Fast Track To O-Town

Okay, so let's talk about one of my favorite ways to upgrade your solo or partner play. It is the Hera by Jeju. It's a sleek, powerful Rabbit vibrator that's basically the best of both worlds. It's incredible for internal stimulation and those rumbly, mind blowing clitor vibes Jaejoo is known for. Here's what I love. The external ears are powered by the same motor as the Mimi which you've heard me rave about before. I love the Mimi. And the internal arm delivers deep, deep, satisfying vibrations right to your G spot. It's super soft, ultra quiet and it moves with your body. So whether you're using it solo or with a partner, it has this feel like it's made just for you. And honestly, it's kind of a no brainer. Everyone loves the hera and right now you can get 20% off the hera using code emily20@sexwithemily.com hera that's emily20 for 20 off at sexwithemily.com h e r A so if you've been looking for a toy that delivers powerful blended orgasm with thoughtful design and serious quality, this is it. So go treat yourself. You deserve it. Hey everyone. Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Tonight we're answering your questions. A listener doesn't know how to tell her partner what she wants in bed. Another has trouble orgasming with her guy and also troubles with oral sex. What if you just don't like receiving it? All this and more on Sex with Emily. Thanks for listening. Hey everyone, it's my weekly Sibian Update. We're getting to know each other a lot better now and I just want to tell you about our experiences. In fact, I'll be naming it in a couple weeks. That's how close we're getting. And if you check out my Instagram Sex with Emily. I've got some funny stories about it on there. But you might think you know all about the Sibian or you might not have any idea what I'm talking about. But forget what you've ever heard about the Sibian because it's so different from any other sex product you've seen before. It's not even, it's not a sex toy. But basically the Sibian is a full on sexual experience and it's one that you can enjoy solo or share it with a partner. It's the only sex product has a unique mountable design. You know you can like mount it like simulating cowgirl position like when you're on Woman on top Also the cool thing about the Sebine is that each woman has the power to customize their own experience on it. So every time you use it or I use it, you can make it work for you. So I've been having orgasms I didn't even know existed. And you know that this is like my job. And the fact that this Sibian has been able to provide me with experiences that I can have on the Sibian and then translate to my partner when I'm having sex is mind blowing. So the thing about the Sibian is that it has 11 different attachments by the way, that you can buy along with it. There's like one that's like a penis and there's ones for your clitoris. There's even one shaped like a finger. Whatever you're into. Also women who have trouble reaching orgasm during intercourse. And I know there's a lot of you out there because I think you email me every day. The Sibian could be that secret to unlocking your orgasmic potential. Repeated rides on the Sibian train your body to orgasm, making it easier to experience multiple orgasms and increase sexual response with your partner. Like I said, you learn something, you transfer it to sex with your partner. And because of the design of the Sibian, which is really unique, once you learn to orgasm with it, like I said, you transfer that to your partner. It's just really. Or you can just use it alone, even if you don't have a partner. This is what I'm saying. It's a multi use partner product. Oh, and it's so hot for your partner to watch you play with it, even if he doesn't, you know, actually get on it with you. Or she, they can just watch you and it's like foreplay, it's hot. So here's a test testimonial from the Sibian website that says it all. My husband and I have been married for 17 years. I always thought our sex life was okay, but I didn't get too excited about it. My first time on the Sibian, I can hardly describe the feeling I had when my body just exploded. It was just unreal what happened to me. I soon realized at the age of 38 with Sibian, I had my first orgasm ever. I've now started having orgasm orgasms while making love to my husband. I have Sibian to thanks. Thank you Shelly from Texas. So to check out what other customers have to say and to order your own life changing Sibian today, visit sibian.com that's S Y-B-I-A N dot com. Oh. Use code EMILY75 and you get 75 off your first order. That's sibian.com.

Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our secret institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them in a bygone day. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standards.

Oh, my. Do women know about shrinkage? Isn't it common knowledge?

What do you mean? Like laundry? It shrinks.

Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me?

Oh, my God, I feel so good.

Being bad feels pretty good, but, you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex with relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com you can check out the website. Obviously, sign up for our mailing list because we've got lots of exciting things coming up to tell you. And just be post every day. Blogs, videos. All these things that you love about the show you can also find on the site if you want to read, you want to watch all that stuff. And I'm here with Anderson. Welcome back, my love.

Hey, Em, how are you?

So good to see you.

Good to see you.

How was your trip?

Ciao, ciao. It was good. It was fantastic.

Anderson was a Europe adventure. European adventure.

Never been to Europe before, so I got a lot done.

Wow, you did. Your pictures were amazing. Check them out on Instagram.

Churches, old cobblestone. Enough with the cobblestone already. Can we pave some of these streets?

Stilettos, I'll tell you that.

Oh, it's hard skateboarding, too. It's difficult. Yeah.

Yeah, it is. But it sounds like you had a good trip.

I had a great trip.

Yeah. I really was so thrilled to have Stanley the dog.

Yeah. You had my dog for two and a half weeks, and I know that you. Two and a half weeks, you were contemplating napping him, Stealing him.

I was gonna dog nap him.

Making him your own. And I think you were about 80% kidding.

80% kidding? Yeah. Maybe 80% kidding. That's generous. No, I really. I love your dog. Like Stanley, if you check out my Instagram sex family, I posted, like, those people who only post their dog. I'm like, ugh, I didn't do it. A few posts. And we also put him in some hilarious videos. We did. But no, your dog is a Special. I was gonna say a special human. A special dog. He's so loving and sweet, and he's an older dog. He'. Chihuahua.

How do you Chihuahua, like, mix? Yeah, he's like a terrier Chihuahua.

And I really just kind of became obsessed with him. I took him everywhere I went. We walked, we hiked. I spooned him.

Don't say he's an older dog. I don't like that.

He is.

Oh, he acts like a puppy a lot.

He acts like a puppy, and he's a rescue, and he's the sweetest little pup that I literally spooned him at night, which. Not. That doesn't bother you, but do you sleep with him?

I do, but my wife steals them, so she usually cuddles them.

She hugs him, too.

And then, yeah, she goes to work, and I wake up and I get him. But we have three dogs, so they're all in the bed.

See, that's why I thought you wouldn't care giving him to me because you have three.

No, I would absolutely care because he's my dog. He's my. And then the wife came. She came in with her own dog, and then the two of us got a dog together. Right.

Go with that.

So Stanley is my dog.

Okay. But I love him. But then, you know, the sad thing is I just gave him back to you. I gave him back Yesterday. I woke up in the middle night, and I was like, where's Stanley?

Stanley withdrawal.

I. I have Stanley withdrawal. Like, I'm. Anyway, thank you.

I have a tattoo of his paw on my. On my arm.

That's his paw.

Yeah. He's my dog.

I get it.

And you know what? Everyone loves their dog, and. But I. I hear multiple people say that Stanley is a little special dog. Stanley's a little bit different.

He's a little different. And everywhere I took him, he was like, oh, my God, this dog's so sweet. Like, So I took it in the Movember. You know, Movember the mustache.

I saw the picture.

Yeah, they loved him. They were. He's running around.

You could call him a service dog. And I don't think anyone really get asked twice.

I didn't even have to use the service thing.

People wouldn't even think, like, this isn't a service dog, is it?

He could just be here and play. So thank you for that. That changed my life.

You should. And rescue a dog now. Go ahead.

I did once, but I want to rescue. I need to get an older dog. The other thing that's really exciting is that I did text you this when you were away. But our 10 year anniversary show at the Hollywood Improv is happening December 6th at 7:30 at the Hollywood Improv. Doors open at 7 and. Okay, I've never done a live event. I've taught workshops.

What in the world are you talking about?

10 years?

Yeah, you're a live show notes speaker.

At all these masters Never sex family live. 10 years. And so it's really been kind of nostalgic going like someone wrote like a decade and I was like, oh my God, it's a decade. Like that's a lot.

And I've been doing this a decade.

Yeah, I've got. I know, but when they said it as a decade, it just seemed longer. But the point is that I'm doing a live show and I'm really. And also I'm not a big person who has parties. Like I only have birthday parties. Like, what if no one shows up?

Oh yeah, I'm with you. I'm with you.

But like, I hope that all my fans, you guys will show up. I'm giving you time now. I'm giving you enough time to come if you need to come to la. I mean if you want to come to la, please come. We're going to have any. Anderson will be there, Magnus will be there, Dr. Drew will be there on stage. We have lots of fun things happening that night, special treats planned for you. It's a live show. Also some retrospective. But I want to hear from you guys. What is your favorite memory? So all my listeners, like, what was your favorite sex family moment over the last 10 years? Even you've been listening for a few months. Just what was a moment? A sex tip, A guest, Someone that you. Something that you love. Just let me know because we're putting together real. I just want to hear from you. Okay, so email me feedbackexthelmy.com and then tickets you can buy on the website. I think we'll have a link there. Are you going to Hollywood Improv? How does that work?

You should probably have a link on your website.

I think there's a link there.

I think you should have one. Yeah, yeah, you'll have one by the time this posts.

All right, totes.

Go to sexwithemily.com and you'll see a link and it'll take you right there.

Absolutely. So come do that people.

What if it gets cost?

Oh, so thank you. $15 pre sale, $20 at the door.

And then there'll be like a $2.50 cover charge. Just to let you guys know. They do Like, a little processing thing over there at the end of the.

Okay. But it's worth it.

Yeah, yeah, it's totally worth it.

Oh, and also, yeah, it says, go to sexdentally.com and click the event flyer. Sweet.

Yeah. The Hollywood Improv is like. It's a legendary.

It is a legendary front of the.

Bricked wall on the stage up there at Hollywood Improv. So, I mean, you get to see Emily and you get to see, like, a. If you've never had an excuse to go see the Hollywood Improv, now, I mean, everyone who you could ever think of that's a great comedian has pretty much gone through that in the last 30 years.

Right? You come there, like, exactly. We'll have some drinks before it's a party. We're gonna have drinks, we're gonna parties, we're gonna food. It's gonna be a good time.

And Mike will be there.

Mike Carano will be there. Drew, Mike, Catherine will be there. Who else is coming? Yeah. So then it's like, people. Yeah, it's true. You come here, you see the Hollywood sign, you go to the hollyw. That's all you gotta do. So I will see you there. And yeah, also Sibian, we're doing the giveaway. We're giving one away. And the first tier of the contest was. People had to name it.

You said Sibian. We're cont. It sounded like you said the other word because you stopped yourself before you said contest.

So I said, I know sometimes I cut myself off. I make up words. But also, check out my Instagram, because we have 10 semifinalists. We had the submit names that's going on, this whole process.

You can tell me.

Not right now.

Damn it.

You gotta check out the Instagram.

Are they all men's names?

Some. They're really good.

Please tell me Stanley's not one of the names.

Well, I. I voted for Stanley. No, I'm sorry. I don't want to. Disgusting, dude. I'm sorry.

You're not riding my dog.

I don't want to ride your dog. No, I won't. Okay, so that's the deal. I'm excited. We're gonna have T shirts. So for years, I've been talking about these sex lemming T shirts I want to make. We're gonna be selling them. It's gonna be a good time. So I hope to see you all there, because whenever I meet listeners of the show, people are like, oh, wow. Hi. Are you. I'm so happy. Like, it makes my life to meet you all in person. And we'll have a good time and I'll hang out. I'm not gonna be like, oh, can't talk. Like, we're gonna hang. We're gonna have drinks and it'll be fine.

You should totally, big time. Everybody just go out the back door. Leaving a limo.

So not like that. I'm always like, you listen. Whenever I meet a listener. How do you know about it?

Right?

Because we're like in this box. Like, I don't know. Yeah, I mean, I know people listen.

You forget that people listen. Yeah, you're right. Like, you do the show and the microphones, you forget that there's an audience out there at all sometimes. Which actually, you know what makes it for a good show? I think people that are always thinking about the audience. I don't think those are very good shows.

Right. I never. I mean, I think about you all, but I'm like, I'm just talking to you.

Right?

Because I'd be freaked out. Like, oh, my God, a million people are listening now.

I'm thinking about all the people listening. I'm freaking out, Emily. Freaking out.

I'm turning my mic on, trying to be focused.

You're on your own.

Okay. Sex in the news is because it's your favorite thing. We're going to start there.

Sweet.

A doctor claims that blow jobs are good for women's health and even help fight depression. What?

Male doctors.

I need male doctors. Exactly. According to recent researched research carried out by the State University of New York, oral sex is said to be healthy, feel good remedy. Said to be healthy, feel good remedy. Scientists, they use that word to make it seem legit, have discovered that there are mood improving chemicals in male semen which can be very beneficial for women's health, according to female semen.

Where is this study coming from?

High Times State University of New York. The sex lives of 300 women were examined. And it looks as though those that ventured south sleep better, have having better moods and generally worry less.

Maybe those are just like carefree related.

Maybe their partner's just really happy.

Maybe to begin with, they're just happy and that's why they're throwing out the BJ's left and right.

You know, seriously, what's the control factor here? We don't know. Things such as spermatozoa, estrone and oxytocin all help increase mood to positive levels. Melatonin, serotonin work as antidepressants too. How many freaking blowjobs do you have to get to get like a dose of Pozac but still Semen, though, there's benefits, too.

Are they gonna start prescribing, like, semen tablets?

Yeah, you're gonna go to your psychiatrist. Like, doctor, I've gotta bed. I can't eat. I'm so depressed. He'll be like, just give your husband some more blowjobs. Here's some semen to get you started. Give him shots of semen.

I don't have a husband. He'll be like, I'll take care of that. Oh, that was so hacky. Love it.

Okay, so women who are regularly exposed to semen, I wonder if you're just exposed to it, like, well, there's some semen on the wall. Are also found to perform much better at work and at home, specifically with tests which need a lot of concentration and cognition. So for forget every drug you've ever taken, just swallow a lot of semen. Weirdly, a woman's body can also tell the difference. Okay. This is evolutionary speaking, too, though, that a woman's body can tell different semen than the brand they're used to.

What, are we talking about races here?

No, we're talking about your husband's or your boyfriend's semen, which is strange. Women are less likely to get pregnant with new semen. So it pays to stick with one man if you're trying for baby. This is obvious.

It's not just oral sex. They say penetrative sex helps mood elevation and has health benefits. So there you go.

Wait, sex makes you feel better? That's shocking.

And research carried out. I'm saying this is like a duh. Duh. But research carried out by the Kinsey Institute recently shown that cunnilingus is good for both the giver and the receiver. So we're not leaving blowjobs out of this. We're not just talking about bloodjobs. Yeah, we're talking about kaling in the whatevs. Whatever. Are going to be women's, like, should I give them blood jobs? Should I not? Oh, maybe I'll have a spike in serotonin, and then she goes down. And I'm happy. I'm happy if people are getting oral sex all around. So even if you got to make up a study. Which I did not make up.

Right. They should not make it up. I've never heard of this. University of New York State Penitentiary.

No, but. Exactly. It was the people in the penitentiary. They were swelling to their semen. It's a very inclusive study.

Oh, that'd be. You know, what if they do start subscribing prescribing subscribe. Prescribing medication in the form of semen tablets. I would think a penitentiary would be a pretty good place to. To get their samples.

Sounds really, really dark.

Yeah, you could like start farming it out.

I don't want to talk about.

Make more money for the state. No. Okay, I'm sorry.

They do everything else. They use everything else to make money.

They're making license plates, they're beat off in this thing.

Yeah, I'm kinda grossed out though right now. Like at a Ding Dong, you'll get like fresh fruit delivered every week, like organic vegetables. And here's like my fresh semen from the penitentiary.

It has a little prisoner number on it, so you can track it.

Oh, that's dark. Okay, so. God. But you know what? I'm surprised at the. I'm not surprised. It'd be hard to do because they do have sperm banks. But what if it really was shown? It'd be just as popular as antidepressants. Swallow semen. But nobody has to be your brand of semen.

Yeah, but maybe you can do that in like your local store and like, say, I like some redheaded semen. Please.

Okay, let's talk about Ashley Madison. Because the story that will never, never, ever.

Is it still going on?

Dude. Well, here's the thing. So here's the update. They, you know, Ashley Madison attracted male customers with the claim that 30% of or 5.5 million of its profiles belong to women.

Right.

They proved this was a lie. In reality, it was as few as 12,000 real women may have been active. Okay, that's a huge gap.

It's a pretty big drop.

And otherwise. So there's now a class action suit that's just hit Ashley Madison, Parrot Company, Avid Life Media, and this guy, David Poyet is suing for 5 million in damages, claiming the site went to extreme measures to fraudulently lure in and profit from customers. They created 70,000 female bots that would answer these emails. Were they hot bots? I hope so. I hope they. At least they were hot. He said there was an army of fembots. In other words, the site purposely induced members to engage them by with fake profiles with the initial communication. And it directly caused members to incur costs while believing it was an actual person communicating, which we've all heard about this, but now there's a case against.

Don't these people kind of deserve to be lied to though? Not even because they're cheating, but just because they're dumb. You know what I mean?

I know.

Like, how can you really believe those 12?

Can't they just cheat like everyone else on Facebook?

Act of Instagram, cheating women on there.

I know, it's crazy. Well, that. You know what? Ashley Madison put so much money into advertising. They were on Howard Stern. I mean, they were on every show on the planet. And guys, they made it. Really. It's all about marketing.

Right? Who's gonna be next? There's gotta be another one coming up now. Who's gonna be a little more legit?

You know, it's funny.

Oh, there you go. There's a new business for you.

Oh, I have time for another business.

Yeah.

I was actually on Huffington Post Live the other day. They do this live Skype thing, and it was about Thrinder, the threesome app.

Oh.

Which got bad reviews at the beginning, but now it just got funding for like half million dollars.

What were the bad reviews? Like, only two people were right because.

It was a new app, but now apparently it's gonna be. They've got funding. It's gonna be more. And it was interesting because I was on the. You can watch the link. I don't know if I posted it, but it's on. Happy to post live. The founder of Thrinder, he's, like, in Germany and he said he started because his girlfriend wound up a threesome and they couldn't find anyone. And then it, like, it's really organic process and there's, you know, I guess it's getting. If you want to have a threesome, people email me all the time. Check it out. I'm not. I'm not going to vouch for it, but apparently it's, you know, on the up and up.

Super aids is on its way east.

Protection, everybody. Okay. Always. Speaking of cheating, dude, you said. What's next?

Oh, wait. That class action, though, for. For. We'll come right back to that. A class action that's going to be. They should have nothing to worry about, I would think, from Ashley Madison.

Why?

I wouldn't sign up for that class action if I was on Ashley Madison. I want to make my name even more public.

Maybe they've already. Their partners have already left them.

They got nothing to lose.

Yeah, like, get some money from it. But speaking of what's going to replace it? Almost half of all Tinder users are already in relationships, which there's been some mumblings about this in recent months. But now we already knew that Tinder has, among all of its awesome people looking for love, its fair share of total losers seeking to cheat. But we naively thought that the adulterous ones were few and far between. But check this. Unfortunately, we were wrong. A new online study pulled 47,000 Internet users ages 16 to 64 and discovered that of the 621 who had been on Tinder in the last month, 30% are married and another 12% are in a relationship.

And 12 million are women. No.

While the company has not specifically confirmed or denied the marital status statistics, it did offer an innocent explanation why so many of the site's users may already be taken. Tinder is a social network. There are many cases for it, not just dating. People are using it to make new friends to network, and they use it when they travel to meet people in the area. Yeah, I'm a single man on a. I mean, I'm a married guy on a business trip, but I just like to have dinner with a nice woman. I'm sure he didn't say, I'm looking for a nice guy. Right, so. Sounds like an excuse someone give their partner for cheating. Oh, I just wanted to make friends and have a dinner with someone.

I'm looking for a nice man to have platonic dinner with. Honey. That's all I was doing.

That's really. I mean, everyone's on Tinder, and everyone calls it like, a blowjob dispensary now. It's like a cheating dispensary, apparently.

I have such mixed emotions when I hear these stories.

I know. I mean, how do you not recognize someone as, well, like, oh, isn't that Susie's husband?

Well, because, like, you live in la, you could go your entire, like, year without seeing the same person twice.

No, that's true. And if you're in another city, what are the chances?

I think most people probably use this when they go out of town. I know when I was in Prague, I was. I mean.

Exactly. So, yeah, it's pretty bad. And it also. Oh, here's another thing. The representatives say that, you know, there's a lot of success stories as well. And they talk about their success. They made more than 6 billion matches globally, and they get hundreds of success stories.

Careful with your 6 billion matches there, guys, because look what happened to Ashley Madison with their inflated numbers, too.

But people are cheating. But here's the thing. People are cheating, probably locally. I hear that they are locally as well, so.

Well, maybe they start, like, when they're out of town, and then they start getting a little more risky and more risky and more needy.

I think that's when a lot of the cheating happens. I do. I know that.

Does it count?

If you're overseas, it does count.

Does that count?

But I think certain people think that it doesn't. If you got your passport in hand, you use your passport.

If you pay for it, does it count?

Yeah, it all counts.

Oh, it all counts.

It all counts. I would say people just maybe go into marriage counseling or something.

I love that Tinder, though, has the balls, the temerity to suggest that, hey, people are using this for other things.

They're just, you know, they want dinner. They don't want to have coffee alone. Yeah. So stupid. Okay, so everyone just be careful with this. And if you're thinking that you want to cheat, I get it. It's risky, it's exciting. It's the f. Thrill. But you love your partner, you're with them. And if you don't love your partner anymore and you don't want to have sex with them either, you have two choices. Decide to stick with them and work on it. However that. Whatever that means to you, talk to them about your sex life, or you leave them and then you don't cheat. Okay.

Unless you have kids and maybe work on it a little harder.

Yeah, if you have kids, definitely work on it harder. Cheating is not going to save your relationship. Okay, do you want another sex in the news or should we get any money?

If you got another good sex in the news, I don't know why you want it.

Were those not those?

Those are great.

Okay, this one is not about cheating. Actually, this one is for the people who are cheating, and they want to know how they can get their partners to have more sex with them.

Couples who share who are not cheating.

Yeah, if you're not cheating yet, but you're thinking about it, right? Couples who share chores may have better sex and have sex more often. Now, we've been hearing this for years. There's always studies that come out that guys who do housework are found more attractive by their partners, blah, blah, blah. But a new study from University of Alberta found that male female couples had better and more frequent sex when men chipped in with the chores. The findings revealed that when a man felt he was making fair contributions to household chores, a couple had more sex and each partner reported more sexual satisfaction. And it's not just because the men the women like want to see their husband there pushing a swifter. Or they think it's hot.

Right.

It's more that he. They feel that he's sharing the responsibilities. Not swifter.

Maybe they don't think it's hot. It's manipulation. My wife does it all the time.

What?

You look so hot when you're doing the laundry. I know you don't think I look hot. You just like me doing it instead of you.

No, but here's the thing. It enhances it because that it seems it's about respect. Because when the housework, if a woman feels or a man feels that their partner is not sharing, pulling their own weight, they feel disrespected. So it's a way of showing respect. And it's a way of showing that you're both in it together. We all live really busy lives, so says completing housework may or not be enjoyable, but knowing that a partner is pulling his weight prevents anger and bitterness or her weight creating more fertile ground in which a satisfying sexual encounter may occur. Because the truth is that ambiguity in division of household responsibilities between working couples often results in ongoing negotiations, resentment and tension. And when you resent your partner and you've tensioned, it builds and builds and builds. And then you don't know how to diffuse it because it's built and you don't even remember.

That's because you don't even know why you're pissed anymore. You're just pissed. This is why I hear you going towards like having a list on the fridge where like you figure out who does what chores. Let's not do that. No, that's like a chore wheel they.

Had at summer camp.

I thought that because you were talking.

About sweeps, the cat and die, how.

Ambiguous it is and who does what and like keeping track. All right, all right.

I wasn't saying that.

Okay, good. I was just saying I got jet lag. Em, I'm sorry.

Okay, okay, this is a disclaimer. Anderson has jet lag. And he's not responsible for anything he says tonight.

Nothing. We're starting the N word now.

So the number of basically, like I should ring the basically bell, don't I.

Will not that show.

The newer findings reinforce the importance of sharing the mundane parts of life in order to share the exceptional ones. So rather than avoiding chores in the hopes of having more sex, just do more chores. Makes sense.

Especially if that chore is taking your pants off.

Exactly. And then she swallows her semen.

And then she's not depressed, she's in a happy mood.

They all work together.

This is up in Alberta too. So there's a lot, a lot more chores with the old snow banks.

And you're so lucky to deal with that. Like growing up in Michigan, it was like we had a friggin shovel.

I spent a Lot of time in Canada.

You did?

My mom's from Canada. I used to go back every summer. Every summer I go to.

Exactly. Did you?

Deep Ontario.

Do you know what I had to do through college in Michigan? That I would come out of college?

Scrape your windshield.

But no, there were times where I couldn't even find my car because there was 15 inches of snow on it. And then finally I would find it. And then you'd have to chip away. Always an ice pick in the car.

And like, there's been like maybe a dozen. Because I'm born and raised in California, Southern California. There's maybe a dozen times in my life I've come out to my car, like on my way to. This is back when I was going to high school and I had to get up early and my window was like, you know, kind of frozen over. Furious.

Furious.

Maybe 12 times in my life.

Okay.

I go inside. I don't even know what to do. I'm getting like hot water and pouring it.

Yeah, you know what to do. So I had to deal with this every single day of my life. When I started driving at 16 in Michigan. That's why I'm in California.

We have other things to do with it's nails, bitch.

I am a tough bitch. Here it rains and everyone, like, freaks out. Makes me crazy.

You freak out. I've seen you freak out in the rain. All right, Everyone freaks out in the rain.

No, I don't freak out in the rain. I can drive in the rain. Dude should see me. I could do donuts in the snow. I'm awesome.

I want to see you do donuts in the snow.

I'm a killer driver. I really am.

What kind of car did you drive back then?

Oh, God.

Thinking like an Impala or something.

You're going to laugh so hard.

Nova.

No, it was the worst car.

A Duster.

Well, my first car was a Pontiac Sunburn. But it was like a really, like n. No, no, no. Like an ugly pont. Not even a Sunburg. A Pontiac was two toned. It was really ugly. But then the next car I had, which I had for eight years, was Geoprism. Do you remember G Prism Boxy? It was made by Pontiac and it was made by God. Honda, I guess. So it was like a mixture because we lived in Michigan. So my dad wanted me to buy American. My mom wanted me to buy foreign. I wanted a foreign car anyway. Geoprism. I drove that car to California, to San Francisco when I was 21. When I graduated from college, I didn't know anybody Got my car, drove out. So. It's such a bad car. Like it's this little dinky car. It was red. And when I got there, I had it for six more years and I had like a high powered jobs working for the mayor and my friend one day said, doesn't. I thought just rental car agencies had Geos. Like, is that even a thing? So that was my car. And when I got there, I still had all the snow stuff in it, like the scraper. I mean I had it forever. I've been for like 10 years. So that's the car I drove.

Did you ever get rid of that stuff or did that stuff go with the car?

I think I sold it with the car. Finally.

You drove out here, no friends, no contact.

I didn't know anybody.

Hey, Em.

What?

What were you running from?

That's what my brother says.

What were you running from?

He's like, you ran away? I just didn't want to live in Michigan with the snow anymore. Yes. I wanted to move.

So July, it's kind of funny. Time to run from the snow, Em.

Well, I graduated from college in June and then in July my mom was away in Italy for her birthday.

Who, what was his name? This person you're running away from?

No one. Funny thing is that my boyfriend at the time actually drove with me halfway.

Really? Did he know the plans or do you think you were just going on like a week vacation?

Oh, he knew. And I was so type A that you were.

I really wanted to work in politics, which is why I moved there. And I love outdoors and camping, hiking, running. But it was the year of the woman, Barbara Boxer, Dianne Feinstein, everyone running for politics running that year. So I drove. I was like, I have to get a job, I have to get a job. Like I really was so anal about getting a really good job out of college. And I drove there in three days from Michigan.

That's funny.

Like people would like stop at the parks and see things.

Most people. Three days to get up to Seattle.

Yeah, three days. I was like, I gotta get there. I just graduated, I gotta get a job. I was so crazy. He had a poor boyfriend and then I. No. Yeah. And then I flew him back to Chicago and never talked to him again.

Did you fly him back?

I did fly him back.

21 year old Emma. How'd you do that?

It was like a one way ticket to Chicago and I wanted to thank him for driving with me.

All right. Yeah, Chicago's a cheap place. It's a hub.

No, I was trying to be nice. He flew with he.

It just seems expensive for 21 year old. No friend, Emily driving out to California.

I just thought it was nice because she drove with me mostly to California.

I just can't imagine.

You had to. He didn't want either. I didn't, But I was like, well, I'll do that if you drive with me.

Enough money for playing?

No, I.

What, turn a couple tricks?

No, no. But that's what I did. It was like 100. Then you could. I don't know, but I guess I'm trying to think how I did it. Maybe I split it. I don't freaking remember. Or maybe I don't remember.

Maybe you're making that up. Maybe if we got up on the phone right now, he's like, that I paid for it.

No. Okay, so the deal is I got to. Why aren't we talking about this?

I don't know.

I'm sorry. I did have sex with him on the way there. You want to hear about that in the prism? Oh, dude, I went to Dead shows in the prism. It was a. I used to go.

To Grateful Dead shows in the prison.

It was a. It was a hatchback. I would sleep in the prison and have sex with my boyfriend at the time. But they could make a bed in there. Yeah, I did a lot of things in the prison.

That's the squarest car at that festival. At that Grateful festival.

It was. It was not a cool car.

I didn't know, hey, man, what kind of car was it? Cool.

But I'm not a car person. Like, I don't care if I'm cool or not.

You look really cool in your Mini, I can tell you that.

But it's so old and scratched up. If you look closely, everyone's like, that's so you. And I'm like, yeah. Cause I'm small. But then it's like a mess. The car's a mess. I really would like a new Mini. Okay.

All right.

Email or actually masturbate? What? Oh, yeah, no. Here's something I have to tell you all real quick before I get emails. So, Hustler. You know that I love the Hustler stores. I do workshops there, and I actually have one coming up. It's the week after the live show. It's like December 8th or 9th, that Tuesday or Wednesday. Not sure yet exactly. But Hustler, Hollywood stores should be your main destination for the best toys and erotica and sexy lingerie. It's a super cool store. There's like, in 12. See if they're near you. They're like in 12 different cities. If you use code Sex with Emily at checkout, when you go to Hostler, you get 20% off all your purchases. But now they launched this really killer online online site. And check out Emily picks. So every week, every month, I have an Emily pick page and it's@hustlerhollywood.com and you get a 20 discount on your online purchases when you use code EMILY20 at Hustler Hollywood. So all the toys I talk about. Check out my Emily Pick this month if there's a banner on the page and you'll see it. And I'm all about Lilo's Aina 2. It's called. It's a rabbit vibe. But it is such a cool vibrator because it is all these really cool functions and unique vibrations and stimulation patterns. Like, there's all these here' what I'm learning about vibrators in my tone years. Oh, all the time. Sibian dude, is that there's all these different vibr. Like. Like, some have deep rumbles, some have faster. Some are like, oh, you can, like, make the little rabbit ear stimulate. And this one's really cool because there's so many different ways you can use it. And it's great to use with a partner. So go to hustler hollywood.com, code EMILY20. Check out the aina. Read about it. I love it. It's a great rabbit vibe. And use code Emily. Also, another favorite bribe Thanksgiving right around the corner. Which means talk about what we're grateful for. I'm grateful that the magic wand rechargeable is now rechargeable and unplugged. It was actually part of my Halloween costume with Stanley. I was the orgasm fairy and my wand was the magic wand. Check it out.

What was Stan? He disappeared very early.

What do you mean he disappeared?

You walk out with him, you got Stan, and then the next thing you know, no Stan.

Oh, you saw the video. I couldn't hold him the whole time.

Sex toys.

Yeah, I'm sorry. He just made it. I put a little tutu on him. Okay. So the magic wand has no cord and no limits to where you can enjoy it. So I used to have to plug a hole. I used to have to drill a hole into my nightstand. Really? So it would say, unplug it. Now you don't do it anymore.

So did you really drill the drill?

Oh, I did, dude. I had a boyfriend do it at the time. It was just like five years ago in San Francisco. I was like, do you mind? I just want it plugged in all the time.

And then you're like, you know what? This drill works just as well as him as the thing that you were trying to plug in. So you start using the drill on yourself. Oh, no.

Never use a drill.

You could put something on the end of it.

No, but the new Magic Wand has four brand new vibration patterns, four levels of intensity. Try it all out. And you have to sacrifice any pleasure with the rechargeable. Go to magic wand rechargeable.com and check it out, because it's a good time. All right. Thank you for emailing me feedback at sex with emily.com. i love hearing from you. I love hearing where you live, your age and how you listen to the show. Tell me why. Why are you laughing?

I'm still just thinking about you, like, altering your furniture to make sure this is plugged in.

It was like, I don't have nice furniture. It was like something that I got at, like, the thrift store.

Kind of an insult to that guy a little bit.

With the guy I was dating.

Yeah, I'm all for, like, people bringing in toys. And I think. I think that guys who, like, get all, like, offended and threatened when a girl wants to bring a toy into the bedroom is ridiculous. But if you're like, hey, make sure this thing's always plugged in. But by drilling through my freaking furniture.

I tried to sell it when I moved to la and it was like, oh, sorry, there's a hole in the back.

It was not a really nice nightstand. It was like 20 bucks at the flea market. Okay. But I did that. But. Hey, Emily. So I have this problem with masturbation. I can't do it. And it's not because I'm a prude about it or anything like that. Believe me, I've tried. I just can't make it feel good. I don't know if I've got my head too much, but it's not exciting or good when someone else is touching you. Oh, it's not as exciting or good like when someone else is touching you. It's just myself. So I never really get anywhere. I've been having sex for eight years, but I realize that every time someone asks me what feels good or ask me to show them what would feel good? I have no idea. If I can't do it myself, how can I tell or show someone else what I like? You know, what do I do? Sign Lauren. Oh. I'm 28. I live in Pittsburgh and listen to the podcast on my iPhone. I listen to all the the older episodes too. Sometimes I listen to five or six a day.

Go Penguins.

Oh, my God, Lauren, you rock. Thank you for listening. And I want to help you here, honey. So you totally hit the nail on the head. You can't explain to another person how to make yourself feel good when you don't have the formula down yourself. You can't lie about it, you can't whatever, because you don't know. And it feels like she's falling into that trap that a lot of women believe someday my prince will come and so will I. It's not going to happen until you figure out what you like and what makes you feel good. But I totally understand that now. You've built this up in your head that it's hard for you to get in your room and do it yourself. And it doesn't feel good. So let me give you a few tips. Okay? First, your homework is to masturbate. I'm going to charge you with that, but I'm going to make it fun for you. Okay? I'm going to tell you steps to make it easier. The first thing you have to do is eliminate all distractions, which I actually believe is a huge source of trouble for a lot of couples and individuals who just don't have as much sex as they like. So what I mean by the as they like. We love multitasking. As women. We pride ourselves. We can do five or six activities at once. It's all good. But you need to turn off your cell phone, you need to lock your door. If you have roommates. You need to eliminate all the debilitating distractions. Get rid of the papers, the laundry, everything in your room, because.

You won't be able to relax. So just know that you're. What?

You gotta focus.

You gotta focus. And you can't focus for, like, is my neighbor coming home or my roommate.

Coming in or if you're a lady, you can't multitask tasks.

So you have to do all these things. So create a sexy space. The environment has a huge impact on your state of mind. So make sure that your surroundings are like, sexy. You know, make a sexy scenario. And this is about seducing yourself because that's essentially what you're doing here. You're staging a self seduction. So again, you remove the clutter, the works, you know, all your work stuff and light some candles. Like think about what you do if a guy was coming over that you want your boyfriend, but it's really just you. You deserve all of this. So put comfortable sheets on your bed. Oh, by the way, speaking of sheets.

Remember those bowl and Branch sheets I talked about a few weeks ago?

Yeah. Right before I left.

Okay.

Dude, you have them?

They're friggin amazing. Everyone was at my house. My whole team was at my house today because we were shooting some videos and we're just working on my home because it was a good time. And I was like, you guys just feel them? They do get softer with every watch. And. And you. They're like, oh my God. And they all got in my bed. We did a funny Instagram video. Cause they just loved my sheets. All six of the women in my office.

I missed that Instagram.

We haven't posted yet. It was hilarious. But if you guys. These sheets are awesome. So go to bowl and Branch. I don't remember what my code is. Maybe it's Emily or something.

Get A.

Cause it's just really cool. B O L L and Branch and code Emily and I love them.

Bowling Branch.

So anyway, get a glass of wine and then you have to turn yourself on. So just getting them. Okay, I'm here. Fine. I lit some candles. You have to think erotic thoughts. So Anderson, this might come as a surprise to you, but a lot of women have a hard time fantasizing.

I'm well aware.

Okay, you are. So a lot of them are like, I don't fantasize. I don't know what makes me feel good. So this is part of your homework. Porn. Great way. A lot of men and women, you know, use porn. So just start, you know, surfing around, seeing what, what turns you on. If that makes you feel uncomfortable, you can just start to fantasize and think about like. It's an important skill to cultivate. You can start by just thinking about, you know, what was a time, you know, peruse your own spank, bank your own memories to make your own spank. What was the time that you were really turned on? Can you think of it like the best sex you had and why and how it felt like get yourself into that mindset. So start thinking about it. Could be you could read erotica. You can listen to erotica. I mean, I'm not sure. We all get turned on in different ways, so do that. Also, if you need to buy some toys, I talk about great toys on the show. And you just gotta make sure that you're de stressed. You can take a shower. Then you have to start to touch yourself. Okay. And breathe. Oh, also, also one thing is breathe, breathing, breathe. Stress is a huge killer of Our sex drive. And a reason why you might not be getting yourself into the bedroom. So do a few deep breaths. A lot of times we hold our breath when we're masturbating. So just breathe. And then if your hands aren't doing it again, get a toy. Use lube. What?

Drink some water. I'm all I could feel. You need water. You're getting so worked up with this advice, you're, like, thirsty. Like a boxer, a prized fighter.

I am so thirsty. It's hot in here, too.

Well, that's because you're not.

Breathe. But I didn't breathe.

Every time Emily comes in here, the first thing she does is crank the heat. I know. It's so cold.

Usually. So you want to also experience. I'm going to help you out here. One more thing I want to tell you is that you really want to experiment. First of all, use lube. I don't know if you use lube when you masturbate. It is so important. Then you just start, like, touching your body all over. Practice with different.

Pressures with your fingers and your clitoris and your breast. Go fast, go slow, do circles, do your labia. I mean, just play around and you all. If you've been listening to the show, you've heard the story about my friend. She spent 30 days trying to have an orgasm. Every single night for 30 days. And it wasn't until like day 26 that she finally had one. So this might happen. Not happen right away. So don't think of this as like, it didn't happen. I'm done. Just like anything that's worth having in life, it takes work.

And she had a shampoo bottle up her butt when that happened. No, she did not.

So, Lauren, this is what I'm saying. Ease into it. Here's a new plan for you. Don't get stressed out by it. Create all these ways to de stress and have a good time. Let me know how it goes.

Hey. She can also lay in her hand until it goes to sleep. And then it doesn't feel like her own hand, so it'll feel like somebody else.

I heard that. That's such a bets for dudes.

No, but she said she doesn't like it if it's her own hand touching her.

Use a vibrator. There's so many great vibes. Jesus. Okay. Hi, Emily. My name is Amber. I'm 26, from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. They're both from Pittsburgh.

No different names, I hope.

Yeah, totally. This is Amber.

Pittsburgh. That's my team. That's my city. Pittsburgh Go Penguins.

Go Penguins.

I got a tattoo of the Pittsburgh Penguins.

You had another guy?

I'm a massive fan.

Dude, this whole show's about your tattoos.

I know. I would cuddle with Sidney Crosby. You don't know who that is. But I do. And I love him. And so does Stanley.

Do you know how I love Stanley?

Yeah.

Okay. My name is Amber, 26, Pittsburgh. Listen to your podcast via itunes. I found your podcast a few months ago. I'm a huge fan, and I've been bringing through binging on episodes ever since I've been dating my wonderful current boyfriend seven months now. We have the same pretty high sex drive. Enjoying sex four to ten times each week. Week. Plus additional solo masturbation.

Four to ten. Quite a range.

Yeah. Sometimes when we're having sex, he'll hit that perfect sweet spot and then have to change his momentum or angle. I asked him about this, and he said it's because to him, it hits his sweet spot too. So he adjusts himself so he doesn't come. I get that. And I'm appreciative, as our sex lasted a perfect amount of time for me. And he always works to get me off. But in the moment, it can be so frustrating. And what girl doesn't want multiple orgasms? Is there anything we can do to keep him moving on that delightful track without orgasming? Or should I suck it up and be happy for what I have? Thank you, Emily. You're amazing. I love listening. You've already improved my sex life more than you'll ever know, Amber. Aw, that's sweet. Oh, I want to add one more thing. How have I. Also, when I asked you guys earlier to submit your favorite memories, let me know how I helped your sex life, because people are saying I change it. Like, give me one specific thing, how I changed my life.

Yeah. Even with Amanda, I don't know how you change.

Yeah, people always say that. I'm like, I want to know.

Yeah.

Okay, so I love hearing from you, Amber. Sounds like a really healthy sex life. You're both getting what you need. I totally get what you're saying about multiple O's, because what girl doesn't want that? And, Anderson, you get this, right? There's probably certain spots.

I don't have multiple O's.

No, but there's certain places, spots, positions where you know you're gonna orgasm.

I'm a married man, dude.

So freaking annoying.

Yeah, guys have all sorts of tricks to clamp down, Right?

So this is what he. This is about him.

Sometimes they just stop and go Get a sandwich. I mean, you should be lucky.

Seriously. No.

What?

No, she should feel lucky.

Yeah, a little bit. That. I mean, he's not actually just ceasing the. The entire activity and going to watch SportsCenter for a while and then coming back.

But what she's saying is, what can we do? So when he gets. Do you guys all understand the curse on the penis?

I always say that.

Just stop that. So he gets to her sweet spot, which is his sweet spot, and then he stops.

Yeah, because it'll be done.

I get it. But here's how he can learn to not come. So she can have multiple orgasms.

But he has to do this. This is all on him.

I'm actually all ears. I would love to hear your advice on that.

First of all, he has to breathe outside the bedroom. This is all practices. He's probably doing shallow breathing, which is what a lot of guys do during sex. So when he does, like a form of meditation breath that he can. But this thing he has to practice, he can control the arousal and tension that leads to ejaculation, but he has to practice it outside the bedroom, which is deep, full breathing. And while he's doing that, that the breathing, he should try the stop start method. During masturbation, he brings himself close to orgasm, the point of no return where he's about to orgasm, and then he stops. So he recognizes his ejaculatory control levels. He's on the precipice, so he can learn how to control ejaculation. Also the squeeze method. During intercourse, one of you can squeeze the base of his penis at the exact point that he. With the stop start technique that he learned. And when he's at the brink of orgasm, this will reduce him. Like, reduce his erection through squeezing.

Reduces what? He's gonna go a little.

This will reduce. Yeah, his erection. He won't get flaccid, but he also will not ejaculate.

Well, then he won't be hitting her in the right spot either, if he's all floppy in there.

Well, he can just be hard enough. Maybe he'll get hard right after he comes. Okay. Or maybe it's right before. Okay. Kegel exercises. I can't emphasize this enough. I mean, really, how much do I love Kegel exercises on a daily basis? He could do it five minutes a day. He could download my app, Kegel Camp. So he doesn't for that. When these muscles become stronger and they do, it just takes like a month of doing them every day. He can squeeze them during intercourse and that will stop him from ejaculating. But, dude, this is stuff that Amber, he's gonna have to do without you.

I feel bad for this dude because she's gonna come at him with all these things and, like, hey, Emily says she has to do this, and Emily says you have to do that. Like, it's all on him. He's got so much work he's got to do now.

But here's the thing, Amber. Why here's the thing? You guys are having a lot of stuff. Sex. Why don't you guys engage in some mutual masturbation? Because to me, taking sex off the table for a while is really hot. So you're really going to want it the next day if you don't have sex this one day. So then you guys can mutually masturbate, where you masturbate and he masturbates. But while you're masturbating and watching each other, which is really hot, he's doing his deep breathing. Stop. Start kegel exercises for 5, 10 minutes. Make it fun.

That's like going to the gym.

Tell him to do it when he's driving in the car. Say, every time you're a traffic light. Do them now. I'm telling you guys, this is not easy. Guys, don't. Just don't. No one sticks to it. That's why it's really hard to help men with premature ejaculation. He's not that. This is not his problem, but anytime you've just set a new routine like this, it's hard. Even if he has a three days a week, though, there'll be a difference. So that's the only way this is going to happen here. Or you just. Or like, Anderson thinks that you might be being selfish, but I totally understand.

I'm not saying selfish. I'm just saying that it seems like the poor kid's got a lot of homework all of a sudden. Hey, it's a test, too, Amanda. If he doesn't do these. All this homework that he's being assigned, he doesn't like you.

Well, he does like you. Because I dated a guy for a while who was a pretty much way too long. Who was premature ejaculator. And he. And we read that book, Multi Orgasmic man, which is like a great book.

Which is like, read it aloud to each other.

Here's the problem. He bought it. He went to see a therapist. He's like, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. And he never did for like a year. It was like 10 years ago. But I was like, okay, this has not gotten better. And he was a premature. Premature ejaculator in the sense of like, a minute man.

Okay.

But I dated him for a really long time because I really liked him and he pleased me. And at the time, I.

The refractory period, though, was that. Was that bad. It'd take a while to.

All of it.

Oh, bad times.

The whole thing.

You get like a minute a day if you're lucky.

If I was lucky, then I just stopped having sex. So what I'm saying is. But I got frustrated that. But I think the thing is, that's why it was a good point. They could do it together. Like, you know what I mean? You know what, Amber? You should be doing your kaggle exercises as well, because then you'll also be able to have multiple orgasms in your own way that are a lot easier because kaggle exercises help with that as well.

As a guy who can be considered lazy at times. Times especially with this kind of stuff, I would approach him with, hey, I got something for you and something for me. We're both gonna do these things.

And I gotta tell you. And again, not to push kaggle camp, but I'm just. Because. Whatever. But I know a lot of couples who do it together, and they actually compete because there's 20 levels to kegel Camp, and you gotta move through each level. And I have a friend of mine who's in a relationship, but he and his girlfriend would send me the screenshots, like, who got to level four, level five. So that could be, like, a fun thing for you guys to do together. And then you'll both be having one.

What happens when you get to the new level? Is there, like, little.

Yeah, little things that happen? And you got level 20. It's hard, but you realize you've, like, Kegels of steel, like I said. I do. I can start a hammer. I can drill my own things into the wall.

You don't need that. Well, we talked about you doing maybe some pottery with and then selling it.

I do pottery. I walk Stanley, actually.

No. With his leash and my Kegels and your kegs separated.

That was his favorite walk.

Actually, we have time for one more email before I'm gonna shut you down.

Why is my nose stuffy? Because it's hot in here.

I don't know what's going on, man. I'm still. It's like seven in the morning where I'm from right now. I'm half asleep.

Emily, I've never really enjoyed receiving Oral sex and much prefer penetration. There's only been a few occasions where I've really enjoyed it. Enjoyed it and maybe once or twice orgasm by it. And those were years ago. Now my current partner wants to get better at it and finally make me orgasm via oral. But we're a bit stuck. I just never enjoy it. Any tips? Feel.

Okay? Here's the thing, Fiona. Not every sex act is for every person. You might just not like it. And many women who are multi orgasmic don't actually enjoy oral. But assuming that's not the case because they're too sensitive.

But before I start providing tips for your partner on how to improve his skills, it sounds like you need to work on improving her receiving skills.

But first you said if she is multi orgasmic, which is very likely the case case, then that's it's just never going to be good for her. Right.

You might never like it.

You gotta be clear about that.

Yeah, I'll be clear that some women don't. It just is uncomfortable because it's too sensitive.

Too sensitive, too much.

But I'm going to assume that's not the case.

But you're going to assume moving forward for this advice.

But if it is the case, then that's fine, no problem. Just tell them you can't do it, do other things. But you have to start enjoying receiving. So if you go into anything like sexual or otherwise with the mindset of like, I don't like it, it's never been good for me, guess what's going to happen? You're still not going to like it and you're still not going to want to do it. So it's important to approach it with an open mind and treat it more essential act. And like your essential act that then you're like troubleshooting the problems you had in the past. So learn how to relax in the moment. So this is about breathing, taking your attention, like what you're feeling in your body and not thinking about, I'm not gonna like it, I don't like this. When's it gonna be over? So just like relax, chill, breathe and let him do his thing. Now some tips for him. He has to warm you up, up. I'm sorry. But the anticipation is the best, sometimes the best part about sex. So don't go right for clitoris. This is for your boyfriend. You can tell him this too. Warm her up. Like massage her inner thighs, rub her, give her, you know, give her massage all over around the clitoris. Don't go right to the clitoris. Women Are very different. But, you know, when you indirectly stimulate it or when you wait to stimulate it, like rub her over her underwear, leave it on. Women like the sensation of the fabric on their skin. It feels amazing. She might need 10 minutes. But if you guys are just starting on this oral sex track and he's gung ho about it, why not take these minutes to get warmed up and go slow? Guys need to go five times slower than they think they do. Okay? So unless she tells you differently, start out slowly. Tongue. Once you start licking the clitoris, start off really softly and focus on the clitoral hood. You know where the clitoral hood is, right? It's not the clitoris. It's, like, right above the clitoris.

It's the part you peer.

What? It's the part that you pierce. Exactly. You can alternate between wide licks, small licks across the clit. And again, every woman is different.

Make sure it's moist.

Oh, please don't say that word. Yeah, so. And also, don't like. You want. You might want to use your fingers. You want to rub the labia. Remember, the clitoris has four inches of roots. Legs. There's clitoral legs that extend behind the labia.

Payback for my moist comment. Yeah, I hate when you're talking about the legs. The legs, the clitoris, the clitoris, and 4,000 nerve endings.

Maybe there's like, a G8000. There might be a G spot thing you could do with your fingers going inside. A lot of women, though, want to have the clitoral orgasm first. And here's the other thing. If you have a vibrator that you like, you could use a little clitoral vibe as well as his tongue, just to kind of get into it. Fiona, if that feels good for you, like, he could be licking your labia, and he. You could be having on your clitoris or vice versa. So don't be afraid to play with toys and use lube and just try different things. Make this fun. Don't make this, like, homework and a task. This is a good time because you might learn to love it. I'm telling you, you never stop learning about sex and having better sex, because that just keeps happening to me all the time. And I never thought I could have better sex. And just in the last month, I've had the best sex.

What? Really?

Yeah.

Why don't you lead with that, Em? It's called sex with Emily, for fuck's sake.

I'm actually.

And you were telling me just before the show, actually, that your guy was Gone for a couple weeks.

This is right before he left. And I was telling you that I actually missed Stanley last more than the guy.

And then the guy came back.

He's back tonight. I haven't seen.

You're like, oh, great. But I Mrs. Tanley, which bodes well for the relationship, I must say.

No, I'm really excited to see him. He's been out of the country. But, you know, I actually. I'm gonna get to that in a minute. My best sex. Because it kind of ties into something at the end. But first, because you're right. I can't just drop that. Okay, you guys, thank you. That's a great show. Anderson. What?

It's like you've been having the best sex of your life. You've been doing this show for 10. 10 effing years. Best sex of your life in the last month. And you're like, oh, afterthought. Yeah.

No. Well, I told you. I told you what I've learned with the Sibian. I guess I didn't really get into it, but it's pretty freaking amazing. Like, I used it with Ross.

Is that what we're calling him?

Well, that's his name. He was on my show. Well, we had a show called Guess who's Having Sex with Emily. And it was the first time it was released when you were gone. It was the first time there was.

Like, three or four people. It wasn't while I was gone, by the way. It was right before you left.

It was the first time.

Did you have three or four people on there to, like, they had to guess who which one was?

No, it was just Ross.

Oh, that's how you should have done it. You know what I mean? Like, guess what?

My next boyfriend. I'll do that.

Yeah, you need to dump him immediately. So we can do this, like, in six months. That's a great idea.

That's a great idea. Let's do that next. So I think that he. But we talked about the Sabian. What was I saying? Oh, it was called Guess who's Having Sex with Emily. You could check it out on itunes. It was a great show, I thought. But we talked about, like, using the Sabian together. Cause I was like, how am I? You know? And just like, watching him watching me. The foreplay and, like, the different. Just the way your body can feel all these different sensations that I've never felt before. And my orgasms are stronger, but it's mostly due to my Kegel exercises. Why? They're stronger. And I'm going to get into that in a moment, towards the end, I promise I will tell you all. But right now I want to say one more thing is that.

We need interns. We're looking for social media marketing interns. If you've got social media marketing experience, you're looking to further your skills, we want to hear from you. You can apply an internships.com or intern match. We only want Los Angeles or OC applicants. Sorry, no remote interns at this time. So check it out or email us feedback.

We get a lot of people who want to like intern us, intern for us who live out of state. And we just need people in the office because shit's going off and it's a good friggin time. You could just lie in my bed on my sheets. Thank you, Anderson.

Thank you, Em.

Yeah, it was good to see you. Good to see you. And anything new with Film Ball? I know you went to see a movie at 10am because you had jet lag.

Oh my God. Yeah.

You can talk about on the film ball peak.

No, I'm going to talk about Crimson Peak next week. I'm a little bit behind on everything. I saw no movies when I was in Europe. No time to see movies.

That's good. You were in the Cobblestone Streets.

But yeah. New film vault this week. I think it was pretty good. One top five Weasley characters, like undermining, conniving characters. So Ball, Brian and I had fun with that one. And I had some kind of embarrassing movies that I talked about that I saw like on the plane and whatnot. It was a little bit of a different episode.

That's funny.

I saw movies that I would normally never watch.

Yeah, that's good. Okay.

And a new After Disaster. After Disaster. That one we're gonna be smoking Cuban cigars in my backyard, talking all about the European trip and all I'm gonna do is ask our diva. Absolutely. Whatever you want.

I love you guys. Okay, good. I'll check it out. Thank you Anderson. And thank you everyone for listening. Was it good for you? Email me feedbackexwithemily.com.

Okay, I'm gonna get into why I'm having better or guesses. Here's the deal. Okay. I've been talking about the intention density, right? It's. It's the, it's the exerciser. It is a Kegel exerciser. Okay, so it is looks like a rabbit vibe, but it actually does your Kegel exercises for you. Now I told you I have an app called Kegel Camp and I've had it for four Years. And I really was good when I first got it. Just like anything. That's why I felt for Amber and her boyfriend, because it's like, it's hard to stick with something every day. It's time for Kegel camp. I wasn't doing it. So this part product has changed my sex life because what happens is it. I lie in my bed for 10 minutes a day. It's so relaxing. I literally, like, sit and meditate. I don't even. I use the vibrator after if I want to have an orgasm. But you. You put it inside you. It uses electro stimulation, which sounds really weird, but it doesn't hurt at all. And it's massaging your. It's like it contracts your vaginal muscles and so it gets the blood flowing again. And so it perfectly targets your G spot. And your clitoris will use it. And you can get it so you can use the inflation button. So. So it perfectly fits snugly against your muscles. You can tell how to use it. And it combines pleasure with pelvic floor toning. And it improves your overall sexual satisfaction. So I used it every single day for a month, like religiously, which again, is really hard for me to stick to a new routine. And my Kegels, I'm not just joking, are the strongest they've ever been. That I had this crazy orgasm during intercourse that I've never experienced. This kind of blended. And because I was using my Kegels because they're so strong right now, I was squeezing them in a way that I've squeezed them before. Anderson.

Poor Ross.

Poor Ross. Are you freaking kidding me?

Ross is like, yeah, I did this. And now if he hears this, I'm sorry, Ross.

You did. No. He's so hot.

It's all about the Kegel fucking exercise.

I'm sorry. It was so. It's just change it. And also, I have to say, when he did go down on me once and use his fingers, which I typically don't like, this is like, with way more information. That also gave me a killer other kind of orgasm because the muscles are so strong. That effect that. That also impacts your ability to have a G spot orgasm. This is not bs. This is like, I can't. And the fact that I don't even have to do them. I just lie there with something in my vagina and it does it like, the intensity. Go to pore moi.com p o u r m o I.com and check it out because it's freaking crazy. Oh, and if you want to know more about it. You're like, what the hell is she talking about? On my website there's sex toy review. Intense and unplugged is one what it's called also the Fleshlight. Let me just tell you real quick, you've heard me talk about it, it's amazing. It's a male masturbation sleeve. Well, now they have the quick shot. It's smaller. It's an open ended male masturbation around the size of a hand. It's geared towards a new kind of self pleasure. It still has the patented super skin material, but the quick shot is smaller, easier to handle and requires less cleanup. So you can use it solo or with a partner to take hand jobs and blow jobs to the next level. So it's a great way to get your partner involved in the fun. So there's no end. Like so you can just ejaculate into her mouth while she's giving you a hand job or blowjob. So it's like fits in her hand. It's the coolest thing ever. They told me about it months ago. I was like what, the clit shot? But it's the quick shot. It's awesome. So no matter if you use a regular flashlight or the quick shot, you'll be on your way to mind blowing orgasms. Go to sex with emily.com Click on the Fleshlight banner, use code EMILY. Get a free bottle of their award winning flesh lube. Thanks for listening. Love, love you. There's one overlooked mineral behind better sleep. Sharper focus, stronger muscles and a healthier heart. And at least half of us aren't getting enough. Most people don't realize they're running low on one of the most vital minerals for human health. Magnesium. And here's the thing. No single form of magnesium can deliver all of its benefits. That's exactly why Qualia Magnesium plus was created with 10 highly bioavailable forms of magnesium plus over 70 essential minerals. It provides total magnesium support, helping you sleep better, think clearer, move stronger and feel your best every day. And honestly, when you're less stressed and more energized, your intimacy and desire naturally benefit too. Sure, magnesium can help you sleep, but Qualia Magnesium plus goes beyond that. It's a whole body nourishment for how you think, move, connect and feel. More than just a sleep supplement. It's a foundation for daily well being. Which absolutely supports a healthier supplement sex life. Getting enough magnesium from food alone is harder than ever due to depleted soils and chronic stress and our body's reduced ability to absorb it as we age well. Qualia's Magnesium plus formula is non gmo, vegan, gluten free and designed so all the ingredients work together for comprehensive magnesium support. And personally, I've been taking Qualia Magnesium plus in the evenings and I really noticed calmer nights and clear mornings and just feeling more grounded in my body body which always makes intimacy feel more accessible and enjoyable. It's become such an easy part of my nightly routine. Experience the most trusted magnesium for your purity, potency and performance. Go to qualialife.com sexwithemily for 50 off. And here's a bonus use the code sexwithemily for an additional 15 off your order. That's q-u a l I a life.com sexwithemily thanks for qualia for sponsoring this episode.