Best Of: Ejaculation Etiquette

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Hi, how you doing?

Good.

What's going on?

A lot. There's a lot going on today.

Wow, I like that.

It's a really big day. Good. Some of those topics include The perks of having a wingwoman, erogenous zones, the G-spot shot, ejaculation etiquette suggestions, breast play, and how to make sex more than mediocre. Find out also our sex tips today. We'll find out why size does and does not matter, because today we'll be— we will be debunking sex myths. I'm going to be giving Manus a quiz later to see.

A quiz? I like that.

Do you like a quiz? Yeah. True or false?

No, true.

I'm gonna give you true or false.

I always want to win.

True, right? I'm giving you a sex quiz later. Yeah, you're going to be quizzing all the common Sexmas.

To who? Like, who's saying—

I'm not giving you a preview. Why are you getting nervous?

No, I'm not getting nervous, but I always think you could— I always want to check your sources.

These are reputable sources. You know that I've always got my sources down.

I know. So yeah, but I'm just saying, if you're getting it from a woman, then it's probably not right.

Oh yeah, because women aren't right. Then women are just not right.

I love giving you a hard time.

I know you do. I don't get mad, I just roll my eyes. Um, so okay, so it's a really big day in San Francisco today.

It's Tupac's birthday. Did you know that?

No, I did not know that.

He would have been 40 today.

Really?

Yeah.

Oh.

That's why it's a big day?

No.

Oh, okay.

It's a big day because there was a study that came out sponsored by Trojan, who knows their sex.

Okay.

San Fran— okay, this was on MSNBC.com. San Francisco, you're so naughty and so open about it. San Francisco was named the most sexually promiscuous city in in America, number one. I feel so— I feel so proud. And I like to feel that we're based in San Francisco, that maybe I've had something to do with it.

Did they?

Not personally.

Oh my God, no.

But we're so naughty. It says that— I mean, it's crazy, these stats. And it says Chicago is at the bottom of the list. Okay, so San Francisco—

I'm canceling my trip.

I know, honey.

In August, it's done.

So it says that, but we don't— okay, according to the report, 90% of San Francisco's San Francisco's boasts they know how to satisfy their partner sexually. And, um, here are a few more sexy stats from San Francisco. Respondents in San Francisco, 48% reported that they like, that they use a vibrator. So half, almost half the people and women in San Francisco or men are using vibrators.

Half the people, I mean half the women in San Francisco are not satisfied sexually by a man.

Yeah.

Oh, they need a utensil.

No, that's not why people use vibrators. It's an addition. Are you really gonna have this conversation with me?

I'm just saying.

Okay, so this is, this is, this is something that's— I don't know. San Francisco tops the list for the most number of sexual partners. We've all— we've had sex with more people in San Francisco. Oral sex at 18 partners and anal sex at 12 partners.

Whores.

Yep. San Francisco, 24%, is the least likely to believe in abstinence before marriage. And San Francisco is one of two cities most likely to say they learned about sex from an adult video and the internet. Anyway, I did.

That's how I learned about sex. What was the porno?

Really?

When I said I was 6 years old.

Yeah. Oh, that's right.

You saw the porno and you were like, I already knew what was going on, which was weird to me.

Yeah, that is weird. Are you sure you knew? Yeah, I knew. You knew that it was what? That what did you think was happening?

Um, I think that they were— I don't know how it triggered in my brain, but I knew they were having sex, right? I don't know. I can't explain it, right? But I knew.

When did you start masturbating?

Uh, yesterday? I don't know. Uh, teens.

Okay.

Normal age?

Normal age? Teens? Okay, just curious. 'Cause I didn't until later, as you know. So, okay, so that's a big thing about San Francisco. I was just excited. I just found this like 5 minutes ago, and it says, "You're so naughty and open." I just love that. I love San Francisco because we just don't care. In the city where running naked down the street has become rather ho-hum, it's no surprise that we're the number one promiscuous city.

It always trips me out.

There's always naked people. Like, you're like, "Whatever, naked person. Don't care. Don't care." Like, there's just random stuff happening all the time. It always trips me out that I—

there'll be some events and there's always like naked people right in front of City Hall. Right in front of City Hall. I know, just butt naked.

I know, they're not supposed to.

They shouldn't.

But we also are doing messed up stuff legislative, like in the legislation. Like we're supposed to— like we banned Happy Meals last year. And I know there's other things that we do. We're just in a quirky, crazy city.

This is—

but it makes you feel like proud. Like I feel like I've become— like I'm a San Francisco— I mean, I'm not from here initially, as you know, but I feel like a San Franciscan. Like kind of— this is what's promiscuous and crazy. What?

There's a lot of, lot of, lot of weirdos, right?

Right.

And these weirdos have so much freaking free time versus the people that are just actually just working all the time, just, you know, trying to get by, right? That all the weirdos are at City Hall constantly, like, getting these crazy laws passed.

I know, I know.

Yeah, so the people are actually like—

it affects I made a film about that. I made a film about politics in San Francisco. If anyone's interested, it's called See How They Run, and you can rent it on Netflix or download it on iTunes. And it's a documentary all about San Francisco politics and how insanely insane we are, and liberal, and a little bit crazy.

This is nuts.

But what was the legislation just last week? There was something that we were going to ban, and it was like—

it was, uh, circumcision.

Circumcision?

Yeah.

And then there was something else. There was something else like a day later, circumcision. You can't ban circumcision.

Plastic bags.

Plastic bags. That's weird. Like, do you, can you imagine if you're watching this and you're like, we don't have plastic bags. Like, you cannot get a plastic bag in San Francisco. Yeah. It's weird.

You can't.

I know.

And then if it's raining and you're walking, you're effed. Right. I'm sorry.

'Cause there's no plastic bags.

They rip all the time. Okay.

We have— Oh, the paper bags? Every time I'm coming home from the, 'cause you know, I eat out all the time.

Yeah.

Oh, speaking of that yesterday. So you really, the show yesterday, you really got me thinking when you said to me, what do I bring to the table? In a relationship?

Yeah.

So I was like—

Don't worry, let's rewind and explain.

Let's rewind. Okay, so you know, does everyone know we're doing a Daily Show? Does everyone get that? Okay, so yesterday Menace asked me, since I don't cook and I've never cooked for a man in my entire life, he asked what I bring to the table besides sex in a relationship.

And your answer was, I'm fun.

Yeah, I'm fun. So I asked the guy that I dated. So you did some studying? I did.

Yeah?

I talked to guys that I've dated. I like made some phone calls. I'm like, why'd you date me? Like, I never cooked for you. I never planned for you.

Did you like trip out by saying that?

No, I just thought it was funny. And so, no, I didn't trip out, but I was like, no, what happened was because I'm supposed to go out with this guy. So you remember the guy that I was dating a few months ago who was like, you never called me and you never made plans. So then this guy that I have been dating was like, oh, well, what do you want to do Saturday night? And I was like, so we were on the phone last night and I said, because we have plans. And I said, am I really? I said, I don't, I don't really care. I don't really know.

Like, See what he messed up. I don't even know why he said that to you.

So I said, so I said, what do I bring to the table? So that's when I brought it. I'm like, oh no, do I bring anything to the table besides, um, besides sex? And he's like, yes, you have. He answered me and I wrote it down because I had to write it down to remember it. He said I have exuberant energy, explosive exuberant energy. That's what I bring.

So does people that do cocaine. Like, I—

but I don't do cocaine. I'm naturally exuberant. That's what you— that's what I bring to the table. No, I don't cook or clean or anything like that, but you just hire someone to clean eventually.

Energy. What does the energy do? I'm trying to explain.

Don't you know? But why you like me? Like, why do you like me? Why do you like hanging out with me? Because I'm fun. I'm fun energy. That was an extension on the fun thing.

That was fun.

Okay, here's another story. So what, what was fun? Nothing.

I just didn't realize.

Why do people date you?

It's like general because I'm awesome.

Uh-huh. Okay, so, um, here's the thing. So Ruby, I can't even say again, I'm telling the story, I forgot it.

Skip.

Anyways, today's sex toy.

Yeah, last night I went to, um, idiot. See, I told you. Yeah, live shows. Um, I, uh, went and saw the Green Hornet last night. And did you go online?

Oh, oh, right, it was a press screening, right?

Yeah, I went and saw it and I really enjoyed it, so if people want to go— I'm not like a Green Hornet fanatic, a purist, I knew nothing about it.

I don't know anything about it either, of course.

So I enjoyed it. It's, you know, a comic book movie, you can't take it too seriously. It was good. So if you are doing something this weekend and you want to go see The Green Hornet, I suggest go see it.

Really? Who's in it? It's, um— Ryan Reynolds and And Blake Lively, right?

Yeah, and she looks smoking hot in it. Ryan Reynolds, as a man, I can say this guy is so fit that it makes you feel bad about yourself.

Oh, really? Yeah, seriously.

Like, so girls, you would love seeing this guy because he has a shirt off.

Oh, see, I heard a review this morning and someone was reviewing it and they were saying that it wasn't good and that he wasn't very good in it as a lead, as a main character.

You can't listen to like, 'cause I sit with these critic a-holes all the time, and they try to go in there and—

Why didn't you take me to this? I thought you were gonna take me to movie screenings that you get all these tickets.

See, I'm trying to get to my point, but you're interrupting me. Hold on. So, uh, but you can't take the critics people seriously because they think they're gonna go in there and see the next Citizen Kane or something like that, you know? Or the next Clockwork Orange.

Right, so you have to know that it's like—

Yeah, just go with what type of movie that you like and don't listen to critics.

Okay.

But anyways, I did not invite you because I've been trying to get, you know, more engaged and more interactive with people on my Facebook. So I've been throwing like basic questions out there, right? So the other basic question was Star Wars or Star Trek, right? And everyone was getting into it. And then here comes Emily Morse on my Facebook and says, eh, neither. What?

Neither. I don't want to see either one of those, Star Trek or Star Wars.

So why would you be mad if I didn't take you to the Green Lantern? Because I just want to go to movies. No, because your ass would be talking through the whole goddamn movie.

I wouldn't talk again.

Yes, you would.

I'd be so scared to go to a movie with you again that I would seriously, I'd be so quiet. I can't guarantee that I would sit still, but I wouldn't talk the whole time.

I seriously wanted to murder some lady that was making noise like across the room. Really?

Yeah.

Like violently.

Well, okay, so you know that I won't ever talk again in a movie. Yeah, but how, okay.

Let me guess, you've never seen Star Wars.

No, I've seen Star Wars. I love Star Wars. I just was like, who? Neither one at that moment. Because when I read your Facebook post, I was like, ew, neither, not right now.

You see how many people commented? I know a lot of people. And then they started talking crap about you because you're like, oh my God, come on.

I was like, neither. Done. That's not what I want. Like, if I was sitting at your house and you're like, let's watch a movie, and you're like, would you rather watch Star Trek or Star Wars? I'd be like, neither. But I know that wasn't the point. The point was if I had to choose. Would choose neither.

That hurts, man.

I'm sorry, baby.

I mean, I'm not like a super hardcore— Why'd you ask?

Why'd you want to know?

Because I knew that would cause a debate, and I just wanted to see what people thought. And I would see—

I was social media savvy.

Yeah, and I want to know—

savvy.

And I wanted to see if the Star Trek nerds would come and defend Star Wars, because obviously Star Wars is the more popular choice, right? And Check this out. So again, leading back to sex, you know how many like hot chicks that are into Star Wars that just like dress up in like Star Wars outfits, like practically naked all the time on the internet? You can find it everywhere.

No, I didn't know that. Yeah, like people who have like fetishes around— not fetishes, or they're just turned on by really into it.

And then, but they dress like super sexy, but they're like, you know, Darth Vader and stuff like that.

I didn't know. I didn't know that.

Yeah, it's pretty amazing. And there's like, so is that where you go for your entertainment? To go check out naked chicks in Darth Vader outfits.

Yeah, no, Darth Vader.

But I'm just saying, I, I recognize Darth Ate Her or something.

Is that what it's called? Probably.

But there's like a lot of, a lot of, uh, hot chicks are just becoming super like comic book nerds and stuff like that.

That's great. Do you like that? You consider yourself a nerd, right? Do you or no?

Uh, yeah, I guess, but I'm not like hardcore into comic books.

No, me neither, obviously. But I would have gone to the movie I— what did I do? I, um, nothing. I worked. You didn't do anything? You're lying. No, I'm trying to think. I'm trying to think of what did I do last night.

So, you know, you called up every ex-boyfriend and say, what did I do last night?

Oh, I called every ex-boyfriend.

Oh, did you get any other feedback?

Yeah, I did. Well, because my ex texted me like, why do we— he's going through a problem with his girlfriend now, so he texted me and he was like, why aren't we— why did we break up again?

And oh my God, dude, this guy. It's either two things.

You All right, number one, this is what he said. This is— I'm reading you his text.

So goddamn ridiculous. Like, either you marry this guy or stop talking to him because it's not healthy.

Do you want to hear what he said? He just out of the blue, when I needed a little ego boost last night because I was already feeling lame because you told me that I'm not worth dating, um, he said we're dating, but I'm just saying you need to like pick up some skills. He said, I miss you for lots of reasons, including but not limited to: one, how chill you are. 2, how fun you are. 3, how easy it is to be with you. And 4, your infinite hotness. He said, what happened? Why aren't we together anymore?

I need to get laid. At what time?

And then we kind of had phone sex, but I didn't really have phone sex. He had phone— I had phone— he had phone sex. It was late. I was— it was in New York. I don't know, he was in New York. It's late anyway. I don't know. I was—

oh my God, it's so like— I had a couple—

I was like working. Exactly. It's like, Emily, I miss you, and blah blah blah. Oh God, yeah, so lame. And then he's like, remember that time? And he wanted phone sex, but I didn't really like— I was, I was bit— I was focused on work anyway.

So lame.

Lame. Okay, let's get into something.

So what are you gonna do about that? I'm telling you right now, it's either it's not healthy or you never talk to him.

I never talk— I mean, dude, we like text. This is— don't you have girls that you hung up on?

But do you know what, when you talk—

honey, I'm so not hung up on him. I do not. Oh my God, ew. Like, if I could tell you the million reasons why we're not supposed to be together, we're not supposed to be together. I just adore him.

It's not funny to the guy.

It's funny, it's funny.

It's funny.

'Cause I like that he says nice things about me.

What about eventually—

My ego really likes that.

What about eventually you find a guy that's not into chicks that cook or clean and he wants to be with you, right?

Right. And then you have this guy who's gonna hit you up and that's gonna cause— Then I'll be done. No, then I'll be done with him. I just haven't found anybody that— I just haven't committed to anybody in a long time so I still have the people hanging around. That I text? Big deal, who doesn't? Everyone does that.

I'm just saying it's not normal.

How many girls are you texting that you sleep with?

Don't look at my phone.

You don't text any girls randomly?

No, it's stupid.

Really?

Yeah.

I like it. My friends and I like it. We like to get the text. Women, we like to get that something. Like a little— it made me feel good. I was like, oh good, he likes me still, that's good.

Alright.

I think we should move on.

Go for it.

Sex in the news. Well, we already talked about the biggest news. San Francisco, you're so naughty.

Yeah. And then the other news, can I just clear it up? Oh yes, Weiner's resigned.

Weiner resigned?

Yes.

Weiner resigned. He did. I can't believe it.

It's so funny because my cousin is a reporter in Arizona and she's like, I'm, I'm so happy that he resigned. So now I don't have to talk about him ever again. And I'm a reporter.

Right, exactly, exactly. I know, I know. It got to be, it got to be too much. But, um, but I can't— but yeah, he, he had to, he resigned. But that's not what I was going to talk about. All right. Had other Wiener news. Okay, the adult-only Anthony Wiener action figure.

Oh God.

Yep, he may be in rehabilitation at the moment, but that doesn't mean he's hidden from our hearts and our minds and RSS feeds. The presence feels stronger now than ever thanks to the new adult-only Anthony Wiener action figure. The doll, much like the man himself, can come two ways: censored or uncensored. Yet it's not quite clear from the manufacturer's site how the for-adults-only version differs from the standard one. It's $10 if you want an Anthony Weiner action figure. I want an action figure.

Speaking about Weiner, his wife is way too hot for him.

I told you how hot she was. I told you last week and you're like, no. Someone said no. Not me. She's hot. She's beautiful. She's classic. She's stunning. Yeah, she's like— but I don't think she's gonna leave him. They just got married a year ago. Uh, I, I heard that she wasn't gonna leave him.

Not for now, at least. Well, I don't know. I mean, now what the hell is he gonna do now? Everyone knows what he looks like. What do you do? Hopefully he has money in the bank.

I don't know. Some— you know what, look at Spitzer though. Eliot Spitzer, when he had his whole sex scandal when he was governor— well, no, he wasn't governor, he was senator. What was he? Spitzer? Eliot Spitzer in New York? Whatever he was, senator. So he is now hosting a show on CNN, and he had a sex scandal with prostitutes.

Yeah, but he had like, at least had some like charisma and stuff like that?

Not really. Eliot Spitzer, like, I turn on CNN, I'm like, really? Eliot Spitzer? Like, he has a sex scandal, he's sleeping with prostitutes and paying them out of state money, and now they— CNN makes him a reporter? I don't understand that. Because there's a million people that could talk about politics, and he's not attractive, and all you think of him is with the prostitute in a hotel room.

Yeah, but that's what— that makes you tune in. Do you know CNN?

No, I tune off. Well, okay, go ahead. What?

CNN's losing so bad in ratings versus Fox News, so they're just like That's the only channel they have at my gym, that and the Food Channel.

Guess what I watch?

Food?

No, I don't give a crap about the Food Channel. The Food Channel is so boring if you don't cook and you don't have any utensils or anything.

It's like pornography for me.

Is it? The Food Channel? Yeah. Do you really watch the Food Channel? I mean, my notebook will do. I'm just like at another planet.

I want to do my own video podcast about doing little cooking shows.

Come on. I love it.

Yeah.

You cook?

Yeah.

For real?

For real.

How come I don't believe you?

W-How can you not believe me?

When do you— when do you have time to cook?

I'm not the only planet— person on the planet that cooks. A lot of people cook.

I know, but I just don't imagine you cooking. Okay. What's the secret of hot sex? Science weighs in. A new study suggests that the key to hot sex is—

tequila!

Is plain old empathy.

Empathy?

Empathy.

How's that work?

Empathic. People being empathic. Empathic individuals are more responsive to a partner's needs and thus initiate a positive positive, positive feedback cycle. So researchers from the university, they studied the psychological profiles of over 3,200 men and women. They looked at self-esteem, autonomy, and empathy, and 3 sexual measures. This is a little confusing here: orgasmic regularity, enjoyment of receiving and giving oral sex. So that's what the study looked at, and they found that the people with empathy, who were more empathic towards each other, were having better sex. Oral sex. But the thing that was most interesting about the study was the authors were surprised to find men were more likely than women to enjoy performing oral sex, and I do not find that to be the case.

Where was the study held?

It was a, it was a big study. I don't know. It was at, um, from a university.

Some university.

Health Day. Yeah. University of Phoenix, Arizona.

No, it's real, it's real.

I'm not like reading BS. So anyway, empathic, so it got me thinking about guys that I date. That usually are— I think that that's big. Some— a guy who's empathy, who can, who can relate to you and respond to you and be there for you emotionally.

Yeah, but they're just doing that because they want to get laid.

That's fine though, but I'm more sexually— they're showing the people who have high empathic barriers are having better sex.

It doesn't matter if it's genuine or not.

I don't care. Yeah, exactly. So I thought that was interesting. And again, that the authors were surprised to find that men were more likely than women to enjoy performing oral sex. I feel like, who are all these women who hate giving— performing oral sex.

They're out there.

It's so fun. So many women hate it.

I— yeah, I don't get it.

But I feel like men don't like it more than women. That would be my— yeah, I'm surprised too. Just like—

no, I think it's equal. It's equal playing field, honestly.

I don't know. I think I taught you what it was. Remember on the show, like, years ago? I taught you how to say it.

Cunnilingus.

Cunnilingus. Oh God, when Manus was just a young boy.

Yeah.

Dating on the go. There's a new How About We, How About We's mobile app, it's called. So it's a new app that allows you to find a date quickly without having to sit at your computer. You can post and browse cool dates in your area. So basically the scenario is that you're having a drink at your favorite bar and suddenly find yourself wishing there was someone in that empty bar stool next to yours. Take out your phone and check out other people who've posted dates in your area, find someone like you, you can message them and then you can go find them if they're nearby. Like not so different than those other apps, but Grindr. Grindr. But this is like a date, like they're like, they're coming up with dates in the moment that are happening, and you could join someone, like if you're at your— alone drinking tequila by yourself at the bar.

That, I mean, I guess that can work. I don't know, that's— that one is all on the women if they want to meet up with guys.

No, I think it'll be guys doing it too.

I mean, it's kind of like an immediate No, do you think women are gonna really post like, hey, I'm just hanging out?

I don't know, maybe.

I bet you if I download it right now, it'll be 3,000 guys.

Maybe I'll be the one woman.

Let's see, I'll download it right now. What's it called again? It's called—

how about we— how about we go to the store like that? All right, okay, so future hotel room to facilitate virtual— okay. I had some tequila. I have to admit. No, just kidding. Okay. Feature hotel room to facilitate virtual sex as Travelodge. So, you know, we've been talking a lot about like the virtual— what about you wanted people to be able to have sex during the show?

Yeah. Like a USB plug-in. And then there's some device that has sex with you while you're listening to Sex with Emily.

Right. That's what we're going to do.

But you don't have to use your own hand.

Exactly.

So lazy people out there.

They say the Travelodge has unveiled what the hotel room of the future will look like, and it involves virtual lovemaking. Apparently remote virtual lovemaking will be possible by the year 2030, allowing individuals to connect with their partner.

2030?

Uh-huh.

Of course.

To connect with their partner. But it doesn't even sound— couples will be able to benefit from the ability to link peripheral nervous systems via active skin electronics together for enhanced lovemaking. So it's like connecting your nervous systems through the— through the— I don't even know how they were going to do that. I don't know. It doesn't sound very hot. I'd rather just watch porn. I heard today they have someone else They have sex robots in Japan now. That sounds cold.

Cold?

Just kind of cold.

I'm sure there's—

How empathic is a robot? Not very empathic, I'll bet.

Probably no. No, no, no, they were saying, I'm remembering now, that the robot will recognize its owner and be able to have a conversation with the owner.

Really? Will it tell me that I look nice today?

Yeah.

You look nice today. Nice ass.

You program it.

Really?

Yeah.

I don't think it's come to that yet, but it's nice to know that there are options.

And you know what? You probably don't have to make it dinner either.

Perfect.

It would be the perfect—

You gotta charge it. Um, so today, just backing up, was sex toy day at, um, Sex with Emily. You know, my interns have had a very active week. We, um, first went to the canceled oral sex class.

Yeah.

And then, um, but then they were entertained by my sex school friends. I told that whole story the other day. Um, but then we got sex toys from Adam and Eve because Adam and Eve is our sponsor, and we love Adam and Eve. Everyone go to adamandeve.com. Anyway, they provided us with a bunch of sex toys today, so I was so excited because I came in late to the office because I had a meeting this morning. And I walked in and there was a box, and I was like, oh, what's that? And I was like, oh my God, it's our sex toys! So we opened the box, and we— everyone gets sex toys because the interns got to pick out which toys they— why are you looking your brows off?

I'm just like, I'm trying to like visualize what's going on, right?

So it's in my office, and we rip open the box sex because I had them all pick out which sex toys they want to review because we're gonna— we're starting a new intern sex toy review segment on the show. Okay, so they— so we got all these sex toys and I'm so excited. We got rabbits. They all picked out what they wanted. I had nothing to do. They could pick out whatever they wanted. So am I corrupting them or not? What do you think? I think it's a good thing just because I took them to an oral sex class and make them try out sex toys, and then we're gonna do porn reviews. But I think it's part of the whole sex with Emily experience.

Oh my God, I don't know how I feel about this, but I mean, if they're into it, then fine.

They're totally into it. We're so excited.

So what kind of toys?

Aren't we excited?

What kind of toys did they pick?

You don't have to— They picked, um, rabbit. There's rabbits.

Uh-huh.

Someone picked a rabbit, like a, like a supercharged rabbit.

All right.

And, um, and then a butterfly something. I don't know what that is. We're gonna learn what it is. What if they're like volunteering and like Kelsey's like, I'll do it this weekend. Like she's ready. Like they're psyched. They're gonna go home and do it. And then there is, um, I don't know, they sent us pocket rockets, they sent me this little nubby finger thing. It's a vibrator that just goes on your finger and it's— Yeah. It's nubby, it's cool. I think I've seen that. Yeah.

I think you had that before.

I have had that. It's a new one though. They're all souped up. They sent us all their new toys. I'm just like, I can't tell you how exciting that is. Like, I wanted to write a song about it.

Okay. Yeah. Well, I'm eager to see the reviews.

I love getting new sex toys. It's like, I don't know. I mean, I guess it's like how other people feel about food or something.

How many sex toys do you think you have? Do you have?

Opened or unopened?

I mean, just together, collectively, not just the—

how many sex toys do I have? Not the ones in my trunk. I moved them out of my trunk because I got a new car.

Yeah, um, and I'm sure you waited to the last moment.

I think it's more interesting to ask me how many I've tried, how many I have open, and how many I've unopened. But I have to do the math separately. I probably have about 30 vibrators that I've tried, or like that are opened. Yeah, maybe I tried them once.

40?

30? I'm running out of room, let's just say that. They're in boxes like under my bed. But then there's like my go-to vibrators, so I don't really— like, I'll use a vibrator and then I'll— I should do the vibrator reviews for Christ's sake.

But what's the most awkward vibrator you think you've gotten?

The most awkward?

Yeah, the most like Because some of them are shaped weird.

Oh, I've— I got some that were like really— some that were like really, really, really big. Like, yeah, too big to—

like horse size?

Yeah, like, not even in a dream do I want this. Like, too big. Okay, but I don't know if I got anything really awkward. I mean, there's fun stuff like the vibrating panties. You weren't here on my birthday show when I showed the vibrating panties, right? Were you here?

No.

Like, I love my vibrating panties. Like, I need to find another guy to do that with because I did it with I know I'm sure some guys are psyched to use it again, so I won't tell them that I've used it before. But anyway, the vibrating panties, you remember this from last year, but they're so cool. They sell these at Adam and Eve too, and they have a little vibrator in the crotch, which is, I hate that word, but it's in the crotch and you put it in there and then your partner holds the remote control and then remote can like turn you on if you're at a party or something. So that's kind of fun. But it's not crazy.

That's the movie that we went to go see, it was in that movie, they did the same thing. Oh, that's right. That you talked through the whole time.

That was not the movie I talked through the whole time.

I swear to God, that's the movie.

No, you're confusing things.

I have a better memory than you do. You have the worst memory ever.

Because I, um, I don't know why I have a bad memory. I have a lot of things on my mind. It's mostly just obsessive thoughts and they kick out all the other stuff that's not that important.

They kick out a lot of emails too, believe me.

Kick out a lot of things. I think, um, okay, so what have I already done? Where are we? Emails.

Yes, emails.

Let's do emails.

And are people including where they're from in the emails?

Yes, everyone include where you're from. Some people do, some people don't, but we want you to— we want to know where you're from.

If you don't want to, you know, say your name, just change your name.

A lot of people change their name.

Change your name and then tell me where you're from.

Yeah, and you— I don't use your name unless you put your name, and I will— I've even changed names for people sometimes because I'm like, they didn't tell me to change their name, but I'm going to change their name because I make that decision for them. All right, so, dear Emily, I'm finally Friends with Benefits member. Thank you very much. Here's a different take on the wing man concept, because we did a show about wingwomen and wingmen the other day. I dropped into a local club and sat at the bar. I struck up a conversation with the woman sitting next to me. She was very funny and we talked and laughed a lot for about 45 minutes. Turns out she was with her boyfriend, but she barely talked to him all night. They left. No, it gets better. Listen, they left. We said goodbye. After we talked, I moved to the other end of the club. On my way back to the bar, 3 women stopped me and offered me their phone number. This has never happened to me before, ever. Turns out that these women were all responding to seeing me laughing and obviously having such a good time with the woman I'd been talking to. So maybe having a wing woman who you can laugh with would be a good variation on the wingman idea. Paul. So he was seen talking to a woman, probably attractive woman that he found attractive, and these other women responded and they were like, oh my God, he seems so fun. Life of the party, blah, blah, blah. And handed him the phone number.

Yeah.

That's from Paul.

Yeah, I hate that.

What do you hate? The part that she was married and he was talking to her?

That she spent most of her night talking to him when she already had a boyfriend.

She's with her husband. She was bored. They have nothing else to talk about. Yeah, that's happening. You get married, right?

No. Um, no. Yeah, I just— I'll get married to that kind of stuff. What? I hate that.

What?

Stay home if you're gonna—

you know, I know, but I think couples— I know they talk for 45 minutes. A lot of people— that would just be such a bummer to be married to someone and be out and not wanting to talk to them. Like, you hope that you always want to talk to each other and you always want to have sex with each other too, on another note. Okay, hi Emily, I just became a Friends with Benefits member. Yay, thank you! Great name, by the way. And I noticed that when I signed up for the podcast that the application form online has shipping info. Is this a sign that you will be selling merchandise off this website? If so, I would love to order a t-shirt that says, "I just had sex with Emily and all I got was this t-shirt," which is what I recommended last week. I'm pretty sure you joked about that on a previous episode, but I think it's an excellent idea. Thanks for everything. Your show is fantastic. Tyler from Calgary, Canada. Yes, I will be selling products on this— on the website. The website's exploding. I will be selling my book. I'll be selling products. I'll also be selling t-shirts. I think we should make those t-shirts. And pocket vaginas.

And pocket vaginas. No.

That's just for you.

Emily's vagina.

Should we have included you in the adamandeve.com order? We should have gotten you a sex toy.

What would I get? I wouldn't get anything.

No, you might have found some. Would you have wanted some porn? Because they sell porn too.

I don't want— I don't want— Oh, I wanted it.

I feel like left out, like you were left out of the whole excitement today, that you need something.

I would have not been into that at all.

I think it would be good. I know, but I think it'd be good for you. I just want you to.

No, don't. You're like a drug dealer. You're trying to push sex. You're trying to push sex toys on me, and it's just—

For years I've been pushing sex toys on you.

I want to, you know, I want to be like the caveman. And not have any tools at all.

Have you ever been with a woman who uses sex toys?

That uses sex toys?

Have you been with the woman?

She used it like while we were together?

No, no. It's an interesting experience. You might like it.

No, I just, you know, I want to go back to the olden times, right, where we put in all my effort to—

70% of women can't have orgasms without direct clitoral stimulation and they need a vibrator. Yeah.

Yeah, that's cool. But you know what, I'm gonna—

those times were dark. Those were dark, dark times.

Everything I can to satisfy my lady, and I don't see why there's anything wrong with that. But you know what, if you feel there's a problem with that, then you let everybody know.

Yeah, I think there's a problem with that because you're probably not doing a great job. So I ran across your show while searching for more ideas of what to do with my wife. I really enjoy them while driving across the country, and you really enjoy your shows while driving across the country. I'm a truck driver. "You mention erogenous zones a lot, but men are lost when it comes to where women like to be touched, kissed—" Oh, this is the one yesterday that we didn't get to. "Touched, kissed, licked, nibbled. We also don't want to ask because it would mean admitting we don't know. So here is my contribution to your show. Men, there are 38 documented zones you can go to in order to please your woman. Learn them and use them. Not all of them work on every woman, but you should at least be aware of them. John from Texas." Thanks, John. Thanks, John from Texas.

Does it say tickle them in the, in the neck with $100 bills?

What planet are you on? Um, inner thighs, behind the knees, the lips, nape of the neck, ears, buttocks, wrists. These are all places that women are super sensitive and that are erogenous zones besides their boobs.

And wait, in their vagina? And their vaginas. Besides their boobs?

I don't love saying the word vagina. In there, like, I know I have a sex show, but I just don't love saying the word vagina. All your penis— I have no problem with vagina. It's like, it's kind of a buzzkill.

And then all your cool hip friends say vulva.

Remember, we're not— you're supposed to say vulva instead of vagina. That's in my sex school. I remembered stuff. You're so smart. How do you remember that?

But you gotta, you know, use the street lingo.

What do you mean? The, the common people, like, what do they say instead of vagina? Snatch or something?

They don't say snatch.

What do they say?

Which I don't like saying pussy, but they say—

they say pussy. That's what they say. That's hotter. I mean, that's hotter. I mean, but I'm not gonna say pussy. I think it's hot during sex. Dirty sex stuff. Is it?

You like my pussy?

Yeah, I like it. What? That's hot.

That is so embarrassing to even say. Like, what? You think—

you think pussy— say it again.

Pussy? I'm like turning red just saying it.

I know!

This is so embarrassing. Should we turn the camera on us?

What do you think? You've never said like, like to a woman, you've never—

Oh, do you like that in your pussy? Yeah! That is so— No! That's what people say! That is not hot.

That is— It is! It can be, it can be hot. Au contraire.

Do you like my— Je parle français. Do you like my wiener in your pussy?

Yeah. Are your pussies hot? Your pussy's so hot.

Your pussy is so hot.

Yeah, or like, your pussy— like, I'm just like, I can't think. Like, in the moment, you know, when men say it, it's sometimes super hot. Yeah, just telling you. I— you've never said that word until now? You're like literally turning red.

I'm just saying, it's just embarrassing to say.

Okay, so what other word are we gonna say? Like, doesn't Oprah have a word? Or what does Oprah say? Like, um, for JJ? For JJ? That— I don't— for JJ? I'm never gonna say that. No. That's bad. I need a new word for vagina. I like it, I just don't love it. I'd like to come up with another word.

There's nothing else that you use?

Nope. Vulva. Vulva doesn't roll off the tongue though.

I met this, uh, is that weird? I have a sex show and I've probably just like one of the, one of the biggest pervs I know, and he like, yeah, I bet he says pussy. What? Yeah, he does say pussies, but then he also called it the wound that never heals.

Oh, that's not— that's so— that's not even like— I don't even know what to say to that.

All right, next email.

Okay, that's just— I don't know who you hang out with. I like your podcast, keep up the good work. I was wondering if you've heard of the G-spot shot or already covered it. What are your thoughts on it? Is it legit or is it just a placebo effect? You can Google the G-spot or just go here, thegshot.com. So I've heard— have you heard of this, the G-spot G-Shot. The G-Shot. So basically it's a non-surgical physician-administrative administered treatment that can temporarily augment the Grafenberg spot or the G-spot in a sexually active woman with normal sexual functioning. It has not been approved yet by like the, you know, and the whoever approves stuff and for this kind of thing by the medical associations have not really approved it yet. But there are, there were studies, like I read up on it and there are women who say that they, so basically, basically people are having these G-spot parties It's like Botox parties where women are getting their face Botox, but now they're getting their G-spots. Like, so the, the, the physician comes in with like a needle and, and he shoots you up. Uh-huh. What? Shoots them in the vagina? The vagina? That's so bad. And, um, a doctor can help increase their sensitivity during sex through a special injection on the area inside the front wall of the vagina known as— how long does it last? The method is very controversial. But he said the availability of such procedures is a boon for many women who are not getting the experience that they desire from sex. So I mean, if you're a woman who's not having— I mean, there are— there were some studies that some women that— it wasn't like on the G-Spots website, but there was like articles written about it. Women were like, oh my God, I'm finally having orgasms that way. So I don't know. I mean, I, I would be careful. It hasn't been approved yet.

Yeah, it's shooting needles in your vagina.

It sounds really bad. So sexy. And you know what, if they mess up—

and they can make an app for everything, but they can't make an app to find the G-spot? Like, what kind of—

oh, they probably could do an app like that. The G-spot locator. Yeah, like it could be like infrared light that you just see that. Yeah, you know what I mean? Kind of should. Yeah. Okay, laser guidance. Yeah, like laser guide.

Yeah, you should just, uh, See, I have so many million-dollar ideas that you just don't even just blow over them and you just blow over them.

Yeah, we don't speak the same language. Okay, dear Emily, some thoughts on the ejaculation etiquette conversation from a man's perspective. We did a show on ejaculation etiquette the other day. We're doing good shows, man, we are. Whether or not you use a condom, if the sex was great, your partner is going to be a little or hopefully very wet afterwards. Be a man, go to the bathroom and bring back a warm, moist washcloth and slowly and gently gently bathe her downstairs. Take it slow. It's a sexy way to come down from some great sex. It will feel soothing to her, and she'll think you're a sweet sex hero. You'll get lots of extra points if you're the first man who's ever done this for her. Men should think about buying some good quality, super soft cotton washcloths just for the benefit of their partner's nether regions. That's from Paul. I— that is a nice move. Yeah, seriously, guys, I've had guys do that. Like, they— yeah, of course they They should do that. That's nice for them to clean up. Dude, the other—

the other day we had the guy with this— what was it? It was a suction— like he was using like a plunger on his woman's vagina. What was that? This— the— what was that thing? Do you remember? Remember? It was like the vagina sucking thing.

What was that? I don't know. The what? Oh, the clitoral pump. The clitoral— clitoral pump that also engorges the vagina and I'm just gonna say it. Yeah, the clitoris. It engorges the clitoris with, um, blood, which is how you practice.

I really enjoyed that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So now there's a G-spot shot, whatever, and he's got an, um—

and yeah, he's enjoying that. Yeah.

I was happy to hear you and Menace discuss women's breasts on the show. If I had a special gal of my own, I think I'd kiss, lick, and suck on her breasts for hours. I'd even rest my head on them, and they don't call them pillows for nothing. "one foreplay trick I've heard of before, the guy spends ample time fondling every inch of the gal's breasts except the nipples, then when she begs for it, he'll zero in on the nipples. I look forward to more as always, xxoo Collins." More laser guidance.

What'd you say? More laser guidance into the nipples.

Laser guidance to find the nipples?

Never mind, it's over your head.

It's not over my head, you mumble.

Oh! Uh. Nipples? Nipples? What? And nipples, I don't mind saying. The women that can get orgasms by just getting their nipples touched, right?

You hate those women. Yeah, if those women are so unfair. I've actually— I have several— I have a few friends who can, and it's annoying.

Since we're talking about breasts, um, you know, I've had, uh, girlfriends that have had their breasts done. And ladies, that silicone stuff, like, it's gonna It's all myths, you know, that you're gonna get sick from it and all that kind of stuff. That's a more natural feeling, uh, when you get a boob job, is the silicone versus the saline. You think—

oh, you think the silicone versus the saline feels better?

Yeah, it does. Okay, it's more natural. Okay, don't go with the saline. I know.

How many women have you been with with fake boobs? A lot. That says a lot about you.

No, they—

no, they're so random that it wouldn't relate.

No, really, they didn't have— they didn't have them before they dated me. No.

So did you buy them for them?

I didn't buy them for them, but I know like one of the best plastic surgeons in North— in Northern California, right?

So you were like, babe, you should get those. I never said they should.

They just randomly—

several women you've dated got boob jobs while you were dating them? Two? That's a lot.

Yeah, but two's a lot. It's like they just knew that I knew this guy and they're like, I want to get it done. So I just introduced them and then—

then did you think that they should get it done?

I didn't personally care either way, but were you psyched after? I was like stoked and like started tweeting and parading around and calling out my friends that my lady got a boob job. No, right?

But were they— did they look like— did it turn you on more?

No, it was the same. Okay, I'm not the guy that like my tongue's hanging out when like hot girl walks by. Like, I really don't give a crap.

You just stare at her breasts.

I don't even stare at their breasts.

I thought you do by mistake. You can't help it.

You look at the boobs. That's not like every single day.

Oh, I thought it was every day. You work— I thought every day you were staring at boobs.

No, once in a while some girls' cleavage will be showing, and as a guy, it's like so hard not to look down once, and then your eyes lock down for 5 more seconds than you should, and then they notice. —right. And it's a terrible situation.

Got it, menace. That's embarrassing. But I think you've got that under control then. Like singing fuzzy. Yeah. I'm not sure how to approach my girlfriend about this. I love her a lot and think she's great, but I just think our sex is eh. I mean, it's sex and I always get off and so does she, but to me it just seems that this just isn't— this— that it just is what we're doing is we're just getting off. It's not fun. It's seriously the same thing every time and she doesn't really get into anything else unless she can get off by it. She's uninspired with doggy style, which I like, but she can't get off or so she says. It's probably 'cause she just bends over and doesn't really stick her butt up and out, you know what I mean? Yeah. She just doesn't want to use mirrors or cameras, not in front of a window, over a couch or a chair, just nothing fun. It's the same thing every time. The problem I have is she thinks it's just fine and more importantly can be sensitive to these types of subjects because I've had a lot more partners, so to speak. Don't tell me communicate or talk to her because I try and she gets upset and ends up thinking I want to bang someone else. Thoughts? Mike D. from Philadelphia.

Well, Mike, it sounds like your girlfriend's a lazy bitch. And you should kick her to the curb.

Just talk to her. Just kidding. No, I can't say that. Sounds like there's some anger here. He sounds angry. That's what I have to say, Mike. I think that there are some other issues going on, um, and it's not just sex. So first of all, you have to find out if you're sexually compatible with your partner. And it just sounds like you've been together, I don't know how long, but you didn't say how long, but you're not sexually compatible. Like, you might just not want— it sounds like you have a sense for to try out more things and to be more experimental. And when you try to talk to her about it, she gets upset. So I mean, if you really love this woman and you want to work on it, then I would— I think that there's just some— he just sounds really angry with her about like some other things. I think that there's other things going on in their relationship, and a lot of times that can be— and that's, that's if you are having other issues in relationship, they can come out during sex, during intercourse. It can be reflected on that. If a woman's not feeling connected, maybe she's not like— I mean, he could be doing things to her that they've lost their sense of connection somehow, and it's coming out in their sex life or not coming out in their sex life because it's dull.

Yeah, go shoot some guns. Go to the gun range.

What are you talking about? Make her hot, you know? Cook for her or something. Fix the— fix something around the house. That's what women find really hot. But what do you think about it? Like, what do you— I mean, just bad sex. Like, I don't know. I mean, part of me is like, that could be a deal breaker, honestly. I'm gonna say it here, Mike. That might be a deal breaker. Might be game over. I mean, if you— sex is important to you as it is to like me and say other people, Yeah, menace, maybe.

Throw them in the gutter and get another. That's what I say.

You do? Yeah, that's awesome. Okay, I think we're gonna get into some sex myths right now. Okay, I love myths. I'm so excited because it's like actually like one of my favorite topics because people get a lot of stuff wrong. And menace, you are in the hot seat here.

This is where you're gonna quiz me?

Don't— I'm quizzing you. Don't look at the answers. Okay, ready? Can't wait. Wait, this is gonna be fun. Okay, the truth about common sex myths. Okay, size matters. True— oh, sorry, true or false? That's false. True and false.

True and false. Trick question.

The motion in the ocean, bro. 45 out of 50 women say girth is most important. Most women prefer no more than 5 to 6 inches. 85% of women are happy with their partner's penis size. 85%. So all these guys who are so worried about their penis, did you know this is the number number one concern that men have is their penis. And 85%— are you listening to what I'm saying? 85% of women are fine with your penis. We do not care. And it's so rare that we don't like penises. I'm telling you, it doesn't come up a lot, like, that men think we care. We don't care. So should— well, only 55% of men are happy with their member size. See? Yeah, 55% of men are happy with their size, and 85% don't care. So it's true and false. Here's why girth is more important than size though. All right, do you want to know? Yes. Why are you laughing?

I am just I, I, I— go ahead.

Here's why girth is more important. The vaginal walls connect— oh, more vagina talk. The vaginal walls connect with each other and close around whatever is inserted regardless of size. It can snug— it can hold snug around a tampon or can stretch to deliver a baby. So that's why girth is more important, like, for women. Do you get that?

Okay, so should penises be eating cheeseburgers or something?

No, it's just nothing you can do. What? You could penis pump, but that's a whole nother thing. Yeah, no, you can't really. I want to see how a penis pump works. I have like 15 of them in my house. I wasn't even including those in my— yes, remember they were advertiser last summer? Oh yeah, that was awesome. I—

do you want one? A penis pump?

Yeah, I'll give it to you for your birthday or something.

It's like when you can't get hard, right?

No, well, it helps. It— here's the truth about penis pumps is that you're— there are exercises that you can do that will really help help your penis be a healthy penis, like exercises that you do for every other muscle in your body. Your penis is a muscle, and there are exercises that you can do that can help you stay harder longer and help you with other kinds of issues. So, okay, I've got more questions.

I don't want to exercise my penis because I don't want it to lose weight. You know, you need— you say it's all about the girth.

That'd be a bummer, huh? Okay, this is true or false question. Ready, Menace? Men's sex drive peaks before a woman's.

A man's sex drive peaks before a woman.

Like in life, like, do men— do men get more— straight question.

I'm just gonna say, uh, men does peak before. It's true. Yeah.

Okay, you got it right. At 18, men get a surge of the sexual hormone testosterone. Women's sexual hormone estrogen doesn't hit till their mid-20s. But peaking hormones doesn't mean peak sexual performance. That is true. 18-year-old boys are not like the best in bed. I mean, I remember like sex just was not that great when you were younger.

Like, you're just figuring out what to do.

But guys are just— I think guys— I remember like, I remember the experience having sex when, like, in college, of guys just being— I feel— I remember having this feeling with this guy I was dating, like, he just seemed so psyched to be getting laid when we were having sex, and it was like he was not even— he wasn't even like connected to me at all. I just remember feeling like he just looked really happy, like, I'm just so psyched to be getting laid right now. Like, it was so new to him, you know? Okay, see, okay, here, next true or false question. Okay, semen is nutritional.

Uh, we always— me and my friends always joke that it is, but do I know that as a fact? I believe not. It's true.

Ah, it is. Semen is full of protein.

Damn it, we would always say it was to convince— it really is.

Minerals, zinc and calcium, and some fructose sugars and other nutrients. Dude, why don't we start bottling it up? It has few calories and is perfectly safe to swallow if it has no diseased germs. Ingesting too much semen can create a pH imbalance in your stomach. We were joking about that in the office earlier. We're like, how do you inject— like, how do you have too much semen? Like, is it— like, is it that if you keep swallowing— I don't know, like, what does it mean if you store it up and you put in the refrigerator and you make semen popsicles or something in the freezer? Like, how do you ingest too much semen?

That's pretty gross. If you don't— I don't like gross. Graphic. Not too graphic, but it's, it's kind of gross. Is it about semen? It's about the subject right now. Okay, go ahead. I'll tell you some— like, there's a story about this rapper that ends up— she, she was like a female rapper, and she ends up giving fellatio to all these guys at a party, like a big party, like every single guy there. And she had to go to the hospital to get her stomach pumped because she said it was like almost a Coke handful.

Wow, really? Yeah, of semen. And that's why— wow, so it's true. So too much can create— she had a pH imbalance in her stomach.

How can you even consume that much? That is so crazy.

I know, you think that after a while you wouldn't if you're having like— if you're doing an epic amount of, um, performing an epic amount of oral sex. I wanted a record deal.

Did she get the deal?

Did she get the deal? Awesome. Okay, having said— really, here's some more true and false for you. Having sex before a big event or game can hinder your performance, true or false? Don't you always hear that guys are like, oh, I can't because I got a big game?

Uh, no, I don't think you can.

You're right, it's false. Sex may actually help physical performance by boosting testosterone, so you should actually— should have sex before the big day. A 30-minute sex session uses less than 75 calories, so you don't have to worry about being tired the next day. Does it make men less able to focus? This has not been determined yet.

Yeah, because they would always say that about baseball players, that they won't have sex before baseball games.

Right. I think it's a myth. We are debunking sex myths here. It's very important work. Someone's got to do it. Okay. You shouldn't have sex when she's on her period.

True or false? Uh, it doesn't matter.

What do you mean? You shouldn't? Yeah, like, should you— should you or should you not have sex when she's on her period?

Yes or no? I don't know what kind of question that is.

You shouldn't have sex when she's on her period. Is that true or false? You— that you should not— you should not have sex. She has her period. She's got her period. Should you have sex with her? Yes or no?

Do I want to have sex with her? No. Should I? Uh, why don't you want to have sex with her? Okay, why? I— because it's false. It's false.

Okay, ready? It's a great time to have sex. Do you know that it's actually a great time to have sex when a woman has her period? Exactly. And for you, there's a decreased risk of pregnancy. So if you worry about that, like, if you're with a partner and it's safe and you're not using condoms and because you guys have been tested, you can, you know— but you can still get pregnant. Like, there's all these myths, and we're actually getting into, um Period sex more in a minute. It can be easier for women to achieve orgasms, and big ones, because of increased sensitivity in the vaginal area. Today's just a record vagina day. I've said it way too many times. These orgasms can help relieve any cramping she experiences. So women get really bad cramps and it can help. So it's all about the woman. Take one for the team. But you're one of those guys who's like, no, I'm cool, no sex for 7 days of your period. Does it gross you out? It does. You're one of those guys. Cool. Good to know. Okay. The mechanic— Yeah, yeah.

Blood everywhere grosses me out. I'm sorry. Does it?

But what do you put a towel down? That's cool.

I'm just saying like people do it. I'm just saying like you— Okay. People can wait if they want to. You could wait. But if she really wants to do it, then fine.

The first day you're like, like the first day, I mean, it gets, you know.

Just because I find it horribly disgusting It doesn't mean—

oh gosh, Menace, do you really? You're just— I just want to like— I just want to—

because it's extremely gross. Whatever.

It's not gross, it's beautiful.

Yes, it's very beautiful. It is beautiful. It's like flowers.

So here's the mechanics of period sex. Can be challenging. So here's some tips, Menace, you might want to write down for next time. Oh, hold on, women, grab my paper. Women can use soft cups. These are shaped like a diaphragm, so it sits further up in your vagina over the cervix to allow for penetration without the mess. So you could actually have sex without the mess. Cool. Use a condom. This will prevent blood getting on your penis. Consider having sex in the tub or the shower. Place a dark towel under you. That's what you do. You just put a towel under you. Cool. Limit your positioning. It's better to stick— it's better to stick to guy on top, missionary, or doggy style. No reverse cowgirls. Yeah, why? Some men, I'm telling you, some men it's cool, like they're down with it, and some are like like, not at all. And you're one of those guys. So that's what we got for you. Sexmas. Amazing. Amazing. And tomorrow we're going to be going over your— tomorrow's show is going to be very interesting too. Tomorrow's show is your biggest curiosities about anal sex. All right. Do you have any curiosities that you, um, would like? Do you— is there anything specific you'd like us to focus on around that tomorrow?

Um, maybe, maybe you won't show up. Maybe, uh, alternative lubes would be a good thing to study.

Alternative lubes?

Yeah. Okay. Because maybe, you know, people are allergic to some lubes, correct?

Yes, we talked about that yesterday.

Alternative lubes for the anal area, or it's just the same.

Great. Anyways, okay, I'll take that. I'll take that under advisement.

Yeah. Or how to talk women into—

that's a big— but that is like one of our biggest— that's why we have to do an anal sex segment, because we've done— we've done it. Not like that we've never talked about anal sex because it's a sex show, but, um, we get a lot of emails like How do I do it? How do I get my girl to do it? So, I thought we should just ease right into it. No pun intended. Okay. Right. Thanks everyone for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me feedback@sexwithemily.com. Okay everyone, thank you for listening to the show and thank you for trying to have better sex because that will make the world a better place. And if you are suffering from, let's just call it premature ejaculation, or you just come a little bit sooner than you'd like to, you can check out Promescent. It is a quickly absorbing delay spray and it allows you to have the sex you want. You can focus on your partner, you can now focus on your partner's hot body and you don't have to think about baseball when you're using Promescent because it helps you last longer, it's a delay spray, it doesn't transfer to your partner, and you will last twice as long and close the orgasm gap because men just, they tend to come quicker than women. We take 20 minutes, you take between 4 and 6 minutes. Take 20 minutes or longer. This will close that gap. Go to promescent.com. That's P-R-O-M-E-S-C-E-N-T.com. Check it out. Thanks for listening.

Hey, y'all. Jordan Harbinger from The Art of Charm here. The Art of Charm is packed with wisdom in the truest sense of the word, from how to become more productive and professional to how to meet and attract women and manage relationships. We talk about how to create confidence, how to get people to like and trust you, productivity time management, biohacking, and more. This is a show that offers meaningful, fun, life-changing insights with a practical edge so listeners can apply something right out of the box every show, every day. So come hang with us here on The Art of Charm podcast and start crushing it today. President Barack Obama: Virginia, we are counting on you. Republicans want to steal enough seats in Congress to rig the next election and wield unchecked power for 2 more years. But you can stop them by voting yes by April 21st. Help put our elections back on a level playing field and let voters decide, not politicians. Vote yes by April 21st. Paid for by Virginians for Fair Elections. USAA knows dynamic duos can save the day, like superheroes and sidekicks or auto and home insurance. With USAA, you can bundle your auto and home and save up to 10%. 10%. Tap the banner to learn more and get a quote at usaa.com/bundle. Restrictions apply.