Best Of: Sexy, Not Sorry with Moxi Cox

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Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them, in a bygone day. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken.

He thinks you're kind of cute. A girl's gotta have her standards. Oh, my.

Do women know about shrink?

Like common knowledge? What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me?

Oh, my God, I feel so good being Bad.

Feels pretty good.

You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com where you can check out all of our podcasts, Sign up for our mailing list, follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. All that good stuff. Because we do a lot of goddamn podcasts and a lot of good things so you can have better safety.

I know. How many podcasts are you up to, though, nowadays?

Like, I lost touch. I lost count after, like, 2000. It must be like.

But how many are you putting out a month?

Oh, I put out two a week, so eight a month.

Awesome.

Yeah.

I ran into a Sex with Emily listener just recently, and he listens to all of them, and he loves that you always have fresh content. Because a lot of people that podcast, they may be only put one out a month or something like that. You gotta wait.

And we. And you know the thing about it.

You'Re just pumping them out.

I've never stopped. And I owe this to you, Menace. A lot of it. Is that so. When I started Moxie, I was just doing a podcast, you know, in my living room, just as a hobby, 10 years ago. And then I. Like, which never happens. I got a live radio show on CBS Radio where Menace was just a little person there.

Little man helped her to understand the fundamentals of the radio.

He was working the board, and he was sleeping at the radio station at the time. But we started out that way, which is pretty awesome. How we met.

I made sure we kept our license.

Because, yeah, I almost lost it because you can't swear on the radio. Apparently you can't see my masturbation. But the best thing is, even when the station went out of business and I didn't have a live show, I was like, I gotta keep doing it, Menace. Through thick and through thin. We've always, like, every week turned out at least one or two podcasts.

Even when you guys were. You were in LA and Menace was.

Yeah, we would do it with my little. My little crappy device. You'd be like, putting it, like, we tried. And then for me. But he won't admit it, but he did. Yeah.

When she was in. She was in Los Angeles, I was in San Francisco. I'm like, all right, how can we still do the radio show together? So what we would do, we would hit record on. She would hit record in LA on a system.

I'd be sitting in a Closet. Because there's bad sound in my house.

And I would hit record in San Francisco and then we would talk to each other over cell phones with earbuds. And then I would match up the audio where it sound like we're in the studio together. That's a cheap way of doing it, people.

The real way of a fancy studio.

Thousands of dollars.

Yeah, but it was good. What I'm saying is we've always kept the band together.

Yeah, but the listeners have always been super loyal, so that's cool. So thank you people for downloading.

They have. Thank you.

But this is all you. This is your show. I'm just here wondering that you have.

I don't know that many minions, but. But I also want to say that I just want to thank everyone too, because this last month it's been crazy. We've had so many even more listeners and downloads and we've been hearing from just people across the board. Maybe it's because you've been talking about a lot and now we've got moxie on.

I know.

Now it's gonna change the whole like the whole thing's gonna go friggin crazy.

You had to pull me down from San Francisco too.

I know.

When did you get here from San Francisco?

I've been here just a year and a half. I was in LA and then I moved to San Francisco for a year and then I came back to la.

Why did you leave San Francisco? Too cold. Not enough cool people.

Not enough cool people.

Yeah, I know.

And cute. Yeah. Not enough guys.

I didn't know that. So I moved here. Everyone's like. Everyone there's ugly. Which is such a bad thing because I don't think that's true. But people make those jokes.

I mean, if you're a 7, you can go to. You can go to San Francisco and be a 10.

But now we used to joke, my friends, like sevens, think they're tens.

I'm like, no, it's true.

Am I not really a 10?

People have like crappy attitudes.

It's true. I agree 100%.

I'm glad we're all here now.

So we're all together in one room.

I know. I love it.

San Francisco is a beautiful city. The only thing that makes it crappy is a lot of people inside of it. And it's a lot of people that are not actually even.

No, no.

Not from anywhere.

Well, I was born and raised. Well, you're like the only area I know. But I'm just saying. And I think that's what Also gives LA a bad rap, too. There's a lot of people that come from, you know, some random town where they were like, a nerd or something.

Yeah.

Or they come here and then they reinvent themselves and become a complete douche and give a city a bad name. And I think that's what happens in San Francisco a lot too.

Yeah. It happens everywhere.

But you can still find cool people.

You can find cool people. And I'm starting. I mean, it's been three years I've been here now. Can you believe? But I feel like, how many people.

Have you slept with since you've been here?

Oh, geez.

How much? You know? Not as many as you'd think.

Yeah.

Do I really have to answer that question? I don't answer questions like that.

I feel like I went through a huge dry spell when I moved to San Francisco. There was a period of time where I was like, I don't have a reg. Fuck buddy. I haven't slept with anyone in two months. Which is a huge deal for me.

Yeah.

And then I moved back to Los Angeles and it was like, wham, bam, thank you, man. Right. Back on track.

How do you meet guys?

Was it guys being. Because they're. They're pusses in San Francisco. Right. They're not aggressive at all.

I don't know what it was to say that.

Like, check your balls at the Golden Gate.

Yeah, exactly. A lot of mommy issues in San Francisco. A lot of negative reactions to any, like, female being aggressive or, like, sexual in any way.

Right.

And I used. Did a lot of online dating. Tinder, OkCupid to meet guys and girls. And it was. There was some bad experiences.

So when you got here, when you moved to la, did you find that it was just.

Yeah, I mean, I was again, still using online dating. And also I had kind of like. I mean, I had lived in LA for six years before I moved to San Francisco, so I had already, like, cultivated.

Yeah.

I was back. And I was back with renewed energy and I'm ready to go.

I remember when you moved to San Francisco, I'm like, wow, why are you moving here? Because it just seemed like it wouldn't be your scene.

Yeah. It wasn't her jam. She had to check it out. People idealize San Francisco. The thing is. And I love. It's still in my heart. I was there for 20 years. But it's a beautiful city. You know, I find interesting people. You know, you're not as caught up in the looks and the glamorous celebrity. It's not about that. It's not like who you are as a person. No one cares what car you drive. I mean, of course some people do where you go, but not my people. But I do think that LA has just been. I've met so many interesting people. Just been a good change, I think. And I think people are more laid back here.

Yeah. Don't get me wrong, if my contract doesn't get renewed, I'm packing it up and going back.

Who knows? That will never happen.

I grew up in the Bay Area.

You did?

Yeah. So my childhood was all there. And I think in moving back to San Francisco, I was kind of like, oh, I'll be closer to my family and it'll be good. And I just never found my people there. And I was like, I need to get back to that.

Yeah, it takes a while to find your people everywhere. But San Francisco people often say it's very cliquey and it's harder. So I'm glad you're here.

I thought the kink scene was gonna be super amazing in San Francisco because of kink.com and the Armory and I did a lot of events with them, but I still was not ever plugged in the way that I was in Los Angeles. Right.

And so you're really okay. So just to give you some more background, I'm moxie. You're. I've got just your nude model, sex toy expert, psychology student, sex positive activist, California native. You love listening to music, perusing used bookstores when you're not getting naked.

Yeah, I had a experience recently. I just started school again and so I walked into one of my psychology classes on the first day and my professor looks at me and he goes, you look vaguely familiar. And I was like. And I know, of course, it's like I've been naked on the Internet for a decade. So at some point I'm sure he's run into me, but I'm just like, oh, did you teach at Cal State la? And he's like, no, no. Just looking at me with that look. And I was like, okay. I'm say, going to sit down.

He's like, did he ever figure it out?

I don't know if he has. I don't. I don't know.

Oh my God, that's so funny. I'm sure, because you're like, yeah. Do people come up to you all the time and say, you look familiar sometimes?

I mean, I was in New York recently and I walked into a coffee shop and some guy came running in after me and he was like, you. You. I forget your name, but I follow you on Instagram.

And I was like, yeah, okay, so you're Moxy Cox.

Yeah, moxycox.com is my blog, and that's where I write about sex toy reviews and other things sexually related. But, I mean, I've been moxie Suicide. I became a suicide girl in 2008. So that's been a while.

Now, let's talk about Suicide Girls. Not everybody knows what Suicide Girls are, so can you.

Yeah.

Give us a little.

I think of Suicide Girls as kind of like the alternative. Playboy was the original kind of thing of it. So it's. It's girls that are, you know, confident and maybe alternative looking, getting naked and kind of coming together and holding the banner of this, like, alternative lifestyle type thing. And it's been really cool. I've met all of my closest friends through Suicide Girls. There's a great community, it's a web community based around the models of Suicide Girls. And there's so many different types of people that have come together through, you know, obviously wanting to look at naked girls, which we all like to do that. All these different groups have formed, like, people that are interested in technology or people that are interested in, you know, certain types of music and all these things.

Yeah, they have, like a community board with all different types of subjects.

Before, the Internet was what it was today, when it was just kind of like chat rooms and there wasn't. And so many different outlets for meeting people online. Suicide Girls was there.

Right. And you're like, more alternative. You think of, like, tattoos, like, dark eyeliner, all that stuff. So. And do you have a lot of friends, a lot of your friends here, Suicide Girls, too?

Yeah, absolutely. There's over 100 suicide girls in Los Angeles. And so through doing events together and you kind of find that you have a common bond with these women that you meet that also like to get naked.

How did you get into it? Have you always been more alternative? And then you were like, ah, you.

Know, at one point I was in a study abroad program and I was living in London and I was super, super broke, and I answered an ad for art class looking for someone to come pose in front of the class naked. And I was like. And they were gonna pay cash. So I was like, okay, I could do this. So I go and I show up and I, like, derobe and I stand in front of the class and I was like, I left. And I was like, wow, that was really easy. And that was pretty awesome. And, like, I feel pretty good so then I started just to look for more jobs where I could just be getting paid to be naked, which I would just. I like being naked anyways. And I was surprised at how easy it was for me to just be naked in public.

Oh, you're hot too. Right? But also to not be nervous, not be self conscious, that's rare.

And then after that, I moved to New York and I did more of that, but for photographers. And then when I moved to Los Angeles, Suicide Girls had just teamed up with PETA, the animal rights group. And they had these giant billboards all down Sunset Boulevard that said ink, not mink. And it was all these hot girls and tattoos, like basically naked, just saying that they were against animal cruelty. And it was the Suicide Girls. So that's. I, that's.

So then you were like, I'm in. Those are my people.

Yeah, exactly.

So I have a question. So I know according to your blogs, we read all about you, you were raised in a Christian household that saw sex as a marriage only situation.

Absolutely.

Which a lot of people I think can relate to. Growing up in a very religious home where sex is just for procreation. And a lot of people get stuck in that. And even if they decide to get, they can't get out of those feelings of sex is I'm doing something wrong and shameful. So I'm wondering how you were able to break through that.

Yeah, I actually was super, super involved in my church as a young adult and as a high schooler to the point where I went to a Christian college. The Bible Institute of Los Angeles. Yes. Biola. And when I was there, I saw, I. I really saw all these people kind of struggling with their sexuality and kind of like, you know, feeling like they were being sinful. And even I did, like, I felt guilty if I wore like a low cut shirt. And it was something that label school. Yeah, really anti, like my inner tendencies, like myself. And so I did a study abroad program where I wound up going to London. And because I was away from everything and everyone that I knew and basically, I mean, on a different continent, it allowed me to just kind of be introspective and figure out who I really was at my core.

Right. And then you were naked. And I was like. And then I was like, that's why.

I like to be naked. I have sexual feelings. I've been having sexual feelings. And so I was like, I felt bad for all of my peers in Bible school who were told, can't have sex. Sex is bad. No sex thoughts. And then the Day that you're married, all of a sudden, never mind. It's good. Have lots of sex. You're supposed to be having sex with your husband. And to me, I was like, that doesn't make sense. How could they possibly be told? No, no, no, no, no. Okay, now it's okay, go.

Right. So in your mind. Because a lot of people don't even question it because they grew up with it.

Right.

They're like, oh, well, now I'm in Bible school. So did you.

I was gonna ask. So when you came back from this experience.

Yeah.

And you start sharing it with people, like, what was the reaction?

I think people were kind of surprised, but they were also. Then they started asking me a lot of questions.

Yeah, I'm sure.

Like, I would get all these, like, emails or Facebook messages and be like, so, you know, this, this, that. And it became common knowledge to me that it wasn't just me, that everyone was struggling with this and had so many friends that got married right out of graduating from Christian school who never even saw their significant other naked before they got married. And it's like, it's just not healthy. And so I was like, there's a need to. For people to speak out, especially women, that sex is healthy if you're doing it in a healthy way, in a way that good for you.

Right.

And masturbation is healthy because it's such, like, an anti masturbation.

When did you start masturbating? Did you have to, like, repress it for a while? Then I did. Effort. I'm in London, I'm naked.

When I was like, 11, I remember kind of like grinding up with another girl. Like a girl, a girlfriend. And we kind of experimenting that way, but we didn't know. At least I didn't know what I was doing, that I was like, wrong. And then when I was in college at Biola, I was kind of like, I don't think masturbation is bad. I still thought sex was bad. Like, I can't have sex before I'm married. But I'm like, I don't think it says anything wrong about masturbation.

Like, it feels really good.

So I started using the handle of a hairbrush. Right.

Very common.

And it was that old Nokia phone. Do you guys remember that first Nokia phone that everyone had that you, like, played snake on whatever, so you could, like, put it on the setting where you could choose how you wanted your phone to vibrate? So I would use that and the hairbrush handle.

Very innovative.

You're like the MacGyver of sex toys.

I was like the MacGyver of sex tickets. I had to be. I had to be. I was thinking of making this bumper sticker that was like, the hairbrush with, like, a cross.

So many women. So it wasn't a vibrator? You made it a vibrator. So many women use the vibrating hair brushes, vibrating toothbrushes.

Oh, yeah.

But you were like, this doesn't vibrate, but I'm gonna find something to make it that will make it.

I was like, I'm gonna make this work.

That's amazing. So then you had an orgasm using a vibrator?

I did, yeah.

And then you advanced.

Yeah. I didn't lose my virginity with a guy until I was 22. So it took a while, and it was a lot of, like, introspection and then finally being like, I'm okay with this, and I want to do it, and it's not wrong. But I had to get to that place in myself mentally before I could actually physically go through with it. And then once I had sex, I was like, oh, the world hasn't turned to lava. It's not right. There's not volcanoes. Like, things aren't exploding. And I was like, this is actually a really amazing experience. And I'm glad that I waited this long to the point where I had mentally prepared myself.

You had time to think about it. You weren't pressured into it. You made a decision.

You already knew your body right now.

Your orgasm with a toothbrush.

And then. And sex was amazing for me. And even my first time was amazing.

Really? Did you have an orgasm the first time?

I did, and I felt really, really lucky because I knew that wasn't that experience. And in that regard, I'm glad that I had kind of had the opportunity to wait and to think about it before I had sex.

Yeah. No. And in a way, that is really good because so many people just. They get into it because they get pressured. They have to.

Were you able to convert any of your friends into your.

I did. You know, so one of these girls that I went to Biola with, we wound up moving together in. Together after I came back into a small apartment in Hollywood, and we went on this, like, sex toy binge where we, like, bought all these sex toys, like, to experiment with. And, you know, it was just kind of like. Then it became this, like, breaking out of what we had known, where we went almost like, the opposite direction.

People tend to do. The pendulum swings in the other direction.

Exactly. And so I'm kind of glad that my Childhood was the way that it was. So now I have this passion about speaking to women about masturbating and, like, being open with their sexual.

Exactly. I mean, that's probably one of the. I would say if I had tackle my top three things is really helping women, because sex, we can help the guys a lot too. But women, if you don't know your own bodies, it's not gonna work out for you. Like, you think that someone's gonna come in and figure it out. Now you were. You had already done your work, and then you had an orgasm the first time.

Yeah. Which is great. And I.

So rare.

It is so rare. And I think it goes to a lot. I tell people about working out your pelvic floor muscles, and I'm like, just like, you work out your bicep. Like, you need to work out your pelvic floor muscles, and you can do that through masturbation. And it's such a good way.

So you work yours out regularly? I do.

I use the kegel.

The kegel balls.

No, I have kegel balls. There's a product called KGoal. Oh, and it has an iPhone app.

I've seen those. Yep.

It's really cool. But there's. I mean, there's plenty of ways to break out your kegel muscles.

Right? That's good. No, it's true. It's really, really important. So you said you also started working at a sex toy store? I did.

Yeah. And so that was random. I quit a job right at the brink of the 2008, like, when everyone got fucked. Right.

And I was like, oh, my gosh. But I had always shopped at this one store on Hollywood Boulevard for laundry.

Is it Hustler Hollywood?

No, it was called Bed Behavior. Such a clever name.

I like that.

Right. And I always went in there to get lingerie and stuff for Suicide Girl shoots. And I kind of knew the girls that work there, and they're like, oh, you could start working here, like, try it out. And I was kind of like, I don't know. I started working there. I loved it. I've never loved a job more.

Tell me why.

I really liked people coming in who are kind of, like, shy, and it could be, like, an old grammar or like, a young girl and helping them find a really great sex way and then having them come back and be like, that was awesome. Or, like, recommending lube. That changes people. I had this one gay gentleman who came in, and he's like, I like the lube. Every lube sucks. And I. And I Introduced him to some lube specifically made for anal sex.

Oh, like anal glide.

Yeah. Analyze. I think it was Analyze me by pure.

Pure.

And he came back with a bracelet for me. He's like, you changed my life. Thank you so much.

A bracelet.

A bracelet. He brought me a gift for recommending lube. Nice people.

It's so confusing. You go, that's why I teach to talk about specific toys, because I only talk about things that I love and that I've tried. But it's like, it can be so overwhelming for people. They're like, I don't. I've never. I don't. I've never had an orgasm. Like, am I going to plunk down 100 bucks if it's not so great? So it's right that you work in a store and you can really, like, tease it out of people. Like, well, how do you orgasm?

People should go in and ask. I think people go into sex shops and they never talk to the. To the employees. But you should, because they are, you know, they have a wealth of information about the products they work with. And I think that most people want to help you out.

What was the first toy you tried, Besides the toothbrush MacGyver thing?

Yeah, it was a clitoral, like, Bullet the pocket rocket. It was called the Nubby Bullet.

The Nubby Bullet.

Nubs are good. Nubs are really good.

Which is like such a weird name, but it was the Nubby Bullet. And it had. It had like a. The speed control was a dial, which is still one of my favorite things when it's a dial. So you can kind of like go up and down. You don't have to fidget with too many buttons. But that thing lasts me forever. And now I just go through vibrators.

What do you like? Yeah. So what's your favorite toy right now?

Oh, real quick. Before you. Yeah, I'm sorry. When you're working at the sex toy shop, what was the most popular item?

So how many years ago was it?

This was 2008.

Okay.

So it then became the Nubby Bullet. Because I was such a huge fan, I'd be like.

I hope they gave you commission on that.

Yeah, we did get a commission. It was, you know, and it was like. I was. It was.

Makes it. Because I know people are going to be emailing it. It's probably like $10 toy.

Don't buy it. I don't even know if it still exists. It was Cal Exotics. It was probably. I use the Lelo Smart Wand now, which I really like.

Oh, you like the Layla Smart Wand? Yep. That's. That's a good one.

Yeah, it's a good one. I also use the Erasa and that's.

Like my old standard is amazing.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's. It has a little nub on it. It's hard to explain. It has a little turning thing on the end of it and it's like, goes like this.

There's a. There's an attachment called the golden spoon. That's my favorite one. I kill a lot of sex toys.

You do? Yes. Well, you could use them a lot. Do you ever. Do you do photography with using toys and stuff?

I don't actually. That's a lie. I do. I've shot a lot with strap ons, like wearing them or with dildos, but I haven't shot with like a vibrator.

I wouldn't necessarily label myself bisexual. I say I'm like sexually fluid or sexually open, but I do regularly sleep with both women and men.

Okay, so you're not in a relationship. Are you in a relationship?

I'm in a relationship. My boyfriend's sitting outside. Oh, that's your boyfriend? Yeah, we have a really cool relationship where he's a touring musician. He actually leaves on tour tomorrow and so we can see sleep with whoever we want when he's gone on tour. And when he's here, I can still sleep with women.

Okay. So when he's here you can say, and when he's gone, men are away.

Yeah.

And now I have a question. Do you guys talk? Is it don't ask, don't tell?

No, our thing is you can ask as many questions as you want, but the information that you have to give is the morning after you have sex, you just text and say, hey, just wanted to let you know that I slept with someone last night. And then the other person can say, ask as many questions as they want and then you have to answer.

And how have you dealt with jealousy in this role? How long have you guys been together?

First of all, we've been together a little over a year.

Okay.

And he tours for three months. About every two months he leaves on a three month tour. Jealousy. It's not that I don't have jealousy. I think that it's mentally going through why I'm feeling jealous. And I think it's a positive thing to feel jealousy towards your partner and it's how you handle it and whether it becomes constructive to your relationship or not. So.

I think I reading a lot and having resources of people who have similar relationships and also understanding the psychology of jealousy and. And why humans feel the certain way that they do. Which is how I came to wanting to always have an open relationship to begin with.

That's like Emily's dream.

I know, I know.

And I've been working on it. No, I'm telling you, I've been working on it over the years.

It's not easy. I don't think that it's necessarily. It's not for everyone and it's not something. It's not something easy. But it's definitely easier as it goes along and easier than I thought it would be. Original.

How do we get closer and more into it? Because there are no secrets. Really. Like you.

Really. And it's almost the weirdest thing. Cause after you sleep, or at least for me. And I know that he's expressed the same thing. Like after we sleep with someone else, you almost miss the other person more, right?

Because you guys have that intimate connection, the intimacy. But I have a question for you. Is there any rules with you guys that, like, you can't. It's hard to say this, but you can't develop an emotional attachment or it can't. Everyone has their own rules. You can't sleep with the same person again twice.

We have. I don't like them. I say don't sleep with any girls under 21.

That's a good rule.

Like youngins. And also, like, no texting. That's not like, I'm setting up a date, right? So like, no texting after. Before. That's not like, hey, I'm gonna meet you here. I'll meet you here, whatever. Okay.

And how about with you? Like, does he. Cause he's gone for three months, so he's out and then you're here. But has never been a time where you met someone. You're like, wow, this is really great. Cause three months is a long time. And then he comes back in town and then you can't talk to anymore or what.

I think I try to be really honest about my relationship and then honest with myself also. And if I feel myself growing attached, then I'll just kind of try to separate myself.

See, that's really healthy. That's really healthy. Because I think that is the hard part, trying to understand that, like, because I get. I have the ability to really love many people, I think, and to connect and so.

And you definitely will feel tender towards people that you're sleeping with. And I think that's definitely. You can't just sleep. I mean, sometimes maybe you sleep with someone you don't feel tender towards them and he's like, what if you feel.

Like, don't let the door hit you in the ass.

I think I wouldn't expect him to always feel that way about people that he sleeps with. And I'm sure he doesn't and feel. Expect me to feel that way. Like, you will feel tender towards people, and I think that that's normal.

Okay. And then you guys also have. Do you have threesomes and stuff?

We haven't. I've had a lot of threesomes in the past. I used to actually be part of a triad where it was a married couple and me.

Wow.

But we haven't had a threesome in our relationship yet. I don't. I'm. It's not because we're against it. I'm sure it'll happen at some point.

You guys been busy?

Yeah, we've been busy with other people.

It's really busy. Gotta coordinate all their schedules and stuff like that, you know, so it's true. So what about dating in la, though, when you got here? What do you think about that? Like, how did you met people? Online, mostly.

Yeah, I did a. I mean, I. Eventually there will be a book because my online dating experiences are pretty crazy. I tried to do like an OkCupid date at least once a week for some time in Los Angeles even before I moved to San Francisco. And it was.

Crazy. It was a lot. There's a lot of people out there.

There's a lot of people. But what about. Okay, so you're more into kinky, Right. So do you put that out there? How do you explain it to people? Or they're like. What do you mean? Like, kinky can mean so many things.

Yeah. Like what level?

What level of things?

I think I say kinky, but pretty much right away if I'm on a date with someone, I'll go there maybe right away.

And it's kind of like a litmus test, because you can notice when someone's scared and they're not into it or if they're intrigued and they want to know more.

So is it on the first date? You'll even bring it open?

Yeah. It's not even that I necessarily want to. I feel like it always does. It just comes up.

The sexual.

This exact.

Does he bring it up, the guy?

Usually, you know.

Well, they ask what you do.

It's probably me.

Yeah. And I can't get around it.

Yeah. I can't get around it. Yeah. Maybe that's what it is. And for a long time, I worked for Stockroom.com, which is a kinky toy place. And.

Yeah, especially if someone comes back to my house. Like, I have a lot of kinky artwork. I have amazing glass dildos on display. Like, there's. There's, like, there's kinky stuff happening in my house.

Yeah. There's no being in my living room. I'm like, what the hell?

Yeah, you can't. You can't hide it.

They're sending me, like, a thing to cover. But, yeah, I've told.

Right.

You really can't hide it. But, like, if you fear with somebody, though, and he's like, on the Internet, that freaks me out. Then you're like, we're not going past this.

Yeah. I remember dating someone for maybe, like, a couple weeks. And I like to have sex. I almost always, like, there's a point. It's like, I always almost. If I felt a connection with someone, had sex on the first date, and then it was like, okay, I want to have sex with this person again, or I don't. Or I want to see them again or I don't. Like, I knew pretty much, like, after that or before that.

So you had sex with them on the first date just so you knew. You're like, why waste time?

No, if I wanted to, like, if I felt a connection and I was like, okay, cool. Like, I like this person. I want to have sex. And then it was like, almost like, okay, like, yeah, I want to have sex with them again, or, nah, then.

We might have a connection. So are you more dominant or submissive in bed, or does.

It depends. With girls, I love to strap on and be dominant and be the one with the dick. It's really. I don't know. I have major penis envy.

Me too.

But with guys, I really want someone to take hold and kind of, like, be a little bit more aggressive with me. So it depends on the situation.

What about, like, are you into, like, bondage? Bdsm?

Yeah. My latest thing has been playing with electricity.

Oh, yeah. There's so many great electrostim vibes out there too.

Oh, my gosh. What is going on?

Talk to Menace.

I know. Menace. Menace. Electro sex.

Okay.

This is my newest thing. So there's this thing, it's called the power tripper, and you plug it into a neon wand. So neon wand is like. I don't even know how to describe it.

Yeah, it's like a clear. It's like a clear glass.

Yeah, it's like. It's like a wand. And you can put different attachments in It. And basically it conducts electricity. So you can use this wand and I can touch you, and you would feel like, a little shock.

Okay.

But it feels good. It feels good.

It's just, like, stimulating. Menace is inching away from me as we're talking. He's rolling across the room.

And so there's this thing. It's called the powertrooper. So you basically plug into an electrical source, and then it makes you conductive of electricity. So your whole body, your fingers, if you're a dude, your dick is putting out tiny electrical.

And it can feel really good. Like, vibrations and electrical together, too. Yeah.

So it's really, really amazing and fun to play with.

Okay, hold on.

I feel like Superman.

I know.

Now I'm just. I'm trying to figure out how he's.

Getting, like, shocked and, like, you're.

No, no, no, not that part. So I'm plugging it in, and then how am I attaching it to my body?

So you plug it in and it's like open wire. And then it has, like, a metal square. And you can put it in your underwear or, like in a garter or in your bra, however you want to put it on. So it has contact with your skin. And then you become. You conduct the electricity.

Wow.

Like your fingers or your. It's really cool.

It's on Amazon.

Do you feel.

Which one do you Recommend?

Go to goodvibes.com.

Yeah, goodvibes.com.

Use code EMILY. And get some electrostim. I just got the Jimmy Jane touch one. That's electrostimp, too. Have you tried that yet?

I haven't tried that. I do love Jimmy Jane products.

Me too. I just got it in the mail, so I'm gonna try it manis. I'll let you know. I'll report back to you as well, how it works. But do you feel that the guys like it? Men like it. And you like, like it as well, or you like it more?

I imagine if you're smoking weed and doing that, that'd be crazy.

Whoa. What's going on? Is there a lightning storm?

Have you used that weed lube?

No, I haven't, but I heard about it.

Yeah, I used it. Yeah.

Do you like it?

I did. Yeah. For real? It was crazy. I don't smoke weed at all. Maybe every once in a while. So I turned into, like, total stoner. When I was getting fucked and I was using that lube, I was like, whoa. Yeah. Like, I just all of a sudden transformed into stoner land.

Exactly. But do you feel like it may Give you more orgasms.

I feel like it elongates.

Elongates your orgasms? Yeah. I mean, I tried it, you know, I didn't have a crazy reaction. Like, some people have great reactions, some people don't, but, you know, why not try everything? I feel like there's nothing I will not try at least once.

I feel the same way. Like, I will. I'm open to trying everything, and I'll say, know it or. Yes, exactly.

Okay, we come back. We're gonna get more into your sex life and some more toys that you love and Menace's sex life. I think we just gotta push this sex toy item. Take home.

It's so crazy, though. When we started this show about 10 years ago, I would just jokingly say all these crazy sex toy ideas, and 10 years ago, I'm like, what?

She.

She, like, couldn't even grasp it. I was like, wouldn't it be cool if I. Let's say I'm here in San Francisco, and then some girl is, like, in Illinois, and I can, you know, plug in something into my computer and have sex with it. And on the other side, like, she could be, like, getting penetrated. Whatever.

Yeah, now it's happening. Fleshlight, the key room.

Always ahead of my time.

Menace, you're even a millionaire.

I know Menace throws out these, but I don't take them seriously. Like, you never use a sex toy, but, yes, the Kiru exists.

Have you never used a sex toy of any type?

Yeah, no, I've used sex toys. I just. I'll be. I'll ask which one.

Let's.

Yeah, I want to know which one. Have you used, like, a vibrating cock ring?

The. The something. I don't know. I don't pay attention.

Never he's ever used one. You don't pay attention. It vibrated.

Yeah, it, like, vibrated the size of an egg. It was a.

Did it look like phallic?

It was phallic.

Are you talking about something? Did we. Sticking it up your bum?

No. God, no. Magnus, we're working. We're already. We're just working on him to, like, talk about sex.

There's this whole thing that I'm Jo. That I joke about on the show where it's like, you know, you use a sex toy. It's a gateway drug. You know, once you get there, next thing you know, you start with a bullet. And then next thing you know, you're using something that's called the dump truck.

That's.

You know, and then, I don't know. And then if you're like, who knows maybe, you know, my partner, she's not satisfied with just what we're doing.

Leave you for the vibrator.

No, no, no, I'm not. I'm not afraid of. I'm not afraid of that. But maybe if we're satisfied in what we're doing without the toys, then cool. But if there's something that they want to bring into the situation, then go ahead. I'm not against that.

Right, you're not against it, but you're.

You're saying that I should be the pusher and the person that says, honey, I could bring in, like, you know, what we need to bring in?

No, it's not. There's need. There's no need. It's that sexy magic wand sensations. Your penis will never be able to stimulate her. You will not be able to. Lex. What if she loves.

I'm not against that. I'm just saying if. If you're okay with what you're doing now.

No, things sound great.

But if you're in a relationship and you want to bring it in.

No, I think that's. I think that's the wrong attitude. I think, you know, if things are great the way they are now, think of how much more amazing they can be when you add things.

Exactly.

I agree. I'm just saying that I'm not gonna be the initiator.

You know how you love Disneyland?

Yes.

And there's all these rides. Maybe every new rides, and the sensors like, oh, my God, I can't wait till next year we're gonna go on that ride. But this year I'm gonna go upside down and do it three times at this Ferris wheel. Not that. Whatever the great rides are there now. Cause I haven't been there like you have in 20 years. But like, it's not like this ride, the one that you go upside down and the one where you go really fast on the Ferris wheel or the. What's it called? Roller coaster. So much better. They're both thrilling experiences.

I know. I'm gonna get blown up on emails like, oh, how's he on sex with Emily? And he's not.

No, they don't.

He's not getting, you know, the anal ripper and that. The new. All that new devices. I'm just saying that, look, do whatever the hell you want to do. I don't care. And if you want to bring it into the situation, I'm not against that either.

Okay, good.

I'm just saying that I'm not the initiator when it comes to that stuff.

Okay. I Got it. Moxie back to your sex life.

I'm very interested in your sex life.

Okay. Yeah, Maxi. I'm very interested in your sex life. So I want to know about how, like, when you say you're, like, into more Kinky or bdsm, like, do you feel like in the last few years even that you're always kind of pushing the envelope with it and you want to keep raising the bar? Or, like, is there anything new you've tried lately?

I think maybe, like, five years ago, before, like, kinky was before there was 50 shades of grey or whatever, and people were more aware of kinks, kinky behavior. I would always kind of do this thing where it could be a guy that I was having sex with once or that I'd have multiple time where I'd have a ball gag right next to my bed. So he'd be fucking, like, maybe he'd be fucking me from buying it. And I just put on the ball gag, and then I turn around just to kind of, like, test him.

Yeah.

To kind of see what the reaction was.

What would it be?

Almost always the guy, like, thought it was really hot, but also was like, I've never had anyone do that to me before.

See that? Okay, that is such a good example there. Because people are like, we've done so many shows on how do I introduce my partner? Leave it by your bed and just turn it on. But did he know what to do with the ball gag? Did he know to, like, pull it?

No, no, I just put it on. So I just, like, have it in my mouth. And you're like, you know, turn around. It's just, like, the visual stimulation of, like, whoa.

Right? That's awesome. I see. I think that. What about using sex toys with partners? Are you ever, like, how do you bring that in?

I always have a sex toy, probably eight sex toys by my bed. And I will just. I would always grab. I mean, having the Hitachi Magic Wand be wireless is amazing, but a wand type toy, so that when I'm getting fucked from behind, I can be using it on my clitoris.

Exactly.

And oftentimes the guys love it because that vibration is reverberating into them, and they're like, whoa.

They love it. They love it. They're like, oh, my God, my balls feel the vibration.

Yeah, exactly. That's so damn good.

I never felt a vibration on my ball.

Exactly. Yeah.

They get so psyched.

They do.

That's a great way to just leave it out. Don't worry what people are gonna think.

Just leave it out and then turn it on and just stop overanalyzing it. So. Yeah.

And do you find that like. So you said you orgasm easily the first time you had sex. How do you typically orgasm? Clitorally, G spot? Both.

I mean, when I'm masturbating, I almost always use clitoral stimulation and orgasm clitorally. When I'm having sex either with a woman where she's wearing a strap on or with a guy, I have vaginal orgasms and I do squirt, which has had some weird shock. Like, some guys have been really shocked by that.

Shocked, happy or shocked? Like what? Depends.

Maybe they never experienced that before.

Weirded out. Yeah, some really, like, oh my God, that's awesome. And some like. So did you pee?

Oh, what just happened?

I know, right? Do you feel like there's certain positions that make you squirt, right? Like G spot?

Yeah, always. Almost when I'm on top of.

Yeah.

And then I can kind of like. Then I'm kind of also grinding my clit, like on the dude's stomach. And so then I have. I'm having multi stimulation. Things happen.

But do you feel like every time you squirt, you're having an orgasm? But can't you. Do you squirt without orgasm?

I can sometimes. So usually it happens in like spurts of three. So the first time that I squirt, it's almost simultaneous with orgasms. And then maybe like almost immediately, two times, like, I'll like, insertion, come out, squirt, insertion, come out, squirt, just. And those times aren't necessarily with orgasm. Those are separate.

Because I feel like it's been the same for me, both guys, like, wow. I'm like, yeah, I wasn't orgasm, but it's the first time I do same thing. Same exact thing. I totally get it.

Manus, have you heard anyone squirt on you multiple times?

Were you freaked out or were you like, he laughed.

He went to order pizza.

He was like.

I gotta go to the laundromat later.

Now it's a bummer. So towels gone, people. It is messy. Even if you buy a waterproof mattress by a floaty boat thing, one of those rafts or something.

I got this throw from Liberator. It was like, whatever, the sex throw that's supposed to be waterproof. And then it messed with me mentally. So then whenever my partner and I would put it down before we had sex, I wouldn't squirt.

Right. Cause you're like, you prepared for it.

Yeah.

Because you want to do it so bad.

Damn it. I gotta get one of those throws, though. That's a good one.

They are good. Yeah. But then I was just like, fuck it, because I couldn't. It wasn't gonna happen.

Yeah, it's true. Sometimes you're, like, psyching yourself out. I totally get it. Okay, so G spot. And the G spot orgasms are. Do you feel like you have a clitoral orgasm first and then the G spot?

When I'm having sex, yeah. When I'm on top, it's kind of like. I feel like it starts with clitoral and then it's the whole body.

Right. And do you feel like that came naturally for you or you had to learn that more through, like, how would you teach a woman? Because I get these questions all the time.

I would say masturbate a lot. Clitorally. Yeah. So, I mean, and it is. It's like. It's muscle memory and it's muscle contraction. It's like the same as if you're lifting weights and you're working out your biceps. So it's just like. It'll come easily to you. You will get stronger. It's the same with your. Your whole system down there. Exactly.

And pelvic floor exercises really help.

Yeah. Yeah.

Okay, do you want to. Let's answer some emails. I'd love to get your help here. Okay. Thank you, everybody, for emailing me. Feedbackexwithelmy.com and you've. All you guys have been so great lately because you're remembering to give me your age and where you live. Emily, I have a dilemma. I'm really into rough sex. Like hair pulling, spanking, tie me up hard and fast kind of rough sex. My boyfriend isn't. He likes the sensual, slow, and romantic kind. Don't get me wrong.

Every now and then, this guy wants that. I don't know a lot.

Not you, but every now and then, 99.9% they want they what?

They want what she wants. And they're like, looking for a girl like that.

Well, here we go. Not everyone, clearly. Every now and then, it's nice to have that. But he's completely closed the idea of rough sex because he doesn't want to hurt me. How can I ease the idea onto him Better. Thank you, Molly. I'm tossing this to you, Maxi.

Tequila.

It's always the answer.

Tequila. Yeah. That's a rough one. I would say maybe start out with something that doesn't feel so violent. So maybe not tying up. Maybe start with some light spanking, like just the hand.

Take his hand. She likes to be spanked.

Yeah, exactly.

Put a ball gag on and. No, give him hand on the paddle or hand him his hand. Just show him. Because some guys do it wrong. I know. It's the worst. I'm like, hey, babe, underneath there, like.

The padding part, right where your cheek meets your thigh is a good sweet spot. If you go up further, you're gonna, like, hit someone's kidneys. Or it's just.

I know it's good. Spank wrong. And you're like, I appreciate. I don't want to, like, knock them down. I'm like, I appreciate the effort, but that's painful.

I think guiding their hands to the right spot is always a good. A good win.

Exactly. Guide their hands. The right spot. You could also, you know, you could just start talking about it and say, God, grab my ass. That'd be really hot if you grab my ass right now. I mean, I wouldn't say, start out with, like, the blindfolds and, like, your dungeon, all of that. But also, you can talk about fantasies. Like, is there anything you want to try? But it's hard. If a guy's not into the rough set, I think he's going to. She thinks he's gonna hurt her. So how do you explain, like, guys? Cause a lot of people watch 50 Shades of Gray. We're talking middle America, wherever, and they're like, I don't get it. I do not intellectually understand how that feels good and how pleasure and pain are so closely connected. And so it can be tricky to get someone to cross over to your side. They can watch some porn together, read some books.

Reading books is always. I'm, like, a huge book nerd, so I'm always like, I want to find literature on everything, but maybe movies.

Yeah. What would you suggest? Any good porn you're into. What kind of porn do you watch?

Oh, God, I've been stuck in the rut of porn for so long. I love massage porn.

Massage porn?

Yeah. Like, massage therapist comes in and massage.

And then it turns into sex. I don't know why. Like, I thought.

Because everyone wants that.

I thought it was a phase that I was going through. You know how you, like, go through your phase?

Yeah, totally.

I was like, I'm in this phase. And then I was like, I think I've been in that phase for, like, three years.

Nice. How do you find that?

I'm still watching massage porn on you.

Porn. So is it the woman getting a massage?

Either way, I'm fine with, like, the Woman getting the massage or the man getting the massage or two girls doing the massage.

Do you watch porn most times that you. Most times you masturbate or do you also use your own good old imagination?

Usually I start with porn and then a lot of times I wind up just like closing my eyes and using my imagination.

What do you think about? Do you think Go to my own.

Sexual experiences, Things that have already happened.

Yeah.

Could be like the latest one or it could be like, I have a few favorites, but what's your like go to. I have. Oh, God. I mean, I really like public sex, so I have a few, like, public sex experiences that I always think about.

Yeah. Is there one in particular?

One time I was driving, I was moving from New York to la and I was driving in a cross country and I drove a white Honda Accord. It was terrible.

We've all done that.

Yeah, I've had a white Honda Accord.

Yeah, we probably all had that same white Honda Accord. But we were on this like stretch of highway in Wisconsin or someplace very rural, and we just pulled over to the side and he bent me over the hood of my car and just like fucked me on the free, you know, with just like miles of freeway.

That's hot. But it's like the bend over.

The bend over. Yeah. By the time a car was coming by close enough, it was going too fast to really, like slow down and.

Be like, what's cocktail sex? Public sex. That's a hot one. How are your parents? Is what you do.

Should totally wear that while having sex.

Have your parents come around.

They don't know.

Oh, wow.

What? No way.

You know, I kind of think that too. I think that if they did know, it's not like they're gonna say like, I'm 30 years old. They're not gonna sit me down and be like, hey, we don't approve. We don't approve. Because what are they gonna do? Like, you can't come home for Christmas. Like, they're like begging me to come home. Right, right, right. Yeah. No. And I have a really good relationship actually with both my parents and my siblings. And my siblings are aware of what I do and they're very supportive.

And are they have they kept more of the religious.

My sister has and my brother, not so much. But my parents aren't super conservative, but they are Christian.

Right. So they are not probably logging into your site.

Yeah, they are not logging into my site.

Yeah, my mom tells everyone she's a really. She helps couples with relationships. I'm like, that's my fine mom. Whatever you can do. Well, thank you so much for being here with us and I can't wait to see you again at your show. And you're beautiful and talented and smart and you can find Moxie on Twitter. It's OxyContin. That's M O X I C o n T I n Metis. You and your pup, where can we find you?

Oh, Instagram. Just menace M e N a C e Arden if you want to follow my dog, it's my dog, Chiro.

I'd rather fly your dog.

Oh yeah, she's a lot more fun than I am.

She's really cute.

Okay, thank you so much. Thank you Madison for a great show and thank you everyone for listening. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com.

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