. I've got that. I don't need that. Give it to them. But I had, like, 40, and I went through security, and they're like, what the hell? I'm like, I was at the sex toy show. And then, like, I gave the security person a little mini vibe and it was all cool, and they let me through. Not like, it's illegal. It's just a plentiful amount.

Yeah.

And in some states, it is illegal. How many toys you're allowed to own.

Oh, yeah.

But Nevada's not one of them.

I think it was like, Texas.

That was Texas. Or Florida.

Yeah, it's like all the messed up shit goes down in Texas, something crazy like that. But yeah, I've been following your adventures through Instagram.

I thought. I didn't even think you'd look at my.

Oh, I do.

I follow yours too. You're always having great meals at Disneyland.

Yeah, I'm actually going to Disneyland tomorrow.

No, you're not, dude. What?

Well, it's my buddies is my buddy's wife's birthday, so that's what I'm going.

I mean, really, like, you spend a more time with Mickey Mouse than most friends 5 year olds I know.

No, well, the thing is, like, I, you know, of course, I think I've probably mentioned this a bunch of times on the podcast before, but I've had friends that work out like Pixar and stuff like that. So we do like adult.

Yeah, like vip, right?

Yeah.

But you don't go on rides or anything.

No, I do go on rides and stuff like that. But, you know, it's like, we're not hanging out with little kids.

I know.

There is.

You're not talking to Mickey Mouse.

No, no. There's a whole adult side to Disneyland that most people don't even write a book on it. I should, I should.

Seriously, no one knows that.

Yeah.

They should take the babysitter, take the kids to Disneyland, and the adults go, have a good day.

I totally know how it looks because until I tell people about it, like, oh, you can do this, this and this. And they're like, you know, why are you going there all the time?

I love.

But there's. It's great place to have dinners and.

You know, some fancy, like, Disneyland restaurant.

Yeah. Sometimes I go to Club 33, which is this super ultra exclusive, exclusive restaurant. It's a five star restaurant in, In Disney Park.

But you get drunk and like hang out.

You can drink. Yeah. And then California Adventure, the. The other side of the park, it's. There's. You can drink everywhere around the park and then they have cars.

I wouldn't want you to not be drinking.

Yeah, it's.

It's.

It's a good time. And so it's. I just go have fun there all the time. I didn't. You know, I live probably like 35 minutes away now, so.

Oh, right. That's true. Oh my God, that's so close. I didn't even think about that. It's like me coming to you over to your house. Yeah.

And both of us are from San Francisco, so when we have friends in town, what are they always doing? They're going To Disneyland. So of course I just go there.

So you going with your girlfriend?

Yeah.

How's that going?

It's good.

You guys are super happy.

Yeah.

Dude, I never get anything from you. I can't believe you've been in this like 10 year relationship now and I've never heard of Pete. Three years.

But three years, I guess three years. I don't know.

Doesn't she ever say like, happy anniversary, sweetie?

No, we don't even do any of that stuff. Well, the thing is, you know, because I don't like people to. To pry.

Because I know I'm prying right now.

Yeah, no, see, thing is, if I introduce you to my girlfriend, which will never happen, and you already met her before, but you just don't realize it.

Oh, God.

You just asked a billion questions. And why would I want that in my life?

I would not. Dude, you think I'm gonna grill your girlfriend? Really? You think I'm inappropriate? I would like grill her. I would hang out with her.

Yeah, of course.

No, I wouldn't at all. I would never say. You don't grill my boy. If you've met guys I've dated.

Yeah, because I don't care.

I know what I'm saying. I think I would not grill her for information. What do you think I would. Inappropriate. I'm just doing another are good though. And your morning show is good. Yeah.

My mother's not even met my girlfriend, so don't.

Dude, I don't care. It's fine. I just want to see you. But you probably just go out with her, so, you know, it's cool. I'm just glad to see you here. And how's your. Your morning show?

It's great. The Woody show. It's on alt 98.7 in here in Los Angeles Monday through Friday. And we have like billboards all over the place.

I've seen your billboards. Oh my God. I took a picture of your billboard. It's like, right? And I meant to Instagram it. You got remind me after. Yeah, yeah, I was so. I've seen them menace on a billboard.

That's crazy, right?

You moved here for like five minutes and you've billboard. That's like the American dream.

Yeah, I guess it is.

Is it a podcast? People listen to it. Does it?

Yeah, it's the Woody show. It's. You know, there's no sex on there.

Because I know people are here for Woody boners, right? That's okay. We are going to talk about sex today. We're going to talk about the Five mistakes men make in bed, which might be good for you, Menace.

All right.

And we're also reading emails that people sent to feedbackexwith emily.com but it's not about sex, but it's entertainment. Morning show. Yeah, yeah, I get it.

We just talk about, like, pop culture and stuff.

Oh, Jesus. Any sex and pop culture that you can share with me. It's so funny because I don't know anything about pop culture now since we haven't talked.

I mean, there's a lot divorce in pop culture. There's a lot of stuff going down. Who's divorcing Amber Rose and Wiz Khalifa.

Right.

That I saw that they're getting a divorce. They're both said that the other are cheat. There. There was cheating involved.

Okay.

And then there was some other big divorce just recently. Who was it? I always pay attention to, like, all the hip hop stuff, but there was somebody else big that just was getting a divorce. I don't know. But also. No. Yeah, they're buying some, like, crazy mansion in Los Angeles. But. Oh, Ryan Goslin and Eva Mendez just.

Had a baby, Right? It wasn't like, secret. Like, she didn't tell anyone she was pregnant forever or was his baby or something. I don't know.

There was. Well, because they were on and off again having a relationship. And I know when she got pregnant, they didn't really make it too public.

Maybe they weren't even together. And they're like, let's try to make it work for the baby, which never works. So let's just, like, wait for the divorce and. Or, like, did they get married? Or wait. Wait for the breakup announcement.

And I don't know if they got him. Oh, we both have a Fitbit.

Sorry. I got excited. I cut myself off. So that's not a good reason to stay together and get pregnant.

Mila. Mila Kunis just had a baby.

Right?

Either people are having babies or having divorces.

Exactly. That's how it goes down.

There's one other big divorce that I can't.

I don't even know. It doesn't matter. I mean, I. I mean, I just think that people are getting divorced all the time. It's a cycle of life, and it shouldn't be, you know, such a bump. I mean, it's very sad if you have family and kids and all that, but happens. I just hope that people should make. Should wait till they're 30 to get married at least and get to know themselves before they jump in.

But no one cares about that.

No one really cares about my.

My life. They want to know what's going on with you. I'm the only one that asks you.

I'm dating nobody. What?

You're dating?

Oh, no, I'm dating.

Say you're dating somebody.

No. When was that time? I've had a serious thing. I really.

I'm trying to think. I have not really been nothing good. I'm trying to think. I had sex with like, it's been. I was dating this guy on and off, far away. Like too far. Yeah, like, like, like half hour away. 45 minutes. It was too hard. It was too hard.

So you don't want to make that effort.

But I know I'm turning it around though now and I'm switching my whole life around and everything's gonna be really. I'm gonna make it more balanced.

Tell me the massive plan.

My massive plan.

See, you probably hung out with your brother and he probably set you straight. That's what happened.

No, he didn't. He doesn't even try to talk. We don't even talk about this stuff anymore. But no, I think I'm just, you know, I've been in LA now almost two years. I think. Wow, crazy, dude. I don't even know how this happened. I moved here for business because it's entertainment capital of the world, apparently. And no, it's been great. But I've been working my ass off since I got here and I haven't prioritized relationships and all that stuff, which, you know, that I never really had before either. But now I feel that, like, people are. I have a few fix ups coming down the road. Like, I'm getting fixed up with like two different people in the next few weeks and I'm just gonna start going out more and I'm planning nights on my calendar where I'm gonna go out with my friends and be social and do things. Cause I feel like the last few months have just been insane and I haven't. Yeah, I was dating like this and that and this and that, but I'm just so tired of dating guys that I'm half into.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

That's my pattern my entire life. Right? Yeah, I'm always like, kind of into them, but not totally.

You don't want to put any effort into it and it's just a waste of your time.

I don't have time because I'm trying to survive.

If you just want to hook up with people, just go on Craigslist or Tinder or something.

Exactly. I know. And I'm not interested in just. I've had interest in just hooking up. Right? Like, I don't want to just have random. I really don't. Like, I've done that in my life. I've done, like. I don't know. I'm feeling like I'm in a good place, though. And I feel like things are gonna calm down and I'm whatever, getting structured, good things happening.

I mean, as long as you stick to it, then I support it.

You support me?

If you're not just, you know, blowing smoke up my ass.

I'm not blowing smoke up your ass because I'm making a commitment to everyone now. But, you know, I stuff that I don'. I meet guys.

You're not conforming to what everybody wants.

You to Never have, never will, never. No, dude, me. No. I mean. And I don't know that it's gonna be monogamous. I don't know what it's gonna be. But, you know, And I get asked out, but I just. I wanna be excited about them. Is that too much to ask for?

And what's it gonna take to get you excited? Jesus.

It's gonna take a lot. Because also, I do feel like the sex with Emily thing now, remember at the beginning, everyone was like, oh, is it weird? Cause you're sex with Emily? But I was always like, I never really identified as that. But now it's been. I just 10 years almost since we've been doing this. And you can't, like, they Google me. Like, you can't avoid it. Like, it sucks. Do I want to be with that? Like, what would my parents say if I brought them dinner? Like, there's this whole thing that comes with, like, sex, family or do they just want to date me? Because, like, there's this one guy that I'm super hot for that I'm actually going out with tomorrow night. But it's professional. Like, we work together professionally and it wouldn't be right to hook up. But he's so hot. But I also know that there's a little flirty thing and I'm like, okay, is it just because.

Of sex? Is he interested or not? Because I've also had instances where it's happened since I've been in LA and I've gone out with someone and I could just. And we end up dating for a while and we had sex, and then I wasn't into him, but I just. I don't know. I think it was just more like, they're interested in, like, is she great or Is she horrible? Like, I want to know. Yeah, right?

Yeah. Is she a super freak?

Everyone thinks I'm a super freak. I should be super freakier than I'm. You know, I have my moments. But I just think it's weirder here in la. The people are different too.

Yeah.

Don't you think that, like, the people here from San Francisco, especially being a woman, I feel like not even the men, but the. The women. Like, everyone's in the business, so. Which is why we moved here.

Yeah.

But then everyone's in the business, so everyone's like. There's like competition and people are just more. Everyone wants something or feel like you can advance them in a way, you know, it's just.

Well, I think that LA has the same complex as San Francisco did, where that the people that are kind of douchey are the ones that actually haven't been born and raised here. Like the people that move from the small town, Wichita, Kansas.

Yeah.

They come here and they want to be super cool guy or super cool chick, and then they're just like, they're really douchey because they're reinventing themselves and everyone.

It is a tough business too. It's like the hardest business in the world to be an entertainer.

Yeah. It feels like in. In San Francisco, they're just like super highbrow, those type of people, and here they're super narcissistic, the ones that are from, you know. But the people that I. That I've met, that are born and raised in Los Angeles. Super cool. Yeah, super cool.

Yeah, that's true.

But then also, you. You also hang out with a lot of entertainment people too. I believe it or not, even though I work on a morning show in Los Angeles, I just work on terrestrial radio. I don't like, like, I'm not hanging out with, like, actors and actors or anything like that.

I don't.

Or anybody considered in.

Like, I do hang out with Dr. Drew and his wife a lot. Yeah, well, Dr. Drew is super cool to Laguna Beach.

What?

Are you serious? Yeah, we went on a vacation. They have a house in Laguna Beach. It was really fun. And yeah, they want me to come to Cabo. We're like. I'm like. But I know it sounds weird, but I'm like, there's. I'm like their friend. Like, we hang out. Do they want to throw some? I'm like, no, it's not like that at all.

But no, Drew is super cool.

He's really cool.

I got to watch football with him once in Vegas. That was Cool.

I remember that. Yeah, it's like recently. Yeah.

But no, just saying that. I think that's the thing. You just gotta, you know. I don't know. I mean, you do loveline all the time. So you. You're around like actors and.

Yeah, yeah, that's right. They come in. Who? I never know. I always laugh. I'm like menace text me when he hears who the band is. Because I never. I'm like googling them under the table. Like, who are you? Band? Because I don't know.

But I saying like, maybe some of the people you could be around at certain times. Not dinosaur because he's down to earth and cool, but could be kind of douchey, you know? I hate being around bands. Yeah.

Which is your job.

Yeah, but is it.

Not anymore. Are you still covering bands like you did and then we got to get into.

Yeah, I do. I actually have to go to Las Vegas in like two weeks. I have to go to the Life is Beautiful music festival.

Yeah.

So I'll be there covering that kind of stuff.

Okay, that's fine.

But.

But you hate it because you hate the douchey bands.

No, no, no. I mean, there's very few bands that I like to talk to personally, but other. They're all stuck up. I like talking to pop stars more because they're actually. They're actually pretty cool.

Right. Bands are like just too cool or whatever.

Yeah. The one hit wonders are usually the ones that are douches.

Right, right, right. I totally get it. Okay, now we're gonna give a little shout out to our sponsors. I need to talk to you about the Rave. You know, I love WE Vibes. Famous couples toys and their superpowered bullet vibes. Which is why I'm so excited to introduce the incredible Rave. First glance, the Rave appears to be a simple sculptural vibrator. But when you look closer, you'll see an array of facets and asymmetrical curves that make it so special. The Rave was designed with one primary goal. To help women locate and stimulate their G spot. Once inserted, a gentle twist in either direction will glide the Rave's varied angles and faces over your most sensitive areas. And it allows you this precise control and pinpoint stimulation. Pretty soon, you'll find your G spot and know exactly how to make it happen. It's hard for some people to find their G spot. It has all these vibration patterns. It's rechargeable, 100% body safe materials. And you can use their We Vibe Connect app. So go to sexthelmy.com, click on the Ray by We Vibe banner and use code Emily for a special, very special discount. So now we're gonna sex the news a little bit.

Yeah.

Okay.

I'm like trippin like here.

How are you trippin?

I don't know.

Are you?

Yeah.

Okay, you're hearing. Do you want to talk about that noise?

Somebody's singing or something. It's tripping me out. Go ahead.

So would you wear condom pants.

For the common man? Okay. So this might be the best form of birth control to hit the market yet because nobody will have sex with you if you wear it. The Scrogart is essentially a girdle made of latex that when paired with a condom, reduces skin to skin contact over the entire genital region. It's a well meaning product with a big caveat. It's not FDA approved and isn't officially designed to protect against STDs like herpes. So what the hell's the point? You wear like this big like, it's like you're wearing a friggin diaper.

It's like a diaper and it's actually like if you're wearing, I don't know, just underwear almost.

Yeah. Not hot, but you're not gonna get laid. Yeah, that's.

It's like you're wearing boxer briefs, but it's rubber.

Okay. People just wear condoms. Okay. No one wears, I feel like no one uses condoms. And everyone, people think like, oh, it doesn't matter anymore, blah blah, blah, it does matter. You can get a disease and like you should be wearing condoms. Just have. And people, I think guys like, oh, I hate it, uncomfortable. But there are so many great condoms out there that are like, there's so many different kinds. They've got like for her pleasure, his pliers, lifestyles, all these really cool condoms. It's like, just wear freaking condoms because you're going to get a disease. You don't have to wear a goddamn diaper. Also, speaking of contraception, this is sort of a sad story that there's a. There was a potato found growing in a woman's vagina after she used it as contraception.

Oh yeah, I seen that.

Yeah. A Colombian woman complaining of abnormal pains shocked doctors when the cause of her ailment was revealed. She used a potato as a form of contraception.

Yeah.

The vegetable started to sprout roots that had started to grow inside the 22 year old's reproductive organs. The unnamed woman told her doctor her mother advised her to use a potato. This is why we need sex education. Granted, it was in Columbia, but so lucky for the young woman, she will not suffer any lasting effects. And the spurs removal did not require any surgery. Oh, God. The highlights serious issue concerning the youth of Colombia who are rejecting contraceptive methods like condoms. And they drink. Can you imagine the potato?

Potato? Yeah.

I've seen like, I get grossed out from the potato that grows in my refrigerator if I ever have food in my refrigerator. And it does that. Okay, people, so just. Yeah, condoms. That's all I'm gonna say. Or birth control bill. But also, if you're with a new partner and there is a new app out that like, remember we always talk about this, that you could actually share your STD reports with the your partner. But that's sexy. But really get tested and use condoms.

It's crazy. I, you know, also other things in sex in the news. So have you heard of the yes means yes whole political thing that's going on? They came out with consent. Yeah. So yes means yes. You know, somebody has to be right, completely sober, even if they like say y yes to having sex with you.

Right.

It's mainly for, like, colleges. They came out with the consent app where like, people do, you know, type in their phone numbers and then like verify their ID and then say yes on each side. So just so you have a document before you have sex. Right. So we tried this on our morning show and we were like seven minutes in and we still couldn't get it to work. Right.

Oh, really?

So we're like, ah, off board.

Seven minutes. First of all, who's gonna do that? But it's a great idea. There should be, well, there should be consent and you should say yes and, and you should be sober. I mean, if you're not sober, don't take advantage. There's all these things.

Yeah, but there's so many people that have sex that are not sobering.

I know most people have sex for the first time not sober, but I'm just saying, you know, rape. Like if someone says no, and just because you're like kissing someone doesn't mean that they're giving you consent to have sex with you.

Yeah, totally.

But it's a good intention, you know, but who's gonna like, sign a contract before we fuck? It's not sexy. But you know, hey, if it works. Okay. Another sex. The news survey says half of married women have a backup husband in mind. It's like a backup drive. They have a backup husband.

Oh, yeah, of course.

It's always good to have a plan B. Especially when it comes to restaurant reservations, travel arrangements and babysitters. But what about spouses? A new not so scientific survey. These are always the best ones that are not so scientific. A thousand married women conducted by the daily mail said 50% have a fallback partner should their current marriage take turn for the worse.

I think it's more than that.

More than more.

50% totally.

The most common backup husbands, according to the survey, tend to be old friends with romantic intentions. Ex boyfriends, ex husbands, colleagues, or someone from the gym, probably their trainer. In fact, 10% of participants said their backup guy had already confessed his love in the past. And 20% claimed the dude would drop everything to be with her. She asked. So I wonder if women are just using this in their minds, like, I can always escape from this marriage.

Yeah, they always have. It's called the glass dildo. They break the glass and get the dildo. And I think it's way more than 50.

Yeah, they think they. Do you think they're gonna bring up their husband? They're like, hey, old flame.

Yeah, especially with Facebook too.

They like, dude, we talked about this. Facebook's like responsible for like, what is it, like two and five divorces or something?

No, it's, it's going to like, they're saying like 7 out of 10 now is due to Facebook.

Yeah. Everyone clear your friggin browsers, get rid of your password. I mean, seriously, I mean, people are gonna be flirting anyway.

Yeah.

I mean, don't cheat, obviously. And emotional cheating is cheating. Like if you're chatting with someone. But everyone's just like, you don't even have to ask anymore. What? You looked at their phone, you looked at their browser. It's like unloved line. People calling in, they're like, oh, my boyfriend starts pouring. Because I noticed like the last 50 things you searched for. It's crazy. People don't know to clear the passwords on the browsers.

Yeah.

And I'm not saying like you also shouldn't like cheat and have these flirty things, but I feel like everyone's had these emotional affairs.

This local story, this guy.

Got upset and because his friend poked his, his girlfriend on Facebook, they got in a fight and he accidentally killed the guy because he knocked him out and he.

Fell over because he poked her, like sent the. Which I didn't even know still.

Yes. That's how like crazy people are getting over. Face Facebook.

Yeah, people. Oh yeah, people are going crazy over or even Instagram too. Oh, they.

Oh, they like that photo and.

Yeah, exactly. I know And I know a lot of people who meet or now be like, forget all the dating apps are just meeting through, like, Tinder or not Tinder, but, yeah, Instagram. Oh, he liked my photo. Didn't like my photo. Then I went in. We direct message through Instagram, which. I don't know how you do that, but people do that. I don't need another way to get messages from people. But, yeah, it's crazy. I mean, I guess. I mean, but. But were people. Since I've been doing this and since I can remember, the stats have always been that, like, 50% of married men and women cheat. So it seems like now there's more and more ways to cheat than there were 10 years ago. But I don't know.

Options.

You have more options? Yeah, because literally, like, even with the event of text messaging, you know, the booty call used to be, like, you literally had to, like, call. But now you could send a text, 10 people, and whoever, like, answers back first. You can sort of. But does it mean that you just. That people are breaking down, that marriage are any quicker because there's more opportunities to cheat? I wonder.

My buddy who was married and was going through a divorce, and he was going through, like, counseling and stuff like that. His whole thing was like, back in the day, people didn't live as long, you know, that's true, too.

People would, like, live into their 50s. Now people are living into, like, their 80s, you know. And then so he goes, I can't stay with a person for 40 plus years who wants to.

Exactly. I think that's true. I think that it's very outdated and that the people that. Who do stay together, I think are amazing and they. And they really have to work at it. And that's why people, you know, don't realize that marriage does take work. I mean, I'm not saying, like, the people who stay together 40, 50 years, but everyone goes through their hard periods in marriage, too. Like, my mom always says a lot of her friends have been together, like, you know, 50 years. She's like, well, everybody I know, they, like, had, you know, they, you know, Bob cheated on Jan 30 years ago, but they're still together. They got through it, you know, my mom's voice. But so there's gonna be problems that happen. But I don't even know if it's that natural. Like, just do anything for 40 years.

Yeah. And then also, like, if. Let's say Bob cheated on Jan. Right. Well, Jan nowadays is gonna go online and talk a bunch of crap about it, and then all of her friends are going to be able to chime in. And back then, you know, the reason.

That back then, they weren't tracked as much. Right. They weren't even. They weren't as many ways to find out and to be caught, that's another thing, too. People are getting caught a lot easier with technology. Okay, I'm going to move into the five mistakes that men are making in bed and how to fix them. We've done a lot of talk about. About, you know, how men can kind of improve in the bedroom.

And.

And, you know, there's certain things that men just don't know. I think they've never learned. They've never, you know, and I'm just going to try to correct that. And we're also going to do mistakes women make. But the thing is, like, the whole vagina region. Right. Confusing. Like, you've always said, the Rubik's Cube of life. I know it's very confusing. But the problem is when it comes to, like, manually stimulating a woman, I get it. That there's, like, no rhyme or, like, a lot of guys actually hurt women. Like, they're sticking their hands in their finger, the whole thing, and it's, like, painful. So I've talked about this a lot in the show, but you have to learn the female anatomy. You should always start slower with them. And you don't want to be like, you're, like, digging around in a change purse with your hands and her with, like, your nails. Make sure your nails are cut short. It's a vagina, not a change purse. And, you know, it's. There's so many men who just don't, like, you know, you want to, like, go slow. You want to.

Ask her what she wants, ask what she needs, and make sure she's lubricated, because guys just, like, stick it in right away. And she's not turned on, which is why you might need this fleshly. And you know that I think there should be a lube on every nightstand in the world. So that is one thing, is just to slow it down because the guys just, like, do the finger thing or they're going down a woman and they go too fast. So slow that down. That is the mistake, is not listening and paying attention that she could be in pain because women have sex wounds from men.

Yeah.

Putting their fingers into her. Have you ever heard a woman. Have you ever made a woman bleed?

Yeah. Again, going too fast, you know?

Yeah. I taught you that. Slow down. I think you're probably having better sex now. And you don't even know it.

Yeah, a guy gets erect in like five seconds, right. But you know, he can't keep it up that long. You. Not forever. Right, right. So he's just like trying to get in there as quickly as possible. And you know, woman has to be warmed up first, of course, because they can never make it easy.

We never make it easy ever.

But you know, life.

I know that's hard too. For 40 years, if you're with someone, you're like, really? I gotta go down there for 25 minutes? Which I know that you don't. You like, what is it, like eight minutes before play?

Eight minutes.

Remember you used to always ask me how long, how long? Really? How long, how long, how long? I'm like 45 minutes.

Well, do you know, because the actual. It was funny because I also just read some survey. You know, the actual like penetration part.

Yeah, on average.

Yeah, on average. Because they were doing like fat guys versus skinny guys. And fat guys actually last way longer in bed than skinny guys.

Really? Yeah.

Can you believe it?

No.

Yeah.

I did not know that. I wonder if that. It is science. I'm sure it's. I'm sure it's a very science study, but it's like.

It's like way more amount of minutes than a skinny guy does.

I wonder what that has to do with more stuff. I don't even know. I don't believe this study. Send it to me.

No, it's. I'll get it. It's like from Harvard or something.

That's awesome. Okay, well, listen, so that's one thing. Just learn the female anatomy. You can like buy my book Hot Sex. You can just ask questions. Ask, ask, ask the guys who are the best lovers. Just every vagina that you meet that you come across is a new opportunity to learn. So if you messed up the last one or didn't work out, like, you should just. They're all different, so you might as well learn how to use this one. So the next thing is guys. Some guys get too dirty too fast. I think it's porn. They talk dirty too fast. They're like, hey, let's, you know, they. They want to try things that they see in porn. They're like, I'm going to spank you. I'm going to pull your hair and all this stuff. And that could freak a woman out. Now she might be into it eventually, but not like the first time you're together. Not the second time you're together even. I mean, it might even be need to be addressed beforehand. Like, talking dirty or whatever, what she's comfortable with. So, again, so done. Just start with, like, you know, you're my bitch, whatever. Unless you guys have already been, like, sexting, which a lot of do, before they even get to know each other, which I have a problem with, too. This whole premature escalation. If you're.

Yeah.

If you're set up on a date with someone and then you start sexting before you meet them, and then it's, like, predetermined that you're already gonna have sex, but just, you know, go. Go again with that. Like, you don't want to just start off with the dirty talk and start with the. All the stuff. Because it could. Even though women. A lot of women like that, it could scare them away. You know what I mean? I feel you, and then I don't. We've talked.

Well, it's crazy because you say that, because I don't know. I never been on Tinder. But isn't like, a lot of the.

You would love it if you were single.

Isn't a lot of the conversations, like, get to that point, like, super quick?

This is the problem with it, because everyone says it's a hookup app, and a lot of people have hooked up on it. And I think that. I think it's almost. People are expecting that women are like, oh, I'm not gonna get. We're not gonna go out unless I participate in this sexting. And I don't know, maybe women started too. I just think, like, why would you start a whole relationship, which you are essentially starting with someone, a sexting a whole thing before you meet them? Because it's a freaking waste of time. Because they could show up in person, and there might not be chemistry. They could be a serial killer. Who knows? Let's hope they're not. Yeah, they could have something that you don't like. So just if you do meet someone online, I would. I always say, like, meet them right away as soon as you can. And don't, because then, guess what? If you meet them, you don't like them. You just spent, like, two weeks texting someone that you're like, this time you could be doing so many other things. You could, like, learn French.

Learn French.

I always want to learn French. I just think all the things. I waste time. I want to. I do know French, but I'd like to learn about her. Okay, the third mistake, and this is just, you know, the jackhammer. And Anderson thinks on Loveline that I'm obsessed with it, but I sort of am Because I know that guys have been obsessed with it, always have been obsessed with it. Porn is not real life. So when you see that guy, like, thrusting at 60 miles per hour, it's not because it feels good to her necessarily. Maybe at the end when they're all riled up, maybe she. But typically, you want to go in slow and the thrusting does not feel as good to a woman. In fact, the inner two thirds of a woman's vagina are the most sensitive. So sometimes you try a slower thrusting or ask her what she wants. But I'm telling you, even in my recent years of all this talk about the jackhammer, I've still had jackhammer sex, which I'm like, do you not. So you googled me, but just listen to my show.

No, they don't got time to listen.

They don't listen. They just look at pictures. Exactly, dude. So people search Emily nude. There are no nude photos of people, so stop searching. Which I've never. All these nude photos on in the cloud. Like, how crazy is that?

Super crazy, dude.

You have your own library of, like, sex tapes and stuff. But that was like, before the cloud, right?

Before the cloud, definitely. Yeah. But the.

Did your girlfriend make you throw those away?

Throw them away?

She doesn't know.

No, I don't have them online at all.

No. That's good. That's smart.

But the. The thing is, also, it's so easy to get fished. That's what happened. They. People didn't actually, like, hack into their hard drives. It's every day. Every day. I guarantee you, me and everyone listening gets a fake email that's supposed to look legit.

Yes.

And it tricks you into giving you login information. Right. So that's exactly what happened with these. With these hacked photos.

Really? Like what kind of. But aren't they supposed to be someone to send money in India or something?

No, it's not even that. It'll be like some fake email that looks like it's from Apple will have all the logo information it will have. It'll look like the web address will look like it's from Apple and say, hey, it'll. It'll be an email like this. Like, hey, somebody has tried to break into your. To your cloud, please change your password. And then so when it's asking to change your password, you're putting in your real password.

So that's how they get it.

Wow.

And that happens all the time. So people, if you ever see any emails that are like, that, they're telling.

You of, like all these celebrities Were like that.

Oh, they're just tricked. They were just tricked. Yeah. Or their assistants were tricked. Or somebody was.

It could be their assistance. Yeah.

Yeah. And then so. Or just, like, the dead, even. I, like, who was, like, super keen on this stuff. I can be fooled sometimes. And I never. If you get an email saying, hey, you need to, like, log in or something like that, always go to the actual website. Do not go from the email.

That's so smart.

Go to the actual website and then log in. Do not. Don't even have your email open while you're logging in either, you know?

Wow.

That's.

I didn't know that was why. Okay, just. Good. That's. That's very, very smart. That's, like, the best. We end the show now. That's information. Because I feel like we're gonna stop because I'm. I'm kind of scared about, like. It's kind of scary that everything that we put online. And that's why I've never taken.

I'm not even afraid of, like.

Credit card hacking and all that kind of stuff anymore, because everybody has your information. It's gonna get out there anyway.

So you're gonna get hacked.

Nothing. All you can do is do a credit block on your. On yourself with all the credit bureaus and to say, you know, check with me first before you run my credit. That's the only thing. That's the safest thing that you can do. Do.

Okay.

Do that, people, you know.

Yeah, no, you're right. You're right.

Or, you know, you're gonna see some bill for, like, 500 sex toys.

Right.

You know what I'm saying?

Exactly. For me. No, I. That's true. Right. No, but you should buy sex toys with your. Yeah, no, it is true. I got. I got hacked last year. The credit card company called me, and they knew it, and they fixed it right away. But still, it's true. It's scary. Okay, we are on the fifth. I'm. I'm kind of. Okay. The fourth.

Okay.

Is that a guy tries to, like, knock on your back door without asking first, which happens to so many women that the guy just, like, sticks it in, and she has a really bad experience, and there's not enough lube, and it's painful, and you just don't want to kill the mood any quicker than by doing that. Like, someone will be psyched maybe, but most of them, like, you want to slowly go into the area with your finger, a little lube, and talk about it. But don't just, like, go for It.

I think that, yeah, guys try that all the time and it doesn't work.

It doesn't work. It doesn't work. And she's going to shut it down. And if it's something that you're interested in, it has to be addressed beforehand.

Yeah, it has to be a discussion.

Right. Because we always hear from people all the time that had really bad first experiences and never want to try. And anal sex can be very pleasurable for a lot of women. And men, by the way, straight men, as you know, we've talked about. But you just want to ask. You want to talk about it. You don't want to scare her away, even though it's something that you're fantasizing about. And then also the fifth one is that you're not using your time wisely. And you've heard me say this a million times. There is an orgasm gap, right? Women take 15 to 20 minutes to orgasm. Men take, you know, from one to six on average, like four to six minutes to orgasm. So there is a gap. You have to double up on the foreplay. I get that. Foreplay I talk about all the time. It's annoying, but it's not a suggestion. It is a requirement for women. And it's like, you think about, like, sex is like the previews to a movie, you know, and you're like. And then text is like the feature presentation, but the previews, like, we like that. We gotta, like, lead up to it. And. And we need to be warmed up. And we love. We just. We just need it. And that's why most couples, I think, also couples who've been together a long time, that there's not a lot of time. I get it. You have kids and you have a life or things happen and you don't have time and you're really busy and everyone's frigging busy right now. Right? We're also busy. Like, I don't have time for that. But I'm not saying that you have to do everything for her. You have to sit there for 20. I'm saying it could, you know, foreplay starts after the last orgasm. Text her, that was really hot. So. You looked so beautiful last night. Women need that, right? Madness.

Totally.

Do you ever tell your girlfriend she's.

Beautiful all the time?

No, not ten times a day. Because you get mad at me for saying that.

10 times a day. Compliments. That's ridiculous.

So again, it's foreplay. And in women, if you. And also if you want to last longer, you can also, like I said, Last longer bed. You can always use promescent, which I've talked about, which is the delay spray. Helps you last longer in bed. Okay, Those are the tips. I just wanted to do a little briefing, but we have some emails too.

All right. I love emails from the people.

We love hearing from the people. Okay, dear. What?

Well, I have like a bunch of sex news stuff that I want to talk to you. All right. So have you heard about Tesla's new car? They called it the D. The Tesla D, right.

Yeah. What is it?

And it was funny because everybody was tweeting, oh, Tesla, give me the D. It was hilarious.

Right? Like the deck. Yeah, yeah, I get it.

But anyways, it's a. It's a self driving car. Also imagine what you can do in a self driving car.

I. That scares me.

Why does that scare me?

Well, I actually should have one more than anyone because I'm the worst driver.

But it's amazing. There's already truly like, truly.

So you look over and there'd be nobody in the car?

No, there. You're in the car, but the car's just driving itself.

But how does it know? Because you put in the GPS where you're going.

Yeah, it's crazy. Good.

I haven't even. Have I not seen this? Well, because. Yeah.

Oh, it just came out yesterday.

Okay, good. So explain. How does it work? I mean, you have to be sitting in the seat.

You're sitting in the seat. But also. So there's that. That one. There's more information coming out about it soon. Okay, but there's that. And then.

Do you think you would drive better than I do?

Of course. But think of the possibilities, Emily, you're on your way to Vegas and you're having sex in the backseat of the car.

You just said you have to be sitting in the front seat.

No, I'm just saying you're sitting in the car.

Okay. So you could be having sex, partying, wasted. And it's like having a driver all the time.

Yeah, it's driving for you. How crazy is that?

How does that. I don't believe it. There's like a breakdown.

There's a couple cars doing that. There's like.

I've heard of this.

The Google self driving car has been out for like a couple months.

Not like there must be like accidents and craziness. That's can't be.

It's. No, I trust. I trust like a whole computer system over a human driver.

That's.

That's.

Yeah, you're right. You know, because I actually.

Okay.

All that stuff. And then Audi, they're testing some self driving cars in San Francisco. They're like demo videos are insane. Like the car you. Let's say you drive up to like, let's say the Four Seasons in downtown San Francisco. Because that's how you roll, right?

Right.

So you pull up in your Audi, you get out of the car in front of the hotel, and then with your iPhone, you hit park. And then the car goes and finds parking itself, and then parks.

Shut up.

And then you're like, okay, well I'm done hooking up with this guy that I hooked up with in the hotel. And then you say, come back. You hit the button and then the car comes back and pulls up in the front. Like, I swear to God.

Does it put quarters in the meters and stuff or parks in the forest in the garage?

Yeah, crazy, right?

Crazy. But that's awesome because I hate looking for parking. I hate driving.

I'm trying to get back to the. The actual point of the story that.

You could have sex on the way to Vegas.

Good. How crazy is that? Right?

That's crazy.

So next year you got to buy.

The D. Yeah, I should buy the Tesla.

You can just do crazy stuff in there. I know you would imagine the pornos you can do.

I know. I was thinking that, like, it probably I should shoot a porno after all this time. I'd be so good at it. But I think that, like, I was thinking yesterday, if I had major success and I could do anything, I'm like, I really think, like financial success, I would. I would get a driver first thing. Like, I just. I shouldn't even be driving. You know you've driven with me, right?

Yeah, it's insane.

You were driving with me when I was dating that guy and I crashed his crash.

His Escalade. It was. Oh, hilarious.

Wait, I didn't really crash it. I just backed up.

Yeah, it ended up being the biggest.

Douchebag I've literally ever dated. So I don't feel bad about that. All right, but it was so long ago. But you were in the car, right?

It was scary. Yeah.

That is so funny. I totally face based on that. Okay, so I would like one of those. Okay.

Luckily I was there.

Dude, that is so funny.

Flipped out on you.

He was the wor. Was. Wait, was I. Was I. Why was I driving?

I don't know, Freaking Cadillac.

S. Whatever. Those huge cars.

Yeah, it was like the XL version.

Stupid car. Stupid car. Stupid guy. Sorry, Chris Car.

I love those cars.

Yeah, but it's so big. For me. Why was I driving? It was that little garage. Whatevs. Okay, so Emily. Okay. Emails. I'm a 23 year old college girl and although I like to think I'm fairly educated about my sexual health, I have no idea what to do when it comes to being on top or talking dirty. I don't have sex often, no boyfriend or not a fan of hooking up, so I don't get a lot of practice. Is there anything I can do to prepare? Plus, the few times I've done it, I start to feel awkward and it kills the mood. Same with dirty talk. I have no idea what to say, especially on the fly. I've only with one guy, so I'm afraid my inexperience will be obvious to my next partner. Your advice would be tremendously appreciated. Thanks, Angie. This dirty talk brings me back to our misadvised show when we had to talk dirty to each other on the air.

Yeah.

Do you remember that?

Yeah, I don't think that ended up on the air.

No, it did. It did.

Oh, it did.

It was one of the episodes. It's the show we did on Bravo, which seems like forever ago. Two years.

Yeah.

And yeah, I did have to Talk Dirty to youo. It did have been up in the air. Yeah, totally. Okay, so this woman. So talking dirty is an art form. We had a set phone sex I brought on the show. And it's a form. It's an art form. And comes to when it. It's like, it's really. But it's not that hard. Like you really just in the moment have to describe like what you're feeling and start softly. Like you don't want to freak him out or freak her out and you want to feel it out. Like explain what you are feeling in the moment or what you want at the moment. Like, I can't wait to feel your hands all over my body. Or I want to feel your hands. Or that feels so good I can't wait to taste you. I mean, it's just like you talk. Or you could talk about what's happening in the moment. Your hands feel so good on my waist, my breath. I mean, you start like narrating. What is happening in the moment would be my way of. And not in like a really fast voice, like I'm talking, but like, like, you know, like I want your hands all over my body. Or kiss me here. That feels so good. Don't stop, don't stop. I mean, just little things like that will like build up to it. Like I want you, you know, right? It's like, but don't. Then you Skype Zachs. But it doesn't have to be a whole thing. I think that you're way overthinking this, and I love that you're asking Angie because you don't have a lot of experience, but I think that she's probably thinking about this because she's not having all the sex, but she's sexting, and it probably makes her uncomfortable. And she's like, what do I say? But I think that you don't have to say anything crazy. Just like I said earlier, the mistakes men make is they take things down a dirty road too fast. So just, you know, it comes after, like, you know, just like when you're more comfortable with somebody and it can be more effective. You know, you don't want to, like, again, just describe what you want in the moment. I want you to do this or this feels so good. I want to put your penis in my mouth. But you might say another word for that about being on top. So this is interesting. I got interviewed by Cosmo magazine the other day about women on top position. And so many. One of the questions was, like, so many women are so insecure about being on top because of their breasts, their stomach, you know, their whole thing. And they're. They're like on display, and they are very insecure about it. And so I was saying ways that first of all, like, insecurities and self esteem is one of the biggest killers of women's sex drives. So if she doesn't even know how to do it, I would say, like, you just gotta climb on top. A lot of women, they want to grind back and forth if hopefully, Angie, you know how to make yourself. You not have an orgasm. So you'll know what feels good on your clitoris or your G spot. And you just, like, can rub back and forth, go a little up and down, and you'll just have to see how it feels. There is, like, no set rhyme or reason where you have to be on top, but just climb on top. And I think I've asked a few of my guy friends, and I hope they're honest to me, and I hope you are too. But, like, have you ever been having sex with a woman and all of a sudden you like, she climbed on top, and you were like, ew, gross out. I don't want you to be with.

You where she climbed on top.

Well, like, where she was on top of you in the woman on top position. Because I think women are afraid that like, oh, he's gonna see all these things. Or.

Yeah, there's, like, some of them that refuse to go on top.

Right. A lot of women do. And that's how a lot of women can actually have successful orgasms, is by being on top. Yeah, many. The majority of women can climax that way, but they're insecure about it. And so guys, that you can reach your hands up, grab her breasts, all that stuff. Angie. I wouldn't trip on it, but I would. I. She's also worried that guys are going to think that she's not. I bet you the guys you're with are worried that they're not experienced either. So everybody seems to get out of their goddamn heads when they're having sex and focus on the person that you're with, because even there's no way you're going to be cut. You get a card and like, oh, I'm great at sex. Like, I've got this professional level because everyone is different. And so you're young. I'm glad that you're asking these questions, but just, like, take it in the moment. See what you do. See what this dude wants. See what you want. And know your own body first, Angie. And then when you get on top, you'll know how to move your body to make it feel so good.

Yeah, so.

What? What?

No, I was just thinking of, like, there was any, like, horror stories of women.

Do you have horse. See, I don't know. Like, because this would have been so worried that he's gonna see me on top and my boobs jiggling or, like, my stomach. I gained two pounds and he's gonna break up with me. And so, you know, just. Just. And also. Yeah, good. I'm glad you don't have horror stories.

Fine. It's like, women like, God, yes, yes, yes.

Dirty talk.

Chill the F out. Like, if a guy is having sex with you, he's not gonna be, like, tripping off your body.

This is the thing. He's already with you naked. He already made the decision to get naked with you to be in bed. He's not. He's thinking about his penis. And, like, is it saying heart? Like, if anything. And he's into you. He's looking at this beautiful creature that he's having sex with. They're not judging you at that moment. They're not judging you at all that.

He'S having sex with you.

Right. And he's there with you. And turn the light. Have candles or something. Like, I hate when people turn the women turn the lights off the whole thing, don't you think? Don't you want to see or know what's happening in the moment?

Yeah, I don't know. I don't care either way.

I'm a guy.

You don't think about that.

I know.

Crap.

You can also say, I love the way your kisses taste. I wrote two.

I want to kiss every inch of your body tonight.

Wow.

I'm just giving some people some dirty talk. I'm totally flaccid, dude. I didn't think it would work for you. Do it to me the way you want to. You're the best I've ever had. So fly, dude. Okay, that's all. That's all we have time for today actually. Oh man, we gotta go.

We're gonna do another podcast.

Yeah, we are. Oh yeah, totally.

We're like have so much stuff to talk to you about.

Yeah, we're doing more. It's coming up.

Sex toys gone bad. I gotta tell you a story.

Oh, okay. Well, we'll do it. Okay, everyone, listen. Find menace. Where should they find you? All your places.

Yeah, menace on Instagram. M E N A C E. A lot of people spell it wrong.

I know, weird. They like M E N N I s now. It's like a menace to society.

Yes.

And I am at Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, all that sex with Emily. Follow me. I answer your questions in all those places and I love you all. Thanks so much for listening. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to the show today. And as you know, we talked about some of the mistakes men make in bed. And that's not enough. Caring enough about their partner's orgasm. And if you want to last longer in bed, you got to try permeescent because one in three men suffers from premature ejaculation. And even that you just don't last as long as you want to. And this doubles the time at least that you'll last in bed. You don't even have to think about baseball or something else to distract yourself from your partner's body. You can actually focus on sex. Or when do you use promescent, which is a quickly absorbing delay spray. And it allows you to have the sex you want. So promescent lasts twice as long. It's the only FDA approved treatment for premature ejaculation or lasting longer in bed. Go to Promescent.com to find out more. That's P R O M E S e N T.

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