Birthdays, Boobs, and Boozy Kisses

Okay, so let's talk about one of my favorite ways to upgrade your solo or partner play. It is the Hera by Jiu. It's a sleek, powerful rabbit vibrator that's basically the best of both worlds. It's incredible for internal stimulation and those rumbly, mind blowing clitor vibes JJOO is known for. Here's what I love. The external ears are powered by the same motor as the Mimi, which you've heard me rave about before. I love the Mimi. And the internal arm delivers deep, satisfying vibrations right to your G spot. It's super so soft, ultra quiet, and it moves with your body. So whether you're using it solo or with a partner, it has this feel like it's made just for you. And honestly, it's kind of a no brainer. Everyone loves the Hera and right now you can get 20 off the HERA using code EMILY20@sexwithemily.com HERA that's EMILY20 for 20 off at sexwithemily.com H E R A so if you've been looking for a toy that delivers powerful blended orgasm with thoughtful design and serious quality, this is it. So go treat yourself. You deserve it. Hey everyone. Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. On today's show, I'm helping you navigate your sex, body and relationship questions. Topics include which sex toy makes the best gift, what to do when you have the breast size blues, does one kiss with a girl make you a bisexual? And useful hygiene tips for all, all this and more. Thanks for listening.

Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them in a bygone day. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. A girl's gotta have her standard. Oh my. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my God, I feel so good. Being bad feels pretty good. You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com and check out all the amazing stuff we have going on on the website. And I want to open the show, you guys by saying it's my birthday and I could not be happier to be sitting here doing a podcast on my birthday. Because I'm so grateful for all of you and you have helped to make this an incredible year. Because without you really, like, we would not have a show and I wouldn't be able to get to do what I love and to help everybody with their sex and relationship issues and I gotta say, challenges, if you will not, issues. And that I love hearing from you. You guys have been so generous with your emails and your thought that you put into them and your questions. And I just appreciate you trusting me and being vulnerable and being open and like, for example, we just did this, like, masturbation month contest, and we asked you guys for your masturbation routine. And I'm, like, blown away by the submissions. We got, like, over 150. And they're great stories, you guys. Like, I mean, I think they're gonna be inspiring for a lot of people. Don't worry, we won't read them without your consent. But it's just saying, like, every day you guys just fill me up. You fill my heart up. You help by sharing your stories. You're helping so many other people. And so I just really. And here's the thing. This is the truth. I'm not a big gift person, okay? And now wouldn't that be awesome to date? I'm like, I don't care what you want to give me for my birthday. And in fact, on my birthday every year, I actually take my friends out for dinner or like, I bring, you know, I have a party and I'm like, don't anyone bring anything. Because I just feel like the people in my life are what makes it so spectacular. So I don't need anything. I don't need a gift. There is one thing, though. I thought, you know, this could be cool. I'll ask you guys this. It's not gonna. It's not gonna take very much, but one of my goals for this year is moving forward to the next year, is that I just wanna get closer to you. Meaning I'm planning on doing a lot more travel this year, a lot more connecting, maybe coming to your hometown. Let me know if there's any opportunities here to come speak or. And of course, I'll be letting you know where I'm going to be traveling to. And then also I. In that effort to become closer, I think it's really cool if you guys could help out by, like, sharing your thoughts. Like, just take a few seconds and go to itunes or wherever you listen to the show, Google Play, Spotify, and just, you know, leave a positive review, say what you like. About the show because that really helps other people find the show and discover sex with Emily and have better sex and relationships, which is why I'm on the planet. And so that is a huge help. And also, like, when you. I realize I'm always like, oh, follow me on social, blah, blah. But it's not because. So you can see selfies, which you can, I guess, if you follow me. But the real purpose, like, what we think about here, you know, our mission behind of our social media is because, like, I have a whole team here and I am nothing without my team. And we spent a lot of time, like, writing and curating and researching and putting out articles and blogs and posts and videos that we think will also help you in your sex and relationship journey towards having better sex and relationships and a healthier life. When you follow me on social, we share all that with you, like Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, all that. It's all sexwithemily. That's the deal where I think if you haven't followed us yet, I think you're really gonna enjoy our content. And I love hearing from you all and when you tell us what you like and what you don't like about it. So it's great. And also the last thing is our newsletter. It's weird cause, like, I don't really love getting newsletters. I don't really love you in emails. You know, I feel like everything's through text now. But I have to say, over the last few years where I've consistently done newsletters, I've never gotten so many compliments before on a newsletter who like, I read your emails. I love your newsletters. They're awesome. So I think you like it too, because we just kind of curate what's happened the last week. We send you the podcast, we send you all the articles, we send you the blogs, we send you the videos. So I think you'll like that. Thank you. And here's another thing you guys might not know. I've been doing this for 12 years. I know first year podcasting started 2005. And so you can actually, a lot of you email me, which I love. You're like, I'm binging on your podcast. I'm downloading them all on itunes. And the thing is, we have an archive on our site. It's sexwithemily.com podcasts. And I'm telling you, our podcasts are pretty evergreen. You go back to listening five years ago. If you listen to a podcast, it's just as relevant and informative as it is today. So you might enjoy those. And that's what I got going on, you guys. So thank you, everybody. I just love you. And thanks for being here on my birthday. Okay, today's show, I'll be answering your emails, and I want to talk to you about this sex, the news story, which I'm obsessed with, because. Well, first of all, let me tell you why this is such a winning story for everybody here. Six mistakes people make in bed according to porn stars. Okay, so let's get down to some of these tips here. So, first of all, I know y' all love the porn star shows. I know y' all getting advice from porn stars. I mean, who doesn't, right? Everyone's like, how do you have sex like a porn star? And you all love my recent show with Joanna Angel. She's awesome. And she's actually in this article. So I thought, wow, as I was reading this, I'm like, this is what I tell you guys all the time. But I think coming from the porn stars and the way they explain it was just another level. And sometimes you gotta hear things a few times, dozens of times, to let it sink in. And this is a little bit of a different perspective. Okay, you guys, here's the first thing. You don't often seek feedback in bed. So I think that, you know, I always say, like, you know, pay attention to what your partner wants. Like, do you know, are they moaning? Like, is their breath quickening? You know, what really turns your partner on? Like, are they getting hard? Are they getting wet from things you're doing? Like, what toys do they really like? And I think if you're just more attentive and you. You pay attention, you seek feedback and you give feedback. That's just a big part about sex. And also, the more that you know what you really want in bed, that'll be a lot easier as well. So paying attention to both what you want and what your partner wants and giving feedback and communicating is huge. So that's the first step, you guys, first mistake. You might. You might not have done that lately. So I would say, next time having sex, think about it here. Like, what is my partner doing? Do they like the way I'm giving this blow job or I'm making out with them? You know, I don't want you to get too inside your head, but also think about ways that you could be on the same page with your partner to move things forward. Another thing, you guys, this is why I love this one, okay? You never take control. So in the 12 years I've been doing this show. I have to say that there's consistent complaints that I re. I receive from men. An email saying that my partner. And I'm just talking about heterosexual couples here, typically it's from men saying, my partner never initiates sex. And I totally get it because I, like many women, I was raised to believe that guys should initiate sex, and they should, you know, And I just follow along and like. And that's just what happens. Men ask you out. They ask, you know, they make the first move during sex. I'm not saying, like, I never make the move, but it's kind of like. And this is where I always say my heart goes out to men. Because I feel like you guys. You guys have to do so much and it's stressful and you have to deal with rejection, all that. But I also know that I've learned through this that it's really important. Like, if I'm feeling turned on, I want to have sex. And even, let's say it's not even top of mind, but I know that maybe in a few hours I want to have sex. I make sure that I initiate sex that night, you know, and it's kind of like a rewiring of your brain, because the more that you do it, you'll realize, like, oh, like, I'm actually. He looks so sexy when you just walk in the door. I want to have sex with him. So make that move. You guys. Guys always say to me, I wish you would just take control every once in a while. And it's not even like a new skill. It's a muscle. And then once you start to do it, you're going to have that skill, and your partner will appreciate it. Okay, you guys, the other one. Guess what? It's about foreplay. You don't prioritize foreplay. Okay? So for some people, especially women, foreplay, the buildup of the sexual anticipation is kind of is the key to ultimately reaching orgasm. Like I always say, foreplay is not just like a light suggestion. It's actually a requirement. Like, we need foreplay. It helps us feel, you know, sexual. So, like, our body's gonna get on board and we actually need it. Sometimes we're not turned on. We're not ready for sex. And I think that a lot of guys think, you know, I'm just going to get her, you know, turn on just enough so she's wet and ready to go, and then we can have sex. Okay, I've talked about that, talked about. Guys like, you reach right for my boobs or you reach for my pants, and you want to get it right in. So that's why you guys. Foreplay is really important. So I think it's like, if you're, like, confused by what that means, you're like, do you mean I have to go down there for 20 minutes? It can be easy as, like, starting to talk dirty with your partner. You know, I feel like talking dirty is something that really confuses a lot of you. I know that we do shows on it, we talk about it, but it really is a great tool because the more you start to talk, and this is for men and for women, and you just, like, literally in the moment, don't overthink it. Like, am I saying the right thing? Even if you just say, describe what's happening in the moment, like, that's so hot, the way your hands are touching me, or, I've been thinking about having sex with you all day, that kind of, like, prolongs the experience. You can never narrate what's happening, and it also enhances intimacy, and it'll make the experience even hotter. And your partner might not be rushing right through foreplay. So it's kind of like a reminder for both of you. Like, let's slow down. Let's talk about this. Like, let's. You know, let's. Let's get it on and have some foreplay. Make it even hotter. Okay, here's the other thing, you guys. You don't take your time. People always say to me, what's your top sex advice? If I just meet someone at a party, like, okay, what's one thing that I don't know? I'm like, slow down. Because we all rush through sex, and we spend so much time thinking about sex and wanting to have sex, but yet when we're actually having sex, we don't slow down. So take that time, Slow down, engage in foreplay, make it hot again. Make out, do all those things that you used to do, or if you never did them, start doing them now. Another mistake that we often make is that we're so inside our head and that we're worried about being awkward. We're worried about our insecurities that our partner's gonna notice that we think we gained two pounds, or, like, our left boob's bigger than our right boob. We don't, like, communicate to our lovers what we really want in bed. We don't say, like, this position kind of hurts, and I think you'd feel much better on top because we don't want to upset them. Or we don't tell them what we actually need to have an orgasm. Or, you know, guys, don't give. You don't give corrections on like or, like, advice about how your blowjob could be even better. I get it, you guys. I'm all for you. I'm not saying that your blowjobs can't be improved. I know you're glad you're getting a blowjob, but there's just little tips, you guys, little things. You worried you're gonna be judged and it's gonna be awkward, but talking about it and saying what you want will only make the sex better, you guys. The other thing is eye contact. You don't make eye contact. When was the last time you made eye contact with your partner during sex? And I'm not saying you have to, like, stare into each other's eyes the whole time, because that can also get really uncomfortable. But what if you just thought, you know what, When I have sex with my partner, the next time, I'm gonna make an effort just to look in their eye, even if it's for 5 seconds or 10 seconds, just to, like, feel that connection again. Because that is another thing that enhances intimacy. And we're all inside our heads and during sex and we're thinking about, like, how to please our partner or how we look. But the second you lock eyes with your partner, all that can melt away and you can truly be present with your partner and the experience and just feel that intimacy and feel that love, you guys. I wish I could stare into all your eyes right now. The other thing is, then, this is big. This is big. You don't ask for oral sex. This is for the women. A lot of women don't just demand it. Like, you're going to give a blow job, but you're not demanding that you need oral sex back. So if you want oral sex, if that works for you, tell your partner you want it. Tell them how you want it, and enjoy a little while, you guys, because it's just really. I mean. And also, here's the one more thing I want to say. There's a lot of women, I think, and I think it's younger women perhaps, who haven't had a lot of experience with oral. And they. You still might be thinking, oh, you know, I don't know if I like it or I had it once and it wasn't good. Let me tell you something. This is the kind of thing that you don't want to stop at one time. You want to try it again. You Want to, you know. And through masturbation, you're going to learn what you like and be able to tell your partner. But you try oral, you will like it, I promise. So you heard from the porn stars, you've heard it from me. You guys, I just want you to have amazing sex this year. Okay? I'm gonna give a shout out to our sponsors. Thank you for supporting them and helping to keep the show free. I love you all. And I'll be right back with your emails.

Okay, guys, onto your emails. If you have a question you want me to answer on the show, that's amazing. Did you know that you can also text me your question? Just text one word to 797-979. Text Ask Emily. That's a S K E M I o y to 797979. And what you do is you get the message. You send that and then you get the form. The form just says, hey, here you go. Fill out this form and send me a question. It's so easy. You can also go to the website sectwithemily.com via the Ask Emily tab. You can ask your question and then always include your age, your name, how you listen to the show, where you live. You guys have been really good at that lately because, you know, I really need your age. You can change your name, but the age. So helpful for context. First email. Hey, Emily, I'm 27 and I've been married for close to seven years now. I'm looking to mix things up a bit. Listening to your podcast has given me a lot of fun ideas and I'm planning a big night surprise for my wife's upcoming birthday. But I need a bit of help. I want to get my wife a womanizer, but there are three versions and I wasn't sure which one to buy. Any recommendations? I also have a question about Kegels. Is there a way I can gently encourage my wife to do Kegel exercises without offending her? She's completely wonderful and we have two children. I was looking at the intensity, but was unsure how that would come across. In short, I'd love to know which womanizer you recommend and how I can give my wife the intensity without seeming insensitive in any way. Love, Mike, 27, Australia. Hello there, Mike. Okay, excellent choice. Hi. Womanizer. Clit whisperer. Love it. The Womanizer, you guys, if you're just joining us, the Womanizer is an amazing sex toy that came out maybe it's two years ago now and it really is a. It's in. It's in A league all of its own. Because what the Womanizer does, it has this patented pleasure air technology, okay. That no other vibrator uses. And it just kind of like gently blows air on your clitoris. It's kind of like if you were getting oral sex, you'd be like, yep, that's exactly what I want. So the Womanizer is an awesome choice. It's a really good gift. And the truth is, Mike, the differences between the three of them is like, they're. They're all amazing. Here's the thing. You can't really go wrong because they all do the same thing. Each one is going to feel amazing. You're going to have. She's going to might have the 60 second orgasm. Everybody in their studies were like, oh, my God, I had an orgasm in 60 seconds. And people are having multiples, so it still has that same feeling. But there's a basic version that's just like their basic, like, you know, least expensive version does the same thing. There's also, you know, as you pay more, it goes up, there's more levels, there's more intensity. The. And there's just different sizes. So really it's about what you want to spend. So. But they're all amazing. So there's the compact one. There's a new one with the handle, has a longer handle if she wants to, like, reach down. And then there's the compact form. So, Mike, you cannot go wrong here with the Womanizer. I love that idea. She will love it. You will love it. It's really hot. She'll have orgasms. It'll be fun. Okay, Kegel exercises. I get it. You don't want to be like, hey, babe, you need to do your Kegels. Because maybe she's, I don't know, experiencing incontinence after children. Or maybe you feel like, you know, she could use some. I don't know. Everyone needs to strengthen their kaggle muscles. That's the deal. And so I'm not sure where you think it's going to offend her. Maybe she's going to think, oh, I don't feel the same. Because, you know, some women don't. They actually literally don't feel the same after childbirth. And I think it really is important for women of all ages to do their Kegel exercises. So my suggestion is, if you're getting her the Womanizer, the Intensity, you guys, if you don't know, is this amazing device to do Kegel exercises that you actually, it does your Kegels for you, you insert it inside of you, using gentle electrostimulation, you literally lay back. You can lay back for 10 minutes a day, strengthens your Kegel muscles without doing anything. Like, you could sit there, read a book, you can talk on the phone, and it does it for you. But that's kind of like a commitment. And it's intense, but it's awesome. Like, I actually prefer it because I just feel like. I mean, imagine if you go to the gym and you didn't have to go to the gym, and someone could just, like, run on the treadmill for you. It's like, the same kind of thing. But you might also, if it's, like, awkward for you to bring up, I was going to suggest that you guys could do my Kaggle camp app together, and you could do it like a competition between the two of you, which could be fun. I got this idea from a friend of mine. He and his girlfriend did Kegel camp together because you got, you know, men should do Kegels as well, and there's 20 levels, and you can have competition because my friend and his girlfriend, they were both sending him friends with both of them. They'd send me screenshots like, I'm at level six, and she's only at level five. And the thing is, you actually feel results, and you feel them strengthen. And for men, like what my friend said to me, he got to level 20 before she did, and he's like, oh, my God, I'm shooting across the room like, I'm 19 years old. Because it actually will intensify your orgasms. If you feel like shooting across the room again, like you're 19, your. Your. Your cum will fly across the room. And it's healthy for your prostate. Women have stronger orgasms. It helps them with urinary incontinence. So if you want to ease in by doing Kegel camp together and buying her the intensity, that might be a nice pairing there. And say, like, you could do this and let's do this together. But I think it's a great gift. You could also buy her kegel balls if you think the intensity is something too intense to start with. But I like the idea of making it a family thing. Kegel exercises, you guys. It's fun. Competition. Couples that play together stay together. Hi, Emily. I'm very insecure about my boobs. They are small and would look super weird if I'm on top having sex. I'm a virgin, so I only saw myself in that position in the mirror. Another insecurity. But my boobs are the bigger problem. I'M content with the rest of my body, but I do not feel sexy because of my small boobs. I feel like a child most of the time because I wear bralettes. Wearing a push up bra is uncomfortable due to my small breasts. Plus no guy could grab them because there's nothing there. What should I do to feel sexy and good about my boobs? I don't want to get any plastic surgery. I want to love myself the way I am. I just don't know how. Thank you. And I'm sending you tons of love from Slovenia, Tanya, age 24. Hi, Tanya and Slovenia. I don't know if we got from anyone from Slovenia. I don't know how many we've gotten in, but I. Welcome to the sex family. Tanya, I love your question because here's the thing, you're asking it. You sound really healthy and really positive because we all have things we don't love about our body. I get it. But I love that you know that it's possible for you to love yourself the way that you are and that you don't know how. And that is just such an honest admission. And that's where so many of us are, you know, throughout our lifetime. So the first thing is, you know you're already on your way to loving yourself by recognizing this. And first you just have to understand, like, your body is already perfect the way it is. And here's another thing I'll let you in on is that of all the studies we did on sex and all the things I've talked to people about and all the emails we've gotten, the number one, hands down sexiest thing that men and women report is confidence is the sexiest trait that someone can have. That's it. It doesn't matter about their boobs. They're not like, I want a sexy ass. They're like, confidence. So the more that you feel amazing in your body when you're having sex or just when you move in the world, the better you're going to feel. And your partner is gonna love you just as much as you love yourself. That's also a bigger message in life. Like, nobody's gonna be able to love you until you really love yourself. And then they will meet you with that love because you'll never take less than that. And if they don't love you and they don't love your breast or whatever it is, they're not your person. Okay? But I know this is easier said than done. You've had like a lifetime of being like, why are my Boobs so small. Why'd I get, you know, boobs? I don't. I don't love my boobs, which I totally get. So there's a few tips that can help. I think journaling is super helpful, and I'm gonna actually do two things. First, I want you to just write down all the things that you don't like. Like, get those negative thoughts out. If you don't like your boobs, they're small, you don't feel sexy. Like, write it down. And then I want you to write about all the things that you love about yourself. This is the important list. I want you to look in the mirror and look at your body, and I want you to just try. Even if you cry and you hate it at first, look at it and look at all the amazing gifts that you have. You could, like, love your ears. You might love the curve of your neck. You might like the way your eyes sparkle. We all have, you know, you might look at your strong legs. Like, we all have things about our body. We can all find something that we love. And then I want you to think about those things. Focus on those thoughts. So whenever these. These things come up in your mind and you're like, ugh, I hate my breasts. I feel unlovable. Whatever it is, go back to those, even if you have to print them out or post them in your room and be like, God, I love. You know, I love the way I stand up straight. I love my body. I love my arms. And. And you're going to help reframe the message. You're going to help to just, you know, rethink about the way, like, replace your thoughts. That's what it all comes down to is replacing those negative thoughts we have. So you can. Even when you do the part of the journal about what you don't like, another level of that is saying, like, how true is that? This is what I'm telling myself. Nobody else has told me that. And maybe someone did. Maybe there was a guy who teased you. You'd be like, oh, yeah, it's because that guy's teased me often. We adopt things that other people say or things that we believe in the universe that actually aren't even true. So you can kind of dismantle all those negative thoughts, but then we're just gonna really focus on the positive. The things that you love about yourself, you replace them. And then your self confidence will grow, because cultivating your self confidence is the most important work you can do. And having gratitude for what you have, having gratitude for like all your beautiful God given gifts and you gotta commit to this process. And as much as you're loathing your breast and you sat down, you wrote me an email and you're worried, you know, you're a virgin, you're thinking about it. If you can just start to catch that and replace that with all the things that you do like about yourself and with time, getting to know your body. Because here's the thing about small breasts. They're amazing. Like, there's a lot of, you know, people who have small breasts. Men love small breasts. Men like big breasts. Just like penis size, it doesn't really matter. It's how you feel about your breasts. Okay? And here's the other thing, Tanya, who says your small breasts, I'm sure they are sexy as hell. So when you're masturbating, I want you to play with those breasts and, and figure out what makes you feel good. And then when you're with a partner, I want you to grab them and show them how you want them to be touched. And you're just gonna love your body, you're gonna love your boobs. They're totally fine. You're awesome and I know you got this, It's a journey, but you are up for the task. Hey, Emily. I emailed you previously and asked about how to begin casual hookups with friends. You gave me some great advice. I took your advice and ended up having sex with one of my friends who I've known for almost three years. There's always been a bit of a spark there. And after we kissed a couple of months ago, we've been much closer. We've been flirting non stop and ended up having sex two weeks ago. My problem is that since then he's been distant. I haven't seen him since and we haven't had a real conversation via text. He's been taking a couple of days at a time to reply. Even then, it's no more than a couple of words. He did ask me if I was busy last Saturday night, which I was, but that's about it. Do you think he got close to me just to have sex with me? This is a pattern that I've seen a lot recently. Guys act really interested and flirtatious, but when it comes to a date or anything sexual, they back off and ghost me. Any advice? Thanks and a shout out to Madis Anderson and all your amazing guests. Lydia, 18, she's from Manchester, UK. My love goes out to my heart goes out to Manchester right now for everything going on there. Hi, Lydia. Okay, here's the thing. Are you listening on Spotify? Thank you. You guys know you can listen on Spotify? It's pretty awesome. Okay, well, I'm glad my advice helped. I'm glad you went ahead and kissed a friend, because, let's be honest, don't beat yourself up for whatever happens with you guys. If there was a spark with a friend and you both feel it, you gotta act on it. Because then you'd just be thinking the whole time, we're friends, and why haven't we done anything? So I'm glad you did that. I can't tell you what's up with this guy. I can tell you this. You deserve to be treated with respect from every single guy that you're with. And that's a lesson that all women and men can learn. You know, the earlier that you learn this message and you realize what that feels like and that you deserve it, the healthier the relationships will be. And, yes, the ghosting and people disappearing after you have sex with them has happenings and the beginning of time. So I really don't know if this is a ghost or what this is, but I'd say you're 18 years old. There are, like, you know, people might not be looking for commitment as much, but if you guys are good friends, what I would say is that it would be great with him or in the future. And I'm not even sure that he disappeared on you is to talk about it. Because if you guys are really good friends, you don't want to mess us up. Mess that up. So you could say, hey, I know we're, you know, we're hooking up now, but I still, you know, our friendship's important. Or, where are you at? Like, before you enter into the casual sex thing, you'd be like, where are you at now? Like, are you dating other people? Do you want to see other people without being like, I need a ring and I want to commit? But you could just say, hey, I'm wondering, like, you know, if you guys are friends, you could find this information out. Because I think if you find that guys are ghosting you, maybe these are guys who aren't are just looking for casual sex. So the more you can find out about that ahead of time, the better you are. And I think there's some signs that you could tell if you have your eyes open. And you might also be giving out the signs as well. Because if this is happening to you, think about it. You're also in these relationships with these guys. So you could be Making choices that are maybe based on having a little bit more information. And now I get that he's your friend and this kind of hurts. But he did circle back last week. Oh my God. I feel like I'm with my friends. We all exchange texts, like, what does this mean? What does this mean? But I feel like he probably is not gone. You've been friends for years, but next time you see him, you can just say, I hope we're always friends. I want to keep maintaining our friendship. I know we made out, fooled around, or had sex. Let's talk about that. And how can we maintain and preserve our friendship? So I think you're good, Lydia. I think you're good. Just keep your eyes open in these friends with benefits relationships, which can be tricky. Hi Emily, I love your show. Listening to you has totally changed my sex life for the best. I'm a married mommy and I'm truly in love with my husband. I love the sex. And thanks to you, the little issue we have during sex has been resolved by following your tips. God, I want to know what that issue was, but I'm still so glad it got resolved. Okay, here's my not long ago, I made out with a good friend. She's also married and has children. The makeout session happened when she and I were with some other friends, including both of our husbands. Drinks were definitely flowing. My husband wasn't in the room when we started making out. My friend's husband was there and he expressed that he liked it, encouraged us, and according to him, we had done this before. I guess it was another crazy night that involved even more drinks. I really like making out with her. However, I'm not sure if I'd go further than just making out. This is the first time I've ever made out with a girl, and I'll definitely do it again. I'm just not sure how my husband will take this. Will he think I'm cheating on him? Does this mean I'm bisexual? How can I discuss this with him? Is it cheating if I go any further? Or is it normal for friends to make out and play around with each other? I fantasize about her. I only want to have sex with my husband, not with a girl. Thanks, Annie. 36, New Mexico. Okay, Annie, awesome question. Here's the thing. I know that you love kissing a girl when you're buzzed. That's a really common scenario. I'm not going to label you as bisexual right now. I'm actually not going to label you as anything except for, you know, you like, to have a few drinks on and kiss a girl. Now, I can tell you this. It is disrespectful to your husband to be making out with a woman, and he doesn't know that's still cheating. And so what you got to do is talk to him. You know, you never know. It wouldn't shock me. He might have the fantasy of you being with another woman. And he may be like, hey, let's all get together. And it sounds like, you know, he might be like, hey, let's explore. Let's do this together. But I also want to back up for a second. You don't even remember the first time you made out with this chick. Like, you're like, oh, apparently I made out with her. Apparently, I need drinks flowing. And I'm telling you, there is something about the, you know, the lubrication. You know, I love lubrication that alcohol provides as well, and that, you know, our inhibitions go down and we tend to do things that we wouldn't normally do when we're a little bit more sober. So a few things here. I would talk to your husband, Just let him know this happened. You know, he's your husband, and you love him. It sounds like you have great communication and great sex and bake. Listen, babe made out with a friend the other night, and this happened. You guys were there. You didn't see, whatever. And I think about it now. I fantasize about it. What would you think about that? Like, I'm not even sure, you know, I'm not sure what it means, but. But it's kind of hot. How would you feel about exploring together? See what he says, and then you go from there. If he's like, absolutely not. That's cheating, or I wouldn't want to do it. Well, then you have your answer. It doesn't mean that it's definitely a no, but you can continue to work on it with him and see what would feel right and see if this continues to come up for you and also see if it continues to come up when you're a little bit more sober. Okay, Annie, let me know how this one goes. You never know. Could be a whole new opening to your new sex life. Or maybe you just take that energy and channel into the sex life with your husband. Hello, Emily. This is from a Scotland fan. He actually wrote Ello. I'm a big fan of the show, and I love all you're doing to help promote sex positivity. My question is a simple one. Can you share any tips for how to Keep my penis clean. Being from Scotland, it's very rare to find a circumcised guy. It's just not something people really do here. Being uncircumcised, I'm always worried about what is the best way to clean myself and avoid smells or build up of some unwelcome smegma. Yes, smegma is a real word. It is, guys. So keep the great work love from your Scottish fans. Noah, 22, Scotland. Hi, Noah in Scotland. Okay, this is a great question. This is going to help everybody. I love it. So men who aren't circumcised, you guys, do you have to take special care of that extra foreskin? It is true. And that's just like the loose skin that covers the tip of your penis. So we all have to practice great hygiene. So important. We want to protect ourselves and protect our partners. And so here's some tips for your uncircumcised member. You just want to make sure. And you probably already doing some of this, but you want to wash it every day with warm water. You want to pull back the foreskin, rinse the glands, you know, the head of the penis and inside the foreskin. And then, you know, when you're finished, you can pull back to its original position, wash the base of the penis, like in the testicles. This goes for all men. Okay? And as for the smegma, guys, you want the actual definition? It's that substance that lubricates the area under the foreskin. So it's totally natural. But if too much develops, which could happen, you know, from like a bacterial infection or something, you'll have this unpleasant odor, you guys, and it could make it more difficult to move the skin back. So that does encourage. If you have access, it could increase bacteria, which can lead to infections and all this other stuff that's not so fun. So again, good hygiene, you clean every day. You will have no problems. How about that? All you need is some warm water, soap, and pay attention to it before you have sex in the morning, after you sweat at the gym. And honestly, you guys, not that different for everybody. Women, too. We want to be clean. We want to just, like, wash down before we have sex, you know, and it makes everything better, you guys, because. And also using condoms. We all know that, right? Safe sex, really important. All right, guys, thank you for spending my birthday with me. This was awesome. Made my birthday even better. And thank you all for being part of the Sex with Emily family. I look forward to hearing from you. Thanks for your reviews and your questions and just for being so awesome and for making what I do possible. So I love you all and thanks so much for listening. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwith emily.com.

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