Cyber Sex, Latin Lovers, and Happy Endings

Okay, let's be real. Confidence is sexy in and out of the bedroom. And when it comes to performance, sometimes a little support makes a big difference. So whether you're craving more stamina, fuller erections, or you're just looking to level up your pleasure game, there's a tool that's been helping people feel more empowered for years. Meet Bathmate, the world's leading hydro powered penis pump. These aren't gimmicks. They're FDA registered, backed by science and designed to give real, lasting results. At Bathmate Direct, you'll find pumps that naturally support size, strength and blood flow, helping you experience bigger, harder, more energized erections over time. And because they work with water, they're more comfortable, more effective and way safer than traditional air pumps. With just a few minutes a day, the Bathmate hydro pump can help you increase size and girth, gradually boost confidence in and out of the bedroom, improve stamina and performance, support stronger erections through better blood flow. And the best part, it's all natural, non invasive and totally shower friendly. You can literally work out your sexual wellness while you wash your hair. It's iconic. Right now, Bathmate Direct is giving our listeners 10% off when you use code SW10@bathmate direct.com. that's Bathmate Direct B A T H M A T E D I r e c t.com use code SW10 for 10% off. So head to bathmate direct.com, use SW10 and level up your confidence.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily in today's show. We're answering your emails on Cybersex, Sexual confidence, dating with STIs and dating women for the first time. Plus, do single girls really get the most orgasms? All this and more. Thanks for listening.

I'm not typically the type who likes to be tied down, but there's one place I will make an exception in the bedroom. Safe, consensual bondage play adds an entirely new dimension of excitement for millions of couples. And for more than 20 years, SportsSheets has been the expert in holding them down. That's why I'm so excited. They are now official sponsors of the podcast and I can't wait to introduce you to their flagship product, the Underbed Restraint System. Quite simply, Sportsheets, Underbed Restraint System is a group of connected nylon straps that slide under your mattress, transforming any bed into a kinky playground in minutes. Simply slip your partner's hands and ankles into the soft adjustable cuffs and voila, you're hooked. And when you're done. Tuck the loose straps under the mattress. It's your little secret. No headboard. No pesky holes in the wall. No drilling necessary. If you've been looking to spice things up, there's no better way to introduce yourself to safe and comfortable bondage play. Trust me, I've had mine set up for three years now and it still gets plenty of use, if you know what I mean. Plus, there are three levels of restraint systems to choose from, giving you the option to explore at your own pace. Just check them out on their site, click on the Sportsheets banner on my website or visit sportsheets.com that's S-P-O-R-T-S-H-E-E-T-S.com and use code EMILY at checkout to save 20% off your order.

Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom, they call them in a bygone day. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cuz?

My man E here, he just got his heart broken.

He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standards. Oh my.

The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge?

What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks.

Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me?

Oh my God, I feel so good.

Being bad feels pretty good. You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

Sam.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com and subscribe to our podcast. We put everything at your fingertips. We make it so easy. You could subscribe to the newsletter, our social media, and most importantly, subscribe to the podcast. We love when you do that. You can shop my store, support our great sponsors, and of course, importantly. Most importantly, I guess check out the amazing content that we update every day on our site by my amazing team here. So I think you'd like it if you haven't ventured into the sex with only world. So completely updates are important.

You can't go back to the site and be stale. It's gotta be fresh.

It's fresh all the time. Hi, Anderson.

Speaking of fresh up, Em, how are you?

You look fresh, fresh. Daddy. Can I call you daddy? Hey, daddy. You look too handsome though. I mean, you always do. But your hair. You just.

Thank you very much. Seem happy about 35, too. Too hot. But I. I need to drop about 35 pounds, but thanks, dude.

That's always good.

Got my winter coat on. It's not. I feel jiggly when I walk. You know how it is. No, you don't.

Actually, dude, I've had the jiggle.

I gain jiggle.

No, I've gained weight. I definitely have. I go up, I go down. It happens.

You know what? Being a new dad makes you fat.

So they say.

Yeah, because when he's eating, I'm eating. And he eats a lot, right?

Or he. You eat as. Oh, he's not even eating.

Like holding a baby and putting the ball in his mouth. And I can do it with one hand. I'm pretty good. But then I get bored, so I got a free hand and that thing's shoveling food in my mouth.

I gotta stop, right? Really?

Yeah.

So you're eating just like, snap chips just to keep that.

I'm trying to bond with the kid, you know, I figure, like, we'll eat together, right? You know?

Oh, okay.

But he eats like, every hour.

So you're like, he can't eat. I'm not eating. He might be offended.

Right. And I also get a little jealous because he looks so satisfied. He does this little thing where his fists go, go, like, ball up and they like, kind of come together on his chest. Like, he is an. He's a boob hound. He's constantly on the wife's boob or on the bottle on my lap. And I've never seen a human being so look so satisfied as my. My newborn does when he's eating. Just like, not a care in the world, just absolute satisfaction.

Oh, my God, that's adorable. Six weeks, huh?

Yes.

God, I'm gonna come visit him. Well, you look great, so. And you seem happy.

Yeah.

Showing us pictures of the baby at Disneyland, like, you know, you see.

Oh, my God. Damn. So typical, huh? Look at my baby.

No, but, like, I know you would actually make fun of someone like you right now if it wasn't you.

So you guys, to be fair to me, you guys were asking for the pictures.

Yeah, no, totally. Dude, I want to come see the door. I'm going to visit him.

You want to come visit Em?

Yeah.

You know that you've been saying that since he was born.

Okay, but I was out of town for the last.

You were out of the country, huh?

I was out of the country.

Well, are you going to have some kind of, like, strange European diseases on you? I don't know if you should come to a newborn's house.

I've had a little stomach issue since Mexico, but they're gone now. I'm better now.

Really?

Totally. I'm coming. I gave you a nice present, though. But am I bad that I haven't been there?

I love the protest.

Everybody been there. Does she like it? Most importantly?

Yeah, yeah, she loves it.

It was on the list. The registry.

He likes it. Most importantly, yeah, she got me a bumper for the crib. All right, enough about that. Enough about the products of sex. Enough about what actually happens nine months later after sex. Let's talk about the actual act.

Okay, let's talk about it. I agree. Well, it's good to see you. So, yeah, things have. Things have been good. I was in Mexico. Did a little vacation with some friends.

Oh, that was just for you time.

That was me time. That was not work time. I did not work at all. I didn't check email. I had fun. It was great. It's been good around here. Really.

You did? Really?

Yeah.

Sound like you.

I know. Really? Like, I barely. I don't think I. It was.

You get hammered?

I did. No, no. Usually we go to Mexico and get hammered. This is a group of friends I go with. They go every year from San Francisco. And I haven't gone in a few years, but I went this year. But we used to be just crazy. We get there like shots of tequila from the airport, right? Like, you know, can you pull over? We just be drinking all that. But it wasn't like that. The time, it was kind of more mellow, but it was wonderfully.

What part of Mexico?

Sayulita.

Where's that?

That's outside of Puerto Verta.

You fly.

Houses.

It was fun.

And it's safe, right?

Not really safe.

Probably not that safe.

It was safe.

That's why I drink when I go to Mexico. I'm worried, you know?

Dude, really? You know, here's the thing. I feel this is probably not a great thing, but I've never had that fear.

Wherever I go, you are ultra gringo. I would be a little bit nervous if I was you.

When I was 25, I traveled around the world by myself.

You look very kidnappable. Very kidnappable? Yes.

No, but I'm tough. I did not get kidnapped and I did not get hurt.

I don't know if you can really read the toughness.

I did have a little rendezvous that I'm not sure that I really want to get into. The only one that knows is Eddie, who works for me.

What?

I took a Latin lover because Eddie. Eddie recommended it before I left. So Eddie works for me.

What did he just say while you're down there. Pick up a Latin lover.

He said to me before I left, he said, eddie, who's sitting here? He goes, you know, you should hook up with Aladdin guys. Like, they're great lovers. And I never really thought about it.

You've never dabbled?

No, no, no, no. Not. Wait. I go there. I'm like, you know, I don't know. I just wasn't.

I feel like for your job, you needed a full, like, all colors of.

Benetton, kind of like. Right. Like the United Nations. Yeah, I agree. I should. I've done a lot, don't get me wrong. I haven't just stuck to, like, United States territories, but never with the guy.

You know, I love this conversation I'm having where, like, you're, like, defending, like. No, no, no. I've slept with a lot of dudes. Don't worry.

Don't worry.

I've been around a lot of different colors and sizes.

You know how people have maps on the wall of places they've traveled? Maybe I should put a map on the wall of guys I've banged in which different countries.

My dad actually was a.

Your dad had that.

And. Yeah, he was in the Air Force, and he banged his way through Europe. He had a little map of Europe, and he would check off every country that he. That he had sex with a woman in. And there was only two countries he didn't do, Spain, because of all the Catholics, and one other. I can't remember.

He had that actually, like.

Yeah, he'd brag about it.

I just thought it was an original idea, but now I don't want to do it.

But, no, he didn't have it on the wall. Like, he had it folded away somewhere. You need to have it on the wall with little pins.

I know, but it's a fun story. I don't know if I really want to get into it now in this moment.

Well, like, the actual act.

Well, because it's a kind of a funny story, and I wasn't even gonna bring it, but let's just say.

Why aren't you gonna bring it up? You gotta bring it up some point.

I think it's so hard to truncate it because I told Eddie the whole story.

You're. You're a storyteller. You talk trunk it.

Okay. I was there, and what we did was we decided it was gonna be a really healthy trip. And I gotta be honest with you, my best friend. I was with my best friend, and she just got diagnosed with first stage breast cancer. She got Checked, had a lump, went back, and so she's like, having surgery, right?

Not a very sexy story.

Not a sexy story. But don't worry, it's gonna get better. My point is, though, to a lot of women out there who don't get checked and don't get their mammograms, all that. I just really hope that you all get checked and take care of yourself. So it actually encouraged me. I've let it slip. I haven't gotten a mammogram. I'm gonna go. So this trip was a little more mellow because she was there. We're like, she's not drinking and she's having. That's the dark side of it. But no, it was more like, we're gonna get massages every day. We're gonna run, we're gonna be healthy. So here's what happened. It's a company in the first. It has, like, a place on the beach. First day I had a massage was not good. I'm very particular about my massages. Like, I want, like, deep. Like, I want shiatsu. Like, beat the crap out of me, hurt me. I've got tension, I've got pain. And the first day, this woman's like, eh, that kind of. A lot of people like that on vacation. They just want the soft.

They should ask you, like, harder or you want it softer.

So the next day they're like, well, you. I made a massage appointment as well, but I'm like, I want it with a man. So I got there and I saw the guy and he was there, and I was like, listen, it's gotta time or I'm not gonna do it. Like, I need deep. He's like, okay, okay. I'm like, listen, like, though, really, if it's not good, like I said, just do 30 minutes. So I said, I lay down and he's like, starts to do this massage, and it's like. I'm like, no, I'm like. And I kept showing him, like, not this with the hands, this harder, harder. And then I'm lying there going, God. And he was like. I felt his anxiety of trying to get it right and understand my body. And all of a sudden, I felt the angst and the pain of every man in the world trying to understand a woman's body. And, like, how that. That anxiety. Like. Like, I want to figure out this woman. Because he knew that I was disappointed, and he wanted to be the one. Because before I got in the massage, he goes, I will help you. I will do what you want. I will do it. And I said, okay. So I could tell he was like, really? Like, I'm driven. And then all of a sudden. And then I got up. I said, no, that's not right. And then he kept struggling, and I felt the pain. It was kind of like that game, you know that game Bang, Marry, kill.

Yeah, whatever.

Like, do you want to bang this person? Do you want to marry them or.

Do you want to kill them?

So first I wanted to kill him. Like, I hate this guy. He said he was going to do it. I'm leaving after 15 minutes. And then all of a sudden, I just started breathing and I started moving so he would kind of know what I want. And then all of a sud.

Sudden, it was out.

He. He got into this groove where he read my body and what I. It was like. I was like, oh, I hope he goes to that spot. And he did. And then he got into it and touched me in this way that, like, things were releasing from my body. And I was like. I was breathing. Now you're lying down. I was breathing hot air like a dragon out of my mouth going. Because it was like he knew how to touch me in a way that I'm like, how did he get this? Like, I don't know. I just got in tune. He got in tune with my body, and it was literally. And then all of a sudden, I look up after, like, I'm like, dazed eyes. And I said, well, how much longer? He's like, how long has it been? Because I was like, in another world. And the other thing is that what I've been working on a lot for myself is through all my somatica work I've been doing is, like, really getting out of, you know, out of your head, being in my body. So I kept thinking and I going, okay, breathe, body, breathe. Like, what is. What am I feeling? What do I want? And trying to, like, rest into that. And so it was a very, like, somatic in my brain going, don't think about anything here. And so finally, after, like, it seemed like it was a half hour, he's like, oh, no, it's been 45 minutes. I'm almost done. And then it turned out he gave me an hour and a half massage.

A half hour for free, huh?

Right? It rocked my world. And then in my brain afterwards, I'm like, there was nothing sexual about it.

But I'm thinking, did he always have both hands on you?

Yes.

Are you sure?

I'm positive.

Okay.

What do you think?

His penis was dragging free hand and you're like, moaning on the beach.

I was literally moaning. I was like. I was like, oh, my God, so good. I was almost. I was passed out. It was so good. So I was. I was like, thank you. That was amazing. And I got up. I left to go back up to the house because our house is right in front of it. And I was joking with my friends. So I said, my friends, like, you guys. Carlos, my new husband. Like, I was joking. Like, he knew my body, like, like crazy. I can't believe how amazing this massage was. It was like he read into my body and it meant so much that, like, I think I could guide him and I was able to receive. So then the next day, I go down to the beach. Should I make another appointment? He's not there. And I said, I'd like to make an appointment with Carlos. And they said, okay, you come down at 3.

Can we change it to Enrique? I like Enrique.

Enrique.

Okay.

So then I go at three, they're like, oh, sorry. He said four. I come down at four. He said five.

Ooh, Enrique's drinking.

Enrique's canceling.

Yeah.

So I go down at 5, like, oh, he can't make it today.

Oh.

And I'm like, so sad. But it's okay. I had this great experience. So I go down on the beach. Like 8 o' clock at night. We're right in front of the beach, and I go down there just to walk. And he comes out of nowhere. Oh, yeah.

Was he on a horse?

In my brain, he was. He was drinking a Corona. So cliche. And he's just walking. And he was like, hey. I'm like, hi. And he's like, what happened? He's like, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry that I missed it today. I was so busy.

He's Italian.

He said, I'm really sorry. I'm really sorry I let you down. And I said, yeah, it's okay. It was a great massage. I loved it. We sat down on the beach. You're really beautiful. And he leaned over and. Okay. So I'm thinking to myself, another thing is that I feel like my sexual energy has been a little shut down lately. I'm not really. I always thought of myself as kind of a flirty, open person.

And I shut down a little bit.

And then closed off. I was thinking as well through my final course, I'm just gonna be more open. So I, like, looked at him and I was like, because is this sexual? Is it not? Because how could he even know my body? But then he looked at Me. He's like, you're. I said, that was this amazing. And he's like, you like shiatsu? He's like, you don't like massage? That. What accent was that?

And then you did not like massage.

And then he kissed me and he started, like, touching my face. It was really hot. He's like, meet me later in the squ.

So we met the square. It's like old times.

Yeah, we met in the square.

Couldn't he be fired for this? This seems like it's crossing over all sorts of boundaries.

Well, that's why I hesitate to tell his story. But he was not inappropriate during my massage. We had drinks and he came. He's totally respectable and dressed and nice. My friends came with me because they were, like, a little anxious about it, but turns out he's a tantric. He studies tantra. He studies Chinese medicine.

Oh, so that's maybe why he has that accent, right?

No, but he's very into, like, female energy. And he could read my body. We talked a lot about it. He goes, well, you know about the PC muscles. And he was, like, really into, like, kaggle muscles. And people had a lot in common, let's just say that.

And then he asked to check your Kegel muscles to see how they're doing.

Exactly.

Or you were bragging about them and.

You'Re like, check it out.

And then you. No, he clamped off Enrique.

I was like, do you know that I've an iPhone app called Cow Camp? And he didn't understand.

We went back to the massage. So then he's like, let's. We went to, like, a party at the beach. Dolls, friends. And then we went back to the massage place on the beach, and we, like, put the curtains down and he moved the tables.

Oh, it was like a little cabana type thing.

Yeah, we had sex on the beach. And he was very into my pleasure. And he was like, not about his pleasure.

So he's, like, massaging you. Credible sex with his penis, essentially.

No, he was.

Because it's all about you. Right.

Literally. It was like oral. It was fingers. It was like. I've never had a guy in that I can remember be so attentive and understand my body like this.

That makes sense, though, right? Because he's a masseuse, so I don't even.

Yeah, and he studies tantra and he studies.

Did he charge you afterwards?

No. No. We're like. We're in love. He's gonna come visit me. No, but here's my point of the story is that I feel like in some way, like my pilot lights back on, you know, it's been off and now I'm. Yeah.

Nice. Do you find yourself hanging out alone?

No, but it was just so random. And I know it sounds weird missing, but it was hot.

How much do you think of it was because he was Latin and how much was because he was a masseuse?

I think it's a lot. I. I don't know if it was because it was. I was more open just to, like, just being open to things that I wouldn't have been open to. But also I think it's that he understands bodies.

Are you ever gonna see this man again? Are you Facebook friends with him?

He told me I should come back. No, he doesn't have phone because they will text me if you're not gonna be there. He's like, I don't have a phone.

Then he rode off on his horse and sunset.

I don't even know. But what I'm saying is now all about sex again. Like, I'm dating, I'm doing things. I'm. I'm excited.

Do you want to go back? Are you already. Have you already looked into maybe.

I kind of was like, maybe I should back over Christmas.

Yeah.

He's like, come back. And then I gave him my card and told him what I did. He's like, so should I call first or just come visit? I'm like, just. Just visit. You don't have a phone. Just show up.

Isn't that weird? It's. It's. I missed that a little bit. You know, I'm happily married and I'm. I'm not looking into the past longingly, but when you first have like a new relationship and it gets physical like that, like how that person's completely on your mind all the time. And it's not like you're in love. It's just like this new, like, exciting thing. Yeah.

And so all week long. Here's the best part, though. So I left. My friend stayed and I said goodbye to him. I was, oh, this was the night I was, oh, here's another thing. We fell asleep on the beach till like 7am and I had to leave that morning. So we watched the Sun.

Sounds like an Ethan Hawke movie.

We watched the sun rise together. And then I said goodbye and I went back and packed and went to the airport. But I was saying goodbye to my friends and I had my. I had sex with Emily. And all I got was this T shirt and that I gave to my friend John, my ex boyfriend who rented the house there.

And John, people wear that shirt.

John's like, he's like, I'm bringing Enrique this T shirt. And I was like, please don't. He's like, no, I'm totally. Because he's not wearing it. I'm bringing him this T shirt. I'm like, I don't know, he's gonna get the irony. But then it's also like, whatever. So it's funny. That's my story. It was really good.

Got the big lips on it, right? He's probably.

I had sex with Emily and all I got was his T shirt, which he could be in somebody.

He's fucking off right into that shirt right now.

Who knows if even. But I was really into him for about two the 12 hours, you know, following.

Well, good for you, Em. You need that.

Yeah, I do. Things have been good since then.

Sex in the news.

You got it. You know what? That was my sex in the news. Anderson, are you cool? I love sex in the news.

I liked your new sex.

Thank you.

Yeah, you're a new sex story.

So let's get into some emails, but first let's give a shout out to our sponsors. So thanks everyone for supporting our sponsors. We love you. They love you. Everyone loves you. Thanks for listening. We'll be right back.

I love the Sex with Emily team. I mean seriously, I am so lucky. I have the most talented staff and usually we're all laser focused. Unless someone brings up the topic of skin care, then all bets are off. It's not just the ladies either. Even Eddie has his own daily regimen he loves to talk about. We all have our own skincare routines, but the one thing we have in common is our love for Murad. Murad makes an amazing collection of products from Dr. Developed anti aging creams to shave lotions for men. We just can't get enough Murad. So you can imagine how pumped we were when they offered us a 25% discount. And by us, I mean all of us for one week only. You can save 25% on everything Murad has to offer. That means 25% off their skin brightening serums, their acne fighting treatments, their razor burn lotions for men, even their anti aging cream that will take years off your complexion. To get it on this deal, go to muradpodcast.com Emily that's M U R A D P O-C-A-T.com Emily and enter promo code podcasteckout. They'll even ship your order for free. You're gonna love it.

Okay. Email. Okay. If you have a question you want me to answer on the show, that's amazing. It's really easy to submit your questions. You just go to sexwithemily.com, you click on Ask Emily, fill out the form, and hit the button. Submit. That's it. You can also leave me a voicemail. 818-Askswe, or 818-275-7931. Here's the other thing. You can also now what we're doing is we're taking calls. Anderson. Remember we did that a few weeks ago. That was so fun.

I did it twice with.

Yeah. So you can also just, like, check a box when you're filling out your question saying, yes, I would like to be called. And then Eddie here will assistant producer, will call you and tell you to.

Have a Latin lover.

That was a great Eddie. Amazing Latin lovers. He'll tell you other things too. Okay. Hi, Emily. My fiance and I love your show. He lives in Sydney and I live in America. When we get together, the sex is amazing. But it's hard to keep things exciting when we're apart.

Cybersex was great at first, but it got boring really quickly. We're closing the gap and moving in together soon, but what can we do in the meantime? So our cybersex is amazing as he is. Help Fatima.

Okay, Fatima, it sounds like you've got the cyber sex part down. I'm assuming you're, like, on Skype or Facetime, which is awesome, but even that can get kind of rote. I understand. So ways to improve the sex part. You can start working on some things that, you know, maybe you want to do when you see them. So maybe even wanting to talk dirty, maybe even wanting to role play. I think it's be so fun if role play, like, makes you feel uncomfortable. When you're, like, together, you can be like, okay, tonight, you know, I'm gonna be the schoolgirl and you come as my master. And you can wear some sexy outfits, do a striptease for him. Toys are awesome. You know, we've talked about, like, the Sink by we vibe, which just came out a few months ago. S Y N C. It's on our website. And he can totally vibe you. Like, he can control that vibrator while you are using it. And he can be in charge of the motion. You know it's Bluetooth, right? So that's really high.

You can hold her. I could hold her hostage.

Yeah.

Like, no more until you do that.

Exactly. No, you can totally do that. And he'd be like, she'd be like, more. More. No, like, say this, say that. He's got some families as well. I mean, the thing that I love about this is, like, because you're not really. Yes, you're looking at each other, but you're not really in the same room. Might be more comfortable to enhance some intimacy. So it sounds like while you're doing the sex thing, you might need some more, like, real connection. So you could suggest one night you write out your bucket list. Like, maybe there's some things you both want to try. You can exchange those lists, Maybe even try one of them while you're Skyping or cyber sexing. You can watch porn together, masturbate together. Mutual masturbation. Which it sounds like what you've probably been doing, but I'm thinking of hearing, like, you might want a little more intimacy so you can send him some snail mail. People actually still do that, even though. Weren't we talking about the post office? Only as old people in it now. Anderson.

I don't know if that was me. It was me.

I was like, no one here can go to the post. Yeah, there's like, no, but I hate the post office.

I go way too often.

It's terrible.

I know my post, lady.

I know. Me too. Okay. Send sexy photos. You know, you could actually mail him some photos. You could sexually.

Polaroids.

Send nudes. Totally. Polaroids. Emails to build the anticipation. But, you know, you don't have to be, like, skipping the foreplay. Like, if you guys are just getting on and masturbating. Like, you guys could start to tease each other throughout the day. Just like I tell couples in, you know, who see each other every day.

Gotta keep it fresh.

Keep it fresh.

Like your Facebook page. Exactly. Keep things fresh.

Keep things fresh. You could set the mood as, like, it was gonna be a date. Like, you could kind of change the way your room looks like light candles and just wear something sexy and make it like it's an actual date. Maybe you gu. Eat dinner together. I mean, energy, talk energy. Yeah, it's not just about, like, masturbating. Hanging up. Don't just hang up. Actually, though, right after you both climax, you can stay on the phone for a while. Wind down, like if you were cuddling. Because, dude, let me tell you something. I was talking to producer Madison of this. I actually got in trouble once. In trouble. I was dating a guy. We had phone sex, and afterwards, I just hung up because I was like, I'm done.

No goodbye.

No, I was like, bye, I gotta go. And then he Texted me and he's like, can you call me back? And I'm like, I'm really tired right now.

And I was like, you're a dick.

So anyway, comes to find that that really upset him and he felt like he needed more from me and that I just left him hanging after our. And I. And I apologize. Like, I was like, such a dude. I was like, I'm so tired.

You were using him as a pee stick. And that's. That's rude.

I know. So maybe it's nice to have a little aftercare, a little talking after.

Yeah, I. Yeah.

What?

I was.

You would never be that guy that.

No, I would never be that guy. And I don't like being treated like. Like you treated that guy either. It's awful. It's very hurtful.

Really?

Huh. I don't like. Happened a few times. So when I realized I was being used just for.

No, I was dating him. Sort of.

Yeah, exactly, sort of. It was mostly about the sex with him.

No, I wish. No, it was. The phone sex was good.

Hey, going back to this email, do you. Well, kind of jumping off from the email. Do you think they're. I. I know there's got to be a couple who likes the Skype sex so much that that's how they. Even under the same roof. I bet they. There's a couple out there that goes in separate rooms and they do it.

Maybe. I think that'd be hot, actually. I think that's a.

You know, it's safe.

It is totally safe. And it's kind of like what. What phone sex used to be. When I saw couples, like, talk dirty to each other, I say, you know what? It's a great way for. For you to kind of talk about what you want, but you're not really in the same room or face to face, so you don't face that kind of, like, rejection. So I feel. Or like, that kind of insecurity. So. Yeah. I wonder if couples do that. Even if you're in the same city, but you can't see each other that night. Get on the phone.

Do you Skype a lot?

FaceTime? More now.

But do, you know, like, watching me. There's. There's ways of, you know, nefarious guys recording these things too, so be careful, ladies.

Well, I would only do it with, like, a someone I knew.

Yeah, but that. That someone you knew is going to be, like, an ex someone you knew one day. You know what I mean? All I know is there's channels and there's. And whatnot. Where they have all these poor girls who are just at the time doing it for their boyfriend. And now it's like, you know, being shown to strangers.

No, I know. I had. God, this woman. I talked to my friend's daughter the other day. She's like 20, and she's like, what do you think about setting? She's just online dating. Here's what's happening now. She's on dating. She's tint swiping. She's broke up with a guy after three years, and she's like, you know, tin swiping. She goes, what do you think? Tinder swiping? She's like, what do you think? Sending naked photos. And here's what's happening. A lot of guys. A lot of guys are like, send me a picture when you first meet them. And I'm like, oh, guess what happens after that, sweetie? He looks at it and shows it to whoever sitting next to him. So, no, don't do that.

When they first start dating.

God, guys are forward nowadays.

No, it's such a sad. I know. I tell my nieces, too.

I'm like, that's the culture. It's very upsetting that I miss this.

You know how many guys say that to me? Like, I wish if I had Tinder, I would have gotten married. I think people are lucky they didn't have Tinder.

And I'd be so much more, like, worried. Because the worst thing for me when I was dating was, like, worried about an innocent girl that I was dating getting taken advantage of by other guys afterwards. You know what I mean? I was always, like, I was very protective, and there's a lot more of that going on nowadays.

I think you were protective because you broke up with them, but you still cared about.

Yeah, a lot of time, like, we break up, and then I'd be really, you know, worried about the next guy coming along. And you know what I've learned about that? This is so interesting. Just recently, I came with a breakthrough. I think what it was was I didn't respect them much, and I knew that they bugged me. And I pictured other guys coming in and being bugged them, but using them for sex. And that was my biggest fear was them just being used.

So that's kind of loving in a weird way.

Yeah, it's a really weird candidate. Annoying. And I dealt with it for a while, but that's why we broke up. But I could picture other guys coming and saying, yeah, she's annoying, but she's. At least she's hot. So I'LL bang her.

Yeah.

And I hated that idea of them being taken advantage of like that. Oh, that's weird, though.

It's not weird. No.

I could look at it in an ugly sense.

All right, you could. I could look at it a way that it's actually in some way kind of like.

Let's look at it that way then. I appreciate that. Thank you.

Okay. Dear Emily, I've been regularly sexually active since I was 17 years old. After getting out of a committed relationship for a few months, I hooked up with an old friend with friends with benefits while visiting a city I used to live in. A few days after we hooked up, I began having symptoms relating to herpes. Confirmed the diagnosis with my doctor, and I'm now the reluctant recipient of HSV2. After telling the women that I got it from, she wanted nothing to do with me. Me, right now, I feel ashamed and incredibly alone. I feel like damaged goods and that my sex life is all but over. I understand that casual sex is not an option for me anymore, but I'm unsure of where to go from here. The stigma against HSV is pretty strong. I'm terrified of dating again only to open up about my condition and be rejected or ridiculed. What can I do to bring this up in a manner that fuels a discussion about my condition rather than a quick dismissal? Do you know of any reputable social networks or others in a similar situation? I love your podcast. I respect your advice. Please keep doing what you're doing. Regards, Will. Oh, Will, Will, Will, Will. Here's the good news, Will.

There's a lot of good news, Will. You're gonna like this. I think.

Yeah. The good news is that everything you're feeling is exactly what you should be feeling and what everyone else feels like they're damaged goods. They're never gonna have sex again, that casual sex is over. That you're.

But there's a lot who don't feel that way because they're irresponsible dicks.

True.

So Will's a good guy.

Will, you're a really good guy. Like, you feel. You know, and you feel like you, like, you're like, become a monk and join a monastery.

Right?

Better news. None of this is true.

Right?

None of this is true, Will. I know right now it feels like. It's like this life sentence, which is true. You will have herpes for life.

Right? You can always remember her that way.

Yeah, you'll always remember that way. You know, send her card every year, anniversary of the herpes. But here's the you take a daily suppressant. What'd you say?

Every time he has an outbreak? Because you don't have outbreaks very often. When you do have an outbreak, you just take that pill. What's it called?

Yeah. Valtrex or. There's a lot. Yeah, there's a few.

I know it sounded like I have herbs. I don't have herbs, but I've dated people who do. I've dated plenty. I've had unprotected sex with plenty of people who have had the herbs. I don't have the herbs.

Right.

I don't have it. But every time, just as a kind of a you to her, every time he gets an outbreak, he can be like, hey, your filth is on my dick again. How are you?

No, let's not go that way.

You don't want to do that. No revenge.

Not at all. Let's just let her go. She's. She's. You know what?

And she might be a silent carrier. She might not even know. She might just be pissed at you.

Like, I'm sorry that your old friend Real left. Whatever. It's not about her. It's about you right now. So here's the thing. It is not. It's not a death sentence in your life and your sex life. It is not even a deal breaker.

Don't even have to talk about it.

Really? Well. Well, you don't have to talk about it. Not on the first date when it starts to get heavy and you know, that you guys are gonna hook up. You could stay. FYI, I have herpes. I. I've been diagnosed, you know, HSV, herp. Saying herpes, I take it daily. It's a present. 99 effect. 99.9% effective, or whatever it is. 97.

And you're wearing a condom too, right?

And you're wearing a condom. Yeah.

If you're wearing a condom.

Just educate them.

Okay. Madison, your producer is reacting to all this because I. I don't know. I've never been in Will's position, but she's. From what I'm sensing from her, it's a really bad thing to wear a condom and be not having a breakout and have sex with a person without telling them she's. Is this true, Madison? Is this what you're kind of implying? Oh, you want to use my mic?

Yeah. Thank you.

I actually just learned about something called. Because I was researching this, and it's called shedding. And there are a couple times a year that people with herpes are, like, shedding their skin, where they don't have a breakout, but they can still transmit to their partners. Like, there's no sign of it. You have no idea, no way of tracking it, nothing. You just.

No, I've heard about it.

If they have a breakout, you should always, always tell your partner whether you have a breakout, whether it's under control, and you haven't had one in two or three months. Condoms don't always protect you.

Right.

Unless it's on your shaft. A condom is not going to cover the surface area that would transmit from skin to skin. Usually it's the area, like, around your junk, too.

So you're saying if you're shedding on your Darce tunic, that you could infect them.

Yes. Yeah, you can. You're right. It's still a risk.

I don't get any points for Darcy tunic reference.

No, but you're saying. But Madison, she's right. Because when you said you don't have to wear a condom, you absolutely have to wear a condom every single day.

Yes, you have to wear a condom.

And what Madison saying about shedding is, yes, there are risks. There are. There are chances. You could be shedding and you might not know it, and you could still, you know, you could still transmit. Your partner.

There's a chance that someone that you're.

With could be a carrier, and they might have it, and they don't know. So the truth is, it's. It's more common than you think that people have it. You're doing the best you can.

One in five.

I want to say. It's like. I want to say it's.

I know. Hpv. Everybody's got it.

Right. I want to say it's one in five. Can you look that up real quick? What it is now? I was actually going to, you know, so.

But here's what Will's up against, is.

That you got to tell. You do have to tell your partner. So I think what Madison was saying is. And I was. You have to tell your partner.

Yeah. Especially if you care about it.

People don't.

But you are gonna scare some people away. And the problem that Will's up against is in whatever Madison's about to find out, how many people have it or anything. Most of those people are not.

They don't even know. Some people don't know.

They don't know or. And I think that the majority of people, especially in their young 20s, aren't that they're gonna be like, what I just said, which, you know, as long as you're wearing a condom and you're not having a breakout. You don't even have to talk to them about it. I was speaking on a turn. I've never actually had to go down this road to figure it out.

But, yeah, it's just the right thing to do. And it'll get easier over time. You're 20.

There's dating forms too, where it's just.

But he also asked, like, if are there sites for people you know, dating with her. But it appears that the best ones is hift and hope. H, I F T, Herpe, Cupid. There's another one called positive singles for people with any std.

That's a dangerous dating pool. AIDS is in there, right?

Dude, I didn't check. I don't know. Well, you can probably sort by std. Okay. Okay. One in five. Yeah, that's what I thought.

And 90% of those with herpes are unaware they have it.

90%. This is what I'm saying is that, like, people could have it. You don't know. You can't trace it. Take the daily suppressant. Or your doctor might recommend that you take it when you're having breakouts. But you're gonna be fine. Your sex life is not over. Be honest with people. I've had guys be like, I have herpes. I'm like, okay, I take a present. I've had sex with them.

And you can always lead with, honey, I have something very important to tell you. I don't have hiv, but I do have the herbs right now.

And here's the thing, here's how you also have the conversation is that you need to educate yourself as well. Like, with all these stats we're telling you and what the ch desire of transmission. Because you don't want to be like, we need to talk and make it this super serious, like, dark thing. But it's like, listen, I have herpes. This is what I do for it. And I just want you to know.

Yeah, it's all about the delivery. You can actually do it really sweet way. You can actually use this to your advantage in some ways if the girl's receptive and say, look, I really care about you and I really, really like you, and I want to take it to the next step. Actually could even open a door for talking about sex in a very caring way and say, I just want to let you know that if we go there, I would like you to know that it. I got the. I'm not. I don't have breakout right now, but I have seen them in the past. I know what to do.

Take that maybe a lot of people have one breakout. They never have breakouts.

Never again. Yeah, right.

So anyway, just don't look at yourself as an outcast, sweetie. I know so many people who are in this phase. He just got diagnosed and this happens.

It's like a pimple, right?

Yeah, it's like a pimple. It can itch. It can be like a rash.

And I've seen it on people's faces. I've never actually seen it on their Jennies.

Yeah, Google it.

I've seen. Well, I.

That's a good time.

I know you can.

Or don't.

I'd rather not. Yeah, but I see it on lips a lot because you know there are people like on your face because those are out in public.

Right.

Because I don't live in Saudi Arabia. So I see, you know, girls, lips with the herbs.

You do not. Right, Exactly. And guys have.

Btw, by the way, I've not seen a whole lot of dudes. Usually it's the girls with the lip.

You're probably not looking at your guy friend's lips.

Maybe I'm not inspecting her lips. So I think what you girls do is you try and cover it up with a lot of makeup, which makes it even more noticeable. Sometimes I don't have them caked it.

I'm free. But. Yeah, so sweetie. Yeah, so check out those sites. But. And you're gonna get practice. You're gonna have practice over this. And it's, it's, it's. You're gonna be fine.

And know that you're a good guy.

And you're 20. So by the time you're 30, everyone will have it. So, you know. No, I really hope that's not the case. But let's be honest. Okay, so another email. Hello, Emily, My name is Monica. I'm 25 from Los Angeles. First off, I just want to say I love your show. I listen to it every morning on the way to work and on the way back. I love the thought of people sitting in traffic listening to sex with Emily Makes it better. I need some advice. I recently got into an amazing relationship. We've been together for nine months. It's been great so far. The guy used to be really in really good shape, but he recently had extreme weight gain and his confidence has gone down the drain. He's super self conscious and it's affected our sex life. He doesn't want to try new things. Sometimes won't even take his clothes off during sex. I don't know what to do. How can I let him Know that looks really don't matter to me and that he's perfect just the way he is. Thank you, Monica.

Actions.

Actions. What?

No, because I got the same thing. I feel like when I gain weight, I feel a little bit heavy right now. And I don't feel like I'm very attractive at all. But if the wife is coming to me and saying you're totally. She doesn't have to say anything. She just comes to me and I can tell.

Right. Okay.

Her actions speak a lot.

So you think your advice to Monica is just go after him, make the first move, do all these things.

If you really are attracted to him, you're way ahead of the curve and he'll be able to feel that and he can just sense it if you're actually kissing him and caressing him and doing whatever it is you do whatever you want to do to him because you're attracted to him still, you can't.

Yeah. You might have to make the move start. Yeah, I, I agree. But I was gonna say, I mean, that's, that's really good to hear, Anderson, that for you, even if you have these issues around, like, weight gain stuff, that would.

I feel like fat dad bad right now.

You always feel fat.

Okay.

Honest. I've known you for like five years now. You've never said, I'm really feeling really svelte today. So this has been your issue for a long time. And I want to say, like, she could by. It's lucky that you're married. You're in a confident, secure place. They're in a nine month relationship. So what I'm thinking is that there's probably a million different ways that she can let him know that she's sexy and she's turned on and she's attracted to him. And I like what you said about making the first move. But when you're feeling insecure and fat and nothing fits you and you're not good about yourself, doesn't always work.

You say that as a woman, though, and I can say as a guy that usually you're right.

Maybe I'm not your past.

Like, our on button is a lot more effective.

Right. Like, you just start. Like you just unzip his pants and he forget.

Most, most guys, we're just, we, we are ready to go a little quicker than you. We warm up a lot faster than you do.

That's true. That's true. Right? You're right. You're frying pans. We are slow cookers.

And it's hard to shut that tension down once it's on. Right.

Exactly. So you could just start. Maybe you just have to start making the moves, and that will help him feel more sexy and more confident. I'm concerned that he says he had such an extreme weight gain in nine months. And I'm wondering if he's depressed or something else is going on in his life.

Yeah, that's a whole different issue, so.

Well, that's what I'm thinking. I'm thinking maybe he has no sex drive. But again, with men, you're right. It is different than in women in that regard. And that we don't get turned on as quickly if our mind is on board. She just might have to come in and give them, like, a surprise. You know, the impromptu blowjob or something.

Like drop to the knees thing, type thing.

Yeah. So.

Which is always nice. The impromptu drop to the knees ladies. Like, if you'd want to do that every now and again. It's nice.

It is really nice.

It's.

Right. It's rare.

We understand that. But it's nice when you do it every now and again.

Exactly. The. What do I call it? The. The blow job. The spontaneous. The spontaneous blowjob. The random acts of spontaneous blowjobs. Yeah. So I think that'd be great. So I think that's a good. I don't know, we need an acronym.

Yes.

Figure it out. I'm not good with math.

Also, she could.

Plant some, like, chubby porn on her computer for him to find. So he's like, oh, she really is into this.

That's a good one. I like the way your mind thinks. Yeah, no, but I think. I think that's a good point. I think that like many women, she's worried that he's going to be like, you're probably worried, Monica, that if you make the move, he might push you away. So that's all good advice, Anderson. I think being a man who's fat. Just kidding.

What a. What a cunt.

I'm kidding. Who's had weight. Gay. That was so mean. But you're so not fat.

You guys were all telling me how nice I looked when I walked in. So I appreciate that.

You're the least fat.

I'm sorry I called you the C word, but it was.

That's really aggressive.

But you know that calling me fat is my.

I have two things to say. You walked in. That was really harsh because I, you know, I think you're. You walked in. I'm like, you look hot. First of all, was the first thing I said to you and to Me? You've never looked like you've gone up any weight at all.

Hide it well.

And I don't even see you all big jackets. Okay, whatever. You're super sexy. You look great. So I can call you fat as a joke. And cunt. Let me tell you about that one. Oh, no. Do you know that cunt originally comes from the word, like everything like, like Sanskrit times like cunt. It was related to queen and. And. And a lot of words are very actually powerful words, including someone is actually saying, like, you are like the goddess and beautiful woman. And I think back, do it. No, you don't have to do it now.

But didn't. It doesn't mean like fornication under consent of king. Is there any kind of. Is there any kind of reality to that? Has that been fact checked?

I don't even know what that is. I don't know.

Like for the longest time, like, serfs couldn't have sex unless they got like a stamped approval from the king. And it. And it said fornication under the consent of king.

I don't know. We can look that up as well. I'm just telling you the holy, holy word.

Okay. Holy word. I don't know how. Where did it go? Dirty hurt.

Because it's wrong. Well, it's so thick when you say it though. It's such an aggressive.

The Americans when they say it.

But I'm just trying. I can't believe you just called me that. It's like it takes you.

I use two syllables too. I said, but when the Australians or the Brits say it, it sounds like glorious.

Yeah. And I just. I want. I want to take it back.

Okay. Take it back.

Really?

We'll get you a bedazzled shirt where it says it in giant letters across the street.

So let me just tell you, I want to say this correctly. What'd you say?

Get you a shirt for Christmas and be dazzled. Bedazzled to see you work.

I want to bring it back in, like a really good way.

Get on that mic there, honey.

I want to bring it back in a good way. But it's a vulgar. Okay. It's known as a vulgar. Vulgar word for female genitalia and also disparagement. But the earliest known use of the word. Let's see where we go. I don't know if I'm gonna find all this now, but I'm just telling.

You Cleopatra was a real cunt. I bet it was her of it.

Is that.

I'm not gonna find this out.

I'M just telling you called her Cleopatra the cunt. I think that was actually her nickname for a long time.

I'm not gonna answer it now. Keep going. All right, I'm telling you that I'm gonna take it as a compliment.

Do what you want. You know what? I think that you call me Fat P H A T. I'm a kid of the 90s, so thanks for the compliment. Let's go.

Okay. Hi, Emily. I love your show. I need help. I'm happily married to a wonderful man and we have two young kids. I spend most of my life life taking care of my family, which I love, but I need something more. I've always been bi, curious, but was not ready to pursue anything until. With a woman. Until now. I made a friend on Tinder who's also in a straight relationship but is looking for a female friend that could possibly also be a sexual relationship. We have a date to meet next week. I'm looking forward to meeting her, but I'm afraid I don't know what to do slash talk about. Do I openly flirt? Pay for dinner? If I feel a spark, do I try and kiss her? Ah, she wrote.

She wrote that.

Ah, yeah. I've been living my. She did.

I've been living my whole adult life squelching my sexual attraction to women, and now I have this opportunity but don't know how to behave. This feels like high school over again. Thanks so much. Rocker Mom, 30, Minnesota.

Rocker Mom. Why? Nothing about the blatant truth that you're cheating about to cheat on your husband?

We don't know that he didn't consent to it.

It.

I asked that question too, whenever this.

I was like, ah, total disregard for the kids, the family structure.

Maybe the husband's cool with it. I'm going to take the assumption that he's. He gave her permission to have time to do this.

All right.

Why?

Because she's, like, married with kids. This is something you do when? Before you got the kids and all that.

Let's just say her husband. I'm giving this to women who are exploring their bisexuality. Take it from that. So I'm going to assume that your husband's consenting of this endeavor. Okay.

Be like a weird time for me to say, hey, you know what? I've never sucked a dick. I want to give it a shot. It'd be a weird time when I just got a kid, I got the wife.

Totally agree with you, but we're not going there right now. But when you do go there, I can't wait for you to let me know first. Okay. So let's tackle this one question at a time. Okay. Should you flirt? Yes. Yes. Absolutely. You should flirt with her. Like, if you're into this woman, you got to flirt. Because here's the thing. When you're, like, with women, most of my friends, majority, it's not sexual. Right. We're, like, talking about everything. But it is a little different.

This is gonna be new for you.

I distinguish that. It's not like a girlfriend. You're not getting your nails done. You're like, I'm attracted to you, like, together. Not get your nails done together. Going shopping, but this is kind of a date.

Or if you're getting your nails done, you're talking about how good it's gonna feel because your nails are all smooth now, and they'll feel great on the vulva.

Exactly. And she'll know that you have nice, trimmed cuticles and nails. And I don't think that women, like, are gonna be as judgmental of you as making these moves that you have to have all these, like, right. Things that there's gonna be some kind of. Of protocol. Now she's in the same exact boat you are. So I think you guys being women, like, we are, like, you'll probably even talk. I bet you'll become this meta. Kind of like. This is kind of weird, isn't it? Yeah. I wasn't sure what to do. I was nervous. I was nervous, too.

Supposed to be uncomfortable. And there's supposed to be a bunch of hiccups here. You guys are both anticipating them and go with them. That's gonna be part of the experience.

Right? So just, like, really just know that you're gonna be vulnerable. You gotta be open. It might be a little uncomfortable. Should you pay? There are no rules here. Just like when I go out on a date with a guy, I always pull. I do the. I do the reach.

Do you do the reach?

I do the reach every day.

At least you give the satisfaction of the reach.

I do. I feel like I always got it, like. And by reach, I don't mean I reached out his pants.

No, no, she reaches. I reached my wallet for her card. Yeah.

And usually, you know, they're like, no.

Here'S the joke, though. She doesn't even bring her wallet. She's just reaching towards her purse.

Exactly. When I was broke, I just didn't bring my wallet, and I reached, and that was fine. No one ever complained.

And so uncomfortable. Oh, really? You sure? Okay. Okay. No, but really. Okay.

Yeah, that's exactly Your head.

You're thinking, I'm so broke. Please pick it up.

Please. Yeah, totally. Oh, my God. This credit card actually won't go through. But you can give it to the waitress.

I got a couple others that we can try too.

Right. So, yeah. Anyway, I think that, you know, eye contact, flirting, smiles. She's new at it as well. You're gonna be fine. Should you pay? Oh, again. Reach for the. Do the reach. See what happens. Maybe you'll both trade off. I don't know what's gonna happen at your first date.

Somebody gets the food, you get the drinks later. Yeah.

And you'll know, just like you know when you're dating men, if there's a kiss. If there's a vibe, and you want to kiss her. And here's the other thing. Since it's new for both of you, nothing might happen on this date. Like, just like a lot of dates, I go out with guys that we don't kiss on the first date. Like, I just had a date with a guy. We did not kiss on the first date. Second date, we did a little bit more. That's the story for.

Not Enrique.

Not Enrique.

Enrique. You banged on the first date. Yes.

It wasn't really a date unless you call the massage date. But anyway, so I would just. I understand why you're nervous, but I think you're gonna know what to do when you are there, Especially. Cause she's in the same boat. And just don't stress about it. Have fun. Be present. Be in the moment. And if you're shy, let me know what happens. I kind of want to. I really want to know if you're sh.

Shy or nervous or a little bit uncomfortable and not sure. That's actually very attractive to a lot of people. Yeah, it's kind of cute.

It is cute. It shows that you're vulnerable and you're real. Don't try to be something that you're not.

Don't try and go in there with swagger. Like, I've been eating blocks for years. Let's do this. You know what I mean?

Eating blocks.

Box.

Box. They said blocks. I'm like, is that a new sling? I don't know that. Yeah, I think. I think this is happening more and more. But again, you know, I'm sure your husband's down with it, so let's move on.

And then go home and take care of your kids.

Exactly. And how much better that will be. Maybe. Okay.

Mommy's breast smells like fish. Dude, I'm sorry, but that might happen. It might Happen.

It might not.

That was very locker room talk. I apologize.

What's happening in this show? Who the fuck are you? Jesus.

A small segment of your audience enjoyed that part of. Most of them probably didn't. I'm sorry.

I'm offended.

It comes with being a cunt.

Christine.

We gotta wrap this guy up, right?

Yeah. Yeah, we do. This was awesome.

Tell me that's fake. The furry word.

Yep.

Okay. Cause it'd be weird to have a leopard on you.

It's not a real leopard. It's actually. I don't wanna talk about it. It's leopard. It would be weird that I had a leopard. Enrique killed it for me.

Enrique, this leopard for me. It was so romantic.

Aw. Good to see you. Okay, everyone, so here's the deal. I just love you all. Remember, follow us everywhere across the board. We're doing a lot of fun stuff on Instagram, Instagram stories, Snapchat, Twitter, Facebook. It's all sex with Emily across the board. Anderson, what's up with your crazy world these days?

Oh, I'm very, very crazy. Very busy. I'm doing my other shows as usual. Film Vault. We're actually doing Nocturnal Animals this week or last week. I almost called you, Jillian. Emily and I both.

Did you call her cunt as well?

No, she calls me that. Talking about my wife there. But no, Emily. Both and I both saw Nocturnal Animals, so we both really liked it. I. I will be talking about that one on the Film Vault cinematics show where we're. We just did Lala. These are all podcasts we do.

I want to see that.

Lala Land you got. You guys. You girls are both going to really like La La Land. We discuss movies a couple days before they come out. Give you a heads up. And then of course, the after disaster with Mike Carano and Tyler white. Also, Anderson cowan.com. if you're interested in getting one of my obnoxious CCP shirts, Cold Cockle production shirts, or donating to the cause, or getting the shorts, all 10 short, nine shorts that I directed over the years. It all goes towards making Groupers, which was a very successful camp. Have I done a. I've done a show since we were successful?

I think so. Yeah, but you killed it.

We were reaching for 75,000. We raised 85,000. And I can't wait to make my. My bullying movie. Oh, it's gonna be so much fun.

It's amazing. Congratulations. So, yeah, support Anderson Cowan and thank you for supporting the show. I love you all. And thank you to producer Madison, Lori, Jamie, Eddie, Ken, my amazing team. And just thank you all for listening. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackl.com.

I've got the solution to a problem that more than 30 million women encounter in their life. I bet you know what it is. You've probably experienced it yourself. I know I have. And I know at least some of you have because you email me about it all the time. Yep, it's your ever changing libido. Did you guess it? Not too long ago I introduced you to Fiera, a brand new consumer device designed by a team of medical professionals to help women concerned with changes in libido or sexual arousal. The makers of the product asked me to try it for myself and experience its natural approach to sparking arousal, which I did, but we'll get to that in a second. The first thing you should know, Fiora is a one of a kind product that gently stimulates the clitoris with mild suction. It's not a vibrator or pleasure product, so it's not made to bring you to orgasm, just gets you warmed up for intimacy with a partner or for solo play. You simply position it over your clitoris and the mild suction holds it in place using a soft silicone seal. After a few minutes, the pressure begins to enhance blood flow, a major factor needed to turn you on physically and mentally. This product really works. I mean, it's been studied and tested more than any other consumer product I know of. 89% of women in their study reported to be in the mood after using fear regularly, 93% felt they were excited and ready for sex, and a whopping 96% said they were looking forward to being intimate again. How do you like those numbers? Based on my own experience, I can tell you that the study results don't lie. I felt the same way. I've definitely noticed a spark in my arousal since I've been using it. But like a good exercise routine, you have to give it a chance to feel the results. I recommend you use it at least four times in the first month to really feel the benefit. Fiera is perfect for women who are looking to increase their sexual arousal without drugs or hormone therapy. It's safe, easy to use, and for a limited time, Sex with Emily listeners can save $50 on a Fiera of their own. To order, click on the Fiera banner on my website or visit fiera.com that's F I E R-A.com and enter code SWE2016 at checkout. This discount is only good until December 31st, so don't wait. So back in August, our friends at vibrotech sent me a new toy to try out, which you know is one of the best perks of my job. However, it can also be challenging because, let's be honest, not all toys are created equal. Well, thank God I loved it. You may remember vibrotech's Mystic Wand, my favorite compact massage wand. Well, I'm thrilled to tell you that it's now available in a rechargeable version. The Mystic Wand Rechargeable is truly the perfect evolution of the compact Massager. Of course, it has the same soft, round head that you love for external stimulation, but that's where the similarities end. The Mystics curve handle is super comfortable and makes it so easy to get into just the right spot. And Vibratex added three vibration patterns and three power levels, making the Mystic Wand Rechargeable one of the most versatile compacts around. We've been so excited to tell you about the Mystic Wand Rechargeable, and now that it's finally here, I want you all to check it out. If you go to the video tab on my site, you'll see a clip of me checking it out for the first time. My team has also had the chance to try it for themselves, and it was unanimous. They all loved it. The Vibrotex Mystic Wand Rechargeable is available now. You can learn more@vibratex.com or by clicking on the Mystic Wand banner on my site. There's one overlooked mineral behind better sleep, sharper focus, stronger muscles, and a healthier heart. And at least half of us aren't getting enough. Most people don't realize they're running low on one of the most vital minerals for human health health magnesium. And here's the thing. No single form of magnesium can deliver all of its benefits. That's exactly why Qualia Magnesium plus was created with 10 highly bioavailable forms of magnesium plus over 70 essential minerals. It provides total magnesium support, helping you sleep better, think clearer, move stronger, and feel your best every day. And honestly, when you're less stressed and more energized, your intimacy and desire naturally benefit too. Sure, magnesium can help you sleep sleep, but Qualia Magnesium plus goes beyond that. It's a whole body nourishment for how you think, move, connect and feel. More than just a sleep supplement. It's a foundation for daily well being, which absolutely supports a healthier sex life. Getting enough magnesium from food alone is harder than ever due to depleted soils and chronic stress. And our body's reduced ability to absorb it as we age well. Qualia's Magnesium plus formula is non gmo, vegan, gluten free and designed so all the ingredients work together for comprehensive of magnesium support. And personally, I've been taking Qualia Magnesium plus in the evenings and I really noticed calmer nights and clear mornings and just feeling more grounded in my body, which always makes intimacy feel more accessible and enjoyable. It's become such an easy part of my nightly routine. Experience the most trusted magnesium for your purity, potency and performance. Go to qualialife.com sex with Emily for 50% off. And here's a bonus use the code code Sex with Emily for an additional 15 off your order. That's Q-U a L I a life.com sex with Emily thanks for Qualia for sponsoring this episode.