Episode 279 - Creepy Men 1

Stop what you're doing and listen closely because Bellesa and I are giving away free spicy toys or gift cards to every single one of you. That's right, everyone who signs up wins something. And if you haven't heard of Bellesa, let me put you on. They're a bi woman for everyone company that's completely flipping the script on sexual wellness. And now they're hooking you up. You've definitely seen Bellesa's viral toys all over your for you page. Like the rose, it blew up for a reason. This little flower shaped suction toy is iconic.

Or.

Or their famous whisper collection. You know, the first fully ever silent vibrators. If you live with roommates, parents, or even if your partner is sleeping right next to you, these toys are silent without compromising power. Or their new Pebble Pro. They just one up their best selling pebble with a stronger, smarter and seriously spicy redesign. Ballast has somehow figured out how to engineer a one stop pleasure shop with three interchangeable heads. It sucks. It humps. It licks. It vibrates. I'm speechless. And of course I had to hook.

All of you up.

So my friends at Bellesa are sending out free toys or gift cards for toys to everyone who signs up. You heard that, right. Every single one of you wins something. Just click the link in the episode description or head to bbvibes.com Emily that's B B V I B E S.com Emily.

Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex.

Eyes that block sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes they call them in a bygone day.

Hey Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cuz my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's got to have her standards.

Oh my.

The women know about shrinkage.

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks.

Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me?

Oh my God. I feel so good.

Being bad feels pretty good. But you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships and everything in between. For more information about Sex with Emily, go to sexwithemily.com where you get all your sex information that you'd ever need or want at sex with only.com. thanks for everyone for becoming Friends with Benefits members. We love you, we appreciate you and it changes our lives. And I hope it changes yours too. So yeah, today is going to be a fun show because Menace Is here. What's up, Menace?

Hi. How you doing?

Sorry, we're talking a little late today.

Oh, man. I'm kind of mad at myself with that one.

Why? Oh, because you sound like something. We had some technical difficulties. Yeah.

The camera wasn't being read by the program and all that stuff, and I haven't used that program in quite a long time, and I figured it out.

You know what I think about you? Minus that's so hot. Is that. Can I tell you something? Like, that's really hot. Even though I know you don't need compliments like I do, I think it's really hot that you know how to work all this stuff that you know that. I believe that you could walk into any technical difficulty in any room and you could figure it out.

I probably could. But I think you're the one in the million that actually thinks that's hot.

I think it's super hot.

Feedback seeks sex with only.com when a.

Guy can come over and be like.

Like technical stuff, though, like, not hot. Technical stuff is hot hot. I thought you like housework and, like, building shit.

That tattoo, it's all hot. But a guy with technical stuff is hot. Hey, if you want to call us, you can call us at 415-992-7392 right now. Right? Madness. We can launch Skype.

It is. Yeah. Somebody already hit us up and asked you if we're doing the show.

And then, yeah, sorry, we had little problems, but we're here. We're so psyched. And today we'll be talking about what makes a guy creepy. Let's hope that you don't do any of these things. But you know what? If you do some of these things, then you'll know not to and you won't be a creep anymore. Tomorrow's show is free Friday. Free Friday. And we'll be talking about seduction. And we've got an intern sex toy Review sponsored by AdamandEve.com where you can go buy all your sex toys and use coupon code Emily at checkout for free discounts and free toys. Also. We are so excited. We are. Sex with Emily has been voted as one of the top five podcasts and we in San Francisco, and we want to be number one. So all you have to do is go to sfweekly.com and click on the link that says the weekly says poll at the top. Right. Doesn't say poll or contest. It's a banner at the top that says contest. And then we're number 20, item 20. Click on us. So we win because we are the best podcast.

Or check your tweets and Facebook.

Check my Twitter and Facebook Sex with Emily. And I'm posting it all over the place there.

Yeah. And it's on mine, too. White Menace. Just look at the link. It's item 20 on there.

Item 20.

Scroll down to item 20.

It takes you two seconds. And then we win because we are the best podcast in San Francisco. So. So it just seems obvious, doesn't it, Menace?

Yes, it does.

So obvious. So, yeah, Today show, creepy, creepy guys. And then also creepers. Creepers.

That's what they call them.

Creepers. And then also because guys can do creepy things and they don't know it.

Yeah, believe me, I hate creepers.

Hate creepers. I know.

So we're gonna talk about speaking about creepers. How's the random guys rubbing your vagina all weekend getting going?

It starts tomorrow. It's women, actually, I think it's a woman and a man. And it was creepers. Creepers. People rubbing my clitoris. For three days, I'm doing oming. It's called One Taste San Francisco with Nicole de Don. I'm going on some special retreat where I'm. It's called Orgasmic Meditation. And I'm going to learn more about my clitoris, which I feel like I know it pretty well. We're pretty tight. But we're going to learn more. And I'm going to be have my clitoris massage 24 7. But I also have a big party to go to Friday night after my clitoris massage. So I wonder, because they say if you do this kind of meditation a lot, this orgasmic meditation that you kind of walk around in a state of orgasmic bliss. So I wonder if I'll show up, like, orgasmic blissed out at the party.

It's going to be a really fun party. I wish you were there.

Imagine if you're that and then you add the wine in there. You're just going to be so out of it.

I know.

You're just gonna be in this.

Awesome. I've been drinking a lot more wine lately.

Oh, that's so.

You know that. And I really like wine, so. Okay. Also, if you want three months free of sex with Emily, all you have to do is like us. On the Sex with Emily Facebook page, every day, one person is randomly selected to win three months of sex Family. If you're already a fan, you're still eligible. And what else? Mendez, didn't we change something there?

We're still working on it. We're still working, but we're gonna make it. So eventually, hopefully everyone that likes us will get.

Everyone who likes us is eventually my. Whatever. We don't know what but do that. And then you also get 30 minutes free. If you're already a member of Fire TV, just go to Fire TV. You have to register and put in your credit card. They will not charge you. Then you launch the chat window and tell them that you were sex family and you'll get 30 minutes free of like all the porn that you ever wanted in your life. Every topic, every single scenario played out there. It's like the Netflix of porn. You can scroll and whatever your fancy. Whatever your fetish.

And then, oh, going back to the. The voting thing real quick. Hopefully by tomorrow we'll give you a domain that will send you directly there.

Yeah, that'd be awesome.

Yeah, I'm gonna make that.

See, that's hot. That's hot too.

That's hot.

But that kind of falls in the same realm.

It doesn't get me blow up web savvy all the time.

It doesn't give you blowjobs. No. You should get blowjobs all the time for all the web savvy stuff you do.

I know, right? Can you please put a bulletin out, a tweet?

Do you want me to create a special website for people to line up to give you blowjobs for all the stuff that you do?

Give Menace a blowjob dot com.

Give Menace. I love it. I'll do that. Okay, that sounds like perfect idea.

See if that works.

How you doing? Menace rolled in with a suitcase.

I know.

He's going to la.

I'm going to Los Angeles.

Are you gonna.

Your favorite place ever.

It's not my favorite place ever, but. Are you excited?

Yeah, I'm excited. I'm gonna go.

I know. You're working the whole time.

No, I'm gonna have a couple days where I get to hang out. Cool. So yeah, that's rarely. I don't even know what to do with myself. But I have a bunch of radio friends that I'm gonna go see.

Of course you are. Any chicks down there? Any chicks to keep in la?

I have quite a few lady friends and then out there. And I always say the best ladies in LA are the ones from the bay.

That's true. Best ladies in the Bay Area.

And then those are the only ones I know and hang out with when I'm down there.

Right.

I honestly, I know five awesome women.

We're just, we're just chill. Like I'M not. I love la. Whatever. But Bay Area chicks are just a good. We're good breed. Even though I'm from Michigan, I feel like I have won my Bay Area chick card. Right? Yeah. And I'm going on orgasmic meditation retreat. If that doesn't make me.

That gives you your wacky San Francisco Union card.

I've been here too long and I need to move back or something. I don't know.

This city is so wacky, it's ridiculous.

It is a wacky city. Read it. That's how we love it, right? I. Okay.

It's not why I love it.

Why do you love it?

I love it for the beautiful scenery, architecture and the sites and my job and all that stuff.

Right.

And I don't like the wackiness. The wackiness keeps me from having a garbage can outside my house.

Why? Because people go through your garbage can?

No, it's because they believe in this extreme recycling low. I will recycle.

Extreme recycling.

But it's like, extreme.

Yeah. We compost and we get, like, tickets.

Yeah. And I can't get a plastic bag, even though the plastic bag don't. I put the plastic bag in the recycling and then they take care of it, right?

Yeah.

But now, I mean, now I can't.

Get one right now I can't get.

One when I go to the grocery store, so. And I don't drive now. So when it. It is bad weather and I'm walking with paper bags, they rip. They don't F yourself. I know the assholes that what town.

Outlaws we had on our ballot in the last year. Or not only on our ballot, but, like, on our voting ballot. But also the Board of Supervisors, which is our electoral body here, they banned. They did ban plastic bags. So, like, you literally can't get plastic bags. Like, it kind of sucks. Like, they're kind of like a commodity. Like, oh, my God, there's that plastic bag that I got in San Jose. I better bring that back to San Francisco and use it for recycling. Because you can't do it. Then you have to compost. Does everyone know what composting is? Like, all your food, your eggshells and your peels. I don't do that. I'm sorry. I will not compost. Because it makes everything messy and buggy and in your house. And then you got to always bring it down. You got to bring it downstairs. The thing I don't compost. They give you those little. Everyone a compost thing. Did you get one of those? I got rid of It. Well, not compost. And I don't even like recycling. I'm going to say it right here. I recycle, but I hate it. I hate the whole thing. I know it's good for the environment, but I'm sorry, but it's a pain. It just is. So then. So not only do we outlaw plastic bags, you have to, like, recycle everything that they expect you to have. No, garbage. Your garbage should be like this big Happy Meals. We outlawed Happy Meals and they want to outlaw circumcision.

Yes.

This is the town that we live in.

That's how wacky it is. I can't. I can't stand that part of it. I know, but I really can't live in too many other areas of the country.

Me neither.

Well, I think I could live in New York, but that's gonna be another time, I think.

Yeah.

So, yeah, we've got some email. Let me just talk about the email topics today. Not going out with your partner. How to make a girl squirt. That's a common question. We have early ejaculation and how to touch breasts. Don't you love that? We can just say squirt and swear. It's so awesome. And so, yeah, my week has been good. It feels like it's already Friday, but it's Thursday. But I've gone on some dates and I'm not seeing that guy anymore that I've been seeing.

What?

Not the guy that was gone, but the guy. Not the guy that was gone because the guy that I was seeing openly.

Because the guy that I was been seeing who was out of town wants to commit.

You're not listening to me.

This is major.

I know. That always happens. And then what? Then what you say?

I don't know what to do.

I was like. I'm sort of challenged in that way. I don't know how I feel about monogamy, blah, blah, blah. But I really like them. So I'm sort of going through this process right now of figuring out what to do because I started thinking about my future.

So. Okay. So that was your response or what? How did. How did it all go down?

It all goes down.

That's why I like breaking. I don't want to, like, blow over everything. Like, just tell me.

I wasn't even gonna bring this up. This always happens.

I am listening. Sorry. Have crazy working.

I understand. So this is the deal. We don't have to get. I'm getting into it more later. I'm gonna get into more later.

Come on.

I'm gonna get into more later because it's still very fresh. And it is not. It's inconclusive. It's like yesterday. It's inconclusive.

I need inconclusive because you didn't really answer it.

Because I did.

I did a reality. I did a show, a TV show, a pilot called Chasing Emily, which you can see on my website and the about page, you could find it on Vimeo. It's called Chasing Emily. It's a really cool TV pilot that I did a few years ago. And on it, I go on these dates with people and they're like fake dates. But there's gonna be some other scenarios in my life where I'm gonna do stuff like that too. Filming stuff. And then he was like, I wouldn't. Don't know if I'd be cool with you going on real dates, but fake dates are cool. So then we had the conversation about commitment and all that stuff. And he was thinking that he wanted to be with me exclusively. Mm.

And Emily Morris ain't down with that.

And I had a heart attack. I was like, don't you listen to my show? I should give him a login to my show or something. And then he could listen to it. And then I said, we'll start. Still keep talking. But I really like him and think that I really do. I think he's awesome. So I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to do about that situation.

Like, hey, this is not how I get down. And then see what his. What was his initial reaction?

He's like, I'm a monogamous. I like monogamy. And I feel like I'm a non monogamous. I feel like I've been non monogamous for a few years now and that I haven't quite decided yet if that's my lifestyle choice for the rest of my life. I'm still trying to figure out what I want. And so. And this is a guy that I'm totally down with. He's freaking awesome. So I kind of ended it with the other guy, which was always very open anyway. And he didn't care. He actually told me I should be with this guy. And we'll work it out. We'll see what happens. So I'll keep you all updated. We're still in talks.

All right, I'm gonna see how that goes.

I mean, if you want a guy, I've got a. Like now, like this dude.

Yeah.

I mean, every day, like, there's a lot of commitment going on for a.

Girl who don't commit. I just. I just see it not going well because he's gonna be like. He's gonna. He's gonna say, okay, then we'll just do this. And then that's what he said. Yeah. He's gonna go off and do something, and then he's gonna do. What do I do?

Here's a guy that I really like. So he's like, here's a guy I really like, and he's like, if we don't do this, then it's gonna end. What's the point? So I tabled it. I've already taught you.

That's smart.

Thank you.

Whatev.

Whatev.

You can see if he can talk you into it. Is that what's gonna happen?

I don't know. No. No. I don't know.

You know your answer.

I'm doing a lot of thinking. No, I don't, though, know my answer, because I have to just try to figure out what I want with my life. Do I want kids? I mean, it's hard to be in an open relationship and have kids. Mm. Do I want a normal relationship? I've had that before, sort of in the past, but not lately. Like, I made a. I made a concerted effort the last three, four, or five. Three years not to commit. So now it's like, maybe I could try it again with my own rules, with my own way, with our own rules that we create. We haven't talked about it yet. Like, we haven't been together that long that this has come up, but it came up sort of in a weird, awkward, backdoor way. So now I need to keep talking.

Backdoor way.

I like that backdoor way. Not like backdoor sex.

Not like backdoor sex.

It's kind of different.

Oh, man.

What do you think? I think I'm not capable, but I.

Think, no, I don't think you're capable. I don't think that you're not capable. That is incorrect. I believe that it's just something that.

You don't want, and I'm exploring that.

I think I might want to one with forever one day.

If you don't want it right now, like, why are you gonna just go through the whole hassle to say, this is. This is what it is? Yeah, see, that's the. That's why you always give me crap. You're like, oh, you're too harsh. I just don't want to waste my time. That's it. This is how I feel. Let's not go into the whole conversation.

Talk about Our feelings.

I'm just going to waste hours upon hours and I don't want to be with you right now. Man up. You want to keep on having sex with me?

Cool.

If not, then, you know. Two fingers. It's called deuces. Peace out.

Monday.

I think you're really swell guy.

Monday we're gonna. I will. To be continued. Like, I wasn't even really ready to deliver this information, but something about seeing you Menace, and looking at your eyes just makes me want to spill all my truth.

As you should.

I know. And you smell really good today.

Look really good. It's Chanel Platinum.

It's good. I like it.

Tell your fellow friends.

Tell my fellow guys. Some guys can't. That could be creepy too. We're talking about things that make eyes creepy today. Too much cologne? Yeah, creepy. But you're good. You measure it out well, you know, like whatever you do, your little is good.

It's really strong in the morning, which I feel bad for my assistant because she picks me up every morning now and it's just like at 4:30 in the morning and you know, I put it on right before I get in her car. So I'm probably just.

Bathing in it by then. Well, for now it's good by one o' clock it's toned down a little bit.

Yeah. Okay. Well, I hope you come back with lots of stories from la.

Yeah, I got invited to some video music award parties. The email I was reading, I was still paying attention to. I just got some.

I was pouring out my heart and Menace was like on the phone.

I just got some tickets to the actual event. I was just doing.

For sure.

If you were going.

Well, no, I was going for sure, but I was just doing red carpet coverage where I talked to all the stars.

But now you're going to be sitting in the actual.

The audience. Yeah.

That's cool.

Who's hosting it there?

Bunch of hosts, right?

Yeah. They're not having a host this year.

Video Music Awards.

Yeah. Which I think they're lying.

When are they on? Sunday.

It's on Sunday. Yeah.

I'm gonna watch. I'm gonna look for you.

Look for me.

Look for Menace.

I'll be there.

Okay, cool. Maybe you hook up with someone hot, some celebrity or something. That'd be great. Scandal.

Cool.

Totally.

Maybe. Okay.

Some D list actor.

Okay. We've got some sex in the news we can kind of get into.

Do you know me? Before you start, do you have the one about the Bart spokesman?

No.

All right, let me tell you this story. This Story. This story is hilarious. Okay? So there's this.

There's this major hacking group who's like. They're like super hackers, right? They're named Anonymous. Anonymous, sorry. And we love them because we don't want them to hack our website.

Okay.

All right. Because they would totally, like, destroy it in five seconds.

Oh, my God.

So they're super hackers. So they go. They're like evangelists and stuff like that. So they don't like all the stuff that's been going down with BART here in San Francisco. BART is train, and BART is our.

Public transit area, Rapid transit.

There's been problems. There's been shootings with BART employees with the general public. And I'm not gonna get into all that because we can talk about that for hours. And then there's been some other things I haven't really read into where they. They blocked cell phone service in some of the parts of bart, so you can't make an outgoing call because there's been some protests against this BART system. And so they thought by doing that, people can't organize and do it. And that just pissed off people even more. So Anonymous got into it. Now.

They hacked the BART website. They did all this crazy stuff on there, and now there's a spokesperson for BART who was the one that was claiming responsibility for blocking the cell ph. They, like, hacked some of his things, and they found all these nude photos of him. He's a gay man. He's openly gay, okay? So they're not the spokesman, okay? So it's not like they're outing him or anything like that. But there's these. There's these photos of him up in the gay clubs, like, showing off his dick, like, pulling down his pants and showing off.

Okay?

So they took these photos and they put them online, and they're like, look, we're not gonna stop doing this type of stuff unless you guys.

Fix the BART train.

Do these list of demands, which is. Some of the list of demands are not actually crazy.

Right.

Ideas for them to do. But one of them is like, they want the cops to be disarmed and not have guns and stuff, okay? So I don't know if they're gonna get to that point. But some of the other stuff is not pictures.

It's probably Bay Area.

Oh, it's all over. It's all over the Internet right now.

He's a spokesman. And his pictures of his pee whipping out his penis. People stop taking pictures of your genitalia.

This is like in a nightclub.

People drunk. So like, so what happens, Tommy? People get really drunk and they're like, you know what? It's a great time to take a picture of my dick. Yeah. I don't. I don't get why people. With all the stories and all the sex tapes and all the things that go on, why people think it's a good idea to take pictures of yourself and save it and send it.

So make sure you guys link that on the website sexyoma.com.

I mean, maybe guys think it's hot, but I don't want to see pictures of men's penises. I'd rather like. I like it. Like, I get women's bodies. Like, that's hot. But just men's random genitalia. Not hot. Yeah, we gotta look it up.

There's also leaked in the same day, leaked nude photos of Kanye X's ex girlfriend, who's currently.

Ex girlfriend.

Ex girlfriend. Her name's Amber Rose. And of course, Amber.

Stripper name.

Yeah, she was a stripper and bisexual. And she was dating a woman before Kanye.

Okay.

Now she's engaged to another famous rapper. His name is Wiz Khalifa, who's from Pittsburgh, California, who is very famous. He has a song called Black and Yellow, which you probably heard on the radio or somewhere online. And these photos leaked of her just at the same day of the bar thing was going on. So you can find those online. Also, we'll probably link them at sexfelmily.

Pictures of her with a woman.

No, it is her naked. Oh, she's on bed. Yeah, she's. She's a hot woman.

They leaked. Or did she leak them?

No, she. They're leaked. I don't believe that. People leak their own photos. Their own photos. People say that all the time. I do not believe.

When you're scared. I'm just trying to think if I ever take. I don't think I've ever taken a nude photo yet. Yeah, I never will. No.

I'm gonna dig into your hard drive.

Uh, I don't think so. But anyway, it's crazy. Like, if you don't want, just don't do it. Why. Why do people. I don't get it. Like, what's the. I get making sex tapes and all that. Like, you guys watch it, but just like, delete it with your boyfriend. Like, after. Like, just be careful.

What's the point of deleting it right after? There's no point of doing it.

Well, you have your whole sex library.

I have a library. I'll show you the box set.

I want to come over and watch.

I'm trying to convert it to Blu Ray.

Oh, hilarious.

Hopefully it'll be on Netflix soon. Or Fire tv.

Exactly.

Okay, so no, thank you for your addition to Sex in the News today.

Yes. So please link that on sexhoundly.com.

Yes.

Amber Rose and Bart spokesman.

Absolutely. We will link that. Because, you know, you can get all these stories and everything we're talking about@sexhomely.com.

Which is one more thing.

Oh, my God.

Sorry.

What? I love it.

Steve Jobs stepped down.

Steve News. Talk about that.

I'm sure you've all heard it. We don't have to go into that. But the guy that is taking over for him, who was his coo, is apparently, this is just what has been out on the Internet. Apparently, he is a gay man also. And now they're calling him the most powerful gay man in the world.

Yeah.

But now that they were saying that all over the place, all over the news yesterday, and now they say that he is not openly gay. So now should. They're saying, should he come out as openly gay?

So he's gay, but not openly gay?

Yeah. He hasn't publicly said that I'm gay.

Right. Well, now he has to, doesn't he?

Does he have to? Why?

Well, everyone knows he's gay, so what does he mean? He has to, like, parade around in, like, chaps or something and show up at the Folsom Street Fair, but march in the gay pride parade? But he's gay, too.

He should show his wiener in the club.

He should show his wiener in the club. He should take nude photos. I think that's awesome. He should be like, yeah, I'm gay, but has nothing to do with the business that we're doing and selling, you know?

Yeah, no, no. No one's obviously in this area. No one is looking, but we're looking.

At the rest of the world. We live in a little bubble here where we're, like, gay, whatevs. Like, bisexual, transgender.

We don't care.

We don't care. We're, like, good for you. In fact, I wish I was. Sometimes I wish I was gay, maybe. You know, whatever. Like, it helps with things. But I could see that that would be a problem if he was, like, never outed before. Like, maybe people in the company didn't even know that he was gay. Right. Did they all know?

Obviously, I didn't really look too into it, but my friend already thinks that he's hot and he's going to try to hunt him down to get with him.

Really?

Yeah.

Is he younger.

But he's not too.

I saw it a little bit on the news. Okay. Okay. So. Okay. Sex. The news that I've got is Will Smith and Jada Pinkett are denying divorce and the Marc Anthony affair. They're going away. They're taking a family vacation, and they're saying they need to, like, move away and they need to just get away from it all. But they're saying that although we're reluctant to. We're reluctant to respond to these types of press reports, the rumors circulating about our relationship are completely false. We are still together. Our marriage is intact. The statement read, so don't know. They said she had an affair with Marc Anthony. They were doing a show together. What do you think? I don't know. I believe that a lot of these stories are some truth to it.

Something had to be going on. They had to give.

It to something.

They're in a big fight. Somebody probably overheard it and then say, oh, they're getting a divorce. I.

Don'T know.

They're always talking about how great their sex life is and how amazing their marriage is. And that would just be a bummer if she had an affair, but I can't imagine it.

Well, women are scandalous, so I wouldn't put it past her.

Yeah, but, but they just. But the thing that sticks out about it is. Yeah, every day there's another celebrity couple getting divorced. The thing that's so remarkable about this is that they're always talking about how happy they are. And every interview, like, we're so happy, we're together forever, blah, blah, blah. There's like a list of all these quotes. And then they have another fair. So I guess. To be continued.

Yeah.

Okay, so this. We had a lot of fun with this today. So college girls PowerPoint quote fuck list goes viral.

What?

So there was this chicken college at Duke, and this was not for class, but she put together a PowerPoint presentation of 13 guys that she slept with. And she broke it down and she scored them all by, like, physical, physical, physical traits. Size, creativity, athletic ability, sense of humor, entertainment. So complete with penis size evaluations and dirty talk transcripts of 13 male students. So she, like, had all their sexting, all the sex. They would do all, everything they would say to her, like, by minute by minute. She was doing it for her own, just for herself. And it's like, for a kick. For kicks. We're gonna have it on our website. We'll have a link to it. She just sent it to two friends just to look at. Like, she did it on her.

Oh, whatever.

And no, she did. Really. And it got, became super viral and now everyone's seen it and they've like blacked out. They've like put bars over the guys faces. But she broke it down. Like literally. Like each one is like a little mini, like a little mini dissertation on each guy. Like, could you imagine like size of their penis, their physical talent, how much they entertained her? Like, were they entertaining in bed? How, how. How good they were in bed. And like she broke down like every move that they did. Athletic ability, how aggressive they were in a good way. Like, were they alpha males? Were they not alpha males? How embarrassing. She's like mortified. Like, apparently she went into hiding after this. She really did just sentence two friends. So she never, she says she never intended it. I mean she's. She. I don't think she would. She just graduated from college. She says she regrets it. With all my heart. I would never intentionally hurt the people that were mentioned in it.

Well, first off, 13 guys would whore. Second, I knew you didn't say that, dumbass. For saying it to your friends. And you've sent it to women. Of course they're gonna sell you out. Like what I say all the time. The. The worst friend is a woman's best friend. And then do you see that all the time?

My best friends are my BFFs forever.

Like they want to sell you out in a.

They would never sell me out. Not the real girls, not the real.

Chicks, not the real chicks, not my sister.

No. I've got friends I've had for forever.

Women are the worst. But see, thing is, if they're jealous.

Of you, you can't have friends that are jealous of you or threatened by you. Which I've learned because there's the ones that are. They just want to ruin you. And everything you do, they want to copy or they want to tear you down. Those aren't. You're really friends.

That's most of them.

So I think this is really interesting.

Then another thing is.

The only guy that's not embarrassed by that is the guy that got the highest score.

Exactly. He's like, take off the bar. That's my face. Exactly. But the ones who weren't. But I think it's good. But it got me thinking. Like, to be honest, this is probably some good information for these guys.

Like, yeah, but what about if you're the guy that got the lowest score?

I bet I could sleep with a guy that I slept with in college and he'd probably be exactly the Same men don't change that much. You gotta teach them things, they gotta learn things. And if he finds out, maybe he thinks he's great in bed and she totally slammed him. Maybe he could learn something from this. I think this is a useful experiment for these men. And it got me thinking, how great would it be? And I think we were talking about this either on the show or in my. Somewhere else in my life. But that.

For example, if you go on a date with someone and you don't call back or you reject them after the date, like, wouldn't it be nice to get information about why the guy didn't call? Like, that's what we were talking about on the show. If you. Weeks ago. Like, why? Why he doesn't call? Wouldn't it be nice to know, like, why a guy didn't call you back? The truth, like, kind of be like, what did I do? I thought our day was great. We were making out, things were good, we were up all night, and you didn't call me. Why? Like, I actually think that information is useful. Don't you want to know?

I'd be open to share that type of information, but the only thing is women can't.

In a nice way.

Women can't let things go. Remember, I haven't brought this up in a long time, but women have these hard drives that they can pull up information that they told you at any given time, and then they'll use it against you.

True, but what I'm saying is, it's like, this is the date that you went out on that was amazing. But he didn't call, or she didn't call you back, she blew you off, you thought it was great. And if I said to you, you know what? I hated the way you talked to the waitress. You kissed me like you were trying to suck my face down your throat. And you were, you know, you split the bill with me. And I think on the first date, you should have paid whatever it is, whatever the comments were. And then you kind of know, like, then you just are like, oh, that's interesting, because I'm gonna be dating for the next 20, 30, 40, 50 years, and there's just some little tweaks. Not everyone wants to know and look at themselves. And I'm not even saying that person is right if they're giving you criticism, but interesting to get that feedback. I would have been psyched to get some feedback earlier on, although I.

Perfect.

So they would have been at a loss.

I just don't feel like paying attention to you.

I'm just a little. Damn it. I'm a little distracted. I'm a little distracted. I'm a little busy. That's. That's the complaints that I get. But. Okay. Researchers announce confirmation that bisexuality is real.

If you thought it was not real. A new study looks at how physically aroused subject subjects became when viewing sexually explicit material as well as asking the subjects to report on whether or not they experience sexual. Sexual expectation as seeing intimate things involving males and females. So basically, they did a study and they measured how excited and turned on people were, and if they're bisexual, they got turned on by both images. So. So they. You know, people still doubt that bisexuality is real. So we have to keep doing studies to prove that it is real.

There is a television show coming out about the Playboy Bunnies. Like, the early years, there was the Playboy Mansion in Chicago where Playboy originated. And then they would have all the Playboy bunnies. They would hang out and like all the business people, they would own memberships and go there. And the lead actress is bisexual. She's openly bisexual. She's like, I just love whoever, you know, and she's super hot.

It's a new show.

It's a new show that's coming out.

Okay.

I don't know if it's called the Mansion or something like that, but it's about the early years of Playboy and about these women who worked at the house.

Early years.

So she's an older woman who was an early.

No.

Okay.

It's set in that time, so it's all super.

I assume everything's a reality show.

No, no, no. It's. Yeah, it's all these hot women and just like about, you know, the businessmen that used to visit the.

Oh, I love it.

Yeah. It's like Blondie used to work there, but she wasn't blonde. She had black hair.

She had black hair. Right. Okay, that's cool. Didn't know it. Haven't heard of it. Okay, let's move into some emails because that's all the sex and the news that I got for you today.

All right. I love hearing from the people.

These are what the peeps got to say. Emily, Menace, I love the show. Thanks for taking your time to create it for us. Isn't that a sweet compliment?

Yeah.

You both always seem to have great advice. I'm hoping that you can help me here. I can't get my boyfriend to go out with me. We are both busy adults. He is super stressed with work. I'm trying to be understanding, but I want to do more than just text with him. I'm sick of not seeing him when he lives less than an hour away. What can I do to explain how not seeing him is affecting me? I really like him and want to work this through instead of breaking up. Any advice would be great. Thank you. Thank you. Signed Emily. Another Emily. She's from Seattle and she's a premium friends with benefits member. So just as you know. So you know, if you're a friends with benefits member, we answer your emails first. So. Okay, Emily, sounds like you guys. I mean, there's more going on here. You're committed to this guy and he doesn't want to see you. Like, what kind of relationship is that? I agree. I'd be really frustrated if I were you. To the texting and sexting does not. Does not carry a relationship. So I think that you need. Maybe he's really stressed. He got a promotion at work. He's got a lot going on. But I think that just like having a talk with him, explaining. You didn't say here how often you're seeing him. But it's interesting because I just. I'm going to say this, that a lot of people are like, I've heard this before. Oh, my God, I never see him. I only see him twice a week. And the guy could say, I see her all the time. I see her like twice a week. So you might. It might be. You might be seeing him at a time that feels good for him. He might be like two to three times a week is fine. So I'm not sure if you guys are having a discrepancy on what is a lot of what is enough time together. So you need to discuss that. But if you're not getting your needs met and he never wants see you, it sounds like he's just not that into you and you gotta end it. I'm gonna be harsh if a guy. If she's feeling. But he might be seeing you as much as he can. Three times a week, two times a week. And it's totally. That's all he can do right now. Maybe he's going through a phase at work. So I just think you have to have the dialogue with him. He only lives us an hour away. I don't understand. You said, what can I do to explain how not seeing him is affecting me? To me, that seems pretty obvious. If you're not seeing each other, you're not in a relationship. Yeah, you have to see each other.

It's only an hour.

It's only an hour. It's not a big deal. So I would say, like, how often is it? Only the weekends. And you want one more day during the week. But I think that you both have to come to a mutually agreeable amount of time that. That works for you. Make a schedule, plan weeks out. Maybe he's like one of these people who can't prioritize, and he gets overwhelmed. And he didn't. He's like, oh, I meant to see you on Saturday, but. So maybe you guys need to have a calendar. Like, share a Google Doc calendar and create times that you're gonna see each other and don't break those times. But if he's like, can't do it, babe. Really busy, Got basketball this night, got this that night, then he's not that into the relationship, and he's not willing to prioritize you right now. And that's a problem because you should be prioritized. What do you think, Manus?

I think that if he wanted to hang out with you, he would spend more time, more effort.

But again, we're not sure how much time he is spending.

Yeah.

Honestly, I just had a conversation with someone.

It's bad for me to say that because I never have time to hang out with anybody.

I know that's why you. You're not in a relationship. But I literally just had this conversation with them, and she's. Conversation with someone, and she said, we never have sex. Or she's like, we have sex all the time. She goes, we have sex, like, twice a week. And I know that a lot of people, a lot of guys would think that that's not a lot. So anyway, there's discrepancies in what is a lot and what's not a lot.

Okay. Dear Emily, how do you make a girl squirt?

Oh, how do you.

From Armando in New York.

I love that.

Succinct, to the point. He didn't have any bullshit around it. Okay, here's the thing. Armando girl, you're talking about female ejaculation. And there are schools of thought that any woman can learn to ejaculate. And I think it's kind of true. I think. I think that there's certain things you have to do. Start by using your fingers and playing around and see what works.

Start with foreplay first. Get her really aroused. We always love foreplay. And once she's turned on, it's. It's usually by the G spot that a woman is able to. Or to female ejaculate. So you can stick two fingers inside of her with Your palm facing up about an inch or two. Inside, you'll hit a ball of skin, which is like. Which is feels, which is like a little bit, which is. That's the G spot. So you'll feel a little round ball of skin and keep stroking that area with pressure. And the most effective way to have her ejaculate is by using your hands to manipulate the G spot. A lot of women can ejaculate, ejaculate during sex, but it's great just during intercourse. But it's great to start with your hands and just keep putting pressure on the G spot. That is the way you do it. That is where it comes from. Not. And it takes practice. It just like having a G spot orgasm or any other kind of orgasms. You need to practice. And practice makes perfect. So good luck to you. Don't forget to try clitoral stimulation first, though, because a lot of women, before they can have a G spot orgasm or G spot ejaculation, they need clitoral stimulation first. So you can also try a sex.

Toy, a clitorial simulation. How would you do that?

Are you serious?

No, I'm just saying there's a bunch of different ways. What ways would you recommend?

Oh, okay. You could use.

Say that. But you're right.

Oh, my God. Great question. Great menace. Thanks for paying attention. Listen, clitoral stimulation, first of all, the clitoris. You know, the clitoris, it has thousands of nerve endings, more nerve endings than any other part of the body, more than the penis. The clitoris is in the. And the clitoris is the only part of the body that is created to give the woman female pleasure. It's only there for pleasure, so you should get to know it. Now you can stimulate the clitoris by using your hands. It's good to get them wet using lube. Like lick your fingers or put them in your mouth, make them wet, use saliva or use lube. And you rub the clitoris with your fingers, sometimes not directly. Sometimes it's on the side or different parts of it. And you start really soft. And you just try to see how she feels. Is she moaning? Is she screaming in pain? Start again. Start softer. Touch a woman five times softer than you think she actually wants to be touched, because that's usually about right pressure. You can also use your mouth. You can use your tongue. You can perform oral sex on her. That feels amazing to many women. A lot of women can have orgasms that way through hands or through mouth, using your tongue, circling around the clitoris. A lot of women can't take direct clitoral stimulation. So it's like a little bit on the side or around it, but it's different for every woman. So every woman you're with, you're going to have to try it out and see what feels good. But hopefully the woman that you're with masturbates and she knows what makes her feel good. Because literally, it is different with every single woman. You watch 10 women, you put 10 women in a room and they're all touching their clitoris and they're all touching it differently.

I usually just put peanut butter on my balls and that's how I get stimulation.

You should try that with a woman's vagina.

Put peanut butter. Sure. Or no. Do not. Do not.

See, I was gonna wait till you got that.

Any sugary substance, no whipped cream, no maple syrup, no chocolate sauce, and no peanut butter near the genitalia, near the vagina. Because if it gets inside, she can get a bacterial infection. It's really bad for women. Don't do that.

Fine.

No Crisco oil.

Fine.

No Vaseline even. Yeah, women's vaginas can get really messed up from stuff like that.

I get all weirded out with all the lubes and all that stuff.

What do you mean, honey?

Because this, you do it on the bed and it's like so. It's so dirty. You think that you would mess up the sheets with all this lube all over the place? Yeah, Every time I get weirded out when I see stuff on television when somebody's laying in bed and then they. They pour like oils on them and stuff, I'm like, you're gonna get oils all over the sheets and the sheets are gonna be super nasty.

So what, you wash them? Sex is messy. Lube is awesome. And I think that everyone should use lube. And you should go to adamndeve.com they have this amazing lube they just sent me and it's there if you want water based lube or other kinds of lube. But it's in a pump. It's this big. It's this big and it's a pump and it's gonna last me forever.

Did she didn't reply and say, can I get a larger one?

No. It's the largest thing of lube. Like it doesn't fit in my nightstand. It's so large.

Really?

I love it.

So you're just gonna leave it on the nightstand?

Yeah, why not? Whatever. Just put in my hand. Lube is messy and oils are messy, but sex is messy. Things squirt we're talking about a female ejaculation. That's pretty messy.

Well, can she clean my bed afterwards?

You clean your sheets. Men should clean their sheets more often. You know, it's so gross when you're like in a guy's house and you know that the sheets have not been cleaned. That's creepy. We're talking about creepy men. That's dirty and stinky because we know guys are like masturbating all the time and you get in their bed for the first time. Oh my God. Ill. Please wash your sheets.

It just has a nice musky smell to it. I actually had a. It was so funny. My friend, she was watching. She was watching over some guy's house and she tweeted, she's like, guys need to really clean their sheets. Like, I literally busted them out.

I know. I had a guy. First time I slept with them. I ended up dating for a while. This is LA guy, of course.

Every time you're like, first time I hung out with this guy and then.

I dated, I did. He's been.

Every time you're annoyed with the. The first time you see them, but yet you ended up dating them.

That is a great point because let me tell you something. My, like, my mom always says the issues you have on the third date are sometimes the first date you have forever and on the very first. Okay, I didn't sleep with him the first date, but maybe I slept with him like on the third date.

Maybe one and a half.

Okay, whatever. I don't remember. There was like a chick. I slept in his bed and I looked to my left and there was like a hair. Like a full on, like, not just like a rubber band, which get the female. You said the scrunchies or whatever.

Yeah, Those are landmines, gentlemen.

Look for those. It was like a nice, like a hair clip, like with rhinestones on it sitting right next to the bed, like on the. On the. My side of the whatever. The parter side of the bed. And I was like, didn't you do like a sweep before you have another woman over? Like, get rid of the stuff. So obviously this woman had just left this hair thing there like the night before or something, and it kind of grossed me out.

But you ended up dating him.

But I ended up sleeping with him for two years.

Yeah, whatev.

And he cheated on me probably.

Oh, cool.

So anyway, look for those kind of landmines that women leave around so they'll be invited back. That's what my guy friends say. I don't think it's true because I've left stuff at guy's house and I over apologize. I'm like, so sorry. I left it there because I don't want guy. There's the theory that women leave stuff so they'll be invited back.

Yeah, I just throw it away.

Perfect.

This guy also had a drawer of women's underwear that had all been left at his house.

Oh, that's great. Classy also. Well, then you get. Sometimes guys fear. They're like, I don't know where this came from. I don't want to say, oh, hey, you left such and such here. Because I don't know if this is yours or not. They could be somebody else's.

I had a guy. Okay.

Exactly. Oh, so you can't ask them if it's theirs. Yeah, this guy did this. So the guy that I no longer seeing, but that I've been seeing for the last year, open relationship guy, he's like, oh, I think I have a pair of your underwear hair.

Oh, okay.

And I was like thinking to myself, this is so not a good idea for you. Cause what if they're not mine? So, like, it was like the longest one minute that he went to his closet and brought them out. Not mine.

Oh, okay.

I'm like, but I think I know whose they are. This other girl, he's dating him. Like, she would wear those. I wouldn't wear those. And we just kind of. He was like, okay, sorry about that.

Really. Do you know what's good times.

Good times in my life? People?

Yeah, I do wash my sheets, but.

But.

But I don't know what it was. There was one night I was going home with some chick, and she had to go to the bathroom. And then I noticed that there was some chick. Other chick's underwear on my floor. And I didn't know what to do, so I didn't know where to put it because, you know, I'm always in and drunk. So I come up with the best ideas. So I just lifted the mattress super high and I threw it in the middle and I totally forgot about it. And then this is a year and a half later after I like, you know, been in committed relationships and all this stuff, and then I go to, like, move, move my mattress and it's there. I'm like, oh, my God. I could have been busted so many times.

Oh, my God. And she. But you're a committed girl. Never found it.

Never found it.

Oh, my God. I found. That's a good show, actually. Good show. Topic of all the Things you found. I had. Oh my God, I found so many things. I had a. I was dating two guys once. Shock. Years ago. This was years ago when I just moved to my apartment and I. But one of the guys didn't know that I was dating other guys. Uh huh. And there was a condom. He was helping me move my bed and there was a. I just moved into my apartment and there was like a full on. Like he was helping me move it and there was a full on condom.

Hanging off. Like a used condom, which usually you should just throw away, hanging there. And he's like freaked out. And I was like, oh no, I think that's your. It's from. It was from. He's like, you just moved. Like you moved a dirty condom. Like I literally just moved. But I slept with the other guy like the day before. I'm such a. Anyway. And he found the condom. It was horrifying. Okay. I was like. But he believed me, I think. And I was like, man, throw away the condoms right away. Okay. My dog leak.

I lied for a friend.

You lied for a friend?

Yeah.

What'd you do?

They. Luckily they don't listen this, but they.

One day I'm just having like a good day, just having a good day. And then I just get a call from my buddy's girlfriend.

So did you. You left a condom at her house? I'm like, what the. What are you talking about? And I was like, no, no, no.

And then you should have said yes. Didn't you know that your friend set her up?

But I just, I was so, so thrown off.

Sorry.

I'm just having like a great day.

Right?

And then I don't think he had a moment to.

You know, react.

I'm calling menace right now.

And then I go. Then he gets on the phone, he's like, hey, dude, you know you do this all the time. And I go, oh, yeah, I'm sorry.

Well, you like, you do this all the time. You go to my house and have sex and leave condoms around or just.

Doing it as a joke.

Oh.

And then. But eventually he came clean.

Okay, so he cheated on her. And that's.

No, I didn't. He didn't cheat on her. He was like getting in a hand job. I don't know.

I don't even get your story.

I don't even know what's going on. But I was. I was covering up for a condom that was found. Yeah, that's what dudes do.

That's what dudes do.

They're just not like chicks where they just sell you out.

I don't sell anyone out.

Unless a man's a vagina, and then he sells you out because he wants to sleep with the chick that you're sleeping with. That happens. And I got in a fight. I got a fight in high school with that. I got arrested.

You got arrested for what?

I think I've told you the story.

Probably, but I don't remember anything.

So when I was in high school, there was this girl that I liked. She had a best friend. We all had a class together. I like that girl. Her best friend liked me. They ended up getting in an argument not about me, and stopped hanging out with each other. I was supposed to go on this ski trip with the girl that I liked and the rest of school because we had a ski club, right? I. A week before, I was skateboarding. I broke my arm skateboarding. I couldn't go on the trip. Now a guy that was supposed to be one of my boys ends up going on the trip. He wanted to hook up with that girl. So to have a conversation piece, he said that I was going around saying that these two girls were fighting over me, and I was a pimp and Mac and all this stuff, right? I get back to. I get back to school. Everyone's back. These girls aren't talking to me anymore. They're friends again. And now the. The older sister of one of the girls wants to be my ass. So my other friends, who are my real friends tell me, like, hey, this is what happened.

And he was trying to say girls aren't loyal.

I'm talking about the guys that are their pussies because they have no game, and they have to, like, hate on other guys. So I end up confronting him, telling what's up? And I go, I know everything. And we ended up. He ended up, like, hitting me, and then I ended up punching him in the face three times, breaking his nose. And then I had to. Had a go and, like, give a sworn statement, all this stuff.

Oh, my God.

He hit me first. And luckily, we. You know, all my friends and I were video nerds, so we.

That's hot.

They had. They had a video camera, and they videotaped it from beginning to end. And then. So it showed, like, he hit me first, and I beat his ass.

That's. You know.

So I want to see a picture.

Of you in high school.

I never got out of it. Huh?

I want to see a picture of you in high school.

Okay.

I guess I just think that you'd be cute.

Thank you.

Okay. We've got time for. Okay, so because we're today we're going a little over because we. We started late. So we've got another. Because we got to get our topic. But I got one more email that I want to read while you're here because it's about us and I think we need to talk about it.

All right.

Heya from sf Kudos for having the show almost every day. I always, I always look forward to it. I've listened to the show for. From quite a while back. You guys are cool together, you and Menace. But lately I can hear more tension between you guys. I feel like Menace attacks Emily too much with the whole polyamory.

Oh, you wanted to bring this.

Listen, Menace. Yeah, this is serious.

I am serious.

I feel like Menace attacks Emily too much with the whole polyamory. Guys with ponytails, wine drinking with friends, etc. And now I can hear that Emily text back saying that Menace doesn't have sex enough, drinks too much, etc. What's going on, guys? Signed NN Menace, what's going on with us?

Because they're from San Francisco, so they're like, oh, don't bag on polyamory and don't beg on, you know, the fruity lifestyle that people live here.

It doesn't matter. If you were yelling at me for wearing the same gray tank every day, it would be, well, and I are having issues, he thinks, and I want to know if we.

We're having issues. No.

Do you feel that we've gotten more.

Tense?

Tense between each other?

I don't know. That's what he thinks.

No, I just.

Our listener has been listening for years.

I just think that, you know, we get to do the show more often.

True.

Every day. So we're bugging each other more.

Not that we're bugging each other more, but we're just.

Do you hate me?

I don't hate you. I just think that it's. It gives us the option to be more real, you know, Cuz through when we do a weekly show, everything's like.

Oh, it was weekly before, I'm so.

Happy to see you and blah, blah.

And now we're like, hey, like, hey, what's up?

This is. What the hell is going down. I just think it just gives us the option to be.

But I wonder if it's jarring, like he doesn't like it. If this guy doesn't like it, maybe we should be more loving.

Oh, let's everybody, let's hold hands and agree on the same and maybe you.

Shouldn'T bag on me for all of my wine drinking.

That's what I feel. Why can't I say it?

I know, but it just seems that there's more tension. I think it's interesting because people used to always say like, oh, you guys seem so good and so happy. And now we seem more tense.

Oh, you're not happy?

I'm happy.

I'm happy. I love doing this. I think it's fun.

And you love me.

And I love you too. But like, why can't. If I think something's funny, why can't I make fun of you? You can make fun of me for anything. Yeah, polyamory. But I guess it's ego, that crap. That's how I feel it now. Because you know what? This the way I feel, in my opinion, which is not gonna affect you people. Whoever wants to be a Paul in a polyamory relationship, it's not gonna stop you from having a polyamory relationship. Okay? It's just how I feel. And this is. You know what?

I know, but I'm just saying live in America.

And luckily.

What? It's not about that. It's about me and you. I think we need to have like a little mini therapy session.

A mini therapy session? You and your fine.

I love therapy. Love therapy. So good. Can't you see how healthy it's made me? All the therapy ahead.

Yeah, totally.

I epitomize health. Mental health.

What do you want us to be more lovey dovey?

Is that. No, I don't know. I'm just kidding.

Okay, I'll change it up for the last couple minutes.

Okay.

You look so beautiful today. Let's continue the show.

Thank you. I love when guys tell me I'm beautiful.

Don't you?

You never tell me that.

Oh my God.

You've never told me that. I don't even know if you might think I'm ugly. I don't even know.

You're very beautiful.

Thank you. Oh, that's so sweet. I feel good. I feel really good.

It's very entertaining. Go ahead.

Okay, we. Okay, well, we did start an hour. We have five minutes left.

We do have five minutes. And it sucks that we have five minutes because I would like to spend more time together.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

I know. And I'm sad that you're leaving. I know you're going to la. You brought it here with your suitcase. I almost cried because to me that meant I knew you were just. You were leaving.

Do you have an 8 by 10 photo that I can keep in my backpack, so I can.

I actually do.

Okay, good, because I need to put it in my backpack so when I'm missing you, I can just look at it. Hopefully we can Skype all.

Do you think we can Skype?

Yeah.

I could just sext you. I could. Naked pictures or something. Oh, no, you'd want naked, but just my face.

I love you without the sexting. You know? Yeah.

I could give you a headshot. Really? If you. I could run back to my office.

Okay. I would love to have one of those.

I'll sign it.

Cool.

Cool. Awesome. Um, we're gonna talk about today. What makes a guy creepy so not creepy?

I hate creepy guys. I hate him. And I hate when creepy guys talk to you. It makes me sad. I think puppies die when that happens too.

They do?

Yeah.

Aw. Okay, menace. What makes a guy creepy?

What does make a guy creepy?

In this large and competitive world of dating, women can't help but keep their guard up against guys that lack a certain charm. There are a lot of creepy men out there.

All men should be charming and giving.

What'd you say?

All men should be charming, giving and thoughtful.

They should be.

Yeah. And they should give a lot of compliments.

Is it? They should.

Yeah.

Do you know that this guy, the one of the guys. The guy that I'm dating, whatever, the guy that I like, he. He compliments me every day, sends me texts.

That's beautiful.

I love it.

As he should. As he should.

He was like, this was not creepy this morning. I think he said something to the effect of, I can't find it right now. It was something to the effect of, you're hot. And I loved it. I was like, I'm hot. Okay. So I understand that you might be creepy. Guys, I don't think know that they're creepy. So this is kind of a service, like a public service announcement for men to pay attention right now. So if you're a guy and you're listening to this and you're like, I gotta listen to that because I'm not creepy. You might be creepy. So are you creepy? Let's listen.

Number one.

Let's talk about it. Too close too soon. This happens far too often. If a man's like a close talker, a guy will assume that since a bar is loud that he has to invade your space in order for you to hear him. Newsflash. We can hear you. And we'd appreciate if you'd stop spitting on me with your garlic fries and beer breath. We'd appreciate that.

I was Watching Sex in the City once. I was watching Sex and the City once, and they totally didn't like this one guy because he was a close talker and he had bad breath. Yeah, fellas, look out for that. You know, it's called mints.

Mints have. This happened the other night. My friend was like, really into the sky and she said, he's got the worst breath. I can't talk to him ever again. Like, she's like, I liked your friend. I thought he was cute in his breath. She had some really funny line of way of describing it. I can't remember what it was, but it was like, his breath is like death. But it was funnier than that because I can't remember what it was. So, yeah, close talkers. There's a lot of close talkers out there. I don't know how you don't know that you're not a close talker, but just even there's the people who are close talkers and when they're not even in a crowded bar. So just measure your. There's got to be some kind of like universal measurement like that. You could do like an arm's length away or something.

Okay, number two, I have an autistic friend.

He's a very lesbian. He's a very loving gentleman. He.

When he goes to the fast food restaurant, he likes to put both hands in his palms of his hands on the counter, lean over to the person that he's given the order to. Like almost where he's whispering in that person's ear, and give his order. It is quite interesting. So that is a close talker.

That is close talker. And I think people who are close talkers are close talkers with everyone too. I don't think it's just women. So it's kind of like an impairment. And someone should write them an anonymous email and tell them, if you have a close talker friend, you should let them know.

I like to say, listen, you close talking motherfucker, please back the f up.

Back the f up. Okay, the next one. What makes a guy creepy? Too much in the know. Isn't it scary when someone knows all about you before you divulge the information? Like they Skype, they, they. They Googled you, they Facebooked you, they everythinged you before you meet them. So we're all like, guilty. We all do a little Google, a little Facebook, a little whatever. But he's like, oh, it's interesting that in six years ago or in high school, you were the.

I noticed your favorite book is the giving tree.

I like the giving tree.

So is mine, right?

The hungry caterpillar.

So I think that it's just good to keep that stuff to yourself and not to be like. I think that maybe some guys could think that a woman thinks it's flattery that you know so much, but we just think it's creepy.

Yeah, I hate creepy guys. The guys that, like, oh, you know, we'll just be in a normal setting. Hey, look at the rack on that chick, you know? Check out that. Look at the ass.

Those are latches.

I'm like, I don't. I hate. I don't like being around those things.

You're not that dude. I love that. You're not that dude. That dude.

I don't.

You're not like the. You're not the. Like, lurky staring. Yeah, that's the next one actually. Are you staring? Staring?

And I'm like, I'm happy. Like, none of my friends are like that either. Like, we can, like, look at each other, like, knowing without saying anything like, oh, that chick is super hot. Not say, oh, my God. And like, we don't have to just. We don't have to describe her body.

Right.

You know?

Totally. Got it.

If you find yourself describing chicks bodies to other dudes, then you might be a creep.

So guys. I assume that guys. But what about your buddies? Like, are you ever with a close friend out of the bar, you're just talking and you're like, hey, she. She is great. But, like, you're talking about a girl that you like. Would you ever say she's really nice?

No, See, that's the problem. Like, you. You women. I'm gonna say, you women.

You women.

You think that we go into this deep description of our sex life, but no, that's you guys. You guys are.

Oh, yeah, we break it down.

Filthy. Guys just.

We're just very detail oriented.

Like, I hit it. Yep. I hit it. Like, yeah, Yep, that's it. Don't go into like, oh, you know, I did this and that.

Yeah, we're like, okay, so when I orgasmed, I was on the bottom, but then I moved to the top, and then I gave him a blowjob and then he turned around and. Yeah, we get all the details.

Never, never talk like that ever.

Yeah, that's what we do. Yeah. But we don't have sports to talk about and stuff, so we talk about men's penises. No kidding. Not that we don't talk about sports. Staring. Staring is creepy. There are two types of staring. There's Macro staring and micro staring. Macro staring is staring at the entire package. He looks you up and down, undresses you with his eyes, and you feel like you're in an old mansion with one of those portraits of the scary old man whose eyes follow you wherever you go.

I'm looking at you naked right now.

I know. Then there's the micro staring, which means he fixated on a particular area of your body. Basically, the guy who constantly stares at your cleavage.

God.

So just look at my eyes. Look at my eyes. Tell me I have nice eyes and don't look at my ass or my boobs.

I still can't let it go. This one time that I accidentally, like, right when I met this girl for the first time, I, like, stared at her cleavage. And it wasn't. It's just like, my eyes was a tractor beam to that. And I didn't mean to do that. And I know that she saw me do that. And that was the first time I ever.

I know what happened. You talk about that all the time. You're, like, traumatized by that.

I am.

Because you stared at her boobs? Because why? You just were. Or what happened? You were what?

I was meeting her for the first time.

Right.

And then, like, I was walking up to her, and just. My eyes just, like, went down and, like, stayed there too long. But it just. It just feels like, oh, my God. That's the first impression that she ever got of me. It's not. I'm not trying to date this person at all. It's just, like, I see her a lot, and I think she's really, really cool, and I just don't want.

Does she have a nice rack?

She does have a nice rack, but I don't want her to think, like, interesting. I am here to check out her rack. We should have her on the show one time. I should just let it all out.

You should. Do you want to call her?

No. She's in Hawaii right now.

Oh, whatever. Okay. So. And then we're gonna have to do the rest of this tomorrow, but I can do one more.

Okay.

Because you won't be here tomorrow.

What?

You won't be here tomorrow.

I will not, actually.

Which makes me sad, because I really want you to comment. Maybe we could save this.

What's up to all my. All my friends out in Los Angeles. I'll be coming soon.

So excited.

Hopefully on one of you. I'm just kidding.

You better do something.

This guy thinks that I don't. I'm getting on you for not having sex. That's Hilarious. Okay, Complimenting body parts. By body parts, I don't mean eyes or hair. Those are some body parts that could be considered, like, tell me I have nice eyes, or you like my hair even though my hair is really bad right now. Even though they know it wrong. Some guys can't even. They know it's wrong.

I believe your hair is beautiful.

Really?

Yeah.

You're just saying that. Some guys can't avoid complimenting a woman's boobs. If you can't completely see that part of a woman's body, don't compliment it. That's a rule. If you can't see it, don't compliment it. Nice ass. Nice boobs.

Nice tits, girl.

Yeah. We're gonna have to continue this on another day. What makes a guy creepy?

And you know what? Do you know what else that upsets me that guys do? And has this ever worked in the history of men and women? When you, like, whistle at a chick or you go. You make some kind of noise when.

Construction workers tell the whole thing. Guys, hey, baby, come sit with us. Come sit with us.

As a woman, just go, hey, you know what? I need to go spread my legs right now. Let's go. Like, that has never worked, ever. And I hate it when that happens. When I'm. When I'm with some women and we're walking down the street and some guy makes a comment like, what am I supposed to do now?

Yeah, that's. What does he think that she's gonna be like, oh, sorry, Madison. These guys are cackling, cackling at me. I hate that, too. I hate when guys, like, make comments and whistle, or they're like, hey, come sit with us. Like, you know, there's a group of guys that are, like, drinking. Like, we walked up and down the street every time we go. We walk eight minutes every day from my office to the studio, and everyone's outside. And there are some times when guys are like, hey, Hi. Hey, come sit with us. It's just not gonna work that way.

Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. That's all we got time for. Remember to vote for us, go to sfweekly.com There's a banner. It says, it's their poll and it's we're number 20 best podcast. We love it. Thanks, everyone, for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com there's one overlooked mineral.

Behind better sleep, sharper focus, stronger muscles.

And a healthier heart.

And at least half of us aren't getting enough. Most people don't realize they're running low on one of the most vital minerals for human health, magnesium. And here's the thing, no single form of magnesium can deliver all of its benefits. That's exactly why Qualia Magnesium plus was created with 10 highly bioavailable forms of magnesium plus over 70 essential minerals. It provides total magnesium support, helping you sleep better, think clearer, move stronger and feel your best every day. And honestly, when you're less stressed and more energized, your intimacy and desire naturally benefit too. Sure, magnesium can help you sleep, but Qualia Magnesium plus goes beyond that. It's a whole body nourishment for how you think, move, connect and feel. More than just a sleep supplement, it's a foundation for daily well being which.

Absolutely supports a healthier sex life.

Getting enough magnesium from food alone is harder than ever due to depleted soils and chronic stress and our body's reduced ability to absorb it as we age. Well, Qualia's Magnesium plus formula is non gmo, vegan, gluten free and designed so all the ingredients work together for comprehensive magnesium support. And personally, I've been taking Qualia Magnesium plus in the evenings and I really notice calmer nights and clear mornings and just feeling more grounded in my body, which always makes intimacy feel more accessible and enjoyable. It's become such an easy part of my nightly routine. Experience the most trusted magnesium for your purity, potency and performance. Go to qualia life.comsexwithemily for 50% off and here's a bonus use the code Sex with Emily for an additional 15% off your order. That's Q U A L I A life.com sexwithemily thanks for Qualia for sponsoring this episode.