Episode 272 - Reasons for Cheating

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Look into his eyes.

They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them in a bygone day.

Hey Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cuz my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standards. Oh my.

The women know about shrinkage.

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks.

Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me? Oh my God. Feel so good.

Being bad feels pretty good. You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships and everything in between. For more information about Sex with Emily, go to sex with emily.com where that's just. Everything's happening with sex. It's your go to sex news.

Everything's happening with sex.

It's just it.

You know What?

Tired, Gotta wake up.

Are you a homeless wino? What's going on?

It was a long Weekend, dude.

Really?

Yeah. I mean, you know, Menace was like, over time, like. Yeah. I shouldn't even complain about me being tired.

So what happened this weekend? There was a big music festival. Yes, Big music festival called Outside Lands. Some of the headliners were arcade Fire, Muse, Deadmau 5. I can't. There was. There were so many bands, right?

Shins.

The Shins. And is about maybe four football fields long. Maybe it could be even more. I don't even know.

With hills.

With hills and dirt and dust and hiking. Nature.

Yes. And you're constantly walking back and forth, back and forth. And I'm here, I'm over here and trying to meet friends and the cell phones aren't working and blah, blah, blah. We want to go to this show. We want to go to that show. Oh, and I'm hungry. Oh, and I got a pee. And did I mention I need a drink? Like literally it was like a round of just like drinks. Peeing, concert music. Walking, walking drink. I mean, it's fun. It was kind of exhausting.

That's why I've been dead. Because it's the same thing at Lollaplus in Chicago, which I just did the week before.

Oh, no, dude. How did you do both of them?

That's crazy.

You must be beyond tired after this.

I'm going to bed.

Did you see anything weird? Crazy sexy at the concert?

Crazy sexy.

Any hot backstage actions?

Hot backstage action? No, I was kind of dead this year. But I did enjoy like the first day. There was already this girl like puking at like 1pm and the thing started at 1.

It started at 12. Yeah. Oh my God. She was probably doing some day partying, had little mimosas with her breakfast or something.

But there was definitely. I kind of knock this area saying, oh, where are all the beautiful women at? But then they show up at the concerts.

At the concerts, I believe. I thought there was a hot. I thought it was a good looking crowd.

Yeah, there was a really good looking.

For sure. Yeah. But I didn't meet anyone.

You didn't meet anybody?

No.

What were you doing these days?

It was a waste of time. Walking in circles looking for people.

Seriously? That's it?

It was fun. No, I was listening to music, hanging out with friends. I went with vip, which was awesome for three days, which was great. And because you can kind of get away from the people, the masses, the commoners. The commoners, exactly. And. And it was fun, good music. I just, I was a little tired. Like you got to get out there and then you got to get Back and it's all the miles to get there. But I went. It was fun. My friend had a ride. The food's amazing. Did you get to eat any food? Oh, I think it's great food.

Oh yeah. I didn't have anything classy, but I had like.

You're like. I had tater tots.

I had tater tots.

I knew you were going to say tater tots. I knew you had the tater tots.

Oh, I did have something kind of. I had. What was it? I had sliders, but it was flamingon. Oh, flamingon sliders and. Yeah, but we do we get free beer backstage.

Oh, that's good. Oh, so you.

Beers and ice cream. There's this guy called the ice cream man and he travels to all these music festivals and he's sponsored by like Ben and Jerry's and all he does is hand out free ice cream.

Oh, I missed him. I would have been so happy if I saw him.

I see him all over the country.

Wow. And then I lost my phone. No, I lost my phone, but I got it back.

Was that because you were wasted?

Yeah.

One of those girls that are wasted.

I've never lost my phone because I was not in the. The best state of mind, I have to say. And I got there Saturday night late because I was. I was supposed to get there earlier and this whole chain of events happened that prevented me from getting there.

Those chain events. Chain of events sound interesting.

They were. So you want to share them? Yeah, no. I was making out with this guy in Dolores Park.

Okay.

This guy that I'm dating. Whatever. It was fun. So I was late meeting with my friends and I was in the sun in Dolores park, which was actually sunny and really, really nice because the rest of the friggin city and where this park is, is cold. Where the outside lands. So then I was drinking, hanging out the park. Dolores park is this really fun park on the weekends in San Francisco. And I was like, oh, gotta get the concert, meet all my friends. So I got to the concert and I. I couldn't find my friend. Like, I just couldn't. And they were like, we're at Lands End and I just was messed up and couldn't find it. And I was walking in circles and I was like, oh, I think I'll have some pizza though. And then maybe I have some calamari. And then I was eating food trying to find him. I know, I'm super fun. And then I. And then I. And then I finally found my friend at the very end who had a limo, which was the perfect time to find her because getting out of there was a cluster f. And I. And so she took me home. And it was really fun. So getting home, no problem. But my phone. So I don't know what I did. Like, you know me, I'm phone obsessed. Like, phone is right here. Like, it's never too far away from me. And then all of a sudden, I was like, buying food and it was gone. And I had one of those purses with like 100 zippers in it. So I sat down on the floor, methodically went through the floor, I sat down on the dirt, and I methodically went through everything, every single zipper. And just to find it was gone. So when I ran into my friend Lindsay at the end of the night, she goes, oh, my God, you lost your phone. He called me, the guy who has your phone, because she was the last person I talked to, blah, blah, blah. He got. I got it back the next day. But losing your phone just sucks.

Yeah, it does.

And I had plans to meet up with people later in the night. I never got my phone back to the next morning. So whatever.

That's terrible.

It was terrible. It was terrible. But we missed you on Friday. Intern's gone wild again. When you're not here, you miss it.

Real quick, though. But if anybody want to see a bunch of photos I took, oh, go tell them 2000 of them and it's up on my blog.

You took 2,000 photos over the weekend? What's your blog? Whitemenace.com Whitemenace.com Just go there and you'll.

See all the stuff.

Are there any pictures of you?

No, it's just pictures of you.

There's more pictures of you.

Pictures of the band and stuff like that.

F the band. I want more pictures of Menace. Oh, no, no. Okay. So the other thing I have to say is that.

Facebook. Do you know that every day, if you like the Facebook page, and you might have already liked it, which is awesome, it's Sex with Emily. Facebook.com Facebook.com Sex with Emily we're giving away three free month membership if you like us on Facebook. So we want to congratulate all the winners we've been posting on the Sex Emily page. And so just go over there and like it right now because you get three months.

Facebook.com sexwithemily Exactly.

And it's a good little promotion thing. We're really excited about it. 3. Lots of people are very happy about it. And so. So here's the winners I want to congratulate. Okay, Felicia, Ms. Campbell, Ben Dumas and Tina Williams, they've all won a free three month subscription and all access to the Sex with Family website. Thanks for being your friends with benefits and your like on Facebook. So just gotta go like it. We're giving away every single day for a while at the end of the amazing, maybe even a little longer. I don't even know. It's amazing. And I wanna thank everyone for becoming friends with benefits. We're getting more and more every single day. It is awesome. You get all these shows, you get Magnus and I here answering your questions and, and your questions go to the top of the list. We're also giving away free condoms. That's the latest thing from lifestyle brands. And free porn if you join. So condoms, porn, what more do you need? I'm not sure. Really not sure what else you need?

Oh, can I, can I, can I pimp something out? They're not a sponsor. I don't get paid by them or anything like this. But they're in a few major cities around the country. And it's amazing, it's how I got home. Because right now.

I'm sponsored by Scion, where I get carved through Scion. But since the Japan earthquake happened, the new car that I'm supposed to get, I don't have it yet.

Right.

So I'm like a month without a car right now.

Got it.

And I had to get home. And my house is so far away from so far away and there's thousands of people and you like, you can't get a cab unless you want to get on a bus that's just jam packed with people and it's terrible. So what there is, there's a service called Uber. You go to uber.com and it's an app that you can down for download for your phone and it uses GPS for where you're at. And you go, okay, pick, pick me up. And you, you just click a button and a private town car comes by.

No way.

Pulls up right in front of you. Just take the town car home.

How? But all the people, what's everyone like? Oh, that's my town car. That's my town. They know.

They know your name.

I heard a lot of people talking about that.

Yeah. And you just pay through your phone and everything. It's.

Wow. Is it? They charge you more though.

They charge you a little bit more.

It's worth it. Because you cannot. If you've never been to San Francisco. There's things you need to know in the winter. I mean, in the summer, it's freezing. So, like, we're all at the park and we're freezing. I have a cashmere sweater, hat, and gloves. My nose is running because I was so cold. And the other thing you need to know is you can never, ever get a cab. And if there's a concert with 40, 50,000 people, 90,000 people, not gonna be the day that you're gonna get a cab. Yeah.

It'll take you hours to get anywhere.

So thank God. My friend, she came like a beacon of light and said, we have a limo right over here, Emily. And it was perfect. And they drove me home.

Nice.

I know. And the first night, my friend was a vendor because his restaurant was there. So we got. So he had a parking spot.

Cool.

Yeah. So it wasn't too much of a. It wasn't too bad. So. Yeah. Any other good stories?

Not really.

Okay.

Honey, just to people.

I've been dealing this. Dealing with this my entire, like, ever since I started doing, like, media coverage at, like, concert events. What do you mean we can't hang out? You don't have. I'm like, no, I can't hang out.

You worked the whole time. I know. I texted you. I was like, like, where are you? But I didn't think I'd really see.

Yeah, but remember when we were. The day before it happened, I showed you my schedule. Like, my schedule was down to the minute.

Yeah, yeah.

The entire time, bitches.

I'll hang out with you another time.

I know, but I just, like, oh, man, it was so rough. Like, no one. They don't understand. Like, even. They go, oh, yeah, okay, cool. Yeah, whatever. And they go.

And they were mad.

They still get upset. Like, people just like a lot of people get upset.

That's not the front. I would never get upset with you. I understand that you're busy, but I still did text you to see where you're at. Okay, Some. Okay. We're going to be reading some. We've got some good topics today. Okay. Emails. Topics include overstaying your welcome at someone's house, sexy voices, reverse cowgirl and female hand jobs. And the teaser for today's show is. The topic is why do we cheat? And can relationships survive an affair? And we just posted on Facebook and someone wrote, we cheat because we are all horny bastards. Some guy just commented that menace doesn't cheat. But that's what they say. So we're talking about cheating, how to deal with it, what to do, what are the signs that someone's cheating? Which comes up a lot because people are cheating all over the place.

Can I ask you something real quick, please, before we get into all that stuff?

I just wanted to tease people so they know what's going on.

You mentioned that it was an intern Friday thing and I wasn't here, so what the hell happened on Friday?

What the hell happened on Friday? Well, it's our free Friday show, and my interns went speed dating and they talked about their speed dating event, their speed dating adventures, and speed dating is really cool. They went to hurry date event. Because here's the thing about speed dating, is that everyone's dating online now. But if you go speed dating, you got an hour and you meet 20 people and then you go home. Like, otherwise, you got to date with one person, and that's that one hour at least that you guys went with the person. Unless you're me, and I get it in 45 minutes. But if you're with them for an hour, you might as well meet that many people and you. Five minutes. So the girl. So the woman sits at one place and the guys rotate around you, and then you have five minutes, they ring a bell, and you talk. So my. So they did that. They went speed dating and they had some matches. They had fun. They didn't. They didn't meet, like the guy of their dreams, but they had good times. I'm trying to think what else happened? What else? Anything else? Crazy?

It wasn't too crazy.

No nudity.

Just said something that was terrible.

Does anyone say anything? I think. Well, I think. Well, here's the problem. The guy in the bar. Oh, they were talking about how there was no cute guys or something. And then the guy in the bart was sitting right next to them. That was bad. Oh, man, he was dead. Girls are so harsh. But the problem is I also got them a little drunk before they went because it was one of the interns last days and her birthday.

Yeah.

So I got him some shots and the bartender was buying them shots, so they were a little wasted. So. But, you know, I had to go speed dating a few years ago for work. And I did some research and I liked it. I actually did. I think I had a boyfriend at the time, but I was doing it for work. I really was doing it for work. But I remember meeting a few guys that I thought were really cute. So I was gonna go. I am gonna go at some point. Just do it for fun. But that's. We talked about and you know, various other things. You'll have to listen to this.

It's a lot more Tame than last time, it seems.

Yeah. Like no one got naked and crazy. Not that they got naked last time. They just talked about all their sex life. It's amazing. My interns really. It changed my life. They have.

That's good.

They got all those great stories. They learning stuff, you know, you see, it's like having children. It's like, you see, like what? You know, and then they come in and then they learning all the other stuff on their own and it's like, except exploring and growing and changing and all that stuff. Their sexuality is expanding. It's amazing to see. It's amazing to watch. Okay, sex in the news.

What's in the news?

Here's what we got in the news. New birth control rules may shake up behavior. You heard about new birth control rules that Obama has said that we are now going to be paying for contraception. Health plans will have to cover contraceptives, contraception and seven other women's preventive care items. Okay. So half of all U.S. pregnancies are unintended, a rate that's unchanged in 30 years. And about one in three women will have an abortion by the time she's 45. So teen pregnancy has gone down considerably. The unplanned pregnancy rate among their older siblings has remained high. About seven in 10 pregnancies among married women in their 20s are unplanned. So next year it'll be interesting to see what happens when they have like the methods approved by the US Food. Like, they're going to pay for this. This is huge. They're going to pay for birth control pills, patches, injections, implants, vaginal rings, condoms, sterilization, IUDs and emergency and morning after pills and all that shit we had to pay for before. Yeah, that's a lot of stuff that women have to take.

I fully endorse it. I just don't know where the money's coming from. And people. Are people going to be complaining about that?

I don't know. Men get everything else for free. They don't think it. Men get like Viagra free or whatever.

I don't know. I think I definitely know.

So anyway, this is a big deal that this is finally happening because it just makes sense. Okay.

But yeah, I fully support it. Oh, mind my tax dollars going to that because that's nice if you really. If it's preventing a lot of stuff people don't want to bring into the world.

Right, Exactly.

I have to pay for that anyways.

Exactly. And a lot of women have cited that it's just expensive and that's why they don't get birth control. So now it's all going to be available. This is just major, major move forward. Okay. Scientists develop straw that detects date rape drugs.

So Israeli scientists have developed a new device that looks like a swizzle stick, but can actually detect date rate drugs that might have been put into your drink. The device, which goes on sale this month, is able to pick up on traces GHB and ketamine, two of the most commonplace date rape drugs. Using a chemical reaction in the straw. A red light comes on alerting the user that their drink has been spiked. Wow. Can you imagine if you're like about to dive into your martini and it was being spiked? That would suck. Have you ever been date raped? I was once.

What?

I was in Indonesia. I was traveling alone and I got. I was on a little island in Indonesia, this tiny island, and my friends and I got. Not date raped. I didn't get raped, but it was a date rape drug. Like we were, we were totally knocked off our ass.

I haven't been date raped, but I.

Definitely, like, I've never been date raped.

Let me just say that I've definitely blacked out where it seemed like I was right. I always wake up the next morning with so much business cards. I'm like, I don't even remember talking.

Exactly. That's when you throw them away because they won't remember you either. No, but I was like, in Indonesia, we were like, thought we were gonna like take some like psychedelic mushrooms or something, but it ended just knocking us out.

That's bad.

It was really bad. I didn't. My eyesight was gone for like two days.

I was traveling alone, 25 years old, in the middle of friggin nowhere.

Your mom lets you do that? That's crazy.

Yeah. This was before. Before, like it was easy to make phone calls from other places. Like you didn't have your own cell phones and stuff like that. It was very sad. My mom didn't care. She doesn't care. Can you tell why? The way I am. The way I am?

Yeah.

She's like, whatevs. Have fun. Write me a letter. What were you gonna say? Nothing.

Just like, I don't know.

My mom was. My mom was worried. She was worried. She should have been. Okay. Follow up story. This is a follow up story from last week. Sex scandalized airline cancels Ill timed ad campaign. So I don't know if you were here, but there was. I think this is the same story as the two people. The pilot who's getting oral. Getting oral sex from a 10. A flight attendant. And so. Okay, so while he was flying. Unclear. It was not clear at first. I know.

Hong Kong. Yeah. Roadhead can happen in the air. Okay. Hong Kong based airlines says two of its employees who were shown in compromising positions are no longer employees of the company. The advertising campaign with the slogan claiming the airline is the team who goes the extra miles to make you feel special was canceled yesterday. Imagine that this pilot was like, yeah, getting oral sex in the cockpit. Now, maybe it was his lunch break, but you still shouldn't be doing that shit and taking pictures of it.

If he was doing it in the air, I would give that guy a high five.

No. What if you were? Exactly. But he's like flying this plane full of all these people.

He hasn't crashed any planes, has he?

So we'll never know because he was fired. Weak. Weak. Okay. Could put. Could porn help prevent rape? A new report suggests that pornography could deter sexual violence. The study says that porn could actually lower the amount of sexual violence. Some experts of the report believe the consumption of pornography may actually reduce the desire to rape by offering a safe private outlet for deviant sexual desires. The report also cites a professor of psychology and criminal justice who says that though porn is more available now than it's ever been, rates of rapes and sexual assault in the US are their lowest levels since 60s. But how are they tying that into porn? Why? Why? Is it because I don't know if it's because of porn that the rates have gone down, but I guess there was a study. Maybe some people are getting there. They're like, oh, I was gonna go like rape and kill this woman, but instead I just watched porn about it.

Teen Bangers 9.

Exactly. I think I'll just watch some pervy stuff on my Internet here. Yeah, that's good, I guess if the rates have gone down. But I don't know that that's why. But porn preventing rape. I think if you're someone who's gonna rape someone, you're probably gonna rape someone. But let's hope they're right. Okay. Taco Bell worker.

Taco Bell worker Jason Dean allegedly handcuffed himself to women who refuse dates.

Oh yeah, I heard about this.

Desperate. Can you say desperate? A Taco Bell employee came out a bit too strongly when he allegedly handcuffed himself to a co worker who rejected his romantic advances for weeks. Jason Dean's overtures were meant to be were met with repeated rejection from his would be sweetheart, identified only as Rebecca 18 year old Rebecca even scheduled her work hours to deliberately avoid overlapping shift. She told police she was leaving for work when Dean showed up wanting to talk. When she refused, he cuffed his wrists to her. A trio of Taco Bell employees saw the commotion and demanded he release her. He was arrested at his home two days later. That sounds crazy. She's working with some crazy people. I have to say, if men who's wanted to date me, I've never had a guy like handcuff himself to me.

Well, what I heard from the story is that he kept on asking her out and then.

Instead of her like saying something, she just asked to be changed shifts.

Right?

So when she changed shifts, that's when he got upset and then he just showed up until when she was getting off work and then he threw the handcuffs on.

Is he thinking that the handcuffs is gonna be some somehow like great. This great fact that winter over, she's.

Like, oh my God.

She's gonna be like, oh my God. Like, you know, handcuffs. That was a good move.

You are the one that I've been waiting for my entire life.

Great move with the handcuffs. Sly little dog.

I feel so connected with you right now.

I know. God, what an idiot. Okay, we've got some more penis mischief. We've had a few penis stories in the last few weeks. So some guy. Last week, were you here when the guy shot his penis with a pink pistol?

No.

Yeah, Some dude shot his penis with a pink pistol this week and this week, penis mischief. There were some genitals set on fire. When a 20 year old man exposed his penis to a woman at a bar. She set it on fire. As all good women should do. The woman says he not only exposed himself, but groped her. Various reports that she splashed the man's penis with sambuca, then used a lighter to set it on fire. Wow. The man is recovering from secondary second degree burns on his chest. And adamant. Okay, dude, stop showing your dicks.

Like, I don't understand. I don't know. I don't understand how guys get off on that. Where they just like the whole flashing thing.

I know. They're like, she's gonna. Because. Because you know what, it's a numbers game. They're like, some woman's gonna find that hot way.

Some women never. Some women might be like encourage it. No woman is.

I'm not encouraging it.

Gonna find that hot. Like, oh my God, I want this guy now.

I'm not, I'm not.

I hear about stories on public transit all the time of guys Whipping out their wieners in front of chicks.

I don't get.

I don't get it either. I told you, it happened to me a bunch in New York that one time.

The thinking, like, the thinking behind that, I don't.

It has nothing to do with a person as to their own like fetishes, like their own, like outdoor, like their own obsessions with. With flashing people. Sick.

Do not try that with me because I will murder you violently.

You will pour sambuca on their penis and light it. Light it. A flame. Okay. NASA must study SpaceX scientist says the Journal of Cosmology has published a special issue detailing the mission to Mars. In a chapter titled Sex on Mars, the author discusses everything from the social conditions that would push astronauts have sex to the possibility of the first child being born on another planet. The chapter details the possible effects of anti gravity on menstruation and fertility, as well as significance of a child born on Mars. On Mars, the light's gonna be different, the gravity will be different. It's a completely different atmosphere. So if you put an infant on Mars, they would adapt to that varying degrees of the new environment. So they're talking about having sex in space and kids in Mars.

We're not even going to space anymore though.

Why? Because all this messed up stuff, this costs so much. I know, I know, but they're studying it. Maybe they should be studying other stuff, I don't know. But that's what's happening with that. Okay, so I've got some emails.

All right, what do you got?

Well, this is what I've got.

Do they say where they're from? I like when they say, yeah, if.

You write us an email, say that where you're from. Just say where you're from and you can change your name. We don't care if you want to change your name. Call yourself anything you want, but we just want to know where you're from. Helps us a lot. Okay, so, and just I want to say this again, that we are having this Facebook event and if you want three months free of Ex Emily, all you have to do is like the Sex Family Facebook page. Every day one person is randomly selected to win. And if you're already a fan, you're still eligible. So if you're selected, we'll send you a message. So please do that. Here's our new poll on sex with emily.com. it's very simple. Have you ever had sex with a co worker? Yes or no?

That's it.

That's it. We already know Menace's answer. He stepped his way halfway around the building.

So, yes, I aim to please. I go the extra mile.

I know. You do or you don't because you just date the women who are right there. You're like, hey, you just sitting next to me in the cubicle. Let's bang.

What's wrong with that?

Nothing wrong with that, dude. I've done it. So I did talk about that on Friday. Was that Friday? I talked about the sex in the office. I talked about having sex with this guy at this job I had, like, a long time ago. But we closed his door and had sex in the office. No one knew we were dating. It was fairly scandalous. You missed that story on Friday. So go vote at sex with ellie.com and do that right now and send us your questions. Any sex questions you have, we will answer them right here. Sex and relationships questions. We've got them. Hi, Emily Menace. I have a relationship question. My boyfriend of a year and a half seems to be. Seems to overstay his welcome a lot. He knows I don't want to live together because I'm not ready for that big step. But he has stayed in my house for about a month straight, slowly moving little things in, and it's driving me nuts. I recently told him not to come over one night and he had a tantrum asking me if everything's okay, are we breaking up, et cetera.

What a vagina.

I'm feeling smothered and it's making me question the relationship. What should I do? FYI, I've had the talk with him numerous times about needing space. Thanks, Michelle from Nottingham, Maryland. She's a premium friends with benefits member, which is why we're answering your email first. Okay, dude, Michelle, what do you like about this guy? I'm not clear. He sounds so sort of like a drip. He sounds sort of like a vagina. Like men have said. Not that I label people, but. No, really, like you asked him not to stay. You've had the talk with him and he's still staying. Does he not have money? Does he just being a deadbeat. Does he not have a job? Is he. If he stay, he's maybe. If he's staying with you for months straight, is he offering to pay things and do things around the house? That's one thing. He should at least be very grateful. But you also told him that you're not ready for that step yet. So I'm surprised that he's not moving out. So it sounds like there's probably other. He's not hearing You. Because he's like, is he in a desperate situation, which also is not attractive?

Or is he in love?

No, he's not in love. He's being a deadbeat. She told him to move out, basically. What should she do? She's had the talk with him numerous times about needing space. I think you need to spell it out. I think a lot of times. Let me just say this, Michelle, is that a lot of times people think they're having the talk and they're not having the talk. So the fact that you've said you've had it several times, and you seem like an articulate, smart woman to me, you haven't really had the talk. You haven't had the talk that you've had with me saying, I don't want him here. He's smothering me, and it's making me question the relationship. That's the kind of talk you have to have with him. This kind of stuff that you think that you're probably like, well, you know, it's been a month, and I'm just wondering, when do you think you might be moving out? No, no. That's probably the kind of talk you're having. You're not saying, not cool. We live together. I mean, I'm not ready to move into each other. What's your plan for moving out? So that's what you got to say to him or just end the relationship. He's just being. If he's sucking the life out of.

You, say, Deuces, man.

What do you think?

I think he's just disrespectful. You got to give him a. If you. If you already told him to move out, you got to put a time limit.

You got to put a time limit on this day.

I need you out.

And I think that's great. I think it's like, what month is it now? August. You could be like, okay, by September 1st. I hope you have a place because I really don't think that he's not listening to you. And that's the first time. Like, where else is anyone else? I want to know, Michelle. Where else in the relationship is he not hearing you? I think you should look at that, too, because usually it's not just an isolated incident. Hi, Emily. As a very happy Friends with Benefits member, I was listening to an episode recently where Menace was gone and one of your interns was kind of sitting in for him and co hosting the show with you. I kept thinking, wow, she has a really cute and sexy voice. And then it suddenly hit me that she sounds amazingly like the sexy voice I heard in a podcast that I used to listen to a few years ago where the woman would read sexy erotic stories. So I'm just curious, is this the same girl from that podcast? Maybe Keep the grade work D from Cincinnati. It is not. As far as I'm concerned. It was either Aaron or Kelsey, I think, and they both have super sexy voices. Kelsey's a little whispering when you say Kelsey's a little like, has a raspier voice. And Aaron's like, really sweet and sexy. So I'm not sure who was. But no, as far as I know, they have not been on other podcasts whoring themselves out. Just here. Okay. Yeah. Emily. Dear Emily, you miss it. Just a thought. On reverse Cowgirl, my wife gets very frustrated when we are having sex and she is on top. Because with a woman on top, I rarely achieve a finish and she thinks it is something wrong with her. One night a few years ago, we tried that reverse cowgirl position and the finish hem came quicker than expected. I think she may have gone to the bathroom and high fived herself in the mirror afterwards. Peace, Scott. Okay, this is interesting. So reverse cowgirl is when the woman's like, she's on top, but she's reversed and she's facing your knees. That's a way to put it. Right. So she's not looking at you. She's looking at your feet, your knees, and you are able to look at. And the reason why you probably were able to go so quickly. Peace, Scott. Is because when a woman. This pop. This position is very popular, I think, for men because they love watching their penis go in and out. And you can see the woman's body ass going up and down, and it can be kind of hot for a lot of men. Maybe. That's why. And so she high fived herself because she's like, wow, I was finally on top and he was finally able to have an orgasm. That's good. That's awesome you found reverse cowgirl. But the thing that I have to say is that your wife is getting frustrated that she's on top and you can't finish. That is something not to get frustrated about because we all have our ways that we can finish. And a lot of guys can't finish with a woman on top. Many men can't. Many men can. Maybe you can learn it. But if that's not how you finish and you got to roll over and get on top or do whatever you have to do, I don't think she should get Frustrated that she's not turning you on. A lot of guys can't.

Yeah. Just let her do her thing and get to her point and then go into a different position.

Yeah. Well, I don't understand. I'm not sure why white bums are out, but I guess I'm not the chick that gets bummed out about that stuff. And I get that. Women do because they feel like one of the biggest issues women have during sex, that they're insecure across the board and they overanalyze it and they're insecure. Well, same thing as being insecure. They're overanalyzing, they're insecure. She thinks, oh, my God, I probably looked fat when I was on top and it wasn't turning them on. Like, that's probably what's going through her mind. And so. So you just have to reassure her that it's like nothing to do with her. She totally floats your boat, turns you on. But you just need to be on top or wherever you need to be behind her. That's how I feel. Hey, Emily and Menace. I like how you two talk about what really happens in real sex life and the tips you share with us. What do you think about the hand job performed on women? Jose from Mexico?

The hand job performed on women?

Yeah. What about performing? What about like fingering a woman? What about performing? What about using your hand on a woman? What do we think about it?

What do women think about it?

Yeah. What do. What do we think?

I'm not a woman, so I can't. I can't.

But like, what do you think about doing that to a woman? I think it's. They're awesome.

I think it's perfectly fine.

I think it's great. A lot of women get off that way. A lot of women need finger stimulation. Or you could stick a vibrator in.

Front of and charge some tips. No areas like locations that you have been finger banged.

I try to come up with the different.

But you couldn't. We're both tired today. No, finger faster.

Way to say it.

But yeah, you just couldn't get there. So. Yeah, finger banging is what they call my question.

You blew.

Oh, what was the question?

How.

It's like locations where. When.

Oh, well, it's interesting. So lots of. It's different for every woman. I know, I know. I have a friend who loves being fingered. Like she just takes guys fingers and just shoves it up there and she's like, I want all of your fingers, not fists. But she's like, I want three Fingers. I want two fingers. Some women like one finger. You could put it in and out. You could do with the G spot thing where you're fingering her and you're also trying to reach her G spot, which is if you stick your finger inside of her and you use this come hither motion towards her with your fingers towards her belly button, that's where you can find G spot. Some women just want it really, really deep. So they want your fingers really deep. Some women like it shallow. The outer two thirds of vagina are really sensitive. So maybe you could just kind of spend some time in there. I think there's all different ways you can do it. You could just rub her clitoris, for example.

You still haven't answered my question. What are some incidents that you could.

Remember when I was. When a man's fingers were inside me? That was good.

Yeah, but like, just random locations. Not at your house, location.

Oh, wait, where have I been? Oh, and you're saying. You're saying, where did the act happen? Not, like, where was his figure?

Because. Because that. That can happen.

It's awesome. Oh, my God. It happens.

Because guys love doing it and they'll do it anywhere.

Do they love doing it? Yeah, I love when guys do it. That's so good to know. I've had guys do it in the car, in movies, in concerts, at a restaurant. I mean, yeah. In my lifetime. At a wedding.

Cool. In the back room, in the middle.

In the bathroom, at a dinner table. Sweet. That's awesome. It's so hot. Guys should do that more. If people like exhibitionism or having sex outside, that's a. Or sex in random, risky places. A fingering is something that you could get. You could do that. Not a lot of people could see airplanes. What do you mean?

Hand massages?

He called it a hand job performed on a woman, which I like.

Yeah, I'd never heard that before.

Yeah, I have kind of.

Really.

It is a hand job. And I don't think that, like, a lot of guys think that women like it as much. I think you have to ask for it.

A woman has to ask.

Yeah. Like, I think a lot of guys.

Some guys think that a guy tries, other than touching your boobs after making out.

He goes boobs. He goes to finger you. Yeah, but sometimes he doesn't do it right. It's different every woman. So you just got to show them. If you're a woman.

Show him what you like, take his fingers. I'm telling you, like, show him. Like, I want this finger. I want that Figure, I want three fingers. I want your pinky. Like, show him what you want. Because guys don't know a lot of times because every woman's different. So his last girlfriend liked his thumb and you want his three middle fingers. He doesn't know. How the hell is he supposed to know? Show him.

Don't you have like a guide or something like that you can share?

Ah. Do you want me to make another app?

Yes.

How many fingers do you stick inside of me? The hand job.

They should just make an app where you can just build out a profile of things that you like. This is me. And then you can just send it to somebody. See? Give you more ideas.

Here's a questionnaire of things that I like sexually. And then you're able to email it to the person that you're dating and then the conversation you never have to have again.

I know, but they do that on a lot of those, like, adult friend finder sites and stuff where you, like, are into fetishes or you're into different. You have different fetish.

I'm just talking about basic relationships.

Basically.

I like it when I know you go down on me after we did such and such.

I know. I wish that people would have these conversations. Why don't we create a form, put it on the website that you could just send to someone. They have all these forms now. Like, here's my STD test. You might as well be like, here's my STD test and here's what I like sexually. This is not a bad idea. Write that down. Hey, Emily. I love the show and I listen to it as a podcast on my Zune before I go to bed on most nights. I go to college in downtown Chicago and I'm 19.

Chicago.

Oh, love it.

Chi Town Downtown.

Okay, this is from a woman.

I have Dunkin Donuts and I thought about you every time.

You did?

I love Dunkin Donuts.

I tried to take a good picture, but there was so much glare.

Because that's so sweet that you thought of me.

I was gonna send it to you.

Okay, so she's 19. Let's see. She listens to it. In Chicago, sex is becoming a more common thing among young people than it used to be. And I only have a couple of friends who are virgins, which actually surprises me, as I expect pretty much everyone my age has had sex by now. I think it's also common that many girls of this age are not having orgasms when they have sex for various reasons. I definitely have this problem. I think female masturbation should be discussed because I'm not sure people my age always think it's an okay thing and they should be encouraged to try it. I just need some advice in these areas and I bet other people wouldn't mind some either. Thanks, Amanda. Amanda, you are preaching to the query. You are 100% right. This is what we talk about on the show all the time, that a woman is not going to likely not gonna have an orgasm at 19, 20 at an early young age if she has not masturbated. If she has not masturbated and figured out her own body and what makes her feel good. And I mean, not just one night you're gonna try. I mean spending several nights, several for months at home exploring your body. Like, take a bath. When you get in bed at night, you experiment with a vibrator. There's like a clitoral vibrator or a bigger vibrator that you can insert inside you and you can look for your G spot. You are not likely going to orgasm with a man until you do this. Women have got to do the masturbation work. I really think, I agree that there's not enough information out there on the female orgasm. I've often said this on the show, that I never even occurred to me to masturbate. Like, didn't even. And that's kind of messed up. We could analyze that for an hour, but we're not going to. Like, why wouldn't I ever think to touch my vagina? Like, there it is. And I'm not prude about sex. And my family talked about it all the time, but it just. I think I was busy. I just.

Busy.

I was just tired. I get in bed, I'm tired. I wasn't like touching my vagina anyway.

But there's so many objects you guys can use. It's not for me.

I know Pervertibles is what they call calm home things like a carrot don't do that. Get a vibrator, like, go on to AdamAndEve.com and you can get 50% off most items. And three adult free DVDs and a free gift. It doesn't say Adam and Eve so your parents won't know whatever it is when you're getting it. But I think you should just get like a basic vibrator. Get like a pocket rocket or.

No, you should go all or nothing. Just the biggest thing they have on their.

No, no, no, no, no. But I'm not sure how you orgasm. So, Amanda, I think that you need to tell your friends they need to masturbate. I think that it has to be discussed. And the common girl, that means she's so right that girls at her age are not having orgasms. But I, like, I thought something. Remember I thought, I think I said this on Friday, but I thought something was wrong with me. Or I said this recently, but that this guy that I dated, I actually want to call and apologize because I remember dating him for three years from 19 to 22, and I never had an orgasm. And I was one of those women who blamed him. Like in my mind, I was like, it's his fault. It's his fault he's bad and bad. But it was totally my fault because I didn't know what the hell. So I'm sorry, blankie.

She's 19.

Yeah.

Okay, when she's 21.

Throw in some tequila in the mix and you'll be good.

Great, Menace, thanks for that. Okay. Just love your little alcohol suggestions with everything. Okay. Hi, Emily. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a while now and everything is going well except for the sex part. Uh oh. He isn't very well large. He doesn't burn, he doesn't mind, and neither do I. But when we have sex, it's hard for me to have an orgasm with him. So I find myself going home and doing it myself. Oh, biggest nightmare for a man right now. I get really horny and he turns me on just fine, but my body just won't orgasm with him. He doesn't know about any of this and I don't plan to tell him. So I just pretend to orgasm. But I don't know what to do. Please help. Tips or anything will help.

Taylor, you know, I don't suggest this.

God, what menace.

I'm gonna throw it out there.

Sex drive.

Sex toy.

Were you really.

It hurts my heart to say, oh.

My God, I love. That's exactly what I was gonna say.

If he's not, well.

Oh my God. We are one mind now. Menace.

No, I not endorse. I'm not on here endorsing this. Throw in sex toys in the mix. But if. If it's gonna help the situation, then.

Yes, it will help. So most women, Taylor, need clitoral stimulation during sex so he could use his fingers. You could use your fingers. You could also use. I'm not sure how you orgasm, but a lot of women even can't have like a clitoral, A G spot orgasm without having clitoral orgasm. So there's great vibrators that you can use that are great for Sex, there's the little clitoral bullets and that might just get you there. Like you can hold it on your clitoris while he's going in and out of you, and that might make you have an orgasm. And just because he's a small penis doesn't mean he can't hit the G spot either, if you know where that is. Like, sometimes size doesn't have to matter. So I'm just wondering how well you know your body and. But it sounds like you go home and you finish yourself off and I bet he would find it so hot if however, you masturbate, like, why don't you just masturbate? Well, while he's. You're having sex with him, why don't you just touch yourself the whole time and bring yourself to cut? I don't think a guy would mind that. I think guys find that really hot. Don't you think when a girl masturbates?

No, I'm like, I'm happy that she's.

Helping, but even if she didn't use a vibrator, she could use her hands.

Yeah, yeah, no, I totally support that.

Okay, good. You wouldn't be like, if she was like.

I'm like, go do, make it happen. Do whatever you got.

I gotta go to bed.

Then it should also suggest, you know, the whole thing that I say, you know, throw maybe a Chanel bag at her, a couple hundred dollar bills and then.

Doesn't work.

She would get super horny and taken care of.

Huh.

It doesn't work.

I don't think so. Although, I mean, I'm open to anything.

I get 40% off coach now.

You do?

Yeah.

Why?

If you know somebody that needs a gift.

I don't know. I might. That's good to know. Good to know. You never throw bags at your girls, do you?

No.

No, but you're just hypothetically speaking, a.

Bag for a girl that I've dated for a long time.

Right. That was nice of you. I've had that too. Okay, we are going to move into cheating because cheating is a huge topic that comes up all the time. We see it in the news, we see it with politicians, we see with celebrities. We see marriages last not at lasting. We see nowhere going with this. What do you mean?

I know exactly where you're gonna. Your responses are gonna be to this. I know you so well.

You're already cutting me. I don't even know where I'm going with this.

I know.

And so without say, what are you gonna say?

Yeah, you're gonna say that no one is supposed to be with one person for the rest of their life.

I'm not saying that.

Blah, blah, we're not built like that. We're supposed to date other people and experience other things and blah, blah, blah.

I'd say that's what biology says.

I would say F marriage.

I'm not.

My name is Emily Morris Menace.

Do you know that I've never ever said f marriage. I've never said. In fact, when we were researching this.

You implied you and it.

I imply it. I agree that I imply it. But some say monogamy does not come naturally for humans, and biology predisposes us to seek multiple sex partners. Some say. I'm not saying that. Everyone says that there are happily married monogamous couples who don't do this. I'm just saying that for a lot of people, the theory is in biology that it is not natural. Okay.

I wish I could do this with lottery numbers.

Predict me. Okay, so we're gonna be talking about why do we cheat? Cheating stats. Reason why men cheat. Reason why women cheat. Signs that your partner's cheating. Confronting your possible cheating partner is cheating at a bachelor party. Okay. The healing process of cheating. And nine steps take after an affair. If we can get all to this today, but I don't know if we're gonna get to all of it. If we don't get to all of it, we'll do the rest of it tomorrow. Okay? So. Good stuff. Okay. So, yeah, it's true. Why do we cheat? Some say monogamy is not natural. I'm not saying. I'm saying that some say it's not natural. Animals are far from being 100% monogamous 100% of the time. The only completely monogamous animal scientists have been able to identify is a tapeworm found in the intestines of fish. The male and female worms fuse together at the abdomen and never separate afterwards. I thought there were birds that mate for life too, though.

Penguins.

Penguins. But apparently they don't because that was. Did you hear about the penguins? Penguins. It's. It's. It's what? They cheat. Penguins cheat.

Those bastards.

Okay. People who enter into long term monogamous relationships and really keep their promises tend to be very healthy mentally.

Yeah.

Endorsement.

See?

So you can be in a healthy monogamous relationship if you're very honest with your wide.

With your wide eyes and yelling into the microphone. I don't know if you're mentally stable. To have people.

It has nothing to do with my mental stability. My mental stability might Prevent me from other things. But it won't be that. People who cheat are called pursuers, also known as womanizers, when they are men pursuers. I know why we have men. It is. It basically is we're going to get into the stats. We're going into the stats. I'm just giving the names. Pursuers tend to require great numbers of conquests and they perceive them as conquest. Pursuers often have a narcissistic personality disorder. We're not saying all of them, just some. They crave and demand affectionate attention, but not able to return it in kind. It is true. There is a genre of cheaters who just constantly need more and more affirmation because they feel bad about themselves. And the more women or men they conquest, they feel better and their ego is boosted. And it can be kind of a narcissistic thing. So the cheating statistics. Some say that as many as 50% of women cheat on their husbands and 70% of men cheat on their wives. These studies have been coming out for years, but all I can tell you is that you never know exactly what it is. Maybe women are more likely to tell the truth or men inflate their numbers. But all I know is that I've been reading these stats for 10 years and that the numbers are getting closer and closer. Men and women are getting to be the same. It used to be like 25% of women and 50% men. According to a survey, the longer men live, the more likely they are to cheat. 37% of men ages 50 to 59 have had an affair, while only 7% of men, 18 to 29%, have cheated. You've never cheated, right?

No, I don't. My philosophy is you're going to cheat, you just break up the. You're obviously not happy with the person that you're with.

I agree.

And then you should just break up, right?

Here's some reasons why men cheat, okay? People always want to know if you're going through this. They're like, why, why, why did he cheat?

Because you're a high maintenance bitch, that's why.

Because they have the option. Men don't get offered sex as. Which is what you always say. Men don't get offered sex as often as women do. So when the opportunity does arise, it can be very difficult for them to turn it down. And if you're someone like Tiger woods or whoever who's like hundred, literally you could sleep with any woman that walks past you, what are you gonna do? They have the options.

You're married and you Have a kid. That's what you should do.

Whatever. It's. Boost their ego. I mean, I get what you're saying, but that's. Yes, he should have had the morals to say no. But women are literally like, bang, bang, bang, bang. Like, imagine like choo, choo, choo. Imagine like a. Imagine like a video game with women just, like, throwing himself at Tiger Woods. Like, I imagine at the bottom and there's women dropping from the sky. Like hot blondes and brunettes and things here.

See, that's the problem with guys. Guys are so effing stupid. Like, they bend over backwards for any hot chick. That's the problem with this world.

They shouldn't bend over backwards for hot chicks.

No, they shouldn't.

Okay, that's the problem. Here's another reason. It boosts their ego. Sometimes men don't feel like they're attractive to the opposite sex anymore. And when a woman shows some interest, not only does a man react, he may also allow her to stroke his ego more. That's true for men and women. I think a lot of times we just want the attention and it boosts our ego. Okay, Another reason men cheat. You grow apart. Maybe the two of you didn't have as much in common as you thought. He's met a woman who has more in common with him. He may check out if he's compatible with her under the sheets as well. I think that happens a lot. You're together with someone and you know, we don't ever marry someone who has. Who you can check all the boxes of your desires off. Like, I want someone who's this, this, this, and this. So let's say you're with someone. You're like, I love funny guys, but the man I marry isn't funny. And then like 10 years later, you're out and you meet this hilarious guy. This is. I've heard friends cheat this way. And they're like, but he's so funny. And my husband's not funny. And you're trying to make up for all the things that are lacking in your relationship with someone else. It's not the right way. This is not the right way to do it. But that's why people do it. You grow apart. You argue a lot. Men will sometimes cheat to get away from an overly critical or argumentative partner.

Number five, he's fallen out of love. This is why men cheat. Sometimes men become so comfortable in a relationship, they don't know how to get out. They say that women leave more than men and that men are just kind of like, uh huh in it, I'm gonna stay.

Or they just take off.

They cheat, but they don't leave. Okay, number six, your sex life sucks. If a man is a disinterested partner or isn't getting enough sex to fulfill him, there's a good chance he'll have an affair. True.

Yeah.

To get revenge, a man will sometimes cheat if he finds out his partner was cheating on him. Number eight. It's new, different and exciting. Men don't necessarily always cheat with women who are more attractive than their partners. They just want something different. I think that is like number one. I think that is so key to why men che. Which is different. We're going to get into why women cheat in a minute. But I think that men, they're able to compartmentalize being with different women. They want the variety. So like they could be with the hot. You know, like, find me a hot chick in the bar and I'll show you a guy who's tired of fucking her. You've heard that saying before. I think it's because men, and I don't even know it's more than women, but I think it's a little more than women that they can find. Like, it's not that this woman's hotter that they cheat on you with. It was just variety. It's variety. Variety, variety that men's minds typically just want more women, they just want the variety and women don't as much. So to me, I think that's huge. Okay, number nine. To see if they can get away with it. If a man has the attitude of what she doesn't know won't hurt her. He may cheat to see if he is sneaky and smart enough to get away with it. And number 10, because you've allowed it in the past, if you forgot, if you've forgiven a cheating man a couple times, the more likely he's gonna cheat again. And you're an idiot for staying in the relationship.

Hell yeah, you are.

Hell yes.

Why are you saying this now?

What do you mean?

Because all the times you said that I found out if somebody was cheating on me, I said I would dump them instantly. It doesn't.

Yeah, but a couple of times. I'm saying one time. You shouldn't dump her right away.

I'm done.

I understand. We knew you were gonna say that. Want me to say what you're gonna say? Cheats on me. Once I'm out of there, it doesn't even matter. She shouldn't be with me, with the relationship. She over she cheats once we're done. Yeah, yeah, done.

I'm not gonna deal with that.

Okay. Reasons why women cheat. Familiarity has bred indifferent. The most common justification for a woman's infidelity is that they feel taken for granted. So they feel like their husband's just not appreciating them. And there for them, you're leading parallel lives. Number two, why women cheat. You used to travel the same path side by side, but lately your interests have diverged. Number three. The passion has fizzled. A casual affair may put some zing back in her days. Your ego needs a boost. Sleeping with someone else is an easy way to remind yourself that you're desirable. I think that's huge for women, especially as women get older and they have kids and they're like, am I still desirable? And then they find a guy who finds them attractive. Like, women want to feel attractive all the time. And if their husband's not complimenting them ten times a day.

Oh, God. Ten times a day?

Yep. Five times a day. Once a day. Hey, baby. You look beautiful today. That's all you need. But if he never says it, and I can't tell you how many women are with guys who have never told them they were attractive and they found them attractive, and it is a problem with every single one of them. I joke that you should do it 10 times a day, but it's not really a joke. But once I said it, it's.

10 times is ridiculous.

10 times is a lot, but it's awesome. Okay. Number six. It's payback time. Same thing. If she finds out her significant other's been cheating, she may have sex with another man.

Okay.

And I think actually that's fine.

What? Revenge cheating?

If your person. The person that you're with is cheating and you're a dumbass and you're not dumping them right. Then I think it's.

Have you ever had a woman cheat on you? Not that you know of.

I know where I was getting out of a relationship. They started talking to somebody else.

Right? Right.

It was already right.

You know, and I've said this before, that I have cheated in my past.

Yeah.

And I'm a reformed cheater. I did cheat in my past. And. And I. It was never an ongoing thing, and I never had, like, great affairs, but I used to travel a lot for work. I was an international political consultant, and I would travel to a lot of different countries, and this is usually what happened. I'd, like, meet some businessman, and Singapore, in a hotel. Not proud. Had a boyfriend, so never Got caught. But, like, would stop doing that because I felt like I'm not gonna commit and have sex with other people. But I'm just telling you that I am. I've cheated and I'm not proud.

Hurts my feelings.

I don't do it anymore, though. I never would do it again because I don't think it's.

I mean, you don't travel as much.

And I don't commit as much. Okay, before you make a move on someone else, ask yourself this. Picture your partner doing the same thing and ask yourself, would it upset you if she was flirting with another guy at a bar? Would I be upset if he was dirty dancing in a nightclub with another girl? Would I think he was cheating? 74%. If guys think cheating starts with a kiss. That most women believe cheating can start before a kiss.

Oh, the emotional cheating.

There's the emotional cheating. The emotional affairs. Okay, here's some signs that your partner is cheating.

Okay.

Okay. What?

No, I want to hear them. What are the signs?

He or she says something to the effect of, I love you, but I'm not in love with you.

This is one of the most consistent things a cheating partner will. Cheating partner will say. Your partner may have a deep, loving bond with you, but intense feelings of passion can override the bond with you and cause your partner to lose sight of his or her true feelings.

You say that when you're.

People are trying to get up, trying to get a relationship with you or something. It's not really midway in the relationship, I guess so.

But if someone said that to me, I love you, I'm not in love with you, I'd be like, we're done. If I wanted to be loved by them. Okay, signs your partner's cheating. Number two, we are just friends. If your partner is spending more and more time with this new friend, then there's probably more to it than the mere friendship. If he has a new friend of the opposite sex and they're together all the time, that could be a sign that he's thinking of cheating or having an emotional affair.

You guys go crazy over that. The problem is I'm friends with more women than guys.

I know I'm friends with. Why? I got both. But you're right. I could see women. Yeah. You have dated women who go crazy.

Yes, I have.

Right. And you've, like, random women sending you, like, lingerie and birthday cakes and. Not that. When it's not.

Your birthday woman asked me out today. So what are you doing when you get off the radio? Oh, I'm going to bed. I'd rather go to bed.

Okay. Signs your partner's cheating. Number three. A sudden need for privacy. If things the two of you used to share openly suddenly become private. He puts a lock on his phone, for example. Pay attention because something is probably up. If you ask why or attempt to find out information that used to be common knowledge between the two of you, you will be accused of snooping or trying to control your partner. So if all of a sudden he's like locked down, like, has a lock on his briefcase, has a lock on his phone, like, changes his password, words, give me some cheating. Or she.

It's.

I don't mean he.

I know it seems weird, but even like in relationships, like I did, I'll get messages from people and I'll just delete them because they can be twisted around.

What do you mean? If you, if you're in, like, I'll.

Get a message like, oh, hey, what's up? You miss you right, Missy? And stuff like that. I'm like, delete. Because I don't.

Because why?

Because the person I'm with, like, oh.

If you have a girlfriend, I don't.

Want them to see that.

Exactly.

Different way.

Exactly.

I'm never gonna cheat on.

I mean, if anyone looked at my phone, like if I was dating them, they'd be like, what the fuck's going on?

So I just need to like hide my phone from everyone. Just keep it with me all the time. Yeah. Okay.

My phone needs to be buried in the desert somewhere for sure.

Oh my God. Okay. Signs your partner's cheating. Number four. I need some space to figure out my feelings.

Oh, God. You're done. Relationship is done, right?

Many women, men and women who are involved with someone else will request more space. Time alone away from the family. This can be a sign that there is someone else in the partner trying to figure out ways to have more freedom.

Yeah, I need space because I just.

Need a little bit of space up in Mendocino or something.

I have to have sex with somebody right now, so I'll be right back.

Okay. Regular work habits change. Working late, going to work at odd hours, putting in more time than is normal on work related issues can be indications that your partner is cheating.

I would always see that's.

But that's not true because you work all the time. It doesn't mean you're cheating.

I'll get in trouble for that all the time. Because. Because see the problem? The. The worst person in life for a woman is their best friend. Because their best friend Will is doom and gloom. Will, like, overanalyze everything. Oh, yeah, he's cheating on you.

Oh.

Where is he at? Blah, blah, blah, blah. Like in her ear. Destroying a relationship is the woman's best friend.

Right.

And the woman's best friend will also give you a blowjob.

What? The woman's. She might.

She would. Women are the devil. Didn't you know this? No, honey, they're not tricksters and cheaters is what they are.

It's nice, it's cool. But you gotta live. I love your misogynist side. When it comes out, it's hot. No, it's just the truth.

But you still gotta live with them anyway. So you just gotta deal with it.

Right?

That's all.

Exactly.

Nothing wrong with that. You don't have. You don't have to treat them like crap.

That's all. No treatment. Like respect.

Yeah, respect.

Gotta understand that they're crazy and they just want Gucci bags. Don't I?

Yeah. And if those bitches start cheating on you, then kick them to the curb.

You know, whatever. Who are you?

What?

Nothing. Who are you?

I'm just being real, speaking the truth. You can say a million things.

How's your relationship going? Oh, that's right. You don't have one.

Because I don't want to be in one. I could be in. I would love to be. Actually be in a relationship. I would love to be in love. I would love to do that. I'll be cool. I'll be happy.

I know. You were happy when you were in love.

Yeah, but just like right now.

Right, I get it.

I gotta find somebody that can just deal with.

Hang with you. Right. I get it.

And me too, dude.

It's hard. What'd you say? And what?

I go and shut the fuck up.

When I want them and shut the fuck up and have a friend give me a head. I'll admit, okay. Spending a large amount of time on the computer. In today's world, with modern technology, a person looking for an affair doesn't have to leave their home. If your partner's online more than usual, hang out in chat rooms and visiting pornographic websites, you can be alarmed. I don't know about that. Everyone's on porn.

The Facebook.

Facebook is secretive. Phone calls and more time spent on the phone. Obviously. If you see them sneaking away and they're on the phone, that's a problem behavior that just doesn't add up. Not being where he's supposed to be, missing times they can't explain. Being caught in little lies or the Details of the day. They could be cheating. Okay, here's how you confront. We don't really have time. I don't think.

Kate, you got a few minutes.

We got a few minutes. We got a few minutes.

Two minutes.

Okay. Confronting your possible cheating. Possibly cheating partner. This is how you confront them.

They're never gonna cop to it.

Oh, my God. We've got so much hair. Okay. I love all this. We have to continue this another day. For sure.

80% of them won't cop to it, but go ahead.

I agree. They always say no at first.

Yeah.

If you do decide to confront your spouse, you need to do in a place that will provide you the most safety and comfort. Don't surround you with friends. That would definitely change the power dynamic. Your partner could be exceptionally angry at the accusation, especially if the accusation was true. Have proof. If you decide to confront your spouse about his or her infidelity. Have proof. An accusation without proof is only accusation based on a feeling. So, like lipstick on the collar. Text messages that he could probably erased. I don't know. How do you have proof? Whatever.

Whatever your proof is, it's pretty easy to prove.

I know. I've had some good proof. Okay. I caught a guy once, and it was so easy because he wrote it down. He wrote a story about it. Okay. Idiot. Have support. When and if you decide to confront your partner, realize that it may be the end of your relationship. It's possible that your spouse will beg for forgiveness. They always do. It is possible that your partner will look you in the eyes, admit that he or she has had an affair, and initiate the breakup. Whatever the case, you should have emotional support at hand. That's what you should do. Forms of cheating according to women. Let me just read a few of these. Okay?

Okay.

Confiding in other women. 36% of women think it's cheating. So if you've got a BFF and you're like, oh, yeah, today Marcy and I were, dah, dah, dah, dah. She's gonna think you're cheating.

Whoa. Dancing closely. Dirty dancing with another woman is like a form of sex. 41% think that's cheating.

What?

I bump and grind with people. That doesn't mean that I'm cheating.

What the hell?

Everything you would say would be, I'm not cheating.

I'm not. Okay. Getting private dances at chip joints. 79% of women think it's cheating.

What? Yep.

Crazy masturbating people think engaging in cyber sex. 80% of women think it's cheating. Engaging any sort of sexual contact. If you chris, caress, if you kiss, caress or go down. 100% of women think that's cheating. Okay, one more thing is. Oh God, I think we gotta do this later because I want to talk about is cheating. Okay. At a bachelor party tomorrow. Tomorrow. Okay, everyone, thanks so much for listening. Let me tell you about our guest tomorrow. Guest is Billy Sunday Mars, author of Fit for Love. It's about understanding your body and physical exercises to enhance your performance in bed. Oh, love it. Okay everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackswithemily.com there's one overlooked mineral behind better sleep.

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