Episode 302 - How to Make a Sex Tape

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Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex.

Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them in a bygone day.

Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man e here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standard.

Oh my. The women know about shrinkage.

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks.

Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me? Oh, my God, I feel so good.

Being bad feels pretty good. You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com or. Many of you are there right now watching the show. You can watch and listen live Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday from 1 to 2 Pacific Standard Time. If you're a friends benefits member, which we so appreciate, all of our friends benefits, thank you so much. Glad to be here today.

And if you're not a member, just go to sexwithemily.com yeah, and become a.

Member because it's awesome. It's the best thing you can do.

You get the full show. So if you're listening to a clip right now on Stitcher, just Go ahead and go to sexalemy.com, get a password, and then you can listen to the full show.

Exactly. And you won't want to miss it because we're doing amazing shows and we're giving you all the sex information you need. And it's like 15 cents a day for better sex, which I think is totally worth it. Thinking. Speaking of better sex, I've got a book coming out called hot. Over 200 things you can try tonight. And it's actually really good. I showed it yesterday during the show. I know it's my own book. And you're like, yeah, of course you're gonna say your own book is really good. But really, it is just those little twists, little things you could do if you're like, my sex life's become stagnant. We're doing the same thing over and over again. There are some amazing tips in there. And we give you tips here on the show every day too.

And as a guy, the illustrations are just crazy.

They're hot. They're really hot. The illustration coming out October 11th. You can pre order on Amazon. It's called hot sex. And just search for my name.

Well, the new way to say crazy on street is cray. It's cray.

Cray.

Yeah.

I don't know this.

Yes. Now I just learned something.

I'm glad you see everything, man. It's so good.

So cray right now.

Yeah. So cray.

Is your life so cray right now?

My life is freaking cray, but in a really, really good way. I'm so excited. My mom's coming to town on Thursday from Michigan, and she's gonna be our guest on Thursday. Sweet. Yeah. As you recall, this actually fits well into our topic today. My mother was on the show about four years ago. Magnus and I were doing a live show, and we were talking, and there was a caller that came in and said something about making a sex tape. And I was like, I would not make a sex tape. Can you believe it, mom? Would you make a sex tape? And she said, well, maybe I have made a sex tape. So apparently my mom made a sex tape with my stepdad years ago. So who knows what she's gonna reveal on Thursday.

Cool. Is it on you porn?

No, she deleted it. Cause she was afraid we'd find it. Thank God. Do you want to find your mother's sex tape? No.

Hell no.

Hell no. So we gotta think if we gonna talk to her, and that's.

But if it's somebody else's mother sex.

Tape, I wouldn't no, you wouldn't want to. No way. I don't know. My mom's very open, obviously, look where I am. And she's really cool and she's got great advice and great things to say. So that'll be super fun. Today's show is about how to make a sex tape. The right smart way to do it, if you're gonna do it, because people are doing it. I'm not a huge fan. I'm saying like you can make a sex tape, but as long as you're really, really don't trust that your boyfriend forever you're gonna be together and he's never gonna show anyone. Make sure you have your hands on that tape and you delete it. You have a copy of it, you have an agreement, it's locked up in a safe. But if you do all those things and you trust this person, you're gonna make a sex tape anyway. We're gonna tell you the right way to do it.

I'd love to hear the tips that you have.

I know.

Cause I haven't seen any of them.

I know you haven't. And you've made a bunch of sex tapes. So you can probably have.

I can tell you if they're right or not.

Exactly. Cause Menace has his own library, which he's never shared.

I'm not. I am not one to share.

He's not that guy.

It's for me. I'm not that guy.

He's not that guy. Yeah, exactly. Which I love.

I'm the best person to make a sex tape with.

Really?

Yeah. Cause I don't want it out there either.

That should be on your website. Yeah, that should be your tagline. I'm the best person you could ever make a sex tape with. Yes. Yeah, something like that.

I should change my profiles.

Yeah, you should. What is your website if people want to find you?

Whitemenace.com.

Right? That's so easy. I love it.

There's so many good things there.

I know. He's the best. You got to check it out. And also if you want to call in and you have any questions or comments. Today, it's 415-992-7392. You can also leave us a voicemail anytime with your comments, questions, ideas, anything you want to say. You can have a voice on our voicemail and we will play it during the show. And don't forget, free Fridays. The show is free every Friday, everyone. We've got an hour long show. Anyone in the world can listen to it. And that's what I Got for you? We got a poll. We have the results to our latest poll. I'd like to tell you about them. Our question was, have you ever had a friends with benefits relationship?

Have I ever.

We have the results that come in. You have, right?

Yes.

Here's where. Here are the questions, here are the answers. I mean, the options for your answers. 8% said no. Personally, I wouldn't have one. 17% said yes and it failed. 29% said yes and we're still friends. And a whopping 46% said no. But I'm open to the idea. So apparently friends benefits relationships have not gotten enough bad rap because 46% of people want to try it.

Of course.

Of course they do. Why not? I've tried it. I've had a lot of. I've had. I've actually had more of those in the last few years than I've had regular relationships.

Yeah.

And they've all worked out swimmingly.

I had a couple.

I'm so honest about where I'm at. And this is only this. And we're. Because if you have a friends benefits relationship, we, we went through a trend where we had a bunch of emails about friends benefits. Like last year, like, for some reason it was like friends benefits month and everyone was emailing me about it. And I think the thing is, the key thing is you have make sure you're both on the same page. Like, you have to be really honest about where you're at. I'm dating other people. This is never going to go anywhere. I mean, whatever those things are, this is the place to be honest. Because a lot of times what happens is one person gets hurt. One person wants more than the other.

Yeah. And I have to tell you this. If it goes. So what, what is this? Once they start saying that where they kind of want more than what you're doing.

Right.

You have to cut it off. You can't keep on having sex with.

Exactly, exactly.

Because it's going to go all bad because of eventually.

Right. Someone's gonna want more. Or it happens. Usually someone wants more. They want to define it. Or there's always the case of someone's thinking, yeah, I'll do this casual sex thing, but eventually he's gonna pick me or she's gonna.

Yeah, I definitely had that happen where it's their idea. It's their idea and then suddenly they, they, they want more action. You are the one that set up the situation.

Exactly. That speak there where. That was their, that was their, that was their tactic to get a little menace yeah.

And then they're. They're like, oh, I can convince him.

Exactly.

No, you ain't convincing me.

I think women. And now I think men do this too. I'm not gonna say either, but I think a lot of people get into relationships thinking they're gonna change the other person. And the other person. I learned that from my mother. Nobody changes unless they want to change. But you're not gonna change the person you're dating. So if you're in a relationship right now and you're with someone, you're like, but if only he did this, this and that, or maybe one day she'll do this. Not gonna happen.

Well, that's kind of the plot right now with Two and a Half Men.

Oh, your new favorite show.

My new favorite show. I'm watching it now because I like the cooch. The kutcher.

The cooch.

The cooch. I'm like, huh, Kutcher. I.

That's amazing that he's doing it.

He's doing a good job. I don't think the plot line is as ridiculous it was before I used to think it was. And I shouldn't be saying this, because I work for the company, the worst show on television. But I didn't understand why it was hugely popular. It doesn't matter what I have to say about it.

No, not at all. Never matter.

Because it was like, number. It was like, number one. But now I'm really enjoying it with him. And so the plot line is kind of like, I'll tell you what's happening, because if you're not watching it, then you should already. You should already know.

Okay.

Okay. So I'm not really.

I know nothing about it. So tell me.

Anyways. The plot line is Charlie Sheen, he dies, and they have to sell Charlie Sheen's house. And the brother has been living with him for years, like, for free.

So they're going through the whole ceremony, and the brother's sitting in the house, and, you know, he's contemplating, you know, what. What has happened? And then suddenly, you see Ashton Kutcher at the window, and he's soaking wet, right? He opens door, and he's like, what's wrong with you? And he goes, oh, I. I just tried to kill myself. Right? He was trying to jump in the ocean because the house is on. On beachfront property, right? He goes, why are you trying to kill yourself? And goes, because my. My wife has left me.

Wow.

Right.

Okay.

And he goes, all things aren't that bad. My wife left me too. And he goes, you kid you know, are you, like, dead broke? He's like, no, I'm actually worth $2 billion.

Oh, my God.

Because he sold something. Something to Microsoft. Right? So that's the plot. So that's where you. You left off with the first part.

Okay.

And they go. And they. They go out and they have. They have drinks, and they become friends and all this stuff. So the next episode is you find out why the wife broke up with him.

Okay.

Because he's, like, totally hung up on the wife. Like, he's. He's speeding over the house. He's breaking into the house and trying to talk to her. And she explains to the. To the brother that's been hanging out with this guy Ashton Kutcher, why they broke up. And he goes, because he never grew up.

Oh, he was Peter Pan syndrome.

Yeah, it was Peter Pan. He's like, young billionaire, you know, and he just acts like a kid. And she's like, I'm tired of being a mom and taking.

Wow.

And he goes, I take care of myself. And she goes, who does your laundry? Who does this? Who does that?

Right. Love it.

Does everything for him. So that's why they broke up. And then. So they had to leave. And then they go back to Charlie Sheen's old house, which the billionaire just bought. He goes, I like this house. I'm just gonna buy it. And now he said, since they become friends with the. He became friends with the brother. Now the brothers still living there.

So it's kind of like Charlie Sheen. Like, the two half is that there's a little kid involved. Okay. I literally have never seen it.

He hasn't really been too much part of the episodes, but.

Okay.

It's just building the friendship between them.

Oh.

But at the end of the episode, the wife shows up and says that he wants to talk. She wants to talk to him. So then you don't know. So now I want to watch the third episode.

So good. Good television. So I wonder if he won't move out, though, because that would ruin the show. Yeah, they're not gonna get back together. So she plays the wife. Is she cute?

Yeah, she's really cute. I don't remember what her name is. She's not a huge actress, but she's had some roles.

That's kind of a clever twist. They did.

Yeah. I thought. I think it was really debauchery. I was totally thinking, oh, this is gonna suck and all that, but it was actually a really smooth transition.

Oh, cool.

You can watch Two and a Half. Two and a Half Men. On CBS.com. you can watch that.

You can. Okay, but now that I have a television, I can watch it on my television too.

You can set up your dvr.

My dvr. Which I will do. And I'm doing. That sounds good. You watch it last night. I went to a Giants game last night with my interns.

Shut up.

And I'm so sad you weren't there. Like we all looked each other like, where's medicine? I have to apologize that we ordered tickets. It was like a month ago and.

You didn't even tell me yesterday.

I forgot.

I. Oh, you didn't tell me on purpose.

No, I didn't. It wasn't until we got there, we're like, I'm an idiot because I always assume you're so busy you go to bed early, you wouldn't have gone. And you don't like sports.

It's cool.

Next game you're coming to next season.

You kind of told me about it a long time ago.

Right when you've gone.

I would have gone because remember my. One of my ex girlfriends works for the Giants, so I could have got names up on the jumbotron.

Next time. Well, we had a blast and we had so much fun and without the intention. Sorry, but they're like, okay, sporting. First of all, it was the most beautiful night in San Francisco, which it's never warm in San Francisco. We have the most amazing ballpark that's right on the water and it's right on the bay and it's beautiful and it's warm and nice and there's a lot of good looking dudes at the Giants game. I'm like, if you're a chick and you're not even into sports. Because I really wasn't watching. I was like, should we get more beer? Should we get more popcorn, whatever. Like, I wasn't watching. Good looking, a lot of dudes. It's a dude fest. I mean, obviously to most people. Wait a minute.

Guys like baseball?

No, no, no. I know that's really obvious. But I never go to baseball games. I've been to, like, I've lived here for a while. I've probably been to three Giants games.

I know so much.

Friggin blast. Hot chicks too.

Yeah, they're into it.

So go to baseball games. Go to sporting events.

Yeah, I really can't go to that unless I'm getting wasted because baseball's super boring. But beers are 10 bucks. Yeah, but I noticed the hot girls, they're really into baseball and they're really into. I was about to say socce, but hockey.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. They love the hockey players.

They love watching the hockey players fight and stuff.

Exactly, exactly. They think it's hot. So that was really fun. It was a fun. Beautiful. Like, I'm so glad I live in San Francisco. Evening.

Glad I went next time.

We were really sad. Weren't we sad, Lauren? We were sad.

Cool. Yeah, we were, like, making chicken and rice.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Actually, I made stuff. We don't love you.

You made stovetop stuffing?

Yeah.

Good for you. How's the cooking show coming?

Good. I almost had my logo done.

Oh, perfect.

For the website.

You got to check that out. You got to teach me how to cook.

Yeah.

Yeah. Okay, so here's our new poll that people have to answer@sexthenly.com.

All right.

Do you talk about your sex exploits with your friends?

I'm a man, and I keep it to myself. I'm a man, and my buddies and I enjoy talking about it. I'm a woman, and I don't kiss and tell. I'm a woman, and that's all we talk about. Those are your options. All right, I know what you're gonna say. You never talk about it. You're dude, and you don't talk about it. Yeah.

Yeah.

But I think a lot of guys do, so I want to hear from people. We want to get your answers. Go to our website and check out the poll.

No way.

Yeah.

Guys don't do that.

Tons of guys do.

No.

Yeah, they do. I've actually asked guys lately because I said, do you show sexy pictures if they. Someone sends them to you? They're like, for sure. Like, my guy friends always show me because we're talking about people who text sexy photos, and you were saying that guys don't share that stuff. Guys don't talk about sex, but I think they do.

No, they don't. I mean, at least the people and I have a very eclectic group of friends.

All type of friends, but you're the common denominator. Maybe they think you don't want to talk about it, which is ironic because you're on the sex show.

Yeah, but I. I don't know. I don't want to see.

I don't want to see my. My buddy's chick naked. I don't care.

Right, Right. You know, you got to.

My buddy's chick. I'm never gonna sleep with her. Who cares?

Right? I got it. A lot of guys don't feel that way.

It's bros before hoes. You feel me?

I feel you, man. I feel you.

That's my mentality.

A lot of dudes, I remember sitting with my friend's brother a few, like, years ago, and he was just dating this girl who he's now married to. So that shows that it wasn't just some floozy. He's now married to her. She's amazing. But he was like, when they first started dating, he was like, check this out. It was like her naked in some cheerleading skirt. We were at dinner. He goes, look at this photo. And he had no problem showing me this picture of this woman.

No, it's because we're friends. It wasn't because I'm sex.

Yeah.

He was just, like, psyched. He was showing it to everyone at our table. There's like 10 of us at dinner. He's like, look. And maybe you think that's disrespectful, but I think there's a lot of guys whose first impulse is like, oh, my God, that's so hot. And they show everyone. I want to know what people think.

Not me.

Sex with Emily locked down. That's good. It's good.

Passwords.

Women should feel very safe sending you their sexy photos.

I have passwords on my phone. I have actually just took. Took off last night. That's where. While you guys were having fun at the baseball game, what I was doing. I took off 6,800 photos from my phone.

Shut up.

Yeah.

Where'd you put them all?

Just backed them up on a hard drive.

Wow.

Which another hard drive that you can't get into because it's past.

Did you sort through all them 6,800 or you just download them all?

I just. I just took them off.

Wow. I was running out of photos on my phone, cuz why?

I was running out of room.

Right. Totally. That happens.

Yeah.

Okay. Anything good? No. Any sexy photos?

There was. There were some sexy photos in there. Like naked shit photos. They're gone now, man.

You would show them to me though.

Maybe. Yeah.

If we were together. You would show them to me? Yeah, I think.

Well, I send you. I sent you a picture of a chick giving me a blowjob one time, but.

Oh my God.

But that was only. That was only cool because the chick, the chick was on the phone with you and she said it was cool.

That's not what happened.

I don't know. I was hella drunk. I don't remember exactly.

I'll tell you everyone what happened. This is actually my favorite menace story. I'd say it's my top five favorite menace stories. It's like Saturday night. And I'm like, a loser doing nothing or something at this point the night. And my phone rings and I'm like, driving back from the convenience store, buying, like, half and half for coffee or something. It's Saturday night. Menace calls me and he's like, hey, guess what I'm doing? I'm like, what? He's like, I'm having sex right now. I'm like, really? And then this chick gets on the phone. He's like, do you want to talk to her? I'm like, yeah, sure. And she gets the phone. She's like, hi. And then I talked to this girl. And then. And then you guys went back to having sex?

Yeah.

And then I'm like, I'm listening to Metis having sex. And I hung off.

But, yeah, I thought that the photo thing's cool because.

And then you sent me a picture of her having. Giving you blowjob.

Yeah.

And where is that photo?

I don't know.

Damn, I should sell it.

But the thing is. The thing is, the only reason I shared it from you because she was cool with it. If she wasn't cool with it, then I would never show it to you.

Right?

Yeah.

I'm sure when you guys were both in your drunken stupor, she consented.

She did? Yeah.

It's awful.

She consented to talk to you on the phone.

I know. That was awesome. Whatever happened to that chick? You probably don't even remember who it was. I bet you don't remember who it was.

I do.

Oh, that was funny. That was a top five.

She was a classy lady.

I love that he was having sex and you thought of me. Yeah, that's the part where I was the most touched.

Oh, because you love when you get the attention.

No, it meant that you really care about me and you wanted to prove to me that you actually have sex. Yes, which I was. Which was proven.

You were blown away by that.

Blown away. You were blown away, actually. Okay, I've got some sex in the news.

Okay.

Okay. Surprise. Kat Von D, now not in a relationship with Jesse James.

They broke up again.

They broke up again after the tattoo duo broke up in July, only to get back together again in August. We knew it wouldn't be long till we'd hear things that weren't working out. Well, that day has come. Rumors about the relationship, about Sandra Bullock's ex, which is why we care, I guess. And he says, I am not. Kat Von D. Says, I am not in a relationship right now. It sounds like this second split was a result of James not treating his currently purple haired lady the way she deserves. It was clear to me that we were just on two different paths in life. Von D explains people. My friend put it best when he said I could never be more deserving of total noble love. And as a woman I think it's important to know your value and never lose sight of that. I wish Jesse nothing of the best. So he's treating her like dirt is what she's saying. Yeah. She's like I deserve to be treated like a woman and he's treating me like a bitch.

It seems like cats relationships. I, I met her a couple times. She's super sweet, like couldn't be nicer. But it just. I don't think she picks the right guys.

No, probably not. Jesse James not the right guy.

And she's actually. People don't know this but she's actually pretty young so I think that's probably why. And she just, just dating, just dating around. Just dating the wrong guys for her and stuff like that. And then.

Right.

Just getting, getting in trouble.

She thinking like Jesse James is like the right guy. Like after what happened with Sandra Bullock and all that stuff. All the cheating.

Yeah.

Why would you trust someone after?

I think she just kind of likes the bad boy mentality.

Girl you can't keep him away from. Yeah, yeah. I was never that girl.

No matter what. And it's. And guys that you. If you try to butt in and try to save these ladies from bad boys, it's never gonna work out way.

They'Re not going to change. Just like we said. Going back to what I said at the beginning of the show. People don't change that much. And unless they want to change. And they do work on themselves. They have therapy, they do analysis of where they're at in their life. They're going to keep dating the same people over and over again.

Yeah. And then if that girl like runs through like 25 bad guys.

Right.

And then she's open to dating me, I'm not going to date her.

Right, right.

Because you're an idiot.

Do you think it's important? Like I think that'd be an interesting thing like to go back and look at who someone else dated. Like would you ever not date a girl? Then obviously you're saying that like if you, if you heard she dated some dude that you hate, would you not date a girl even if you were really into her?

Yep. I would not.

You wouldn't date her?

Nope.

Okay. I think it's interesting people's Dating patterns.

Yeah. And I don't say that.

Immature of me, but that's just this how I feel.

Right. Got it. But I like when I'm dating a guy and he's like, oh, I've dated, you know, I know the chicks he's dating and they're all super cool. And that's good. It's a good endorsement. Okay. The L Word actress kicked off flight for kissing her girlfriend.

I heard this.

Leisha Haley, star of Showtime's lesbian lesbian fueled drama the L World, was kicked off a Southwest Airlines fight for doing what she does on tv, kissing her girlfriend. According to Haley's tweet, flight attendants said that it was a family airline and kissing was not okay because families really hate kissing. Also hand holding and other lovey dovey signs of affection. Southwest responded with this lame statement. Initial reports indicate that we received several passenger complaints characterizing the behavior as excessive. Our crew, responsible for the comfort of all customers on board, approached the passengers based solely on the behavior and not on gender.

Dude, what is.

They say they're gay friendly. They say they're gay friendly and it had nothing to do with them being two women.

Oh. I mean, I'm sure most of their flight attendants are gay, but.

Why can't you make out on an airplane? I've made out on an airplane. Yeah.

I don't know. People get ultra sensitive when kids are around.

Yeah. I mean, I wasn't like fully on getting it on, but I'm sure I've made out an airplane.

Yeah, it's. I don't know what's going on with Southwest lately. They kicked off Billy Joe from Green Day just recently off a flight because his pants were sagging a little bit low.

Really?

Yeah.

So what? That would be you, right?

Yeah, I'd be like, fuck you. I'm all about Virgin America anyways, bitches.

I love Virgin America. I know, but Southwest has the best on time record.

I don't give a crap. It's the greyhound of the skies. It is a toilet.

It is a toilet. But they're always on time. They're never delayed. San Francisco flights are always delayed. Southwest are not. Well, that's great, but I guess I don't want to go there and make out with any.

I have actually got a hand job. I actually got denied on a Southwest flight, but I was just. I was intoxicated in San Diego.

You got denied? They wouldn't let you on.

Yeah, they wouldn't let me on. I had to wait six hours.

Menace.

A hole.

Menace. Menace. Menace.

I know. I Sound like alcoholic on the show. But it's just. It's a weekend.

I'm not really an alcoholic. I just play one on the show.

It's just when I party, I just party hard.

I know. Just the week. You're just a weekend alcoholic.

Weekend.

Weekend warrior.

Yep.

Yep.

I go hard on the weekends.

I know you do, but.

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what's going on.

I don't either, but, like, do you think you can give a hand a job on airplane? People have sex in airplanes all the time. Kicked off for that.

Oh, yeah, of course.

Okay.

But this reminds me of a story I heard today. Did you hear about the Victoria's Secret thing?

No. Tell me.

Okay. Because children are involved. There was a. It's a Bay Area mall. I can't remember which one where they have a playground, okay. At the mall. And across from the playground, they just opened a Victoria Secret. So you know how they have Victoria's Secret ads of women and lingerie? Of course. The parents started complaining, right? And then they made a Facebook page and said, it's ridiculous and blah, blah, blah. And so the mall said, okay, well, so they put up these, like, bamboo trees that kind of block the area. They say it's not enough.

Oh.

And then they started interviewing these parents, and there's a bunch of fat, miserable bitches that are just jealous of those hot chicks.

Do you think that's what it is? They're like, I shouldn't have had the chocolate chip muffin for breakfast. Get off the swings, Peter.

Everyone that they interviewed, of course there's no guys that are complaining, right? But everyone that they interviewed was this fucking fat, frumpy chick that is just miserable about her life, and that's why she's complaining.

Yeah, but if there's kids and they're on the swing set and they're staring at women's breasts. I don't know. I could see that.

I don't really. I don't know.

Okay. Honestly, I get. I get it, though.

But it's like, kids get used for everything. Do you know that I get people all the time trying to win tickets for me, right? For a contest, and they try to throw their kids in all the time. Oh, man. Come on. And have kids like, you having kids. That's your choice, right? That's your choice to have kids, Right?

Doesn't mean that I'm giving you.

I don't care. I don't have. I don't have kids right now.

People think that's a currency I guess. Yeah. And it's.

They try to use their kids for everything and I can't stand it.

Yeah. Good to know. I will never use if I ever have kids as an excuse. Okay, Nancy Grace, that was not my nipple on Dancing with the Stars, the nip slip. Nancy Grace is adamant her nip did not slip on Dancing with the Stars last night and insists the object that poked out of her dress last night was merely a pasty. Gracie tells tmz, when I got dressed, I was wearing petals, nipple covers and an industrial strength bra. My dancing dress also had a bra sewn into it. She adds, I've been judged guilty without a trial. I will go to my grave denying the nip slip. As we previously reported, Nancy has been hiding various good luck charms in her bra. And last night she says she was packing a photo of her twins in her. Twins. Do you know these petals that go around your breasts? They're like stickies.

My ex girlfriend, after she got a breast enhancement, she stopped wearing a bra.

Right?

Wearing pasties.

Yeah. But they hurt when you rip them off.

Yeah. She stopped doing that after a while.

Right, right. Because if you have your boobs done, you don't need a bra, which is a good way to do it. But yeah. I could see though that those pasty things do look like nipples, if that's really what she's talking about. Yeah, yeah, I have some of those. But they leave this awful red mark on your boobs. Not attractive. Not a fan. So that was last night. Dancing. Last night. Dancing with the Stars. I don't watch that show, but everyone else does.

Yeah, I actually saw footage after that story.

Did it look like a nip slip?

They cut it really fast so you can. You can barely tell.

Who cares?

It doesn't matter. But nip slips are huge on the Internet. Tag that on the website.

What?

Nip slip.

Nip slip.

Yeah. Nancy Grace. Nip slip. Tag that on the website. People are searching it out. People go to sexdylene.com okay, little nugget for you guys.

I love you man. It's. You're so good. Okay. Teacher fired for having sex with a dude. Adults in private. 35 year old Florida elementary school teacher Natalie was. Natalie Sen Tagata was recently fired after someone sent her employer photos and videos depicting her engaged in sex acts with consenting adults. She also may have smoked some weed in the videos. Oops. The office of the Charlotte County School district where she worked for the previous nine years, most recently as a fifth grade teacher, received four photos and five videos featuring her performing various sex acts. But the videos were created in private places with no students or minors present. School officials and the general public have criticized her for her perceived moral shortcomings without condemning those of the person who sent the videos over the country. The scrutiny is, who do we allow to teach our children? Certainly not adults who have sex. I mean, that's crazy. She shouldn't get fired for that.

Yeah, that's.

She never came to work high, presented her home or movies in her classroom, whatever teacher. She smokes a joint and gets laid. But she shouldn't have videotaped it. Even though today's show is how to make a sex tape. I think people get so messed up, and they just, like, don't notice people filming them, like, what happens.

Yeah, don't ever videotape yourself getting high.

Right.

Don't do that.

Yeah, exactly. That's stupid. But I don't think she should have gotten fired. But it was in Florida. I'm not saying they're Florida, but there's always weird stuff going on in Florida.

Florida is pretty crazy. Florida released a story, it was A Florida Chronicle, sflchronicle.com I believe, where they said that ecstasy has been proven 100% to kill cancer cells.

Wow.

Yeah. I know that they've been doing research with ecstasy for quite a while now.

Yeah. For the depression and mood disorders.

But they put. They. They put that out there yesterday and their website, like, crashed.

Yeah. Really? It kills, like, your brain cells, too.

Yeah. But you know what? If I have cancer, I'll be eat out all day.

I know, Exactly. You're like. You might as well be really psyched have cancer. Right. That's so funny. I never heard. Didn't hear that story.

I probably want to, like, bang all the time, too.

Exactly.

What's wrong with that?

What's wrong with that? Yeah. Ecstasy, but not a good drug.

You got to get the. You got to get it from the prescription ecstasy, though.

You can get prescription ecstasy.

Well, that's. They. I'm sure they.

Oh, right.

Yeah.

Curing your cancer.

Yeah, I'm sure it's not, you know, stuff on the street is not gonna cure cancer. It's probably gonna kill you.

Exactly. Be careful, kids with drugs. So, you know. Okay.

That's why I've never done ecstasy. Because you could die from the first time.

Yeah, it's true. People do die all the time. Or they OD on it and you don't know what's in it.

Yeah, it's made up with, like, rat poison.

Get it from your doctor. Yeah. You have to get it. Yeah, but. Okay, let's get into some emails.

All right.

All right. Today's topics include long distance relationships, oral sex and marriage, sex classes, dating, younger women, and penis size. Okay. Always penis size. Dear Emily, my wife and I have been fighting a lot lately. We are very sexually active when I'm home, but right now I'm serving another term in Baghdad. I'm wondering if our sex might be the glue of our relationship, might be the glue of our relationship, or if that is even possible. I guess I'm asking for advice on what I can do to keep my wife happy while being overseas. I hope you have time to answer me back. I'm sure you get hundreds of messages every day. I love the show, and I find it helps me stay focused on missions in downtown Baghdad. Love always, Jim.

Thanks, Jim.

Jim, thanks for serving. Thanks for serving our country. I agree that sex is really the glue to many relationships. And all I'm saying, I think that, you know, it's hard. What are you gonna do when you're gone? But any ways that you can find to emotionally support her, support her more than, you know, like sending her notes, sending her emails, letting you know you're thinking of her. Send her sexy. Send her. I don't know how you do it. Like Skype. Have Skype sex. Can you do that? Do they have access to computers? I don't know what it's like being a soldier in Baghdad, but I mean, there are things that you could do to. I would say, I mean, women, a lot of times it is. Sex is tied into emotion. So if she feels like she's desired by you and she feels like, you know, I mean, this is just a temporary thing that you're away. And I would say that you just have to try to keep the romance alive through words if you can, and through Skype sex, if you can, or phone sex or something like that. But I mean, that's still never going to be enough. There's no replacement for the actual act of sex. But whatever you can do, find out what you ask her what she wants, like, what does she need from you? I mean, have you guys ever really had that conversation and said, you know, what exactly do you need? Like, have you tried to solve this problem together? And she might be. There might be some things that she's not getting familiar way that you can provide to her. Obviously you can't provide your penis to her right now, but there might be other things that she needs to keep her sustained till you get back in.

Town, find that thing that we heard about on the Internet.

I knew you were going to say that.

You can plug in the usb.

The USB thing and have sex. I doubt that he has those capabilities in Baghdad, but. Exactly.

I'm sure if he's listening in the show.

Right. I would say it's time to. I mean, this is the thing that baffles me is that so many couples never ever talk about their sex life. I mean they email. Email me about it. But I'm saying to you, like, go back and talk to her about it. What is she. What do you guys think together would be a great way to keep the spark and the romance alive while you're gone. Like what is. You know, what does she need? What do you need? And just bang her a lot when you're home. Yeah, yeah, bang the crap.

No, we gotta. Look, can we, can we get a link on that for the website? The USB thing? Because a lot of people are.

Sex thing.

Because people are. I mean a lot of. A lot of the emails we get are about long distance relationships and stuff like that. People are trying to work through it and that's are deciding if they want to do that.

Right.

Should totally try that thing. That'd be totally cool. I'd love to get a partner just to try it out.

Yeah. You know, I gotcha.

I should call some chick that I know.

We found it online, right? We found it before we'll post it. But it reminds me, it kind of looks like the Tenga masturbation sleeve that you're gonna have to use. You know, that's coming up. Our little bet about going to the Veterans ball.

Uh huh.

The Veterans ball or the Soldiers Ball or whatever.

It's. I'm so bad I can't remember.

It's something like the something. Mila Kunis was invited by a soldier.

It's not Veterans though.

It's not veterans. It's Soldiers Ball or something. And Mila Kunis was invited by one Marine ball.

Yeah.

Thank you. So. And he invited her via YouTube video. And she said that at first she said she couldn't do it and then she said she could do it. And I don't think she's gonna go in November. I think she's gonna. Something's gonna come up and she's gonna have a movie set and she's not gonna be able to go with the soldier. And I said when that happens, Menace is gonna have to use a Tenga T E N G. A masturbation sleeve, which is this really cool thing. I gotta bring it in and show you. But it's really cool for men. And I think it would be great for soldiers in Iraq to carry around a masturb. Menace is gonna have to use it. And then if I lose, which I won't, I have to eat a banana on there. Just to bring you up to speed on our little bet, Two bananas happening in November. You said one banana. You can't change it to two bananas. Cause you can't.

All right, I'm gonna find the largest banana I can.

You better start not looking. Cause it's never gonna happen. I'm not gonna lose this fight.

Oh, and where I'm looking on the website, where's the picture of me in the Tinky Winky outfit?

It's yesterday's show. Go under episodes. Okay, Right. Were you here yesterday? No Go under episodes. You know what? I think we posted it on who's Here? Yesterday?

I don't see it on the blog either.

Oh, it should be there. It's on Facebook. We posted on Facebook on our sex Only page. But I thought we posted on the website too.

Maybe not.

Okay, write that down. We're gonna post it on the website too, because yesterday was a busy day.

I took another one.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

Tinky Winky is a Teletubby.

It's a Teletubby. And I didn't know it was the gay Teletubby until after Menace is a.

Gay Teletubby in his off time and an alcoholic.

So I've been posting a gay Teletubby, alcoholic. I've been posting on Instagram. Now, Instagram is an app. It's only strictly for the iPhone right now, where it's basically Twitter, but with photographs. And there's a lot of stuff that I share on Instagram that I don't share on my Twitter and my Facebook and my blog. So I have a friend that works for. For Instagram, and she saw me, I put on this Tinky Winky outfit after I went to the Halloween.

Just in your spare time.

Just. Just for fun. Because I went to the Halloween store and I thought it'd be funny.

Never dull moment with you.

So I put it on, I take the picture, and then she's like, oh, my God. You gotta do like a whole series, like, of photos. So one of the. The first photos in the series is Tinky Winky cooking breakfast, right?

That's the one that's on my Facebook page. Sex with Emily. Everyone go there.

And then I took one yesterday where it's Tinky Winky taking a Shower.

Oh, my God.

And it was huge. If I can load it, we don't have great space.

It's hilarious. You look so cute in your little Tinky Winky outfit.

Yeah, but I don't show my face.

Never in any of these?

No, only the first one.

I think we should.

Not the one in the kitchen.

Oh, my God. That's hilarious.

Yeah.

Oh, my God. With your plastic shower curtain. That is so funny. Are you gonna be there on Halloween?

For sure, Yeah.

A pink Teletubby.

My work has a. I thought the gay one was a concert.

I thought the gay one was purple, but maybe I'm getting Teletubby.

That is purple.

It looks pink.

You are colorblind. That is so purple.

I might be. My dad was colorblind, but I don't think I'm colorblind. Tinky Winky pictures are gonna be up on our website. And they're also on your page. Madness. Keep doing that. I love it.

All right. It's just for a joke. I don't know why I'm doing it, but it's fun. You're having a good time to enjoy it. I'm not.

You're entertaining yourself.

I'm not a furry.

So no furries chick who lives with you.

People are taking the pictures. God. Whatever you're doing, you gotta call me on that every single day.

Cause you never talk about it and it's just mysterious. I'm coming over again to the bottom of it.

Go ahead.

I've never been to your house. You've never invited me over.

I know, because I'm in a situation.

Oh, Jesus. Get enough of the situation. It's really bogging you down. And me.

Yes.

Okay, next email. Hi, Emily. I love your show. I'm a listener from New Brunswick, Canada, and I've recently listened to one of your podcasts where someone noted that women stop giving oral sex after marriage. I would like to tell you that after 15 years of marriage, I've received and given more oral in the last year than the first 10 years combined.

Wow.

In fact, I would give it even more if we found the time. The reasons are quite clear. She loves me, I love her, and we make time for each other. Not our relationships are doomed to failure. And your listeners need to know that. We have two children who are 8 and 12. And yes, we have to plan our rendezvous, but that makes it even more fun. I would love for you to read this letter on your podcast so my wife can truly see how much I appreciate her in my life. Sign, Paul. I love that email. There's so many emails that I love. I love that email. That email is a top email. Because it's like, we. There is a. There is a thing. There is a rumor out there or a stereotype or whatever that women stop performing oral sex on men after they get marriage. After they get married, they like. They're like, okay, here's oral sex. And then they. The penis never in the mouth again. After they get married, there is a rumor. Women stop. And he's saying, that's not true. And we've heard from a lot of people that it is true. And I know a lot of women who are married. Not a lot, but a few friends who are like, I hate it. I don't want to do it.

I should just call my friend that's married and see if that happens.

Sure. Call your friend. Love calling your friends. Paul, thanks for the email. That's awesome. I'm glad that you guys continue to perform oral sex even more and more. They've been together 15 years. In the last five years, it's even more oral sex. Please. When you get married is the last thing you should stop doing, is start having. Stop doing stuff like that. You should start having more sex because really, it's gonna. It's gonna wane anyway. It happens in marriage. It happens in relationships, and you should keep on keeping on.

Yeah, my friend's been married about, I think, five years now.

Yep.

So we'll ask him.

We're calling him. Is he gonna answer?

My friend's a little. My friend's a little bit more normal than yours.

We can have normal friends. What do you know my friends?

Yeah, I know your friends. Your friends text message about, you know, how they get dumpsters of man juice inside them and stuff.

That's just one friend. She's in. Classy. Texter sexter. He's not answering.

He should be answering, but keep it going.

Okay, so next email.

Yeah.

Hi, Emily. Just found your show on itunes last week, and I can't. I can't stop listening to it. Everything that you say makes so much sense. I'm about to graduate high school in Michigan, and I feel that listening to your show makes me more prepared for the real world. I know that I might not fit in the typical demographic for the show, but knowing these great tips that you give out makes me so much more confident. I've never kissed a boy before, but I know that I probably won't find the one in this chapter of my life. If possible, could you do a part in one of your shows? For future college students. Thank you so much. I just love you and keep up the good work. Xoxoxo Christiana. P.S. thanks for adding me as a friend on Facebook. That's awesome. She's in Michigan. That's where I grew up, in Michigan High school. And she hasn't kissed anyone yet. And the show is helping her. And I love that. We should do a show. I've been thinking about that. That when you're in different stages of your life, when you're in high school, you need some sex tips. When you're in college, there's a different host of sex tips. When you're in marriage, when you're dating, like, there's. There's sex tips for everyone. So I think college student sex tips, not a bad idea.

Are you gonna release an app?

I'm gonna release an app for that.

College sex.

College sex. It's not bad idea.

By sex with Emily.

Sex with Emily. Yeah. I love it. Thanks, Christiana. I love that you're in Michigan too. That's right.

You get a lot of love from Michigan.

I get a lot of love.

You think it's a lot of people that just follow you online from home?

I don't know. Maybe. I've got, like, all my high school friends around I'm following, but I'm not really friends with that. I've been gone for so long.

Yeah.

But I appreciate that. Okay. Hello. I'm wondering if you can provide recommendations for the best sex classes and workshops in sf. My boyfriend and I are looking to spice up our love life and get better. Get better techniques in the bedroom. And I was looking to spice up our love life and get better techniques in the bedroom. And I was thinking that you could recommend someone or a coach for us. Any help you can provide is greatly appreciated. From Victoria. So in the Bay Area sex classes, there is the Citadel. C I T A D E L. They have classes. Good Vibrations has classes. Just go to other websites. Good Vibrations, you have to go to the in store classes center for sex and culture has classes. And as far as sex coaches, Celeste and Danielle. Celesteanddanielle.com they're amazing sex coaches in the Bay Area. They can give you some sex advice and coaching if you need it. So those are some places that have classes for you.

I walk by Good Vibrations all the time.

Yeah. Which one? On Polk Street.

On Polk. But there's also. There's one on Mission too, that I walk by.

Yeah. Oh, I'm having a party there. I can invite everyone.

It's open on the mission?

Yeah. October 6th at the GNU Good Vibration Store on Mission and 5th, across from the Bloomingdales. I am having a book launch party from 6 to 8pm Nice. My new book, Hot Sex. So everyone should come if you're in the Bay Area around that time.

Cool.

Yeah. Okay. Have you ever been into Good Vibrations?

I have walked by it many times.

You never go in.

I've peaked.

I need to take you there. Can I take you there?

I'll be there. I'll support your book launch.

You're gonna come?

Yeah.

I love when you come to my book launches. Okay, let's move into our sex tips. How to make a sex tape with your partner.

Okay. I want to hear what you have to say before I come in.

Okay. Making a porn with your partner is a great way to spice up your sex life. You can make the video very elaborate and turn into a personal porn movie or simply film yourselves having a good time. The key is to have fun with it and not to be too drunk. I just added that.

Okay.

Have fun with it. To make a porn, you will need a video camera or cameras, a tripod backdrop or bed comforter, other props as needed. Do you agree? What else do you need?

I agree, but I mean, you don't really need to invest in a tripod. I'm sure you can put it on something, but actually a tripod could probably.

Get tripods for like 15 bucks.

Yeah. And you can probably. It can probably angle better. You might have to tilt the camera down a little bit. So.

Okay.

Yeah.

Okay.

Invest in trouble. That's fine.

Make sure that your partner is completely enthusiastic about the idea. It won't be fun or sexy if he or she is not having a wonderful time.

Yeah.

Plan the plot. Decide whether you want to tell a story in your porn or whether you just want to tape yourselves doing the deed.

You're shooting a porn now because sex tape, you're. Just go for it.

If you choose to create a story, decide whether you want to write a script or ad lib the scenes. So are you just going to film yourself straightforward having sex or are you going to do some plot? Some people get kind of funky. They want to dress up in costumes. They want to do a whole story.

Dude, if I can find somebody down for a porn, I would totally.

You would not.

I would totally do. I'm an ex film student. That's how I got into radio, because I did a documentary on radio DJs. Like my whole background is film.

Do any of your sex tapes that you've made with your previous girlfriends have plots?

No.

Wow.

But I never even thought of making a plot.

Boning.

Yeah. You get to the most important part.

I love that you've all these sex tapes. Yeah.

But I would be totally down to shoot a one with a plot.

Like, what would the plot be like? I just think of.

I don't know. I mean, I have friends who do this. Like, you just met, and it's like, your first time. Especially if you're a couple who's been together for a while. And you can be, like, kind of nervous and shy and make it like a plot. Or you could dress up in costumes and you could be, like, the policeman and the. Whatever. Whatever. Like that. I think it'd be funny.

The policeman.

The policeman. And you're getting a ticket. Oh, no, officer, please don't give me a ticket.

Can I shoot one? You don't have to have sex in it. I'll just shoot one where we just make it like a trailer. Like a plot. That'd be so funny. I can totally shoot that.

Who would be in it? Me. And you'd shoot it?

No, no. I mean, I'll shoot it and then you can.

Who would I be in it?

You'll be like. You'll be. No, you don't have to deal with anybody. We can just be. It can just be, like, you solo a little bit. It's a trailer. You don't have to show anything, you know? And then you can be, like, a sexy cop or something. Answering the call.

Totally. I've got sexy costumes that I need to wear way often than I do.

I can totally shoot it.

Can we add it to our list of things to do? Yes, that is on the list of you setting up my dvr, but whatever. Okay. Choose the props and costumes. Even if you're not telling a story, you want to decide what you and your partner will wear and whether you will use sex toys. Sex toys are awesome. I think they'd be awesome for.

A sex tape. And if you want to buy sex toys, I just got to give a shout out to AdamandEve.com because Adam and Eve is where you should buy all your sex toys. They have props, they have toys, they have games, they have lingerie. And all you got to do is use coupons. Code Emily at checkout. You get 50% off most items, plus three free gifts, an adult DVD, and free shipping. What is the problem there? None. It's perfect.

Yeah. And you know what? Lighting is key, too.

Lighting is totally key.

Lighting is. You got to make sure because you don't want everything to turn out all orange.

So what's your recommendations for lighting? That's one of my points down there. But what do you. What do you recommend?

You know, just try to bring. Yeah, try to bring as much lighting is in as you can see into the room. And then also turn off the TVs. Any other sound just in the computers. Yeah, just any distracting sounds. Because let's say you want to edit it later. You're not gonna be able to cut that audio together. You're gonna have to take out all the audio and then put a. Put music over it. But you want the natural sound.

Yeah. The best part is the sound. The moaning. Yeah, right. Okay, that's good. That's good advice. Pick a location. Choose where you'll be filming it. Make sure the background color complement your skin tones and there aren't any distracting patterns. That's true. You got like posters and stuff all over the wall. That could be very distracting, right?

Yeah. And if you're gonna hold on to it, the posters could get at, you know, could go out of date. You know, you have Kirk Cameron from Team Beat on there. You know you want to look at it and then you're like, oh, did.

You have posters on your wall growing up? Just curious.

No posters.

Okay, so pick a location. So that's a good idea. So think about it. Think about the background. Prepare the cameras within. While a nightstander dresser can hold a video camera, you'll get more porn like angles if you use a tripod. Do some test shots to make sure you've angled the camera the best way possible. If you've access to more than one camera, you can use both and then have edit a great video on your camera. That's pretty. Have you done two camera?

I haven't.

I'm surprised you haven't. You, Mr. Film Student Sex tape maker.

No, if you can do. If I had like at least three or four cameras, I could do a 360 view. That'd be amazing.

Yeah. Or the GoPro.

The GoPro.

Yeah. GoPro would be good for porn, right?

Amazing.

Put it on your head. GoPro camera.

Awesome. There's these other attachments for your iPhone that you can put on there and it can do a 360 view of video. So you can actually click on the video file and then move the video file as the video is playing and move it360.

Wow.

Yeah, it's crazy. That would be really good too.

That would be good. See, now you're thinking about how to improve your sex Tapes. I love it.

This is like a Google 360 video attachment for iPhone. And you can see what I'm talking about.

That is so cool. I can't wait to get my iPhone next month. Okay. Check the light. Make sure you've got enough light to see everything you want to see in your porn. Do some more in your porn, in your sex tape. Do some more test shots to check. You can always bring lamps in from other rooms to help. I always. Whenever I'm shooting video, not my sex videos. But you have to always bring in more light than you think. Right. Grooming. We realize that maybe you're not always tidy. We're not always tidy, but the camera is going to see things that you couldn't possibly with any amount of neck craning. So problem areas to consider this is for dudes. Are your back, butt, and perineum. If you have hair, you don't. If you have hair, you don't have to shave those areas, but do consider undertaking some serious manscaping to make things viewer friendly. I'm sure the women are already scaping, but manscaping is good for men.

Yeah, you gotta. You gotta trim it up a little bit.

Trim it up? Oh, you always gotta trim it up. That's kind of like the trend and what we're doing.

And it makes your dick look bigger.

That's what they say when you trim your pubic hair. I feel like men are doing that more now, but not all dudes, but a lot. And it does make your penis look bigger.

There's, like, werewolves out there still.

Wow. I am here to tell you that there are.

That's gross.

It doesn't bother me. I'm. I'm actually, like. I've done shows on manscaping. I talk about manscaping. I think. I think if you've got a big bush down there and she's going down on you or whatever, it's good to have it shaved. It's good to have it clipped. But it's not a deal breaker for me personally. But that's just. Me personally.

That's so 80s of you.

Whatever. I don't care. I'm open. I'm a free spirit. Okay. Pop a cork. A glass of wine or tequila shot before disrobing can help you relax. But don't overindulge. Don't overindulge, menace. Too much booze can lead to either passing out drunk or engaging in embarrassing behaviors that you definitely don't want recorded.

Snooki just said the other day on Episode is that the. The whiskey wiener is the best because she's. They can go. Because guys can go forever.

Yeah. And then they don't remember it or have an orgasm.

I mean, they can eventually have one.

Not always.

And they work at it. Yeah.

I love that you were, like, drunk, effed up. Sex is amazing. It's like you don't remember it. How do you know?

Yeah, you do totally remember it.

Okay, so zip it. Moans are fine. Lots of chatter about how your workday went or attempting to mimic what porn stars sound like is unnecessary, unsexy, and is likely to make you cringe when you hear it later. Less talk, more action. So not like a lot of chatty, chatty talk. Just moaning and sex. Right.

I totally agree with that statement.

Okay. I won't be like, honey, we should talk. Oh, no, this is not the time of a conversation. Okay? This is the most important part right here. Hide the evidence. Here comes the important part. Protecting your tape from prying eyes. The safest approach is to watch the tape once and then delete it. But if you're going to keep it original, it's in your best interest to maintain possession of the tape.

One time. I don't shoot anything on tape anymore. Digital video.

Right.

But the first. The first one I did because it was before everything went straight to chips and stuff like that. And it was a small mini DV tape at the time. I was logging a bunch of DV tapes for my friend, a giant box of like a hundred something. And I mailed that box to New York. And I thought I mailed the tape inside.

But you didn't. But you thought you did.

But I didn't.

Oh, my God. See, that's the kind of stuff that can happen. People do here.

Yeah, but I'm much smarter about it now. That was my first one ever. I didn't know what I was doing. Now I'm good.

I got a sick Will you show me when you're sexy?

You gotta keep your game tight. Ladies and gentlemen. Will I show you one you really want to watch?

Yeah, I really want to. I won't tell anyone.

All right. Let me call and get permission first.

Oh, see? The good kind of guy.

I'm sure she'll be totally cool, that.

Woman who called me while she was giving you blowjob. Oh, different woman. Okay.

Yeah.

Okay. Store it under lock and key in a safe with a note that says, private, please destroy in case you get hit by a car and your grieving parents come to clear out your stuff. In other words, guard it with your life. Do not make a copy or let anyone have the digital file.

Yeah, don't.

The breakup. If you and your partner split up, the right thing to do is delete the tape and any copies, which we told you not to make anyway.

The guys will never do that. They'll never delete it. So you got to make sure you're not with some crazy psycho.

Don't be with a crazy psycho man and make a sex tape. Okay? Burn it, stab it, run over with your car, whatever it takes. Don't just throw it in the trash and think that's that. Make sure to discuss ahead of time how you'll be using the video. If one of you wants to share it on the Internet and one of you wants to keep it private, you should have an agreement before filming. And finally, just press record and have a great time. Make sure to discuss ahead of time how you'll be using it if only one of you wants. Yeah, share it. Whatever. Filming. That's what I got to say about that. That's how to make a sex tape in the most reliable, responsible way that.

So, when are you gonna make yours?

I don't know. I have to find the right person.

I'm asking the girl if I can show you the.

You are?

Yeah.

Oh, my God. I'm so excited. When can we do it tonight?

I don't know. I gotta. Wait.

I want to watch it. I've never made one. Maybe it'll inspire me. Maybe by seeing your art.

Mm.

Your cinematic art. I will wanna make a sex tape myself.

Okay.

Okay. But probably not. Okay, everyone, I think that that wraps it up. Tomorrow is Wednesday's show. We'll be playing a Best of, and you won't wanna miss that. And then Thursday, my mom is here. And you all get to see her and talk to her. And she'll be sharing all of her favorite sex and relationship tips. Cause she's really smart.

Yeah.

And that's what I got for you. Thanks, everyone, for listening to Sex with Emily. Do you have anything else to say?

Check out the photos of me dressed up as tinky winky on sexwithemily.com.

Yes. Okay. He's hilarious. Okay. Thanks, everyone, for listening to Sex Emily. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithamily.com there's one overlooked mineral behind better sleep. Sharper focus, stronger muscles, and a healthier heart. And at least half of us aren't getting enough. Most people don't realize they're running low on one of the most vital minerals for human health. Magnesium. And here's the thing, no single form of magnesium can deliver all of its benefits. That's exactly why Qualia Magnesium plus was created with 10 highly bioavailable forms of magnesium plus over 70 essential minerals. It provides total magnesium support, helping you sleep better, think clearer, move stronger and feel your best every day. And honestly, when you're less stressed and more energized, your intimacy and desire naturally benefit too. Sure, magnesium can help you sleep, but Qualia Magnesium plus goes beyond that. It's a whole body nourishment for how you think, move, connect and feel. More than just a sleep supplement, it's a foundation for daily well being which absolutely supports a healthier sex life. Getting enough magnesium from food alone is harder than ever due to depleted soils and chronic stress and our body's reduced ability to absorb it as we age. Well, Qualia's Magnesium plus formula is non gmo, vegan, gluten free and designed so all the ingredients work together for comprehensive magnesium support. And personally, I've been taking Qualia Magnesium plus in the evenings and I really noticed calmer nights and clear mornings and even just feeling more grounded in my body, which always makes intimacy feel more accessible and enjoyable. It's become such an easy part of my nightly routine. Experience the most trusted magnesium for your purity, potency and performance. Go to qualia life.com sex with Emily for 50% off and here's a bonus use the code Sex with Emily for an additional 15% off your order. That's Q U A l I a life.com sexwithemily thanks for Qualia for sponsoring this episode.