Epsisode 266 - Friends With Benefits

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You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships and everything in between. For more information about Sex with Emily, go to sexwithemily.com where you can do everything@sexemily.com youm can listen to the show, watch the show live every day from 1 to 2. We're running a few minutes late today. Sorry about that. We had some little technical stuff going on here and every day and it's also on demand. So we've got four shows a week that we're doing and we've got free Friday coming up tomorrow. Every Friday we are giving away our show for free. Yay. So you can listen to the show just like you used to and, and they're hour long episodes and you're going to love them. And I want to thank everyone who's become a Friends with Benefits member because our Friends with Benefits members are so, we love them. They're so psyched. They get answers direct. They get their emails answered directly. So we get hundreds of emails from you. But when you're a Friends with benefits member. It's like getting sex advice. Like when on demand. You're like, oh, last night I had sex with this chick and this thing happened and what do I do? Emily, I will answer you. Within a few days. You'll get your answers to all your questions. Plus you get exclusive videos and you also get weekly sex toy and product giveaways. Just lots of fun things. So thanks everyone for becoming a Friends with benefits member. It is $4.95 a month, which is like 15 cents a day, which is like nothing. It's like if you saw me at a bar and you were like, hey, Emily. So I love your show. Can I, can I buy you a drink? I'd say yes. So this is the drink that you're going to buy me for listening to the show. And I appreciate it. So anyway, everyone, thanks for listening to the show. Menace is out of town for a few days. He's at Lollapalooza in Chicago. He's very lucky man because it's supposed to be fun and hopefully he'll get laid and then share. Have those stories to share with us. He's got a. He's got a. He's got. He's got a thing for women from the Midwest. So we'll see how that goes. So I. A lot's been going on. Okay, so last night we're doing this whole. You know how my interns have been very active in the show. They did the intern sex toy reviews. We watched porn together. Well, now we're all going speed dating together. But they actually went last night and pre prior. I'm going next week because we're in different age groups. But prior to that we went out for some drinks, which was really fun. And Kelsey, intern Kelsey's here. Hi, Kelsey. Hey, Emily.

How's it going?

Good, how are you? You came in a little late today.

I know, I'm sorry.

Did you have anything to do with the free shots from the bartender?

Yeah, but you made me take your shot.

I know I did. I'm not a big shot taker. So I was like, kelsey, do my shot. And then she texted me at 7am that she's not coming in. So this is what happens. But it's fine. She's here now.

I was up all night.

Did you meet anyone on blind date? No. No speed dating, no laying away. So give us just a quick. We're not gonna. We're gonna do a whole speed. It really is a phenomenon now. If you think about it, everyone dates online. Most people are Dating online, or they're dating through, like, fixing up through a friend. This is a way that you can really meet people. Like, you meet 20. How many guys did you meet in an hour?

20.

20 in an hour.

I feel like there was 15. I have no idea. I was a little drunk.

She was a little drunk. Oops. My fault. So 20 guys an hour. When do you ever meet 20 people in an hour, face to face? And then you're done. Like an hour, you can be home for dinner. And I think speed dating is a great concept. It's been around for a long time, and so we thought we'd try it out. And I did it years ago, and I did meet actually cute couple, cute guys. And we're gonna be going into it after. I'm going on Wednesday. You guys just went. And then maybe next Friday we'll talk all about it. Or Thursday. So did you meet anything you want to impart about it? Like, would you recommend it? Would you any funny highlight moments? Let's just say that we'll get into the whole. I don't.

I mean, there was this guy who gave me his card and he said he was a reality warrior.

What does that mean? I don't know.

And it said something about self defense. And I was like, if you're a warrior, why are you at speed dating?

You know? Yeah, exactly. If you're a warrior, just go pick up your chick in the woods or something.

That was interesting.

I don't really get it. That's really interesting.

I don't know. I kept on. I feel kind of bad about it, though. I kept on being like, who does speed dating?

You kept saying that to everyone. Oh, my God. That's like everyone who dates online and starts their profile with, I never do this, but, you know, yeah, I'm doing.

This as a joke.

Blah, blah, blah. Did you tell them that you were doing it for the show?

I did because they asked me what I did, and then it became obvious because, like, oh, I work at this podcast.

Did you tell them the name of it?

I think I told a couple of them.

Okay, got it. Sexually. And they were like, you're on my list.

And then there was a form we had so they could sign and we could have videos, and it was, like, sitting on my table.

Oh.

So everybody, like, knew it was fun.

But we had fun drinking. It was one of our intern's birthdays. And we did some water, we did some shots, and I didn't do my shot. And we had watermelon beer, and it was super fun. And then yesterday, that guy that I was talking about that I was hanging out with for a few days, he was in town for a few days and we just hung out. We had some nice time together. And he actually sent me the most beautiful flowers.

They were really gorgeous.

They're like epically beautiful flowers. I'm so. I'm so blown away. When was the time a guy sent me flowers? I cannot remember. And it's been way too long. And I went and I actually texted him to thank him. And I'm like, you know what? If a guy sends you flowers, it's time to call him. You pick up the phone and you call and thank. I think. I think maybe I'm old school. Maybe I'm old school. I'm like. So I called him and I was like, they're so beautiful. He's like, were they hydrangeas? And I guess they were. They're all purpley and beautiful. And I just thought that was such a night. And I go, I never buy flowers, but I love flowers. He's like, women shouldn't buy themselves flowers. And I thought that was sweet. Am I a romantic? I love flowers.

Do you love flowers?

You might not love flowers yet. And it's true. And I always want to buy flowers. I'm like, oh, they're expensive and do I want to buy them for myself? I'm going home for the store again with my own flowers and my own, you know, TV dinner. That's my life. No, but so I thought it was very nice of him. I thought that was like an old school nice guy send you flowers. So I like him. He's cool. Yeah, whatever. Okay. And then also I have to tell you. So, okay, we had a show a few weeks ago with a woman named Susan Bratton and Tim Bratton on the show, and they were talking about expanded orgasm practice where the man learns to Ohm. Did they call it om too? Yeah, they call it om, where you're like, oh, mean. The clitoris, if you didn't know, is broken into all these quadrants. So not only is it like this little thing you gotta find, but there's like parts of the clitoris and there's this practice that they practice that it's called expanded orgasm. Or some people call it oming, where they massage the clitoris and it's very like you and you take women to another place of orgasm and you really. The man, their energy is shared and it just. You have like longer, stronger, intenser orgasms. Would you. Would you say that's what you got from that. So anyway, her husband. I know this is going to sound kind of freaky, but he's really good at. He's really good at oming. And she's like, they have some kind of arrangement. And she's like, he wants to ohm you. He would om you. Like, he would go down. Like, it's not sexual. We don't make out. We don't do anything. Like, I think I'm probably naked or my pants are down. And then he's massaging my clitoris. But it's literally for this practice that I've been hearing about for years that I kind of feel like I should do. But he emailed me again. He's like, do you want to do it? And I'm still nervous. Well, here's another thing. So then another guy today called me about it. So another guy I met when we went to the. Oh, oh, oh. Big guest on the show tomorrow who wrote a book of all about this, Nicole de Don. She wrote a book called Slow Sex. She's gonna be on the show tomorrow. I'm so excited for her to be on the show. She wrote a book about it. And so I was at her book launch and I. It was. He's one of the dudes I met there, and he was like, I'm just learning oming. Like, guys take this practice. And I know what you're thinking. You're like, dudes, of course, that's enough for a class where I get to massage a woman, whatever. But it's really. We're gonna get into it tomorrow because I don't want to butcher with the whole philosophy and what it's about, but it's. I think it's more than just dudes wanting to get touch a woman's clitoris. I think. I think it's fair to say that it's much more like spiritual, emotional, like, evolving your whole sexuality type of practice. So this other guy called me on the phone today because he's emailed me twice and I've ignored him. But let me just preface it by saying I met him at the party and he. And he was cute. I mean, he wasn't not cute, and he was nice. And he was like, I just signed up for oming and I need a partner. Would you want to be my partner? And I was like, sure, call me. Yeah. Because at the moment I'm thinking I should do this, like, for sex with Emily. I just feel like there's a lot of things that I still want to and need to experience for myself. And for my listeners, because I like to experience things and share them with you. So I said yes. But then he's been calling and emailing, and I've been avoiding him. You know how you do that? The things that you, like, don't really want to deal with, you just totally avoid. So I was completely avoiding it. And he's like, I know this is, like my third email to you, and you probably don't want to do it anymore, but I'm trying again. And I was like, okay, here's my number. And then he called me. So we talked on the phone today, and he's like, do you want to just get together to do it, or do you want to talk about it first? I'm like, I think we should talk first because I don't really know you. So he's actually coming in the office on Friday, and we're going to go get a cup of coffee.

I'm so excited.

Are you so excited to meet it? So I figured I'm not committing to anything. And this is just, again, this orgasmic practice where you massage the woman. And I know it sounds freaky and weird, whatever, but I want to learn. I want to have a coffee and see if I would jive with him. And while we're having our lattes, I can see if I could picture him touching my clitoris. And then I can know if I want him to do it or not and move forward with that. So you will. I'll keep you posted.

I'm an oming partner. How do I acquire one?

Honey, I think I've got him coming out of. I got oming partners coming out of the woodwork. I think the oming partner totally. Do you want to. I've got another one. I got two guys that emailed me about oming, and then the third is her husband. Yeah, I think you should be omed.

I think all of our interns should be ohmed. We're gonna figure it out, but tomorrow's show is gonna be epic. And it's a free show Friday, so everyone can listen to it. Tom. Which is gonna be awesome. Okay, today's show. I love the topic, today's show, because I think we can all relate. Do you remember those moments during sex where you just go, awkward? That was awkward. That was weird. The way he stuck his finger in this orifice or that was weird. The way he made that noise. Did he just have an orgasm or die? I can't tell. Just awkward moments. Weird things that happen during sex. We're gonna get into those Awkward moments and how you deal with them. But plus, we're going to be reading the emails. Anyone can email me through my website. So easy you go to Ask Emily or you can email me@feedbackexwithemily.com and some of the topics include cheating via text, having sex with an old high school fling, and dating someone who has been abused. And we're going to get into that in a minute. But first we're going to do some sex in the news.

What's in the news?

What's in the news? Okay, lots of condom stories in the news. Justin Bieber receives a shipment of condoms from Nuvo. Justin Bieber has reportedly received a ship of comments from Nuvo brand condoms. The company is said to send the safe sex prophylactics to the baby singer due to his recent steamy PDA with girlfriend Selena Gomez. They give away over 200,000 condoms a year to prevent teen pregnancy. And they are probably looking for publicity, but also may have Bieber and sema, Selena Gomez's best interest at heart, because the company wants them to. They want them for a campaign for safe sex and for abstinence. So I don't know if Justin Bieber's a. Is he saying he's a virgin? Do you know? I don't know.

I mean, I don't think he's a virgin.

This is like all these teen stars saying they're virgin, so they want them to do a campaign. I think that we need a condom company and we'll do a campaign for you. We're not going to do absence. We're going to be like safe sex, get laid. And these are the good condoms, bad condoms. We're going to do a whole condom review eventually and we're gonna give out. It's actually the only condoms to people. But anyway, I think that we need a condom sponsor. So just call us. That's on our. That's on our list. Right, Kelsey? Okay, so that's Justin Bieber. He got shipments of condoms. That's awesome. I hope that he uses them, doesn't get her pregnant. Although it'd be a good story if he did. But I don't want that for these underage youth. Aren't they underage? How old are they? 18, 16. 17.

How old is Justin Bieber?

He's like a baby.

Should he even be sending 13 or something?

He looks 13.

I think he's probably 16.

And he's not attractive. My nieces are so attractive. To me, he's a baby.

If I was like in Junior High, 17 years old. I was in Junior High.

17. My niece is obsessed.

Yeah, the hair, you know.

Okay. Ad campaign promises sex with a condo. An upstage brokerage firm launched a new ad campaign pulling a raunchy twist on apartment hunting. The new firm is marketing their pads to young professionals who are raking in the dough and are looking for something extra on the side. The spicy tagline for these new developments are, I don't remember his name, but his apartment. It's followed by one of four racy graphics, including one with the outline of a woman's legs and feet in heels lying on top of a man's lower half. The company's website is asking readers to write where they hooked up by emailing in their stories. One woman wrote how she ended up in a beautiful penthouse apartment. I would have killed for that kitchen. So it's just a new sexy cue. Everyone's using sex to sell something right now. It seems sex sells. But for a condo campaign. Okay. Trojan's Trojan Vibrations truck provokes candid discussion about sex. So this is about the Trojan truck that we talked about a few weeks ago that's giving out condoms. As commuters made their way home from work along Avenue A in the East Village, New York on Friday night, a small group of women in purple miniskirts climbed out of a purple and white truck that read Trojan Vibrations on its hood. The Good Vibrations trucks, as it's called, was promoting the new vibrator, the Trojan twist. I love that they're all coming out with vibrator. Sounds like not even.

What is the Trojan twister?

I don't know. It doesn't even say what it is.

Sounds like something we should review.

I think we got to review it. Oh, oh, here it is, the video. You have to go to their Facebook page and if you like it, you get a free four speed vibrating penis ring. A four speed ring. Okay. If you want a vibrating ring, let me just tell you that vibrating rings I think are the best invention because the C ring has been around for a really, really long time and there lots of times they're really for men to help them with premature ejaculation, to help them stay harder, longer. But in recent years there's been this influx of, there's been an influx of vibrating rings. And now you can buy them at Walgreens, like disposable, you can buy like higher end ones. Like if you go to Jimmy Jane, jimmyjane.com who we met with yesterday, they've got a great one that I love and also AdamandEve.com has a ton of them and you can get 50% off one of them if you go to AdamandEve.com and use Coupon code Emily at checkout. You also get three free gifts and a free adult DVD and free shipping. So anyway, these C rings are awesome because. But now the new ones have a little vibrator on the end of it, so it vibrates on the woman's clitoris while it also vibrates on his penis. And a lot of men think that a lot of men love the vibration. Like vibration is not just for women anymore, you know, it's like men like the vibration of the vibration on their penis as well as the women because it hits when they're having intercourse, hits the woman on her clitoris. So they're awesome. So everyone's making them now. And Trojan's got a four speed one. Have you used it one yet, Kelsey?

I have not, but I have one sitting in like my nightstand.

Honey, you gotta whip it out.

I know, I know.

God, no problem. Yesterday.

Actually, I was just looking at it.

Maybe this weekend. It's almost the weekend.

Tomorrow's Friday.

I love them. Okay, this is kind of depressing, but I'm gonna read it anyway. But what a way for it to happen. A woman's hand severed during yacht sex. I don't feel bad for her. She's on a yacht.

She's on a yacht.

She's fine. I feel bad, but no, but I mean, I don't feel bad she was on a yacht, but that kind of sucks. Like you're on a yacht and you're having sex and what could be better? And oh my God. And then she severs her hand. It appears they were engaged in a passionate act in the bedroom where at some stage the sink broke. So she was doing the whole leaning on the sink on the boat thing and the sink broke and severed her hands.

I wonder how long it'll be take her to have sex again.

I don't know. After six hour operation, it was ten years of therapy. Exactly. Like therapy. Like, oh my God, don't have sex in the bathroom. And that would just suck if you were having sex on a yacht. Your whole day ruined. Like, what if it was like a really sunny, beautiful day and they're about to go for a ride and then her hand fell off. That sucks. Sucks. Sorry about that. Okay, JLo speaks. I loved myself too much to stay. Apparently that means she was not in a good place in a good relationship. To quote Sex in the City, the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love you, the you you love, well, that's just fabulous. Meaning if we all love ourselves, you have to love yourself before someone else can love you. I always say that. That's really true. If you don't love yourself and you're like, I'm fat, I'm lazy, I'm this, I'm not good at this, I'm not good at that, that's what you're gonna be projecting onto the world. But if you're like, I love myself for all my goodness and all my flaws and just I really, truly, truly love myself. And it takes a long time to get there to a place where you love yourself. Because there's a lot of times you go through self loathing and hating yourself. I don't know if you go through that, but a lot of people do. But if you just love yourself, that's when you get, that's when you can find, I think, a partner when you're in a good place. So Jlo anyway, is saying she's all about that now. She opened up to Vanity Fair about her split with Marc Anthony and explains how she wasn't going to settle for anything less than she knew that she deserved. It's not that I don't love myself before. Sometimes we don't realize that we are compromising ourselves to understand that a person is not good for you or that the person is not treating you in the right way or that he is not doing the right thing for himself. If I stay that I'm not doing the right thing for me. I love myself enough to walk away from that now. Sometimes it doesn't work and that's sad. But I remain an eternal optimist about love. I believe in love. So he was treating her badly is what she's trying to say. Mark Anthony obviously was not treating her very well. Right, that's what we think. I haven't heard, I don't know. I hear that he's, I, I, you've heard every, both sides of the story. But at least she's going back to love and probably having lots of sex right now. If you were JLo, newly single, like hot career on American Idol or whatever she's doing. She looks good.

She's like, yeah, she does look good.

She's like out there like doing stuff. Get some. She's gotta get some. I'm sure she has no problem, but they got the kids now and all that stuff to deal with, so whatever, she'll be fine. Okay, let's get in some emails. Oh, first the poll.

New poll.

Well, I have the. I don't have the new poll, but I have the results for the last poll that was up. This is what we asked. We asked, what is the sexiest city in America?

The answer, the choices were Las Vegas, San Francisco, New York, and Miami. Sexiest city. What do you think? This is surprising. The one that came in. The one that came in the lowest. The one that came in last for sexiest Las Vegas. 13%. Really? Did you kind of associate Las Vegas with, like, with. With just sexiness, but it's also kind of cheesiness, so it's also kind of like crazy crazy. You're running around, you're getting drunk or whatever. I don't know if it's, like, sexy, but they. 13% of people said Las Vegas. 13% of people said San Francisco. It's kind of weird. We're not that sexy. 20% said New York City, and a whopping 47% said Miami. Yeah, that's. I gotta agree. Miami is really hot. It's like always. It's like white sandy beaches. There's models everywhere. It's always warm. There's every restaurant. You can just sit on the beach and watch models, like, walk by and, like, couples and happy people, and it's scantily clad. And, like, then there's, like, techno music and, like, bars playing, like, all day long. Like, on the strip. On the. On the beach. Like, south beach is pretty sexy. So I'm down. That's what our listeners say. 47%. Do we have a new poll up there? We don't, do we? Okay, well, we're gonna have one up, and you're gonna check it out because it's gonna be up soon. All right, let's get in some emails.

What do we got for today?

Okay, Emily, you have convinced me. I drove from Happy Valley State College in Pennsylvania to my home in southwestern Pennsylvania, and for the three hours of being on the road, I listened to all the podcasts that were snippets of each of the shows. To answer your question, hell yeah. It was great for me. Finally got into your website and became a Friends with Benefits member. Because I love your show, and my personal sexuality has been reawakened. My second half of my 50s could be so good for me. Signed, Rob.

Aw, Rob.

I love Rob. He's a new Friends with Benefits member. Thank you, Rob. That is just. That's why I get up every day. That's why I wake up in the morning. Right there, Kelsey. I wake up in the morning because he. His sexuality has been awakened by sex with Emily. And I don't want to, like, go off on a rant here, but I might.

This show has been listened to by millions of people. We've received hundreds of thousands of emails. We've hundreds of thousands of listeners and emails and people who've said the same thing, that by listening to this show, your sex life is actually improved. And because we give you tips every day that you can use, not just like weird tantric movements that you can't really do, but, like, real practical skills for moving forward, I give a lot of advice. And so anyway, the fact that he became a friends benefits member, I love that. And he reawakened himself in his 50s.

Nice.

So perfect. Never too late to be learning about sex. Never, never, never, never. People are in their 50s. It's like 50's like the new 80. Swear to God.

You think?

Yeah, 80s, 50, how does it go? No, but really, swear to God, people of 50, 60s, 70s people are having sex. I mean, they're even saying sexually transmitted diseases have gone up for people over 50 because they're not used to the whole, like, thing. The kind of thing.

The whole. Yeah, birth control.

Birth control, condom. They're like, whatever.

What disease?

What's this little crab crawling on my pubic hair? I don't know, but maybe if they got crabs. I hope they didn't, but they're getting other kinds of diseases, so just everyone should use condoms. Okay.

Hi, Emily.

Thanks for your show. I download every one of your podcasts and listen to them at work. They have a lot to do with how I get through my days and helps me with my relationship. I need advice on how to deal with my boyfriend. We have been together for over two years and we're both very in love with each other. He's a DJ and night, which involves him being around a lot of, let's say, floozy girls. I've recently been sneaking around and looking at his phone messages, and he flirts very heavily with these random girls. I know he makes a lot of new connections to promote his nightclubs, but he does things like ask them to send him pictures.

She's been with him for two years. Okay, I've tried to bring this up without mentioning that I've spied on his phone and he doesn't admit too much of it and always reserves me that the girls from the clubs means nothing to him, which I know they don't, but it obviously bothers me that he sends these girls sexual energy. So Easily and then doesn't have sex with me back home. Do I tell him I looked at his phone and just confront him about it? Thanks for what you do, Addie from Canada. Okay, Addie, this is not good. Listen, he's flirting. He's cheating on you. He's a dj. I don't know if he's cheating on you, but he is a dj. I. From personal experience, not personally, but I have many friends who've dated DJs. And this is just what you know about DJs. It's like dating someone like first year out of law school and they got a job at a law for. Because I'm not, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna stereotype. And they got a job out of law school. You know, like first year law lawyers have to work like, you know, 100 hour weeks and it's crazy. DJs have to flirt with women and stay out till 4 in the morning. And that's part of their whole thing and their whole ego of getting more people to listen to their music. And they flirt and they love it and they love the nightlife. He's a nightlife guy. He's a dj. He's into the nightlife. He wants to be out to 4am every night. And he loves the attention that he's getting from being a dj and it fills his ego. So I don't even know that he's Che have a feeling that if you found multiple texts he's texting with girls, that's just inappropriate because you've been together for over two years. So I would just say yeah, I mean, I guess, honestly, these days everyone looks at everyone's phone. I'm not saying you should look at the phone. I'm saying you should talk to them first. But he lied to you so you could say, you know what? I happen to see your phone and I'm not down with this. You're texting these women what's going on? And he's gonna have a. No, she's just a friend. My friend's friend's girlfriend. I really did.

But I have several friends who have dated several men like this. And seriously, DJs not your best bet. They're into the nightlife and out and women and floozy. Floozy. You called them floozy women. They kind of are. And I'm not saying there's nothing wrong with DJ music. It's when it gets past 2am and then they're out till 4 and they're all out partying and it's just. I don't know. What do you think about DJs? Kelsey?

I love DJs.

You're younger.

Okay, I'm a social manager at my house, so they're. I always talk to them.

But aren't the DJs like, flirty? And couldn't you feel like you could get with them at any time? Yeah. No, because they're the dj, your boyfriend, and these women feel. You feel like you could sleep with them.

I have. Well, they do this thing where they're like, oh, I need to store my equipment in your room. You know.

What I'm doing in the room.

See what I mean? They're great guys. Okay, let me preface this by saying DJ at a party. Would love him to be the one sitting next to me at a dinner party. Love the dj. He's super fun. I'm just saying he's not your settle down with guy. Well, he's not a dj.

What does Menace do? Some dj.

Yeah, he does point exactly. Menace. Sunny J. I'm just not saying all that, but I just think if you're catching flirty text and he's your guy no matter who. What matter he's a DJ or not. But it's not a good thing. Yeah.

They're sending photos.

Why is he asking another woman for a photo? You should never be asking another woman for a photo. There is no, no excuse for that if he's your boyfriend of two years. So I think you got to talk to him and you got to just cop to the fact that you looked at his phone, because that's what. How else are you gonna do it? And he's probably gave a million excuses, but again, I don't think it's healthy. And I know the whole DJ thing, and I know the late night thing. And you love the DJ because the DJs are love. It's like the bartender, my boyfriend, though.

So not a problem.

But, like, the bartenders are similar. Yeah. Again, I have very good friends who are bartenders, and DJs love them to pieces. They have the great personalities. They're out there, but they're also run by their ego. They love the tips, the flirting, the whatever. People love my music, so therefore they love me. And it's an illegal thing. But we did have a hot little bartender last night. We went out for drinks last night to get them all psyched for speed dating. I meant to get you psyched.

And the bartender, because it was Michelle's birthday, bought us drinks.

Yeah, he bought her a drink and then he bought us a whole round of shots.

So nice.

And he's thinking, what shots do we get? It's like a lemon drop.

Some kind of lemon chop dry thing. I made you do my shots.

That was my mistake. I also finished everyone's beer.

I know. Good. So we're gonna get all into speed dating. If you've ever been curious about speed dating, I think next week we're gonna be doing the speed dating show on Thursday or Friday. So we are doing daily shows now except for Wednesday. So hopefully I'll check back. Okay. Hey, Emily and Menace. My name is Manny from London, uk. I love the show and you guys, your and your guys tips are helpful. Indeed. Menace mentioned he started a dubstep program called Wobble Wednesday. Much kudos as living in the birthplace of dubsteps, it's. It's truly insane to see it spread around the world. So dubstep is this music. You know dubstep music? Yeah. Madness is really into it. Okay. He has a quick question, though. Is it ever weird to have sex with a high school friend after years of barely talking? Okay, this is from Manny from the uk. Is it weird? I don't think it's weird. I don't. I would not weird. I could tell you weird sex stuff I've heard. Having sex with an old flame or someone you knew in high school. Not weird. Happens all the time. Happens at the reunion. Happens when you're all home for Thanksgiving break, when you're home for summer break break and you're at home and you sleep with them. I don't think that that is particularly weird at all. Do you?

No.

No. You see him one night, you're all meeting up again, you haven't seen each other since high school. I mean, again, I don't think you should have sex right away and rush into it. But to hang out with a friend from high school that you had a connection with in high school and you never had sex, Maybe now you want to.

What about, like, your high school boyfriend? Is that a little weird?

No, but my high school boyfriend, I told you yesterday I actually would have sex with him.

No.

I hope he doesn't listen. But it was because he was my first. Yeah. Wouldn't that be weird to go back and have sex with your first again?

I would never want to do that.

Right. He's my first guy that I lost my virginity to. Wrote me a message on Facebook yesterday. Random. So anyway. But I don't think it's weird to have sex with a high school friend. Happens all the time. People will hook up all the time from high school because you like. Or there's like the unrequited flame that you never could get in high school. And then you. I have so many friends of stories that people have written it that you like. You see him again five years later and you're both single and it's like finally your time because she was dating the captain of the football team when you were in high school, but now she's free or whatever. So it's just awesome. I don't think it's weird. I'm not gonna label you weird, Manny, as much as you want me to. Not gonna say go for it. Go for the high school fling. Okay. Hey, Emily. I've been listening to your show for about a month now. And I find it very entertaining and informative. Keep up the Good work. I'm 25 and for the last four years or so, I've been somewhat of a man whore. Mostly because it's hard to find a girl who can keep my attention. I finally found a woman who I'm very interested in. But we have still haven't had sex in the last couple months we've been dating. The farthest we've gotten is makeout sessions, fully clothed. Even though she accepted my place many times, it turns out she was in a long distance relationship to a long relationship two years ago with a man who abused her both mentally and physically. When she didn't want to have sex with her, he would force it on her. And understandably, she remains pretty heavily traumatized by that time situation. During a conversation about it, I asked. I asked someone, I asked if she'd ever been turned on by me. And she said no. Ooh. A lot of my gratification comes when I. When someone comes from knowing that I am pleasing them, should I continue being patient? Should I hook up and not tell her? Should I have the same conversation with her? The risk of losing interest. Help. Thanks in advance, Nick from Dallas, Texas. Well, Nick, here's the deal, okay? You've been a man whore. You finally find a woman you're interested in. And how long have you guys. How long did he say he's been together? She's been in a relationship, blah, blah, blah. I think you gotta have a talk with her. It sounds like she's got issues. She sleeps at your house, you make. I'm sure there's heavy petting involved, as my mom always said. Your mom ever say that? Have you ever even heard that?

I have heard that.

Were you heavy petting in the car? Emily, like if I was with a boy, like, yes, mommy was touching my boobies. So anyway, so you've been like probably just going through the motions. She's been skipping over. She, she just told you that she, she didn't find you attractive, didn't, wasn't turned on by you. And it sounds like she was in a pretty abusive relationship. So I wouldn't say you'd hook up and not tell her because that would further abuse her more. That would be dishonest. But I think you should tell her that if she doesn't start to open up sexually, that you're going to need that, that it might not be the right match. Or maybe she needs issues or she needs some therapy. But I really think that you should talk to her about it rather than just going out and sleeping with someone else. Because what is the point of being with someone if you're going to sleep with someone else? You're saying you finally found a woman who you're interested in, but we haven't had sex yet. So I also find that interesting. Here's a woman you're totally interested in, but you have not had sex. Kudos to you for waiting for a while. I think it's great when people wait and don't rush into sex, but you have to know the whole picture, like if the sex is going to be good. I know someone who recently waited three months to have sex with someone they had sex wasn't so good repeatedly. They had said a few times for a few weeks, the relationship's over. So you know, the sex there was like all these issues. So I'm just saying, sounds like there's a lot going on here. You've convinced yourself that she's the one and that yet you're already thinking of cheating on her and you've never had sex with her. So I'd say you have a talk with her, have a heart to heart talk with her, where you're real and you're honest and you come from your place of what you need and you're like not blaming her, not saying you, not you did this and you did that, but just, you know, I'm feeling like maybe there's some stuff going on for you sexually. It really makes me feel good to turn you on and I feel like I'm not doing that. And you could also just ask her point blank, what turns you on, what makes you hot, what can I do to make you feel good, you know, and open up the dialogue there. Because a lot of times you don't know Men learn from their last girlfriends. And unfortunately, that's a really bad place to learn because every single woman is different. So that's why I gotta say that. Anything? You guys got that, Kelsey?

Yeah.

No.

Have you seen Dexter? The show Dexter?

You know me? No. Television.

There's actually a character in this show that sexually abused and she, like, can't even go near having sex. Yeah, like, it's a huge problem.

It's a huge problem. I mean, it's. It says he forced her to have sex. That's basically could be seen as rape. Yeah. And I would say that she needs therapy asap. That's a really good point, Kelsey. Like, I. I didn't. I don't know if I said that enough, but I always say people need therapy. So sometimes I think I say too much. But this woman really, truly needs therapy. Or maybe there's a school counselor or someone she could talk to about. About what happened to her. Because these kind of things that happen to women early on in life, you know, she's in her 20s. Sounds like you're 25. She's in her 20s. They don't go away. People think that time heals wounds, and it's really not time. It's work. It's getting into the wounds. What happened? How did it make me feel? How did it all go down? Reliving it is sometimes really painful, but that's how you release it. And otherwise she'll just be carrying around these issues around. And she's probably developed all these issues around her sexuality and feeling comfortable, which is so I wouldn't let your ego get burned either. You're saying that you feel bad because you're not pleasing her. I'd say she shut down sexually right now and she's unable to be turned on. So that's what I think. That's my story. Okay, Dear Emily, I'm in. Okay, I'll do this one. Okay. Hi, you very beautiful lady. Do you ever do any shows on the topics of exhibitionism? And do you take calls during your show? Thanks, Marcus. Marcus, we do take calls. I meant to give out the phone number. I always forget. You could call in right now. 415-992-7392. We just started taking calls. Okay. Do we show a type of exhibition? Yeah, we do. We do. We did a fantasy fantasy show all about fantasies. And do you know the top fantasies for men and women within their top 10 was exhibition. It was having sex outdoors, having people watch. And we also did a show last Friday, which was Fetish Friday, talking about that and a fantasy show. So I would say check out our shows, but exhibitionism is very common for men and women to want. So it's a top fantasy. Right. Didn't we find that?

Yeah.

We should do a whole show on it and talk about, like, voyeurism.

Voyeurism. We should. Let's write that down. Voyeurism show. Maybe we'll do one just for you, Marcus, because you wrote us in. We appreciate it so much. Thank you. Okay. Hey, Emily. What is the best way to find a friends with benefits? I am a middle. I am middle aged and find the supposedly free dating sites to be frustrating. I am married but separated. We live in the same house. Ooh. For financial reasons. For the time being. Also for the kids sake. I know that eventually it will have to end sometime. My wife hasn't touched me in seven years.

Ah. Not that I want her any longer. Any suggestions? We appreciated Ken from Palo Alto, California. Okay, Ken, you're living with your ex. You're sharing a room. I hope you're not sharing the room anymore. But how do you find a friends with benefits? I'd say they're organic. I mean, I would not recommend going on craigslist. Like missed connections or not missed connections. What's it called? Craigslist casual encounters. You know, you could go on Craigslist casual encounters, but it's always a risk. You could find people who want sex right now and in the moment. But friends with benefits really have to evolve. You really have to find someone that you like and that you're friends with. You become friends, you become acquaintances, and then you become friends. And both of you really don't want a commitment right now. And you're both okay with not having like a no strings attached relationship. It really is a mutually beneficial relationship if it works for both parties. It doesn't always work for both parties because a lot of times one person wants more than the next or you start out thinking you're like, oh, no, we're cool. We're just friends. Benefits. That's cool. You can have sex the way you want and I'll have sex the vibe. And hopefully we'll have sex together at the same time. Want to. And it'll all work out. It doesn't always work out that way. Someone else falls in love, someone wants more. Someone finds someone else outside the relationship. But I would say how you find it is just however you're dating right now. I would recommend dating online, and maybe you'll find someone that way that maybe you're sexually compatible with but you don't see as a long term partner and maybe she'll feel the same way and that could become your friends with benefits. I mean, everyone is meeting online. We just did a poll about this too. Right. Wasn't that the top way people were meeting was online? I think yeah, so. Or through mutual friends. But I think the more honest you are, you know, it looks like you can only do a friends with benefits relationship right now because you're going through a divorce and separation and you're living with your wife. So I would just be honest with people and just say when you go out with them and just be like, you know, I'm looking for something casual now. Or you know, maybe. I think my, my experience with friends with benefits relationships are they just sort of evolve into that. You can't really start out and be like, we're going to be friends with benefits. But a lot of times they just evolve from sleeping together and you both have different agendas or you know, you're, you're not into each other, you don't want a long term thing and you both want to just have sex.

Yeah, the sex is great, but the sex is amazing.

But you don't want, you want them just to shut the hell up when it's over. So good luck to you. I would say date online. I mean, seriously, it is how I go to match.com. i go to OkCupid. I guess I go to. What other sites are people using today? I guess those are the big ones. Right? Plenty of fish And Palo Alto. There's so many people I know single people down there and so a lot of divorcees too. So I would think that a divorce day with kids as well, who's really busy and maybe she's going through something and you guys are both kind of in the same place. Got her kids in her life. You've got your kids in your life and maybe you hook it up that way. How about that? Let's get into some awkward moments. Yay. Yay. Awkward moments during sex. Okay, today's topic is amazing. I'm so excited to talk about it because this is the stuff that happens. There are awkward moments during sex. It just happens. Like weird shit happens and you have to like, you have to get through it. So we're just going to talk about some of the common awkward moments and some suggestions about how to handle them. And here we go. Okay.

Awkward.

No, awkward moment number one, Poor timing. I think we're referring to premature ejaculation here.

Oh yeah.

When this happens he's more embarrassed than you are. Instead of berating him or acting hurt, ask for a rain check. You may also remind him about women sometimes don't climax a lot despite the heat of the moment. Bottom line, acknowledge the awkward moment and move on. This is no time for shame or blame. The last thing you want to do when a man ejaculates sooner than you'd like him to is to make him feel bad about it. It's awkward, it's weird. He is blamed. He, believe me, he feels he is making himself feel worse than you could even make him feel like the two of you. It would be. He's already berating himself and feels like lesser of a man. You got to do the best part to be like, honey, it's okay. Happens to all of us sometimes. Like, women don't orgasm. Sometimes men orgasm too quickly. And it just happens. And I think you just gotta brush it off and be like, I don't care. It was awesome. Felt really good. Done. Move on. If you make a big deal out of it, then it becomes a big deal. And then I think it actually helps perpetuate men who are premature ejaculators. I think premature ejaculators, a lot of it is psychological. I mean, there's the physical aspects to it and there's a lot of stuff we've talked ad nauseam on the show about what you could do to stop that. But there are just times when you just do it and you premature ejaculate. And the more you make him feel bad about it or he makes himself feel bad about it, it's a lot of it is mental. And he'll start to every time get nervous like, oh, my God, am I gonna prejackulate it? Am I gonna prejudiculate? Oh, there go. I prejackulated.

So what should he do to make it better? Then they're always like, oh, my God, I think you can do.

Kegel exercises are amazing. I Kegel exercises for men and women. I have a app on the iPhone called Kegel Camp. It's for your iPad, your iPhone. And I just got another email about to say people are. It's changing their lives. It helps men with people. You. You exercise your. Your PC muscles, which are those p. Stopping muscles. And you stop and start the flow where you stop and start the flow of urine. And you practice doing contractions and releasing, contracting and releasing. You can also use a penis ring. That can help sometimes. You could also read a book. There's a book that's amazing called the multi orgasmic Man. And it's the best book for men who are suffering from premature ejaculation. Okay. Okay, how's that? Awkward moment number two. Someone passes gas. This happened out in Sex and the City. We were that. Do you remember that episode when Carrie, she. She was with Mr. Big and she had. She farted and she. He didn't. She just like, all of a sudden didn't hear from him for three days and she was like, oh, my God, I farted. It's over that.

Yeah, I do. It wasn't too bad, though. Like, I feel like it wasn't too bad. She made a big deal out of.

Well, why did she freak out? I just think it happens and you laugh it off. You just. It's not a big deal. And.

Or a woman who is going to be like, grossed out because everybody farts and everybody poops. Isn't there a book Everybody poops for like 2 year olds? It teaches them about poop. There's a book called Everybody Poops. Everybody does. They do. You're saying you don't and your girlfriend says she doesn't. She does. So according to expert, the average person passes gas about 15 to 25 times per day. And the friction of sexual intercourse can sometimes increase the gas. Next time it occurs, just don't let it kill the mood. Instead, shrug your shoulders, apologize for any smell, and change the subject. Or just laugh at all. Yeah.

Have a sense of humor about it.

Don't make a big deal and don't judge. We all do it. Has that ever happened to you?

I actually had a guy who farted during sex once.

Happens. What happened? Did you, like, done with him or. No, it was. No. You dumped him. I'm telling you not to dump. I dumped him for like. That wasn't the only reason that you dumped him.

No, it was.

It didn't happen. I'm saying that it's not a big deal and she's dumping guys for farting. It didn't happen. No, it didn't. It was.

It was like a. He was just not good at all.

I mean, this. Come on, let's be honest. We're down there, we're doing stuff. It gets all wetted and gooey and you're gonna.

Queefing.

Queefing. We've got queefing on here, actually. We're gonna get to that in a minute. Right? Awkward moment. Queefing. Let's just get into it. Almost everyone has experienced infamous trapped air sensation in her vagina, which can lead to noises that sound a lot like gas.

If so it's common. And when it happens to you, just own up to your air and your vagina and giggle about it. In the grand scheme of things, it's not that big of a deal. And a loving and accepting relationship can weather it all. Dudes. Not a big deal happens to us because we're wet and there's air trapped in there. And we're wet because you turned us on and your penis is inside of us or your fingers and they're moving inside and out and it makes traps, air bubbles. And we make a noise. Big deal. You should be psychedelic. You should be psyched. We're wet, we're da da da. We make a queef. Big deal. I don't want to hear about it anymore. Tired of it. Tired of who cares? I'm tired. Who should care about that? Okay, awkward number three. He suggests something you're uncomfortable with. Just because you love each other doesn't mean you'll always have the same idea. About what? About what you want in bed. When he suggests something that you're comfortable with, it can be a real buzz kill. When something that you're uncomfortable with, it can be a buzzkill. Instead of shutting him down, try for common ground. So here's the thing. He says, I want you to dress up like Little Mermaid. You're not down with Little Mermaid. That doesn't turn you on. You don't like the webbed feet or whatever. If possible, see if you can negotiate the fantasy so it includes elements that turn you on too. Perhaps you've always had a fantasy. You're like, you know what? I kind of like the schoolgirl thing. I've got this great little plaid skirt and I've got these boots, and that turns me on. So you can. Could we. Could we maybe do that? You know, maybe he's into something else. You need to negotiate the fantasies or whatever reason to. I'm talking about costumes. Maybe he's got a fantasy of sex outside. And you could suggest how we do sex. Start with sex on our back porch in your fenced in area or whatever. Like, you can start. Doesn't have to mean that. It doesn't mean that's a deal breaker. It doesn't mean that, like, oh, his fantasy is not like my fantasy. And oh, my God, we're gonna fall apart. Negotiate, right? Be like, not down with that. But I might be down with this. All relationships are negotiation. If his fantasy is going to areas that make you uncomfortable, you may need to nibble his ear and say, you know, hon, you got a great Imagination. Could we use it to find something that turns me on too? That way you're passing it. You're praising him as well as encouraging him instead of shutting him down. Because so many times men just feel completely shut down during sex, and it's really hard to build them back up. I mean, men are fragile creatures. And they always. They really do, many of them, and women, course. But they want to please. They want to do the right things, and they really want to talk to you about what your fantasies are. And they really have fantasies that they want to act out on you. And so they finally got up the courage to talk to you about it. And even if it's something you're not done with, you don't want to. You don't want to bust his balls. That's his fantasy. Maybe you do. But no, you don't want to make him feel bad and insecure about it. So just, like, let. You know, you can just say, honey, let's try to find something together. I think that's a great solution rather than making him be like, you're so disgusting. You're so dirty. I'd never want to do that. Oh, my God, what's wrong with you? Like, that's his biggest nightmare, and that's going be to. That's gonna wreak havoc on him. Yeah.

What happens when they just go for it, though?

You know, when they just go for it? I think that's inappropriate. I always say that every time. Every sexual act that you want to try with your partner, like, no matter what it is, you should always start slow. So let's say you want to spank your partner.

Yeah.

Start with a light tap. See how she reacts or he reacts. Yeah. Not the. Like, don't just wham, wham, wham. Or if you want to, like, play with her nipples, like, start with, like, a nice little pinch rather than, like, getting out the clothespins and put pinching.

You know, slapping of the cheek, you.

Should just really start slow, and that's what you should do. And I just would say you got to gauge your reaction. You got. Women are supremely good at reading people. Men have a. Men are. Men could do it too, but men, it's more of a learned skill. So you really. During sex, One of the most important things you have to do during any kind of sex you're having is you have to pay attention to her body movement. So how. To her movements. Like, how did she react when you did that thing? Like. Like, if she was. Like I said, ouch, you know, might back off. But don't just force something on her. That's your question? Yes. Awkward moment, number four. Accidental injury. Okay, think about it. Accidental biting, scratching, a jagged toenail that cuts the skin, a pulled muscle, a leg cramp. Have you ever had any of these?

Yeah.

Like what? Like what? Well, that.

Or when they're, like, on top of you and they're, like, crushing something or, like, your arm, or, like, you're, like, trying to pull it out and you can't.

Stuff like that. It's always so weird. You're like, ouch. Oh, you're in the middle of this hot moment. You're like, ow, ooh, ouch.

My leg will cramp up.

Right. So you just laugh. Right. You don't make a big deal out of it. It's not like, unless it hurts, and then you gotta get up and take care of it.

Yeah.

If you really hurt and there's blood, like, get up and take care of it. But, you know, not a big deal. What about. I just passed over this one. But what about. Did you ever have a guy suggest something that you were uncomfortable with?

They usually just go for it.

That's why you asked the question. That's why. Okay.

Yeah, no, it's.

I wouldn't. I wouldn't say that guys should just go for it. I'd say, like. Okay, let's say you're interested in anal. Even, like, start with your pinky or, like, start just kissing that area or touching that area.

Don't try and go for that.

Yeah, that is. Don't just stick your penis there. If you want to try anal. That is a great point. You don't. You start slowly. You start with your hands. See if she's turned on by that area. She might not be. That's is an area where men go for it, isn't it? Yeah, don't go for it with the anus right away. I'm telling you, don't do that. Okay, number five, Awkward moment, number five. These are the awkward moments during sex. Okay. Someone utters the wrong name.

Never happened to me.

The brain is an amazing organ. Especially during sex. You're less apt to think before speaking. If it happens to you, his or your feelings are bound to be hurt. But remind him of how much you love him. Just be like, sorry, babe. Sorry. I don't know where the name Keith came from. He was my guy at the gym. That. I don't know what you say. Who's Keith? I don't even know. I just. See, who's Keith? I just made up Keith. But I think that, yeah, people do utter the wrong name charges. Like I have people. My mom and my stepdad have been together 30 years and sometimes she'll call. He'll call him by her ex. His ex wife of 30 years ago. Like, names just slip out. He'll be like, Doris. And she's like, I'm not Doris. Like, can you like play it off?

Like, oh, it's like a niece.

Yeah, it's a pet name. It's my ex boyfriend. It would be a great pet name for you, my ex boyfriend's name. But these are just some funny things that do happen, happened during sex. So yeah, I've called, used to call my. My dad got married so many times that I used to call his third wife by the second wife's name. That pissed her off. Yeah, but that wasn't during sex. But you do it sometimes because you're used to someone in a certain situation. So you're used to having sex with this last person. And so in your mind, the way it's wired, you're like, oh, I. Yeah, sorry, Bobby.

Oh, you're not.

I don't think I ever really say anybody's name during sex.

Really?

Like I'm never like shouting their name.

That's good, that's good.

Sometimes it's better not to. Or just say honey and baby. Really just say baby and honey. Listen, just use pet names and then you don't have to worry about calling someone by the wrong name.

Just not babe, right?

I don't like babe. I like baby. If a guy calls me babe, I'm kind of like, but baby is hot. I don't know why, but some people love babe. I'm not saying some people love baby. Bowl. Okay, awkward moment number six. Your kids walk in. It's the moment every parent dreads. You thought your 5 year old was sound asleep, but then she comes in asking for a drink of water and catches you in the act. Sometimes children find sex confusing and think couples are fighting or hurting each other. If you find yourself in this precarious situation, it's best address your child's concerns immediately. You can say, sometimes mommy and daddy are very affectionate with each other. And that is what. And what she saw is what normal married people do. Then invest in a lock on your door. You should always lock your door.

Teenage children, oh my God, I gotta deal with that.

When a teenage child walks in, that's really embarrassing. Hopefully they know better as teenagers. Why did you walk in on your parents when you were a teenager?

No, I didn't But I had friends who did.

Oh, my God. God. Teenagers should know that then that don't even go in the bedroom. But I guess why it's hard for parents to lock the door with the babies is because, like, they want their kids to be able to come in the room. So just knock. I walked into my mom having sex once with her. With my stepdad, her second husband. And it was so awkward. He answered the door naked. It was weird. But there's a lot of people who have stories about remembering seeing their parents having sex that's like, scarred them or not even scarred them, but just. Even. Just like, that was the first time they had any. They had seen sex. Yeah, that's how it happens sometimes. Okay, awkward moment number nine. When you get your period. Happens to all of us. Happens to all women. Once a month for a week. A week or less, we're gonna have our period. And so we did a show on this. I think we did a whole show on this. But menstruation can be uncomfortable topic for a lot of people. So it's important to talk to your partner in case he or she is not comfortable having sex during your menstrual cycle, which I found lot. Lots of. Some guys are and some guys aren't. Some guys are like, I don't care. What's a little blood? We'll get in the shower after. Put a towel down. You should always put a towel down. Women, actually, some women are a lot more turned on during when they have their period, so they actually want to have sex. And some are just, I don't want anything in there. I've got cramps. It hurts. And some guys don't want. Are uncomfortable with the sight of blood. They just are. And I know that there are both kinds of men out there who are like, bring it. Messy sex is hot sex. I mean, seriously, there are guys who are like, I don't care. Put a towel down. We'll get bloody. And there's some guys who are like, oh, my God, if I have blood on my penis, I'm gonna throw up. So it's really. That's true. There are some things you can do if you still want to get it on, but you're worried about the mess. You can try these soft cups. They're similar to menstrual cups but shaped like a diaphragm, so it sits further up in your vagina over the cervix to collect flow while still allowing for penetration. The only downside is that these sometimes can be felt during sex, and women Find them uncomfortable and messy to use. So there are some other things you could do. You could also try having sex in the shower or the bathtub. But what's been your experience with men? Have you found that they've been okay with period sex or not? Or don't you think it's a mix? What do you think?

Yeah, I think that guys are pretty cool about it now. I don't know. I used to never tell guys when I was on my period. I just, like, would, like, avoid the subject. Now I feel like everyone's pretty cool about.

Yeah, you're like, oh, by the way, it's that time of month. Yeah, but it's never fun. It's never like, no, I'm so like, yeah, guess what? You always want to hook up. And then you're like, oh, I've got my period.

Kind of going for the pants.

And you're like, exactly. It's kind of annoying about that. I know. Okay, so I think just the parrot thing, you gotta have the talk and just see if you might be down with it. He might not be. You gotta just discuss it. Discuss it, discuss it, discuss it. Okay, Weird noises. Awkward moment. Number 10 weird noises. What's the weirdest noise you've ever heard? Okay, so my intern told me a story today about someone she knows. Who? He. She was with someone, and he made a noise, I think, when he orgasmed like a baby seal.

How does that sound?

How does that sound?

I don't know, but that would suck. That would kind of be a buzzkill. A baby seal or maybe a whale. I don't know what they sounded like. So whatever it is sound, but just ignore it and don't make him self conscious. Because the thing about sex is. So maybe he sounded like a baby seal, but if the sex was good and it might have made you feel awkward, people make. I think it shows that they're letting themselves go and they're losing their inhibitions and they're letting go. And maybe they sound like a baby seal. So if you can hang with that and not judge him, that's fine. It might freak you out and make you unattracted to him, but hopefully you can just let it go with that. What's his noise? Have you had weird noises?

I've just had weird things being said.

Like what?

I think I was telling you before on my online dating man, the continuous, like, babe.

Oh, he prematurely babed you?

Yeah, he just said it, like 50 times during sex. And then there was, like, one big long babe at the end.

Really? When he was. Oh my God, that's hilarious. I had a guy or what about if their guy makes no noise? I had this guy that I did not know if he orgasm or not because this is what he did. So we'd be having sex. I'm like, you know, you can tell when a guy's about to organize on the other. Everything is quicker and faster, intense. And he was like, he was like.

Like, it was almost like. I like, I'm like, did you just like. Could you even hear that? Like a poof.

It's terrible when they make no.

Why make no noise? I think that that's the more repressed male and female. I don't know. I don't want to judge again. But sex is about letting go. If you want to have the best sex of your life, you have to be able to let go. To have those amazing orgasms, you have to be able to lose yourself in sex and not be so self conscious. But also, I think to men's credit, a lot of men learn to orgasm in their bedroom when they're 14 years old and they're afraid of their parents walking in. So they don't want to make a loud noise.

Yeah, makes sense.

So they're kind of quiet. But I think the older you get and you're having sex, it just feels really good to breathe and to like express yourself and let yourself go, even if you sound like a baby seal. Okay, that's all we got time for today, everyone. We've got some more of these. We love these awkward sex moments.

Are we gonna continue tomorrow? Awkward sex week tomorrow.

Tomorrow's a big day. Tomorrow's free Sex Friday. You get to hear Nicole Day Doane and her book Slow Sex. It's all about amazing orgasms for women. And I'm thrilled to have her on the show. So thanks everyone for listening. Thanks so much, Kelsey and Alicia for everything. I appreciate it. Thanks everyone for listening to the. Email me@feedbackexwithemily.com was it good for you? Oh, was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com there's one overlooked mineral.

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