Best Of: Forbidden Sex and Frisky Texts with Jake and Amir

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It's a throwback. Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed.

By eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them, in a bygone day.

Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just.

Got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. A girl's gotta have her standards.

Oh, my.

Do women know about shrinkage?

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean? Like laundry?

It shrinks.

Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh, my God, I feel so good. Being bad feels pretty good.

You know, Emily's not the kind of.

Girl you just play with.

Rerolling. Yes. Sound speed.

Hey, everyone. Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. We have the funny BFFs Jake and Amir. And they have a web series on college humor and a podcast. If I were you. And they're just all around fun. You guys. Jakeinamir.com. check it out. We're going to be giving you advice on a variety of topics tonight. Sex, dating, relationships. And you're going to get a little more of the male perspective. So thanks for listening. I'm sorry about being okay. I was really on time. Yeah. We need to talk in 10 years. No, but I've been thinking about the 10 year thing. Like, it's. I started my podcast 10 years ago, and then we were on CBS radio in 2006. Is that you started. So that's. I mean, 10. 10 years of the show and then that, you know, and I think that just, you know, we got. Remember we used to say, like, show 69, we're gonna have a drinking show.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We never did. And then we're like 169. And now we have like 2,000 shows. And I just think we should do something fun.

Like, have you ever had the drinking.

Show, like in our shows? No. We should be. Wait.

Well, yeah, we were really drunk that one time.

We were doing a live show on Sirius.

Yeah.

And Playboy was it. Or no.

Yeah.

And we got really drunk.

Really drunk. And we thought we were so funny.

Will you have us back for a drink?

Yeah. That'd be really cool.

Do you guys want to come? Yes, definitely, I think. Who isn't a little better when they're a little buzzed?

We've done a couple drinking shows now.

Are you like, wasted?

Funny? No, we're like happy drunk.

Are you funnier, you think when you're drunk or not?

We're definitely more confident.

Well, that's the thing. No filter. Like, I already have no filter, but then I have no filter.

You need less of a filter.

Less of a filter. So then it's, you know, it's really good. But I'm sorry, I was. Here's the thing. I tried to get here, you know, I try to be on time. And the frigging bathrooms. Okay, so we're the podcast. One building where we were recording and they took to the beautiful bathroom right next door that they just took down. You walk in there, it looks like you're gonna fall into a construction hole because there's like no floor. And everyone was trying to send me, so I ran. You said that way. I ran in my five inch heels. I fell down. There's a FedEx guy. And like, where's the bathroom? And then at the same time, I had a wardrobe malfunction. And like, my bra popped open and then my bag. That's what happened before the show.

Oh, no.

So I'm sorry that we're starting a.

Little bit late, but what a good day for the FedEx guy.

Yeah, but the whole bathroom thing. And then I just. I just felt bad. I lost the moment already. Cause you guys are, you know, you guys are here and I just felt bad. Cause I didn't, you know, I'm happy to be here. So glad you're here. And I don't like being, you know, late. Cause I've like, I have to pee and there's no bathroom.

Well, I also was late because I got here.

You were late?

Yeah, I went downstairs to pee.

Did you have the same issue, though, finding the bathroom?

My penis fell out when I was talking to the FedEx guy. Exactly.

Oh, my God. That's why he looks so scared.

That was it.

Oh, my God. Okay, so Jake and Amir menace wanted rather. We don't have anything to say.

Yeah, just hurry up with what you have to say and then I want to talk to them.

Okay, dude, shut up.

Hold on.

Don't be so fucking.

You guys have known each other?

No, here's the thing. This is why people. So Madis and I do the show sometimes, like most every other. I do two shows. He's on Some not. He was on and on. He lived. Still lived in San Francisco.

Yeah.

And people would like it because he's kind of like. Likes to give me shit about stuff that's really old issues, has nothing to do with how I am anyway. And then when there's guests here that he's, like, into, then he acts like, even then he's even more of a douchebag.

Hell, no. She's totally douchebag. When there's guests in all the time.

He, like, likes you guys. He's, like, trying to be cool.

That's her.

You're deflecting.

That is totally you.

We are siblings, except for.

Yeah, all right, I'm gonna let you do your thing. I'm gonna fix something.

Yeah, go do your thing. I have nothing. I was just gonna say that I'm doing. Oh, okay. So, Menace, you dying to talk? What were you gonna say?

No, I was just. Well, I was gonna move on into your sex life. What's going on?

Oh, God.

Who you banging?

Who are you hooking up with? Whoa, Jesus.

Really?

Brief Menace, what's going on on Tinder?

Menace is at a girl. I went on Tinder once and then.

Shut the fuck up.

You went on the app once or you went on a date?

Oh, I went on the app a bunch, just to show my friends who've never been on it what it is. I went on one date. It was actually a blind. It was a live blind Tinder date on my show.

Oh.

Oh, shit.

In the studio. So, yeah, I do my show before Loveline, usually in the studio. And they. They all met him beforehand. We had wine, like we used to do at the station.

How was it?

It was like a real date? Well, the podcast. Live Date was good. Like, I liked him there, but you know how you're sort of in a weird. Like, I won't remember. Do you remember everything that you say when you're on your show?

No.

It's like this weird open zone where you feel very comfortable and free.

Exactly. And people are like, oh, you said this or that. I'm like, did I say that? Like, I don't even remember. So, anyway, it was a nice date. I felt present and connected to him, and I liked him. And then we went on a second date, and I didn't want to kiss him when we got out of the car. And I think it's a pretty clear sign. He's like, you're clearly not into me. I'm like, no, you're awesome. You're sweet.

Well, it's nice that he Said that it's nice that he said, you're not into me.

Yeah. He's like, oh, if you don't want to kiss me. Yeah, he didn't really say that, but he kind of was like, okay, I got it. Like, I'm out. And I never heard from him again. But I like Tinder just to show people. But I'm not. I'm showing. I'm not on it right now.

How come?

But because I actually don't have a lot of time. I would start finding matches on there and then I forget to get back to them. And like, they were cute guys too, sometimes.

Mostly losers.

But you're hooking up with your career.

I know, but it's been a really long relationship. Like, we're already. I'm almost already. Like, I think it's time to break up. No, I love my. I love my.

Amir's single.

Are you. We talked about this.

Yeah.

So do you. How do you, like, actively single? Like, are you out there trying to find someone?

I'm out there trying to find some. Two, not necessarily someone. Excuse me, I'm looking for a threesome. No, no, no. I'm not looking for a relationship.

You're not looking for relationship. You're looking for casual sex. Friends with benefits.

Yeah, that kind of stuff.

Okay.

I found that I'm really into like the first three dates.

Well, that's the best part. That's the best part of the entire relationship. You can never get that back.

So that's why I only gonna have three dates from now on.

Yeah, it's like. Or drug. Any. Have you ever done any kind of drug?

I haven't. I've only done the three dates thing.

I'll understand the metaphor. I love drugs.

You get it? You love drugs. Okay, so those first three dates, or sometimes they call it the first like three months of any relationship. Three to six months. The honeymoon phase. When you're like, oh my God, they're amazing. If you look at the brain chemicals that are spiked, dopamine and oxytocin, that's.

The same as drugs.

Same as being in drugs. But the addiction, you get to that. You're like, I want that back. I want that back. And when it dies for you, it's pretty three dates. But that's typical between like three days, six months. You can never go back to that. You can keep it going and interesting and apparently if you in a long term relationship, it gets like deeper and more profound.

Right.

There's another chemical that I forget what.

It'S called, but dopamine oxytocin and serotonin. Yeah, Cortisol. So there's something with an N. Cortisol, Ephraim or whatever.

Norepinephrine.

Norepinephrine, yeah, that's the one that like creates long lasting bonds.

Exactly.

So you feel like a sense of loyalty even though you're not getting that like dopamine rush.

Exactly.

You find pleasure in committing to someone.

Exactly, exactly. That's exactly what it is. It's attachment.

Right corner.

It's like the attachment gene. So what happens is those are spiking. The first three dates you're like, oh my God. And then you're like, I already know this. It's not that you want, you want the rush.

Yeah, yeah. It's exciting to meet new people.

It was all on dopamine.

The thing is, people are. It's hard because it's hard to get that back too. So maybe you gotta go to date four next.

But if I, if I'm after date three, I already know that I don't want to like marry this person. I already feel bad stringing them along for date 4, 5, 6, 7.

At least you know that her, she'll go like ye. 40 more dates with the guy.

I did him for four years.

She doesn't even like it.

I don't do that anymore.

Okay.

I've cut the time in half.

All right, good.

Yeah, we are smarter. You know what you want now?

Yeah, yeah. No, I mean, I know what I don't like, I know what I don't want. I know what I want, but I know what I can recognize. It doesn't take me three years now. It takes. But here's my question for you guys. So when you go on, are you single as well?

Yes.

Okay. Oh, good. So how long does it take when you're on a date and you decide, does it take you to the third dates? Does it take, do you know on the first date to decide what to decide? That you don't want to be with them or you?

Oh, I just know that I never want to be with anybody, but I would. I go past the third. I go past the third date.

Right, because you want the sex.

Yeah, I like that because that happens.

On the fourth date. Typically they say, oh, that's how I want that.

Is that the average?

No, I don't want to perpetuate that, but yes. Menace you've been, don't you think like the fourth date or. That's what everyone says.

Like, I have sex on the majority of first dates. That I'm on.

You do?

Well, you don't go on dates. You just. Oh, right.

I just get drunk places.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that was sort of like a date. Jake's not having like a sober dinner with someone.

You're not like taking it to like a show or something.

It's like, hey, I'm at this dance club. It's 12:18am yeah, let's come meet me. Oh, we hooked up. Yeah. That's date one, right?

Yeah, that. Okay. So you just hook up with chicks mostly?

Yeah.

Yeah. Is it because. Do you have like anxiety around approaching women and meeting them when you're not.

No, I will.

No, most people do. And that's why guys are so. Email me every day because, you know.

I think I just have anxiety about like, liking to be alone. So I don't want to like date anybody and have them in front of you, have my time tied up.

Yeah, I totally got it. That's been absolutely. I know what you mean because you feel like, you feel like you're giving up a part of your independence and your freedom. But what they say, and I say as they say.

You keep referencing this. You're talking about the two next door.

Let me tell you, I'm not married.

People that are poisoning our ears.

Can I be like, Can I be honest, Jake? I'm more like you. Like, I'm. They say that it goes deeper when you stick with someone long. I've been in long term relationships. It does happen, but that's not typically. That's not really what I want either. And I also have a fear of losing my independence. And in relationship, I'm very, you know, I am married to my career. We're having a really good time here. No, but I, I am sort of. If someone ever tries to take that time away from me, I'm like, I want to. Like, I want. It makes me anxious.

Yeah.

And they say they. Now I know it's true because I've kind of done it. What I'm saying is people, you, you can have your independence. When you're in a relationship with someone, you will find someone where you'll be able to still be you and she'll appreciate your own, your loan time.

I'm not worried about another person taking that from me and like another person stealing my independence. I just know me in relationships, I don't.

Give yourself the space.

I don't do enough to protect my independence because I like my initial thought, especially when I'm in that honeymoon phase, which is the most dangerous place for me. To be. I'm like, over, promising, overshadowing.

You, like, give her a key, she moves in.

Yeah.

Getting connected. And then it's like I turn around, three months later, I'm like, fuck, right?

Why is she living with us? Cause you guys are roommates, right? Does he have girls who, like, stay for weeks at a time?

Not weeks at a time, but like.

Oh, right.

Days.

Days, hours. Really? The last one was two minutes, which I thought was kind of rude.

Yeah, I've gotten faster.

All right. Do we just talk about that?

Can I rewind back, though? Real. You guys, you know, started out in New York.

Yeah.

And now you're here in Los Angeles. Why'd you come to LA and how much, you know difference? Is it because something just came out today where New York is like the third freakiest city.

Freakies.

Yeah, for like people like getting it on. And then LA is like number six.

Wait, what's number two? One and two of New York's number.

Two is San Francisco and number one is Portland, actually.

Portland.

Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense.

Really?

So how has it been, like, the transition? Why did you guys even come out here?

I don't know. We should have moved to Portland.

Yeah.

I thought it was gonna be freaky.

I'd be down to get a little freakier.

Yeah.

As luck would have it, because.

Well.

Okay, so you guys have, you know, a certain level of fame, like in New York. Right. So it was probably easy to hook up with.

I'd put your hand closer to the table when you said certain level. Yeah.

The thing about our popularity is that we're. We're well known amongst a lot of like, basically teenage to college aged guys. So it doesn't really help with girls right off the bat. It helps eventually.

Yeah.

When like on date two or something when they ask what we do and they find out that we're not even that we're famous, but just that we're writers and that we're successful at it.

Yeah.

I think that goes a long way.

If only we were gay pedophiles. I feel like we'd have a field day just boning 15 year old.

Like if we were in a semi popular band, we would have sex way, way more than we had.

No music trump all however women they like.

So they look you up on like Twitter or Instagram, like, oh, all they got all these followers.

Yeah.

And it's kind of funny, they already.

Googled you before the first.

Yeah.

And it gives us a chance to be humble because they look us up and they're like, wow, why do you guys have so many followers? And we're like, oh, we're just. I don't know, we just like to write and that's. That's all.

Yeah, yeah. So that definitely helps out. But how's that. How's that been, like, versus LA versus New York and stuff like that for you guys?

It is more tame out here. Although I was in a relationship for most of New York, so, like, I wasn't a single eligible dude in New York, so.

Five date relationship. Five dates.

Oh, no, that was three years plus. Wow.

Good for you.

So I don't know what happened after that. I turned into this. No, it wasn't even that hard. It was like, fairly mutual. Yeah, mutual.

I'm not into here. You're not into me?

Yeah. I was like, oh, we're not gonna get married.

You spent so long not having independence.

That you really value. Yeah. Now I like, I stocked up on my not being independent and now that I have it, I'm like, oh, I can't get rid of it ever anytime soon.

So how are you trying to. So are you.

How are you meeting girls either in person while traveling or online with apps?

Which apps? Tinder.

I've used Tinder.

Okay. My friend calls it a blowjob dispensary.

Wow. That is an amazing log line for any Apple. He. Oh, it's a dude that gets blowjobs.

Yeah.

I haven't gotten a lot of blowjobs from Tinder, actually. Wow. I should talk to. Is he more attractive than me?

No. No such a thing. He's different than you.

That's. Yes. How old is he?

He has a better face body than Dick.

34, 35.

Oh, is he getting blowjobs from younger or older ladies?

Younger. The younger girls, because I think they're like, I'm not going to do anything because I don't want to slink a brood, but I'll give him a blowjob.

If it's anybody that she's hanging out with. He's definitely sleazier.

That happens to you sometimes where a girl's like, I don't want to have sex with you, but I'll blow you.

Yeah, yeah.

Sleazers. We're just pleasers.

It's so intimate.

I know.

You give a blow girls right away.

That's the new making out, though. Everything is so next level these days.

Anal's like shaking hands.

Wow. I should redownload.

Call me my parents for Christmas.

Okay. Hot.

So, Tinder. So do you find that the girls are different than the Just. Let's just say overall, forget about meeting.

I would imagine they're more straightforward in New York.

Oh, in la. In la it's much more like professional. And like, I'm like, dating when I'm like. And like New York, it's kind of like you said, it's going out late at night, it's getting free.

I didn't go on a lot of. I think because New York, there's so many places to go out and I think you don't want to waste a weekend like going on a date. I would be out with my friends and like, all of us would be on Tinder, like, and somebody would get a Tinder match and then like a group of girls would come out and meet us. That was the way that.

That's so brilliant.

Which is so much more fun than like a single date. That's like, I have to go and give you two hours of my time at dinner. I don't know.

She shows up, you're like, dinner. Like, I want her to leave now before he brings a menu.

And the first half of the date is sober. Very sober.

Right?

Yeah.

What's another benefit about New York is everything stays open so late, you know, so you just get more and more drunk.

It's true. Is more of a. Like a party scene. LA is. I mean, I guess Uber and ride sharing is sort of changing that because my experience in L. A, it's been like, you know, we're. We're all going to go to one bar because parking's a hassle, and then we all can't get that drunk because we all have to drive home.

Yeah, Uber and Tinder. Like, nobody ever has to like, leave their self drive.

It's making LA a little more fun.

Go on a date ever again and worry about getting. No one's going to get a DUI or go on a date again ever. Probably because that's the thing is about Tinder. So ever before that though, before Tinder even, it feels like for a year at least San Francisco, because we lived in San Francisco. You're a Bay Area. You're from the Bay Area, right?

No, I went to school up there.

Berkeley.

Yeah. Yeah.

Did you?

No, I have nothing to do with the.

You guys met. You guys became BFFs after college.

Yeah, we met in New York City.

Okay, got it. So. But up there too, I felt like no one asked you out. They're kind of like, hey, meet up with my friends. Like, that's typically what I think guys do anyway. And then on Tinder you just order it like, you know, it's like ordering a pizza. You, you know someone's coming. It's not like, maybe we'll meet a chick tonight.

Exactly. Which is nice.

I mean, awesome. That's awesome.

I don't want to sacrifice time with my boys. I love my friends.

I know. You're so. You're in the dude phase now. It's fine. Don't trip on it. I think it's okay. Because you'll get to the point maybe where you're ready for it, you know, where you're like, oh, actually now my alone space doesn't feel as, you know, it doesn't. It feels like I'd like to share.

Another problem is I don't. I don't ever feel alone because I live with two of my friends. So I'm like, isn't it lonely to be alone, single? It's like, no. I'm always just at home hanging out. If I was living in a studio apartment, I have to get a shitty studio apartment and not live with anyone. Then I will feel the loneliness enough.

To miss me or a girlfriend.

I would miss. Oh, what do you mean right now?

Like, if you lived alone, would you say, hey, I want to live with you and Marty?

Oh, yeah, I would just move back with you. Yeah, that's what I would miss. Is there a Tinder for friends? Is there an adult.

Facebook?

Perfect.

No, but there should be for friends because like, I just moved. I mean, I moved here two years ago now, but it's hard to meet, like, good. I mean, I've met some people. I have a million friends.

You just need to meet one because then they can meet, introduce you to three.

No, I have. No, I mean, I have, but like, it'd be nice just to not have to go through the bullshit people.

Who's your newest friend?

You suck. My friend Emily.

Your newest friend?

Her name is Emily. That's the only thing that sucks about her is I'm like, mm, no, I hate her name.

How.

When did you meet her?

I've never been friends with another Emily. I met Emily a few months ago.

And then you had one on one time alone time.

Yes. She's so funny that I laughed so hard that my. My son stomach, it hurts.

Like actual side splitting laugh. Wow.

Side splitting.

How did you meet her?

I met her through a friend of mine that I was kind of dating or date sometimes.

Oh, it's like a friend of a friend.

Yeah, yeah. And they're best friends, you know, and then she's married. She's cool, but she's awesome and she's hilarious and she makes me laugh. And the other night we actually went out with some friends. We went out with. I don't want to like be like whatever, but let's just say somebody entertainment because I talk about names, but he's.

Oh, wait, mouth the name of me so I can now.

No, I don't do that.

She just mouths John Stamos, Uncle Jesse.

I think she's funny. But he was like, oh, my God. And he said the next day she should do sketch or something. She's really funny. I'm like, you know, and she's cool. So she's a new friend. I love her.

That's good.

I have a few good girlfriends from college here. It's all going well.

Making new friends is very fun.

Exactly.

It's fun to have a new friend.

Did you have any new. I feel like we're new friends because we had dinner at the podcast one.

Yeah, but it's not like we're spending one on one time. We're not texting.

You never, like call me or text me anymore.

Did you want me to?

We never did.

I never got your phone call.

Well, you never tweet me.

How do I. Oh, yeah, I guess.

I don't tweet you.

I don't tweet you. Yeah, you didn't tweet me. Well, I thought we were friends. We like, you know, things were going well.

We were deaf friendly.

But you guys do mind, I have to take a quick break here. I actually do mind, but I do want. When we come back, I would love you guys to. You guys give advice and you're amazing. Podcast.

We do.

I would like you to help us give some people advice. So right now, though.

Oh, right now.

Oh, you know what I need to talk about. Speaking of lasting two minutes. Remember you said that earlier some of your relationships. We're going to take a quick break and be right back.

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It'D be funny if you guys feel that.

Sorry, I continue, but I can just say something aside. It'd be funny. If the pill is just given to a girl to have an orgasm faster, it doesn't do anything to the guy.

Wouldn't that be awesome?

We close the gap by making the girl come instantly so that you guys are on the same page.

That would be amazing.

Menace hates foreplay. I don't even think he knows what it is.

It's too much work.

He's like, really? Like, we used to have these things on the show. He's like, how long? How long do I have to do?

Well, she was like, oh, two hours. You need to make out. And then it's like. Then you're gonna last, like two minutes in bed. That's your problem because you're so excited to, like, finally have some insertion, you know?

No, I got it. I mean, I understand that it's not ideal that our machines work differently, but you just gotta put in the time.

Guys are just too much goddamn work.

Is what it is. Well, the thing is, it's. It's great for guys probably more than it is for girls. And so you have to put in.

More effort because what's great for guys more than girls?

Sex.

No, I disagree.

Well, great sex is great for girls, but I'm saying, on average, guys probably.

Oh, yeah. Guys are like, it's like pizza. Like what? Really? Like, necessarily bad pizza. It's the same thing. Like, I got you guys, 99.9% of the time you are going to have an orgasm and it's gonna be awesome. And you'll be like, yeah, I could have masturbated. I could have had sex. Doesn't matter. I Got off.

Guys, typically, women, like, a good guy deals with guilt afterwards.

Oh, you do? Tell me about it.

Well, like, if I come too early or like, if I come ahead of somebody and they don't get off, then I feel.

But then you got to just turn around and get them off. You got to take this necklace I'm gonna give you.

But I get what you're saying. No, I get it. Guys, there's a lot of guilt.

I'm not saying, like, yeah, girls definitely have the sex thing worse.

But let me tell you one thing, though. Women, we don't trip if we never have an orgasm. Like, we don't care if we don't have an orgasm every time. We really don't.

That's what I've heard. It's like, don't worry.

And we're not lying to you about that. Here's the problem. If you're with a guy and he doesn't even make an effort, or he doesn't seem to care, and he just, like, three pump chump, and he's like, doing the whole, like, you know, jackhammer, and then he's out, right? You're like, you're. You're. You're douche. Like, you have. No, but if a guy's like, oh, I'm just, you know, let me please you first.

Like, I clearly can.

You clearly tried. Didn't happen. We appreciate that more than you just, like, going in, you know, wham, bam, I'm out.

You don't want to feel like a Fleshlight.

Yeah, exactly. You might want one, but you don't want to feel like one.

That's right.

So that is the whole foreplay. Okay, so we're talking to Jake and Amir. So when you meet.

Oh, yeah.

Do you feel there's pressure, not only sexually, but to be funny? Like, I'd be like, you're so funny. Don't you. Do you feel like.

No, that we don't. We're lucky. I can only be funny.

That's your thing. But a girl, okay, what if a girl. You're out with her and she's like, doesn't get your sense of humor? That must.

Oh, yeah, that's. That's happened before.

You're like, I'm funny.

You know, somebody doesn't get our sense of humor. I don't know. I've never had somebody, like, straight up think I wasn't funny. But I've had even girlfriends, like, tell me that a joke I said was not funny. And that's such a turn off because it, like, that's all I am.

Right.

So, like, that joke was bad. Jake, I will shrink. And it's like, it's not. I'm not fun to be around.

Right. No, I get it. So you mean, like, if it's like, you're performing or if you're just, like, talking to her and she.

Yeah, if I'm just talking to somebody. If I'm, like, around a group of people and I'm, like, telling jokes and everyone's laughing and my girlfriend is like, you're. Stop.

She's no longer your girlfriend. That's like, date.

That's the beginning of the day.

That's the second date. That's when it ends. Usually, anyway, she insults her jokes. But you guys, also. I wanted to tell you this just to make you feel even better than you probably already do, is that a recent study came out. It found that women reported having more pleasurable sex, AKA orgasms, with guys who they believed had a good sense of humor.

Wow.

So there you got, like, more than half the battle won.

Cool.

I don't think you guys have a problem, really.

Well, you have no idea how terrible Jake is in bed. You are. What?

I'm great at giving orgasms. Let's 69 and see who comes first. You're on, brother.

Do you guys hear. Since you're roommates, do you hear each other having sex ever?

No. I live in a back house detached from our actual house.

Really?

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Awesome.

That's probably a good idea, because you don't want to.

Like, what about in our old place? Those were thin walls. Oh, yeah.

You never got laid.

That's true. And you always did. But I put on those headphones.

Have you ever heard of that?

I don't think so.

I don't think I've ever heard you have sex.

There you have it.

And there was one time where I tried to listen.

There's any more sex going on. Like, it was really quick. It was over before it started.

You don't make noise.

I mean, whether it's me or, like, furniture moving, there's probably noise.

Partner dropping guys. I don't think that guys make enough noise during sex.

Did you? You dated that one guy and you said at the end, he didn't make any noise.

I didn't even know. Like, I'm like, are you so live. Like, if he. If I knew he had orgasm, he.

Was like.

Oh, Oh, I like that. I do some heavy breathing and some whispering.

No, there was, like, no breathing, like, preceding it. There was nothing. It was like. And that's I had to, like.

And then you were done.

Yeah, but it was just so not. I'm not saying you guys gotta be screaming and moaning and yelling, but just like, a little bit of, like, breathing.

I started growling when I orgasmed. No lie.

Really? Like how? Show me. Like a tiger.

Wow, that's hot.

I don't know. I mean, that's. That's like.

That's so primal. But, like, that wasn't the real growl.

You're really having an orgasm and you really growl.

It feels.

It feels fucking amazing. I didn't do it just for show.

No, I love that. That's like, so primal.

Yeah.

Comes a tiger. What do you do in your orgasm menace.

Just thank God that's alive because I'm so fat.

Just out of breath, just gassed out.

Oh, that's a good feelings after sex. Okay, but did you see that new.

Study that said the fat guys last longer in bed?

Yeah, that was done by.

Google it.

Yeah, I did. I did last longer in bed. You know why? Because you're probably on the bottom. You're not. You're not doing it from behind. You're not doing it in the positions that are gonna be.

Make it more.

It lasts like four extra minutes and.

You'Re just lying there. Yeah. Well, that's good, dude. You got that going.

Hell, yeah.

Here's some questions, okay. Because you guys on your podcast, which is if I. What is if I were you. If I were you. Why did I say if I were. If I were you is their awesome podcast, which is super successful. So congratulations on that.

Thank you.

And you can get on itunes. And you. And you give advice.

We do.

And so I thought since I tried to sometimes, you know, give advice to my people here. Thank you for emailing me feedbackaxwithelmy.com that we could all help people together, like, and it's really meaningful. And thank you. Hi, Emily. I'm a new listener to the show, so sorry if this has already been covered. My question is, if a guy is playing the field and having a normal sex life with different women, what is the etiquette in terms of having him owning sex toys? I've never owned one, but I assume the first thought a woman would have if you brought one in the bedroom would be, who else have you been using that with? Thanks, Brendon.

Well, yeah, okay, I can go first here. I was just. Because I do. It's my show. Yeah, that's weird, Brendan. So here's the thing. You don't want to, like, stock up on sex toys that Are opened and have them in your house and whip out. Because I've had this happen to friends. Seriously, friends. Not me, because I think guys know better. But I have had friends. They're like, where was that vibration? It was like, pubic hair.

Where has it been?

Grass. No, I mean, whatever. It was when people used to have pubic hair.

I don't know.

So, no, you don't want to, like, buy. Stock up on them. However, if you think there's something like a penis ring. Have you ever used, like, sex toys, like a cock ring? Or like, that goes on your thing, you know, it's new and you bought. You bought it. And I got this cool thing from my friend Emily because I give all my friends sex toys, right? Then that's fine, but you don't want to bring in ones that have been used. So interesting.

I don't think I haven't had sex enough to need to incorporate toys. Sex enough. Sex in general is so, like, fun for me that I don't need to spice it up yet.

Toys, because they've had so much that it's just.

I think it is. They're just bored with sex at this point. Oh, now I have to spice.

It's a gateway drug. That's what I've been telling her forever. Because you start with one little tiny one, and then next thing you know, it's like a dump truck, bulldozer type apparatus.

Wanted to create a really sexy toy called the dunk dump truck.

I know.

I was gonna. It's a huge, huge hit in China. But it didn't happen. But the thing is, first of all, sex toys. Speaking of orgasms, earlier, for a lot of women, that's the only. That's your penis. No matter how big, no matter how it moves, no matter how small. It doesn't matter. Like, because some women prefer that. They just can't. Like, they need a vibrator. They need extra clitoral stimulation. Because the typical moves during sex, you're not hitting clitoris. So it's not that it's gotten old and boring. It's that it, like, takes it. It's like having dessert that night at dinner. It's like, oh, this is great sex with you. And then I'm great.

You're preaching to this guy who says that.

Well, you also said you never use sex toys.

I never use a sex toy. But I'm not saying. But it's not because my sex is so great that I don't need them.

Right?

But I just.

No, right. But one day, typically, I Guess the cool thing to do is most women have them. Like, over 54% of women own sex toys now. So the cool thing, if you're ever interested, you might want to say, hey, babe, so do you got any toys? I'd love to see them. And then she'll feel comfortable. And then actually it's kind of hot. Like, it's not that she's. You're just sitting there watching, and it's not like it's a big thing. Freaking vibrating. Like, it could be this. Like, is this scary? No. This little vesper. So then you could play with her. There's ones you could use together anyway. They could be hot. Yeah. So sex toys. Moving on. So you guys don't know that about sex toys, but typically. Oh, here's the thing, Brendan. If you aren't a polyamorous open. No, I'm saying it's not your thing, but if you are like an open. Like, I know people who are in open relationships and they actually do share sex toys. Oh, but you clean them after.

Did you hear the story recently?

I'm sorry? Did you hear the story recently? The guy, he was watch. He was like boiling all the dildos and he burned down his house.

He was trying to do a favor for his wife because they'd been fighting about something. He goes like, I'm gonna clean our sex toy collection. That's gonna be such a nice thing. So he goes downstairs, he puts them in boiling water, which you actually should not do. I guess they were glass dildos maybe, or whatever. But whatever it is, he was boiling water and then he forgot, went upstairs, got on the phone, and then all of a sudden this fire alarm's going off, it's smoking. His wife's like, what are you doing? And they run downstairs and she's like boiling this. He's boiling the sex toys, and the whole house almost goes on fire.

Oh, geez.

Guy trying to do a nice goddamn thing. Yes, I did hear that. Okay. Dear Emily, I've listened to your show for years, both with you and sometimes Menace too. I have very crude associate that sends me video clips. Crude associate. And I happened to actually watch one the other day, and I thought I heard Menace talking in the background. I don't really pay attention into the 30 second video. I didn't really pay attention to it, but I just thought I'd email you rather than rewind, wondering if you ever noticed if you ever recorded or worked with Girls Gone Wild. I don't mean to imply anything weird, but he has a distinct voice. I Was curious. Love your show. Think it's a great thing. I listen to it all the time. Cue up the great work, Robert.

Girls Gone Wild.

Yeah, well, I mean, you're sweating.

Oh, like, with the boobs on spring break.

Girls gone wild.

14.

Dude, you were Snoop Dogg in New Orleans.

Yeah, for sure.

No, I mean, no.

When I worked at like, hip hop pop radio in San Francisco. I've been to so many nightclubs and, like, been drunk, blacked out and.

But were you on a bus outside that had women, like, flashing?

Not outside, but Dennis was flashing his brain.

I mean, I definitely been around, like, girls just naked in the club and stuff like that. Maybe I was in the background or something. But if it's like some.

That's not your jam.

You brought it up like some horse in some other person, then it's definitely not me.

And no offense, like Girls Gone Wild.

Depending on, like, how crude they think it is.

Yeah, like Girls Gone Wild. Like, they're not.

That's not.

Like boobs. Boobs, definitely.

You also. Thanks for clearing that up. We were really stressed about it. We didn't know.

Yeah, I also saw him refereeing 12 bum fights.

Yeah, that too. Yeah, for sure.

It's just in the background.

A really depraved Internet hell. Yeah.

Okay, we have another email which I think is really relevant to you guys. Well, I'm just going to read it. Here we go. How to sext. Hiya. This is really embarrassing to ask, but I really struggle with writing sexual messages to my partner. He is really good at it, but I feel like I'm disappointing him because I don't know what to write back to him. So I usually always say, oh, wow, come here. Now it's really bad. And I just see if you could give me some advice on what to say to him. Thanks, Katie. Well, the reason why is because. Don't you have like, ask a mirror or something?

No, it's called textjake.com text.

Jake, it's you. Sorry. You guys Is a text.

Is a text expert.

Okay. So right. Text jake.com. and people can send you like in real life, like screen grabs. Well, how do I respond?

Actual screenshots of text and they're like, what should I say to respond to this?

So do you ever respond? That's. So do they pay $5amessage?

Wow, that good.

Well, do you notice that is brilliant. Because guys who can't give. Forget sex. Guys who can't give, good text, it's.

Over, can't get laid, sense of humor thing. It really does because texting is all about just like.

Exactly.

Micro flirtation. And that's what. That's. So many people are bad at it. And it's literally the one thing I'm.

Good at that that is. Well, it's. It's because I've dated guys that I was like, I liked him so much better when we're just texting. Like we dated for a while. I'm like, I think I just want him to go to the room and text me because it's so much more. Not that you're like that, but funny. So do any of them. I mean, you're funny and you can text, so. Do people ever ask you to sext?

They have. Yeah.

Oh, we should start sexed jake.com.

You should start. Dude, anything with sex in the title.

I would love to. Man. Sexting. It really is.

I'll do it with you. Like, we could do sex. Well, not. I'll help. Whatever. You probably know, I'm sure.

Has anybody. Has anybody done that? They asked you for sext advice?

Yeah, that's what you said. And what do you say?

It's happened once or twice. I mean, I. I could always write just like one message. I think the one that like gets would get me off the most is like, I want. I want to suck your cock. I want to. I want you to fuck me from behind.

Right.

Those are pretty standard. But then like, that's funny. Most of it's like, that's funny. I think most of it, like becoming desensitized. I just said in orgasm, it's like, it's. I don't know. People are just so self conscious, but.

Right.

I think you just bite the bullet and you send it and you get, you get more desensitized each message you send.

That's true. It is true. But how do you. Katie wants to know, like, how you warm up. So I would say, like, ask questions and tell. I think you have to.

When you're sexy on them for a little bit.

Yeah. And also make it like a fantasy. So you want to be kind of linear. You want to just kind of say dirty talk. You just kind of want to say what you describe. Be descriptive. So like, you know, I was thinking about you. I just got home and I got in bed and I'm thinking about you right now. I took my clothes off or something. And then you'd say, like, really? Like, what are you doing? Well, I'm touching myself. I mean, just kind of go from there.

Right.

Tell them what you'd like to do. Like, she could say, oh, I'm thinking about sucking your cocktail. I mean, she doesn't leave with that. Yeah, baby, I'm thinking about having you. Okay, here's the thing, Katie. If you're a newbie, I'm not even gonna make you use the word cock, which was actually voted the number one word that was used in erotica. Erotica, the other day. Cock, if you want to know it, is very.

Just a little powerful.

I would rather see somebody say hard dick.

Really?

Yeah.

That would turn me up.

You're hard dick. Dick. Really?

See, to me, I'm like, yeah, dick's a little. It makes it. But saying hard in front of it, hard cock makes it sound like.

It's not like she's porn. She's poor.

You can't talk about my dick. Like, using the word cock.

Right? No, I got it. It's all porn, so. Okay, I'm not even. What would. Let's say you just start because you guys date nice girls, like Katie, who maybe they're not as professional at sexting. So what would get you going? How would you like to receive your sext? And let's help Katie. So Katie's a newbie. She's dating the sky. How long should she be dating him? Let's say.

Can I just say first, I would like her just to initiate this sexting, you know, because probably 95% of the time, women aren't.

You know, I never initiate it.

The guy has to, right?

So let's say he says, I've been thinking. Okay. Let's say he says to her how, okay, last night was so hot. I keep thinking about your hot body or something. And then what would you want back from that?

If he said, if I touched last.

Night was so hot. Because she says he wouldn't say that. Yeah, they would. Dude.

No way.

You do.

Please just tell Madison.

Aren't you afraid that, like, somebody would screenshot that and be, like, tweet it out, like, oh, look what happened.

Show somebody how sexy of a writer I am.

Yeah, that would be a good thing. That would help you get.

You know, that's why. Well, that's why you'd never, like. I would never send an unsolicited creepy. Yeah, I always would. Make sure that it's somebody that wants to get it.

Yeah.

And so what would you tell? Like, so you know. Yeah, because men is. I think that women, we like to be complimented. We just do. There is no woman on the planet like, oh, I hate when he tells me I look hot. And we used to joke I wasn't really joking, but, like, compliment are, like, 10 times a day if you're with a girl, like, you look hot. I know, but I was just to get my point across. So I think, you know, to say, like, you were so hot last night, thinking about you, you know, and then you shoot. She could say, like, oh, really? Like, what are you thinking about? He'd be like, when you were sucking my hard dick. And then she'd say, that was really hot. What would you. You know, just get creative, Katie. Like, think of any erotica. You know what the problem is? A lot of men think about his.

Favorite thing during sex. What was he like when you were actually.

Exactly.

So. Right. Think about. I was thinking, like, so when you're having sex, was he, like, really moaning when you were, you know, slapping his face or something?

Like, when your legs are straight up, does he, like, when you're riding him reverse cowgirl, you know, just, like, talk about.

Exactly. Tap into how. Explain your last sex session or your most memorable sex session to him verbatim in text, and, like, talk about what you want to do and. Right.

Yeah. I mean, asking questions is a way to keep it going without necessarily.

Yeah. If he says, I want to take your clothes off, she'd be like, well, what do you want to do next? And then what? And then what? And then what? And then that could get her going.

Right.

And then you'll already be going, Katie. And then you'll know what's going on.

Say it's like dancing where you're letting it. You just follow in step and then.

You can take the lead.

But do you wish that women took the lead more, like, initiating sex? What do you guys think about that, or do you think they do?

In my experience, I'm not very good at. That's something I struggle with.

A lot of guys do.

So would you say you struggle with doubt?

Doubt, fear, anxiety? Yeah.

Side effects, Man, I'm fearful and anxious all the time.

Yeah, me too. I get it.

I don't know. I think it seems to happen a good enough amount for me. I'm not, like, wishing it was happening more.

It all depends on the lady. There are ladies out there that could do that to text me right now and be like, oh, this is great. And then there are ones that are like, I feel bad about this. So it sort of depends on the relationship you guys already have. But if she's dating this guy, then it sounds like it's going well.

Yeah. Okay, good. Men. Is any. Nothing. Okay.

No.

I was just saying earlier Though I wish they would initiate more.

Well, I feel like I hear that one of the top complaints I get asked from men is, like, why won't she initiate sex? Like, why won't my partner or anyone I'm with initiate it? Yeah, they'll give you the blowjob of the second date, but once you're in a relationship, apparently women don't. I know, I know. They don't initiate. Exactly.

Maybe guys just have to. I feel like women are so giving when we say we want something, so you say you just have. The guy almost just needs to have that first conversation.

Right.

But is it worth it when you. When you ask for and you get.

It, is it worth it? Yes, it is.

It is. Guys want to please you. And this is the thing. Guys want to please you guys. Do you. Do you want to know? She would be like, here's my vagina. Because Menace always has. The vagina is like the Rubik's Cube of life, which it kind of is. And wouldn't you be psyched if she was like, I want you to do this, this, or that? You're like, great. Got the roadmap. Awesome. You're pleased. I'm pleased. Let's, you know, watch.

You know those YouTube tutorials we took to solve the Rubik's Cube? That same guy should tell me how to fuck, Right?

Well, it's for everybody.

U R U L U L. I think it's, like an intimidating conversation to say to somebody. It is what gets you off. So there's. But there's, like, subtle ways that you can do that.

Exactly.

Like just leading people by. I mean, you're. By moaning by saying yes. More of.

Yeah, exactly. Just talk about it. And people don't talk about sex enough because they think that women and men believe that they're typically women. Because guys are a little bit simpler in the bedroom, technically. Women assume that men just know. Like, you guys were like, you know, someone gave you, like, a manual or something, or you, like, saw YouTube video. He didn't know exactly what to do. But they. I don't. And every woman's different. So even if you were a master with your ex, you're not gonna know what this guy. Woman. So it's confusing. So I think that the more that women speak up in the bedroom is important because why are you just sitting there suffering if you know that? You want a finger in your butt or something?

Yeah, I try that on literally everybody I sleep with.

I'm sure you do.

Do you?

Is it a test? I have a Guy friend who does that, he's like, it's test if she's kinky or not. Do you.

Yeah. Try it on everybody.

You stick a finger in a butt of every girl you.

Yes.

And then. So how have the results been?

Some people just pull it away and some people are into it.

Right.

And I've never had somebody be like, stop it. How dare you?

Never.

It's not like I go all in.

Closer.

You just like, rub it a little. Like you're not like.

And I usually am not even so.

So like, clearly trying to do it that they have to grab my hand. But like, if they just change their body so I'm not close to it, then I get that sense. But I also just wanted to say.

Positive reinforcement in terms over negative reinforcement. Right. So like, this guy, this. This guy might say to his girlfriend, I love when you initiate a sex date. Like, I love when you touch me like this. Not, hey, you've been doing this and it's bad.

Exactly.

You're so absolutely right. You know, you do not want to start in with the. What you're doing wrong and expensive. So I always say. Yeah. When you want to have the sex talk in relationships, which a lot of people have a hard time doing. I myself struggle with it too, which is funny. If I'm dating someone you think I would. I mean, I think I'm probably better. I'm hard on myself. But when I was learning and I still struggle, it's hard just to the first conversation, you're like, okay, so sex. I mean, because you don't want to do it in bed unless it's like a move to left. Ouch, you're hurting me. Like, you're on my, like, knee. My boob or something.

Definitely.

Speak of.

It's. You do want to be like, you know, like, I. Because I get a lot of emails from listeners who are like, well, I want to try have a threesome with my partner, or I want to try toys. What do I do? And so I think it's just great to be like, you know, our sex is so awesome. It was so great last night. That was so fun. You know, it would be. I think we'd have so much fun together if we started to talk dirty or, I'm going to dress up as a schoolgirl. Would that be fun?

Right?

Whatever. And then you just, like, compliment them. It's great. And then here's where we're. We should do this.

If a vagina is a Rubik's Cube, what is a penis? Can I recommend the ball on a paddle thing.

Yeah, it's so much easier. Jacob's ladder. Yeah, instantly.

Get it? Yeah. Penis is a. It's a ruler. Yeah. So you're using it already.

That you bang on and something squirts out of it. What?

That is the penis. We're talking about a metaphor for that.

Isn't there like a toy that and you squeeze something but then it has to ejaculate. The penis is a simple little.

It's a harmonica.

Yeah.

It's easy.

So easy.

Okay, Silly Putty.

One more question.

Okay.

Okay. Hello, my name is Jason. I'm 27. I love the show and learn so much from your talks. I have three questions.

Oh, you should. That's a lot of friends. Yeah. What's going on, dude?

Okay, we might only have time for one, but first, I want to have sex with my ex girlfriend's former roommate. I believe I can make it happen. My question is, why am I turned on by having sex with people that I'm not supposed to? For various reasons. What has your experience been in this realm? Second, dirty talk. I want to talk dirty to my partners, but I'm never quite sure what to say. And I don't want to say something like I think it's too dirty, but it's just degrading that I wouldn't normally say outside the bedroom. Lastly, interracial dating. I'm a black man who has dated mostly white women. Coast is more open to interracial dating. West coast or east coast? Thanks, Jason.

Okay, Jason, that's like a whole friggin show there. Okay, which one is the most interesting to us all? That we can answer. Ex girlfriend's former roommate.

The west coast is probably more open to interracial dating.

Nah. Yeah, but that.

We can answer that quickly. But. But what about your ex girlfriend's former. Like do you guys do that Bros or for hoes or what?

What's the dealer? What did chicks say?

Chicks for dicks.

Well, that's just. That's just. He wants the forbidden romance that has nothing to do with.

He can't get. Oh, he wants girls.

Yeah.

Because he wants that thrill of doing something different. Naughty. The chase.

Yeah.

And. And the forbidden.

I've been. I've been him many times and I think that like you just have to weigh the. Weigh the pros and the cons. Like if it will, you don't really hurt.

He makes an Excel spreadsheet of the pros and cons.

Yeah, but. Except the only pro is sex and there's never a con Right.

Well, no, sometimes you're just like, I.

Can'T quite come up with one. My penis is gonna be in her vagina in 10 minutes.

It's gonna hurt somebody. And, like, is that okay or is it not okay? There's plenty of people were like, oh, this would hurt her feelings, but I don't care that much.

Right.

And that's okay. And you can have sex because you're both single, and it doesn't sound like too intense of a relationship. My sex girlfriends. Former roommate.

Yeah.

Like, it's not even. Like, they're still roommates, but that's a.

Very tame forbidden fruit. It's not like my girlfriend.

It's my current girlfriend's sister. Then you're like, yeah, I shouldn't do that.

But then he said, I'm turned on. Yeah. Like you said, the bigger issue, having sex with people that I'm not supposed to for, like, married women. Who knows what road he's gone down. So I think that's really common because it also. It's commitment. Sometimes people think, well, this isn't gonna work anyway. It's a little crazy, and I don't really have to get intimate with this person and care. So I'm gonna go after, like, the unknown, unattainable or the dangerous. That could be another. That could be a reason.

Well, what's the psychological reasoning behind stuff? Like, even as far back as, like, the Bible, they're like, the forbiddenness of stuff is, like, so tense.

They literally call it the forbidden fruit.

The forbidden fruit, exactly. Because anytime you know, you. I mean. Well, it's also primal. Like, I just think that we've always been told that sex is wrong and shameful in so many ways, which is. I say the biggest issues people struggle with sexually is that they do have shame around it, whatever reason. Like, either they didn't perform or goes back. I looked at you because you said it. I didn't mean that you.

Even God, who wrote the Bible, thought forbidden fruit was hot.

Yeah, exactly. We've messed up, and he's fucking God. We've totally messed up.

Hegemony.

Right. God knows. And so I just think that we've always made it seem like it's the thing that. But that's what makes it exciting that we're not supposed to do it. There's shame, religion, all this stuff.

Right? Yeah.

Yeah. But it's all good. People should just, you know, take a bite of the apple. Okay, then. Dirty talk. We kind of covered this one.

Yeah.

Medicine.

I once talked dirty on the show, and you said, I went, but that was for television.

Which episode was that?

I want to make sure to never listen to it.

What the hell? We had a phone sex. We were on. We were on a reality show. It's tough.

It sounds like he wants to say things that are, like, a little degrading to me.

There's porn where people get off to.

Being like, yeah, yeah, shaming.

Yeah.

Just read women. Like Craigslist.

Some women like that, too. Oh, yeah.

Like, if I was somebody and they, like, said out of the blue, like, oh, they were, like, doing dick shaming porn to me or something like, oh, yeah, you have a tiny little dick. I would really hate that.

You would hate that. But there's some men that are into that.

There's some men that dress like babies and they want.

Exactly. They want you to pee on them. Submissive, the whole thing. Absolutely.

And if it's like that, you almost have to bring it up beforehand.

Yeah, don't. Okay, here's the thing with dirty talk. Here's the number one rule with dirty talk. Do not start out really aggressive and intense. If you've never been with this person or it's in your relationship, you got to build it. You got like, babe, that's so hot that you feel so good. Your ass is that good in my hands.

Is that or is dirty always building off?

Dirty isn't always negative, but it's not. Like, your vagina is super. I think you use other words.

You don't want to be, like, scientific.

And you want to be descriptive and you want to just kind of build up. You don't want to go in like, I want. You know, you're my bitch. You're my right, and I'm lucky because.

All my dirty talk is positive.

All right, What? Like. Like what?

You're so tight. I love fucking you. You feel good? Yeah, that's good.

That's sweet, too. See that?

No shaming, right?

No shaming.

But as you feel good, dirty talk.

Yeah. I mean, it's talking.

Here's the thing.

We. Our brains are, like, the largest sex or women get turned on, which is why we like funny guys and personalities and things. Guys are like, she's really funny, but she's not cute. I don't care if you talk to us in a way that's engaging, entertaining, you know, hence, like, text Jake or whatever. I'm sorry, I fucked that up.

No, that's right.

Like, we. That's the words turn us on. Like, they really do. And so if you could email, text, say these words to A woman. So I think positive reinforcement is great. Just we like to hear the words. Because even during sex, that's foreplay for us. That's hot. So that's what I recommend.

If your inclination though is to shame people. If you think that's hot, well then.

You got to build up to. It's totally fine. We had to build up to it though, right? But you can't be like, you're a study hard bitch and you fucked your cousin or something.

She had this chick on the show like years ago who was like hired to shame business guys.

Dynatrix.

Yeah. And she would like show up to these guys house and like pee in their mouth and like do all this crazy stuff.

Yeah.

Yeah. So.

Do you want me to give you her number?

What does she do now?

She's dominatrix. I think she's still a dominatrix. She was in my sex school with me. But I think it just. There is something for everybody. And you never. And this is actually a rule of thumb for sex across the board. No matter what you want to do, you want to stick your finger in places you know, you don't know if she's into it, he's into it.

Rule of thumb, Slow.

Get it. Just slowly escalate everything. So dirty talk can just start with describing, like, you feel so good. That's. That's the great way to start. Like you feel so hot. Like your body, whatever. And then see if she responds like getting fucked.

Don't.

Right. Exactly implies that she's a woman.

Right. She's like. Oh yeah. She's like. She's like.

And if she's like silent, you gotta read the energy. So I think that's just silly. Build up. And be descriptive. Not too descriptive right away. Okay. That's what we have time for. What else? You guys tell me what's going on. Like where we can find you and like what and like what else is going on?

Well, what's our address? 510.

You guys are having a dirty talk party.

Amira. Social.

Social Security number is 3, 6.

Jake and Amir dot com.

That's right. Jake and Amir dot com. And if I were you.

Show dot com.

Yeah. And what's your email?

Twitter.

Jake. JakeDeman84.

Add Jake in Amir. You guys are roommates and you share a Twitter account.

Actually, I just don't use Twitter. It's.

You do the tweets.

We should follow each other and start tweeting. I think I already follow you, but whatever.

What's your.

Oh, it's. Oh, I'M at Sex with Emily.

Okay.

Sex Development, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and Menace.

Just Menace. M E, N A C owns the Menace.

He's like Madonna.

That's pretty cool.

Yeah.

On all social media.

Yeah. It's the benefit of living in San Francisco.

Menace. Very early adopter.

You just call and say, hey, I want this username.

Wow, that's dude. He knows people in places that do shit. That's amazing. And then text jake.com. you guys are awesome. Thank you so much for being here.

Thanks for having us.

Thank you man. Always good to see you. And thanks everyone for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com.

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