Best Of: Sex Positions Made Easy

And then the top simultaneously stands and lifts their partner up by the thighs or the waist so their bottom can wrap their legs around the top's back.

To me, it sounds like a wheelbarrow race.

It's a wheelbarrow. Exactly.

Yeah. If you're getting in the position to do a wheelbarrow race, but instead you're naked and start getting penetrated.

Exactly. You're listening to Sex with Emily. I'm Dr. Emily and I'm here to help you prioritize your pleas and liberate the conversation around sex. Listen, you shouldn't have to be an Olympic gymnast to have sex, but let's be honest, certain positions can be hard. So inspired by the Positions chapter in my new book, Smart Sex, I'm bringing back this best of episode. You'll hear quick tips to make ambitious moves easier and classic moves more exciting. First, I share the most searched sex positions in the country. Can you guess America's favorite sex move? Next, we look at the much hyped Reverse Cowgirl. I give suggestions to make it feel as good and sexy as it looks. As for oral, I talk you through the Kivin Method, which stimulates vulva owners K points and how to make 69 more relaxing. Finally, don't go to the emergency room from Shower Sex. Just listen to my tips to keep it steamy and stable. Intentions With Emily for each episode, I want to start off by setting an intention for the show and I encourage you all to do the same. My intention is to help you feel more creative and confident in bed with tweaks that increase pleasure and help you become a better collaborator. Please rate and review Sex With Emily wherever you listen to the show. My new articles how to Talk Like a Dom for Better Sex and Moms Deserve Pleasure Too A Sexy Self Care Guide are up on sexwithemily.com check out my YouTube channel, social media and TikTok. It's all sex with Emily for more sex tips and advice. And if you want to ask me questions, leave me your questions or Message me at sex with emily.com Ask Emily or call my hotline 559 Talk Sex or or 559-825-5739. Always include your name, your age, where you live, and how you listen to the show. And you can change your name or choose to remain anonymous. All right, big announcement. I just released dates for my upcoming book tour. Tickets are on sale now and we're doing live events in New York, San Francisco, and virtually via crowdcast so I can talk to all of you. You guys, I Cannot wait to finally meet you all face to face. I haven't done this ever. Really? We're gonna be doing photo ops, a discussion panel, and live Q and A's to answer your sex questions. We get to do it live. How fun is that? And when you buy a ticket, you'll automatically get a copy of my new book, Smart Sex. And don't forget, if this episode speaks to you, I've got a whole chapter on positions in my book. With illustrations, the pros, the cons, and ways to elevate each one. Lastly, this episode is brought to you by Promescent. When you're trying new things in the bedroom, including new positions, the last thing you want to do is stress out about your performance. Am I right? Well, delay spray helps penis owners last up to 64% longer in bed. All you do, you spray it on 10 to 15 minutes before play. It lasts up to an hour, which means your partner's orgasms will increase by 50%. Especially if you're with a vulva owner. And speaking of vulva owners, they also have a warming arousal gel. It boosts blood flow to the clitoris for greater arousal. And you get this like tingling, buzzing and warming sensations. Plus, it's paraben and hormone free. And basically, with their arousal gel and their delay spray, they are closing the orgasm gap from both sides. Sides, you can get 15% off your order if you go to promescent.com Emily that's P R O M E S C N T.com Emily for 15% off or just click the link in our show notes. All right everyone, enjoy this episode.

Stop what you're doing and listen closely because Bellesa and I are giving away free spicy toys or gift cards to every single one of you. That's right, everyone who signs up wins something. And if you you haven't heard of Bellesa, let me put you on. They're a bywoman for everyone company that's completely flipping the script on sexual wellness. And now they're hooking you up. You've definitely seen Bellesa's viral toys all over your for you page. Like the rose, it blew up for a reason. This little flower shaped suction toy is iconic. Or their famous whisper collection. You know the first fully ever silent vibrators. If you live with roommates, parents, or even if your partner is sleeping right next to you, these toys are silent without compromising power. Or their new pebble pro. They just one up their best selling pebble with a stronger, smart, harder and seriously spicy redesign. Bellesa somehow figured out how to engineer a one stop pleasure shop with three interchangeable heads. It sucks. It humps. It licks. It vibrates. I'm speechless. And of course, I had to hook all of you up. So my friends at Bellesa are sending out free toys or gift cards for toys to everyone who signs up. You heard that, right. Every single one of you wins something. Just click the link in the episode description or head to bbvibes.com Emily that's B B V I B E S.

I have a great show for you today because a lot of you email us about sex positions. You want to know how to do them, how to troubleshoot positions, how to mix up the positions that you've been doing over and over and over again. So I'm here to help. I'm just going to give you some advice on how you can master even the most challenging and fun positions. Because let's be honest, no one wants to be too challenging. We're always going to make it fun for you. I'm going to make it sexy and then make it pleasurable. And even if there's some positions that are intimidating to try or you've just been nervous to try a new one, I'm going to give you some confidence so you can rock all of them. So I started by looking at the most frequently searched sex position trends. What do you think is the most popular searched position? It's reverse cowgirl. A lot of you searching reverse cowgirl and ask me about reverse cowgirl. So when you look at it by state, because we can also see who's searching by state, we all know what you're all Googling here. By state. Californians are most interested in Cliff Diver, which we'll get into. And in Texas, they prefer the pretzel position. I asked you guys on social how I could help you. Like, what do you want to know in this episode? We asked on Instagram. This is my favorite responses. Reverse cowgirl. Another part. One of you said, I feel like my rhythm is off when I ride. It's so hard to know if I'm pleasing him. Let me just take a beat here. Are you pleasing yourself? I promise you, the more that you learn to please yourself, that's going to feel really good to your partner. And if it doesn't, they'll let you know. Okay. It's not so much about pleasing them as it is about pleasing yourself. Doggy style. Doggy style. Everyone's always got questions about doggy style because it's not just one thing. We think we gotta, like, get on all fours and like, bark like a dog. But there are some variations to it. 69. Yeah, I get it. 69 is one of those, too. There's some good variations on 69 that we're gonna get into. Standing in the shower. Standing. Shower sex. A lot of shower sex questions. We're gonna get into that. This episode. And some of you find against the Wall quite challenging. I can see that you have to hold your partner up and maybe thrust or whatever you're doing in those positions. That can be challenging. Cuddling. Cuddling is a challenge, too, if you're not into touch. I get it. Cuddling can be hard. Let's get into reverse cowgirl. I brought in my content manager, Amanda, so I'd love you to join me here. And let's talk about some of these positions. We can share our experiences. You can help me explain some of them because I get that positions can be tricky sometimes in hearing them, thinking, wait, what am I doing with my left leg, my right leg? So I just want you to know that we will have a guide that you can check out with our link here, the show notes, and on our website, a blog that's going to follow along so you can actually look up what we're talking about. Hi.

Yes. So the first one on this list is reverse cowgirl. And I know that this is one that causes people a lot of difficulty, despite how popular it is. It's a twist on Crowdgirl where the penetrating partner lies down and the receiving partner climbs on top. But in this case, the receiving partner is turned backwards, and it makes it very fun. It provides a great view of the booty. The penetrating partner can place their hands on their partner's hips. It works for vulva or anal play. And the receiving partner can set the rhythm. So that's, I think, what the person who wrote in mentioned. They didn't know how to control the rhythm, which I think, from personal experience, I think is definitely a problem with reverse cowgirls.

Yeah, it can be confusing. So just picture this. You are. Think about. We all know cowgirl. You're facing your partner, but this way you just twist around so you're facing their feet. It can be hard, though, because you have to be able to prop yourself up a little bit to move if your head's back on their chest. Right. Like, it's hard to do this one when you're sitting up. You're not bouncing up and down, you're leaning back. That's. I just want everyone to get a picture of it. But it can be hard to get the rhythm. There's a lot, lot to think about. So how do we rock this, Amanda? What do we do?

I love what you said earlier about focus on pleasing you, because I think if you're on top, I do in personal experience know I constantly thought about my partner because they were always the one who wanted to do reverse cowgirl. But thinking about how you can make it better for you, whether that's maybe bringing in a toy, now I really want to try that. I also bet doing it in front of a mirror would be really fun because then the person on top gets to participate in the visual fun of it all.

Yes. I love this. I like that adding a toy, paying attention to what actually feels good to you is important. I love the idea of the mirror because the mirror is hot. We don't talk about that enough. There have been studies around this that have shown that when you look at yourself in the mirrors, particularly vulva owners, it's a really big turn on for us. I've done this. I do this often, and I can concur. That's my experience. But you can also see what you're doing in this position too, and perhaps help you position yourself better by, you know, like in yoga class, you're like, are my legs out? Are my hands down in the right position? It can be twofold, definitely.

The other nice thing I think about doing reverse cowgirl and doggy style, which I think we'll talk about too, in front of a mirror, is you can make eye contact with your partner through the mirror or see how they're enjoying it. Because with these, we're not facing each other positions. You don't get the intimacy of something like missionary, but if you have a mirror, you can still get that intimacy.

Yes. That's a great, such a great point. Because sometimes it can feel a little lonely in those positions. Even though someone's pounding you from behind, you're like, am I alone? There's no eye. There's no intimacy. Are they just looking at my ass? If you have those thoughts, do the mirror trick. I love it. And add a toy, because you might not be getting the clitoral stimulation, no matter what kind of rhythm you get. But it is important, though, that if you're the partner on top, that the receiving partners are not controlling the rhythm. Like, that's why reverse cowgirl can feel so, so new, so fresh. Because it's a position that works best if one person is setting the pace. You're in charge if you're on top. And if you're both feeling comfortable, then you can kind of. Your partner on the bottom can kind of start to join. But that's the fun part, is that you are free here to move about the cabin, move about the. The bed. And. And you know what this made me think of, too? That a lot of people that email us DM us with questions are like, I'm nervous. I don't get it. And what I thought about is we don't actually give ourselves enough time to get comfortable in positions. It's like, again, going back to yoga class, you don't just go right into, like, pigeon pose. For example, when you put your knee down, you're stretching your hip, you take a moment, you adjust, you look behind, you make sure your leg's straight. There's all these little things that you do. But with sex, we figure it has to be like this perfect glide into the perfect position that to be worked into our sex routine, that I'm going to take some time to make sure that I'm comfortable. Give yourself a beat.

Exactly. And the more you practice it, the more you can discover how it works for you. I recently learned that instead of sitting in reverse cowgirl, you can get on your knees, and I've better shrink that way. I haven't been to the gym in, like, two years, so I have to get on my knees if I'm doing reverse cowgirl. Otherwise it's too difficult. So instead of sitting down basically on their lap, you're kneeling and kneeling on their lap. And then you can, like, put your hands forward, maybe around their ankles or between their legs. And then use that to sort of brace yourself and give a little bit more movement, if that makes sense.

Yeah, it does. I like the idea. Yeah. Not only trying it on the bed, but doing it on a chair or the edge of the bed. Right. This could be interesting.

Oh, I love that.

If you're sitting on your. At the edge of the bed, you sort of have more leverage.

Yes. The penetrating partner can sit down with their feet touching the floor, while then the receiving partner sits on their lap and faces forward. That sounds nice. Yeah, I'll try that.

That's that one. Oh, y', all, this is your weekend plans. Okay. We got an email here. This is from Alicia, 26, in Scotland. Hey, Dr. Emily. Me and my fiance have been together for five years. Our sex life is great. We've started experimenting more, and it's helped our sexual relationship a lot. But recently we tried the cowgirl position. I find it difficult to do, and it makes me feel like I'M bad at sex as I'm very inexperienced in this position. He's very reassuring, and I want to keep trying it because I want to pleasure him this way. But I can't help but feel bad about myself when he slips out. Am I doing something wrong? Is there any advice that you can give that might help with maneuvers? All right. Slippage is real. Slippage does happen during cowgirl. And just so you know, cowgirl is sort of the same as, like, woman on top as we call it, but we should just call it person on top. What are some of the new ways? What are we calling this now, Amanda?

Person on top sounds good.

Person on top. I like the person on top. Okay, so let's talk about slippage for a minute. Believe it or not, it has nothing to do with size necessarily. It's not anyone's fault. Sometimes size is not even the reason. So it can just be the position we're in. Maybe we think we have to be going up and down or we are leaning too far back, and sometimes maybe we're going too fast. And I feel with this position, again, it's a great one to get in, get comfortable, and figure out what. What actually feels good. When you can feel your partner the most and when you can get the most leverage and angle rubbing on your partner's chest, like with your vulva. So, meaning, like, if you, if your partner's inside of you sometimes it could help to lean forward and try to create like a 90 degree angle. And then if you can move back and forth slowly and making sure that he's still inside of you. And again, this is not like an up and down motion. It's more of a back and forth or grinding slow. I think I used to make the mistake of going really fast in this position, thinking it was a really fast position. But for me personally, I realized that I really had to make that connection of rubbing on my partner's, like, chest. And it's a back and forth that also would have been. That would prevent some slippage. I also don't think it means the moments ruined because you could put it back in.

Yeah, you're definitely not alone, Alicia, because I think slippage happens all the time. And the best advice, Emily, I remember you gave about slippage is just to embrace the awkward moments of sex, because they'll happen. And you and your partner have been together for five years, so it might happen again. And I think once. This is what's helped me. Once you realize that it happens and that it's nothing to be Embarrassed about you feel better about it. You're not doing anything wrong.

Exactly, yes. You guys remember, it doesn't mean sex is not perfect. That's why we people, we posted on Instagram last week, sex is messy. And you guys all love that because you got it. It's messy.

Sex is messy.

You're asking really good questions. So thank you, Alicia. All right, so position number two. This is an oral sex, okay? So this is about positions that can help spice up your oral sex, how you're already doing it. Because we do hear from a lot of you that are just uncomfortable with the positions you're doing with oral or you want to try something different. I really want to give you guys a different. A detailed explanation of the Kivin method. I know I talked about this recently and I was just sort of blowing past it in an episode, but I want to give you specific instructions here, so you can also now refer to it in the show notes and on our blog, the Kiven Method. If you don't know. I can't talk about this enough that I probably first mentioned it on the show about five, six years ago. And we have never received so much interest, so many emails, so many follow up questions. It was like, it was crazy. It was. I've never seen anything like it in all these years. Because it works. It's a method that is differs from traditional oral sex and it's about going down in a vulva and it just allows you to access more nerve endings. It's just a different take on it and it's genius. So many questions. When you. So many comments saying, oh my God, my partner finally had great orgasms this way or had multiple orgasms or it was just crazy. Oh my God. Thank you. Thank you. So I'm gonna right now gotta check out the video of this because I am going to use my vulva puppet because I think I can make this a little bit more understanding to all of you if I actually show you how it's done. Okay, so what happens is the giver who's giving oral sex is lying perpendicular to their partner, meaning that you're at a 90 degree angle.

So you're sort of making a capital T with their body. So your partner's lying flat on their back and you are coming in perpendicular. Okay? So instead of looking upward like between your partner's legs and looking up at their clitoris, you're looking at it sideways. You can experiment with which side you approach from because a lot of clitoris are sensitive on different sides. Think about the whole Vulva, Think about the labia. Think about the clitoris. You're going to be moving, like, thigh to thigh instead of. Instead of up and down from, like, knee to head, right? That's the movement, okay? That back and forth, perpendicular. You can choose what works best for you in this position. But if your vulva owner that you're performing on likes to have their legs more widely spread for, you know, stimulation, they could pull their legs further apart. Some people want their legs closer together because the sensation of the labia and massaging the sides of the clitoris can be a lot more sensitive that way. So just figure out what position feels good to you. You get to play with this position a little bit.

The key thing that I feel, like you said, is to lie perpendicular. That really helped me visualize it when you first taught it. So like you said, it can depend on the person's personal comfort. There might be some experiment, experimenting, getting into position. And you can use your hands. But the key is one person's laying down and the other person's laying perpendicular. So if you were to look at a bird's eye view, it's a T. And then you can.

I'm gonna get a dog. I'm gonna get one of my dog's toys. So it becomes. It's a lobster, but it's gonna be like a person. So hold on one second.

Love it.

This is amazing. So this is what you have to know. You're covering more surface area, right? So normally you'd be like this, right? The lamb would be like, oh, like, that feels so good. And she's like, oh, that's my clitoral hood. Look at going back here. So what happens is you're covering more surf. Cause you're going labia, clitoris, labia, inner, outer labia, back and forth and back and forth. And you're hitting all these nerve endings. And it's just this incredible sensation that you just don't. You kind of miss it in another when you're doing a different kind of angle. So with your hand. Also, here's some other. Some hand positions that are important to talk about here, too. Your hands with. You could think about it this way. With your left hand, you can place your index finger and thumb on either side of the clitoris to kind of help it raise it up and help it get in place while you lick. But see what your partner likes. And just remember here, the clitoral hood. For some people, they have a bigger clitoral hood. Some people don't have a clitoral hood. But usually when you get aroused, the clitoral hood, if you have one, kind of peels back. So you just want to make sure that the clitoris is up and happy. Some people think that once the clitoris is aroused, they can find, like, feel two small bumps on either side of the clitoris hood, which kind of can feel like little grains of rice. These are called K points, actually. So if you're able to feel them, you can sweep your tongue over the clitor hood in between these two points. But I don't want to get too technical now, right? So just remember that the clitoral tissue swells when it becomes aroused. Just like the penis, it's erectile tissue. So just get curious at first and just go slow. And everyone's genitals are different. And if you can't find any of these points, it doesn't really matter. But just remember that the clitoris is going to start to swell. And when it swells, I also want to remind you that it's not just about clitoris that you can see, but this is the clitoral legs. This goes behind the clitoris. So when you're doing that, all of these areas inside these, the clitoris has legs those are also becoming aroused. So remember that. Check in with your partner. Play with your hands. You might just want to be using, you know, your mouth, but you could just kind of be playing and you could be massaging the labia and just get into the right position. And then you want to start licking. So you're licking horizontally in this position instead of the up and down. So you go like across the hood and like a gentle motion, you know, kind of like you think about, like how you'd eat an ice cream cone, right? Going back and forth. And you want to try different variants with your tongue and pay attention. This is always the case. No matter what position you're doing that, you want to pay attention to what your partner is responding to and what they like. And I see that they'll pretty quickly they're going to tell you, right? They're going to know.

I like what you said about tongue movements like licking an ice cream cone, but I bet you could also try circles or flicking. And if you're the one receiving, if you have a particular thing, tell your partner. Or you might discover you have a particular thing and you can tell them.

This is what kind of made this such a popular position, is that people discovered a lot in this position. They discovered, you know, I always sing on the show, discover your rotten stones. There's so many different nerve endings everywhere. Play with it. That's what I'm hoping this episode does for a lot of you. It's just new, fun things to explore. Listen to this, you know, episode with your partner and be like, you know, pull up the blog and use it as a guide. Because remember, when couples engage in new activities together, like even trying a new sex position, a new oral position, it's going to enhance intimacy and bond you in a way that you're both out for this same mission and this new goal here. So I think that that is such a fun thing to play with. Now, you could also. Some other thing you could do is, well, one of your hands is, you know, maybe teasing the clitoris. You could also put some pressure on the perineum. Sometimes known as the taint is that area in between the anus and the vaginal opening. Sometimes you can just ply a finger there in that area and just see how it feels. Gently massage the outside of the perineum, applying pressure. You can move towards the anus and just move in circles outside of it and just see what works best for your partner. All right, let's talk about face sitting, because I don't think face sitting is talked about nearly enough. This position, by the way, side note, popular in Washington, D.C. iowa, those two. The state. Those two states. There's a lot of face sitting going on. Okay. So on the DMs, we got an Instagram, someone said, I really want to do face sitting, but I'm bigger and afraid of hurting my partner. Any tips? So we did a great story about this too. Right, Amanda? We talked about this on Instagram once.

But, yes, your big advice I remember that was really helpful was think of it as face kneeling. I remember you told me that, and it changed everything.

Face kneeling, you're not actually just sitting like you're leaning back on a chair and getting comfortable on their face. Like, that doesn't sound good to anybody. Yeah, think. Give it his face kneeling. So you get to kneel on your. You get to kneel on your. Your knee so you still have support and maybe your hands are on either side of you. And I think that this position can be really hot, not only for the. The receiver, but the giver. And, you know, some people get off that this is like the person's throne, and it can be very empowering. You know, you're kind of like the queen, and this is your throne and your partner's, you know, pleasing you. There can be a bit of adjustment, though, to find the Angles. So just make sure, again, that setup is comfortable. Be kneeling and position yourself over your partner by, like, straddling their chest with your knees, and then scoot forward to your own plate. So that's the kneeling part. You're, like, squeezing in on their chest, and then you're scooting forward.

Another tip I remember you offered Emily was to use utilize the headboard or utilize the wall as an added support.

Absolutely. You want extra support, you distribute. Because this way, I love having a headboard, because then you could use it for extra support. And you could distribute your weight with your legs and your knees, your arms. And then also, like, leaning into other parts of your body can help you distribute part of the weight. Just go slow and get and have fun with it. And just remember this. If you are on top and you are the one doing the sitting or the kneeling, that you are in control. Like, you're in control of this position. You have control over your pleasure, and you get to, like, move around a way that feels good to you. This is all about your pleasure. And especially if you're someone who's used to being more of a submissive in the relationship or sexually, it's a great way to kind of unleash your inner dominant side, because you are dominant in this position. And I think everyone's got to try this once for sure. And this is for all genders. Obviously, if you have a penis, you can face it.

Oh, yeah.

I'm like, right. It's like we're talking about vulvas, but I feel like it's a little bit different. But just don't be like, you want to still go slow and make sure you're not, like, choking your part or anything. But this position, I think, is hot all around, especially if you take turns.

Yeah. It almost dips into a little bit of consensual objectification, which I think can be really fun if, obviously, both partners are down and willing to experiment. But if you're the sort of person who exerts a lot of control in your life, whether it's through work or through your family, and you get the break to have somebody else exert control over you by sitting on your face, regardless of your gender, that can be really fun. And a great release really is.

It's a great.

You're right.

Power play. Power shift. Absolutely.

I also love what you said about how if the person on top is worried about applying too much pressure or hurting their partner, the partner on the bottom can still be the sort of one in control. Like, the person on top can stay still, their hands on the headboard, and then the person on the bottom can be the one to control it. So you can kind of play with both.

You can play with it. That's true. You can't switch in that position. You can just kind of say, okay, now my position. Now you move around beneath me. You won't really know until you try it. After the break, we get into everyone's favorite number, 69, and variations on it to make it easier for everyone involved.

Okay, 69 position. It's popular in these states. Pennsylvania.

I wonder why.

I don't know why Pennsylvania. Okay, if you live in Pennsylvania, tell us why. Is this true? Is this accurate? So from Instagram, we got the question. I hate 69. My partner loves it. Ideas to make it more fun. Listen, I think that 69 personally is not one of my favorites because I'm ADD and I feel like I either want to be giving or receiving, and I don't want to do both. I'm just gonna say that's just for me. And in porn, they always make it look really effortless. They're always in these super orgasmic positions. But I know that this is not everyone agrees with me. Some people love it. And I actually have found ways to work with this position. So I actually really do like it. But at first glance, I'm never, like, dying to do 69, but it's because it is a multitasking thing. So essentially, though, to explain it, it's when you and your partner are giving each other oral at the same time. But there are some hacks to make 69 more pleasurable and make it more memorable, for sure. So look at why 69 isn't working for you. I mean, maybe you're just physically uncomfortable with the position. Maybe you're propped up on your elbows or your mouth is getting tired, or you're just not a big multitasker. And maybe it's all three. I think that I used to think that it had to be like, someone's on top and someone's on the bottom. But number one tip is to lay side by side. So I think the physical mobility of it is what can make it really difficult. So, like, being backwards and on top of your partner can feel like a Twister game. But again, think about lying on your sides. So then you're both accessing each other's genitals with more ease, and then you can spend more time making each other feel great. You know, you're lying next to your partner of the bed, and then you are, you know, flipping it around and you're doing some teasing, and then you, you know, start just. You can use your mouth, you can use toys, you know, you can use your hands. It doesn't just have to be oral. It's essentially at the same time, both of you are having your genitalia, whatever you have down there, stimulated. And it's fun when you think about it, that you're both getting off. It's not like you have to give and then wait to get yours. You're doing it at the same time. So if you are feeling, like overwhelmed with the oral aspects of it. I mentioned something I did with a previous partner, which really worked because I did not want to be. I love receiving oral, but I wasn't so into giving oral. When I was really into receiving it. I just. It was challenged. So we invented the. We call it the handy dandy, which was essentially me giving my partner a hand job instead of using my mouth during 69. And he loved it. I had a lot of lube in my hands, and it was definitely a win win for both partners. And it felt amazing. Toys. There's also some great toys. You can experiment with these positions, like a bullet or vibrators or a stroker. There's so many great toys that are excellent. They have a penis ring, you know, and it gives your hands and mouth a break because they can get tired of this position. Yeah. Amanda, what about you? What do you think about the 69 situation?

This was a position that I did not understand the hype for so many years. I just didn't get it at all. But I do think that once I released the idea of making it perfect, like going as all out as my partner was, it helped a lot. So I think the idea of you don't have to go all out, 50, 50, if you can tap each other out, take turns, just be. It's a give and take. But that doesn't mean that both of you are going 100% all at once. Like, your partner can focus on you, and then you get to enjoy it a little bit, and then maybe you return the favor and it becomes almost like you're edging each other. Like edging 69. I think that's a fun way to look at it.

I love it. Explain edging.

So edging is when I learned this from you, is when you delay. You purposely delay your orgasm so you can feel it start to come. You can feel the builds rising and rising, but then you stop the stimulation or you have your partner stop the stimulation. So you're either teasing yourself or teasing your partner. And it's like delaying gratification. So, like, the more you wait to have the cake, the better it's going to taste.

Exactly. Delaying gratification. Can't be hotter to play with, for sure. Okay. And remember, with any of these positions, I invite you to have your toys nearby. You know, I can't think of any of these that wouldn't be a little bit enhanced and spiced up with a toy magic wand. You can always have that on hand. Now, let's talk real quick about the Cliff Diver and the pretzel. So think of the Cliff Diver. It's like doggy style. So the bottom gets on all fours on the ground, and then the top gets behind the bottom. And with proper lubrication, of course, and protection, they'll enter the bottom. And then the top simultaneously stands and lifts their partner up by the thighs or the waist so their bottom can wrap their legs around the top's back.

To me, it sounds like a wheelbarrow race.

It's a wheelbarrow. Exactly. Yeah.

If you're getting in the position to do a wheelbarrow race, but instead you're naked and start getting penetrated.

Exactly. Okay, the pretzel. So this one, the person being penetrated. So on the bottom, they lie down on their side. And then the top person doing the penetrating holds up the partner's top leg and then straddles the bottom leg. The top then scoots closer in order to penetrate.

This sounds like scissoring. Exactly this, Yeah. I feel like if there wasn't any penetration going on, it would be scissoring.

Yeah. Yes. It's a little bit of scissoring. So again, check out the images on the site. Check out our blog. We were going to help you all move through these positions. Shower Sex is our last one. We get a lot of DMS about how do people actually have sex in the shower? I feel like it's such a struggle. I get it. Shower sex is also one of those things that you can be completely overrated because you're like, well, it's slippery and I can hit my head and you hear all these, like, sex sent me to the ER stories because you can be difficult to execute. But it can be great because if you've got roommates or kids, you can get a lot done in the shower and it can be really hot. So here's some ways to master shower sex. You have to find the proper position, which means, like, you gotta find the right spot. You don't want to stand in the slipperiest area. So try like a bend over position. So this is when the receiving partner, you're standing in front of the other partner, but you bend over and you put your hands on your shins for support. So you are holding yourself and you are steady. This way you like, can't be toppled over. And then the other partner can use their penis or a strap on to enter it doggy style. And so the person in front might be able to put their hands on the wall, which can help with balance. But just make sure the floor is not too slippery or you have a mat in the shower, you know, that can absolutely help with balance. And it's also a good time to play with oral and hand play. If you're using hands, start with some masturbation. Then you can stop for some oral sex. And remember that you have to use lube in the shower. I know you think that you're wet already from the water, but the water actually can wash away your natural lubrication. So it's important to have some lube in the shower. And silicone lube lasts a lot longer than water based. But if you're doing oral, you can have some flavored lube. We like that too.

Removable shower heads. Those are always fun.

Yes. Remember, a lot of vulva owners had their first orgasms that way. And if you haven't, maybe you will have your first time having an orgasm with the showerhead. So that's really fun. Remember, you've got a sex toy right there in your shower.

If the shower is small or you find it hard to do any sort of penetrative sex in the shower, I think it can be a really good place to play with hand stuff and oral. And then if you want to have penetrative sex, you can do that outside the shower. So make it a twofer. Do some stuff in the shower and then continue the session outside in your room. And that's pretty hot too.

Yes, that is hot. That's the thing. It could just be about the foreplay. You don't have to go right into penetration in the shower. And for a lot of you who email in and talk about hygiene or I just want to make sure that we're both clean and how do I get my partner to shower? Just take a shower beforehand. It's great foreplay, it's a great warmup. And remember toys in the shower, A lot of toys are waterproof right now or water resistant. And you can leave them in the shower, which is what I do. I have Some toys in the shower that are just always charged and ready to go. Because I like to masturbate in the shower. Because I like to multitask sometimes in the morning when I don't have a lot of time.

Emily, have you ever had a shower sex injury?

I don't think so. Have you?

I haven't, but I've been with people who have hit their head on a shower head, and we didn't realize that he was bleeding until, like. Like, I started getting covered in blood.

Oh, no.

Yeah, that's. I was like, what happened? Why are we bleeding? Did somebody get a bloody nose? But it was because somebody hit their head on the shower head. So be careful if you're tall.

This is what. This is it. This is why people are afraid of it. I think it happens all the time. Oh, my God. Well, you're like, that's. Wait, was there three of you in the shower?

No, there was only two.

Okay. I thought you said, like, one of us, so it sounded like there was, like a. A3 situation happening.

That would have been fun.

Well, next time, add it to the bucket list. Just remember, you guys, stay safe in the shower. I do like silicone lube, like I said, because it increases wetness and it amplifies pleasure and it lasts longer. But just remember that if you spill lube on the floor in the shower, that shower sex is slippery enough, and it might even get more slippery. So be safe and have fun in the shower. Have fun with all of these moves. And remember to check out our blogs and check out the we'll put this in the show notes. Right, Amanda? So everyone can check out the positions.

Oh, yeah. They can look through, get more details and make it their project for the next few days.

Yeah, exactly. We wanted to give you some tips for the week. You want to spice it up? You want to try something new? These are the positions to do it in. Let us know how it goes. Thanks, Amanda.

Thank you.

That's it for today's episode. See you on Tuesday. Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Be sure to, like, subscribe and give us a review. Wherever you listen to the podcast and share this with a friend or partner, you can find me on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. Sex with Emily. Oh, I've been told I give really good email, so sign up@sexwithemily.com and while you're there, check out my free guides and articles for more ways to to prioritize your pleasure. If you'd like to ask me about your sex life, dating, or relationships, call my hotline 559-TalkSex. That's 559-825-5739 or go to sexwithemily.com askemily Special thanks to Acast for powering the Sex with Emily podcast. Was it good for you? Email me feedbacksexwithemily.com Foreign.

There's one overlooked mineral behind better sleep sharper focus, stronger muscles and a healthier heart. And at least half of us aren't getting enough. Most people don't realize they're running low on one of the most vital minerals for human health. Magnesium. And here's the thing. No single form of magnesium can deliver all of its benefits. That's exactly why Qualia Magnesium plus was created with 10 highly bioavailable forms of magnesium plus over 70 essential minerals. It provides total magnesium support, helping you sleep better, think clearer, move stronger and feel your best every day. And honestly, when you're less stressed and more energized, your intimacy and desire naturally benefit too. Sure, magnesium can help you sleep, but Qualia Magnesium plus goes beyond that. It's a whole body nourishment for how you think, move, connect and feel. More than just a sleep supplement. It's a foundation for daily well being which absolutely supports a healthier sex life life. Getting enough magnesium from food alone is harder than ever due to depleted soils and chronic stress and our body's reduced ability to absorb it as we age well. Qualia's Magnesium plus formula is non gmo, vegan, gluten free and designed so all the ingredients work together for comprehensive magnesium support. And personally, I've been taking Qualia Magnesium plus in the evenings and I really notice calmer nights and clear mornings and just feeling more grounded in my body, which is which always makes intimacy feel more accessible and enjoyable. It's become such an easy part of my nightly routine. Experience the most trusted magnesium for your purity, potency and performance. Go to qualialife.comsexwithemily for 50% off. And here's a bonus use the code Sex with Emily for an additional 15 off your order. That's Q-U A L I A life.com sexwithemily thanks for Qualia for sponsoring this episode.