Compliments & Orgasm Confidence

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Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions.

Bedroom eyes, they call them in a bygone day. Hey Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just.

Got his heart broken.

He thinks you're kind of cute. A girl's gotta have her standards.

Oh my. Do women know about shrinkage?

Isn't it common knowledge what do you mean?

Like laundry? It shrinks.

Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me?

Oh, my God, I feel so good.

Being bad feels pretty good.

You know, Emily's not the kind of.

Girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, check out sexwithemily.com. you can find us on all social media. It is Sex with Emily across the board. Instagram, Twitter, Facebook. We love seeing you there. Intentions with Emily. So starting this year, I've decided that we should all set intentions before we start listening to the show or even if you're doing it right now. And what I mean is, when you're listening, think about, like, why am I listening to this? What do I want to get out of this show? Maybe you just want to be entertained, and that's super cool. Or maybe it could be like, oh, I actually like the idea of compliments. I need to figure out how to take a compliment. I realize that I crave them, but when people give them to me, I just brush them off. Or could be I just wanna be a more thoughtful communicator. My intention is to, for the show is to give you all more communication tools that, you know, help you help your partner out. Maybe your love language is words of affirmation. I had to find out that, like, oh, yeah, I really. I am words of affirmation. And so I need that from a partner. So if they're gonna gimme the communication and they're gonna give me these compliments, I have to learn how to take it in myself. All right, guys, enjoy the show. How do you give and receive compliments? So I feel like compliments are so interesting because I feel like we all sort of cr. Many of us do or we say we don't because we don't know how to take them. So I think there's some of you, like, I don't want compliment because it feels so awkward. I think that we feel like somehow we're less than or we should make ourselves small. And when we receive a compliment, we have to say, like, oh, this old thing. Like, as women, you're like, oh, I got this on sale. Like, if someone compliments your dress or really, I just. I just threw myself together. But I think it's also how we feel appreciated in relationships. And I think a lot of times we just feel underappreciated. I mean, in a lot of places and the same receptors. Here's the interesting thing about compliments. The very same receptors light up in our brain when we get a compliment, are activated when we get a monetary warrant. So you get a bonus at work and your partner tells you you're hot. Either way it lights up.

I like that.

Or your boss says, good job. So it also benefits. And the more we compliment people, the more it makes us more optimistic as well. Like, it actually, it's like, you know, they say it's better to give than receive. Start giving compliments when you're out and about, when you're seeing something that you appreciate about somebody. And I feel like it's funny. So when I was in San Francisco, I was sitting there with my friend. We were sitting outside waiting for an Uber, and there was this really pretty woman. And she was like, she was just this beautiful. I was watching her on the curb. She was talking to this guy. It was like very San Francisco, which is the fleece capital of the world. Yes. She's like wearing a backpack and like a Patagonia, and she was these like leggings on. And she was just so cute talking to this guy. And I swept her. I was like, I just want to tell you that I think you're so beautiful. I love your look. She was like 26 years old or something. She's like, oh, wow, thanks. Really? Oh, my God. I'm just running around just sweating like, no, you just look great. I want to tell you. And I was like, I just think when I see something or some woman or some man, anything, I appreciate, I want a compliment. I feel like it's a practice to get into, but who doesn't appreciate it?

I love giving and receiving compliments. Like, I'm always like, it makes me feel better to know that that also brightens someone's day.

Yeah.

And it's like, cuz, like, when I get a compliment, like on my outfit even, or just like random, like, I'm always like, thank you so much.

Right.

I so appreciate that. Because we're all wearing it to make ourselves feel better. But of course, if someone notices, of.

Course, if someone notices you feel good, you're like, I got so many compliments on this. Like, it just. It just gets like a currency.

Yes.

I had an ex boyfriend, used to call him affirmation nuggets. He's like, oh, you didn't get your little affirmation nugget? I'm like, no, I did not. Oh, my God. Yeah. He was like, okay, I think you're. You're great. Or you're hot. You're doing great work. I'M like, thank you. Like, just send me an email. Like, thanks, bud. You know, it's like through email. I like that it was back in the day. This is a boyfriend I had before texting. It was email. Or maybe it was the same time, but we were more of emailers. And he'd send me emails. He's like, here's your nugget for the day. I. But he would also. So I want to talk about you guys is how to give good compliments. Because I think a. If you're not giving them, maybe you don't know how to, or maybe you haven't thought about it. So I think this is going to be unleashing a lot for people. Because also, if words of affirmation is your love language, and don't forget that we all want love in every five, all five of the ways. But. But this is just a great one to learn. And then also when we talk to you about how to receive them, but when you make them sincere, so it has to be genuine and people can tell when you're not telling the truth. But when you're, like, really sincere and, like, specific, I think it's really helpful. So, like, come up with something that you truly feel about someone. And, like, it also helps you because if you're like, for example, if you're in a relationship and you, like, really appreciated that your partner every day this week made you coffee and like, you were just like, usually they don't do that. Or maybe it was a few times you said, I gotta tell you that I so appreciated the way you got up early and made the coffee. It made such a difference on my way to work that I had it ready to go. Like, little things, because sometimes we just feel like, oh, they know I appreciate it. But, like, being genuine about things that really happened. If you were so moved by something, like, let your partner know. Think it feels really good, right? Genuine compliments.

That always reminds me, though, of, like in Mean Girls, when the main character's.

Like, oh, I love your skirt.

Where did you get it? And then she's like, oh, it's my mom in the 80s. And then like, when she walked away, she was just like, that's the ugly, ugliest, effing skirt I've ever seen. It's like, that's so mean. Like, why give this compliment? To brighten someone's day? But then, like, not really mean.

So Mean Girls. Because Mean Girls.

Well, exactly. It doesn't, but it does. You. You know, when have you ever gotten a compliment you felt like, wasn't real like you. It does. It hits you differently, probably?

Yes, I'm sure I have. Oh, you look so good. That kind of thing. You're like, the person hates you. Yeah.

Yeah, exactly.

Oh, my God, you look great. She's such a bitch. Oh, my God, I hate her. Did you see her hair?

I'm sure that's happened.

Can I just say something, though, also? I feel like when people have complimented me, it's because something's been different and they may have not actually liked it. Like, one day I. Pink eyeshadow. And maybe it didn't actually look good, but because it was different, they're like, oh, I like your eyeshadow.

I think. Well, hold the phone, because I'm pretty sure that was us and we all loved it.

Yeah, we liked your pink eyeshadow. We don't do that around here.

Are you trying to say something right now?

I'm trying to get clarification. No, no, but you know what I mean. Like, sometimes somebody's gotten a bad haircut and you say, oh, I really like your haircut. Maybe you're like, it did look better longer.

But no, but I thought. Where I thought you were going is those backwards compliments where people are like. Or they see you a year later like, oh, your hair grew.

Right?

Like, they really say it positive.

They're like, oh, you finally. I'm so glad that. Yeah, I've definitely backwards compliments. Like, oh, I'm glad you're wearing makeup, is what you're thinking or saying. Or something like, you know, oh, no. Now that she's not, like, this isn't about me.

Okay.

I'm just saying, you guys, what is your favorite compliment? What do you guys think about compliments? What is your favorite compliment? Do you give them? Why don't you give them? If you're stingy with your compliments, I want to know why.

Yes.

And you can call me with any sex, relationship, dating. Question, triple 894-782-77. The other thing is, you guys, you have to pay attention to detail. Look for qualities that you like. People around you. Like, practice in your environment, Practice at work. Practice. Believe me, people you work with will appreciate it. People in stores. I'm from Michigan. Maybe we overthink. Like, thank you so much. Have a good day. Thank you. Thank you. But that's actually different than compliments, too. So just being friend, you can also add on, like, I like your, like, specific. Like, that's a great blue shirt. It really brings out your eyes. Jaime, I love your hair. Every day. You guys should see Jamie's hair. Aw. She's got this amazing, beautiful mane of hair.

It's, like, big and tough.

All of y' all do great. Christina's, like, shiny.

She's got really nice, big hair.

Kristen.

Kristen's hair's nice and long and thick and beautifully black.

Oh, yeah.

Little dark brown.

Alisa, we got good hair in our team.

Yeah, your hair's great, too.

Oh, thanks.

I was gonna tell you that this.

One you can get. I have the new crunchy. Oh. Today it's straight.

Today it's really pretty, too, though.

It's a lot colder. I know.

She's so healthy today.

I got in the car this morning. I was like, your hair looks good. I'm like, thank God.

It's like, every day. You just don't know. I really. I was at a conference call. She picked me up at, like, a tent to go to a meeting. I was like, I feel I'm talking about the hair now because I didn't have time to curl it.

It looks great, though.

Thank you. I really love it. So I should keep it straight. It's easier to do it straight.

I love straight. I love wavy. I mean, I just think you have great hair.

Thank you. Thank you very much. So there you go. I feel good. These same receptors are lighting up my brain as if you paid me 20 bucks.

I feel like some people, like, you see somebody, but you like that girl that you saw on the street. You didn't have to walk over there and tell her. But I think more of us have to do that because we think the compliment in our head, but we don't actually go and do it like you did to that girl on the street. So you felt comfortable.

I did feel comfortable. She was talking to a guy. I'm like, I know how that feels. Like, have you ever. I've been with a guy, and then someone comes up. They're like, I love your outfit. Like, if I'm with someone, I'm like, you know what I mean? I was like, she's like, they were deciding if they should go somewhere. I was like, I'm just gonna go tell her. Cause I was looking at her hair blowing in the wind. She was just really pretty. And I feel like it does feel really good. Like, I know that she felt good. I felt good. It didn't cost me anything.

Yeah. And especially, I don't know if this is the same for you guys, but when, like, a woman compliments me on my outfit, I appreciate that so much more than if, like, A dude is.

Like, hey, nice hats. Oh yeah. Nice jeans. Yeah.

Like a chick. Like, I'm always just like, thank you so much. That's how you know it's like a real, real compliment.

No, it's true. I stop people in the airport. Just in the airport. I'm like, love your outfit. Great shoes. Like, even if I'm on the phone, like, great shoes. Like, I feel like I really try to point out to people. Yeah. What I like about them. And this, this, you guys. I don't know. People just don't though. I feel like there's some people I know. My mom was saying, she's a friend. She's like, I've been friends with her for 40 years, she's never gave me a compliment. Like, I think we notice when people are like withholding.

Why do you think they don't you think that?

No, I think, I think that people who don't give them maybe have like self esteem. They never got them or they don't want to. It's too vulnerable. Maybe also to be like, if I give you a compliment, then you're going to have a reaction and then I'm going to have to engage with you people. Wait, listen. Most things that we do that are upsetting other people. I don't think we're all walking around the planet trying to be assholes.

Well, not.

I think we're all trying to. No, but I think if we knew, like, oh, it's that easy. If I practice giving compliments, it'll actually get easier. Oh, and my partner will like it and they'll feel appreciated. Especially if I'm specific. You could even write things down. Oh, I like that my partner did this or I like that my friend did this. And like the more specific you are, the more people like will really actually be take it in. Like the more you see somebody like, you know, I love the way your eyes have that. I remember guys say to me like, you have this green. When they notice like this brown circle. I don't even know what it is. Something in my eyes. There's like a brown circle around the green area and they're like, I like the way you're. I'm like, oh, it's so specific. They're really looking into my eyes.

Yeah, I feel like I've tried.

I like your smile. You know the way it, the way you laugh is so sexy.

It's just nice. Like he shows more interest. I feel like when you know that they're like really paying attention, like they're like undivided attention is, like, on you.

Yeah, exactly. We have Vince, and he wants to talk about how he compliments people. Hey, Vince. Hey.

How you doing tonight?

I'm so good tonight. Thank you.

Awesome. You know, this is a great topic, because the one thing that I always do, if I get great service, whether it's in a restaurant or if I'm out purchasing something, I always make it a point to ask to speak to the manager. And the first look you get is like, oh, my God, what the fuck did I. I do wrong? And then when the manager shows up and I always do the same tagline, I go, do you handle complaints? And they go, yes. And I go, do you also handle compliments? And then whatever the person was, I always make sure that I point out the type of service I got. And what I tell them is, I said, if this person worked in my industry, I'd hire them away from you. That, to me, is the biggest compliment I can give somebody.

Yeah, Vince, that is a great. Yeah.

My girlfriend is in the service industry, and when we first started dating and I did that, it just blew her mind that I went out of my way to make somebody else's day and to point it out to their bosses.

That's really inspiring. I'm gonna do that, Vince. I like that. That's true. Cause I used to be in the service industry. I was a waitress in college. Waitress after college. Yeah. You know, it feels good to get those. That's great, Vince. Yeah. No, I love it. And then that's how she fell in love with your girlfriend. She says, you're a good person with a big heart. I like it. Thanks, Vince.

I try.

Yeah, we gotta do it, you guys. I feel like. I always say, like. I always say, like, it should be easy. I used to always say, like, give your partner 10 compliments early on when I was doing the show and be like, 10 compliments. That's so many. I'm like, but if you remember to do it once, I'm happy. Twice. It just feels good. It lights you up. It makes us feel more appreciated. And I think, like, give them. Often you don't want to hold back at all. And then you also want to be able to receive compliments. That's really hard for us, too. Sometimes we're like, oh, I can't receive them. I feel awkward. Or we feel like we don't deserve them. But I'm telling you, some of the best advice I had about it, and I've learned this to say thank you and smile. Thank you. Thanks. And then the other trick is when you get a compliment to this lighting up receptors in your brain that make you happy. Feel it. Like, if you can just go, huh, that felt good. And then in your body, be like, I feel this compliment. I'm taking it in, letting it circulate through my body, and therefore, I feel good. And that's my affirmation nugget.

Oh, I like that.

Yeah.

Just breathing it in.

Breathing in the compliment. Write it down in your journal. Journaling's all the rage right now.

Well. Cause I feel like when you say, like, give 10 compliments a day, they're like, what the fuck? But it doesn't. It's not the same compliment ten times a day.

No, you look great.

Change it up.

You look great. You look great. You look great. Right, Exactly.

It's like, okay, then it loses.

Like, your shoes. I like your shoes. I like your shoes. I like your shoes.

Well. Cause I think that's what people think sometimes. They just be like, I want you to call me pretty, but it's like, no, I want you to just, like, say nice things to me.

Say nice things. Notice. Like, I appreciate the effort. Seems like you had a really good day at work. I'm really proud of you for that promotion. Or I love the way you handled that call. That was really. That really sounded great and smart. Like, being specific. I think that that's something that I've had to work on too. Like, I could be like, amazing job. Or, you're doing great. But people love specific. I love the way you handled that. That show prep. I like the way you posted that picture on Instagram. I like the way you showed up at work today. And people really do hear it. And if you want your partner to do something and they never do it, and all you're thinking is, like, they've only taken out the trash once. Well, maybe next time they take out the trash, you're like, oh, my God, thank you for taking out the trash. That was not, like, finally, but, like, you appreciate the things that your partner does. We. I'm telling you, we all could stand to feel more appreciated and be more appreciative.

It's funny that you brought that up, though, about being specific and saying those different things. Because whenever someone tells you, like, oh, like that video that came out on the app, I loved it. You're always like, oh, really?

What?

What'd you love about it?

Yes.

You do that all the time. She does.

Oh, yeah. People are like, I love your show. Like, I'll even meet, like, people when I'M out. Like listeners. But I love your show. I'm like, what do you love? What do you hate?

Okay, fine, but what's your favorite thing? Like, I like all of it. Like, this is the podcast for years. I'd go. I'm like, okay, you love it. Yeah. What's your favorite part? What do you hate? They're like, no, nothing. I'm like, okay, but if you had to change, like, I just want to know. Anyway, I want your feedback. You guys, I always want to make a great show. I always want to help you have the better sex, better relationships. Just be honest and compliment a lot because I love you and you're looking great today. Okay, we're going to take a quick break and we come back. We're going to get into your questions.

Foreign.

Let's talk to Joe, 52 in Florida.

I got a real quick question.

Okay, Joe.

Hey, how you doing? I got a real quick question. I want the women that are listening to the show to chime in on this one. How do women feel about a man that can have multiple orgasms?

Are you underwater, Joe?

How does it. I'm serious. How does it. I mean, how does that grab you? I mean, the women.

I think I've been with men who have multiple orgasms, and I think it's great. I love it. They have orgasm without ejaculation. Is that what you're talking about, Joe?

No, I mean, literally multiple orgasms.

Oh, that's great, too. If they can do three, that's amazing. Multiple, like one after the next. I think it's a good time. Why not? More pleasure for them, more pleasure for me. I can ask. You want me to ask the women? I will take a poll. I've got four of them here.

I've never experienced it personally, but I would love to.

You would kick them out of your bed?

Oh, no, I'd be like, multiples. I'm having five. They should have more.

Exactly. See, Kristin?

Yeah. I mean, what does he mean exactly by that? Like, right in a row. He doesn't need, like, 20 minutes to wait like most guys.

Is there a fractured period, Joe? What do you mean by the multiple?

No, I mean, I mean, I mean, right in a row. Bam, bam, bam. Right in a row.

Yeah.

I mean, I've never heard of this.

Oh, I had a boyfriend when I was 25. Every time. Three.

Yeah, sounds amazing. Sign me up.

Yeah. So, Joe. No, we don't have a problem with that because we're all good. Thanks, Joe. Did that help you? Does that answer your question?

No. Yeah. Amy, I like your show, Emily. I really love your show.

Oh, Joe. Thanks, Joe. Glad you like the show. Thanks for calling. Hmm. Multiples like that, I would never, like, limit orgasms. I would never be like, the orgasm police. Like, you must. You can only have one orgasm for you.

I mean, I guess, right? I guess the only stipulation, potentially, is that, like, where is all of this cum going? I don't mind if it's on my body, but at the same time, I need to know, like, are you gonna cum three times? I need to stay still.

Yeah. You don't have to put it through.

You know what I mean? Do I need to keep swallowing? Is it in my mouth?

Yeah, one of them went in my eye. I remember that time. Like, it's all funny.

You gotta block my face.

Yeah. I didn't know to block my face. I was 25. Like, whoa. It shook my eye. I literally, like, my eye was, like, bright red.

And like, sorry.

No, that happened.

How funny games do you get some come in your eye?

It does sting. It only happened to me once. Cause I let one of my boyfriends. Cause he really wanted to come on my face. And I was like, okay, but only right before we get in the shower and we're going to dinner after. You're paying for it. And he got it in my eye, and I was like, that was the worst experience of my life.

Just close your eyes.

I did. But it's like, you know, it gets you.

I get it. I get it. Yeah.

But then, ever since then, though, literally, I've just always insane. Instinctively blocked my face, and I see.

Wait, that's sexy. So a guy comes and Jamie goes, whoosh.

Like, yeah. I just kind of. I'm just kind of like. You know, like, depending on what position we're in, I just kind. It's just kind. It's almost as if I'm like, you know, like, fainting, like on the couch, like in the 1960s. Just like, ugh.

Right?

It's just like, you can't see it if you're listening, but it's just like, over the eyes. I'm just saying, guys, multiples are good for me. That was a thing, people.

That is hilarious. Yeah. No, my guy. I mean, I just thought it was a youth thing. You know, when you're younger, you can come. There's the refractory period for men, meaning the time it takes to have an orgasm, one after another. Next is. Takes a while for men. It could be 20, 40 minutes, an hour. You get older, it could be A day for women, it can be like two seconds. Let's talk to Joanne, 45, in Illinois. Hey, Joanne, thanks for calling. How can I help? Hi.

Thank you for taking my call.

Of course.

So my. My husband's been getting. He's been trying to get me to squirt and. Is it a thing really? I mean, he showed me, you know, some videos of women.

It.

And I'm like, okay, fine, you know, but it's just not happening.

So I.

Does all women do it or some don't?

What's the thing with. I think that a lot of which is a good question. Joanne, I'm so glad you called because squirting is like all the rage. Like, I can't tell you how many just you on the show and my girlfriends in recent. I would say in the last year, I've probably. My married friends, five or six have been like, so my husband wants me to squirt. It's like a thing, Joanne. So I get. You're not alone. And it comes from porn. I'm just going to tell you. Or just because, you know, people are seeing it now and it's a thing. Can women squirt? Yeah, I believe that you can learn to squirt. I feel like. I mean, it's definitely through internal penetration. So using a finger or a toy, pressing on, like the interior, like the G spot or the internal orgasm. The internal orgasms. Internal nerve endings pressing down on the pubic mound, like right above your clitoris on the outside, you know, where your, like, pubic hair would be. Is pressing on that area can help and just like letting go. Having some towels down and just kind of breathing, having orgasms, letting them kind of go fast and penetrating you and then using it. Maybe a magic wand. For me. Like, for me. And I found many women, when you put the magic wand over your pubic mound, it's a very. It's a. It's a great sex toy. One of the first.

I've been really interested in getting that. The more you talk about, the more you want it.

Joanne, I'm telling you, you're not gonna regret it. It's always my standby. Like, I've been getting sex toys for 20 years and it's. That's the one. Like, if you have. Don't have one. I say invest. It's not even that much money. It's worth it. Think of how much you use it. I think you like it. There's three. Okay, okay, okay. Joanne, let me know if you scored. Don't put all the pressure on yourself, but figure it out together. I think it.

Well, I know he's been trying all different things. I mean, it's fun. I say, well, practice makes perfect, you know, I'm not saying I don't like it, but I'm. Sometimes I'm like, is that a real thing or is it because I've seen the thing on porn, I'm like, maybe they're just fake.

I don't know.

Yeah, just really shoot out.

Like that's not going to happen to all of you're not going to shoot out. Like gushes of the first time. Like they know how they know when they're going to squirt. And then they, like they've literally trained their bodies like this is when I'm going to thrust my pelvis up, make it look like squirt. And maybe there's some kind of fucking gun there, like a water gun underneath them, you know, we don't know. Right, Joanne? Right, right, right. Just do you. Yeah, yeah. We don't know what's real. Thank you, but. You're welcome. Joanne, let me know. It goes, I will be here for you. Now I want her follow up squirting call. Who else can Joanne call back and be like, guess what, Emily escorted. And let's talk to Dawson, 55 in Texas. Hey, Dawson, what's going on? How can I help?

Hey, great. Thanks for taking my call.

Question.

What, what is the best lubricant for my wife and I? Someone who's post peri or post menopausal for intercourse. And two, why would she be experiencing pain that doesn't permit full penetration?

You know, Dawson, because for many women who go through menopause, they start to experience more pain because the vaginal walls become thinner, there's less estrogen, and so just this sort of atrophies. And so this means that she could, she could go see a specialist around that pain. So this is what happens to many women at this age, late 40s, 50s, they get drier and then there could be some pain during sex.

Okay.

Okay. So I would recommend that she goes, say this again.

Lubrication. Then what's the best lubrication?

Okay. All right, so listen, I think your couple, you've been together a long time, you're not using condoms. I love pure pjur they make because it's a really good like if she's sensitive at all, they make a great women's formula. That's a water based lube. It's called women's Nude. And then we'll also Put this in the show notes. And then there's the pure silicone. Nude. Like naked but nude. Women's nude. It's P, J, U, R. And then there's also pure silicone lube. We love or I also like. So yeah, anything by pure I approve of. I love uber lube. Uber lube is a beautiful. Like a glass bottle that you can just leave on your nightstand. And it looks. It's just silicone has one ingredient in it and it lasts a long time. It lasts a longer than water based. We have to keep reapplying. It's. We really love uber loop. That's great for sex. Especially if she finds that she's been really dry. You can also try foria. Here's the other thing I would recommend, Dawson. Foria makes a. A cbd like pre lube that a lot. It's helped a lot of women with pain. You can rub it in. She can rub it in to her vulva, vagina about 20, 30 minutes before sex. And for women, for any sexual activity. And for some women, it's help with pain.

How do you spell the first part for you?

F O, R, I, A. You got it, Dawson. It's on our website too. We can put it in the show notes@sexwithemily.com in the show notes. Just go there right now. We'll put it for you. Thanks, Dawson.

Awesome. Yeah, Appreciate it.

Of course I'm here for you. It's easy. I got you. But it does suck, you guys. A lot of women are going through pain. 80% of women experience pain at some point in their life during sex. And they're just like. That's just another thing. My whole life has been pain or, you know, just cramping or. Sex is supposed to be bad. Not. But you don't have to live like that. Women you can get. There's like bioidentical hormones. For many women that works. There's things like pelvic floor. Physical therapist. If you've had pain at any age, it's not just women going through menopause. For many women, they have vaginismus or they just have other things that they just. It could be some trauma to their vagina. So you go in and you just work with a physical therapist like you would if you hurt your back. Check. Let's talk to Carol, 55, in California because she wants to talk about breath. Breathing during sex. Hey, Carol, thanks for calling.

Hi.

Hi. Hi there. Thanks.

I just want to say I'm 55 and I used to struggle just to have one orgasm. And ever since I started deep breathing, I usually have three orgasms each time.

Yeah, right?

It's amazing. Who knew that just breathing would. Would help?

Exactly. So. Right, Carol, that's it. So how did you learn that? Were you, like, like, just taking more yoga? Oh, oh.

Oh, so nice. I was like, did you start doing yoga more often? Like, for some people, Like, I thought, that's amazing, Carol. I'm so happy. Yes, good. Right? That's it. We didn't even plan this. She's calling right after. Josephine. Josephine. The breath work. Wow, Carol, that's amazing. Yeah, right? Deep breaths. Is that what you did? Just breathe in, breathe out, and then you're like, oh, there it comes.

Yeah, Very deep breathing. And I think I was just holding my breath. And.

Yeah, a lot of us. Amazing.

I'm happy.

Oh, yay, Carol. Thanks for calling. Thanks for sharing that. I love it. Thank you. See, it works. You know, sometimes I'm like, oh, they want something more complicated. I wish. Give you my special breath exercise breath recipe. Just breathe.

Your breath recipe comes with a lizard.

Really? I'm talking in a breath, like, because I think they would want a whole fancy. It's gonna be. Oh, do this whole trick. Like, just breathe.

Really, though.

And actually that helps with stress, and it helps before you go on stage to speak or before you go into that meeting or before you walk in the office or walk in the door at the end of the day. Like, breathing's just super helpful.

It does.

Let's talk to Christy, 55 in California. Hey, Christy, thanks for calling.

Hi, Emily.

Hi.

Hi.

I had so many things to say to you tonight. I had to call back.

Okay. I'm so glad.

I wanted to tell you something. Something funny about the sex toys. So I. I'm 55. I never had sex toys before until I met my husband seven years ago. And one of the first gifts he gave me was a couple of sex toys. And I was so upset with him. I said, how do you. You know, it's. How do you give that to a girl? And the first, you know, first present. And then he made, you know, he gave me roses, said, sorry. And it's fun because now we have, like, a whole kit under our bed.

Yeah, that's usually what happens.

Oh, I'm sorry. He goes, right. He just was so excited. He goes, I just felt like we were going to be in this, like, this relationship. I could see it going somewhere, and, I don't know, I got ahead of myself and, you know, blah, blah, blah. And then I said, you know, no problem. So since then, we use them and it makes it so much more enjoyable.

Right. I love this. Right. I love that. Christy. It's so true that a lot of us, our first thing is, oh, I don't need that bad. Or oh, like men feel bad. Like, oh, she doesn't have an orgasm through my penis and there's a problem. And that's probably. You had never used them. You're like, what does it say about me? We all automatically think it's an affront, but. Right. I always say that the mo. The most people I mention it to her got a sex toy. They never like, why'd you make me get the sex toy? It usually ends up pretty good for both people or for everybody. I love it.

Exactly. And I wanted to ask you a question. You mentioned the womanizer and that tango. We tango.

Yep.

So we were Vegas two weeks ago, and we went to that one of those stores we bought. We spent $400 and we bought those two items. So the womanizer. Well, it's great. Twice. I almost like wet the bed. Like, it made me have to pee. And I always try to empty my bladder prior to, you know, having sex or masturbating or whatever. What can you say about that?

Well, it's probably was. Or female ejaculation.

Yeah.

So I believe that the. Oh, really? Yeah, I mean, you were probably squirting, as they. As the kids say. Yeah, squirting.

Because I. I do know how to do that.

Well, that's.

Realize that.

So then I was afraid that I'm like, holding back. If I'm like, oh my God, I'm gonna. I'm feeling this.

No, that's really common for many people to squirt with that. With the womanizer. It's pretty cool because it's really tugging on, blowing out all those. Sucking all those nerve endings. Yeah. And sometimes it does feel like you're peeing, but you empty your bladder so it's. You're not urinating. It's not that. There are traces of urine. People always want to ask me about that. Like, is it urine? Is it not it? Like, first of all, it doesn't really matter. Can we get over it? Like, does it feel good? Did something come out of you? Put down a towel and can we not talk about it? Sure. You'll find traces. But I'm telling you that it's not. It's. It's. It's a different experience. The organ.

Okay.

Squirting.

Yep. Okay. Because. Yeah, I gotcha. And then the tango. I Bought that. That. I think, actually, I think the bullet, Doc Johnson's bullet is actually a little more powerful.

Oh.

Than the Tango.

I'm giving you my feedback.

No, I love feedback. Doc Johnson's bullet. Okay, all right.

That one is really. That one is great. And then I accidentally threw out the power cord that came with a Tango. Do you know how I would go about getting another one of those?

Oh, the Tango Revive. How?

Having to spend like a hundred dollars.

I wonder if you could call them. I mean, honestly. Let me manufacturer. Yeah, you could contact customer service. We're going to put the number in the show notes and you could tell them Sex with Emily sent you, see if they'll give you something for it. If not, call me back. Okay.

You recommended their product.

I did, yeah. But don't blame me. Tell me you love it. But you want the. I love their products. Everyone recommends their products. They're amazing. Okay, Christy.

Well, because.

Right, because maybe that was part of it. Because the charger, it was like losing its power.

Yes. Because I gotta tell you, for me, that bullet, it's. I bring it on every trip. It's in my bag. It's in my shower. I freaking love that bullet. However, when it dies, it's like, that's how I know it's like not as strong. So that's how I know when to charge it. Because it's still pretty strong, but it's not as strong. So I would just charge it. Get that charger and then let me know what you think because to me, it's the craziest and most amazing bullet. So thanks, Christy. Thanks for calling. Keep me posted, let me know how it goes.

Please rate us, Review us wherever you're listening to this show. That totally helps us. Spotify, Google Play, Soundcloud, itunes. Leave a comment there. We love that. And also sign up for our newsletter on our website because you're going to love our newsletter. And we have some exciting and town announcements coming up. And thanks to my amazing team, Ken, Kristen, Alisa Bryant, producer, Jamie and Michael. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com.

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