Casual Sex vs Making Love with Jessa Hinton

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Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex.

Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them, in a bygone day.

Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken.

He thinks you're kind of cute. A girl's got to have her standard. Oh, my.

The women know about shrinkage.

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean, like laundry? It shrinks.

Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me?

Oh, my God, I feel so good.

Being bad feels pretty good. But, you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and Everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com you can check out all of our podcasts, our blogs, our videos. We update that goddamn site every day. Oh, and we have a new website like launching this Moment, so check that out as well and sign up for our mailing list because we give really good emails. And I love you all. Happy New Year. Thanks for listening. And I'm here with Menace. Hello. Hi.

It has been a while.

I know.

Since we've been together, and last time I saw you recorded the live show, which was amazing, by the way.

Thank you.

It was so much fun.

Thank you. I know. I'm really glad. I was just having, you know, a few panic attacks beforehand.

Oh, yeah. I was there to witness it.

I know. I was in the green room. I was nervous. Cause I was giving, like a monologue.

Yeah.

So Menace gets there, so. Hi, Jessa. So Jessa, in here. Just dive in.

Hi.

How you doing? Jessa's awesome. Jessa's hot. She's got a new podcast at Podcast one. You usually sit in this chair.

I do.

And you're amazing. So feel free to jump in in time. Cause we're gonna get to all of your ST as well, and. But we need to. So 10 years in podcasting.

Congratulations. Thank you.

We, like, started the very first year of podcasting, which was weird and amazing. Who knew what the hell it would be? But we also did a live show on CBS six months after I got a live show on CBS Radio. And I met Menace. He was working there.

Hello.

Hello.

And that's Menace. Jessa. And yeah, so I did a live show to commemorate it at the improv. And I was nervous because I was doing a monologue, like a 30 minute monologue. And in my mind, well, it was supposed to be 20, but it was 30. And I'm like, I'm gonna memorize it. But then, like, I'm a procrastinator and I have int anxiety around that. And then it was like, last minute, we're in the green room, like 10 minutes before the show, and my papers are f. Cuz I couldn't memorize. I didn't memorize. I had no parts. And Menace was just, like trying to be nice and supportive. But then he just kept getting on his phone. I kept.

Well, I just kept on getting annoyed. I'm like, you're gonna be fine. You're gonna be fine. And then after the 10th, you know, panic attack, I was over it.

And then Gary, that's such a guy.

Thing to do, right? He's not okay.

Why?

Because if I could sit there and console her the entire time.

He's not. I don't go for.

It's going to make absolutely zero difference. She's still going to have the same type of mood, so who cares?

Sometimes we just need you to listen. Yeah.

And just be had enough people around there listening to.

No. And then Gary Busey. Busey walked in.

Yeah.

It was very random.

It was such a random night.

Random. Yeah.

Like, oh, hi. He's like, are you the sex girl? I'm like, yeah, I'm about to go do my whole life downstairs. Yes. Hi. Yeah.

She's in the middle of panic attack. And then. So we're at the Hollywood Improv, and here comes Gary Busey just walking up the stairs into the room.

Yeah. And it was pretty funny. And then Dr. Drew was there. He was very kind of unsupportive, too. He's like, emily, don't worry. It's a very forgiving room. And I was like, what does that mean? They're gonna forgive me for fucking up. Thank you very much. It was great.

But I think my favorite moment of the night. I don't want to give away too.

Much, but okay, if you guys want to hear it, everyone's, like, emailing us. It's coming out in a few days. January 5th.

Yeah.

And the podcast will be the live show.

My favorite moment is a very. A long, long time emailer came to the show and we put him on stage. And that was absolutely amazing.

Jamal. Because he was actually serving in the military and he'd been emailing us for five, six, seven years.

Yeah.

All the time. Like, he's from. He was in Iraq, I think. Right. And he was. He'd always email us. We'd always answer him, Jamal. We give him shout outs. And then in the middle of the show, so I got through the monologue. Thank God. And then we're just sitting there. I'm like, what are we doing with the podcast? Because I hadn't thought about it, but it was funny and it was you. You were awesome, though. Thank you. You and Anderson were there. Anderson's my other co host. They never met. So that's weird because I do two different shows. That was another drama. Not drama, but interesting. Collusion. That's a word. Come togetherness.

Anyways, so then doesn't care about all our stories.

So. So. So what happened? She does. She looks super interesting.

I'm the newbie, so I'm learning as we're talking.

She looks really interested. So then we're sitting there in the middle. And Madison, producer Madison brings up questions from the audience and one's from Jamal. And I thought it was, like, fake. I'm like, jamal's here? No way. And then he came up on stage, and it was great.

It was super fun.

It was a beautiful night.

You have to hear it.

Check out the show. Totally.

So let me ask you about the holidays, though. Did you go anywhere?

No.

No.

I tried to. I thought about it, but I just really, like, hung out, meditated.

Just chill.

Yeah. You know, when you're Jewish, it's like, thank God no one's gonna bother me for a few days. Cause you're all under trees and stuff. I can do nothing and not care.

Is the guy you're dating, is he Jewish?

No, no, no. But he went home to see his fam.

How disappointed was your mother to find out?

I know. She's like, he's a doctor and he's not Jewish. Damn. Almost. She didn't care at all. My mom's chill. She's just like, I'm just glad you like someone for a while.

Oh, geez.

But you'd be really proud of me. I actually. So just. I want to know how you feel about it, because you're in a relationship, right?

Yes.

Okay, so. And how long have you been with your boyfriend?

Very new. Two months.

Okay, so it's new.

Yes.

Yeah, that is new. Okay, that's good. That's good to talk about. So I. I've been dating for, like a year on and off, but we haven't been because we've been committed for a few months. And I'm not a huge committer, like, at all. Open relationships, not really great. But I actually. He's someone I actually really like, and one of my issues, which I wasn't even going to talk about, but I'm looking at you going, okay, I should. Is that women like. Like. I like compliments. How do you feel about that? Do you?

I actually am not good at receiving them at all. Oh, you're not? I call my boyfriend. He compliments me all the time, and I say, he's full of shit. It's actually something I need to work on. O.

So he's like, you look hot, baby.

Yeah. And I'm like, it'll be with no makeup on, too. I'm like, you're fucking lying. Like, don't lie to me. I just. I. I'm not. Well, I give a lot, but I'm not good at receiving them at all.

Okay, that's interesting. So. Well, I Like, them, they make me feel really good. I just like to stump every once in a while. Like, I put effort in. And so I said to them, I've said, listen, I. It just once in a while, you could, like, just say, you know, hey, you look good. You look hot. Like, you know, and if. Even if you don't think it, maybe you could just say it.

So you told them that?

I did. Dude, I'm getting so good at communicating, which is what I talk about and all the time is communicate. Sure, communication's a lubrication, but yet what was his.

What was his response?

He looked at me. I said, listen, maybe you're like, menace thinks. I said, you were in our conversation. I said, menace thinks that you can't tell bitches. What if you say to them, you look hot all the time, they already know it, and they're just gonna think that they have you wrapped around the finger, which is stupid.

Which is absolutely true.

If that's the reason why you're not telling me, that's bullshit. So tell me. And then. But maybe you're not thinking that. Just tell me anyway. That's how he got it.

And then he said, do you understand? You know, who you're with? Like, that's my lifeblood. I need compliments, and that's because I'm so insecure. It just makes you live off of compliments.

Just makes you feel good. So I'm having good relationship conversations.

It's awesome that I'm in them.

Yeah, I know.

You're a don't, though.

Oh, a don't.

Okay, here's what not to do. Okay, so that was fun. How about your. The holidays? Great.

I went to New Orleans. Well, I went to San Francisco first. Went to New Orleans, and then Belize, Honduras, and Mexico a few times. You can check it all out. Crazy on my Instagram.

Right now, you're just a crazy traveler.

Instagram.com Menace. Sorry. I'll say. My other radio show, Woody show, that.

Hashtag follow in the New Year. Happy New Year, everyone. Okay, everybody, I need to tell you one thing. This toy I need to tell you about has been a game changer for my life, and so many of you have jumped on the intensity train, so we actually did a podcast on it called Sexploring a New youw. And I know that I always talk about products that are gonna improve your sex life and change your life and all that, but this one truly did. It's not just sexually, but it has extreme health benefits as well. It's a twofer. It's a sex toy and a genius health invention. It actually does your Kegel exercises for you, which are so important to stronger pelvic floor. You don't sneeze, you don't mp. You have more orgasms. And I know you all know that it's important to do your Kegel exercises to have a strong pelvic floor, but nobody remembers to do them. Nobody does them correctly. And this toy does it for you. It looks like a rabbit vibrator, but no, you actually put inside you, you put this electro stimulation gel, which might sound ooh, stimulation. It actually feels really good. And do it every day for 10 minutes for a month, and then after that, just mainten. And then your pelvic floor. You've pelvic floor muscles of steel. Check out the intensity by Pour Moi. That's P O U r m o I.com pleasure with a purpose. So this is one more thing I have to mention because I know I'm just gonna forget this because I just want to get all into Jessa here and all of us. Is that January 16th and 17th in Los Angeles at the Universal Hilton Hotel. There's the Sexual Health Expo and is the fourth one we've done in the last year. The first one was last January and took it all over the country. And it's the leading sex educators in the country for two days talking, like teaching workshops, like little mini one hours, and then like the latest and greatest sex toys. And then I think Menace and I are gonna be there doing a live. I'll be there doing a live show.

Yeah.

I'm not sure about Menace.

There's something with my work that I might have to be in New York, but they haven't told me the date yet. So if I don't have to be in New York, I will.

Jess is gonna fill in feeds. I'm just gonna fill in.

I mean, she'll be a thousand times better than me.

Anyways. We' but you guys, if you want to go to the Expo, email me feedbackexwithmily.com. tell me why you want to go and we'll give you a ticket. Each one is good for two people, so email us. Sweet. And we'll let you know about that. So. Hi, Jessa. Hello. How are you? Tell us all about you. And you're new in your podcast.

I love it. I think we just recorded our 16th episode.

Congratulations. Welcome.

Thank you. Thank you for having me. Podcast one, yeah, pretty much is anything goes. So we talk a lot about sex and relationships, and I'm no Expert. So it's actually nice to sit here because sometimes I feel like I'm fucking crazy. But then I'll get fans that like, write in like. No, I think that too.

Yeah.

So being very open minded, I understand with your whole committing thing, that was my issue, really. But being open minded, I feel that I can touch base with a lot more open minded people. It's just people aren't really comfortable coming out first and saying like, oh, well, this turns me on. Or, you know, I hate when my boyfriend does this. Until I say something, they're like, that's me too.

Right. You give them the freedom. You make them feel comfortable that there's someone else out there like them.

Pretty much.

Yeah, pretty much. And I, Yeah, when I started, I was not the expert. And I still. Sometimes I'm like, really? You know, but sometimes I just felt like if you, if something's true to you and you just say it, like there's going to be other people who are, you know, aligned. So they are. Yeah, they're vibing with that. So it's at. So Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. It's at Jessahinton.

Yes.

Get that out of the way. J E S S A H I N T O N And then your podcast, Anything Goes with Jessa Hinton.

So wait, what's your background?

Where are you from? Born and raised here, actually. I lived in Vegas a few years. Yeah. And just recently got into, I guess the industry. Later on, Playboy had found me at 27, which is like grandma years for Playboy. You were that hot and just had a kid and just got. Yeah, just got me and my husband separated. So it was kind of like the year of me, like, kind of like just coming into my own. And throughout, like my adolescence, I was more of a tomboy. I played with more GI Joes than Barbies. I never really owned being a woman as much as I do now. I still dress like this. I don't really care. But. But when I did Playboy, that kind of like opened doors as far as like, okay, well, once in a while I can get dressed up and get the compliments, you know, and feel like a lady. But that was one of the biggest things that I've done was Playboy. And I'm grateful for them and I just do a lot of other things now.

And your big thing was that you were the first bisexual playmate.

Correct.

But you think that there would have been a bisexual playmate before what year?

Everybody is bisexual with patron or vodka.

That's right, dude.

He's been saying that for 10 years.

It's very true. And you know what's weird is even.

My Sheila is the female Viagra.

It is. It is. Yes, it is. Like, that's true. Finally. The one thing that you say that I agree with so far.

Yes.

No. A lot of girls claim to be bisexual, but haven't had emotional relationships with women. They've had sexual relationships, but I could see myself settling down with a woman the same as I could with a man. That being said, some of the women that I've been into have either been bi as well, so they've kind of went more of the male road, or they've been crazier than most men that I've dated. So. So with Playboy, I think I, like, actually made out with a bunch of Playmates at the parties. And again, I was sober. They were drunk.

Oh, wow. Yeah. Are you sober now? Are you sober?

I am sober.

Okay.

Yes.

So it's. You didn't even need the tequila.

No, no, no. When I hook up, it's because I want to.

Exactly that. So are you. Are you still bisexual?

Yeah.

I mean, obviously, like, you and your partner, you got your new boyfriend of two months.

Yes, very new.

And so how did you meet him?

Actually, through Instagram. What? The last few relationships that I've had that have been serious have been from social media. And he gets so mad that I say it because it sounds stupid.

No, that's how people are meeting these days.

But it's especially when you don't have time to go out and date. Like, I don't. I don't have time. So I saw a picture of him and I was like, he's hot. I knew somebody that. Thank you. I knew somebody that knew him. And I said, hey, what's his deal? She forgot to tell me his age. So I clicked with him right away. And within the first few dates, he had mentioned something because he's from Iran. And he had mentioned something that when he came over here, they called him Borat in junior high. And I'm like, junior high, Borat? I'm like, how old are you? And he goes, how do you think? I'm like, I don't know, 29, 30. Because I'm 31. He goes, no, younger. And I'm like, how young? And he goes, I'm 22. And I was like, check, please. Like, really? And I couldn't help it. Like, he's very mature for his age, for even a 30 year old. So we just kind of kept going. And I don't ever run into the Age issue. Unless I'm telling people our age. Besides that, I see no difference in age, so.

Okay, that's good. That's good. So. So it's vibing. You're right. Age is only a number.

Yeah. And it's very rare, though. It all checks out too, online. Because you know, what people put online is what they.

Right, because you thought he was cute on Instagram, but maybe he's, you know, douchebag.

I was expecting that. And I was okay with that because I just got out of a very serious relationship. So I was looking kind of for the rebound. And he was so pretty. So I'm like, oh, he's gonna be an id. And I was hoping, I was hoping for that. And our dinner turned into a three hour dinner and we hung out almost every single day since. But it was the committing. Like, do I want to commit right now? I just got out of a relationship and I wanted to just date and be open. And I was dating a girl at the time. I was dating another guy at the time, and it kind of just like fell into place where we're like, well, we don't really want to fuck anybody else.

Wow, so then you guys are just fucking each other now.

Yes.

So what about. Do you think eventually you might open up, want to like, like bring another woman in or.

He's not into that. No. His, his culture, he doesn't understand. You know what's weird is he found a toy in my room. And first of all, toys for him is like, why do you need it? And for me, I'm 31, I've had lots of toys. And so it's kind of to stroke his ego and be like, it's, you're fine. It's just sometimes I want different or sometimes I just want to take care of myself. But to, to him, he doesn't understand how females can have sex. He doesn't get it right.

Maybe not as many partners.

I think also the culture, you know, right from Iran.

Oh my God.

He understands because we live in Los Angeles and he understands homosexuality, but I think he understands more guys and why they. He doesn't. He thinks girls are confused, I believe, when they hook up. So that being said, I've never really had a threesome. I don't think I've ever really wanted to.

Okay.

And out of all my friends, they thought I'd be the first one too. No, I'm a very selfish lover. Like, when I'm with somebody and I'm with them committing, committed, like, that's mine. And I'M theirs. And I like that about myself. That being said, I don't think in the future, if I was in a marriage for 10 years, maybe I need to spice it up. I'm not throwing it out of the window, but for right now, there's no. There's no interest.

Is good. Really good with him.

Yeah.

But about the toys.

Yeah, that's the one thing. It's like, if I go to reach in my drawer, he's just like, no, like, why? And I'm just like. So it kind of kills the mood a little bit.

Right. But you should just put it on his balls and be like, oh, that feels.

Oh, I've tried. Like, the one thing that we've. I don't know if he's gonna kill me for saying this. I don't give a shit. Is we have the. The ring with the. You put on. Yeah. With the vibrating. That's the one thing to where he's like, okay, like that.

That's a good gateway.

Yeah. Like, the easing in. But he won't go with me to a sex store. He feels weird going in there.

Right.

But the girl that I used to date, I was the first girl that she had slept with.

Okay.

So it was kind of like the. The female crush. If I were to ever hook up with a girl, be you. And we actually fell for each other. And we were all about, like, toys and trying this. And I felt kind of cool because I got to show her, like, the different things that I've tried. So it went from one extreme to the other, like, to. I was just dating her and to going like, hey, I really want to go to a sex story. This and that. I just go, no. Like, why? Like, he's. He doesn't go to strip clubs. Like, he's a great guy. But when it comes sexually, later on, I feel like we would need to really have a talk.

Absolutely. Yeah.

Because right now we're cool.

But the first few months is always the two mods are the best. Like, six months are the best. Unfortunately. I mean, it's true. Things can. A year, six months to a year. You might want to spice it up. So it's not that you require toys than to have orgasm. I mean, do you.

I mean, it's. He knows it's way easier for me to. When I use a toy. And I just watched a bit of Cat Williams where he says, like, we're up our vaginas because we're taking the little bullets and stuff to our. And we can get off in 20 seconds. And then it's like harder for the dude and you're just like, come on, I could have used my toy. And it is true.

The more that I'm saying for years.

The more that I guess ever. I know I do, I do. Honestly, I do think like a dude way more than I, than I do a female. And that's an issue too, within a relationship that I have to work on.

But I think I could do too.

So. So I would rather, and this is sad, like, I would rather take care of myself within the five minute mark before I have to go to, to work or go run errands, then block out a half an hour, an hour of trying to get off. Like, for me personally, it, it does make more sense. That sucks. And I do love the, the emotional connection that I have with the guy. But I mean, I've definitely faked it to get it over with. I've definitely with him. No, not with him.

Okay.

But in the, in the past. And it's also, I've the whole. I have a headache. Like, I feel like so cliche. Like, no, I didn't have a headache. It's just. I knew I wasn't gonna get off because I had a stressful day. It just wasn't gonna happen. So I don't wanna, I don't want to fake it for you, so I'm just not gonna do it.

Right. So then you just don't orgasm with them, but you're happy about your connection. I think eventually you're gonna. Might have to bring. Well, I like that you're using the cock ring because that has a little clitoral. It has the vibrator on it. They can hit your clitoris.

Yeah. He's very younger guys too, I found. Well, this is, I have only one exception. He's very eager, like, and he has like the great stamina, which is awesome. But he, he's so cute. He goes, I don't think I've ever like, made love. Like, he doesn't. Because for him, he's 22. He's never really been in like a super serious relationship. And he goes, can you teach me? And I'm like, I don't. You can't teach how to make love. You can. We have great sex and, and we definitely are emotionally connected, but when you make love to somebody, it's very different. And like, I was gonna sit there and be like, watch meet Joe Black. Or watch, you know, all of these, like, rom coms or these like sappy emo movies, but you still can't Fake it. So. He's such a good guy, and I want so much for us. It's just. It's only time will tell, right?

Exactly. And how would you describe making love?

I.

It's hard. No, I. Because I've been talking. It's like intimacy. It's looking, you know, looking each other's eyes. Connecting, touching. Or maybe you're just in love and then you're making love when you're not.

Well, because he said. He goes, how do you not. Because it's very passionate when we have sex. It's passionate and. And I couldn't think about how to, like, break it down, but he goes, how is this not making love when you love the other person? I'm like. And again, he goes, so you've made love to other people? And I'm just like, fuck. Like, it was just such a, like, buzz killer after sex. Because he goes, how is this not making love? I'm like, well, it's not. And he goes, well, this, you know, shitty. Like, you. You know what that is? And, like, you can't tell me. The first thing I would have said is speed. I don't feel like it's making love when you're fucking, like, jackhammer like that. Exactly. Like, we look in each other's eyes, the passion is there, but it. It's this feeling that you cannot explain. And that's what's such a shitty thing. You could love somebody and be in love with somebody. The sex might be off or just like, it was passionate but more rough. So you're just like, well, we had great sex. But if somebody were asked me, did you guys just make love? It would have been like, no, that's not what that was.

Exactly. No, I get it. Well, he'll learn. I mean, what is great sex to you, though, if you're like, God, that was great sex. What would. How would you define that?

You know, for me, it's hard. Like, I've actually. My. My therapist was actually a sex therapist, so I got to talk to her about everything. And for me, it is more of an intimacy issue to where I can have great sex with somebody and just be disconnected, and that's safer for me. And I like that. It's the whole looking into each other's eyes. It's the vulnerability that I'm just like, I'll pass on that. Like, I'd rather have great sex and ask homie to leave after than to have you stay and cuddle me, you know, afterwards and stuff. So great sex to me would be the before, you know, the, the play? No, no, no. The, like us having sex and then you going. Because, Because I. I don't know how to, how to handle the. After of that. Like, I don't know how to handle with him. Like, he. We basically almost live together, so it's different. But before, no, like, I never had that words, you can stay over, I'm gonna cook for you. And that. It's like, like, no, we did.

We did a great job. Not a nurturing.

Yeah.

Pardon? You.

Yeah.

You want to like, nurture him and like, take care of him in a way.

Could be the age.

Could be the age too.

I mean, I have a seven year old, so I'm just like.

Right. Seven year old boy.

Yeah.

And he lives with you?

Yes.

Okay. Wow. Yeah. So you're also a mom. How's that for him? Is he.

That's also another touchy subject.

Right.

I. I never believed in my 20s about the, the clock ticking. I never believed that. And also because I had my son, I felt like I kind of went through that. I got married, I had my son. I'd be okay with not doing that again because I already went through it. So when I started, when I turned 30, I would see babies, like, and. And miss the age of, you know, him being a baby but not wanting more kids. As soon as I hit 31, it was like something that I kept avoiding. And I was just like, oh, no, you don't want kids. And I didn't want it because I was comfortable with my situation. I was okay with that. But When I hit 31, I was like, why won't this go away? And it became such this, like, you know, devil and angel on your shoulder. You're just like, no, you don't. But, you know, your body's telling you yes. And that shit is real.

It's so real.

It is real. And I hate that.

So then you're thinking that you do want another one.

I definitely do. Now. Now I do. No matter how much I say I don't, I do want more kids. And have you guys seen the movie? Probably not. Nobody's really seen it. Prime with Uma Thurman.

Okay.

Yeah. She's basically 37, dating a 23 year old. And the Jewish mother doesn't approve because she's not Jewish. And at the end of the movie, spoiler alert, they date, they fall in love. He offers to give her a kid because she wants one. And at the end of the movie, she says, I couldn't do that to you because I love you. So much, and they part ways. So for me, that's what I thought. Like, and I wanted to tell him, please watch this. But I'm like, oh, he's gonna leave this with a bad feeling. But it's something that we can't force age. I was 23 when I had my son. So, I mean, I could tell him, like, I want to keep your youth, like, as much as possible.

The movie. Like, you're too young. I don't want to do this too. Yet.

Yes, that's pretty much what they had. So much passion and love and, like, their. Their situation was great to where you root for them, but it does make sense to where you want their 20s not to make the same mistake you did. But I do tell all my girlfriends, like, wait till you're 30. Because who I was at 20 is very different than who I am now.

So hard to have a kid. So you had it so young.

Yeah.

People don't realize that, you know.

Yeah. At 21, I was married. So it's like, with him, he tells me. He's like, you can't talk to me like this because you did the same thing. What if somebody told you that? And I'm like, I wouldn't listen. But I'm like, I want to shake him and be like, don't say that you want something serious right now, because this is where you should, like, he's gorgeous. He should be out dating tons of people. And then, I mean, probably if we talked when he's 30, I'd be already, you know, taken and with kids. But for him, there's so much that he should be doing, and if I were him, I would just be doing that.

So then you guys are together, but you're also saying, I don't know if this is gonna work, because I think I'm gonna want children on my end.

And he's trying to tell me, well, then we do that, and it's like, no, Like, I wouldn't do. And that's exactly what the movie is, where he's telling her, like, let me do this. And she's just like, I want it with you, but I can't do that.

It's only been two months, though, so I just wouldn't rush into it.

But, no, no, no.

But I mean, you're not.

You don't want to break somebody's heart and make them believe something. And then you should be like, well, you should have saw the red flag. It's like, the open communication for me is like, this could happen. So just go, You Know through this with eyes open. I tell them it's just day by day, like, don't plan the future.

Keep talking. Right? And you got to keep talking.

Yeah. It's the communication.

Right.

A dog, in the mean, I do.

Have a dog and I hate her. I do. I know she's a teacup shih Tzu. I hate her.

Can you. Can you give her away to a shelter?

My son loves her way too much and I'm nice to her on his behalf, but I really like, she just.

Annoying or she just.

Yeah, like, I got her because he asked for sibling and I said, you get a dog. And they bonded quickly. But she. When he's not there, she's just. She's the kind of dog that will look you in the eye while she's on your carpet.

Like, she's that dog.

She's. She's the reason those Sarah McLaughlin videos are current right now. Because there are so many days that it's just like, I want you to have one eye. Like, I'm just like so mad. But the. The mother and me and the non animal abuse person that I am just like, I'm like, all right, well, I'm gonna tell you no and then put you, you know, in your kennel. So I do all that bullshit. It's like, fuck.

I know.

It's like dog.

Right? I get it.

So, no, I do not want another dog. I'm good.

No dog, no dog. I got it. I mean, maybe a cat. Yeah. But no, I think that. Yeah, I think you're gonna figure this out. That's good. So, okay, so what else do we have here? We have so many other things talked about. I want to know. So you're in this relationship. Can we talk about the. I want to go back to the bisexual thing for a moment. Sure. Because I always have and I've talked about chicks, I guess that would make me bisexual, but not lately. Need to could do that soon at some point again. But what would you say about having sex with a woman? Having sex with a woman. That you think that is something that we can impart like to audience, to our listeners, that you think that men just don't really understand about being with women, pleasing women. What is the most misunderstood thing?

I think that what a woman can offer that men really can't or they just don't understand how to is the sensuality. Like, I feel like men are more about the jackhammering and women are more about being sensual and actually paying attention. And because I don't think it's Women know what women want, but it's. It's a. It's a connection. Like your girlfriend. You would tell your girlfriend something that you wouldn't tell your guy friend. So it's kind of like you're more into exploring without judgment with a woman than I think you are about or with a guy, because the guy's ego will get bruised. That being said, the toys. And, like, I would be more open with a girl than saying, hey, you want to first date? You want to pull this out? They're like, no. A girl would be like, yeah, bring it. What else?

What are you waiting for? Right? What toys do you like? What are your favorite toys?

See, the. The thing for me is I never put anything on the inside.

Okay.

Two reasons. So basically, vibrators on the outside. One. Yeah, exactly. One. I can't get off on the inside with a toy. It feels so foreign, and it's just not. I can't. It's gonna sound vulgar. I can't fuck myself like that. It's not for me. And the second thing is, is I was always worried about if I could get myself off, then I would never really want to have sex with a guy.

Right.

Intimacy issues or whatever, where it's like, oh, I'll just take care of myself.

The clitoral. Or. I mean, that's the ones that are the most. And that's why you use it during intercourse, because most women just aren getting enough clural stimulation. They just can't. The penis doesn't work that way. Your body. Some of our bodies just. No matter how we move, we're just gonna need a little.

A little something something.

It's just so true. So. Yeah. Which clitoral toy do you like?

I use the Bullet that's so easy to travel with. And I would. The reason why I bought the Bullet, I was at the airport and I fucking put my toy in a sock, like, in a sock to, like, pack up. And it was a carry on. I was going to New York, I think, and they opened it up, and when they opened, it was like, on the ground. And I was like, oh, my God. Out of the socket went, oh, my God. And so I was like, you know what? It needs to be, like, a little more compact. And I just. The Bullet just saves my life. So we'll just go.

It does, though. The bullet is awesome. Little, tiny, little bullet.

Yeah.

Yeah. I love the bullet. I have one. I have one around my neck, actually.

Yeah, you do.

I have the vesper necklace. It's a vibrating necklace. I should have Brought you one.

I'll be amazing.

Yeah.

And what's the speed, though? Okay.

Yeah, no, I. I want to give this to you. I'm gonna. We'll give you. It's called the Vesper by Crave. Check this out.

That sounds legit. Hold on, I'm reaching over. Wow, that's nice.

Okay. Charges usb. It's really cool.

I told you about that. My old assistant back in San Francisco, we lived in the same building, and she asked me, it's like, oh, can you help me move this bed? And I was. I was helping her move it, and then this thing fell on the ground, and I pick it up, and I was like, oh, this thing looks kind of like a bullet. What is this? And then I hit the button and it started vibrating.

That's amazing.

Her whole face has turned red.

You never want anyone else to be touching or knowing about ourselves.

So that's a necklace, though.

Yeah, it's a necklace and it charges usb. Well, I'll bring you one next time. Vesper by Crave. You can get it@goodvibes.com and then it charges USB and you just plug it in. I know.

And wear it around your neck all the time.

All the time.

Yeah. You're just. You're good to go.

Sometimes I have no water. I forget my id. But, like, I've got my vibrator on my neck.

Priority.

Always a good day. Exactly. I totally prioritize it. So that's good. I was wondering if maybe you could help us answer some emails.

Yeah.

From the listeners.

Love to.

After we give a big shout out to the people who make this show possible. Which is what we're gonna do first, right, Madison? Okay, so how we're gonna do that is going to. There they are. Okay. Speaking of orgasms and stuff, I need to talk to you about the Fleshlight. Oh, this is about the penis. Have you ever used a Fleshlight?

No.

Male masturbation sleeve?

No, but I've used the Glow, buddy. But tell me about the flashlight.

So the Fleshlight is a male masturbation sleeve. So it looks and feels like the real deal has patented skin material. So it feels like their penis is inside of a vagina or an anus. Whatever they want, they have them. A lot of them, like, modeled after porn stars, Playmates, but they also just have ones that just look like a regular. Like, you know, they look nondescript, but it looks like a flashlight. But it's a flashlight. Has a little cap on it. And, you know, we've got so many toys as we're saying, but men only have their hand. And so if you use a flashlight, it can help you last longer in bed. They've got the stamina training unit. They've got the Fleshlight Go, which is great for travel. And now there is the quick shot. So the quick shot is like the size of a camera lens. And so let's say, how do you feel about blowjobs, giving blowjobs or hand jobs?

If I really like the guy, then I'm all about that life.

You're down. Okay. You're about that life. She's in the blowjob life. So the quick shot helps make it easier. Even easier, because you can put it on his penis. You could. Or a hand job. And it just. It's a little thing. It goes around, like when your mouth's going up and down. It just. It's a suction. It feels amazing. You use lots of lube with it. Guys love it. They go crazy. So if you want a Fleshlight, check it out. Go to sexwithemily.com, click on the Fleshlight banner, use code Emily, and you get a free bottle of their award winning flesh lube. I love lube. How do you feel about lube?

I just tried coconut oil.

Oh.

It was more of a production than it was.

It was messy. It smelled like coconut.

And in the back of my head, I think of like, KY jelly as lube. So I'm like, is this gonna make me burn? Is this like. So I'm just like, this is an experiment. Let's have fun. So rubbing it on each other was great, but in the back of my head, I was like, this is the first time. I don't know how my body's gonna react to it, so.

But it reacted fine.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Cause I always think people need a little bit of a loop stuff. I like it, but coconut oil is great. And actually, I wouldn't use KY from the drugstore because it's not as good like the other brands. The ones that have a little more like, I like Sliquid or Pure. Yeah, They're a little more expensive, but they won't burn your vagina.

Okay, well, that's good.

Stuff happened. Yeah. I'll tell you, we should have brought our goodie. We'll bring you one next time we come. Okay. We're gonna do some emails.

All right.

Okay, everyone, thanks for emailing us. Feedbackexwithemily.com and we love hearing from you. And if you could just tell us how old you are and where you are writing from. Where you Live and how you listen to the show. We would love that. Dear Emily, how can I tell if a woman is being nice because of her job or if she might be interested in me? I was in my local bank, and I had a problem, and the lady who was helping me asked another lady to come over to help. The lady who came over was stunning. My dream girl. When I left the bank, I told her I ordered her a cup of coffee for her help. I asked her how she liked her coffee. She told me. So I told her I would surprise her, and I went about my day. I came back later that afternoon with the coffee, and we chatted a little. I've done this another time. Three weeks later, what kind of signs would let me know if I should try to pursue her further?

Thanks for your help, C. Ooh, that's a tricky one.

How do you know if a woman's interested or not?

Did she throw away the cup of coffee?

She's like, thanks, dude, I don't know.

Or did she drink it?

See, I have a question too, about that. So I'm with homies.

Question.

My boyfriend thinks if a girl just says hello back, the guy will take it as she's interested. Really?

That's also a cultural thing too, maybe, right?

No. Both of my exes.

Oh, both of them.

Because in our industry, I meet a lot of directors, male models, blah, blah, blah. And so if I am. And. And I'm friendly but not flirty, and the way that I say hi or the way that I interact, they tell me that it could be misinterpreted as being interested. I'm like, no, no, no. But I have a boyfriend. And I tell them. He goes, it doesn't matter. He goes. We take the slightest sign, and you smile at us, and it's like, oh, well, if something doesn't work out with the boyfriend, then I'd be the first one that she calls. So I'm kind of confused on this because my. I feel like I'm naive when it comes to shit like this.

All right, this is the first time I'm ever hearing this. But. But again, I don't hang out with a bunch of male models where women might be interested in me if I just say hello to them, you know?

Right.

So that might. You might be in a different stratosphere than the average.

She's in another stratosphere.

No, if you're in line getting coffee and a guy bumps into you, says, oh, I'm sorry, And you look back and you're like, oh, no problem. And he goes, how's your day? Oh, good. It's you continuing the conversation even though you're just being polite. That that guy might be like, oh, we're still going. So as with this guy, he keeps bringing her coffee. I, for me, I would be polite and strike up conversation, but that doesn't mean that I'm interested. That being said, as a woman, I don't really flirt or give signs. So I don't know how I would say, I'd be upfront and be like, you want to go out sometime?

Exactly.

For me, I would say that totally.

I think that he's like pussyfooting around and he just needs to be like, hey, so let's take this coffee. You know, now I want, let's, let's go to, let's graduate to lunch. I'd love to take you to lunch. What do you think? And then he'll get the answer. She might be like, no, I'm not.

Interested, or I have boyfriend or something. I have a boyfriend.

Right? And then you'll know. And then you don't have to waste all your money on coffee. Bringing this to coffee because you'll know. Because I think the signs are blurred. Because I, I think when I was reading this, like, for me, I know that I'm, I'm a very friendly person and I'm always nice to everybody. I was like, oh, hi, nice to meet you. I'm from the Midwest. I don't know if that's it, but I've, I've often, it's often been confusing to men where they think I'm flirting because I also am a little flirty. Yeah, I think I've gotten less flirty. So do you think maybe.

I don't know, I don't, you know.

You don't pay attention.

Are you flirty just by nature because you are still open minded and maybe things will happen kind of.

But you know what? I think I'm flirty by nature because this has been since like I was, you know, high school. You're like, oh, is she flirting? I'm like, no, I'm just like a really. I like meeting men, women. I'm open. And so I think that it can be misconstrued a lot. But I'm also not like an angry, like, I'll say hi. If you say hi, I'll strike up a conversation. Men, women. And so I think that it can be, you know, misread sometimes that women are interested. I think I just want to look at. And he's like, I hope she Is, I'll go for that. And so if they ask me out, though, I'll be clear. I'm like, no, you know, I'm not interested. Thank you so much. And in fact, since I've been doing the show for so long, I know that a lot of our listeners have the same exact question. A lot of guys can't read the signs from women, and women can't read the signs from men. And then you hit your head, like, years later, like, I didn't know you liked me. So I think you just gotta ask. You just gotta, like, do you want to go out? That's how you get your answer. Or, you know, are you interested? So then you just don't waste your time, like, worrying or being. Letting fear stop you too. Like, guys, like, I don't want to be rejected. Well, guess what? But we're all gonna be rejected. Like, that's part of life. That's what makes you stronger. And so just. Just go for it.

You know what's weird, though, is I feel like with all my guy friends and I've asked them, and you can, as a man, you can say for your girlfriend. All my guy friends said that they would rather their girlfriend be a bitch to other men rather than being sweet. And this is all my guy friends. So if you're in line, said, coffee line, and a guy looks over and you, you know, he says, oh, I'm sorry. And you just, like, give them, like, the knot and then. And go straight back, it shows right away that you're not interested. And he said, that's because we don't want our girl to seem available, but also we don't want that guy to be kind of confused too. Like, oh, it is open for conversation. This has been. I've asked all of my guy friends, and they said they would rather their girl be a to any other man, so it doesn't confuse the guy. And I'm like, I would feel so wrong. Somebody bumps into me and I don't say it like, oh, no, no, don't worry about it. I might even, like, touch, like, their shoulder and be like, it's okay. And like, if you take that as, like, me advancing towards you, then it's like, oh, like, that's a weird feeling.

Jealousy, I think, from men. Like, that's your boyfriend's fun and protect them.

Oh, no, no, not him.

Like, I'm saying, my exes are your guy friends. Okay? That's guys in general.

Bit extreme. The only situation where I would probably want you to be a. If there's somebody that, you know, that I don't like. And you're being nice to them. That would.

Right.

That would annoy me. But disrespect, yeah, that's very rare.

Because I could be nice. And then if I. I see that they're coming on, I'll just say, you know, I have a boyfriend. And there's even been guys, though, since I've been doing the show. That. And I realize that so many men have this issue that. And it's so hard for them to get the courage just to ask a woman out. I mean, we just hear that it can be paralyzing for men for so many. And so when I've had guys ask me out, I've said, thank you so much for asking me, you know, no, I have a boyfriend, or I'm not interested. But please keep asking women out. And, like, don't let this be discouraging. I think that's awesome how you did it. Like, I give them feedback. I don't want him to feel that bad. I give him five bucks. No, just kidding. But I'm like, keep going. Like, that's good for you. Because it's really hard.

I didn't know that. That it's, like, traumatizing for men.

That's okay.

It is pretty much.

I didn't know that either until I started the show and got all these emails and then started talking to, like, dating coaches and just getting thousands of emails over the years. That for men, it can be. I mean, yeah, definitely at a young age. Like, definitely guys. And I didn't know that guys in high school, all they were thinking about was banging you. Even in college, like, that's all. Their mind is consumed with sex. And I didn't know that either. I also didn't know the problem that they have just approaching women. And so I have such empathy now, sympathy for them, and I want to try to, like, help them and encourage them, because I just feel bad. I feel that it's also something that you have to overcome, and it's like a muscle. And once you get used to asking women out and you're like, oh, got rejected, it's okay. I'm not gonna die. Like, Menace always says, like, you're not gonna die.

Nothing physically bad is gonna happen to you. Your feelings might be hurt a little bit, but you just move on to the next.

Right. And it's a lot of younger guy thing. I mean, some guys suffer into their older years.

Yeah. I mean, you get more and more confident as you get older.

Yeah. So I just want to help them out here. Okay, we got an oral sex question, which is my favorite topic. Dear Emily, I'm having casual sex with a friend tomorrow. I'm bringing condoms, lube, etc. But I'm not sure if I need to bring anything else. Also, I'm scared of eating out. When I've been in this spot before. I've been that guy who's refused, pussied out. Now I'm fully aware that she loves oral, period. What the hell should I do? How should I prepare myself to do something that I know it's going to be hard? The smell, it's new. And perform well, at least decent. Sincerely, Matt. Longtime listener, first time going down. I think he's got to stop psyching himself out because whenever you're trying something new, you have to work through your fears, get out of your head, let go of expectations. She knows that you haven't done it. Like, it sounds like they're friends. And she's really into oral sex. And the good thing is that he's with someone that could be a teacher, I think, and he could just be like, what? What do you like? But first, go slow, warmer up. Do the regular foreplay things. Don't go dive right for the clitoris. Don't you agree that if you're not warmed up and guys go right for it that you can just. Can be uncomfortable? Do you feel that way?

Yeah, but I am right there with him.

With him. You're scared. Yeah. Well, you've got. So what would you say? Or I'll say sex tips to get on a woman.

I don't give head unless I'm in a relationship.

So.

And I don't expect the guy to do it to me because I'm not going to do it to them. It's a respect thing. So it's like, hey, homie, I'm not going to do that. So you don't have to. Sometimes I do think foreplay is overrated. And I think that when you're caught up in the moment, you just go straight to having sex. I'm okay with that. That being said, if he does want to do that and he wants to enjoy it, then a friend would be the best person to test it out.

So what. What are your best tips for oral sex on a woman?

On a woman? Well, for me, what I like, and guys don't really do it as often as they should, is fingers and tongue. Like, a lot of guys just think that the Alphabet with their tongue or going from the clit, it's just there's the woman's so complicated. I'm jealous of the guys being able to get off no matter what. No. And that's something that I've always envied. But for us, it is like a Rubik's Cube, like, and it sucks for them.

See?

Best guess ever.

Menace always says that vaginas are the Rubik's Cube of life.

Yeah, it is.

He loves you. He doesn't really like anyone.

And like, I. And it sucks because I am a woman and I want to have good oral done to me, but at the end of the day, the chances are it's probably not going to be as good as having. Having sex.

Yeah, I gotcha.

So, I mean, I'm kind of giving him like a. Hey, you don't have to. Because she might like it, but she also might be super sensitive. And it's easy for her, but for all the girlfriends that I've talked to, we enjoy it, but we wouldn't choose it over sex, like, at all. Wow.

Because sometimes I said I would straight up, straight up not be with somebody if they didn't.

I wouldn't be with someone if they didn't want to. If they didn't go down on me.

She's all about it.

Yeah.

Is it an ego thing?

Oh, no, no. I. I love it. Like, it warms me up. Then I can have, like, more orgasms during sex if I already had, like, knock one out during oral. It gets me, like, super turned on.

I get more turned on by giving the guy that I'm into head than him touching me at all.

Okay, so can we. This, wow, this is amazing.

You just gained like 10,000 followers.

Here's the thing. Just hitting follower on Twitter.

So many men and women don't feel that way. And they think, in fact, women all the time. Like, how can I learn to enjoy it? Like, how can I get turned on time?

And you know what it is? And again, like, I. I can have my guy on the show or whatever. So we could not be dry humping or anything. And if. If I go down with him and that's the first kind of interaction we have sexually, and he puts his finger down there, like, I'm good to go. Like, it's just. And so it's like an actual. There's proof. I'm not just saying, like, oh, yeah, I want my man to be happy. It's like my body tells me, and it's me making the guy that I care about or the girl that I care about feel good. And that's something that, again, with intimacy is weird for me, but as long as they're feeling good, that turns me on. I think with guys too, when guys enjoy going down on girls or getting a girl off, that turns them on. The second a girl says, I'm gonna come, they're like, oh, me too. So for me, 100%, I would rather me give the guy that I'm into head than him going down on me.

Oh, okay. And you're still having pleasure during. During sex. That's. That's amazing. Like, I always tell women, like, you know, it's an extension of someone that you. You like or that you love and their penis, you know, get into the moment of giving them pleasure, because that can feel really good. But if people aren't in that mindset as being a giver, you know, you can't talk them into it. But I think that that's. That's great. And you're a great example of that because just don't get it. But I think for him, you know, but the basic tips are just, you know, make contact with the clitoris. Start very slow. Rubber thighs, lick. Lick lightly.

Yeah, the kissing on the inside of the thighs, that's like.

That's amazing.

Sometimes better than the clit. It's just that. That feeling, you're just like, ugh.

There's so many nerve endings everywhere. It's not just the anger 8,000 in the clitoris. It's, like, all over that region. So just go slow, use your hands and mouth and fingers and pay attention and ask her questions. She's a great teacher for you, I think. And use your fingers. She might not like it, though. Some women do. Some women don't.

That's it.

Oh, I know they don't. Some women don't.

Well, they're not all the same, Emily.

They're the Rubik's Cube of life. So I understand what you're saying.

Okay. So we could get into another email.

Oh, yeah.

All right. This one? Do you want that one? Which one do we want here? Mixed feelings over X. Dear Emily, I'm struggling to keep my relationships. Every time I date someone, it seems like the feeling on the feelings on my part fade quickly. It's terrible. My latest ex signed up for the Marines, and before he joined, I broke up with him because it seemed like the feelings faded. We're so good friends. Before he left, we spent a few hours together and talked and hung out. It seemed like he was sort of flirting with me. And then he mentioned he has a girlfriend. I sort of miss him, but I don't know whether it's because I'm jealous he's with someone else, or I really miss him. He's a great guy. He's at a boot camp now, gets back in 10 weeks, and I need to figure out what I'm feeling before he gets back and I possibly make a huge mistake. Please help me. I'm tired of feeling fading and then feel him again after a few months. I know in Oklahoma.

I mean, can I just jump in? I mean, she didn't hang out with the guy for a while, then she got to hang out with him again, and it felt exciting again, and it'll just fade away, you know?

Please help me. Assigned every girl.

Yeah, exactly.

He's so cool now, and I miss him. And then you're back with him for a couple weeks and you're like, oh, now I know why I left him. You know?

Yeah, it's classic, right? You like someone and they go away, or you hear they have another girlfriend and you get attached again. I mean, I think this is like classic attachment issues that a lot of us have that you, you know, you get. That you get it. We get attached. And she might be. Also be having some intimacy things too. Intimacy issues. Because when you. When you. You get something that you think you want and then you have it, and then you realize you get closer, your feelings might fade after that as well, because you're like, oh, I already got it, but I don't want to get closer. It could, you know. So that's kind of an attachment slash intimacy thing. And it's also true. And it sounds like she's younger. She might be young. Early 20s, I'm guessing.

I mean, if he just joined the Marines.

Right. Let's just say that. So I think that she probably realizes what? Just okay. That she. Yeah. I don't even know what's happening here.

They're on the computer at the same time.

Yeah. Because I wanted to find it. It just, like, jumped around. I don't know what happened.

Like, Madison can control. Just to let everybody know what's going on. Madison can control by document.

And I wanted to read what else she said here.

So I'm guessing she's young. I think she just gotta, you know, take a step back because you already ended it with him and now you're classically stating that he's got a girlfriend, and so you're. Now you're interested again.

She's a woman. Just go somewhere and say you're available and you'll find somebody. It's easy.

Yeah, exactly. And the feelings going up and down, that's something that we all deal with until we. We don't. Until you meet someone and you're ready, and you just might not be ready right now, but don't. It's got a girlfriend. Let him go with that.

You don't need all that unnecessary drama for someone they think you still might like.

Well, I think also you have the other side where it's. Maybe they broke up for stress, you know, release reasons that we don't know about. And then she starts, the whole grass is greener on the other side. She goes, it shouldn't be this tough. I'm all speaking for her. It shouldn't be this tough. And she goes, let's just part ways, because clearly we're better off, you know, without each other. And then you start to date, and maybe he's also just into it, you know, jumped into a new relationship, and you're like, wait a minute. All of these, like, weird things. I have to start over with somebody else. We should have just fixed what we had. Because what we had is very different than all of the guys that I date. And the second that another girl is present, you're just like, he was a good guy, and maybe I up, Right? So, I mean, it could be the realization, like, oh, somebody else will value him, and I should have. So. And I've been in that situation to where I've just been kind of like a bitch, where I'm like, it's done. Like, get your. Like, we're over. We shouldn't be fighting as much as this. And, like, it's. It's like everybody else does, but with social media, we see the relationship goals and we see everybody else in this happy picture. So we're like, well, I'm gonna find that later on if it's not with you, and you're not gonna bend to me. I'll find that it's like, no, no, no. Relationships are work. If you love somebody, you have to do it.

It's true.

So it could be that for her, maybe she's just, you know, miserable being alone, so she wants to be back with him. But I think it could be a real realization of, like, hey, we were good together, and maybe we should have worked on it.

Yeah, that could be it too. That's a good.

I agree with that. I think a lot of people just give up too easy.

Agreed.

And then they feel sorry about it.

They give up. But then also, what do you think about. I know. I love that you met your boyfriend over Instagram because again, there are so many ways to meet people now. And you made a great point, surprisingly a few weeks ago where I always do you.

Just kidding.

You always do. But it was awesome because we were talking about, and there's a lot of talk about about this lately, how social media has changed the way we date. Not just online dating, but even beyond that now that even if you're like you were saying, you're sitting on your couch at home alone, you still have 10,000 people you could have access to just sitting there and text and like, and poke and all that stuff. So there is this certain, like it's not working. But there's 8,000 other people I could date right now that are all liked my photo.

I hate it.

You do?

I hate it for relationships. I mean, what is my ex say? A shoulder to. A shoulder to lean on or a shoulder to cry on is a dick to ride on? So it's like all of these people on social media that look great in the face tune and morphing their, their bodies and their life is so glamorous. The second that you and your girl get in a fight, you can just go there and be like, oh well, that bitch wants me. Look at this dm. So I hate it for that reason. And I have met him on it, but he's a great looking guy, so he gets DMs all the time. To where it's like you have to be cautious because you are scared. It's not even insecurity on your part because you know that you're a great person. It's like one like minute fight could be like, you know What? I have 10 other or me. Like I have rich guys that are offering me the world and you do give up and then you just kind of like go completely opposite ways where it's like, oh, like it isn't as great as everybody you know seems. And this that's hot is crazy. And she's stabbing people like nobody knows what it is. But it's losing the connect with meeting face to face. The guy getting coffee for the girl role. It's so much easier on social media. But it's also a curse because it is that whole fear of like asking out in person. It's different to type behind a keyboard than to get the balls up and be like, I like you. Do you like me? You lose sight of like what was important in the first place.

Exactly. I totally agree. And that, that, that there is a certain generation now that grew up this gen you know, the younger generation that only grew up with the phones, and they don't know how to even talk. It's not even get talk about asking out, but even just how to, like, approach them and talk to him. And like, I was at a concert. I went to Acoustic Christmas. Acoustic Christmas, the K thing. And it was funny because there was like, pockets of women that were. We were like in the back, the vip, whatever area, but there was like, lots of women that were like, you know, probably 22, early 20s. And they were all like, pot. Four of them, little. All on their phones, like for like an hour. And it's like. But there were guys around and you could meet. They're like, bond look really good on Instagram for some people out there in the world. But yet there was all these other people they could have been talking to. And it's just like. It's a safety shield.

Even like when you go to dinner, lunches, the girls, you know, the girls or guys where. And I yell at my boyfriend for this, where they're. We could be talking and their phones there, and they see like an Instagram pop up or like a Snapchat thing. They're just like. And you're like, mid conversation. And the people that you're there with, like, for me, whenever I go to dinner, it goes in my purse. And that's something that I want to teach my son. And somebody's like, well, did you get your son a phone yet? I was like, my phone. My son's seven. They're like, yeah, my son has had a phone for a moment. Like, are you kidding me? And I'm the crazy one. I'm like, bitch, I didn't even have a beeper. Like, I, like, I had to walk to school hoping that, you know, I wouldn't get, you know, picked up by somebody. Like, the fact that we're giving the youth this early and the DMS that I get that are the most pervy are from kids are from teenagers, where you're just like, go back to school, do your homework. And it's nasty things that they write. And I actually posted, and I felt bad. I posted a blast of every single pervy kid. And I posted on Instagram and on Twitter and I saw. Said, whoever is raising these boys need to actually take more time away from their job and focus on raising them.

With their handles.

Yeah, with their handles. I mean, it was like things that not even the dirtiest. Like, one of my guy friends talking to one of his boys would say.

Like, it's bad because they're learning it.

Important and so young. And they're also. There's no balls. Say that to my face. Yeah, you would never say that. That's what I'm saying. And that's what. That's what we're teaching our.

You can even come and ask you to take a selfie if they saw you and they were a fan. But they could send you things like that. Yeah, I know. Yeah, that's a good point. Well, yeah, don't get your kid a phone for a while.

Nope.

Okay, Jessa, everyone should check out your podcast. Please get it podcast one and tell me we're gonna have all of this on my website as well. But what can people look for, like, in your podcast coming up? Anything. Great shows. Anything Goes with Jessa Hinton.

I'm actually going to have my seven year old on. Oh, so that is literally like Anything Goes, like one week. It's relationships. Yeah. He definitely wants to break into the business. And, you know, the Bill Cosby thing. Kids say the darndest things. Yeah. Oh, this. This kid. So I'm gonna actually have him on around the holidays, and we're gonna talk about all the things that he got that he wanted for Christmas that he didn't get for Christmas. So. Yeah, so that's the next thing I have.

Okay, great. Well, thank you so much for being here with us. So thank you. And thank you, Manus.

Thank you.

Thank you, everyone. Thank you, producer Madison. Thank you, Lori. Thank you, everyone, for just being you. I love you all. Thanks so much for listening. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com.

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