7 Dec 2025 · 62 min
Emily Morse and Menace discuss sexual wellness, including how medications affect sex drive and listener questions about body concerns. They share personal weekend stories and talk through listener emails on topics people don't usually ask about.
Chapters
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They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex.
Eyes that mock our sacred institutions.
Bedroom eyes.
They call them an ab.
Hey Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cuz my man E here, he just got his heart broken.
He thinks you're kind of cute. A girl's gotta have her standard.
Oh my.
The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks.
Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me?
Oh my God. That feels so good.
Being bad feels pretty good. But you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.
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Yeah. Hey, Menace, what's up with you?
Oh, man. Long, long weekend.
Yeah, good one.
No, just taking care of adult things.
Oh, I hate that.
Yeah, being an adult sucks.
I know, I know. It is the worst.
Paying bills, doing housework. It is the worst.
I agree. I totally agree. Yeah, I had to do that too.
I knew the weekend was gonna be bad because automatically this is what happened. I get off work on Friday and I was gonna go to a going away party and I was already ready way early before I was supposed to go this party and our friends who do a radio show here in San Francisco, Fernando and Greg were having a bar night in the Castro. So I figured, hey, you know what, I'll go. It was last minute thing. I saw him on Twitter and I was like, I'll stop by for a minute. So I get out my house, I flagged down a cab, which took forever, right?
It always does in San Francisco.
I get in the cab, I get all the way to the place that I need to go that's on the other side of the city. I reach into my wallet and realize that I left my ATM card back on my desk at home. So then I had to take the cab all the way back to my house.
Oh my God. So it was like a $30 cab.
Oh, no. It ended up being 40 something dollars to go there and come back.
That is so annoying. You have an extra credit card?
No, I know I had. I have two and they're all. They were both at the house because I was paying bills online.
And it was a nightmare. And then so finally I go back to. I go to the bar night. And it was so funny because the, the place that I went to, it was really nice. It was their like grand opening. It was a really cool spot. But it wasn't the typical gay bar because they're gay gentlemen, just in case you didn't catch that before, was in the typical gay bar where there'll be a bunch of straight women in there and you know, be a mixture of people.
Right.
This is like the Bears, like the really buff.
Right, Right. You know, in the Castro.
Yes. This new place called the Edge.
Okay. Yeah.
It was very. It. It was nothing but men. You guys would have loved it. There's like the guys in the bartending with their shirts off, all buffed and all this stuff. Yeah, it was crazy. But what was going on with some Part of the crowd was the thing that we talked about before we had the last guest in. What was his name? The. The writer and the doctor.
I don't remember.
The guy from your school. You don't remember?
Wow.
Damn. Really? I can imagine.
Oh, Jalen ricks.
Jalen Ricks.
Dr. Jalen Rex.
When I was talking with him about.
He was there.
He wasn't there. Well, when he was on the show, I was talking to him about how.
Some people in the gay community, and it's not just the gay community, but they don't like wearing deodorant.
Right. We talked about this and it's been. It's a problem. It's a problem at the gym.
Yeah. Because they. They like to be all natural. They use different ways.
Yeah. He was using some kind of other, like, supernatural thing, but when you're in.
A tight space in a bar, man, it was bad. Stick out some part of the places that are walking.
How long do you stay?
I stayed there for a good maybe 40 minutes.
Okay.
And then I went out. And then I went out drinking and went crazy. And I woke up the next day at a. At my friend's house on the floor, wrapped up in a sheet, freezing cold.
Oh, my God.
I didn't even know where I was.
Where were you? How. Just a friend. That's crazy. What'd you end up doing? Just drinking a lot.
Just went out drinking a lot. Then there's old apartment that I used to live in, Right. That had a. I was going to go to the Sounds the next day.
Yeah.
I go there to start working on it because I'm moving everybody out and we're just remodeling the place. Right. I'm moving all the stuff out into the trash. It's like 8:30 in the morning. I have a hangover and I lock myself out of the house. Then I had a.
Myself out.
I had to walk two miles to an Apple store so I can charge my phone because my phone was dead so I could call somebody.
Oh my God, What a night. This sounds awful.
It was the worst weekend ever.
This is awful. Honey. This is like the worst. I feel so much better about my life right now after hearing about your weekend.
Hungover and I had like, take down a wall.
You had to walk two miles to the Apple Store?
Apple Store. Charge my phone, let people know to let me back in the house. Go back there. Then I was like, super hungover and I had to like, take out a wall. Like, man, shit. Right? And I felt like I wanted to throw up.
You want to take out a wall? You know how to do that?
Yeah. I've been working on houses like my entire life.
Really can.
This is so annoying. Okay. I love my mom, but this is what's so annoying about my mom is you don't. She loves buying fixer uppers. And the moment that the house is finally complete, that' time that she wants to sell it and then move. And so we're. That's what she likes to do.
Is work on houses.
Right.
That's why going through that my entire life, my dream is to live in a condo.
Right.
Like, I don't want a garden.
Right.
I don't want.
She made you do all that manly labor.
Oh my God. My entire.
I didn't know. So that means you're handy guy.
Yeah.
I didn't know that.
I have put siding on houses, windows and like frames and houses. Remodeled kitchen, ripping up carpets because they taught me. That's because my. My stepdad and my mom knew how to do that stuff.
Right. See, they were.
It was a nightmare. I can't even tell you how much stuff I painted.
Little menace, having to work. I've. All his friends are outside.
I remember when I was 21 and they were. They were putting like some new sprinkler system in the backyard and they made me.
I got home. I got home like really early in the morning because I was out drinking all night. Right.
So nothing's changed.
Yeah. They wake me up at 8 o', clock, like, hey, we need to help. We need you to dig a ditch. The dig a dish so we can put in the new piping. Like, you know, dig the hole in.
Right.
Like, oh my God. And the sun was blaring. And when they weren't looking, like, I puked into the ditch.
Oh, great. Oh my God. So nothing. You almost puked probably on Sunday, rubbing down the wall.
I think that's what has affected my life where, like I.
If I live in a condo. Yeah, I'm good.
I know. I'm having issues with my dog. No. Yes. My dog. It's just. I just feel so much guilt because I can't. She needs tons of exercise and I'm already someone who's running late and has no time all the time. But now I have to walk her for like a half hour. Hour in the morning, walk her at night for an hour. I don't have time. And I just feel guilt all the time. But I do it. But I'm like, but it's fine. I met. I've all these new Dog park friends. She's great. She hasn't done anything too bad. But I just feel like she's always looking at me like, I'd really much rather be outside. Like, if she could wear a bumper cigarette, say it's rather be at the beach. Like, she just hates being indoors. She's looking to go outside. So the second take her outside, she's so excited. And then I can't stay all day because I'm busy and I'm working and blah, blah, blah.
I wish I could pull tape from when we first talking about the dog. And it was all the things that you're repeating right now is all things that I said.
I know, but it's. I love her and she's good to have around. I just think that it's a lot better.
Drop her off on your friend and then you can visit her when you want.
I know that's what I might do. So. No, she's awesome, though, and she's great. And I had a good weekend, though not as treacherous as your weekend, but. What'd she do? Well, I didn't end up doing anything on Friday night. Like, I was just. I was wiped out. I was supposed to meet some friends at a party and I didn't do anything. And then Saturday night I went out with this guy. So when I was in New York, I met this guy. Not at a wedding. I met this guy at my friend's birthday party. And he lives in Boulder. And he's cute and he's nice, and he works whatever, has a good job and whatever. We hung out in New York. Then we hung out in New York the next day. We had brunch. Nothing ever happened. We didn't hook up. But there was, like, an attraction, I guess he was into me and he was texting me. But I kind of ignored him. Cause I kind of forgot about him. And I got busy and I had. I'm dating several guys. Like, whatever. He's in Boulder, so I. But he's in town this weekend. So I met up with him and we went out Saturday night. And he was actually. I was kind of dreading. Like, not dreading, but just feeling like I wasn't gonna be into him. But he was nice. It was fun. We had a good time. We went to dinner and we went to this new restaurant, of course, and had lots of wine. And then it was fun. Good times. And then I saw him again yesterday and wow. Yeah, I know. Cause he's here.
Getting your time in.
Getting my time in. So it was fun. And then I'm not really giving that many to it because it's not like. But it's interesting that you should give everyone a chance. Here's the thing. Here's someone who I think is like, isn't really my type, not into, but turns out like, he's really interesting and cool. So that's. This is a message to people that you should just give everyone a chance and go out with them if they ask you out. Even if it's like you're not sure.
Like when you're not, you are serial giving the phone number out. Er, I don't even know how to put it in. But that's the. I don't know.
And I have all these guys who want to. Okay, so this. I went to that orgasm pop up store a few weeks ago and it's all those people like this, our guests that were on the show when you weren't here a few weeks ago, they talk about this oming practice, this expanded orgasm practice where you, the men massage the women's clitoris and it's called oming. And you learn like they give you an orgasm, but it's like through the special practice. So I met two guys that night who want to om me and I literally think. I literally think that I should do it because it's good experience. I think it's a good, good material for the show. But do I want some random guys coming over and like touching my clitoris like that? I don't even know, like. But one of them was kind of cute. He's been emailing me and then I looked him up on Facebook because I couldn't remember if he was really cute. But he is cute. So I'm trying to decide if I really want to do that. It's really, it's part of research and I've always been curious about the oming practice.
Sounds like a Craigslist type issue.
I know, but they were cool. He seemed normal.
Oh, he seems normal. He's just really into oming.
Well, he's never done. He's learning, so he needs a partner.
Oh, that's it. Wow. I should totally throw that out. Like, I'm just learning to have sex. So if I can just have you as a partner so you can teach me, that would be amazing. It's nothing like, you know.
Yeah, I don't know how we do that, but. And then the other guy that I've been dating has been out of town for three. I dated him for two weeks. He's been gone for three and a half months. Three and a half weeks. So I haven't really seen him. And that's kind of. Whatever. No sexting, though. What?
I just. Just go back real quick. I don't even know. How do you, as a normal man even approach that conversation? To be like, I want to touch your vulva?
We were at the orgasm store, though. Yeah, we were at the orgasm store for Nicole De Don's book called Slow Sex. And a lot of people are part of her one taste organization. And there's a lot of guys who sign up for these oming classes where.
They learn one taste that's like, word. That cult that everybody lives in a house.
Yeah, but not everyone lives in the house anymore. They're like. They're like, redoing their image. They're redoing their image. So they don't live in the house anymore. And. But these guys signed up for the class and they want. They need a partner. And I just thought it would be, I should go once. I should do it, because I try to do everything and then share it with my listeners. Yeah. What have you done lately? Did you have sex on Friday night?
I had all the sex in the world on Friday night. I did a lot of research.
No, you just blew a carpet in a blanket. Okay, let me tell you what's on today's show real quickly.
All right.
Okay, today's show, we have your emails. Some topics include medication and sex. Large labias, one of our favorites, female ejaculation, and getting caught masturbating. And we'll also be talking about responsible sex and how to talk to your partner about being responsible in bed. Condoms, STDs. It's gonna be. You're gonna be taking a quiz, Menace.
Okay.
And yeah, that's what we got. And we got our poll results and some stuff like that. So we're gonna be getting into that shortly.
All right.
And sex of the news, of course.
What do you got?
This is what I got. Science says sex makes Mondays suck less. In today's groundbreaking science news, it turns out that people don't really like Mondays. In fact, helpful new research from vinegary breakfast spread Marmite found that people hate Monday so much that they don't even crack a smile until 11:16am People are also unproductive, averaging 3.55 hours, 3.5 hours in the workday, and twice as likely to be late. But not to worry. Marmite scientists have claimed watching tv, buying chocolate or makeup, or buying just about anything and having sex are always ways to make your Mondays better. Cause Mondays do Suck. I hate Mondays.
See, I'm so weird. I'm so the opposite.
You love Mondays. Cause you love your job and you love life.
Yeah, I love that. I love getting back to work, all that stuff. The only thing I hate about Fridays. Not because I hate Fridays, it's just that I'm so exhausted that on Fridays, everyone hits me up to go out, and then they get upset when I go.
I'm just chilling.
I want to stay home.
Yeah, I know Fridays are tough, but Mondays, I just. Something about Mondays. I've always had this. But even though I love what I'm doing now, and I'm doing sex with Emily full time, and it feels great. I just. Mondays are just kind of like, really? What happened on the weekend?
I thought it would be like, Thursday. Thursday's more of the tease. You know, you still have one more day of work.
I know, but Thursdays are fun. Thursdays and Fridays are the best. I don't know.
On Thursday.
I go out sometimes. Thursday.
But you have to work the next day.
I know, but you can still go out on Thursdays and Fridays. You can just kind of.
Oh, float on through on 3.
Work 3.5 hours. Isn't it funny if people work less during the day? What, do they just sit in their computer in front of their computer and stare at Facebook or something?
Oh, most likely, yeah.
That's what everyone else does, right? Okay. Casey Anthony was offered $500,000 for a nude Hustler spread. Did you hear about this? Casey Anthony? Casey Anthony has been offered $500,000 to pose nude for old Rascal Larry Flint's Hustler magazine. You've got men who say, hey, I want to see her in a birthday suit. There may be some sick individuals, but that's what life is all about. Casey Anthony's people say that any reports that she's talking with Hustler about doing this thing are nonsense. The only way to get Casey Casey Anthony to that photo shoot would be to chloroform her and drag her there.
See, Hustler does this every single time somebody's in the news. They always offer some ridiculous amount of money, and no one has ever done it. They just do it for publicity. And I'm not knocking Hustler because I would like to meet Larry Flynt one day.
Oh, but it's just. It's just for publicity.
I know.
And that's totally smart, right?
Well, which. Yeah, but she said she's not gonna do it. Is our Skype on? Because I was gonna give the phone number oh, okay. Sorry. Do you know how to turn it on? Because I just got a Skype missed call from Skype. They send me emails. So the number is. I don't know where it is. Oh, what is the number?
Oh, and then the people. Actually, I never got the login for that. You don't have to tell me. No, let me see if I can do it.
I have the.
I can guess. Sorry. Everybody see the phone number?
Okay, the phone number is 415992. That would be the Skype turning on 415-992-7392. That's 415-992-7392. You can call up with any questions you have right now and we'll answer them.
Yeah, and please just use the phone number. Don't try to Skype through your computer.
Just call from your cell phone, right?
Yeah.
Call from your cell phone that number right now and you can talk to us.
If you try to do it through computer.
Right.
I'm gonna deny it. Not because I don't want to hear from you. It's just. It's gonna be really awful.
You know, all this. Okay, I'm not the technical whatever person here. Menace. Okay. Woman sues man for giving her herpes. A 33 year old woman wants $350,000 for claim that she was infected with genital herpes by a 35 year old man during a sexual tryst. The woman says the man was legally liable for knowingly exposing an unaffected and unknowing partner to the sexually transmitted disease. The woman was married when she had sex with the man and he was married to her spouse is reluctant to have normal sexual relations because of her diagnosis. She wrote so. She wants to be rewarded money from the man's auto and homeowners insurance. He has denied giving the woman's herpes and told her to check with other partners. So she was having an affair on her husband. Obviously, her husband won't sleep with her now because the guy she was having a tryst with gave her herpes and she's suing. Oh, so she's having an affair and she feels like this guy should have.
Told her like, so you cheat on your man and bad things happen to you and now you blame other people.
Exactly. That is the bottom line and that is not cool. Yeah, you shouldn't have had sex without a condom for one.
You shouldn't be cheating on your husband.
Shouldn't be cheating on your husband for two. And yeah, that's what I got to say about that. We are gonna Be talking more about herpes later on in the hour. Let me just say it's. I know. You know what? That's a good point. No, it is not hot. It is not sexy. It is not gonna turn you on. You might not even masturbate to this portion of the show if you've masturbated to other portions of the shows.
But it's important information.
It's important information to dispense to people about STDs and condoms and stuff like that. We got a chock full of information for you. Because a lot of people, there's myths, there's questions people have. They don't get it. Can I get herpes from a toilet seat? We're gonna answer all that.
Did you. Did one of the interns bring this up to bring on the show? Because the Jersey Shore was having a whole marathon over the weekend on mtv, and they called the doctor because I guess they have a doctor that they can call and said, hey, can you get any diseases with somebody giving you fellatio? Then the doctor said, yes.
Yeah, you can't. Your mouth.
Because they're. Yeah, they're like. They're all. They're all. Because one guy didn't believe it, and they're like, no, you're hella dumb. So then they called and the doctor said, yeah, you can.
So is that what you. You were watching the Jersey Marathon. Jersey.
When I was by television, I was watching Jersey Shore because I'm so excited for the new season. I used to not be into it. I actually didn't watch it.
Yeah.
Till the third season, but then I got so into it because I thought it was just gonna be like a real world. No, but it's so. It's so funny because it. You should be watching it because it is all about sex that if you really break it down.
Okay.
It's all about them going to hook up with chicks all day long and then the chicks going to go hook up with guys.
They have boyfriends and stuff, new guys.
And it's funny just to watch them on how they act and how they. They make things happen.
I should watch it. I'm gonna get me some cable.
The funniest thing, the last episode that I watched, and I know it's an old episode, is they were playing pranks on each other, and one the guys was. One of the guys was out of the house, and he was out at the club, and the other people were at home. They're like, oh, let's play a prank on him. And they didn't know that he was gonna bring a girl home, right? So they went and took a bunch of grated cheese and like all this cheese stuff and then put it under his bed so it smell really bad, like cheese. And then here he comes back and they're like, oh, my God. He brought a girl back home. And so he takes this girl into the bed. And then the next day he's like, I couldn't hook up with that girl. She smelled like cheese. He thought it was the girl.
Yes. Okay, that is kind of funny.
That's a funny thing.
I gotta watch it. I gotta get cable. That is funny. And that's gross. See that to me, though, that humor is not funny. That's annoying.
Oh, God, no.
I'd be like, that's so dumb.
Sorry. It's not some avant garde foreign film that has subtitles. I apologize.
The wrong image of me. You know what? I. You know me.
Yeah.
You think I'm home watching foreign movies. I don't watch anything. But I appreciate that, that it's all about sex.
I don't understand why you wouldn't be into anything is dumb. This is the real world. That's people, how people act.
Like, I get it. Not all people. Yeah.
But like a large majority of people. I can go and see 10 million people that act just like the Jersey shore in this city. Like at any booty shaking nightclub.
Yeah, go to the nightclubs. You do, though. You say you don't, but you do. Okay, so topic we're gonna get into some emails, all right? Okay. Like I said, topics include medication and sex, largely because female ejaculation, getting caught, masturbating later on. We're talking about STDs, we're talking about herpes, we're talking about responsible sex and how to talk to your partner about it. But first, we got some poll results in.
Okay.
What body part turns you on the most?
10% said the stomach.
12% said legs. 20% said eyes, 26% said chest. And the winner, the most percentage. Highest percentage, 32% said, but the ass is what turns 32. Yep. What do you think about that? Are you an ass guy?
I'm into butts. But, you know, again, all this stuff is proportionate to the person size. I don't, I don't look for anything that I don't like. Everything, you know, I don't go after anything that's like oversized, like some people do, where they go, oh, my God.
Right.
Go crazy for it, you know.
Okay, got it. Our new poll is. What would you what way do you most like to do it? Just two choices.
Two choices.
Do it. One, slow and sensual. Two, fast and rough. You just got choose.
I'd be interested to see what people would say.
It's like C would be like neither or both. But everyone would pick that or both. But I want to know if you had to choose right now, what kind of down and dirty sex you're gonna have. Is it gonna be slow and sensual or is it gonna be fast and rough? Go to sexthemily.com and vote right now.
Are you gonna share your answer now or later?
I don't know what my answer is.
Okay, I think maybe you'll share it later.
Maybe I'll share it later. It's a good point, Menace. Okay. Hi, Emily. Still loving your show and getting more addicted every day. I take you everywhere with me. Guess you could say I'm a sex with Emily junkie. Your show is awesome. Keep up with the great work. Hope to hear you on the air for many years to come. I would gladly pay more if needed to be a sex with benefits member. Sex with benefits member? Yeah, it's a friends with benefits member. Where else could you go to get great advice and entertainment at the same time? You and Menace are a breath of fresh air that has been needed for so long in the stale radio world.
Thank you.
Love always, your friend and number one fan, Danny. Thanks, Danny. That was just.
Danny, you're awesome.
You're awesome. And we would like you to pay more. So just pay again. My.
Yeah, I love the listeners.
I love these listeners.
I love these listeners. I like listeners that. Because they're like, from all over the world, country and stuff like that.
We have listeners everywhere, all over. We really do have them all over the world.
Yeah. And I love when they email the show and say where they're from and all that stuff.
Me too. Oh, yeah, Tell us where you're from when you email us. We haven't mentioned that in a while. Where you're from and how you listen to the show.
You know, I'm saying that because I have another story that I didn't share. I'm sorry to bore you down with stories, but you might think it's a good story. It's a good story.
I'll be the judge.
You know how I said a while back I have some listeners that was sending me lingerie in the mail from other radio shows? So today I get a call from our security and it says, oh, yeah, some flowers have been down here for you since Friday. I go, okay, and then some roses come up. And it says in the card, happy Birthday, which is not my birthday. No, until October.
Right, right, right.
And I hope you can get these home safe. And that was.
Doesn't say who they're from or anything. And then I get a. Yeah. And then I get a call from a stalker on Friday asking me if I can go out. And then I said, now I was busy. Get a call back today from the same person asking me if I can go out today.
Do you think she's had the flowers?
I don't know. She sent the phone. She's definitely send chocolates in lingerie.
Do you know who she is?
No, I don't know who she is.
Oh, that's so crazy.
And I tell her I'm busy.
Yeah, well, what are you gonna say? At least you talked. You talked to her on the phone.
Yeah, she calls up now before she would just. Before she would just send letters.
You talk to your stalker?
Yeah.
I can't block her call.
It's a public phone number to the radio station. What am I supposed to do?
Right, right, right. Yeah. My stalkers were at St. Quentin, so I didn't really. I never. I never really got to meet them. Okay.
Caged Heat.
Exactly. Dear Emily, my wife is on Zoloft, and while she enjoys sex, she can't have an orgasm. Any suggestions? Michael from San Francisco. Yeah, California. Well, okay, that is a very common issue. Women and men on medication have issues with their sexual performance. And I would say the best thing she could do is go down on the Zoloft and add something in, like Wellbutrin. Wellbutrin is a really good drug for. Is a antidepressant that does not produce the same side sexual side effects. So a lot of people switch from Zoloft to Wellbutrin or they add it. And there's also. I would just, like, go down or sometimes if you know that you're having sex, you could, like, go. If she's taking, say, 100 milligrams, she'd go down to, like 50 milligrams. When she knows she's gonna have sex and it might help and she might be taking too much of it, too. Again, she could just go. She could also just decrease the amount she's. But honestly. And use a vibrator during sex. That could help. Really help, too. But really, there's not a lot you can do. Like, if you're taking the medication and ssri, you're gonna have sexual. That's the number one side effect, is it? Sexual side effects. And with Wellbutrin, there is not. Because Zoloft is an ssri, a serotonin uptake RE inhibitor. And a Wellbutrin is also an ss. Is also a antidepressant, but not an ssri. It works on different receptors. That's my answer.
I say just go down in general.
Go down.
Yeah.
Go down on the meds or just go down.
Go down in general.
Go down. Go down, baby.
Yeah. Another thing is, how do you know so much about all these drugs?
I've studied them over the years.
Yeah.
Yeah. Oh, my God. I've gotten millions of questions about this. Cool. Hundreds. And I know a lot of people on meds and a lot of people who have dealt with this issue. It's very common. It's like, so many people are antidepressants. I wish I had the stats, but I don't. But, like, I know, like, a lot of people are on.
Yeah. And sometimes with the guys, like, they can just last forever and not. And not even orgasm.
Yep, exactly. Men. Men are not able to orgasm when they're taking antidepressants. It's such a bummer, though, because it's like, I know you're depressed. You want to kill yourself. So here's a pill, a happy pill. And then you're like, I'm so happy. Oh, my God. Everything's great. Life is wonderful. Oh, but I can't have an orgasm. That sucks. Like, here's this greatest thing in life, but you can't have an orgasm. It's kind of like this. It's kind of a deal with devil. It's like making a deal with the devil or something. So that's the deal with that. Okay. Hey, Emily. I'm a very satisfied new FWB member and enjoying all the great new material on your website. In a recent episode, you read a listener email from a girl who was extremely embarrassed and self conscious about her large labia and was actually considered labiaplasty. You and Menace rightly pointed out that there are some guys who find large labia to be a turn on. I am ready to tell you that I'm definitely one of those guys.
We found one.
I find large labia extremely sexy and a huge turn on. I'm sure that I'm not alone in this thinking and that there are way more I'm sure I'm not alone in this thinking and that there are way more than just a few guys out there who would agree with me. I just want to be that poor. I just want that Poor girl to know that. And I hope that she will forget the idea of labioplasty and just be a little patient, because she will surely find someone who appreciates them as I do. And that jerk who made her feel bad about them needs to have his ass kicked. Very sincerely, D. From Cincinnati. Yeah, I think he's right. I think that's really harmful. When people get these messages early on, like she was like a guy in high school or something who made fun of her labia. That just messes you up. And I think that she shouldn't rush out and get labiaplasty. That some guys like this. Maybe we'll hook them up. Dee from Cincinnati.
I don't know. I think it's just. Again, when I. When this first came up, it was just her decision what she wanted to do.
Right. But think that just because one or two guys didn't like it.
I think that. But again, I just said, you know, we can build it, build it up and say it's fine as much as we want, but until she believes that herself, then.
Exactly.
It's not really gonna make a difference.
Right. She has to believe it herself. You're right. But I'm just saying, I think it's just rushing to plastic surgery is not always the answer.
Emily. I had a complete hysterectomy at 27 for medical reasons. I feel like I get to the point of orgasm, but honestly, I'm not sure if what I'm feeling is the actual thing. Weird. I know. I heard you say one time that anyone can learn to squirt. I want to. How and where do I go to learn to learn this? How do I know if my G spot's working or if I even found it? Help. Hopeless orgasmic. Carrie Jo from Evanston.
Evanston, Wyoming. Wyoming, Not Chicago. I was thinking it was Illinois. Okay, it says Wyoming. That'd be Wyoming. Okay. Some background women ejaculate. Some women do ejaculate with orgasm, while others find that orgasm and ejaculation are two distinct and different functions which happen separately. It's important to relax as well as contract the pelvic muscles. Some women need clitoral stimulation first in order to. Most women need clitoral stimulation first in order to orgasm. And it could happen from attention to the G spot. So a lot of times, women are able to teach themselves. I mean, Susan Bratton was on the show a few weeks ago. She talked about the fact that she teaches this course that women, anyone can learn to squirt. So it's Mostly with pressure on the G spot, which stimulates production of the fluids. And it's the G spot. We did a whole show on it the other day. So you can talk, you can listen to the show. Go back.
When was it show.
Were you here on the G spot show? I know you weren't here.
I know we were talking about G spot locators that you were getting designed, but I don't know if that was.
Friday, I think, right? Or Thursday. Thursday, Friday show. Dude, you missed it. It was awesome. I mean, we missed you.
What was it?
Interns Gone Wild?
Uh oh. Every time you get on the interns, you make it get them on the show. You make them tell other, deepest, darkest.
I know you can't believe. I was just like my mouth recap.
So people go back, okay, tell me a little bit.
Go back and watch. Listen to Friday's show if you missed it. So you know we have them do sex toy reviews. So Erin came in and did her sex toy review, but she also has been talking about she'd reviewed her toy from AdamandEve.com where anyone can go to Adamieve.com and use coupon code Emily at checkout. And you get all these special things. 50% off an item. You get three adult DVDs, blah, blah, blah. Point being. So she had her sex toy review. Erin has a boyfriend. Erin and her boyfriend have taken everything very literally. The sex with Emily challenge is what she's called it. And she says that they've been together now, like, I think eight months, but for the last three months, she's been working for me. She takes everything home every night and, like, works on the stuff with him. Like tonight, let's find the G spot. Let's, you know, let's try to.
You know, have this kind of sex or that kind of sex. I mean, they've done all these things and they've watched porn together. They've talked about in by watching porn. They've actually used some of the stuff that they've learned in there. She's like, oh, I like when that girl bends over the desk, so can I do that? I mean, she was just like getting into all these things that they were that they've learned and that they're doing from sex family show. Like, literally for three months, everything. They've pushed it, they've tried it, and it's really, like, helped their relationship and it's grown and they love these.
It sounds amazing and tiring at the same time.
It is exhausting. Right? Could you imagine every night's like, oh, God, again. So she's done all this stuff and then what else? And then Kelsey was talking about her experiences with her. She thought she broke her clitoris because from her vibrator, which didn't happen, but she was. She's like, I think I broke it. But she was talking about how using her vibrator a lot, she thought. But it was fine. It was. She was just sick.
Oh, yeah.
But they're just vibrating. And she's just talking about their vibrators are talking about their sexual experiences sleeping with guys. And how now she's become like, she's like a little like a mini protege. Like how I date guys now. And they all say, oh, sex family. So I'm assuming that people want to sleep with me just because of that.
Yeah.
So now that she's the one and the. All these girl. All the interns, they're the ones now that know all about sex and they're high. Like, in her house. It's college.
Everyone's like, now they're super popular.
They're super popular. And everyone was like, you know, they're like, oh, hey, teach us stuff. So it's fun. So they learned a lot. What else did they talk about? I'm trying to remember. There was. There was.
That's cool. So that was on Friday.
That was on Friday's show.
So people can go to sex with emily.com and listen to the recap that they missed it.
Exactly. And then she. One more thing. I was gonna say just the fact that she used sex Ray with her partners, all that stuff was new. Okay, so let's get into what we missed.
It's the one of them out in Berkeley too.
What'd you say?
I found amazing ice cream place out in Berkeley.
Yeah.
Yeah. That's very sexual.
I don't know what it is with chicks. They love ice cream, right?
Yeah, we love ice cream.
You take them out to ice cream spot. I think you will get laid almost every time.
Really?
Sure. Not true.
If say, hey, hey, you want to go have some ice cream? I think you don't even eat, man. I don't even know. Like, you say you go to restaurants all the time. I don't even know what the hell you eat.
I eat. Well, how do you know I don't eat? I eat stuff. I eat chicken.
Name it. What did you have when you went on this amazing date to some new restaurant?
We had some weird foods. It was some funky foods. Yeah, yeah, we had some.
Did you feel very cultured by having the.
The weird Funky foods. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was some big thing of slab of meat that was like fried bacon. It was kind of weird. We had some. Just know some culinary delights. You know, San Francisco is known for its restaurants, so this is a new restaurant, Contadhya or something it was called. And I don't rem what we had. I know to tour like. Like pasta and pizza.
How do you not remember things from just the other day?
Because my life is so busy.
Doing what?
I don't freaking know. Eating the next meal. You can't remember one meal to the next?
I remember everything I ate this weekend.
But last night I ordered room service, and it was amazing.
Room service?
Yeah.
Are you just slipped and told me something you weren't supposed to tell me?
Well, I was visiting this friend at his hotel room.
Oh, visiting your friend. Why is it. Why is the intern coughing right now?
I don't know. Had nothing to do with that, did it?
Yeah, you totally just slipped right now. You called yourself out.
I loved the reception. See?
Why did you not share this stuff in the beginning? Oh, you forgot. You just forgot.
You just forgot that you're at a hotel with some guy.
Yeah.
So let's be real. Let's keep it 100, which I like to say. So what would happen? You're a single woman. Who cares about these other guys? You do what the hell you want to do. He's saying if they don't like it, they can kiss your ass. That's my attitude.
I know. I know. It was awesome. We ordered pizza and chicken and.
And a side of cock.
A cock.
I have not seen this cock yet. Rooster. I have not seen this cock yet.
You went to a guy's hotel and you did not see his rooster?
Nope.
Shut the hell up.
I know you don't believe me, Menace, but I'm pure terrible.
So this guy let you talk his ear off and you didn't see his. His rooster?
What made you think I talked to zero off?
Because I know you. If you. If you're not gonna check out my rooster, you would not be in my hotel room all night, ordered in room service. You'd be the F out so quick. Like I'm not gonna waste my time if I'm visiting this city and listening to some girl jab all night and not see my rooster f that man. So let's be real. What happened? Why are you looking at me and you want me to stop talking? You want me to stop talking? I'll stop.
You're staring at.
You give me the look.
What's the look.
You give me the look like, stop talking and stop asking me questions.
No, no, no. I don't care if you guys. He's this guy that I met. He's staying here. He's in town. Whatever. Went to his hotel room, had dinner.
Did you see his rooster?
I did not see his rooster.
How did you not see his rooster?
I don't know, because I wasn't. I just met him.
Just met him.
I'm trying to not sleep with people right away.
Okay, so how much did you make out with him?
Mid out? It was good. He's actually a good kisser.
Oh, see? You at least copped him making out.
Yeah, we totally made out. It was hot. It was good.
Yeah, maybe you didn't see his rooster because the lights were off. That's how you're getting around. No, that's how you get around the question.
No, but that's a good one to use in the future. He's just a dude visiting from out of town. And it's perfect for me. Those guys that come to town and visit and leave and stay at nice hotels that I can stay out with them. I love hotels. I want to live in the hotel.
If you're telling the truth, which you're not.
I feel bad for that guy.
Why?
Total dry hump. It's like not putting out your dry.
Humping in the usa.
So weak.
Yeah, I guess I'm kind of lame.
I'm not saying you're lame. I'm just saying the situations that every guy's about sex.
Maybe he appreciated. He probably appreciated my scintillating.
He totally did not.
He totally didn't want to have sex with you at all. He just wanted to. Maybe he enjoy your company. No, I probably didn't.
You think?
You're right.
Don't assume every man wants to have sex with me.
No, yeah, I'm sure every sex me.
Well, he orders up a huge.
No, I'm sure he just wanted to hang out.
That's it. Watch tv.
Watch some TV or some room service.
Order some movies and service. It was awesome.
Yeah, I bet. I bet that was.
That was it super fun.
Rev.
Whatever.
Let's try and take it slow.
I'm taking it slow. You don't believe.
I'm not saying. I'm saying he's trying to take it slow.
He's trying to take it slow. He's just in town. What am I gonna do, just like sleep with every guy who comes town?
No, I'm just saying, like, you don't hang out with in guys hotel rooms.
I hang out guys hotel rooms all the time whenever they come to town. My ex from LA that I don't sleep with anymore, whenever he comes town had more lies.
Oh, God, I can't take it anymore.
I'm really trying to. I'm changing my ways.
You're changing your ways. That's cool.
Okay, let's keep going. All right. I'm gonna have a drink here.
It's getting hot in here.
Mm. I first must say thank you. Your show is about hours of sexy, hilarious, informative entertainment into my life. I can't wait till I have time every day to sit down and listen to your show. I've always wanted to write in and now I finally have great need for your advice. I am a very open minded person and I'm up for anything sexually, but it's hard to find like minded people here. I'm engaged to a wonderful man and up till recently have always thought of him as a very conservative lover. Your show actually opened up a whole sex dialogue for us. I finally told him a few weeks ago that I wanted to try some light bondage like wrist and ankle straps and blindfold. He agreed it and we tried it and it was so fun. He tied me up twice now and a week ago he told me over the phone that when he comes home from the weekend from work, he wants me to tie him up. I've never thought of myself as a dominant person, so I'm lost. I don't know where or how to begin doing this. I want the experience to be great for him. And I was wondering if you could help me. What could I wear? Any tips you can think of. Again, have to say, love the show. Don't ever stop. You have a natural talent for making sex an endless word and endless sex. An endless world of fun and excitement. Thank you, Emily. Deborah from Fond du Lac, Wisconsin. She's a premium member.
Wisconsin.
I love it. She said there's not a lot of guys there, so I'm okay. Love this email. This email is so good and chock full and made my day.
All right, break it down for you.
Why? First of all.
She'S with someone who. She thinks Deborah is sexually conservative. It's her. It's. Is it her husband?
Yeah.
Conservative lover? No, no. Yeah, it's a conservative lover. And she said, and.
She wanted from the show. So that's one thing. She's with a conservative guy. She thinks from the show, which is like my intern said, it's like a dialogue. Like if you listen to this show Regularly. It's not like we just light and fun and whatever, but we're giving you real information that you can listen. A lot of people, like, every night, my intern goes home and listens to the show with her partner, and then they take stuff from it. So it's like, you can use this. Like, you don't have to bring up the conversation. I'll bring it up for you. You just listen to it with your partner. You're like, oh, I kind of want to try that. I kind of want to try that. So I love that people do that with the show. That makes me so happy. Like, it helps her. And she did it, and now. And she tied him up, and he liked it, and she thought he was conservative. She tied him up and he was down, but now she wants to do it, and she doesn't know if she can be dominant. So I'm gonna give her some tips there. Anyway, I just love that the show opened him up. I love that she thought he was conservative, but he was actually really into it. And I love that he tied her up and did a good job.
And turned around.
Why didn't they have a couple drinks if they learned anything from the show? It just makes everything better because they're.
Not learning from you. Okay, so here's the thing. When you want to be the dominant person, it is hard. Because I've had a guy ask me to be dominant with him, actually, recently. He's like a friend. Whatever. Long story short, it doesn't matter who he is, but he wants me to be, like, the dominant because he wants to be the submissive. He wants to be dominated. He wants me to whip him and do all this stuff. And I thought as an expert, he's like, I'll pay for you, Emily, to go to dominatrix and learn this stuff. And part of me thought, again, all in the sake of research, like, I'm gonna let the guy touch my clitoris. I should do this stuff just to learn and expand and grow and whatever. So I agree, Deborah, it is hard to learn if you ever thought of yourself as dominant. But. And I've been kind of grappling with this too, because I'm not really a dominant. I'm more of a submissive in bed. But I think we all have that side in us. I think we can bring it out. So be very confident and decisive about what you're doing. This is, like, my first thing Tarzan. Like, I know that you're not going to know what you're doing, but just. You're not Going to feel like, you know, but just be like, lay down. I'm going to tie you up. Like, just be decisive and confident with all your moves. Even if you think it sounds funny just because. Because you're in charge, you're the dominant. Okay. Fumbling too much of bondage isn't. Is boring and isn't going to expire confidence. You so don't. You don't do any perfect knots or anything. Like, you could just use like a blindfold and tie his hands. Make sure you know how to remove the bondage before you put it on. This is only important for safety, but also helps smooth running of the scene. And then what to wear? I would go to a store. I'd go there. They every city I know you're in Wisconsin. I'm from Michigan. I get it. It's not as easy, but you can buy like some latex thing. You could buy even a schoolgirl uniform. Something cute that's like sexy, that you feel good in boots, like black stilettos or something. And just like think about like, okay, like my first bondage thing was like, I blindfolded a guy. I've talked about this before. You blindfold him. You tie his arms up or whatever. And then you like, do something. You tease him. You tease him with feathers. You tease him with chocolate. You lick chocolate on him. You tease him with ice cubes. Pour ice cubes on his back. You tease him with, you know, whatever. Buy some bondage tape also. If you don't have bondage tape, that's a great thing to use. You can buy to Adam and Eve. But I would say just think of a few things that you want to do. Like maybe you're going to blindfold him and use a feather. Maybe you're going to blindfold him and use a massage candle. They have these amazing massage candles where you drip the wax on and it turns into massage oil. And then if he's blindfolded, you could do all these things to him that he doesn't know it's gonna happen. That's what I would say.
I would do ice cubes.
Ice cubes are awesome. Have you ever done ice cubes?
They're cheap. No, no, I never done put an.
Ice cube in your mouth when he doesn't. So he's not expecting the hot and cold sensation. So if you have one of these candles that you can burn, like they sell them at sex toy shops, I'm sure. Wisconsin. I don't know where Fond du Lac, Wisconsin is.
Hello, adameve.com.
Well, adameve.com. but I don't know how soon she wants to do this. But I would order a massage candle, I would order bondage tape and I would order like they've got sexy costumes there or whatever you want to wear. But you know, if you want to go the whole domination, I would say black sexy latex.
I say Indiana Jones whips, you know.
Sure, whatever turns you on.
So you can get your doom templed.
But you could also go to. You could also rent a movie. I mean you could rent something. There's like so many dominant movies you go to.
Not to plug all our sponsors, but.
Fire TV f y r e-tv.com is actually giving away 30 minutes free of porn to everybody who wants to watch it. So Deb, if you want actually because you're friends with benefits member, you will get that 30. Anyone who becomes a Friends Benefits member gets 30 minutes free. It is. They've 20000 titles. They're the Netflix of porn. You can watch it on your iPhone, your iPad, your computer. You can get a set top box for your television set like I have. You can do whatever you want. So I would say maybe watch some other rent, you know, watch some porn or find something online where with a woman. There's so many videos of people categories. Yeah. And you could just find one and watch a woman being dominant with a man. It's another way to do it. So watch a porn about it. That's what I gotta say. Okay. More. What?
No, no, no.
Do you think that you want to be dominated ever?
No, but I can dominate people if needed if they wanted to be.
Okay.
Yeah. But I don't think that's not something I'm into.
But would you be into dominating someone?
Yeah, if that's what they want. That's totally fine.
You're totally down with that. Okay, Emily, thanks for your advice in yesterday's show. Listening to the whole show got me thinking about toys. I've always had a fantasy about a girl doing me with a strap on. But if I but have had anything but haven't had anything in that area, am I. And I'm confused what type of toy to get. Thanks again, Justin. He's a premium member. You know, if you're a premium friends with benefits member that you get all that you get answers to all the sex advice that you need and that you want. It's like having this little sex therapist here. 15 cents a day, big sex therapist. We get to help you with everything.
It's a sandwich at the end of the month.
Sandwich okay. Bend Over Beginner Harness Kit is what I recommend. You can get them@adamandeve.com God, they're getting lots of stuff. Bend Over Beginner Harness Kit. It includes two dildos, a mini vibrator, and an adjustable velvet harness. Bend Over Beginners Kit comes jam packed with everything you need for experimenting with strap on or roll reversal. That's what I recommend. The two silicone dildos in the kit are specifically sized so you can break in your partner easy and gradually start off with the 4.5-inch model before graduating to the bigger brother, the 5 point inch, 5.5-incher. There's also a documentary that's been around forever. Carol Queen made it years ago called Bend Over Boyfriend, and it teaches women how to use strap on with her boyfriend. And it's very popular.
Yeah. And you had your friend, she was super funny that you went to school with. Yeah, she was all about it.
She was all about it. She bought a strap on. She didn't even know who she was gonna penetrate yet. But she wanted.
Yeah, she just wanted to do it.
She's like, I just want. I just want to penetrate someone. I've never had that desire as much, but I feel like, again, for the sake of research. Research. I should do it.
So point to penetrate a guy.
Yeah.
I'm sure there's a lot of guys out there that would be down for it. That's not.
I know, but I don't know who. Probably the guy that wants to be dominated by me. I would think the guy, my friend.
Yeah.
Who's like, will you go do this dominatrix class? I'll pay for you.
Like. Yeah, that's cool. Can I penetrate you anally?
That's cool, man. If only. If I can picture you, he'd be down. He'd be down. I'm not gonna do it. Okay. Maybe I gotta do more.
You gotta get out there.
I need to be expanding.
Yeah.
Dear Emily, love the show. I masturbate. My parents catch me sometimes. Any advice?
My parents catch me.
P.S. your podcast rocks. Kevin from Skype.
Thanks, Kevin.
Kevin. He was on Skype. Okay, Kevin, lock the door. Do it in the shower. I don't know. What do you do to hide it from your parents, man? That's when you're growing up. Yeah.
Do it in the shower, man.
Right? Is that what guys do?
Yeah, that's what you do.
They do in the shower. Lock the door.
Yeah.
Put your bed in front of the door so your mom can never get in your bedroom.
It's the easiest thing don't do it in the bedroom.
No, you can't, because your mom really walks in. She's like, honey, here's your cleaning. Here's your mean. Here's your laundry. Or do they just want to catch you?
No, they don't want to catch you. Of course your parents want to catch you masturbating. What kind of sick thought is that?
They're there. I don't know. Maybe they think. Well, I have a lot of religious friends who, like, had to hide it. They were afraid that their parents were gonna catch them, and it was, like, the wrong thing.
Well, you know, every time you masturbate, babies die. So you go to hell. Yeah.
That is sad. Okay, So I would say, yeah, Kevin, go in the shower or wait till your parents are gone. But they're gonna come in your room. They always do. Yeah, my mom once walked in the bathroom, and me, I was using the. I was taking a bath, and I was using the.
The faucet. The water coming out of the faucet to master. Like, it felt really. Oh, yeah, A lot of.
A lot of women do that. Yeah, they express that.
So I was like, oh, my God, it feels so good. My mom walked in, she's like, oh, I'm sorry. It was so bear. I was like, 20, though.
Like, look, I'm washing. I'm making sure I'm cleansed. It's not what you think.
Yes, exactly. So that was embarrassing. But it's my mom, who's the coolest chick on the planet, so she wasn't. But it wasn't just embarrassing.
I was baptizing my vagina.
Exactly. I was baptizing my vagina. Okay, we gotta get into the sex topic. We've got 10 minutes. I don't even know what happened.
Go for it.
Okay.
All right.
The younger a person starts having sex, the greater his or her chances of becoming infected with an STD. We are going to talk about STDs right now. I just want you to bear with me because everyone like.
No, no, I remember I was the first one ever to have an STD show. Remember I brought it up a long time ago.
No.
Yeah. I brought in some guy that. Some STD expert. See, you never remember anything. When we first got together.
When we first got together on Free fm.
Yeah, Free fm.
Yeah.
I had this guy in, and you were against it. You're like, oh, it's not sexy. I swear to God. So now the roles have been reversed.
Did you hate me, though?
No, I didn't hate you then. I was maybe Frustrated with you. But that's.
I didn't know anything. Okay, the younger.
But that's in the past.
People who have had sexual contact, not just intercourse, but any forms of intimate activity with many different partners are more at risk than those who stay with the same partner. So if you know a man whore or a woman whore, so that means.
You should only have sex with one person and then you should marry that person for life and you'll be fine.
Exactly. No. Sounds like what you're promoting, that's not realistic.
Why is that not realistic? People do it all the time.
I'm saying people who have sexual contact, not just intercourse, but any forms of injury activity with many different partners.
So don't have sex with multiple partners.
Don't have sex with. If you're worried about getting sttd. If you're worried about getting std, std, we're going to tell you about ways to prevent it. But, but, but I'm also saying that if you're with like this guy or this woman who, you know, sleeps around a lot, they're more likely, you're more likely to have an STD. Now, many people have STDs and don't even know that they have them. That is a big concern that people have them. They're walking around, they've got herpes, they've got things that hasn't even shown up on them. And so this is a problem. The 10 most common latex commons are the only form of birth control that reduce your risk of getting an STD and must be used every time. You must use condoms every time. Top 10 most common STDs syphilis, chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes, AIDS, hepatitis, genital warts, cancroid, public lice, crabs, trichomosinus, trichomoniasis. I don't know what that is, but it's common. How can I protect myself from STDs? Use a latex comment every time you have sex. If you use a lubricant, make sure it's water based. Limit your number of sexual partners, practice monogamy. I'm just saying these are ways you can avoid it. I'm not saying you're going to do it.
So you're preaching monogamy. Not gonna me.
Yeah.
I'm like, yes.
I'm like Barbara Bush, give me some monogamy. Monogamy is truly a way to. Yeah.
So why are you against it?
I'm not against monogamy. I wish that I, I wish that I was for.
I wish That I was monogamy.
I wish I was in a monogamy.
Why can't I say monogamy today?
I wish I was in a monogamous relationship and super happy and like monogamous right now. That would be so interesting. That would just be an interesting side of me, wouldn't it? If I was like, oh, my hubby.
And I would be crazy.
Or my partner and I last night made dinner and then we watched a movie.
It would be a side that I've of you before.
I don't think it's gonna happen anytime, Sam. Choose your partners with care. Don't have sex with someone whom you Suspect has an STD. Get checked for STDs. Don't risk giving the infection to someone else. Don't use alcohol or drugs before you have sex. Menace. You may be likely. You must may be less likely to use a condom if you are drunk or high.
I'm never drunk or high, so I should be fine.
Know the signs and symptoms of STDs. Look for them in yourself and your sex partners. Learn about STDs. STDs. The more you know, the better you can protect yourself. So what are the symptoms?
Look at somebody. I mean, I can look at people and know what they have.
Really? I'm just kidding. Sometimes there are no symptoms of STDs. If symptoms are present, they may include one or more of the following. Bumps, sores, warts near the mouth, anus, penis or vagina, swelling or redness. It's true, like I. Well, I don't know. As a woman, like I've noticed bumps on guys penises and been like, what the hell's that? Been like, what? What is it? Sometimes it's just like skin grafts and it's not anything. But.
I actually, I will tell the story. It's a very personal story. But it was a guy that I was dating for a while. I ended up dating him for like two years. But he had like a wart and he didn't know what it was. And it was just sitting there and like I didn't. Thank God I didn't catch anything. But it worked. You can. They're not like herpes. You don't have forever. But he got, went in and got it taken off, but thought it was just some weird growth. But it was a war, which is gross, which is not gross. But I was like, go take care of that skin rash. These are other things. But I'm saying like, look at your mind, look at your person's penis. Or if you're going down on a woman. Like check out her vagina. She might not even know, but she might have some skin. So some other things you have are skin rashes, painful urination, weight loss, loose stools, night sweats, aches, pains, fevers and chills, yellowing of the skin, discharge from the penis or vagina, bleeding from the vagina after sex, painful sex, severe itching near the penis or vagina. That's what you got to look for. That's hot, right? How to talk to your partner about STDs and bring up sexual history. This is a big one. Listen, here are some ideas for just getting the conversation. For getting the conversation started. Just ask the question. Have you ever had an std? See what happens. Data shows that a lot of people lie, particularly to casual sex partners, but others will be quite honest with you. So a lot of people do lie about it. They have to like but. But you should not lie. You should be honest and it's not the end of the world. And people will sleep with you because you can. There's way we're gonna talk about ways to have sex if you do have herpes. Ways that you can have sex. Get tested. Since it's just as possible that you have an STD you aren't aware of, get tested. That way you can share your information and hopefully get an honest response.
Return.
If you both need to be tested, you could plan to go together.
Share your history. Let your partner know about your status and how you handle it. Especially if you have an STD like herpes that can never be fully cured. Discuss prevention. There are some steps you can take on your own, such as getting vaccinated against HPV and being prepared with your own condoms. But safe sex usually takes 25 questions to ask your partner before having sex. Have you ever been tested positive for a sexually transmitted disease.
Menace? If you've been diagnosed with herpes or genital warts, are you having outbreaks? Are you being treated? Do you have any objection to using a condom? Are you on any form of birth control? Which sexual activities do you want to engage in? These are the questions you have to have. Like, I was dating a guy and I found. This was years ago and I found in his drawer. Not that I was going through his drawers. It was not.
The pills. The herbie pills. What are they called?
They're called.
Dammit, I forget. I know what it is though.
They're treated with antibiotics. It's called.
X something X. I can't remember what it was, but I know it was a Herpes drug. And he never told me he had herpes. And we were using condoms all the time. And thank God he was taking the drug because the drug does stop you from having outbreaks. I can't think of the name of it. It's killing me right now. But there's like a typical. There's like two or three drugs that everyone takes if they have herpes. And I was like. And I never said anything.
Valtrex.
Valtrex.
Thank you. Yeah.
I never said anything to him because I felt that we were being safe. And I wasn't even that into it. This was years ago. But I just was like, why didn't he tell me? But I. Then I don't think I asked. Anyway, look at their medicine cabinet and find out if they have herpes. I'm serious. Where can I get an STD test? Your local Planned Parenthood health center. Many other clinics, private healthcare providers, and healthcare departments offer STD tests.
Well, you can get home home ones now, can you? Yeah.
I didn't know that. How are STDs treated with many. Many are treated with antibiotics. Okay. If you're dating someone with herpes, how do you protect yourself if you keep having sex? Use a latex condom. Latex condom offers some protection. Your partner should tell you when symptoms flare up, which is when the virus is most contagious. Avoid sex when your partner has symptoms. So when they're having the flare ups, like, right. The first few days is when you should totally avoid it. And if they're on Valtrex or they're taking some kind of drug for it, they're not going to have as many outbreaks. But if they're not. Okay, here's some myths about genital herpes and STDs. Okay, myth one.
I have genital herpes. I should never have sex again. It's a myth. You can still have sex if you have genital herpes. Minus. It is, however, important to avoid sexual contact if you have any symptoms or oral or genital sores. It is important to note, too, that the virus can be transmitted orally to the genitals during oral sex. So that's what they were talking about on the Jersey Shore, just to bring it back.
Yeah.
Is that giving, Performing oral sex?
That's what they're asking about.
If I have herpes and it's in my mouth and I'm giving oral sex to someone, a man, you can put on his wiener. Yep. That's why people get cold sores all the time. Okay. Myth 2 Cold sores are not associated with genital herpes. Cold sores are caused by herpes simplex virus type 1. If you have oral genital sex with someone who has a cold sore, the virus can give you genital herpes and vice versa. This is scary. You were listening to this?
I'm listening. I'm taking it.
All of this particularly high during an outbreak. Washing with soap or water after a sexual encounter can help decrease the risk of this type of transmission. Myth 3. You can contract genital herpes from toilet seats. It's actually not true. The genital herpes virus dries out when it's exposed to air and is quite fragile. There have been no proven case of genital herpes. Transitions from toilet seat.
But still use the sheet, man.
Put the sheet down.
Yeah.
Stress can trigger the truth. Here's the truth. Stress can trigger an outbreak of herpes. It is believed that physical and emotional stress can trigger an outbreak of genital herpes in some people. Stress can compromise your immune system, so get adequate rest and exercise. So that's helping people under stress. It's going to flare up. Here's the truth. If you have genital herpes, you may be more susceptible to HIV.
That sucks.
Yep. Myth 6. Genital herpes can make you sterile. Genital herpes cannot make you sterile. However, chlamydia and some other sexually transmitted can cause sterility if they go untreated. Okay, myth seven. We gotta go after this. I've been in a monogamous relationship with my partner for several years and just been diagnosed with genital herpes. My partner must have cheated on me. Oh, no. This is a good one. You or your partner may have contracted the virus from a sexual partner a long time ago, or you or your partner may have had genital herpes all along without knowing it. Genital herpes outbreaks can occur with very mild symptoms that go unnoticed. So he or she might not have cheated on you. So they don't know who it. That's the thing. It's like you can't place it. Like, it's not like some guy gave it to you or some girl you don't know. Okay, we're gonna have to get through the rest of these tomorrow, okay? Cause. Oh, tomorrow. I'm so excited for tomorrow's show, we're gonna have Julia Allison on the show. We're talking about technology and relationships. She's an online phenomenon. She does a lot of technology writing. She's been a dating columnist, and she does a lot of writing about technology like Facebook and dating. And all that stuff. So we're talking all about that tomorrow. I'm very excited to have her here. Thanks everyone for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com there's one overlooked mineral.
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